 a pack of Avalon cigarettes please yes sir oh just a moment sir don't forget your change you'd never guess but Avalon cost you less welcome to Avalon time with Red Foley Jeanette Edna Stillwell the Avalon chorus Bob Strong and his orchestra and the only man in radio who gives pep talks to chickens on how to lay bigger and better eggs thank you very much and good evening ladies and gentlemen say Dell what happened to your right eyebrow I went in the barber shop downstairs to get my mustache trimmed and the barber was near-sighted what a barber he'll tell you you got a complexion like a peach and then start slicing it feel great tonight I just got back to New York I flew in the trip was a little rough though in fact it was so rough I was scared green I was so green when I got off the plane a guy came over opened my mouth and tried to mail a letter in it a lot of fun I went to the World's Fair while I was in New York the went out one of those taxi cabs I like to ride in taxis they bang up the fenders it gives you that care free feeling those drivers are awful careful in New York oh they only drive in the safety zone the World's Fair is really beautiful there no kidding there's so many Klee glides that the astronomers claim that the man in the moon is wearing sunglasses the first thing when you reach the fairground is the trial on in Paris fear you know that big spike in the ball looks like slim summer villain Kate Smith standing together on Grover Whelan sets on top of Paris fear half the time he wants the people think he's got a lot on the ball really much that Grover Whelan okay and he's really out to make money I was wearing a blue plaid sport coat green pants an orange beret and I went to sleep in the waiting room and when I woke up Grover Whelan was charging a dime to see me I went to the flea circus I must have gotten too close to the performers because what happened to me shouldn't happen to a doll went over to Billy Rose's water carnival all that's really lovely I was sitting right in the front row of a lot of important people and everybody was getting wet the district attorney of New York Sun was right next to me even he was a little dewy and a lot of fun though really everybody in New York has that world's fair hospitality when I got off of the plane seven hotel managers ran up and offered to carry my wallet I think I've been out here long enough I'll step aside and let Red Foley start swinging down the old orchard lane swing it fellas all your listening to the mockingbirds we pray between my toes a day sick is by the softest rain honey suckle sweet filled the air contentment everywhere a heart as light as moon beams a mind that's filled with peace swinging down the old orchard traveled all around the world I've known a million thrill on the hidden beauties of the valleys and the hair the seven wonders of the world filled me with ecstasy of all the thrills I most enjoy this was the thrill for me swinging down the old orchard lane listening to the mockingbirds we pray the line that's filled with dreams swinging down the old orchard lane people are certain products stand apart ahead of all the others because they have a certain extra something the others can't match now in the cigarette field avalanze have a perfect combination that puts them at the top highest quality exceptional economy now let's take first the quality avalanze are blended to perfection with the world's finest Turkish and domestic tobaccos you couldn't get finer quality tobaccos regardless of price regardless of brand now second the economy avalanze cost three to five cents less for packs than other popular priced cigarettes now that repeated saving will net you many extra dollars every year so just remember these two important avalanze advantages superior quality outstanding economy try a pack tonight you'd never guess they cost your left that's the way it sounds when the angels sing heaven can wave hey listen skeleton don't forget you know it's Edna still well birthday and she's invited us over to her party party for Edna can I go to yeah you can go to come on tell the car parked outside rule drive over oh no let's walk over it makes me nervous the way you go around those curves yeah why don't you do what I do when I come to a curve just close your eyes come on delt that's my car is that the car yeah all the furniture in the back seat I carry that with me in case I get a flat I can move in I think I'll walk over oh come on let's ride we got the car with may well use it may as well yeah we may as well use it come on get in okay I will wait a minute well I'll just sit right down oh matter delt oh thanks gee I've been looking for that oil can for three weeks hold on now here we go I hope we get there in time oh here we are that's the quickest I ever crossed the street yeah until I get my goggles my duster off we'll go in and join the party oh hello boy come on in well happy birthday Edna happy