 Oh, this show is gonna be good. We ask the sisters, what is your definition of love? And what are signs of a good relationship and what are the warning signs? Find out what the sisters think. Sister to sister, so glad you're with us today. We are five, opinionated, women of God, and we answer questions that you send in from the Bible, from our hearts. And we're so excited, we have Tiffany Gilbert with us today, sitting in for a hello. Tiffany, welcome. Thank you. And I know you'll get words in. Because, yeah, because the sisters were so gracious. We're happy to have you. We're so happy to have you. And the questions that you send get us really thinking. And here's what they are. This first one, wow. Wow, you write, what does the Bible mean for a woman to be man's helper? I wonder who wrote that in? Who wrote this question? Who wrote that? Who are you? Who wrote this question? Okay, well, this is in reference, first of all, in Genesis, when Eve was created. So that's where we first see that as a woman is helper. And basically, this is really God creating Eve to fill in the deficiency for Adam. So the Hebrew translation for this is a word, easer, which is helper. And this actual word that's used there is also used to describe God in places in the Bible. God as a helper. Yes, so the same word used for woman as a helper is also used for God. So I think that that is a very important thing to remember. It is not a place of subservience or a secondary position. It is a place, a complementary place. It is a place that is not of lacking, but of filling in the deficiencies where the other person is lacking. Cory, thank you because I thought it would be the deficiency. I thought it would be like a subservient thing. No. What do you have, Roxy? Oh man, Cory, that's great. Yeah, that was good. Like the protégé, they help each other. Love it, love it. You know, I'm gonna talk about, this is what came to mind to me and I don't know. It's a woman who tried to be a helper, but her husband didn't take her advice. Guess who that was? Pontius Pilate. Oh yes. That's so true. She had a dream. She was terrified. I'll give the governor of Judea, I'll give him credit that he at least read her note. She sent him a note. She's on his judgment throne and she said, don't touch this man. You know, he's from God and he half heartedly tried to do something, but he succumbed to the crowd. So I even found out when I looked her up, they believe her name was Claudia and the Greek Orthodox Church canonized her. Wow. Because she recognized who Christ was even through this dream tried to warn her husband. So I wanna say to ladies, don't always agree. If God put something in your heart and it's confirmed by the scripture and confirmed by others, a help mate could also be a resistance to your husband going the wrong way. Absolutely. Oh, right. Like Naaman and Abigail and all that. So, you know what? Be strong in the Lord and follow him. Ooh, good. I'm a big fan of men listening to their wives. Me too. I mean, I look at a couple and I'm thinking, that guy's, he's gonna be fine. Because she's so amazing. I have scripture to back that thought up. God said, this was not me. This was God in Genesis two. Now the Lord God said, it is not good, sufficient or satisfactory that the man should be alone. Reach. There's some issues there. I will make him a helper, meet suitable, adapted, and complimentary for him. And all the women said. Amen. Tiffany, what do you have? That was good. We need to talk more about that piece. You know, just with everything else, I think, you know, to assist, to help, and it's interesting. Many people, of course, marry their opposites. I don't know, it's just me or, you know, I mean, I married my opposites, let me just say that. But yeah, to assist and help, you know, again, there are things that, you know, he may need to be sharper in, that I kind of help, you know, and vice versa. And I love the point that you made about the resistance. Because there are times when God has shown me something and I said, hey, listen, we need to look at this. We need to really take a deeper look into this. And, you know, I submit it and let it go and let God. You're a good helper. Good helper. And I have another question that's very interesting and I want everybody to give me their answer to this one. What is your definition of love? I'm just gonna put it right there. Well, the key word is being your definition of love. We're in a world of like, your truth, this is my truth. I mean, the absolute truth is that God is love. Love is patient kind of that. But if I'm saying what is my definition of truth, I would have to say covenant. It's a deep sense of loyalty. I'm committed to you. What is yours is mine. What's mine is yours. Love is covenant, which represents everything that God is for me. And that's in a relationship with a husband and wife too. So if you're not married and you're hearing our question, what is your definition of love? For me, it's all the love of God, what he did for us on the cross. So I went that direction instead of husband-wife direction. What do you have? Well, John does say no greater love. Jesus actually said it before he went on the cross. No greater love has a person than he lays down his life