 Never have I ever gone three days without a shower. You've never gone three days without a shower? Like, that for me is like relaxing at home. What's going on with you, man? It's just like a dream. It's like, wait a minute, the wife's gone away. I've only got to go. I don't have to shower for three sweet smelling days. So that's just you existing in society. But also, in the sense that it's just 2018 Ian. Yeah, 2018, it's like, as soon as this film is finished, I am not showering. Yeah, yeah. You're just disappointed it was only three days, right? The record is full, the record is full. Never have I ever woken up in the same clothes as the night before and kept wearing them the next day? This is, I mean, you are so square. I don't know, I've wasted my life. What have you been doing? I'm like a borderline alcoholic, so I'm like, it's just like, not much I can do about that one, sorry. I call it a sleep and roll, you just get up and... If you're used to not showering for three days, the smell, you're like, well, that's pretty good. One day, absolutely fresh. Never have I ever got a piercing or tattoo that you regret? OK, I was going to get one for this film, because the character gets one. I only couldn't because we weren't able to get a big enough ring. I was up for it. I'm pretty passionately committed to my part, so I would do it. The only disappointment with this film was that Joe was going to get his nipple pierced and didn't because of various things. And he was up for it, totally up for it, and I was so excited. I was just, I was honestly almost like, it was like Christmas was coming and then somewhere in Christmas had been cancelled. Yeah. We had all the preamble meetings, though. Yeah, you met the, you know, you met the person who puts a bit of metal for your tit. Yeah, yeah. If this film does very well, and there's a sequel that's going to happen, will you get it for the sequel? Yeah, OK, yeah. If this film does so well, we get a sequel, we'll get a piercing. This is on camera. Yeah, yeah, that's fine. No, I will do that. I'll get one. Never have I ever peed in a bush or cut or on yourself because the toilet queue was too long. Just this is like, what? Luckily, my mum doesn't watch too much MTA in some other way. Oh, come on. I think never. I've never... I've never stood in a queue rather than peeing a bush. I've peed in a bush. I've peed in a bush. Yeah, sorry, OK, yeah. You're going to say you're very clean-cut. I think, to be honest, I'd rather... It's only because I don't even really think peeing in a bush is like, I think that's almost at a higher level because it's less horrible than peeing in the... I think if everybody did it, it would kill all the plants. It might do, you were casted. Never have I ever woken up after a boozy night with no memory. I had that terrible thing about my memory is quite good and so I get this horrible fear the next morning. I'm like, oh, no. And then over the day, they go, oh, no. The film's a bit like that, actually. You know? I don't. Drinking once or twice a year is good for you. Yeah, yeah, just kind of... One glass of red wine, two blackouts a year. Yeah, it's something like that, yeah. It's all research for the film. It's research for the film, yeah. Yeah, it's a method. Never have I ever fallen face first into mud. I mean, this is for the film. But I mean, I should say that, like, that was a mixture of mud and just literally cow shit because we were fulking out of basically a farm. So I think that does count. And also what I would say is that when they had a special bit of mud for my face, I basically had to eat some of it. The art department said, we've made like a chocolate thing for you to put your head into. And then at the last minute, they came over and they went, oh yeah, you know that chocolate thing? Yeah, it's not chocolate. It's some, what is it? Oh yeah, it's sausage thickener. But then also, they were like, I was like, doesn't quite look right. Can you put some mud in it? I don't have some mud in it. Basically, in the end, it was basically just mud. Yeah, it's like what leaks out the back of a sort of sausage factory onto the road. That was basically what I was eating with a bit of mud mixed in. Yeah, got a tetanus shot, didn't I, during the film? You had to get a tetanus shot because you ate the mud. Worryed about getting tetanus. I thought that had kind of gone out, hadn't it, tetanus? Which we were trying to bring it back, but you've ruined it. Yeah, it's back now. I'm like re-infecting. Wait, were you gagging the whole time that you were? It was freezing cold and just revolting in every way. I wasn't even, I'd just gone mad. I was just roaming up and down, bare-chested, being like, right, nightmare, shouldn't have to do it. Probably annoyed with the director, I imagine. Well, the trick in these situations is just a smile. Never have I ever spent a festival surviving purely on snacks and warm booze. Yeah, I think that's how you... That sounds quite good to me. Yeah. I mean... Contrary to what I said, I don't like hamburgers. When I go to a festival, that's pretty much all I eat. You can totally get through on, like, Haribo and, like, wine for three days. Never have I ever used someone else's toothbrush. Yeah, I mean, I think that's standard. When I... My family I grew up in, that wasn't even, like... They only had one toothbrush, seven of them, one toothbrush. We all had, I mean, I've... Yeah, there was my... There's four boys in my family, so we just... We used to just... The pants were communal pants as well. And our girlfriends would be like, can you just not just all share each other's pants with me? It's just weird, like, it's like you're belonging to a cult or something. The first time I met you, you were wearing your mum's jumper, I think. Yeah, actually, my mum's clothes were well... I am... Yeah. Also, four brothers wearing his mum's clothes. I said, you're the oldest, so... I'm the oldest, yeah. So I have that's, you know, that's how the chain works. But yeah, toothbrush. Mum, you. I thought that people getting saying they needed their own toothbrush was like... Bourgeois. Why do you think you're the queen or something? There's a line. I think some people were okay and some people were like, absolutely not. I think it's fine. It's absolutely not fine, but I will do it. Never have I ever worn stretchy like when I thought it was cool? I've never thought it was cool. I mean, I've worn it, but I don't think it's... I don't think it's cool. Okay. I think there's maybe a moment where you think maybe it is really cool. Maybe I'm the one guy who can wear it, but that turns out to be just another illusion of youth. Never have I ever tripped over some tent ropes that's not your tent... I mean, that's classic. Yeah, that's just like... Yeah. It's like the festival equivalent of stubbing your toe as well, isn't it? It's like, God damn no! Yeah, all the time. Yeah. And even when we were shooting, because we were shooting amongst all these tents, we'd sit down and everything, just constantly doing that. Yeah, it's so hard not to do it. I mean, it's just... It's... Yeah, the tent's so close as well. I mean, yeah, it's a nightmare. So can you tell me what's your funniest or most memorable moment from shooting? God, it was all very memorable, actually. I think probably the whole kind of... There's a big chase sequence where I was running around in my pants and that was so long. Day after day, I'd go in and on my costume rail, there was nothing apart from these pair of pants. And I'd be like, oh, God, another doomed day of just me waddling around in the mud in front of these just genuine members of the public. So because of the effort that went into that sequence, that was very memorable. Just literally you and your pants. There was quite a bit where we had... He has a mobile, he has a phone, and he's trying to kind of get this girl's number. And he's storing the phone in his pants. We didn't have a phone, so I was just using the producer's phone, which was quite funny because first of all, it was just literally just next to my penis. But also, the fact that he kept on receiving these kind of... Obviously, quite important calls from people who are funding the film. So I was like, yeah, I've missed that one, I'm afraid. I don't know. I don't know why all the phones, why we chose to use that one for that prop. I've no idea. I've got to ask, I've just seen the trailer. There's a scene in it where you're crying in bed and it looks like you're doing something else. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the cry-ranking, yeah. Oh, it's cry-ranking, because I was like, how do I approach this? It's the definitive crank was my... Crank, yeah. My dream was always to get the definitive crank on film. Why can't it be about happiness? It can be about all emotions. How awkward was it? How many times did you shoot it? And I made you rehearse it many, many times. Yeah, those rehearsals are weird. It was said they went over so long and like... It's been during my house. Yeah, yeah, why were you just filming it on your phone? It was weird. The dog took longer. It's a bit of a dog licks his face. Yeah, the whole sequence where he's in bed and he's like, I don't want to get out of bed. Like the... Actually, by far the worst bit was the head of a dog licked my face. And like, the dog was a lovely dog. I think there's a thing where when people are into like animal husbandry, they don't like wash the animals as much. So I think they're like, the animals probably don't like being washed that much. So all the dogs I've worked with for like a stunt, they're always quite smelly, like more smelly than like pet dogs. So maybe pet dogs are being overwashed or something. But like, this dog was a lovely creature, but it just didn't want to lick my face. And so it just took so long so that it was just loads of it, which is the dog on top of me, but not licking my face. And all I wanted was to, for the dogs to lick my face so I could get the scene done. And this dog was just so different about licking my face. It was like, it was like... We ended up pouring that pate on your face. I mean, it was just me and pate. As that pate was going on, I was like, well, that's it for me and pate. You've got loads of protein-based products. Yeah, it's such a tragedy because pate is such a nice food as well. And like, that now... It's a sausage pate a lot. Yeah.