 Oh, if you really want to step it up, you should put broken glass in your fleshlight. Oh, we live, Matt. Yeah, broken glass. Is it? Is it live? Is it number 14 of the mighty Michael, fully actual podcasts are coming right out? Yeah, come right out. Yeah. And let me just start off by saying don't swear. Can't, can't, can't. No, claila la la la la la la la la la la. I wouldn't have sworn if you didn't ask me not to. Oh, claila la la la. I was going to say claila la la la. Oh, fuck, you ruined it. I was just, can you do claila la la la? My, Matt? Claila la la la. No, I want to hear Marty say one. Claila la la la la la la la la la la la la la la. We guys are feeling very shit today. All right, nearly canceled it. Nearly woke up and thought, no. But we've pushed through. We even filmed a website video today, a slingshot video. That was sucked. Now fever's high. He's so sick. He's got some sort of cold. He's so sick. So he's been going about his day. So just bear with us. It's probably not going to be the high energy. But anyway, just sit back and enjoy the show, everyone. Because we got some news. Claila la la la la la la la la. Yeah. Claila la la la la la la la la la. Claila la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la. Claila la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la. And so this that's our intro music now. OK, back. We don't really have much shit taught. What do we do on the weekend? Yeah, well I had a weekend of lying around Eating bad food and just relaxing and let me tell you it was lovely But I am sick as a dog's breast breast foot now, man Breast foot out now, man. I went for a rain walk with Amber Never been on a rain walk fucking rain is so annoying brown town. Oh my god You love it. Don't you look I've ever had you love the rain you borrow on the ground and you build your little And shit in the muddy soft dirt. It's easier on your fingernails You can dig down further in a shorter amount of time I did a city walk like a wombat. We should fucking do a walk try and do an experiment. Let's go out tonight Let's go out to the nightclubs remember that's how easy it used to be. Oh, that's how easy it used to be we'd be sitting around Saying nothing and watching a game of halo or something and then all of a sudden Call of duty and then we'd be like, should we go out tonight and then bang We'd be out on the town Destroying our bodies well and like they'd always be a couple of plants ripped out. Oh, we did some terrible things We were young and dumb. Well We got arrested for that. That's what you guys did. I remember Henry in the Middle of the valley pulling plants out and throwing them down China town. Oh I'm running around. Yeah, I have memories of him. What were we just talking about? Oh, yeah, we would go out But don't you think Matt? He looks like yeah, I was going on a rain walk in there But it was very good. Don't you think that Marty looks like Hobart? I Don't know who Hobart is. It's just like my name is Hobart. Don't you get that? Isn't it Tasmanian? Beautiful is that for everyone listening on Spotify? I look like I'm dressed like I should be called Hobart That's what Michael is saying. It's beautiful. Is that why you all clean and shit? It's like very rain forest came to this is a fucking shit shit talk man Let's put out put our minds at rest and get into the sponsors Do loo loo loo loo loo Our first very first sponsor. Oh man scapes. Are you a fucking hairy dirty? Single piece of shit in his mid to late 30s. You can't fucking find a girlfriend If you answered yes to that then go to manscape.com Because they've got all the tools that you need to make yourself pass as a five out of ten instead of your Ungroomed two out of ten self once you buy the stuff you use our discount code Fully actual 20 for 20% off Okay, and then you go out into the world and you find yourself a five or a six or a seven Don't shoot too high though because that area is littered with disappointment. We need to stay where we can okay? So maybe a seven look maybe an eight a tops with the man scape products, but don't shoot too high All right, use manscaped and then aim above what you are But let's not get ridiculous not heaps 20% off manscape.com. They will make you a better man and do you want to be a better man women use it, too Bullshit. Yep There you go. That's opened a whole new paragraph of doors now We're walking down a book and now that we have women and men All shaving their breasts You can get hair there Have you seen that before? Harry breasts If anyone out there have seen Harry breasts send a picture of them to Matt Brown one one one ones Instagram He wants to see Harry breasts. Why only if they're Harry, please No Do you not have any chest hair? I have none. I don't think His name is over Anyway, that's manscaped right fully actual 20s in discount code now time for our number one sponsor and the sponsor that makes the world turn round The University of Markle right where we post 30 to 40 minute videos weekly It's got extended versions of all of our pranks and behind-the-scenes shit plus one video that we don't dare post to social media It's so fucked up. There's so much pain blood gore and fucked up shit on there You won't even want to look at yourself in the mirror. You'll be so filled with shame Why don't you have a look for free at the content and see what you think about it 21 day free trial Okay, you can look watch all 200 videos probably in that time Space and then you just get out of it. Okay, you cancel without paying any money But if you like the content then I highly suggest you stay because man We've got a little community going and we speak to everyone in the Facebook group Yeah, they are good people. We have some good times even like she's in they make my day sometimes even Matt Brown talks to them sometimes Usually the females. Yeah, they're really really pretty females. I talked to the guys, too Yeah, well, yeah, there was a boy. There was a boy once let's talk about it, but What else has happened? I chatted with Ethan Matt got a my my date from last week He's actually a bit of a legend. Yeah, I fucking told you dude You fucking blew him off far too quickly. Have you fucked him yet? No, but he looks like Richard Ramirez, which scares me What's that mean? He's a serial killer. Really? That's naughty. So there you go Well, you should you like should we next time we go out for dinner and shit? Should we bring him along month of years awkward? We'll go bowling. No double date us too and you and Ethan Holy shit, and we'll just act like bros. You don't even have to kiss him And if the if it's comfortable towards the end then you've ruined it If you want, yeah, you can like we were working towards something special and now you've just ruined it Now I don't want anything Cameron. He would he's a good guy. He's names like Cameron. His name's Ethan same It is the same thing. It's exactly the same name. If you write it down on a piece of paper It's the word for word word. It's the same word Yeah, Cameron can come we'll act cool and then at the end me and Marty will kiss to sort of make it Okay for you guys to feel like it's fine No, I reckon it'd be fun. We can play spin the bottle But it's just pecking on the lips. Yeah, and like just to get us all comfortable And he gets to help you bowl like he sort of stands behind you and pushes your hand so you bow I'm glad you control the shot. Then you control one of his hands. I went bowling with greg Oh, bullshit. Oh my god. I've got news. I wanted to save this So I've got news about your dad too. Um, yeah, I went bowling with my dad greg I saw him at the supermarket like last fuck off. You saw my dad conversation with No, seriously, we were by low. You don't even know what he looks like. Why would he be a by low? That's some low economic piece of shit Oh Sorry, he's upper class worse. Well, there is no such thing as by low anymore. So I tested you and you know you passed But yeah, I didn't see your dad, but I wish I'd he will I will find I was gonna surprise you with something with him But now I'm no I want more greg shit. I'm gonna hiss at your father when I see him Matt will do meth as well, everyone Matt will do meth for a thousand dollars I'm not gonna do math from that. We will do it. He will be known as Matthew So you don't feel like guilty like you're the only one. I'm not gonna feel guilty either way I'm not gonna do it just a bit so it doesn't really affect you that much For grand Maybe we keep we keep making him think about it Let's just let's just leave it let leave it until the time is right until All the stars of a line and then we can spring it on him when he's had a few drinks or he's fucking On holidays and he's not in this environment, right? Yeah. Yep. I reckon. Yeah, we'll get it It is fair to say that Matt will do meth in less than a year. Matthew. It's not gonna happen. Have you done meth before? Sort of accidentally We did. Yeah, but can you tell me that story? We have many times Oh, I saw the ringworm some people wanted to like us to retell some stories So like maybe we can retell story. I saw also some people saying. Yeah, they don't want us to go on the stories Because they've just listened to a season one for all of our story time stories. All right There's it's probably up to like we probably had like what 20 good stories guys do us a favor if those episodes From season one out there Let us know in the comments because we're not sure what's been deleted and what's still there And I ain't I ain't going around and looking man. I can't be fucked Amen Amen of that baby. All right, let's move along. Okay. We've done sponsors by the way everyone Highly contagious Yeah, we've been seeing me all day. We've been seeing the comments flying up last week 1.1k That's fucking awesome. And I think I know why if you are unaware of this We have a competition running. We're at the end of the season We will pick one comment from the entire season. All right. Did we say two people? Two the cow will win one from the best comment of the whole season and one from random Yeah, that's one Michael's one from random. Okay. All right, so one any comment you could comment It doesn't doesn't matter what you say It doesn't matter what you say you add a fucking full stop can win All right, we're gonna pick it random. So just comment on this video on any video from this season And you could win a thousand dollars man. That's crazy, which we'll announce in episode 40 Man, I'm so hard today It's good. Michael. Did you see the new? Oh, it's open now. Oh yuck. Be careful It's over now the old milk is open. Maybe get that away from the equipment Okay, dude, you need to fix that. It's gonna leak ever and smell like shit. I think it's just gonna stay there. I've had enough That's my table. I want my table the way it is. Please I want a bit of milk Anyway, um, yeah comment and shit. All right come on if you've seen empire records I reckon this is our best episode we've ever done. All right smell the milk already on this day What are we doing for the prank call again? Oh, we've got a list All right, we'll get to it Also, we're gonna trial a new segment today everyone. So On this day in 1997 Justin Timberlake made a skin bomb A skin bomb is just like a normal bomb with layers upon layers of skin wrapped around it Then when it's detonated the skin explodes out and slaps onto its surroundings It's a weapon that just stuns its victims and doesn't kill them He would harvest the skin from dead people and people whose skin was peeling off after sunburn Justin still has the skin bomb sitting in his room It's as big as a fridge and Justin says he uses it for protection against foxes and thieves That is actually really good a skin bomb So it's just like a little bomb like a softball sized bomb with Huge amount of skin around it. Would you eat my skin, Matt? As you come buck it coming along, bitch Too many questions. How much I'd give you a grand, but you have to do meth first Met so you have to see if there's two separate sheets of like sunburnt thigh skin like this long You won't be able to get sheets of something. Yeah, I can't It's like a snake head like skin. All right, well if you collect it And this is gonna be skin at the same time. It's gonna be separate. You can't combine these things All right, well 1500 for the both together No, because I don't want to do a lot of doing meth. I don't want to freak myself out I'll do it on the podcast though because that one should turn into some other drug completely mixing them together Yeah, Michael's skin is a whole new drug Yeah, well we can try it All right, we got Michael's fucking Bible coming up Dude, do you want to read it? Is Michael gonna read it? Yeah. I'll have a read of this one. Yeah, Michael's Michael writes them It's time that he starts reading them. His voice needs to reach the hearts Has Michael seen the new Obi-Wan Kenobi trailer? Oh, dude This will make sense now for what you said earlier. Yeah, go for it Michael's Bible This is Michael writes his daily teachings in a bible and is reading an excerpt out of it for those who Don't know what these like Buddha and shit like that if having different points of view is important Open debate is critical My ears hear hear Cows are the cutest animal in the world to me and I fucking love them more than most things Except for amber addition is adding and mortal combat movies are really shit They are up there with marvel superhero bullshit back that track back Track back up repeat it up Lelele When you are really laughing you are in the actual moment not sorry Sorry Oh, man, that one really touched my heart. That's powerful Actually cried Yeah, that was some powerful shit, man Oh, man electric shock Holy shit, that was electric. All right. Sure. We have a quick bong break everyone And then we'll get into the Fucking black book and then we do bachelor brown So Gary do you want to be staying for these next two segments? I'll tell you where to come from Did you say you had to do the bachelor brown by five? Yeah, I messaged her and it's all good at six All right Next fuck. I really I just it's hard to work myself up for this segment this segment. It's like seeing seeing some of the most Disgusting Inner creations inside of the mind of the world's most predatory Beast do you have PTSD? I'm getting it. Sorry. This is where I read out one of matt brown's Written entries In the book where he records in great detail all of his sex throughout his entire life or his haaaves This is matt brown's black book Oh Oh, hello. All right already. I feel heavier. I feel like I'm being watched as I touch the book Oh, like a spirit. Oh, man. It's like it's heavy on me. You're carrying the victims Here we go. Oh, there's weight on my chest There's flour in the backing Now before I start, um, if this is the first time hearing this last week, um, so it happened that, um, matt brown was caught Uh, masturbating in public and he's been arrested. Okay. That's the latest from fucking the rats Having sex with the rats. Dude people are not gonna episode number 14. So this is have number 51 I sat in silence in the back of the paddy wagon The handcuffs were digging into my meaty wrists so deeply that my fingers were beating like 10 hearts This was one of the lowest points of my life having just been rejected by the sexiest girl I'd ever dated And then being caught by a bus full of kids violently threading street rats onto my vascular squirt tube until I ejaculated My mind was racing at how I was going to get out of this one I considered escaping but realized that I would have to live the rest of my life as a fugitive There may be more opportunities to escape. So I decided that for now I would follow the legal process We arrived at the watch house and I was uncuffed and thrown into a cell I culled up in a tight ball in the corner of the jail But kept one eye on the other inmate I puffed my body up to appear much larger than I actually am and if anyone got too close I would flutter my gills at them In the morning I was put in front of a judge for violent sexual acts in public I'm setting bail at $10,000 if you cannot pay you must remain in jail for seven days until your trial starts I shit my nappy. I was in total shock things were going from bad to worse and I wept and wept I was transported to prison and thrown in a cell my cellmate was a small quiet thin man He stayed on his bunk and never spoke or even made eye contact with me