 Welcome to Out of the Comfort Zone. I'm Arby Kelly, your host, and you are watching Out of the Comfort Zone on OC16 Television. Now, you've got a really, really cool guest today. But first, I want to start you out with the body language tip of the week. Now, if you pay attention, you will see me do this all the time. This is called a nervous gesture. Nervous gestures, all right, are when you feel nervous. Maybe you are a little bit uncomfortable sitting next to someone you don't know, talking about something you're not sure, maybe you're giving a speech. And when you feel nervous, your brain is like, uh-oh, something's going wrong, calm me down. And so what your brain does is it signals you to start using nervous gestures. These are also called pacification gestures, self-soothing gestures. Basically, what you do when you're nervous is, every time you start to feel nervous, your brain tells you to do something that releases oxytocin. Oxytocin is a chemical that makes you feel soothed, makes you feel better. Every time you pet an animal or cuddle with your spouse or hold hands with a friend, anything like that, you're releasing oxytocin and it makes you feel connected. It makes you feel safe. But when you're nervous, what you do is you will start to like rub yourself to release oxytocin. So if you've ever seen anyone doing nervous gestures or like fiddling with their stuff or playing with their jewelry or like rubbing their hair, these are all nervous gestures. Alright, so I know there are a lot of holiday dinners coming up. Maybe some of you are meeting an in-law or a boyfriend or girlfriend for the first time for the family. And so if you watch, I bet you will see these nervous gestures all the time. So anytime you see someone start touching themselves unnecessarily like I'm doing right now, any type of hair rub, face touch, hands, anything like this, any kind of self-fidgety thing, that is a nervous gesture and it means they're nervous. So that means you can either be nice about it and help them relax or you can make them even more nervous. That's up to you. But that is a nervous gesture and for your body language tip of the week, look for nervous gestures. Now onto our book of the week before we get to our super cool guest. This is called Get the Truth. Alright, and I love this book. It comes in two. There's one Get the Truth and there's another about the actual body language. But former CIA officers teach you how to interrogate people and this is the kind of interrogation that is totally illegal and acceptable in court. Where you just sit down and you talk to them and you get them to tell you what you want to know. Without lying to you, without hiding things, this book teaches you how to get your teenager to tell you if they've been experimenting with drugs, if your spouse has been cheating on you. If someone's hiding something, check out this book Get the Truth. You'll find it on any major book retailer and it is awesome. One of my favorites. So check it out. Alright, now let's get on to the best part of this show. I have a really, really cool guest today. Her name is Katie Kopesky. Hi, Katie. Hi. Thank you for coming. I'm really happy you're here. Yeah, me too. Good. Well, Katie, what exactly is it that you do? So the reason I'm here today is to talk about the crisis text line. I'm a volunteer crisis counselor. Been doing that for about a year and a half and I'm thrilled to talk about this opportunity for other people if they want to volunteer but most importantly to talk about this awesome resource. Awesome resource. Alright, so is this a hotline? Yeah, so good question. A hotline is typically associated with a phone number that you would call into. Most national and states have some sort of hotline. But we're different because we're a text line. So we understand that the youth of our nation and like a lot of people are really comfortable with texting. So we were the first-ever text hotline, if you will. So crisis text line. Interesting. So a text line. Yeah. Alright. Alright. Why is it so special that we have a text line? Yeah, so we're basically meeting people where they're at. Right. This is a very common form of communication, especially with our youth. And how it started was it came out of another organization called dosomething.org. And if your audience isn't familiar with that, it's basically the largest nonprofit for youth and social change. So people can log on and find out in their local area how they can help stop animal abuse or help out the environment. So how they were letting people know about these upcoming events was via email. And then they decided to change that to text messages. Well, their rate of people helping out increased phenomenally. Wow. Which was great. But there was also this unexpected response. So every time they would text out about a local event, they would get responses like, I don't want to go to school tomorrow. I'm being bullied. Or I just started cutting again. And my parents found out. And an actual text message that they received was he won't stop raving me. It's my dad. He told me not to tell anybody. Are you there? So when Nancy Lovelin, the CEO, found out about that, he said, we have to do something about this. And she created crisis text line. Wow. That got real heavy real fast. Yeah. And I think a lot of us forget that these are real situations that people have to deal with that. This is actually going on in our lives. And I know. I know personally, I don't really like calling people. So anytime I could text instead, that would be so much easier. Yeah, absolutely. So they were already doing it essentially, they weren't soliciting these types of responses. So the fact that people are already comfortable texting back with this made it natural. So since they started back in August of 2013, we've exchanged almost 55 million text messages between people in pain and crisis counselors like me, nationally. Wow. So I'm talking about the whole nation, not just Hawaii, but I can talk about Hawaii too. Wow. Yeah. That is huge. It is huge. So aside from just texting, why else would people feel comfortable talking to your crisis counselors? I mean, I know a lot of people are like, I don't want to admit that I have a problem or it sounds scary to reach out to someone. Yeah. So there's actually a lot of benefit to just texting versus saying something. It's a little bit easier to be vulnerable in a texting format versus a speaking format. And because we're a confidential service and we're free and available 24 seven, if it's 3am and you don't want to wake your roommate if you're in college or if you don't want to call a parent, we're an easy accessible service. We get to people on average and under five minutes, which is pretty quickly. The other cool thing about our service is the anonymity like we talked about, we're strangers helping strangers. So sometimes it's easier to tell kind of a random person things that are going on versus someone who you're not sure exactly how they're going to respond when you tell them about being beaten by your father when you were young or the fact that you have an eating disorder. These are kind of uncomfortable topics. And sometimes a stranger is actually an easier person to share that with. I know that sounds weird, but 63% of our Texas textures tell us something for the first time. Wow. So the data shows us, you can just imagine how how hard it would be to keep that thing inside. I mean, all of us have had some kind of secret or like something that happened to us that we wanted to talk about. But if it's something big like that, that you desperately want to get help with, but you don't know who to talk to, you don't know where to go. Having this text line of qualified professionals who can just be there is incredibly helpful. Yeah, and that's exactly how I feel as a crisis counselor. This is a really beautiful thing that I get to do. I feel honored. I feel grateful that I get to be the receiving part of that. I mean, it's it might sound a little weird, but it's really, it's really a beautiful feeling knowing that I got to be that person to listen and to empathize. And most importantly, talk to them about coping strategies, talk to them about longer term resources that they can use, right? So we're just a short term service. Our conversations last about 45 minutes, we're really just trying to move people from a hot moment to a cool calm. And once we've gotten people a little bit more stable, then we start talking about how they can continue to take care of themselves. We really want to empower them moving forward. I love that. I love that. So it's not just a kind of text people and tell them about your problems. It's a text people, tell them about your problems, and then get help so you can fix your problems. Absolutely. And we have a bank of resources and referrals and national nationwide, because we don't know where people are texting in from. So as a crisis counselor, I'm operating from my computer, right? So people aren't texting my personal cell phone number, that would be scary. So we have a platform that's secure. And that's how I respond. So people text in from wherever they might be in New York, they might be in Florida. I don't know. And so that's why we have resources that are nationwide that people would have access to. That's awesome. So nationwide resources. And you have people texting in nationwide. Exactly. So I know when we were talking earlier off camera, you mentioned Hawaii was a really important part of this national text line. Can you explain that? Yeah, absolutely. So because we're getting people from all around the nation, Hawaii has a significant time zone advantage. So here, if I'm hopping on for my shift at 6pm, that's 11 o'clock on the East Coast time. And as you might guess, nighttime is definitely when the struggle bus gets real. That's when all those reflective thoughts about the day and that you failed that exam, or you just got dumped, and now you don't have somebody else to reach out to the nighttime is when we're utilized the most frequently. So because it's only 6pm here, we can stay on until 11 or 12 o'clock at night and we've covered the entire nation. So our 33 crisis counselors that we have here in Hawaii are super awesome for being willing to do that and helping really the rest of the United States get through those tough times in the wee hours of the morning, but it's only seven o'clock for us. So it doesn't have to interrupt our beauty sleep. And we all need that, right? Yes. We need more. We need more crisis counselors here. Alright, so how did how did you become a crisis counselor? Yeah, so the honest answer is I was bored. So I was in between jobs and my background in psychology and I wanted to give back. I wanted to do something with this degree with this experience that I had in working with people. So I was looking for a meaningful way to give back. And I really loved when I found out about crisis text line, I really loved the mission, its purpose of strangers helping strangers. And honestly, the comfort of being in my own home, online training to get me ready to handle this tough stuff. It was all very convenient. It was all self paced. I get to choose my schedule. So it's just a win win all the way around. And I love it. It's a great community of people. We're all, you know, empathy MVPs is what we're called. And we're really the heart of crisis text line, we're very much cared for by this organization. That is awesome. Yeah. It just from watching you talk about that your whole face lit up. It sounds like you absolutely care about this, this organization and this organization is absolutely caring about you. Yeah, so there's 3,600 of us nationwide. And like I said, 33 here in Hawaii, tiny amount. Yeah, exactly. I mean, we're not solely responsible, but we're definitely encouraged to take on those late night hours so that we don't have to interrupt our sleep schedule. While you know, people in DC are staying up until 3am their time. That makes sense. Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. Alright, well, we are going to take a really quick break, but we will be right back in just a couple minutes. Stay on this channel OC 16 television. This is out of the comfort zone with Katie Kepesky. And I'm your host, Arby Kelly. Welcome back. Glad you're on the right channel. This is OC 16 television think tech Hawaii out of the comfort zone. I'm your host, Arby. And I'm here with Katie Kepesky. Thank you, Katie. Alright, so I know we've been talking off screen without you, but it's okay. We still love you. When we were talking, we talked about how the crisis tech line is collecting data. What kind of data are they collecting and why? Yeah, so basically think about every conversation that we're having. It's 40 about 40 messages interchange. That's all usable, interesting data that we can give back to the public. So I can tell you things like 75% of our textures are under the age of 25. Can tell you that only 58% of them identify as straight. Can tell you that our top issues are depression, anxiety, self harm. So that's nationwide. That's interesting information for us to know kind of as a big snapshot. But for Hawaii, we over index in issues surrounding the military issues like physical abuse. So that's really interesting for local policymakers for administrators. We can look specifically at Hawaii data. And let's say I was a principal, and I was concerned about eating disorders in my school. So I can look specifically at that topic and I can see that Sundays is the day that people text in most about eating disorders. And I can say, huh, well, I'm going to have a school assembly on Fridays about eating disorders. And let's see if that changes or drops off. So this is meant to be actionable data for people to try to curb these icky things that are happening state and nationwide. And it's not like you're compiling data to say, Oh, Mary from third period has a disorder. No, it's just from this age group, this percent of people seem to be struggling with eating disorders. So here's a way you can use the data and actually help people. Absolutely. Yes. So we don't you're absolutely right. So we're looking if you want to get technical, we're looking at aggregate data, right? So it's stripped down of any of that personally identifiable information and just to further clarify that. So when I get a text message, it's like anonymous 235. So I never see anybody's name or where they're from or anything like that. And so all the data is just really percentages that people can look at at crisis trends.org. So that's separate from crisis text line, which is where we're talking about our service, but crisis trends.org is where people can get access to that data. Interesting. Can you tell me anything else about the trends here in Hawaii? We've had 5000 textures since we've launched. And like I said, we have 33 active crisis counselors. That's about all I really know to be honest with you, RV. If someone is wanting to look at the data, look at the trends. They can do that at crisis trends.org. Yep. Absolutely. That's really cool. Yeah, it is neat. And what are some other situations or topics that you've seen people text about? And I just want to go through this so that our viewers, if there's anything that pops out to you that you've dealt with or you're dealing with or you know someone who's dealing with, you know where to go for help. Yeah, great question. So we don't actually define what a crisis is. And because of that, the variety of topics, the variety of conversations that I've had in the year and a half of doing this is pretty wide. So things that I talked about earlier, you know, cutting, depression, suicide, anxiety, school related stuff, eating disorders, finances, sexuality, gender, people being concerned about coming out to their parents. Suicide, depression, anxiety are kind of our top three. But there's always other things that are driving that. So if I'm feeling like I want to kill myself, I just didn't randomly have that thought, there's probably other stuff going on. So typically in a conversation, there's probably probably two or three main topics that are kind of driving this overall reason for why people are texting in. Some of the other stuff is, unfortunately, child abuse or neglect or domestic violence, rape, sexual assault. So we see, like I mentioned, a wide range of the yuck that's out there. But again, we're hoping to empower people to find those more ongoing resources so they can really help themselves. And is it just the people who are going through these crises that you help with? Or do you also, like, if I was a mom and one of my sisters was struggling with something, could I text and be like, I don't know how to deal with this? You know it's not my problem. Absolutely, that's a wonderful question. So we would call you a third party texter. That's how I would code you. So yeah, we get that a lot, especially for people, if they're really worried about a friend that's suicidal, a lot of people don't exactly know how to respond, what to say, what not to say, what resources to give them. So we do see that a lot with suicide, but other topics as well. So we can be a resource for them. We're also going to encourage you to encourage your friend to text in as well so that we can help them and give them more direct advice as well. That's awesome. Yes. That's incredible. Yeah. So what, other than, you know, helping to save lives, why else would people want to volunteer? Yeah, I mean, so I think we all come from this, like, we have a big heart. We want to help