for his friends. That's right, that's where I was. And that's covenant. Yeah, it is. And she understands, she's a pastor and understands the covenant. The lamb was slain, there was a contract. They bound themselves together. So whether single, married, whatever, it is a commitment to someone else. And it is a commitment. It's not just you die to somebody physically. I mean, thank God for our soldiers, military, et cetera, that have given their life sacrifice. But sometimes it's being humble. It's not saying a word, having to get your word in above everybody else's. Sometimes it's being the servant. Sometimes it's being the leader. So the issue of self-sacrifice, of giving yourself, preferring somebody over you is true love. Oh, I love that. I agree with that. I think that's really good. And I thought about, for God so loved the world that he gave. Me too. He made that sacrifice. And I put in there for me is that, somebody that's willing to sacrifice for me without wanting something in, come on. Yeah, they don't want anything in return. And then I also put, when someone is willing to tell me the hard truth. If you love me, you're gonna tell me the truth. Ooh. Not happy. I love the knife. She was using my scripture better. Better is the rebuke of a friend than the kisses of an enemy. Jesus kissed Jesus. The man that I kiss, he does he? Uh-oh. What about you, Missy? Well, there's obviously different kinds of love. And we know that. But I said it's putting others before yourself. You mentioned that. That is, in all the different kinds of love, it's putting someone else's needs before your own. And I also think thinking the best of others, you know? It's so easy to fall into that trap where you start to think like of your spouse or your friends or even your kids or your friends. You know, just to start to think like, you know, there's so annoying. There's just a jerk. You know, you start to fill your head with those little, and that's when those, you know, problems start to creep in when you start to think poor thoughts of others. And so when you love somebody, you think the best of them. All the time. Yeah, I like that. I really like that. Ooh, I gotta go to the next question. But I'm loving this love, love, love, love. We're all about love. Okay, oh, this one is crazy that you wrote. You said, I have a childhood friend, really good friend, best friends forever, but now I'm thinking I'd like to be more than friends. And I'm afraid of scaring him off. So it's a lady that's writing and her friend is a guy. Okay, and I'm afraid of losing the friendship if I try to take it one step further. I'm not sure what you want us to tell you. How do I know if it's worth the risk? I'm not sure. Oh my, I thought of the wonder years. I grew up like the wonder years, they were friends, the two of them. What's their names? I forget. Winnie and, you know who I am. Okay, so then I think they got married and they got divorced. You know, the wonder years growing up together. Then I thought of my best friend's wedding with Julia Roberts, her character. He suddenly is engaged. He's engaged and she's thinking I won him. Yes. It's too late, sweetie. That's right, that's right. I forget what happens there. She realized that he was in, oh yeah, we won't say, okay. But that's all right, no, it didn't work out. They didn't get married. We won't say, it didn't work out. So what I'm saying is this. I don't know what I'm saying, but don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. I mean, don't wait till he gets engaged. Don't wait till he gets engaged to start thinking like are you worried you're not going to marry somebody? How is he your best friend and you never loved each other? I'm trying to figure that one out. What are you saying? That's right, I'm going to give the scriptures. Just gave us movies to go with. Go figure, you're influencing me. I don't know what to say. It's 27 addresses, I think. Yes, yes, yes. 27 addresses. But that's the whole thing that we're fascinated with that person that we were best friends with that couldn't have possibly worked out as a romantic relationship. And I have seen some older women that regret that they did not let the guy know that she liked them. And I don't know, I find it hard to believe that there wasn't some type of like, he didn't have some type of inkling. Right. I mean, Sally, I mean, the rest of the ends. We've got mails. How do you be best friends and not tell each other what's going on? Absolutely go for it. I'm a true size. I'm sorry. Somebody help me. You think they wouldn't do that to me? Life is too short. You need to express that. If your friendship is strong enough and they're not interested, you can withstand it. And eventually does meet somebody else and they get engaged or get married or whatever. Like you will, like your relationship is going to change anyway. You're not going to have that best friendship with him anyway. So go for it. Okay, I have a question that's not exactly this question but it's a question similar to this. We lost the show somewhere. Here's a really good question. Can men and women be best friends? When Harry met Sally. Okay, well that's in the movie. But can men and women, like how would you feel if your husband had a girl