as I sat on my bunk bed I heard the chatter of the other inmates I heard them talking about fresh meat and pink flesh and large steak and soft fat and baby men So I knew they were going to pick on any new inmates including myself I knew what I had to do tomorrow I had to establish myself as an alpha A calmness flooded over me and I molested myself I squeezed my fruit and felt my warm lumpy sack spread in bulge in my hand Then I slowly drifted to sleep I was woken by my cell doors opening We formed a line and headed to the cafeteria for breakfast I made sure to hang towards the back of the line While I was waiting in line for the food I scanned the inmates for the biggest toughest looking inmate Then I saw him sitting at the head of a table huge seven foot man Bald with tattoos completely covering every square inch of his body He had a scar across his face and muscles bulging He was kind of hot and I caught myself wondering how big his dick might be I finally got my food and nervously looked up Sweat beaded down my tits and I my breathing quickened I slowly made my way towards the huge hot inmate I sat all the way down the other end of the table trying to blend in as much as I could After a few minutes of picking up my food and not making eye contact with anyone I started sliding off my chair and going under the table Success I remained undetected and was completely under the table I started crawling towards the other end of the table I moved carefully and exactly like a cat My body twisted and bent around the legs of the other inmates quickly and efficiently I made it to the other end of the table and my target inmate was now directly in front of my face I loosened my jaw and locked my eyes on his crotch I prepared my hands and coiled my neck back so it was spring loaded Then bang! In one motion my hand ripped his pants and underwear down And my mouth shot forwards like a striking snake His massive flaccid dick slides down my throat and his juicy plump balls fill my mouth The inmate looks down in horror We lock eyes for a split second Then I bite down as hard as I can It felt like slow motion My teeth split through the cock skin and glide through the shaft flesh My bottom row of teeth shoots up and enters his juicy ball bag And meets my upper row of teeth in the middle I pull away with his severed junk still in my mouth The inmate shrieks in pain and grabs at his flat patch where his cock used to be Huge amounts of blood sprayed out all over me and my skin absorbed it Like a massive tampon I stood explosively and broke through the table from underneath I spat the cock and balls at the shrieking inmate and my head started spinning I projectile vomited continuously while my head spun Covering every other inmate at the table The inmate scatted, screaming at what they were seeing My head stopped spinning just as a fish smashed into my teeth One of the other inmates had snuck up on me and King hit me. I fell back in blood, started running down my face and throat immediately. I was dazed, but started trying to stand. Suddenly, another inmate tackled me from behind and spear tackled me head first into the ground. He pinned me and started punching my head. I was losing consciousness so I managed to slip my point of finger up his ass. The feeling shocked him and he jumped off of me. A security guard ran at me and I pulled down my pants. I grabbed the security guard and flipped him around. I entered him from behind. I wanted the other inmates to see. I screamed with every pump. Even the other security guard stopped and one of them started throwing up. Mint burst through my sack dam and gushed into the security guard as I felt prongs from a taser shooting to my back. The electric shock stiffens me and I fall to the ground and I am swarmed. What a success. Surely now everyone will see that I am not to be messed with. King Brown! I scream as they take me away. Brown! Oh my god, you didn't see it being a security guard. You thought it'd be like at least one of the inmates. Well I guess he got to third base with that inmate by putting his cock down his throat. Oh that was holy shit that's like a real big journey. It seems like you've made your situation worse Mr Brown. Let's not talk about it because you obviously know what happened but yeah it's gonna get crazy isn't it? Well I like how it's cool. It's cool to read him in order now. Yeah I'm gonna read him in order. King Brown. I'll do it for a few and see how we fucking go. I mean I will read them like that for a few, see how we go and if it's shit we'll just go back to the... Matt I'll go back to randomly picking them out of his black book. King. Shut up. Brown. Shut up. Oh man. Very good. I was genuinely like that hurt my stomach at point. Really? Yeah. I thought it was a bit slow though on that one. When he was spinning around vomiting blood. What did you think about that one Matt? It's my favorite part. Sorry. I was there. Yeah but what did you think about the way you wrote that? It's very well written. It's good. Very good ground. Oh god baby. All right well let's move on to... He's right behind you. He's always behind you. He's right fucking behind you. Turn around. There he is. He's got you. He's got you now. And this is a segment where Mark and I hand select future partners potential mates for Matt. And we set up a phone date with them. Matt has never met these people. Michael and I doing it because Matt Brown is having such trouble finding a partner for life. Matt will marry three by the end. He's fucking nearly 40 years old or something. I'm 30 now. He's just turned to more than 35. He's just fucking... He's been single for 15 years or so. I've been single for like six months. And his choice in women has been far from up to scratch. So we're here to help Matt. You're fucking welcome. Can't... You got christened, Rhys. You are so welcome. Can't lie. Last week I was not welcomed. You guys. All right let's do this. Let's do this. Baptized. Hang on. This is... Tell me. Let's just get it over and done with. What? Nothing. So is it a girl or a guy? It's a girl. What's her name? Robin. Well, I think it's a girl. Oh, Robin. Robin. Pitcher was of a girl and Robin is a girl's name. She's awesome. All right. Here we go. Everyone stay fresh. Why am I nervous? Yeah, I'm nervous too for you this time. Hello. Is this Robin? Hello. Hey, Robin. You are on the Marty and Michael fully actual podcast. And we have you sitting right here next to us. We have Michael and of course the very excited, the plump, puffed up, excited red man that is Matthew Brown. And we're going to leave it to you guys. We're going to leave it to you guys to get to know each other a little bit. Yeah, you know, get to know each other. Find out about each other's lives. So pass it to you, Robin. What do you want to ask him? Oh my god. I'm astruck. It's hard, isn't it? Put your right on the spot. That was just crazy. We are. We are wild. Come on, Matt. Say something, Matt. Kiss her. I thought Robin was asking me. Oh my god. She's clearly struggling. You've got to pick it up. Use initiative. She hang up. Be proactive. We've lost Robin. We've lost Robin. She's thought that we'll swear at her. Oh, she's like, fuck this. Man, you've got to fucking talk more, man. I'm scared. Do you love her? Yeah. Sorry. It was just a bit like, sorry. Just kind of caught me off guard a little bit. I know, Robin. I know. It's tricky. Just remember, if you don't like anything that's happening, we can just cut that. Don't swear. If I might feel comfortable with all the screaming and stuff. Yeah, yeah. You're right. Look, we're going to settle it right down now, Robin. She's such a bitch. I told you. I told you your screaming isn't helpful. Yeah, look. It's not for everyone, all right? I'm just trying to motivate you, Matt. Please face the ground, gentlemen. All right. Well, off you go, Matt. Well, off you go, Matt. You want to carry the conversation? Off you go. Come on. How are you, Matt? Hey, Robin. How are you? I'm okay. It's been a busy day at the office. It's been a busy day. Why has it been so busy? You know. How was your day? It was busy. I wish I could tell you about it. Where are you from originally? I swear I've seen you before, like