birthday didn't no but we started to play games yeah you should have been here a few minutes ago what happened my aunt was bobbing for apples somebody slapped her on the back and she swallowed the tub oh I almost forgot Edna his little present for you the pair of the latest style stockings with pockets in the tops oh thanks delt but I'm sure gonna look funny standing around with my hands in my pockets here I brought you a little present too Edna oh it's a lovely ring oh nothing oh it's beautiful so what's that hole in the middle huh what's the hole for you can have a stone put in there if you want to you won't believe it but that ring used to belong to a millionaire yeah I know Woolworth yeah come on let's go in and play some games let's play the kissing game uh-oh there's Bob strong hi skelton blue Romeo hey you hadn't been kissing you look you got rouge on your cheek no I'm just naturally healthy just naturally healthy don't look now you're right cheeks healthier than the left one don't be so jealous skelton I don't mind when you kiss my girl what do you mean I never kissed your girl but you must have I showed her your picture and she said boy what a kisser I don't know what Edna sees in you well for one thing he's a wonderful musician well so what didn't I used to play an organ yeah too bad your monkey died yeah the messenger boy but miss me mr. scouting the customers have just got me all sweaters what seems to be the trouble her key well good heavens they expect me to have a horse and a suit of armor to deliver a night letter here's two telegrams for you miss bill well oh thank you her key you're welcome this one says congratulations on your 24th birthday many happy returns of signed red skelton yeah my ten words right now well thanks anyway imagine you sending me a telegram yes and imagine him sending it collect the old thing would you like to stick around her key well what are you gonna do well we're getting ready to play kissing game oh good heavens no I was at a party last night and I haven't been kissed so much that I was just one of those T.O. baby see what happened to her key he kissed the girl fainted and fell down a flight of stairs well listen mr. scouting when I kiss them I say kiss my goodness did I wake up this morning with a terrible headache well no wonder her key you kept mixing your drinks root beer right on top of sasperella no he didn't yes I did and along toward the end I was passing off straight ginger ale gotta go now mr. skelton I gotta wash out my cowboy underwear cowboy underwear what's that my Western Union soup they had that you forgot to read your other telegram I'll open it but all look it's from Kansas City Missouri that's my hometown yeah remember that hot shop you used to live over yeah and you used to live under it yeah remember how you used to come over to my house and whistle for the dog and you used to come running out wish everybody had stopped picking on me skelton everybody's play thing that's what I am here I'll read the telegram says congratulations on your birthday and my best wishes for your continued success and radio it is always gratifying to know that another Missouri girl has made good and it's signed Bryce B. Smith mayor of Kansas City Missouri thank you very very much for the greatest thrill I'm sure I ever had it's all right that wasn't in there but it was very well done maybe we should continue on now all look what Paulie's coming in with a big birthday cake hello Edna this is a little present from me to you by the way if you've got a charge account at Henry C's bakery no I haven't well you have now hey Paulie you pulled that crack on me once yeah well I got that one crack mine yeah that ain't bad you know it seems lately I got jokes in my blood yeah you're a little anemic ain't you come on let's light up the candles on the birthday cake okay here we go oh my beautiful cake who put those firecrackers on there for candles well I did but I didn't think you get sore about it see I only wanted to make sure that your birthday party go off with a bang this year songwriters are making brand new hits by rewriting songs of long ago here's Jeanette with the very latest they revised version of Park Avenue fantasy with a glamorous new title stairway to the stars to say try it once and let it prove its superiority well that's a funny thing because that's exactly what we say about Avalon cigarettes give them just one trial and they'll prove that the perfect Avalon blend of Turkish and domestic tobaccos is unsurpassed in quality and still Avalon's cost three to five cents less per pack than other popular price brands now is it any wonder they're known throughout the entire nation is the outstanding cigarette value on the market today highest quality at a worthwhile saving Avalon certainly deserve a trial why not pick up a pack tonight red bullie and the Avalon corner sing one of Nick Kenny's big hits it's a lonely trail handing at the