 How often do we hold ourselves back from all of the amazing things that we could do in this world because we're too busy talking trash to ourselves? Today we're going to be talking about how to destroy your negative thoughts and all of your negative thinking. All too often I see people sit back and say my life is the way that it is because of something and that something always tends to be something outside of them and then they're like oh you know it's my circumstances it's my parents it's the way I was raised it's my family it's my past it's my children's fault it's the president's fault it's the government's fault and they blame everything on something externally and one of the biggest things the biggest thing that I learned from my very first mentor when I was 19 years old is that if I want to change my life I need to take everything that's happening and just blame it on myself in a good way not in a bad way not in a way to make me feel bad but in a way of going you know what if everything is my fault it then empowers me to know that I am the one that's fully in control of my life because what you think in your head you will get in reality so if you're a negative person you have negative thoughts all day long what you think in your head you will get in reality if you are negative all day long I guarantee you you are gonna find more negative things in your life all day you literally create your reality let me give you an example of what I mean there's a part of your brain called the reticular activating system if you've never heard me talk about this this is super interesting the reticular activating system is your brain's filtering system and so at one point in time there's approximately two trillion bits of information per second that your brain could latch on to and have come into its awareness but your brain filters out everything except for 200 bits of information per second this is why if you go and you buy a new car you never see that car and then you buy it you're like holy crap this car is everywhere right I had an experience not too long ago someone that I knew from middle school passed away and I went back onto his facebook and I was looking through some of his pictures and seeing what he was doing and see what his life was and I didn't know anything about I haven't talked to him like 17 18 years and I saw a picture of somebody that I haven't seen in a while his name's Ryan that was pretty good friends with Ryan back in middle school and I didn't thought about him in like 17 18 years and then the very next day I was at a coffee shop and I was working getting my stuff done and I look up and I see a guy with a dog walking into the coffee shop I was outside the coffee shop and I was like oh my god that's Ryan I haven't seen him in so long and then I he turned around and I saw his face again I was like oh that isn't Ryan and I was so surprised because I realized that my reticular activating system because I had seen a picture of Ryan the day before saw him that day in somebody that wasn't actually him even though I hadn't thought about him in 17 18 years so what happens is the same way that I'm going to start seeing a car that I haven't seen before the same way that I'm going to see somebody that I haven't seen in 17 18 years and someone that's actually not them if I'm setting my reticular activating system on what sucks in my life if I'm setting it on all of the things that are negative in my life I'm going to start to notice more negative things which means like I said you literally create your own reality if I'm waking up and immediately going to what sucks I'm negative this day sucks I don't want to be awake then I'm going to create more negative things by just having negativity in my awareness if that negativity is circling in my awareness I will find more of that what you focus on you will get more of that's what happens with reticular activating system so if I'm thinking about negative thoughts all day long how in the hell am I going to figure out a way to be positive how am I going to be positive that's going to be really freaking hard isn't it because if I'm waking up and immediately going to negativity I'm going to find more negativity and so before I give you tips real quick on how to actually change that let me give you a couple of examples of the way negativity or positivity or anything works in your brain let me give you a couple of examples think about it this way let's say that I have a big old bucket of water into the right I have a flower bed into the left I have a flower bed on the right hand side is all positivity on the right hand on the left hand side is all negativity I have an option of taking the water that's inside of the bucket and pouring it into one of the two of them which everyone I put my water into it will grow those flowers or those weeds based off of how much water I put into it the water is the equivalent to your energy and your focus if I'm putting my energy in my focus into the negative stuff that that's around me in my day that will grow I will grow negativity weeds if that's what I'm putting my energy into if I'm putting my energy into the flower bed and my water into the flower bed that is what's going to grow you will not have something grow unless you water it but the water is your energy what are you putting your energy to are you waking up and saying woe is me and oh my life is this way because of my parents because of the government because of my circumstances because of this because of this because of this or are you going hey these are my circumstances but I'm going to take my energy I'm going to take this water and I'm going to pour it into positivity and find something that I'm grateful for find something that I'm positive for and something that I can appreciate because I know that what I appreciate appreciates so I'm going to focus on finding the things that actually I'm I'm happy with and that are going well for me the reason why this is important because you have to realize that humans are inherently negative let me explain why that is humans are inherently negative because negativity is bad our brain wants to search for things that are bad and the reason why is because our brain wants to solve the bad because bad 100,000 200,000 years ago meant death and so our brain wants to our brain the thing that it does more than anything else is its job is to keep us alive our brain cares about survival more than anything else so our brain is kind of like a negativity searching mechanism it's always looking for what is negative and what is bad around us because it wants to stay away from those things or pay attention those things so therefore we don't fall into that trap in die now I know that if you wake