before this. You've seen me? In person. I'm sure I have, yeah. Where are you from? Oh, in person. Melbourne originally, but now I live in Sydney. Oh, geez. I don't know. Maybe there's another Matt Brown. Maybe. I do quite a few trips with work to Brisbane and stuff like that, though. So, you know, next time, there's your life, but still a bit away. But, you know, if we can get things going nice, then hopefully when I'm up there, we can catch up. He said, huh? Say something like that. Are you guys currently filming or is this like a pre-recorded thing? No, this is where... But we can cut things. Well, it's not live. Oh, okay. I was just very shy and didn't know what to say. I was just very shy. Ah! Shoulder. Don't worry. Don't worry. Yell it out. I'm glad to hear. I'm glad to hear. I'm glad to hear. This is one of my girlfriends here as well, though. They can't believe this. Yell out, bitch. Well, you're sitting there with some goats. Bitch! Say that. You're sitting there with a bunch of other girls. No, there's two of my girlfriends here. I live with one of them and the other one's just here having dinner. I just didn't know what time... I'm not sure how I feel about the language. Michael. Dude, stop swearing, Matt. Sorry, that was Matt. Oh, really? I didn't sound like Matt. Stop fucking swearing, Matt. Matt, stop fucking swearing. We can hear a couple still flicking around. I think it's your penis. Did you hear that? I think it's your penis. She asked... Oh, man. She asked some sexy shit. She wants to know how big. I'm going to let her move in. How big is your penis, Matthew? Like five-way six inches? Are we looking... Hello? Oh, there we go. Oh, we got you, Matt. All right. So sorry about that, Roman. Some technical issues. You're really fucking irritating. Yeah, yeah. Sorry about that, Roman. All right. Back to Matt Brown. Time it hangs up. Please don't call me back if it hangs up again. He's running. Fucking over. All right, this is the last chance. Say something hot, Matt. What do you guys do? You like stand girls up and just go around and just prowl on young women and just try and get them for your entertainment or something? Where's Matt? Matt? Fucking hell. Matt, you should say sorry. Matt, say sorry. Embarrassing me now. I just feel like I've been put on show. Like this is just some evil ploy to embarrass little old Robin and I'm fucking over it. Matt, I apologize. Robin, we are sorry, Matt. Matt, can you please fucking... No, I'm done. I'm out. Fuck you, Robin. Fuck you, bitch, Robin. Oh, say it. It's Jackson. It's Jackson. No clue. He had no clue that was Jackson. Yeah, wow. He did that very well. Oh, that was so fun. It wasn't until he started cracking the shit. So I was like, that's not a fucking chick. That is the best thing I've ever had to do in my life and I've had heaps of moments. Oh, Jackson. Jackson. I thought you might have known at the beginning, but you didn't. Oh, my God, that was genuine. Dude, that saved the podcast. I can't... We just made the best podcast ever. You could have kept that going if you didn't crack the shits. I was like, oh, hang on. But we should have hung up and been like, man, fuck that, bitch. I didn't know how long you guys wanted to keep going for and then I was like fucking... I was just going to try and test my limits and after I got angry, I was going to start cracking the shit and talk about being like previously abused and shit. Dude, you did that so well. I was getting really dark. Oh, my God. At the beginning, I was like... I fully forgot because he takes me before I literally was in the middle of the gym just working out, like he's like Marty's calling me like, fuck. Oh, true. Fuck. Well, thanks for taking the call today. Going to the gym. Very good. Very good. Very well done, Jackson. I can't believe we got Mr. Brown. See you, dude. I'm very happy. That was so wonderful. He did that. He did that like... He did that really well. Yeah, we did have a go, but we're like, fuck it. Jackson replied to our story and we're like, fuck. That was good. Man, he were flirting a little bit earlier today. So... There you go. That was so funny. Did you think that was a real go? I had to start. No, no, no. I had to start. I was like, oh, it's a real chick. And then as soon as the sound started fucking up, I was like, and I could hear it going off. I was like, that's a fucking dude. I reckon it sounded very convincing at the start. I was totally convinced. Oh, damn, man. That's crazy. Oh, we've got... So Marty calls. We're going to call Locky again later. You've got to be careful with these buttons here. You hit these as you... As I was attacking me. Hey, man, it could have been either of us. We just don't know. I know. All right. The new segment this week is called lying to Locky. Everybody. I kind of wish that that was a real chick going off. I was ready to start being such a cunt. Matt. No, you were in love. You're a lovely gentleman. Thank you. Dude, Jackson is pretty hot. If there's any girls out there that want to have a phone date with Matt Brown, DMS, the Marty and Michael account will set that up for you. We are flying the three's three top finalists at the end of the season into the studio. All expenses paid. Travel trip. You can watch the season finale and just hang out with Matt. And the winner gets $1,000. Three-way marriage with another girl. The winner gets $1,000. You will marry her in the second. Don't tell anyone. He's going to have $1,000. That's right. We will pay you to date Matt Brown. We're not going to do that. Yes. That's what we're fucking doing. You will have to marry him. No one's coming. Look, we've got Nord. Nord sponsors will start having a kid with him. Dude, you're breaking someone's heart. You have to have a kid with one of them. No. Someone might actually like me. Yeah, exactly. And I won't like them. And you're going to break their heart. No, look, if it doesn't work out, that's fine. The winner? But if you both the opportunity, that's why you pick your favorite, the most likely that you'll get along with, and then we bring you two together. Do you understand? No. This is how making love works. You do work with the winner. We're like your Chinese parents. No. And it's an arranged marriage. No. That's it. That's exactly it. You can't do that. We can't get one. We're not just us. We might. No, that's what happens. Isn't it Indians that do that? As he said, all cultures. You're now getting way off top. Anyway, you will marry who we pick. No. Why? You can't force me to marry someone. No, of course not. But we can't put you in the perfect scenario with someone that you are incredibly compatible with. How is it the perfect scenario? Just do math. A dating environment, a dating environment where you both know what you're there for. You're there to get to know each other. You're there to get on a deeper level. You're there to connect physically, emotionally, and spiritually, and possibly fall in love. And do math. That's what you're there for, Matt. Moving on to our next segment, lying to Lachlan. Lachlan. We're just going to see what happens here. We're going to call Lachlan Gottfried. You all know who Lach is. If you don't, he's just a mate of ours. He's like a fucking, he's just a little legend. He's just a fucking little legend. And we're always fucking with him. And yeah, let's just see what happens. But what should we lie to him this week? Like, I thought we'd call, say that he's dad's dead, but he'd believe straight away that that's a lie. Something sort of half believable. It's raining. We'll tell him it's raining. No, what about like, dude, please? Oh, he won't. You're going to have to help me on this. Yeah, he'll leave me. All right. He's going to know it's on the podcast. It's we attempt to lie. Okay, we don't need to. Hello. Hey, dude, what's going on? So much, mate. What's going on? We're just planning filming a fucking camping weekend. Yeah. And we're thinking about maybe this weekend or next weekend. Are you available? Do you want to come? It's probably just going to be for one night and we'll probably just be in the hinterlands. What night are you about? What do you reckon, Michael? Will you go Saturday? Yeah, Saturday. Shall we go Saturday