that was his best friend? So this person, I mean they're not married but can men and women be best friends? Yeah, but not if they're married. Not if they're married to other people. Yeah, you can't do that. That's right. What if they are married to other people? Your spouse is your best friend. Well, if the man's spouse is also your best friend. Wait, say that again? If they're both your best friends. Who is the best friend? The couple. If the couple is both your best friends. Yeah, that's true. You can't leave somebody else's life out. You can't leave somebody else's life out. No, no. You can't leave somebody. You can't leave a spouse out. But you're saying if the woman and the woman, they're best friends and the man and the man, are best friends or like? Yeah, if the husband and wife are both your best friends, I think it's okay. I think you're playing with some fire. Yeah, well, you know. Well, Ken, I wonder. I think you're going to have a lot of fire in there. Emotionally connecting with. Yeah, exactly. Because that emotional connection leads to, a lot of times, to sexual. Well, and then that, like think about, you'll say, oh, he's my work husband. Or she's my work wife. Okay, so this person, you have no idea what you wrote to us. And the hornet's nest that you did create. Well, yes, you do because you're watching the show. They may not air this show. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you all. We all just got fired. We all just got fired. We'll be right back. Right after this. Welcome back, I think. This has been probably the most unusual sister-to-sister show that we've ever had. So I hope that you saw the first half. And this little half, too, is really good, too, because this is a serious question. Now, what are the, thank you for writing, what are the warning flags or red flags I should see in a bad relationship? Tiffany. So I guess based upon the previous question, though. No, no, we're moving on. No opposite friendships where the opposite sex or no friendships with the opposite sex. Okay, so I think it's really important because I've seen this and it's not good. I've seen people, one person in particular, who on fire for God, baptized ready to go in the church, met a guy. Guy wasn't having all this. They're gone. What do you mean they left a change? No, well, they kind of left everything. Oh, no. So, you know, my heart goes out to situations like that because, you know, I mean, that's a huge warning flag. If he is pulling you or she is pulling you away from the things of God, do you need to take a step back? Number one. Yeah, that's number one. Also, too, I always like to know, how do you deal with me when you're angry? Good one. Oh. You know, are you blowing your top? Are you, you know, do you know how to, not, I mean, you know, there's normal things that happen when we fight and argue and disagree. But I'm saying, are you blowing your top? Are you like... And you're talking about a spouse. But, you know, even with a relationship. Relationships, too. Could be friends, too. Yes, that's what I'm talking about, yeah. What's a red flag in a friendship when the person goes all cuckoo? Yeah. Yeah, not good. What do you have? Dishonesty. Hides things. Keeps secret. Yeah, absolutely. Is a cheater. I think those are all like big red flags. You gotta really look at those and evaluate those. Not that people can't change, but you really need to look at that. Doesn't show you love in the way that you need to be loved. Because if you, if that's not happening in the dating phase, you best believe that's not gonna be changing when you get married. I'm sorry to say that. Yeah, if you're not getting that love in that phase, it's not happening when you're 10 years down the road, okay? So it doesn't make that person a bad person. It's just that that's not a compatible relationship. And I think people don't spend enough time looking at these warning signals in their relationships ahead of time. They're so caught up in the butterfly feelings and I'm attracted to them and we have physical compatibility and we, I just, you know, we have all these other things. They don't look at these warning signs. They don't spend enough time delving into the warning signs to say, is this something that can last long term? Right, right. So anybody else have a warning sign? Yeah, well, she says the prudent, Proverbs 27, the prudent sees danger. Some versions say evil and takes precautions or fleas. You know, sometimes you see it but you don't want to see it. The Lord shows you, your family shows you, your friends show you but you don't want to hear it. Open your ears, open your eyes, see the precautions and see the dangers and take precautions. And do what you have to do for you. Whether it's a friend, whether it's a boyfriend, girlfriend, whoever it is or a relationship or just be careful. Do you have a warning or do you have a good flag? Well, a warning flag for me and this is like across the board whether husband or friends is like lies, manipulation, deception, insecurity. Oh my gosh, an insecure friend. Oh my gosh, an insecure husband. It's like, I'm not your security. I don't know how to, I can't be that for you. You have to be secure in who you are. You know, first and then you bring