 Winning has no loyalty to any of us. You can work hard. That doesn't guarantee you success. You can be the most qualified for an individual. Doesn't mean you're going to get that job. There are no steps, there are no guarantees. Winning, it doesn't care. What's up everybody and thank you for tuning in today for our interview with Tim Grover. Now we drop great content each and every week and we wanna make sure that you guys get notified. So make sure you smash that subscribe button and hit that notification bell. And if you're looking for more videos on leadership you can find them right there or high performance you can find them right there. And if there are topics you would like us to discuss on this show, make sure you put them in the comments and give us a like and show our videos with your friends. A piece of mainstream advice is to not be selfish. And what I get from the book and in listening to other shows is that- Why did I knew you were gonna go there? The role of selfishness in winning. And it's something that obviously when you look at all of these people and the sacrifices they make in their lives and the understanding of their values and their own personal goals in the pursuit of them there's no question there's selfishness involved. Of course they wanna bring everyone else along with them but they're doing it for them. They're not doing it for someone else. And you know, it's fun. The word selfish literally has self in it. It's self in it. What is wrong with when did taking care of yourself become a bad thing? I've never understood that. All right, when did that happen, all right? You know, and in order to separate yourself from others in order to have more power, to have more freedom, to have new levels of self winning requires that. It's funny. So we just put fancy names on the word selfish. We like to call it like me time or boys night out or girls night out or man cave. That's all self, that's all being selfish. So you tell somebody, hey, listen, from two to three, I meditate. I meditate. Everybody says, oh, that's so good for your health. Everybody needs to do more of that. Everybody needs to spend time by themselves. And then you're like, you tell somebody else, hey, between two and three, my phone is off. Don't talk to me. Don't bother me. I don't want to hear from anybody else. Now all of a sudden you're selfish. Well, what's the difference? What exactly, one just had a nice word to it. We do so many things for ourselves. Is working out selfish? Is eating better self, is eating better selfish? Is resting selfish? We do so many things. And the more you take care of yourself, the more you'll be able to take care of others. But if you don't care yourself, you're not gonna be able to take care of others. You look at all the most successful people that run businesses and so forth. They take care of themselves so they have more to give to the others. Now, if you just take care of yourself and you just take, take and take, that's a completely different type of selfish. But the winning kind of selfish is you win and everybody that's close to you, everybody else you want to win, they win also. Well, this brings up an interesting point then, Tim, because with such demanding clients, you certainly had to set up boundaries to take care of yourself dealing with their relentlessness and their selfish needs to be always better and to give them as much time as you did to be able to develop them. How did you set up those boundaries? Well, one thing about working with these athletes, you have a schedule. You know what time practice is. You know what time the games are. You know where they're going to leave. So you have to, whatever you want to be selfish is, you got to fit it in between, you got to fit it in between those times and be like, hey, this time is for me. It's for my time, for me to get better so I can perform better around these individuals. I have the ability to give back. And it's funny, a lot of those times, my selfishness was just taking a nap because they were, I had to be on call all the time and it's funny now, nowadays, it's become like, everyone talks like sleep deprivation is like this secret formula to success. Like you can't have sleep, you know what? Your body needs to recover. Your mind needs to recover. People always ask me, well, what's the best time to work out? I heard working out early in the morning is the best time to work out. I said, you know what the best time to work out is? When you can work out. That's the best time to work out. Because the advantages of doing something way early in the morning versus doing it in the afternoon are so small that it's not gonna make a difference to you. And plus, if you can give more effort in your workout and more focus in the afternoon, you're gonna get more results than if you did it than if you did it in the morning. Figure out, winning wants you to figure out what's your formula? What's the best way for you to do it? How many people you know that are? You gotta get up before the sun. And they get up before the sun and they've done absolutely nothing. And by the time 10 o'clock, by the time 10 o'clock rolls around, they're ready for a nap. If you don't function early in the morning, don't do it. That's the, those people are the ones that we talk about. They are trying to manage time instead of managing focus. We drop great content each and every week and we wanna make sure that you guys get notified. And in order to do that, you're gonna have to smash that subscribe button and hit that notification bell. And if you've gotten a lot of value out of this, make sure you give us a like and share our videos with your friends. What jumps out at me is in order to win, you have to understand yourself at a deep level. You have to be honest and reckon with yourself. This book is not seven steps to winning. It's not a four step process or formula that is cookie cutter for everyone. You handled Jordan and Kobe and Dwayne all differently because they understood themselves and their needs and then you pushed them beyond to get to that greater level. So many of us are walking around not even willing to reckon with who we are, understand ourselves, to listen to our own body, to listen to what's going on inside of us. We're looking for the answers outside of us. We're looking for someone else to copy or some other formula to follow or some shortcut. And the book is not about shortcuts. It's about understanding yourself at a level and getting into the motivation beyond just showing up, beyond just doing it again and understanding that in order to really win, there are sacrifices involved. There is no shortcut to be had to winning. No, yeah, and when you make sacrifices, you're gonna upset people. You really are going to upset people. And the reason when I was writing that when myself and my co-author Sherry Wankler writing this book, it was funny. Everybody was telling us, you know, the most successful books that are out there are the ones that give you steps that tell you five steps to this, ten steps to that. And I'm like, well, we're not putting steps in this book because to me, those steps are infinite. Those steps are infinite and they're constantly changing. There is no easy steps to success. Those steps are constantly moving. They're constantly changing. Sometimes they disappear right underneath our feet, but we have to know that they are there. We have to trust that there is a next step. And you can't always climb those steps. Sometimes you gotta demand. Sometimes you just gotta sit down and take a breath. Sometimes you gotta crawl up those steps. You gotta run, you gotta hop, whatever it takes. And it's funny, once you get to that top step and you look back down and you realize you're still on that first step and you look back up there. So those steps never, never change. Just like I said, for yourself and for me, once this podcast is over with, you got to those steps. And now when your next guest or your next podcast, those steps are constantly infinite. They constantly keep going. And think about with all the technology that's going on, all the steps that you may miss. This person's microphone is not working. This person's Zoom, the internet is bad, all this. People don't plan for those steps. Your life is that way. No one planned for the pandemic. That was a step no one saw coming, all right? That was something that no one saw coming. If you lived your life based on steps by the time the book was published, it'd be a new set of steps. Yes, yes. Everything is evolving and changing. By the time they hit print, those steps would be irrelevant. Yes. I'm looking to just follow someone else's path. I'm just going to be Michael Jordan. I'm just going to be Kobe. I'm just going to be this executive I look up to. Elon Musk, whoever it may be, the steps that they took are different than the steps that you have to take. Exactly. Those steps were relevant to them. It's not relevant to you. Yes. And winning has no loyalty to any of us. You know, you got individuals, you can work hard. That doesn't guarantee you success. You can be the most qualified for an individual. Doesn't mean you're going to have, you're going to get that job. You can put out the best content. Doesn't mean you're going to be the highest rated podcast. And then you listen to the highest rated podcast and you're like, really? You're like, okay. You know, it works for them. So there are no steps. There are no guarantees winning. It doesn't care. It doesn't care. You have to figure it out. And the key word is, you know, what Johnny and what AJ, what you both said, it's you. It's about understanding yourself. You spend so much time understanding everybody else. You spend so much time understanding a TV series or understanding what's going on or understanding a plot that's happening in there. Well, so what happens is you start to write everybody else's story and you forget that you have the ability to write and change your own story. And that's what winning wants you to do.