 ومن آياته أن خلق لكم من أنفسكم أزواجا لتسكنوا إليها الحمد لله رب العالمين له الحمد الحسن والثناء الجميل معشد أن لا إله إلا الله وحده لا شريك له يقول الحق وهو يهد السبيل واشد أن سيدنا ونبينا محمد صلى الله عليه وعليه وعاله وأصحابه والتابعين لهم بإحسان إلى يوم الدين أما بعد ما بلافد بردن سيسرين في الإسلام إن شاء الله تعالى تلعب أنا سأبدأ أبسوط أو سيريزن أكثر على حق الحمد حق الحمد The reason why I thought this was important is because the biggest or the largest amount of questions the largest amount of concerns that is put towards my direction it is due to marriage issues people complaining about their marriage is not being good also people getting married without having correct understandings of what the rulings of marriage are the responsibilities and the rights and the list goes on and I believe this is something that a lot of people would admit who deal with the Muslim communities affairs would say yes I myself the largest amount of questions and concerns in which I deal with is marriage related matters divorce related matters و لذلك it was mentioned Sheik Abdul Aziz من أباز عليه الرحمة الله ومهاله بما يسيره he was asked once in his office and he was asked what are the largest amount of questions that you deal with what is it related to and he said divorces and marriage issues so because this is one of the biggest issues which people question and they ask it then deserves in sha Allah for it to be dealt with correctly sometimes I see two married couples a wife and a husband and they talk about their relationships and that which they are in and when they talk about their relationships or when they speak about their relationship they speak about it as though they're in it because of the less of two harms you know ارتكابوا أخفض برأيين taking the less of the two evils they're trying to say that if I leave my wife right now my children are going to suffer and they're going to find hardship so I'm only in this for my children so the love and the appreciation of one another has actually died out so since that's the case and Allah did not legislate marriage for that He did not legislate marriage so the person takes the less of two evils رضا الله تعالى He made us get married or permitted for us to get married and urged us to get married because of what he mentioned in this آية الله سبحانه وتعالى He says ومن آياتي أن خلق لكم من أنفسكم أزواجاً لتسكنوا إليها وجعل بينكم مودة ورحمة إن في ذلك لآيات اللي قوم يتفكرون so in the آية الله تعالى He says the reason why the two spouses why Allah created one another for each other and for them to be with one another is so they can they can have مودة ورحمة كامباشن ومرسي افرشيشن of one another so the way I plan إن شاء الله تعالى to deal with this issue is to rely on 40 حديث 40 حديث of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم that talk about how to gain happy marriage is there anyone we believe greater than the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم is there anyone who would solve our problems give us the right cure then our message of Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم the answer is without a shadow of a doubt no so 40 حديث in today's episode or today's series إن شاء الله تعالى I will be in Lail Karim be speaking about 2 حديث so the title of these 2 حديث is going to be حديث that have come in what urging you to get married and the reason why these 2 حديث should be what we start with is because a lot of people look at people's relationships and how it's going and where it's heading and they realize the divorce rate is going up people are complaining about their relationship so what happens to the youngsters and the youths is they look at that and they think that I don't want to get married and they get put off from getting married so 2 حديث to urge them to get married and then إن شاء الله تعالى if time allows me in this episode إن شاء الله تعالى I might mention another 2 حديث which is what a حديث pertaining to choosing the right individual now that we've told you to get married and that we've the حديث have mentioned and we've told you the حديث pertaining to that then choosing the right individual choosing the right individual you want to get married to because it's not just get married to any old woman or the woman it shouldn't be for her to get married to any old guy but rather there should be a correct preference that she should set herself there is a criteria that she has to look for in the person she wants to get married to that works for the man just yesterday I was just yesterday I was with a group of youngsters and the questions that they were putting forward to me we weren't even in London we went outside London and we camped outside it was a camping that we did and so the discussions that I was having with them I realised that it is a very big concern for the youngsters and the youth the issues of marriage and when I've looked at those who've spoken about these issues a lot of them do not bring the answers of those questions from the نصوص الوحيين the كتابن السرنة rather they get it from their own their own intellect and the way they feel and that isn't a problem rather it's needed your experience is also a form to guide and to help no doubt about that but the first place to get it from it should be the كتابن السرنة because as we always say my beloved brothers and sisters Allah created us and it's