that which leads into the healthy. What do you bring that's healthy? I'm secure. I'm secure in who, that I am God's daughter. So whether you're in my life, that's a gift and if you're not, I'm okay. Okay, so a good, a good, a warning that is good would be I'm secure. Bad insecure. Okay, that's good. What do you have for that? So the question actually, so the person that wrote and we divided into two questions for you, the warning flags for bad and the signs for good. You have to have things in common. You have to have faith in common. You have to have, you have to have some things that are in common interests. You don't have to be, you can be opposites. The opposites attract thing is fine, but you have to have some really important things in common. You have to be able to laugh together and there has to be growth. I think those are all things that are good. And I always used to say that like the thing I knew about Tim, I knew that we were meant to be together. It wasn't that I couldn't see myself living with Tim. I couldn't see, oh, I can see a future with him. I couldn't see a future without him. Oh, that's good. And that was like, this is how I knew it was good. I think the world is so divided, people are so divided. So I think there has to be some moral absolutes that you find in common with each other. What do you say? Yeah, Alan and I are opposites, I would have to say. And I don't know that whether I was attracted to it or not, he's very intelligent and I think that might be what I was attracted to first. And he cooks. And he cooks. Hey cat, high five, yeah. Okay, her husband does too. But when you talked about anger, I didn't know this about my husband till afterwards. He doesn't like get angry about everything. Like I try to arouse. He's angry. By bringing up subjects. So what I thought was thoughtful friction leads to growth. It's a thoughtful friction. We can get angry, but finally we get to the issue. As I said before, the ax laid to the root. We get to the issue. So I like thoughtful friction. I don't mind friction. I'm a lawyer. It's good. It's healthy. You get to the truth. You understand that early. But in your life you have to be, you have to accept it. So this thoughtful, this way, I'm going to prefer you first. I want to get to what's wrong, but we're going to duke it out a little bit. In a positive way. We're not going to hurt each other. Emotionally or physically. And it leads to growth. I like it. And when you get growth, it's exciting. It is. Tiffany, do you have a good sign, either of you, a good sign? I would say pushing you to the Lord. Equally yacht. Like it equally. I was thinking how blessed Alan, Tim, George and JR that they have you in their life. Oh. And Bob. Yeah, that's right. That's right. He's a blessed man. Yeah. He is a blessed man. You're a blessed brother and brother. This is serious. He's your best friend. He's all my best friend. Hey, I can't believe that. You're friends. She has no fire, so it's all. The show has totally gone out of my control. The only thing I get to do on a regular basis is say, we'll be right back to wrap this thing up. We had so much fun today on sister to sister and we talked all about relationships and love. And you know what? We love each other here on sister to sister. I'm so thankful for my sisters and the love that we share. But you know what? You cannot talk about love without sharing the scripture of the love chapter. And that is 1st Corinthians 13, 13 versus four through seven. Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast. It is not proud. It does not dishonor others. It is not self seeking. It is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. And if you're in a relationship, I would challenge you to put your name in that verse and just do a little test. Is Corey patient? Is Corey kind? Does Corey envy? Does Corey boast? Put your name in there. Can you say those things? Give yourself a little test and see if you pass that test. Of course we're not going to be perfect, but maybe that's a challenge for you today with your spouse or with a friend and see if you are showing the kind of love that is described in God's word. And you know who will never let you down. Whose love is unconditional and perfect is God. God's love is perfect. And the verse that comes right after this section on verse eight is love never fails. And God's love will never fail. If you want to know the kind of love that never fails, I would encourage you to call today. We have people 24 seven waiting to talk to you. If you want to know about a love that never fails, God's love never fails. And we have people that can talk to you about God's love or if you just have a prayer request that you want to share, give us a call today and someone will talk to you. That is such a good thing. We also end with this scripture every week on sister to sister. And it goes like this, as iron sharpens iron, so does the countenance of a man or a woman sharpen the other. And then I always add, you see family, these girls make me a much better Cathy. And just the Corinthians prayer, that's the wedding prayer, that's the love chapter. We're so glad that you're with us today for our love show. And we will see you next time. We are sister to sister.