 Hi everyone, how are you feeling today? How are you doing? Let me know. My name is Claire Carmichael, I'm a general practice nurse and this is a blog all about mental health awareness. So the 18th of May to the 24th of May, 2020 is Mental Health Awareness Week and this year's theme is all about kindness and I am all for kindness. I'm such an advocate for kindness because kindness really does matter. Kindness, the quality of being friendly, generous and considerate, Oxford Dictionary 2020 or a kind act. So kindness costs absolutely nothing. It takes nothing to say please, to say thank you, to hold open a door for someone, to make sure someone's okay. It costs nothing but actually that small act of kindness could make a whole lot of difference to someone that's going through quite a lot. You don't know who you're walking past. You don't know what's going on in their lives. Even the most happiest, positive, smiley people have issues in their lives. They might be going through mental health crisis. There might be a lot of things that you don't know. So you must not assume that, because someone appears happy and okay, that they are actually okay and this is why it's really important to be kind to absolutely everyone because that little bit of kindness or unkindness could really affect somebody. It could be the last straw for them. So it's really important that that kindness, you flip it around, you make their day. And this sort of, it makes me think of a story I was told when I was younger and I remember who told me the story but it really sticks in my head. I think it must have been a teacher at school in primary school. I remember being really young, like eight, nine maybe. So it must have been, I think, in school of some sort but it really stuck in my head and I must warn you, this story might bring back some memories for you. It might sort of hit something inside of you. So I'm really, really sorry if this affects you in any way but I just wanted to share this story because it really does make you think and it makes you think about being kind to other people and actually the importance of it and how much it can really affect somebody. So yes, here it goes. It's called the accountant and the waitress. Might be slightly edited. So there's an accountant, his name is Dave and he's 38 years old and he's coming back from a really, really rubbish day at work. He's had the worst day. He's had terrible customers complaining to him on the phone about things that have gone wrong with their accounts and stuff. He's had a hard day. So he thinks, do you know what? I'm gonna go, I'm gonna get a drink before I go home to my family. Just to, you know, relax, chill out. But he's really wound up. He really needs this drink. So he pops into this restaurant slash bar place where he goes in and he is met by a lovely waitress called Laura. I must say now, these are not real people. I have completely made up their names, ages and things for the purpose of the story, obviously. So Laura is a 35 year old waitress and she's coming through a rough time too. She's just broke up with her boyfriend. He's been cheating on her. She's having a really bad argument with her mum right now. So things are really looking tough for her. And also she has been struggling with her own mental health as a result of this breakdown in her family life, with her partner. And she's not coping well. However, on the outside, she's happy, she's enthusiastic, she's smiling because she wants to make the most of every day. And she's at work where she's carefree, she's in a safe place where she doesn't have to worry about this home life. And so she is there and she is about to serve Dave. So Dave orders a drink and he goes and takes a seat and Laura brings over the drink to him. However, this was the wrong order. She's took over someone else's drink and Dave's not happy with this. He's had a hard day. All he wanted was a pint of lager and in front of him is something else. He's a pint of Guinness and he's not happy. He's fuming. He has a go at Laura. He tells her that she's incompetent, she's rubbish at her job, she needs better training. Maybe she should think of a different career path. He's horrible to her and he dumps the drink down and he leaves, leaving Laura feeling really deflated. Her safe place has become a place that's unsafe now. Her place of work has now become that niggling thing in the background saying to her, you are a bad waitress. How would you get that drink wrong? This is the place where you're most comfortable. You know your stuff. You've been here for years now. Why did you do that? Maybe I am a bad waitress. Oh my God, my colleagues are lying to me. There's a lot of things going on in her mind and so she gets really upset by this and she walks out of her job, just like that, done. That was the last straw. Dave, acting the way he did, was the last straw for Laura. She feels like she's got no friends. She's just lost her boyfriend. She's fighting with her mum so her family life is completely broken down and she feels like a failure at her job. Her world was literally crumbling around her and she felt like the only way out was to kill herself. Now let me take a few steps back. So let's go back into the bar. Let's enter Dave again. However, Dave this time feels a little bit more kind and Dave gets his drink. He was the wrong order but he says, do you know what? It's not her fault that I'm having a bad day. I shouldn't take this out on this person. These are the thoughts that's going on in his mind. So he approaches Laura and said, oh, I'm really, really sorry to bother you. I actually ordered a lager. I didn't want a Guinness. I know it's completely an easy mistake so please don't worry about it. And he smiles and he shows that kindness and that compassion. And Laura actually thinks, do you know what? This man's kind. He's been kind to me. Things are looking good. Things are okay. And at the end of the day, Dave leaves. He actually leaves her a pound tip. Laura's really grateful of this. She thinks, do you know what? I am worthy of something. I am good at my job. I love this place. And actually I'm feeling better today. I'm feeling much better. Maybe I could go home. Maybe I can make amends with my mom. You know, I'm still young. I can meet somebody else. You know, I need to focus on myself right now, my career, getting that management position that I wanted. Actually things are looking good. So do you see how different a little bit of kindness can really affect somebody? Like your little bit of meanness or you don't hold open the door open for someone. You don't smile at someone. You