the same Allah that created us the one who legislated and the way we are created and the way Allah modified us and made us there's nothing that can answer those concerns of us and our needs accept the revelation accept the textual evidences they're the only things that can meet our needs so insha'Allah without any further ado I'm going to start with the first حديث this حديث الامام البخاري and the muslim both narrated it الامام البخاري and the muslim both narrated it من حديث عبدالله من المسعود رضي الله تعالى عنه on the حديث of عبدالله من المسعود may Allah be pleased with him عبدالله من المسعود said كنا مع النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم we were with the messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم if we couldn't find anything فقال لنا رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم the messenger said to us he said to us يا معشر الشباب oh youngsters youth من استطاع any one of you who is able البائتها any one of you who has the physical ability who also has the financial ability both meanings insha'Allah the ba'a means a man who has the physical ability to fulfill the desires of his spouse or the youngsters youth who has financial ability he has money فليها تزاوت get married why فإنه أغض للبصري فإنه أغض للبصري because that is what allows you to lower your gaze وأحصلوا للفرجي وأحصلوا للفرجي and it is what safe gods it's a fortress for your private part وما لم يستطيع the one who doesn't have the ba'a he doesn't have the financial ability or he physically can't fulfill the desires فعليه بالصوم أبنه يسفر فإنه له وجاء that is a wija a wija as we said is to castrate that castrates your desires and it eradicates it and gets rid of it fully as I said this hadith is narrated by Bukhari and Muslim and the wording is the wording of Imam Bukhari رحمه الله so here this hadith allows us to understand that marriage is a prophetic guidance it is هدو النبيينة it is the guidance of our prophet and also the prophet who came before him it is from his sunnah عليه الصلاة والسلام it is from what it is from his sunnah عليه الصلاة والسلام and to turn away from marriage without a justified reason العراض عن الزواجي to turn away from marriage من غير عدر شرعي without having a legislated reason it is you having if you do that then it means you have passion in other than the sunnah your desire you want to be on a path other than the path of the prophet which is you having رغبة عن sunnah عليه الصلاة والسلام and that is basically the hadith of Bukhari and Muslim and the wording is the wording of Imam Bukhari من حديث عليه الصلاة والسلام in which he said جاء ثلاثة رحط إلى بيوت أزواج النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم three men they came to the house of the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم يسألون عن عبادة النبي and they asked the prophet to worship how is his عباد alike what kind of person is he when he comes to worshiping الله تباركة when he comes to worshiping الله سبحانه وتعالى فلما أخبروا when they were told and they were informed كأنهم تقاللوها they kind of they kind of belittled the عبادة that was told to them so we don't say they belittled the prophet but they belittled the عبادة that was told to them ابل حجر if I'm not wrong and because it was long time when I looked at it ابل حجر mentions the reason they belittled the عبادة was from the direction of who told them the person who conveyed it to them and the explanation that they gave to them was something they belittled but in the reality and the real essence of the prophet's عبادة is not something a person can belittle the reason why is because he used to pray صلى الله عليه وسلم وعلي حتى يتوررت قدمة until his legs would swell and he would bleed so somebody like that his worship is not something you can you can belittle but anyways they said where are we from the messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم اين نحن من النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قد غفر له ما تقدم من ذنبه وما تأخر he has been forgiven for his past sins and he's also been he's gonna be forgiven for his upcoming sins so where are we from him if he's doing this عبادة if he's working out and he's also forgiven then who are we who are we in comparison to him so one of them said اما انا as for me فإني أصوم فإني أصلي الليلة أبدا I'm going to pray every night forever وقال آخر and another one said انا أصوم I'm going to fast ادهر ولا افتر I'm going to fast continuously and I'm not gonna break my fast the other one he said انا عتزلوا النساء I'm gonna distance myself I'm gonna distance myself from women I'm gonna leave the women فلأت زوج أبدا and I will never get married the prophet SAW came and he said to them انت من الذين قلتم كده وكده are you the guys are you the individuals who have said this this this this then they said yes then the prophet said to them اما والله بي الله إني لاخشاكم للله I am the one who feels Allah the most واتقاكم له and I am the one who has the most piety لكني أصوم وافتر but I fast and I break my fast وأصلي وارقد and I pray and then I sleep and relax I lay down واتزوج النساء and I marry women فمن رغب عن سنة فليس مني anyone who shows desires who shows passion to other than my sunnah is not from me so those two hadith which hadith are my referring to my beloved brothers and sisters the first two hadith that I am referring to here is and I am still on