up and you start thinking about how you know you lost your job you're not going to die that you're gonna you're gonna hate what's going on that's for sure but what happens is your brain will seek out what is negative the reason why it seeks out what is negative so that therefore it can make sure that it avoids that thing because negativity means bad bad means death your brain wants to avoid anything that's bad and negative because therefore it means death so your brain will find the negativity automatically that's why if you want to be positive you better make sure that with every action that you take you're trying to find something that's positive because you're automatically most likely going to go to the negative and so people like why am I why do I have these negative thoughts that pop in my head automatically without me even thinking about them because that's what your brain is designed to do so if you want to be more positive you have to realize hey I gotta do everything that I possibly can to be positive knowing that my brain is going to go towards a negative now when my brain does go towards the negative what do I have to do I have to do everything that I can to pull myself out of that negativity knowing that that's just what's going to happen make sense your brain's naturally going to be negative if you're like most people which means that you're going to have to work harder to be positive but it doesn't mean that positivity is impossible just means a positivity and being positive and finding these you're grateful for takes work so you're gonna have to put the work in you also have to realize that sometimes what you're doing is you're actually searching for the negative things within yourself this is where it gets really difficult because what do a lot of us do we talk to ourselves in our head and we say things that's not positive we say things that's not motivating and we say things that we would never say to somebody that we love think of all of the negative things that you've said to yourself all of the you look fat in these jeans you're ugly look at that pimple on your face you're stupid all the things that you might have said to yourself in realize that you probably would never say any of those things of someone that you love right like if your friend called you and she had a really bad she's like yeah you know I was really into the guy and you know he said that that he he thought we'd be we'd be better off as friends you wouldn't go yeah well Stacy it's because you're you know you probably need to lose 15 pounds probably because your haircut probably because you don't look too good probably because you're not too smart like you'd never say that to your friend you'd be there and you'd be there support her right so why would you do that to yourself because how many people go on to a date or have something happen and go oh you shouldn't have said that that was stupid you shouldn't have spoke up at that meeting you're always so stupid you say the stupidest be quiet don't start don't don't say anything anymore oh that's why no one's interested in you because you're you need to lose 15 pounds because your hair looks stupid because that's it on your face how often do we talk to ourselves that way how often do we hold ourselves back from all of the amazing things that we could do in this world because we're too busy talking trash to ourselves you would never talk to someone that you love the way that you talk to yourself so why would you talk to yourself that way because ultimately the one person that you should love more than anybody else in the world is yourself because the more that you love yourself the better that you are the better that you leave the world the better that you interact with everyone else that's around you one video that I absolutely love that's that has to do with this my friend Jay Shetty made a video and he went you know sat down with some women who are in their late 20s early 30s and he said hey what I want you to do with the pen and paper is write down all of the negative stuff that you know you say to yourself all of the crappy things that you write it all down so they have a pen and paper and they're writing it all down they're writing it they're writing it and he goes okay what I want you to do is this come with me and he takes them into another room and they didn't know this but in the other room are their little sisters like 10 to 16 years old and he goes I want you to go ahead and say everything that's on that sheet of paper to your little sister and these women are like I there's no way I can't do that he goes why not he's like because that's why would I say that to a 10 to 16 year old girl like how bad is it to say something like that to them and then you realize that you're still that 5 10 16 year old person deep down inside and you're saying that to your little self all day long you would never talk to someone that you love the way that you talk to yourself so why would you talk to yourself that way what benefit has ever come from talking down to yourself ever what benefit has ever come from seeking out the negative in everything that's happening so what you have to do is you have to become very self-aware of when you start to do this you have to become aware number one that you might have a problem we all have problems in different ways but a lot of people have problems with the negativity side so if we're trying to destroy negative thoughts we need to first become very self-aware that we have a lot of negative thoughts and we need to pay attention to every single thought because what happens is a lot of times thoughts will come up we just act like they're just reaction they're just pop up there's pop up kind of like you know bubbling to the surface and we're not in control of them and then when they come up then we react to them so what do we need to do we need to become very self-aware of these thoughts if we want to change something we need to become aware of when this something that we want to change comes up and here's a tip that i'm going to give you to help you out with this try this for one week i know that majority people out here listening to me right now won't do this but if you're serious about becoming better at self-love about becoming better at appreciating yourself and finding more positive things and getting rid of the negative self-talk this is a challenge i want to give you go to a store Walgreens CVS whatever it is wherever you live in the world and get a little notebook like one of the ones that's like you know the size of your hand basically the one that'll fit in your pocket and i want you to for a week straight don't do this in your phone do with the pen and paper every single negative