 What's the difference between loving somebody and enabling them? The difference may not be as obvious as you think it is, but it's so important that we get it right as we seek to love people. Stay tuned. Hey guys, what's up? It's Isaac and this is The Daily Disciple where I hope you follow Jesus daily. I'm so glad that you tuned in for another video and subscribe down below because I'm putting out new videos all the time. Today, we're going to be talking about the fact that loving somebody is not the same as enabling them and enabling somebody is not the same as loving them. Let me get into it. So last week we had a conversation about toxic people. Should you cut out toxic people? And I wanted to emphasize the point that often what we consider to be quote-unquote toxic is not actually toxic. It's actually just our lack of a desire to love difficult people. And obviously I made clear that that does not include like abuse situations and that's where you are being hurt spiritually, emotionally, physically, any of that. Obviously that is actually toxic, but somebody that just doesn't fit your vibe. That's not toxic. That's just somebody that's more difficult to love. A negative person isn't somebody that you should cut out of your life. That's somebody that you need to love. But as we're talking about the kind of more nuanced conversation around loving somebody, toxic people, all that. The question of enabling comes up. What is enabling? Examples of an enabler is somebody that ignores or tolerates blatantly sinful behavior, covering up for other people, making excuses for them, avoiding the important issues, things that need to be addressed. I think for some of us, loving people has become synonymous with putting blinders up, like ignoring the bad aspects or the sinful or destructive aspects of another person that we just ignore those things and we just kind of formulate our own picture of what they look like in our mind in order to love them. Well, that's not good. That's not right. We shouldn't just ignore blatantly sinful behavior. We shouldn't just deny it or any of that kind of thing. That's enabling. Recently, I've been reading this book by Dr. John Townsend. In it, he talks about enabling people versus loving them. So make sure this, do not confuse the grace of being loving with the license of being enabling. Loving people don't put up with evil or foolishness. That is enabling and rescuing and it never helps anyone. Instead, people who are truly loving will confront, limit and quarantine people who are consistently making wrong choices. So keep that distinction in mind. Love seeks the best, but it does not enable bad behavior. Okay, so we're learning that love is not synonymous with enabling. Those two things do not work or coincide with one another. So let's read from 1 Corinthians 13 for famous passage in the Bible to actually discover what love actually is. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love does not envy or boast. It is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way. It is not irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices in truth. If you give your friend money to spend on something that you don't support, is that enabling them? Yes, it is because you are almost in a fact like rejoicing in the fact that they're doing wrongdoing by the fact that you are providing them the resources to do that thing. And the Bible says, look, we are not rejoice in those things. If you're continually digging your friend out of the problems that they're making for themselves, either due to irresponsibility or laziness or all that, you're actually not doing them a favor because you're enabling them to continue on that path of destruction. This is when we need to be really careful of a lot of nuance within this conversation because look, there's a lot of discernment that needs to take place. Blatant statements in terms of, oh, well, this is how much money you can give to a friend before it becomes a codependent relationship. This is how many times that they can do something that's wrong before you confront them. Look, like these things are complex and it takes discernment in each situation, but we need to be aware that, look, there is two sides to it. We can be the side of, you know, the last video that I was talking about. We can cut people off way too early and just like, you know, Sayonara, you don't fit my vibe. You're a negative person. You did that wrong thing to me that one time. Vamanous or whatever. Vamanous, whatever. Vamanous, what is that? Like goodbye. What am I trying to say anyway? Or you can be like that kind of enabling person where you're actually helping them go down this destructive path. Both of these ditches are not good, but there is a way that we can love people well. And this is the importance of boundaries because enabling somebody is you have no boundaries basically. You're just doing whatever they want you to do. You're going along with them. You're providing for them to follow in this destructive, sinful path, right? Or whatever it is. There's no boundaries, right? But you need to create some of those boundaries in order to say, Hey, look, I love you and I want the best for you, but I can't support you in this and I can no longer enable you in this. I can't deny your sin. I can't keep covering up for you because look, the truth, we have to rejoice in the truth, not rejoice in wrongdoing as the verse says. So where does this begin, right? As we're talking about loving people, as you're talking about enabling and boundaries and all that, it begins using the amazing tool that God has given us communication. Just communicating with the person that you're talking to having an honest conversation saying, Hey, look, this is where we line up. These are some of the things that maybe I was letting slide onto the wrong that are actually they need to be addressed because love limits quarantine. Sometimes I know that word has been like, well, quarantine, I don't want to be quarantined again, you know, but it guards itself from actually toxic people. So if this is an actually toxic person that is becoming like, oh man, they're actually having detrimental effects on my spiritual health and well-being. Look, distance needs to be created. But even if that person is just being destructive in like to themselves, you need to set up some boundaries, say, Hi, you know, I love you. I want the best for you. And this is why I'm not going to, you know, aid you in this destructive path. That's an important piece of loving them. See, loving people isn't just going along with whatever they want. It's actually going along with what God wants, because God knows what's best for them over what they think is best for them. God knows better than they do. And so if we're following God in this, if we're trying to love them as God loves them, because God just, God's not just going to be like, Oh, you know, Hey, do whatever you want. You know, I don't care. No, God's like, Hey, look, I want you to obey me. And he, yes, he's given, given us his grace and that is an amazing grace. But that grace isn't just licensed to go do whatever we want. And he's calling us back to himself. And that's what we ought to do. We got to call people back to Christ. And look, if they're an unbeliever, then we call them to Christ for the first times. Hey, this is not a good, healthy way to live your life. You're going down a destructive path. And I just want to say, Hey, this is where I'm standing. This is what I'm standing. I'm standing on the truth here. And I love you, but I can't support that. And that's an important thing to say within a relationship. That is an essential thing in loving people. Well, thank you so much to all my patrons on patreon.com slash daily underscore disciple. Those people help me out each and every month by supporting my ministry. And honestly, I couldn't be doing any of this without them. If you want to help support my ministry, it's five bucks a month. We are at 24 patrons right now, and we're trying to get to 50 by the end of the year. So if you could head on over to patreon.com slash daily underscore disciple, it would be an absolute blessing. And it would help me continue to do what I do on this platform, TikTok, Instagram, sharing the gospel with people. And if that's a message you want to get behind, head to the link in my description. Thank you so much for watching guys, and I will see you next time. God bless.