the first hadith by the way I am just explaining the first hadith is the last hadith of عبدالله من المسؤول رضي الله و تعالى sorry the first hadith of عبدالله من المسؤول which is this صحيحين are you with me and the wedding is the wedding of Imam Al-Bukhari and the second one which is the hadith is the Alice of the Malik which is also Imam Al-Bukhari and the wedding of Imam Al-Bukhari both those narrations they show us how the Prophet ﷺ urged how he pushed one to marry him but the second hadith gives us another understanding which is that marriage is the Prophet's guidance is his sunnah it is his tradition ﷺ so one should not say or a person should not say well I don't want to get married and he is able to get married and he has the ability to get married also this hadith my beloved brothers and sisters to the youths youngsters this hadith teaches us that marriage is what can allow you to lower your gaze it makes a person lower their gaze once you do get married because you have your desires fulfilled you now lower your gaze it allows you to focus on other things in life now whereas when you are not married then your mind is always thinking about this و أحصنوا للفرجي marriage is also a fortress when you get married it's like a fortress that protects you from what's outside getting married protects your private part from you going to commit haram now the shari'a which إن شاء الله تعالى I'm going to expand on it later when I go to the hadith to come but what allows the man what allows a man to lower his gaze and for his and for his for his private part to be protected from going to fulfill anything which is haram is when he has a wife who fulfills his needs who fulfills his sexual drive if the wife her existence is like her absence if she's like a person who's not even there a salatan she's not there to fulfill her husband's needs she does not dress up for him in which he can then focus on her appearance then a lot of the times the problem that occurs is that individual is lowering the gaze this man he won't lower his gaze and his private part is not protected for him now that doesn't mean that if the wife is not fulfilled the sexual drive of the man and he's allowed to go and look around but what it means is that the marriage here that's been spoken about which the youngster the youth is told to go and get married because it will protect you and it will also protect your private part means the wife when you go home and you look at her she's there to dress for her husband to look beautiful and appealing to him and she's also ready to fulfill his desires but a wife that doesn't do that then the husband will lack the two of those characteristics from that marriage meaning for him to lower his gaze or for him to protect his private part otherwise in other words if the husband isn't doing the same if the husband is not fulfilling the desires of his wife and he's not doing what she needs from him then also it causes a problem especially in this society that we're living in in the west where the doors of فحشاء and منقرات are open a husband has to realize and the wife hasn't left her house your wife when she got married to you she didn't walk away from her dad's house and her mom's house for a food and a shelter she had those two in her parents house she had that in her parents house she left her parents house so you can fulfill her desires so if she's in your life and you're not doing that then it also becomes a problem for her to lower her gaze and for her to protect her private part and brothers and sisters this is very important that we understand this because you find on both sides there's a complaint on this issue a wife that complains of her husband depriving her from this right of hers and so she feels her that her husband is not doing her justice and when you find men who say the same about their wives that she's not fulfilling what I need from her as a husband my desires so this causes big problems it causes a big problem and that we need to keep that in mind then the next part of the حديث it says there comes a person who's not able to financially get married he does not have the ability فعليه بصوم this individual it is upon him to fast he has to fast what I mean by fasting is that you stay away from food and drinking you stay away from your شهوات your desires from sunrise to sunset look at this it's very important that we analyze this حديث and we understand it properly the حديث says get married if you're able to and if not fast it didn't give you a third option the third option that nowadays the youngsters in the youth have given one another is to fulfill their desires by using their body parts for example they use their hands to fulfill their desires and it's تمنا which is that the person he uses his hands to fulfill his desires this شرع اللي يدرس in الشريعة it is not permissible and it's حرام and it falls under the statement of Allah when Allah mentions the issue of marriage and the men get in marriage look what Allah said those who save God for private parts who do they safeguard it for then the ayah says and anybody who then tries to look for another way to fulfill his desires then they are the ones who have exceeded their limits they are the transgressors they are the criminals pay attention here they protect their private parts so they can fulfill it with their wives and