sort of snither at someone. Could really, really, really affect somebody's personality. That might be the last straw for that person. They could be at their last wit's end and all they need is a smile or a piece of kindness from somebody. So this is why it's so, so important that no matter how someone appears, you must always, always be kind to somebody else. Offer help, ask somebody, are you okay? And it can just make, it can completely turn somebody's life around. So please, if you don't listen to anything I've said, please be kind to someone today. And I think right now with the COVID pandemic going on, a lot of people are struggling right now. A lot of people are feeling very low in their moods. They're having mental health crises. A lot of services have been stopped as a result of COVID. They're doing sort of video consultations and that can really affect some people. So I just wanted to raise a bit more awareness of kindness and helping each other out. And if you've got a friend, if you've got a family member, a colleague, make sure they're okay, check in on them. But not only that, make sure you're okay because if you are a nurse, if you're a student nurse, whatever field of work you're working in, it's really important that you're okay. But your mental health absolutely matters. You are just as important as your patients. Like you matter, you really do matter. And you need to be your best self so that you can care effectively for your patients. I mean, I've had awful days in the past where I've still gone into work and I've just been so deflated. I haven't wanted to be there. And it really does affect you. You do make simple mistakes, like charting things wrong and these little things can happen. So it's really, really important that you look after you so that you don't make these mistakes and that you can give the best care possible to your patient. But also, again, you matter. Your mental health matters so, so much. You need to get yourself in a place where you can feel good again, good about yourself, love yourself. Know that you're gonna be okay and that life is gonna be okay and that there is that light at the end of the tunnel. So just do more of what makes you happy. If you're into meditation, do some meditation. If you've never tried meditation, give it a go. I do a lot of meditation because I do get some anxieties and stuff and that's been ongoing for the past few years. No one would ever know because I'm so smiling and happy and I push myself out there. If I'm worried about something, I try and push it away and I go for it. And although that's a good thing in a way because I do get on with things, but actually it's not so good in a way because I'm not addressing that anxiety and I do worry for my future because I think, okay, if I'm pushing and suppressing these feelings, what's gonna happen in the future is gonna get worse. So it's really important that you as well, if you're dealing with these sort of things, that you address why. I mean, anxiety mainly, I'm sorry, I'm speaking about anxiety because I can relate to it, is the fight or flight response in the body. So that's what's causing those sort of anxiety, the sort of heart palpitations that you might get, this worry, this fear from nowhere, this uncertainty, those butterflies in your stomach, this sort of irregular breathing. Sometimes I feel like I don't breathe and I think, I need to breathe. And I just feel like that sometimes and I don't know why it comes, it just comes. But yes, that's something I have to deal with. Sorry, I've never spoken about this out loud. I've just realized I'm telling you all about it. But it's really important that you look after yourself and your mental health because I absolutely understand, sorry. Here you go, I'm getting emotional now, see? I have tears too, guys. But I just wanted to raise awareness that the reason why I was talking about it is because I wanted to raise awareness that anybody can have those feelings, anybody can have a mental health crisis in their lives, no matter how well they're doing, no matter how... I mean, my life is perfect. I have a great job, I've got a great family. Everything in my life is good and there's absolutely no reason in my head why I should feel like this at all. But I do get days where I feel like that. I do get days where I am very anxious. There was a day probably two months ago that I had a day off, I really needed to go to the post office and I couldn't do it. I don't know why, but I sat there and I was like, I can't go, I can't go, I can't get ready, I can't get dressed. I was looking at the dishes and my sink that needed to be done and I was like, nope, not today, Satan, not today. No, and I literally just sat on the sofa, I scrolled on social media, I watched Telly and I just, I couldn't do that simple, simple task of going to the post office or doing my dishes. I didn't even want to cook for myself, it was, it got to that point. But the next day I felt a lot better and I was okay, I went to the post office, I was like, actually this isn't so bad. And it's just so weird how these things come and I don't know why it happens, it just happens out of nowhere sometimes, but I just wanted to share that and raise awareness of it because it can happen to anyone and that's why it's really important to, again, be kind to others but also look after your own mental health. So like I said, I do meditation, I do a lot of meditation, I do a lot of breathing exercises, please look all of this up, I'll leave some links below to it. Breathing exercises really, really help to sort of steady the mind, calm the mind, regulate your breathing, your heart rate, things like that. It's really, really good for that sort of things and I do it probably daily actually just to make sure that I set my day right. Even if I'm not feeling anxious, I'm like, okay, breathe and just do those exercises just to make sure that I am okay and it's sort of becoming a routine for me now. So yeah, so it is really important, do things that is gonna make you feel better, whatever makes you feel better, even if you just wanna spend a day in bed watching rubbish TV, you cry it out, let it all out, write it down, writing it down is really good as well. I've done this in the past. Write down your worries, even if you don't wanna write things down, you don't know what to write, just start writing anything and the words will come from somewhere inside of you. It will come onto paper and it's really good to get those thoughts and feelings out and then you can rip it up, you can burn it, do whatever you want with it, hide it, whatever you