 Happy Monday, everyone, and welcome to Mindset Mondays with Roseanne and Jenny. I'm Roseanne from Yuma, Arizona, and I'm an enrollment coach inside one of our alcohol-free lifestyle programs called Project 90. And I'm Jenny, and I'm in Northern Ireland, and I'm a community manager for the 30-day No Alcohol Challenge. And it's always wonderful to get to see you every Monday because we're across the world, actually. Anyway, we're broadcasting this on Facebook Live across our multiple platforms, public and private platforms, but we're also recording it for our podcast listeners who will be listening to it next Monday. If you're here with us live on Facebook, please feel free to say hi and tell us where you are because we want to know, we want to find somebody in the UK with Jenny. Jenny, we need to do a little confetti thing when that happens. I'm going to get a spark, Clair, when we have someone from Northern Ireland. Yeah, oh my gosh, I have to get a noise machine, so we're prepared when that happens. Anyway, if you're on here with us on Facebook Live, feel free to ask questions and give us shout outs. And we'll save our comments and answers to those questions at the end of our discussion. If you'd like to know more about Jenny or me and our alcohol-free journey, please tune in to our alcohol-free podcasts that are available on iTunes, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher and YouTube. My episode is 19, episode 19, and Jenny's is episode 39. There are a multitude of stories in there and subject matters that are sure to inspire you. Anyway, before we get started, I wanted to offer you some free stuff by way of our Alcohol Freedom Formula Guide. This resource is available below in the chat. And for those of you on the podcast, there will be instructions on how to get access to that at the end of the show. So today, we are talking about the Curse of Complacency. And this is for those who actually tried an alcohol-free life for some time and maybe achieved it for a couple of weeks or 30 days, 45, 6 months, and then decided to choose alcohol after that. And we got asked this question by, was it Jean in our 30-day program? So thank you, Jean, for giving us some subject matter. We'd love to hear subject matter for our next shows. Coming from you is far more meaningful than coming from us. Let us know what you want to talk about, because this definitely originated from one of our 30-day program participants. So I think we've kind of decided that we can put this in three brackets. And the first bracket we have is, never forget what it was that we told ourselves when we said I've had enough. And we made that phone call, or we entered that program, or we woke up that morning and decided to do something. Jenny, I'm going to go to you first with the answer to that question. What do you have to say about never forgetting where I was when I've had enough? Something, Rosanne, something someone said to me quite early on in my last, and yes, definitely last attempt to go alcohol-free, was if you escape with your life from the den of the lion, don't go back to pick up your cap. If you escape from the trap of alcohol, make sure you stay on that track, because if you go back, you really are starting all over again at time zero. And one of the things that kept me going in the early days was just forcing myself to remember how horrific day one was. I actually took notes at the time I made myself record that day, how bad I felt, how hectic, how nauseous, how dizzy, how shaky, just how awful. And for a long time, I motivated myself to keep going by remembering how bad that was and how much I did not want to go back. And I think the further away you get from your day one, the easier it can be to forget how bad it was. And we maybe start to view alcohol a little bit through rose-coloured spectacles, and we remember the good times and all those things. And I think that's where complacency can start to come in. Did you have that experience as well? I really appreciate that, because I'm not a journal writer, but kind of reflecting. I think that's great advice. I wish I had documented it. But for me, remembering where I was when I said I'd had enough, I lived a secret life, I felt I could go out and kind of control my drinking and then go home and drink more until I didn't remember more, until I ate things that I didn't remember I ate until I woke up the next morning and saw the plate or the wrapper. I tell everybody I talk to, it's like a form of psychological slavery. My confidence had been eroded to just about nothing. I was retired and I thought I wasn't capable of offering anything more to the world. And I'm just short of a year, Jenny. I know it's fantastic. March 9th, and I think by the time the podcast is aired, it'll be a day before my one-year anniversary. Yeah, it's always easy for me to look back, because what I had to look back to was not good. And I don't know if I want to take the risk. I think this complacency thing is real. I think if I had been challenged with anything, it would be the risk of complacency that I got this now. Life's good. I can handle it. I'm confident. I have everything I want. I can choose. I can moderate. Well, maybe I can. But I don't know why should I? Like if things are good, why should I? So, yeah. So then we have our second point is what's the risk of the lie if just one brings me back to ground zero? What is the risk of the lie? Jenny, do you want to? Yeah. I actually looked up to try and do it, but I'm a research queen. I tried to do a bit of research on the statistics for success rates for people who have gone alcohol-free for some time and then thought, can I moderate? And they're very, very poor, as you might expect. And I actually find a really interesting study from Harvard of all places. And what they concluded from quite a lot of research, and I'm just looking at my notes here, is that if you've ever been in a situation where you've experienced negative consequences from alcohol, be that your health, your lifestyle, relationships, whatever, and you've continued to drink and you then quit drinking, the chances of you being able to go back and moderate or practically zero. In other words, if you've been in a situation where your drinking has been harming your life at any level and you do manage to quit, absolutely the best strategy for you is not ever to try to moderate because it's just too difficult. And you know, those of us who have had kindless day ones know the slippery slope. And I think that's where the complacency issue comes in. As you said, Roseanne, you get to a point, it might be a few weeks and I might be a couple of months then where you go, you know what? I've got this. I'm fine. I can go out and have one drink. The trouble is for me anyway, it was never just one. You know, I sometimes say that the problem isn't the third or fourth drink. The problem for me was always the first one because it would never be just the first one. Yeah. And I think that that happens a lot of times, especially in our early walk, it's easy to go back. But you know, I'm going to be honest, you know, because I've been around people and talked to people for a while. Sometimes if you've made it a year or two, you can moderate for a little bit. Yeah. You know, some people can. The question I would ask is, do you want, I know for me, I'm too scared to take the risk. And it's interesting because talking about complacency and not being complacent. I was thinking about this earlier and thinking, I am certain I will not drink again. But what I am not is complacent about that. So I'm always on my guard. And I think one of the things that that is really important is to become so aware of your triggers. So for me, for example, one of my biggest triggers would have been overwhelm, whether that was practical in terms of my to-do list or whether it was emotional overwhelm, just because I was dealing with a lot. And the thing about that is you can see it coming. And you quite often read that the decision to pick up a drink again is actually taken quite a while, sometimes a day or two before you physically pick up the drink. Your subconscious mind is kind of preparing you to do it. So the more aware you can be of what triggers you to feel like a drink, the more quickly you can pre-empt that and put in place the safeguards that you need. So whether you need to go into your toolbox and take out a few more tools, do a bit more exercise or whatever the things that help you get back into equilibrium are. So kind of being aware of your feelings and what leads to you wanting to pick up that drink is one of the best pre-emptive strikes. Right. Well, one of the, I guess, where I was going with that moderation is it might even work for a little bit. But I talked to a lot of people on the phone that have been alcohol free for quite some time, and maybe they're able to moderate over a short period of time. When something happens, when there's, you know, life happens, life's pretty difficult. And the thing that I definitely pride myself in and my personal journey is that the triggers of sadness and stress and emotional distraught do not bring me to this place of drinking. And that- You can always rely on Danny, can't you? I'm sorry, podcast listeners. Anyway, yeah, so I have seen moderation go sideways. And I'm just so grateful that my number one trigger of stress and sadness and despair does not even bring the thought of alcohol. So, you know, that, but in terms of, yeah, the question was, what's the risk of the lie of just one bringing me back to ground zero is, yeah, what you're saying is life is good right now, isn't it, Johnny? I mean, I mean, life's not perfect, but we do learn how to navigate every day, as if it's the best day. So, yeah. Okay, the third and final point is, how do we create a container or we should be creating a container inside of our journey that allows us to see progress? Because some of us just go, okay, I'm going to quit drinking. And it's just you quit drinking and you continue on with life, right? But I know for us in Project 90, and this was very important for me, once you get through that initial phase of getting it out of your life, okay, what wins are we going to create? You know, did you want to start exercising again? Did you want to start writing that book? Did you want to create a better relationship? Did you want to develop a business plan for your company, right? Creating a container where you can see progress. And that's also helpful before you choose, because that gets back to what happens if I go to one, right? And I love what you said, Johnny. The thing is, your fear of getting back there, you know, you might be able to moderate for a while. But why bother? Is it going to add anything? So I think the question is, you know, why did I want to give up in the first place? And then as you say, Rosanne, I certainly find that as, you know, as I proceed on my journey, if you like, because my thinking was becoming more clear, I was able to start making plans for the future. And that was a very important part of my why I mean, you know, my story. And lots of lessons come to do as well. I was trying to find a way of rebuilding my life after my husband's death. And, you know, I could see I would go in one of two ways. I would keep drinking and sink into a complete spiral. Or I could find something something to live for to be quite honest with you. And, you know, in the times since I've been alcohol free, and that will be nine months later this week. I'm still three months behind you, but I suppose but, you know, in that time, I've set up a business. I've started