night? I think I'm going to be home. I've got Jeremy's birthday on Saturday night. All right. We'll fucking Friday night then. Can't. Yeah, I can do Friday night. All right. Perfect. All right. This. We're just catching. Have you been to Yamba, dude? Have you been to Yamba? Not where's Yamba? It's like northern New South Wales. It's a bit of a drive. Like it's like three hours. But like fucking amazing camp spots. Rock cliffs like you can jump off. We were like literally trying to plan to do a camping thing for a video. Yeah, let's do it. Yeah. Let's just get the fucking crew together and we'll bloody fill up the four wheel drives and we'll fucking head to Yamba and we'll get a camp space and set up. They've got the best. Is that where they're big weather food when they're one time? Yeah. Yeah. It's the best cliff jumping like in the world. In the world. No, in Australia. No, I'd say the world. It's like a fluttered mine shaft next to the beach. You'll love it, dude. It's so fun. How long are we going for? It's like a 12-meter drop. Just one night so far, I reckon. Oh, fuck yeah. We're sick of spots. Are you actually down to... Yeah, I'm not cutting. Have you guys got a tent? I've got a plan. I'm going to have to beat you up and buy like a fucking stick one. Okay. Yeah, you should definitely... What do you call it? Yeah, I'm going to rent an RV. Huh? I'm going to rent an RV. Yeah, rent an RV then. Oh, dude, that'd be such a good idea. Yeah, we'll rent an RV and that'll make it easier, I reckon. So I've got a... I've got a hard birthday on Saturday. So I'll come back to that. I'm going to come back. All right. Well, yeah, well, should we change it to next weekend so we can stay there for two nights? Oh, let's do next weekend. That piece went off. All right, well, perfect then. We'll go next weekend, Friday and Saturday? Yeah, well, yeah, next weekend. Because I'm moving on Friday. Do you reckon your dad would be able to come locky just to create like that old guy sort of mentality? I don't know, I can help you. Dude, I'd love that. I miss him. Let's get fucking shitloads of pingas, too, I reckon. No, one night we'll do pingas. No, it'd be so funny. Just pingas and cliff jumping. Oh, my God. Oh, it does sound funny. I wish we weren't lying now. So you're not actually on camping? No, no, we're not. Sorry, Lucky, it's a prank call. We got a new segment. It's not even a prank call. We just got a new segment. It says lying to Locky. Yeah, nothing. It's called nothing, Lucky. And you just got bamboozled, bitch. What's your reaction to that? I'm going to fucking yammer next weekend. I think he still goes. Stay home in your miserable fucking house. I'm going camping. Maybe we should go camping soon. We will, yeah, I want to. Actually, we are going. So if you're down, it's happening. All right, sweet, let's lock it in. All right, sweet. All right, we'll call you legitimately after this, all right? Yeah, bamboozled. Like, actually buy a tent and shit. Get an RV still, no matter what. I'll buy a tent and an RV. All right, I'll drive the RV there. We'll see you soon. Sorry. That's so fun. Oh, I got better. Everybody's like, oh, yeah, he's going to be sick. And then Jack's like, I'll buy a tent. He'll be there. I hope that's like a good time. And then it's not even real. We're not coming. Anyway, let us know what lies you want us to tell Locky. And like we can just call it lying. We don't have to lie to just Locky. Yeah, we can. Let's do one to Greg. What should we do to Greg? Just comment lies and to who you think we should call. Like he's just texting me. I fucking love camping. You can't. I was so excited for pingers and clip jumping. We spoke his dream. That does sound perfect. And he's now like, it's not happening. It does sound good. And so fucked up. When you're like going to Yamba. Yeah, we got two people in one. Yeah, we're going to Yamba. That was fun. Anyway, guys, onto some questions. Now, if you want us to answer your questions, just comment on the fully actual YouTube channel. We read out the questions with the most likes. So have a scroll through a like, which questions you want us to answer and comment all your questions. We'll answer as many as we can, baby. Sorry, man, do you want to start with cow? Yeah. More questions, please. So before we begin the normal questions, we've got our cow segment. And right here, we have our high tech, very high production comment of the week board where we stick all of the comments that have won the comment of the week so far this season. We cut them out and we stick them on the board, right? This is any comment could win cow, by the way, any comment that we like. So just comment random shit. It's a fucking love reading that comment section. It's full of hilarious shit because of people trying to get the cow and just people saying it's weird shit. So comment your questions and comment for the cow. Money, whoo, it's crazy. Move. Bong broke. Oh, man, that was honestly a good time. I've been having some great times with you. See? I've been having great times with you guys. Oh, wow. Is that comfy? It's flalala. It's flalala. Fly. Clalala. Clalala. Clalala. Clalala. Oh man. Bosley. All right, everyone, we're back and now it's time for the question of wands. Cow. Cow. Yeah. Question of the comment of the week. Comment of the week went to Liam Kennedy. Liam Kennedy, congratulations. You know in the running one and 39 chance to win $1,000 and you're going to go on our board and be immortalized forever. Comment of the week went to Liam Kennedy. Liam Kennedy, you are now in the running one and 39 chance to win $1,000 and your comment is going to go on the cow wall and be immortalized forever. Your comment is why isn't Matt Brown Brown? Is what? I'm starting to think he isn't really who he says he is. Now, I reckon the best part of this sentence or whatever that thing is a comment is the double word on Brown. Brown. Brown. Brown. Brown. Why you can double up Brown and make sense of it? That's fucking cool. I'm starting to think Brown isn't Brown. Isn't back in the day your last name was what your profession was like Baker and like fucking and what is Brown? What is doing? And how dare your dad be called Greg? Brown is an ideology. It's like you guys just want the most common names at all times in your name. What's your middle name? What is it? You know what it is? It's like Greg. It's fucking Gregory. Matt Brown. Your middle name is your dad's name. You laughed at this like 10 episodes ago. You fucking stoner. Wait, your middle name is your father's name. Yeah. So your father's just giving you his name but put a real common other name at the front of it. It's like Matt Greg Brown. Yeah. What the fuck? You can't do that. Matt Greg Brown. That's three separate things. The three separate things are Matt, Greg and Brown. Yeah. Holy shit. You've just given three weird first names. What's, well, what is your father's middle name? Sure, it's not Matt. Greg Matt Brown. What is it? Do you know? Yeah. Tell me what is it? David or something. Yeah, it is. No, it's not David. It's like John. John. Yeah. What do you mean it's like John? Greg John Brown. I'm trying to think what it is. I'm pretty sure it's John. It's not Greg John Brown. It's Gregory John. That is better than Matt Greg Brown. No, it's Gregory John. Gregory John. Gregory John. It's Greg. His friends call him Greg. He's Greg John Brown. Yeah, you're right. It is Greg, I guess. Greg's, they're sure. Gregory. It's a Gregory. That is a Greg. It should be a rare name, Greg. It should. Well, I think it's like for some slightly older people, no one would now name their baby Greg. If you know all your baby Greg now, it doesn't even sound like a name. It sounds like it's like a noise. It's like you couldn't love that baby. Greg. Greg. It sounds like someone calling a baby Greg. It sounds disgusting. Greg. Matt damn Greg. Imagine yelling at Greg. Imagine having a three-year-old girl. Greg, Greg. Called Greg. Anyway, moving on from that is, but that is some, that's some of, that's shocking how bad those names are. That is shit names. That is like a fucking someone's taken the piss. Oh, what's your, what's your- Why so, so lazy? Matt Greg Brown. We should