 Well hello. Hey, why so down? Oh, you want to audition for America's Got Talent? But you don't know if you're good enough to make it. Hmm. Well worry no more. I'm about to tell you exactly how you can guarantee yourself a spot on the greatest talent show on Earth. Just follow these simple steps and there's no way you'll get buzzed off the stage. First things first, let's take a look at what not to do. Here, have a listen. I don't know about you, but I'm bored to tears. Who wants to hear some boring pianist play an accurate rendition of a long treasured piece? Not me. Let's try that again, only this time we're going to follow these easy steps. Step one, make sure you seem awkward and socially inept when you walk on the stage. You want to give the judges and the audience the impression that there's no way you could be talented at anything in life. Hi. Step two, sit down at the piano only, make a big deal out of it, and come up with some outrageous physical preparation technique. On top of already being a complete weirdo, you'll also seem quirky and unstable. And while this will initially add to people's skepticism, it will make you seem that much more impressive once we turn the tables on the audience. Step three, begin your audition piece. The key to any good performance is to play as fast and as intensely as possible. If your wrists aren't completely locked up with lactic acid by the first repeat, well, you're not trying hard enough. The harder you play, the more passionate you will come across, and thus, the more impressed the judges will be. Be sure to knock the piano bench over behind you. Not only is it impressive to play standing up, but it sends the message that, hey, I'm really into this piece. See here? Watch the bench hit the floor. Impressive, isn't it? Remember, sound doesn't matter. It's all about how you look while you're delivering the performance, so facial expressions are key. Throwing in some vocalizations and yelling while you're playing. This will really drive home the point that you are completely engulfed by the music and transformed by it. Most importantly, remember that notes don't matter. If you play fast enough, nobody will hear the mistakes. It's good. Now you're sure to blow the audience out of their seats. The judges will give you a standing ovation, and if you're lucky, Tiktoker Howie Mandel will hit the golden buzzer and negate any criticism the other judges might have had for you. And there you have it. By following these simple steps, you'll be a shoo-in for the show. So get out there and start powerlifting six days a week, because when it comes to making it in this world, it's all about hard and fast. Like, on the piano, though.