volunteering. I've become the community manager for the wonderful 30 day group. And all of those things have given me a sense of purpose that that I was searching for. And, you know, that's the container within which I now operate. And the fabulous thing about, in particular, the 30 day group is, I cannot pick up the drink. I cannot while I'm the manager of that group, because that would be hypocritical and sinful. And, you know, that's brilliant. Because if I did need something to keep me on track, that would do it. That would be my container. Yeah. Right. That's a good one. That's a good one. Okay. So winding down people in Facebook live, Danny got me off track. We had one question from Margaret, which I'll address if I might. Margaret asked, how do I know if I have a drinking problem? And my slightly tough answer to that would be, if you've ever asked yourself if you have a drinking problem, you probably do. Spot on. Spot on. Jenny, it's if you've ever let yourself down on your commitment, if it's ever hard, like, wait, I told myself I wouldn't drink again, I'm drinking again. Kind of a problem. It's a problem and that is a habit. Right. A habit loop that is developed deeply and ingrained deeply into into your subconscious mind. And yeah, that's beautifully spoken, Jenny. I appreciate that. I'm going to do one last call out to people to say hi to us or ask us a question. Danny, now I want to see the Harvard study that I made up. I mean that I researched. I'll take it out for you, Danny. Yeah. So, okay, well, Jenny, that was I thought that was really help. Dominic says you guys helped me rekindle a renewed enthusiasm for your lifestyle. That's awesome. Dominic, you're here because we have seen our own lives transform. We watch others transform inside the programs that we're involved in. And it's just an absolute joy to witness the changes that can be accomplished in an alcohol-free life. So I'm going to close it down until next Monday. I want to thank everyone. If you do have, Julia says, it was a pleasure to hear your humorous and wonderful stories. We're going to have fun with one another. This was like frightening about a month ago. Well, you see, you're already starting to break down my famous British reserve, Rosanne. That's the goal, to have you dancing on screen. Anyway, if you have any more interest in talking to me about Project 90, Melanie in the background is going to be posting in the links below. Jenny, do you want to talk about your 30-day? Yeah, if anyone is interested in having a go at quitting for 30 days, you can join the 30-day program, 30dayalcoholchannel.com. I think Melanie's going to post the link below. That will give you access to a daily video from James Swannick. There's a very, very vibrant Facebook group, which will give you loads and loads of support. Anyone can reach out and DM me or email me at any point I'm here to support as well. I think Melanie will post my details there as well. Frances has asked a final question. Do you want to take that one, Rosanne? How do you feel yourself in 10 years alcohol-free? Well, thank you for that question, Frances. How do we see ourselves in 10 years alcohol-free? The good news is, who knows? I'm so excited about the future. The difference between now and then was I was afraid of the future, whereas I'm looking forward to the future. What's possible? What's possible inside the world? The world is my oyster now, and before my life was closing in on me. That's the best way I can describe it. I remember one of our people on Project 90 saying, the problem now is I've got too many choices. I remember you saying, well, that's a good problem to have. You just become a magnet for positivity. It's just really an incredible feeling. Anyway, we're going to close it down. If you're listening on this podcast, you're going to soon hear James talk about how to get and book a call with me or any of the other wonderful coaches waiting to talk to you. It's just been wonderful. Bye, everybody. Bye, everybody. Thanks for listening to the Alcohol-Free Lifestyle podcast. I want to load you up with some free stuff right now. If you want to go to jameswanick.com guide, I will send you my quit alcohol guide, which has helped six-figure entrepreneurs and top professionals produce or quit drinking. You can also text the word quit guide to the number 44222 if you're in the US, of course. It doesn't really work anywhere outside of the US, but if you're in the US on your mobile phone and you'd like that guide, text the word quit guide to the number 44222, or you can go to jameswanick.com slash guide. If you'd like to schedule a free 15-minute call with one of my top coaches, just an exploratory call to see if or how we can help you, then you can go to jameswanick.com slash schedule, or you can text the word Project 90 to the number 44222 if you're listening in the US on a mobile phone. That's jameswanick.com slash schedule, or you can text the word Project 90, that's one word, Project 90, to the number 44222. Feel free to send me a direct message over on my Instagram account, which is at jameswanick.com. You can also watch video episodes of this podcast and a series of other educational videos on my YouTube channel, which is jameswanick.com. Or you can direct message me on Facebook at jameswanick.com. And finally, a request. Would you please now write a short review of the podcast inside of the Apple Podcast app on your phone or on iTunes on your desktop computer? Would you please give the show five stars and write a quick one or two sentence review? This will help the show get in front of even more listeners, potentially transforming someone's life. You can rate and review the show inside of your Apple Podcast app on your phone or over on iTunes on your desktop. Thank you so much and I'll catch you next time.