imagine having Greg John Brown. Shut up. That's not real. You need to say sorry for that shit. I reckon you have to say sorry about your dad and you- And your one syllable names. No, imagine having my dad Greg Brown and Greg Smith next to each other. And there's the two most common Greg's there could be. We need to find out what fucking Greg Smith's middle name is. Let's call him. Ask him, just ask him what it is and then hang up. Nah, we'll, we'll find out another time. Oh my. You can't excite me like that. No, we, you need to say sorry for your names. I will when you start coming up with good ideas. I don't think we really want us to say middle name on it. Yeah, I'm a bit scared to say my dad's name. Oh right, so it's not John, it was like John. Yeah. Okay, well that's still fucking nice. That's terrible. You can leave it a mystery for us, but that is still- That's better than your name, Matt Greg Brown. You should be ashamed of yourself. I would consider like I have a fuck's name. What's your dad's name? I can't say. Oh, fucking hell. Fucking hell. I reveal everything, but I can't say. It's like a spell, like black magic or something, his dad's name. You shit on people's backs on the internet and you can't say your dad's name. My father is German, you got your ears won't be able to pick it up. It will cast bad energy and like some like things would start floating in the room. Only other Germans here on that frequency that I say his name on, his name is the different four you can see. So yeah, it would bring bad. Nice time for questions. We're fighting a lot today. We're bickering. Oh, no. We're just sort of saying that your name is- Yeah, your name is- It's not- There's no argument here. Your name is fucked. It really is. But it's okay. It's not okay. But let's just get through the questions. I'm sick of thinking about it. I've seen it on paper. It's disgusting. Should we have a meeting after? Yeah. Down at the- Down at the office we get your names changed. I'll change my name too. Okay. What would you change it to? Brown. What would your last name be? Brown. Brown Brown. Brown Brookhouse sounds nice. Brown Brookhouse. Michael Brown? Michael Brown. Anyway, questions. All right. Top question went to Donut Films, who's been up there a few times in his career of commenting. So Donut Films, his top question it was- Yeah, Donut Films is always some very good questions. It's just on fire. His urine's on the table. I think it- I don't know if we've ever answered this, but his question is what's the cringiest thing you've seen Julian do when he stands up in a nightclub and says tonight's like the last night for the rest of our lives or whatever this is? Yeah, he does those. I like that. I think it's strong. It's pleasant. Yeah, it makes me giggle. I don't know. It's hard. Oh man, he's good at like wrapping in the car. He brings out the most hectic wraps that are fucking sick. And one time he was on a date with a chick and he thought that she was really into him and he lent him to kiss her and she pulled away and said, oh no, no, no, I don't feel like that about you, Julian. And then she left and they haven't been friends since. So that was pretty funny. And yeah, he has done fireworks before. He made his own illegal fireworks and set them off and like the neighbors dogs woke up and shit. So that was pretty cringy too. This question's gone to shit. Next question is from James Kirk Patrick. What hurt most out of a squash ball, a tennis ball or a paintball? I'm going to say paintball. Actually squash ball. It depends. Paintball hurts every single time a lot. Squash ball hurts more sometimes if it hits you in the right spot and the other person has swung as hard as they can. Man, that bruise that I've won squash ball hit you on your belly that I'll never, I swung as hard as I fucking could and hit it flush. And he had a bruise the size of a pineapple on his belly button. Strange, there's so many colors in it. Yeah, it was like the most pretty, it's probably one of the greatest bruises to date to made like a full space. I think we have a top comment on the Facebook video of it. Sorry, which is not so scary. Next question is from anonymous. What is the worst prank you've ever pulled on each other? The worst. The worst. The haircut for me. Yeah, it turned out fine. Yeah, I guess, true. That was nothing. What about you? What's the worst prank you've ever done? Oh, and the waste of money I've done to me. I fucking wasted fucking lots of money. Yeah, I've wasted a lot of money. That's so annoying. I think that's the worst my mind has ever done to you. Yeah, I'm trying to think. What's the worst thing? You put hair removal thing in my hair once, but I don't mind being bald. It suits him. And one day I will just have to accept it. I'm already on the cusp. You got long hair. Yeah, I wear wigs. Join me, brother. I'm over. I've got to be shaving soon, unless I do some surgery or something. Mate, you're way off-shaving. Yeah, you can get some of your back hair put into your head. Would you do that? You get a big scar across the back, though. Growing it out. Why don't you get that? I don't know. I just don't think it's a good idea. I've heard a lot of bald people who get it done and say it's the worst. Like Joe Rogan got it done. And he said it's the worst thing he ever did. Why? Well, one, it left a big scar on the back of his head. And two- There's other ones where they just implant the fucking hair transplants. Yeah, that's what a hair transplant is. Tell us about it in the comments. Yeah, they cut it off the back of your head and they put it on the top of your head. And I think it works a little bit, but it's, I don't know. George Clooney's done it. There's heaps of people. I've seen the ads. He knows it's a lie. Next question. All right. Next question. He's picking them better now. It's from Broderick Morse. Michael, do you enjoy inflicting pain on Marty? I feel like he enjoys it when he inflicts it on you. Oh man, when you can tell Marty's in pain, I do laugh. It just makes me laugh. We did a video today. What hurts the most? Just a slingshot and notice some painful things in there. Grapes are shocking. They linger. The pain lingers. Yeah. There's like a squash ball on him. You know those little Chinese whispers that I throw at you? That also hurts. Burns their skin. Next question is from Dean Moore. Michael, do you ever want any pets in your life besides the rat population? Yeah. No. Why not? Actually, yes. Yeah. I want a cow, a sheep, a llama. Probably one of everything. What about like a dog or a cat? Yeah, one of everything. I've already got a cat. Cat's good. You would buy a dog. No, a cat's better because you can, for now, you don't have to be with it all the time. You don't have to exercise them. I can't, man. Yeah, I'm not much of a cat person. Gypsy's good, dude. Next question, I've already met her. Next question is from Gavin S, capital S. Do you guys prefer eating or pain challenges? That varies because usually we do the eating ones when our bodies need a break. So I like the eating ones more than, but during the eating ones, I think to myself, fuck, I'd rather a ball be struck at me. Would you date Gypsy? No. Who's Gypsy? My cat. Harry. Okay. Next question is from Marco Costello. I'm nailing the names today. Marty, if you could get a successful heart transplant from anyone dead or alive, who's would you take? Lance Armstrong. Wait, who else is there? Stephen Hawking. That's the only one I can think of. The only person right now that I can think of. Stephen Hawking. Oh, yeah. Stephen Hawking's gone. I'll have his one too. Might make me smarter. Did you know that you can hear in your heart, Matt? You can hear in your heart? Yeah, they've got a new device that you can wear around your head. You hear your heartbeat? You hear your heartbeat? Cool. Do you want one? No. So we're getting them sent through for a brand deal because we've got to post the audio of our heart. Guys are lying to me again. Got ya. You've just been bamboozled. Oh, I can't wait to lie in bed. Oh. Next question from Hunter Hart. Would you guys ever hunt each other in the wild for a vid? Yeah, the hunter and the elk is a video that we will be filming soon for the website. We might even be able to do social media for that one. No, we won't because we'll have gel blasters and be shooting each other. Too dangerous. No, it's weapons and that will get deleted from Facebook. This will probably be censored because of this. Would you believe that? Isn't that like fucking just calm down? It's just a gel blaster? Yeah, remember when we got done for you shooting out the car? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, we got a big fat fine for that. I was shooting it out of the car and everyone thought it was a real gun. Yeah, you did drive-bys. All right. Next question is from Richardson's resident. Oh, my God. Shut up. True. True story. After the chili incident, can meth brown ever take part in the pain videos for our entertainment? Yeah, I probably would if I had to. You would do the... Oh, imagine the squash ball on Matt. Oh, it's always so funny seeing people for the first time. In the center of his back? Oh, it would be so nice. There's a moment of panic where it's like, I can't control... This is unbearable right now. And then it quickly fades to a bearable amount of panic. Just. And then it lingers. Trauma, deep trauma. Next question is from Yepse. German boy, I'm a little German boy running around the streets. If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what is it? Cake. No, that's a shit fucking question. We're not even doing that. Come on, let's play along with the game. Let's play along. That's shit. It was like the third highest. Michael's taken offense. Michael's taken offense to it. Okay, I'd have pizza. What, you get fat and die? Okay, I'd have... Shit. Corn. Because then you can just have one. I'd probably have a meat because that probably... Survived longer. Yeah. Let's go ribs. I'd have some ribs. What about if you couldn't... It was non-edible, but you had to eat it. I'd go... I'd skull sand. I'd have cardboard. Do you reckon you could skull sand? You should try it. Can you skull sand? You'd have to just commit. Sorry. I'm sure we've got a glass of water there with you. You could do it. Would you do that, Matt? Oh, man. We could have a sand sculling competition. Builds up and you just become big glass. You have big sand shits. Dry out and die. Anyway, next question. Sorry. Peter Han asked one that I thought was pretty good. He said, question for the podcast. Can James give a throwing tutorial? Yeah, he's a fucking good arm anyway. He has such a good arm. Great all-round athlete. All right, two questions left. Next one is from Dante Spada. What's the one thing you hate the most about social media? The relentlessness of it. You've got to keep making videos. You've got to keep going once you start this career. If you stop for too long, you are gone. So you have to just keep going through all the shit times, through all the hard times. You keep making videos and trying to make them better than they were the next week. You start from zero, day one. Every Monday after you post on Sunday, your life starts again. You have to either try and beat what you did, or you have to try and get more views in the video. You just post it because it was shit. And now people are saying, oh, you guys aren't funny anymore. So we posted three or four shit videos in a row. And that's like, okay, we've got to pull out a banger right now. Well, we're proud to announce that we're doing Top Gun 3. Oh, we are actually commissioned us, and we're going to help write the script for it. Would you do that with us, Matt? Yeah, of course. Okay. That's a line. We might be launching our own line of weed products later this year. Everybody isn't that exciting. And if you want to get high, that's for you. Okay. We're just going to make sure that they're amazing before we sell them. Yeah, we want to test them. We're going to test them out. Is that the end of the questions, Brown? Yeah, I thought that was a good ending. Yeah, that's fine. The last question was pretty average. All right, what do we fucking have to do? All right, let's do fucking PO Box, everybody. This is a segment where we open the things that you guys sent to our PO Box live on the podcast. We get sent human remains. We get sent chilies. We get sent dangerous shit. It's crazy. You never know what's going to happen here, man. If you want to send us something, send it to PO Box, two, five, six, taken, four zero, one eight, Queensland Australia. Sorry. Hopefully that's not contagious. Well, maybe we could be together more if we do get sick. Yeah, that's true. Can't it's good for you. If I get sick, I'll have a day off and I'll come spend it with you. What did you guys get? All right, I'm opening this box. And inside is some sort of... Oh, careful. I don't like the way that's parked. Yeah, some sort of cloth clothing inside and there's something in the clothing, I feel. Yeah, I feel like there's something in there. It could be wrong. It could be someone nice. Well, look, we're always so suspicious, but this is our fans. We should trust them more, you said, looking around at the jars of piss and teeth that they've sent in. Oh, yes. There's a note in there. Oh, yeah. I have a feeling that's going to be... Oh, it's underwear. Oh, bullshit. Yeah, with Julian's face and the crew. That's very good. Can I hold that one up? Yeah, look at this. We got... Thank you. Sorry, we're suspicious of that package. They're all pictures of Julian in the crotch. We have percent underwear, like trunks, and there's a picture of Julian's face right where the dick goes. I'll read out the letter. I'll just be one second. Thank you very much. Whoever sent that, that's great work. All right. Marty and Michael, here is a random gift that I randomly thought of did not turn out how I thought the fucking internet shopping, but still something. Pierce, this was the only pick I could find of Julia on his Facebook. Wear with pride. PPS. Make sure Matthew Brown gets one. Snoochie-Boochie. That's from Dylan. Very good. That's very flat. Thanks, Dylan. That's awesome. Oh, I don't know what's happening. I've lost control. Hey, it's a start. It's a start. It's coming back. They're fucking back. Egg. Oh, wow. Fucking Matt Greg Brown. Now, we got one. The farts struck back. Hailey has sent me a present. Thank you, Hailey. She sent me headphones. Oh, wireless headphones, is it? On-ear wired headphones. Because Michael didn't have his... I don't like the look of the box. It looks like it's been ripped open. Did you rip it open already? I reckon they're legit. Hailey's a legend. Thank you. Thank you, Hailey. What the fuck? That's awesome. So this is what I was talking about before about people sending shit. This is the sort of stuff we want. This is exciting. Something new. A little present. We can actually use this. Do you know what I mean? So yeah. Oh, so is this like headphones for here? Thank you, Hailey. So now we have another set of headphones, Matt. So thank you. Say thank you to Hailey. Thank you to Hailey. She's also female, Matt. Say thank you to Hailey, Matt. No, that won't work in here. No, but that's still cool to have. It's a present. It's nice. It's better than boring shit. Yeah, happy. Like a letter's boring. That was fun. It was like an object. We love the letters too. We love everything you send in. No, no. I'm happy with the headphones. I just don't think it'll work on that. But we like the headphones. Thank you. The headphones are great. They're very worse. We can pawn these off on the Facebook marketplace. Michael, there's a foot long sub each. Oh yeah, there's one more. All right. Thank you for that. Hailey. Hailey. Oh, no way. What is it? This is what I'm talking about. This is fucking great shit. Man. What'd you get? Guys, we, someone just sent weed. Thank you. Fucking hell. Thank you so much. It's a big fat nug. Oh, that's awesome. Oh, wow. This is from the last that sent us cookies once. Oh, yes. Thank you so much. It was so nice. Mild and like fucking. Long breaks on us. Do you reckon that's bushweed? I don't know. The edibles felt like bushweed. It was good. Lovely. Love it. I played golf. Ow. Thank you. Thank you to everyone there. That's Peo Box was outrageous. All right, everyone. It's time for a prank call. Hey guys. All came in with more team