that which their right hands possess but the ayah after that it says if they try to find a means other than the aforementioned then they are transgressors and criminals so these other methods and forms which people fulfill their desires without their wives and their husbands so the person isn't married he doesn't able to get married he wants to get married but he goes out and he fulfills his desires by for instance masturbating or things like that this is not permissible rather it is realized from the lehia of the shari'a from the angle of the shari'a and the shari'a only gave us fasting as an option medically it is realized medically that it has great side effects and that it could cause a lot of harm a lot of illnesses to the male who does this and you have to know my beloved brothers and sisters if the shari'a closes a door if it blocks a door if it then that door the reason why it got closed is for your own masala it is for your own good and for your own benefit if you fast that fasting that fasting male or female it will castrate your desires meaning you will not have what you will not have shawa you will be like an animal who got castrated whose vein in his testicles was taken out no more sexual drive fasting that's what it will do to you so if the prophet SAW this is what fasting does to you it will get rid of your desires for you wanting to commit zina then we believe what the prophet SAW said what the prophet SAW said فعليه بصومي فإنه له وجاءون فاستن is a form to get rid of that drive the reason why is because fasting as they say it tightens it tightens your veins when you fast your blood flow goes slow that's one thing that's good especially when it comes to the issue of sexual drive one thing is شيطان runs in the vein of the human being الشيطان يجلي من يبنو آدم مجر الدم شيطان runs in the person's veins so once you fast you are weakening شيطان you are weakening him and so because of that his whispers and his speaking to you will become much less so that's first حديث that we're going to take in شاء الله وتعالى it is to urge it is to urge people to get married ترغيبوا في الزواجي the second حديث is the second حديث is حديث which امام الترمذي النسائي عن ابنوما generated امام الترمذي امام النسائي امام النسائي امام النسائي that the messenger عليه وسلم he said ثلاثة حق على الله عز وجل عونهم المكاتب الذي يريد الأداء والناكح الذي يريد العفافة والمجاهد في سبيل الله ثري الله سبحانه وتعالى place it on himself to aid them to support them ثلاثة ثلاثة الله يجعله باني on himself to aid them and support them من ثلاثة الذي يريد العفافة الناكح الذي يريد العفافة the one who wants to get married to protect and to be trust to protect his private part and to be trust that's the aim and objective and why he wants to get married he's doing it he's doing it to be trust he doesn't want to go out and come easily if a person is sincere and he really wants to get married for what reason and the harami to protect himself from the harami الله تبارك وتعالى is going to aid you and Allah is going to support you Allah is going to aid you with what he will aid you with financial support and Allah will aid you also by keeping you trust ابن كثيرا رحمه الله he said والمعهود with that which is known من كرم الله from the generosity and the kindness of Allah is and his tenderness رزقه وإياها بما فيه كفاية الله ولها الله يوجد for you شيء that suffices you and suffices the woman you're going to get married to this is what Allah takes on himself and this is what Allah the first part of the hadith mentions it ثلاثة three types of people حقنا على الله حقنا على الله he means what تفضل من الله it is a virtue from Allah on his slaves I'm going to bestow my mercy on you by doing this to you you want to get married? Allah will make you He will allow you to get married find you the finance and the money and I've seen people who were struggling and they didn't have the money and once they got married Allah opened those for them وأنكحوا الأيام منكم وصالحين من عبادكم وعبادكم إن يكونوا فقاراء يغنيهم الله من فضل if you're a poor Allah will provide you إن يكونوا فقاراء if they are poor الله تبارك واتعالى He will provide for them so Allah says إن يكونوا فقاراء if they are فقاراء مساكين يغنيهم الله من فضل الله will make them rich from himself but what did the eye begin to say وأنكحوا الأيام منكم marry off the girls that you have if a poor person comes to you don't worry Allah is going to provide it for you انه who why wouldn't Allah provide for him He is إن يكونوا فقاراء He is a person who wants to get married and he's trust so this my brother and sisters those of us who have daughters those of us who have daughters whose daughters are mature and they're with us and you see a brother who sincerely wants to get married then why would we hold back our daughters from marrying them off to these brothers why will we with the condition of course that our daughter is willing and wants to get married and she also doesn't mind us marrying her off to this individual so those are the two حديث إن شاء الله that I'm going to be speaking about in this series the first series إن شاء الله and those two حديث is الحديث الواردة حديث that have come أترغيبه في زواج أجيب بيبو تجعب معه anything which I had said that was wrong is from me as shaytan because Allah needs a message of free from it سبحانك اللهم بحمدك الشدوء اللى إله إلا الله استغفرك واتوب إليه