people. It's a easy way to be able to give back because it's all done from the comfort of your home. In order to become a crisis counselor, step number one, fill out our 30-minute application. We really just want to get to know you as a person, why you're interested in becoming a crisis counselor, how you respond to these types of situations. Are you comfortable talking about kind of these heavy topics? Do you have any experience? No experience required. You'll go through training eventually. Oh good. I was starting to think, okay, my next question is for those of us who have no idea what we're doing, if we still wanted to help. Absolutely. What kind of training would we go through? Yeah, so once you fill out that application, everyone has to be 18 and consent to a background check. Once you've passed that, then we have a 34-hour online training. It kind of is like, it's a group of people, it's a cohort going through at the same time. So you may get accepted and then start the next day or the next month, or maybe you're like, hey, I'm going to go on vacation. So I want to start in March. So you get to decide and then it's about four hours a week. And it's going to start off with talking about like, what are our basic guidelines, our general tips for having conversations with people in crisis? It's a different type of conversation to have. We talk a lot about self-care. We're giving a lot of ourselves in these conversations. We're walking in their shoes for some really tough stuff and that can wear on us. Compassion fatigue is a huge thing that happens in any mental health field. So one of the main topics that we talk about in the very beginning of training is, how can you help rejuvenate yourself? Because we need you. We need you to come back week on, week out. And then those topics that I mentioned before will do kind of a deep dive on each of those topics and specific ways to respond. So when I was done with training, I had like ten pages worth of notes. And when I first started as a crisis counselor, I had all that stuff spread out in front of me so that I could have something that I could go to. But here's the thing, you're not alone as a crisis counselor. When you log on to the platform, you're there with other crisis counselors. We have supervisors that are there to give us help when we're like, ah, I don't know how to respond. So you're never alone during that process once you're actually in it. Wow. I'm just like, tell me more. I can tell you are. I go ahead. We've got a little bit more time. Yeah, so there's probably around 30 crisis counselors on at the same time as me. And we have this chat mechanism. So I've been able to chat with people around the nation and get to know people that I would have never normally met that I'll have the same passion. Our supervisors are all have master's degree in psychology or social work. We've got some with PhDs as well. So while we don't need to come in with any specific experience, the people that are watching us and keeping us on track absolutely do. So you can't actually break people when they text in. You're just going to help. Okay. That's reassuring. Yeah. So do you have to go in and like work all at the same place? Is there a central place where you go bring your computer to log on? So I just log on to my laptop. So I just do it from home. We have done like a meetup with some of our local crisis counselors here where we got together at a classroom down at UH. One of our crisis counselors is actually a teacher at UH. And so she was able to get us a classroom. And so five or six of us got together. And that was a really cool experience because I got to say out loud, Hey, I have this person who's struggling with this. What's a good resource? And I just got immediate feedback from my peers right then and there. So it was a super neat experience to do that. Instead of chatting with another crisis counselor on my computer, I just got real time instant feedback. And there's also something just special about being in a room with other people doing what we're passionate about. So it was really awesome. So it sounds like you can check on at home in your pajamas, wherever you are, whatever you're doing and help. But you can also arrange to meet with other counselors. Yeah, absolutely. Wow. And so it's about four hours a week that we ask for people to commit to. But we understand life gets crazy. We're going into the holiday season. So we understand people are going to go on vacation. So we ask people to speak like specific times that they can give us. But if it doesn't work out that week, just shift it. So it's no worries. No worries. It sounds like it you've made it as easy as possible to volunteer. Yes. And so if you do want to volunteer, go ahead and go to what's what's the so crisis text line dot org crisis text line dot org and it's right on your screen. You can see it right there. Crisis text line dot org slash volunteer and just check it out. Start filling out the application. Maybe that could be your Christmas present to the world. And based on everything we've talked about, it sounds like the world could use a lot more. Absolutely. And on the holiday season is tough for people. Yeah. So we're getting into it a little bit of a higher volume time as well. So we need to know this is the perfect time. Yes. All right. So get out there throughout that application and start to make a difference. Thank you, Katie, for coming in. All right. We're closing up the show. I'm really glad you came in. I really enjoyed this. Thank you so much. It's my honor. Good. All right. Everyone, this is out of the comfort zone. You're on OC 16 television think tech Hawaii. And I am your host, RB Kelly. Christmas is coming up. But I hope you are having a wonderful week. Take care of yourself. Take care of your family. And always make today better than yesterday. See you folks. Bye.