yesterday. I think it was yesterday. Yeah. And we've done the garden around the front and the back. I've just done prune and a bit of water on that. And I sent the invoice through yesterday since we finished the job. And your boss, mate, said that you used to pay a lot this morning on that. And I'm just calling and following that up because I got no enough money coming in to my account yet. So it was just a bit like, yeah, like what's going on sort of thing, you know what I mean? And no, so you did have plans and told you to come back because there's more. No, no, right. So I've done all the plants, right? Done the prune and all that. And then I invoiced them for me work yesterday. Right? Yeah. And your boss man said, yeah, I'll pay you a first thing tomorrow morning. That's this morning. And it should have gone in, should have come through the payment. But she still hasn't come through yet. So I was just calling to say, look, what the guy is there. Yeah. So unfortunately, I don't do any fine. Right, right, right, right. You need a call back during business hours. And so once your phone finance can help you. Look, surely you've got some authority there, right? Like surely you can transfer me just the money there. I'm sure why don't you look on your computer and say like, how much invoice isn't that? And then you can just transfer me the money. I don't understand why it's got to be someone else I talk to. Do you know what I'm sort of saying? Yeah, we have different departments. Wrong, right, right, right. And different departments do with different things so that we don't do with anything No, I understand, right. But you surely you've got to have some authority, right? Maybe it's not usually. But if some work comes in and says I've done work here, like you've got to understand, like, that's more life. Like I've got to go out. I've got to get groceries. I've got to get fear for the morning. I've got to get all my tools clean, right? That all costs like time and money, right? So like I was done the work and you said you're paying me, right? And now I'm getting shipped around from one person to the next person saying, oh, I don't do that. Oh, I don't do that. And it's just sort of like, I'm like, man, come on, man. I just done the work, man. I've done the work and I'm not getting paid. Yeah. So unfortunately, so we don't have anything. So I can't do anything regarding your payment. That is laughable. Honestly, that is laughable. Yeah. Look, I'll send more in. Yeah. So finance does all that. So they do all the payments, everything for that. We do not do any of that. Finance, finance, finance, but like seriously, finance, finance, because like I've done call you at lunch, right? And the same thing happened. I'll just keep getting shipped around, shipped around, right? And I'll sit down with bloody dazzling just hearing me out, right? I'm just trying to get bought. Yes, sir. Just trying to get bought. When you called us last time, when did you call us? Would have been about 1 p.m. this afternoon, right? And you're all busy in that lot made me wait like maybe 5, 10 minutes on the phone. And then some lady saying, oh, yeah. Just call back tonight, right? Just keep getting shipped around, right? And we've done the work. I've pruned all the leaves out the front, right? I bloody scooped all the little flies and that and scooped all the little black bag, right? And took it out the front. And I've done a bit of sweeping. Don't sweep all the rubbish bags down straight in the gardens. I'm straightening them around and spread the bark out a little bit. And now it's 10 o'clock in the morning. I'm trying to conize that. Yeah. So I don't know why they said we'll call later tonight because they finish at 5. Yeah, right, right. Look, look. So you probably met before 5. She might have said before 5. Like I said, look, I'm sure that there's something you can do for me. Look, come on. I can't do anything regarding it. I don't have any permission. Can you at least say, like, check, like, if the money's been coming out of your account yet and if it's on the way to us? I don't have access to any of our bank accounts. I don't have any access to the bank account. What about e-mails? But surely you've got e-mails. No, I don't have access to those. I sent that in, right? I know you's trying to wind up me here and trying to get her in. But I'm telling you right now, I'll be calling every day, right, until I was good. Yeah, but you can call us then. That's $150, don't you understand? I know that might not be much to your bloody rich receptionist or whatever. But for me, $150 goes a long way, right? That's half my grocery bill for me, four kids and me, useless for the week. Yeah. So what e-mail address did you e-mail? Right, I can't remember. The admin one, there's some admin one. Yeah, so we don't have access to that. We don't have it all for our account. Right. Is there someone you can ask, maybe, see if my invoice has been even seen? But do you know what I'm saying? Like, he's actually even been seen by... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, have a look around. Have a look around the garden. Like, look how spotless that shit is. Do you see? Did you notice today? Like, fuck me, the garden's fucking looking speaking, man, brother. That was me and me, team, man. That was me and Baszler and Tom on call. Yeah. So I can ask, but I have to ask tomorrow morning because that's when the team comes in. I don't have anything tonight. No, I understand. All right, now I respect your strength and your honor. I'll give you honor and respect for that. That's the top person I'll spend my time with. I'll find it appropriate. All right? So I'm going to tell you, look, look, right now, you got me, right? I'm going to go to bed tonight. This kid's going to be starving, but I'll back up, right? I'll back up in the corner. But tomorrow first thing, right? I've got to let you know I'm calling back, right? I'm not going to wait no more. You know what I mean? Like, urban sports is the name of my garden business. All right? Urban sports. So just checking the morning, if you could. If urban sports invoice has been paid yet because hundreds of drops. Sure, OK, yeah. All right, cheers, darling. I respect your stance. Standing up strong and salt, not letting move. I respect that, right? I've got to let you know that that is up the top of my priority list when I'm talking to people. Do you understand? Yeah, I will. OK, yeah. That's great. Do you understand? It's love and honor and respect. And it's about time and pride. Do you get it? It's courage. It's courageous. And it's brave. And it's onerous. It's onerous figgery. Yeah, OK. No worries, darling. I was great, David. Chat to you. Have a bloody good night. And I'll speak to you in the morning, brother. OK. See you, darling. Urban sports invoices we'll receive tomorrow. That's the best thing we've ever done. Seriously, hands down the best thing that we've ever done. He's open sport. Cup that shit, Matt. Cup that. Come on. That is fucking amazing. And honestly, the best thing we've ever done, ever. Ever? That's it. That is fucking amazing, Matt. We seriously are the best. I fucking know it. I knew that we were. Even when we're sick, we're up there with the best. We nailed it. Don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe. It's the only way we grow. The platforms don't promote us because of the things that come out of our mouths. So we rely on you, our beautiful fans. So please comment, like, and subscribe. It's not hard. And it really helps us. And if you listen on Spotify, chuck us a little five star reviews. Easy as well. Take it literally five seconds. You quickly grab your phone. Now do it if you want anyway. Well, wait before you go. I have one thing. Big fans of the podcast, Zoe Barnes. It's her husband's birthday. She's probably been by now, but by the time it comes out. But Lee, happy birthday legend. Big fans of our podcast. Well, happy birthday, Lee. Happiest of birthdays, my friend. There you go. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best. Best. Best. Best. Best. Best. Best. Smells like milk. Okay. Urban sports is his fucking business. And that was his slogan, what I just said then.