crossroads don't know where to travel road just the smoothest highway somehow isn't my way and no body to care it's a lonely trail when you're traveling all alone it's a lonely trail with a low like a sheer heaven God and the road but I wouldn't if I could only travel double it's a lawyer traveling no and now for one of our gaga saga tonight I'm going to play the part of my much married ancestor King Henry the eighth skeleton our Edna still well will play the part of Catherine Howard my fifth wife and playing the role of Earl of Essex will be that noted English actor John Goldworthy who has been on Broadway for the past three years looking for work now we've imported Mr. Goldworthy for this part set a scene we're there okay red May 27th 1539 the place the Royal Palace in London as the scene opens we find King Henry and his wife Catherine Howard in the Banford Hall awaiting the return of the Earl of Essex from the Scottish War the Earl is late and the King of Hungary bring me food do you hear me where are you scullery names bring me food what do you wish sire bring me a leg of lamb a pack of potatoes a half a dozen heads of cabbage two loaves of bread a bag of pudding and a gallon of wine yes sire anything else nothing you can bring my dinner very good sire oh I forgot to tell you the Duke of Norfolk and the Duke of Suffolk want to sleep here tonight yes no wonder people think I like the fight I'm always putting up my dukes now fetch me not there it was to warm my innards I'm a grown boy and I need a lot of food you stopped growing long ago all but your stomach yeah Catherine Howard the size of my stomach is my business business that's a corporation you said it's good to see you again Henry yeah tell me Kate while I was in France were you true to me well let's see what day did you leave now you're just like me other four wives it's the Earl of Essex fault that you are here he advised me to marry and please if I had to married her out of never divorced her if I hadn't divorced her to never married you the Earl shall pay for this with his head well I'll be hanged you said it I never wanted the Essex to fight against Scotland anyway I'm half myself yeah half scotch and half soda one more of those corny remarks and you'll meet my executioner I've met him and he's a pain in the neck and if you think for one moment that I'll control yourself don't fly off your off the handle and lose your head under there's so many people out of work that guy's got all nice to see you again after a whole year my little piece of celery to be back what oh I say hot bird cold bottle warm fire familiar faces I say where's Anna please and he doesn't live here anymore she's one of my ex-wives did you ever try bicarbonate what do you use for a marriage license a computation ticket may interest you to know that this year I'm getting me a brand new Essex you mean you're changing your earl yeah if I told you you mean you're going to give me a quick haircut the hard way that's right you and of Cleves and Catherine here yeah I say oh boy do try and dig up a poor photo not that I really mind going you know I'll carry on chin up white tie for dinner and it out for the team and all that sort of drop well really Henry I've been true to you oh yeah then how come I saw you kissing the Duke of Norfolk last night I can't imagine unless you were peeking through the window I say don't you think you've put enough wives away you know fall off them no only three I had nothing to do with Lady Jane Seymour's booting the pale kicking a buck into you something suspicious about Lady Jane she died a natural death but my next wife my next wife will do as I say I see you mean you're going to marry again that's right I'm going to marry Lady Catherine Carr she'll be my sixth and last wife history may say I didn't know what the score was when it came to marriage but it will say I finished with par friends Avalon cigarettes give you highest quality but cost three to five cents less than other popular price brands and they're 100% union made and when you can get supreme quality in Avalon's for less why pay more so the next time ask for Avalon and don't forget your change yes Avalon cigarettes their friends cost several cents less than others you too can save the difference like all of us have a long brothers he's packed his wrapped in cello play he's packed his union made the wonder folks from coast to coast say Avalon's lead the parade so yes you'd never guess but Avalon's cost only 10 cents plus city or state tax like tonight show friends and we cordially invite you to be with us next Saturday evening at the same time when the Brown and Williamson tobacco corporation will again present Avalon time Del King speaking tonight everybody the ladies in love with you from some like it hot Avalon time has come to you from our Chicago studios this is the national broadcasting company e a f New York 9 p.m. b u l o v a bull of a watch time