wanna do with it but as long as you're addressing those feelings, that's the important thing I think, address the feelings, address the fears, address the anxieties and just remind yourself daily that actually it's gonna be okay. I am loved, I am worthy, I have my self-esteem, do the power pose, anything that's gonna make you feel good about yourself and remind yourself that you're safe, you're loved and you're okay. That's another mantra that I do, I'm safe, I'm loved and I'm okay and I constantly feed myself like that to sort of settle the anxiety. So these little things I hope they're gonna help you if there's things that you do that make you feel better, put the comments below because it might really help somebody else and let's just leave some nice comments actually whilst we're on that subject. Let's just leave some nice supportive comments but other people out there that might be going through a rough time today that might read your comments, please let's just get it out there. Let's spread some love, spread some kindness and don't forget to do something kind today. Anyway, I'm gonna stop talking. I'm so sorry guys. I feel like I've just waffled, I'm waffled but I hope it really helps you and if you need support, if you need help, please get the help that you need. My inbox is always open for anybody. I keep saying this. If anyone wants to message me, please feel free to but if you need that extra support like professionally I will have to signpost you somewhere else but I will put some links below just to help you and I hope that you're doing okay. I'm gonna ask you again, are you really okay? And I just wanted to end this vlog. I got some people to do some little video clips for me to raise awareness of mental health especially hearing about nurse suicides, doctors suicides, it's awful. It's awful that this should happen to anybody but I just wanted to raise more awareness so I got some people to share their stories with me or their tips or a bit of inspiration and I just wanna leave this video with their tips and advice for you because it's really important that you hear their message and I hope that it helps you if you're really struggling right now you might need to hear this and a massive thank you to them all for helping me and speaking openly and freely about their own problems as well and giving those words of encouragement and support to others. So thank you guys for your help and here they are. Hello, my name's Becky Crisp and I'm a second year student nurse. This is a quick message to those who have heavy heads at the moment or unhappy hearts who are not having a great time. First of all, a lot of us have been there and a lot of us don't know exactly how you feel and that's why we need to understand our heads and what makes us unhappy and there's two things I've learned so far that makes my head lighter maybe not completely amazing but lighter and that's taking solace in day-to-day activities that make you feel wholesome and make you feel complete. Whether it's eating correctly, it's listening to that music that you want taking that five minutes of meditation, having those vitamin D capsules. You know, you've got to make sure that you feel like you and that you are taking solace in preparing yourself every day for those really tough, hard, long shifts. And the second thing that's helped is I found a community of light-minded souls. For me, it's online on Twitter. I've taught people that have the same anxieties as me or stresses and it's just about breaking those unknowns that make me a little bit more grounded and your community to talk about your head and your heart could be your neighbor next door, it could be at university, it could be a study group or it could be a lecturer, it could be someone, anybody, but find your tribe and it's so refreshing to hear what other people have to say and you go, oh, me too. And that me too can become we too. So just look after yourselves, look after your hearts and your heads and all my love. Hi, my name's Dana and I'm a third year student nurse from the University of Portsmouth. I've had a long history of suffering from a few mental health conditions like depression and anxiety. And I'm my own worst enemy when it comes to low points in my life. I've found that things that help for me are getting out of the house, getting out of my same four walls, even though it's a push to get there. Having a chocolate bar, even though I'm diabetic, if I want a chocolate bar, I'm gonna have that chocolate bar. No one will stop me. And also finding my family. I disconnect from them when I'm having those low points, but finding them and just talking to them even when it's stuff that I don't want to say and I just want someone to listen. Just works. So please, if you're ever in doubt of anyone, pick up a phone, go outside, speak to someone, or even contact any of us on Twitter. We're all pretty friendly people, seeing as they've gone into the most amazing career possible. I hope I can help someone out there. If you need help with anything, whether it's assignments or placements, you just gotta ask for help. If you're finding an assignment hard, you can speak to your tutor, the person who's marking it, to the other people on your course, to the library, there'll be study skills. All of those things being there shows that you're not the first person to struggle, and it's fine, you just gotta ask for the help. If you're struggling with placement, if you're feeling down, if there's problems at home, talk to your mum, talk to your family, talk to your friends, talk to the other people on your course or your tutor, just talk to someone, phone them, email them, text them. But just make sure you talk to someone. As another mental health awareness week comes to a close, I'd like to encourage everyone to look after their mental health, not just this week, but every week. Life is an ongoing battle, and we need to be aware of the bad things and help nurture the good things. I'd like to shout out to all the newly qualified nurses who are starting their careers during a pandemic. Don't forget, we are still learning our roles, and don't beat yourself up if something goes wrong. Reflect on it, learn from it and grow from it, but don't beat yourself up for trying, learning and caring. If you need help, seek support from your colleagues and your superiors, because there are ways and means to support you to help your potential to grow. Asking for help does not mean that you have failed. And don't forget to think about all the good things that you do every single day. You're all amazing. Keep going and look after yourselves.