thought that pops into your head i want you to write it down with pen and paper don't type it i want you to write it down every single negative thing that you say and the reason why is because you're going to start to build awareness you can't change anything that you're not aware of and so i want you to take them from inside of your head to on a piece of paper and you're going to build this awareness and you're going to start to notice that when i do certain things i start to talk to myself this way when this happens to me i start to talk to myself this way and you'll notice and listen the thing i'm going to tell you is this if you're going to be doing this don't attach any emotion to this look at it as if you're just writing stuff down because the worst thing that could happen and i know that some people do this if i don't preface it this way you're going to write something down and then what are you going to do you're going to start to judge yourself for it you're going to start to shame yourself for it you're going to start to guilt yourself for it don't do that you're just going to take whatever is going on your head and you're going to put it down in a piece of paper and you're going to start to build awareness around all of the things that you say to yourself that are negative every single day because when it's in your head when it's in your head it doesn't seem real it's not tangible it's not something that you can hold on to in this world but when you take it and you actually write it down going from your head and putting it on a piece of paper and it's physical and you can hold it it becomes real and then you look at it and go wow yeah i don't i don't want to do this anymore i don't want to talk to myself anymore and you start to realize number one the negative stuff that you're saying number two what makes these negative thoughts come up maybe certain actions or certain feelings or certain people that you're around throughout the day make it come up and number three what you realize is that i can change this and writing it down makes it real and you're like you know what this is something that i'm going to take i'm looking i said 17 negative things to myself today these are all the things you look fat in that you look stupid you know you shouldn't speak up because you got a list whatever it is you say all of these negative things to yourself so the first tip i'm going to give you is write down every single negative thought for a week just the awareness will start to have you change your mind in the way that you are then what happens is you start to change that negativity and turn into positivity so that's the second tip whenever i notice a negative thought pop in my head that's one negative thought i'm gonna write it down my job is to now say three positive things to basically take that one thing and trump it with something that's even bigger so it's like if i have one negative thought i'm gonna have three positive thoughts and i'm gonna do this over and over and over and over again and by doing this you're actually starting to rewire and reprogram your brain you're not going to be the most positive person within seven days but if you do this for a while over and over and over and over again you're going to start to notice you're a lot more positive a person because you're starting to rewire yourself to be more positive and less negative so that's the second tip i'm going to give you about it first one write every single negative thought down number two whenever you get a negative thought you got to go ahead and take it and make three positive thoughts out of it after you write down and number three is to program yourself with gratitude and positivity from the beginning of your day the same way that if i were to get into my car right now i live in austin texas and i were to go you know what i'm going to go to houston texas what am i going to do i'm going to take my phone out i'm going to get my gps and i'm going to say okay here's my friend's address this is my intention is to go from austin texas to my friend mike's house in in houston and it will take me there i want to program myself in the morning set my gps every single morning to then get me to how i want to feel my morning routine is not just a checklist my morning routine is actually giving me up for how i want to feel for the day and so what do i do the first 15 minutes the very first thing i do i wake up i go to the bathroom i drink water i brush my teeth and then what do i do the first 15 minutes of my day 10 to 15 minutes i focus on what can i be grateful for and i just find things to be grateful for i'm not trying to find things to be grateful for just be grateful i'm trying to program gratitude into my brain what you appreciate appreciate so if i'm going to find more things to be grateful for i'm going to set that reticular activating system first thing in the morning then i'm going to find throughout the day more things that i'm grateful for i'm going to feel better and i'm going to create more things to be grateful for so the same way that if you wake up and you're me like shit i don't want to be awake i don't want to be here i wish i could just keep sleeping in i don't want to go to my stupid job you start off on negativity you're going to be more negative throughout the day i'm going to program myself knowing that my brain is naturally going to gear towards negativity to actually program myself and set myself up set my gps up to how i want to feel to be grateful and positive throughout the day so the third thing is to start every day with gratitude set your mental gps for how you want to feel because negativity is what you will gear towards but if you start setting your if you turn your ship and you want to go this way instead and you start focusing on things that you could be grateful for you'll find more things to be grateful for you'll be more positive and within six months a year or two years three years you notice that you're not the same person and the reason why is because you've changed yourself you've rewired your brain and you've changed yourself to find things to be grateful for and to make positive out of negative and you become an optimistic person when you used to be a pessimistic person so that is how you rewire yourself to destroy your negative thoughts to become a positive person hey thanks so much for watching this video if you want to learn even more about mastering your mind click right here and watch this video as well the little voice in my head i like to call it the little bitch oh there's that little guy nice try today cute oh i'm not gonna listen to you cute little guy i'm gonna put you over there in the corner how often does that voice hold my listeners back