 Why it's so hard for the narcissist when you move on? When you move on the narcissist will often find themselves in a difficult situation They will begin to panic They will experience sudden and controllable fear and anxiety Which causes wildly unthinking behavior While they were with you Everything was so easy It was very convenient for them It fitted in well with their needs activities and plans It involved little trouble or effort Because you were doing all of the work They had nothing to worry about In many situations The narcissist will have a place to stay They will have all of the bills paid for They will have nothing to worry about financially Narcissists have a strong sense of entitlement So they believe that they are inherently deserving of privileges and special treatment And if you are a codependent wimpath They just see you as being very naive They see you as showing a lack of experience, wisdom and judgement They typically target people who don't have much experience in relationships Because then you don't know if what they're doing is right You trust their judgement You believe what they're saying to you If they demand or expect something from you You assume that it's something you must provide And they take advantage of that They will take you to the cleaners They will drain you mentally, emotionally and financially You will lose a lot of money You will lose a lot of time and energy Because it takes a lot to keep someone afloat Even to keep ourselves going It takes a lot out of us But when the narcissist comes into the picture We begin to neglect ourselves All of our time, energy and money Is spent on keeping the narcissist alive It's spent on keeping the narcissist emotionally stable In the hopes that they won't attack or criticise us If you don't do what the narcissist wants They will get very angry Because they're dependent on you You are their only source of survival When the narcissist targets a source of supply That person is their life support That person is supposed to keep them alive And you will find yourself having to dig into your own life source To keep them going Until you don't even recognise yourself anymore You don't remember the person you used to be You used to look after yourself You used to have time to introspect You used to have time to examine your thoughts and feelings But now your world has been dominated by the narcissist Now your world revolves around them So while the narcissist is with you They don't have anything to worry about They may shout and scream And act like you're causing so many problems and difficulties But that's just a part of the strategy That's just designed to keep you running on their hamster wheel Because if you were really a problem for them They wouldn't even stick around If you could see the narcissist interacting With someone who doesn't play their game They wouldn't even stick around for a second The only reason why they would still be with you Is because they still see you as their fool They still see you as their doormat And although they may not appreciate anything you've done for them It's actually very convenient for them It's useful and suitable for them It contributes to an easy and effortless way of life When they found you They struck gold They do see the value in what you've done for them And that is why it's so hard for them to let go Of course they're never going to tell you this They want you to doubt your worth They want you to doubt your qualities and abilities Because it keeps you looking at yourself Rather than realizing that they're not bringing anything to the table Because while it was very convenient for them It was very inconvenient for you It caused a lot of problems and difficulties for you The narcissist comes in with nothing And leaves with everything While you come in with everything and leave with nothing So when you move on it's very hard for the narcissist Because they know your value They know your worth They recognize the conveniences that you brought to their lives Which is why they're not just going to move on gracefully They're not just going to move on in a respectful and dignified way Despite everything you did for them They're going to portray it as though you didn't do enough And they might even start a smear campaign against you So that everyone sees you in the same way So that everyone sees you as this horrible person who neglected and abandoned them Even though the narcissist actually gained a lot while being with you Their life was easier than it had ever been They're going to portray it as though you couldn't do anything right As though you brought all of these problems and difficulties into their lives Because they see it as though if a relationship ends Someone must be at fault Someone must have been the problem While the other person was the victim And they do not want to be seen as the problem They do not want to be seen as someone who did anything wrong Their image of reputation is very important to them Which is why they will always play the victim role They will act as though you did something to them Or you didn't do enough for them When you get involved with a narcissist It will always end with you being seen as a bad guy No matter what you did for them But even though they portray you as this horrible person They will still hold on to you for dear life They will still try to consume the remains of whatever they haven't used up yet Because although they may have enjoyed many conveniences while they were with you They understand that they're going to need a souvenir to move on without you They're going to need a piece of the party When you move on from the narcissist They're not going to lock back And appreciate everything you did for them They're not going to see it as though you did all of that out of good will They saw you as a doormat They saw your kindness as a weakness Something for them to exploit And when you move on The exploitation doesn't stop there They will continue trying to walk all over you Because they know that you're going to be fine without them They know that you're going to have no problems moving on They know that they were the ones who needed you And they see it as though You're running off with all of the goodies You're running off with all of the special and nice things that you will enjoy And they hate the thought of that It eats away at them So before they leave They're going to try to milk as much out of you as they can They're going to have you waiting on them hand and foot Because they know that they're not going to be able to survive without you They know that they need a part of you to keep them going And if you don't cave into their demands They're just going to use that to support their smear campaign They're going to use that to make it look like you're leaving them out in the cold Never mind everything you did for them up until that point They have a strong sense of entitlement They believe that you exist to serve them And if you don't Then you're at fault So even when you try to move on They're still going to be holding on to you A normal breakup might be painful And it could last for up to a few weeks But when you try to move on from a narcissist It can last for years When you move on from the narcissist The narcissist knows it's going to be hard They know it's going to be difficult for them They know they're going to struggle without you And that is why they need to find your replacement They need to find someone else to give them attention and admiration Someone else to provide them with what they need Someone who they haven't drained yet And they will often do this From the moment they start devaluing you When they start abusing you And you take a step back They're already on the lookout for their next source of supply They're already looking for someone to replace you Because they know they're not going to be able to survive on their own They know they're not going to be able to live a convenient life Without someone to support them They will try to find someone who is powerful, attractive and successful But it doesn't always work out that way for them In many cases They just have to settle with what they've got Beggars can't be choosers And although they may miss some of the conveniences you've provided to them They're still going to see it as though you were the problem They're going to see it as though you made the wrong decision And regardless of your success or whatever you've built for yourself They're just going to see you as a fraud They're going to see you as someone who is not deserving of it As you're trying to move on They will try to milk as much out of you as they can But it's never enough They will always need someone else to sustain them And that's when the cycle just starts all over again Thank you for watching I hope this video has a note with you Please like, comment, share and subscribe If you would like to donate My PayPal link is in the video description Coaching in Quires You can email me at coachnetnarksurvivor.co.uk Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon