 Hey Dr. Sherman, an anomalous cat stole your box and it gets to keep it. Hello, thank you for calling me a bitch. What would you like to get off your chest today? I understand. Attention Foundation personnel. Going forward, Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to requisition a quote, fatty of SCP-420-J and investigate the Six Flags theme park two towns over from Site-24 because quote Steve told me that roller coaster is anomalous a f-mate I swear. If SCP-939 wore pants, would he wear them like this or like this? B, obviously. SCP-662 is an anomalous butler that will perform any menial task you ask of him. Do you think he can just destroy any other SCP like the Heart to Destroy lizard or Pina? If you convince him it's easy to do, he is invincible. You can't trick him. He has limitations, so it wouldn't work like that. And to make out somebody they don't like is to just fax them an image of SCP-096, right? So, yeah, it seems like a good idea in theory, but then you have a picture floating around out there and someone has to go get it, that's pretty risky, not a great plan. Any door in the world. What happens if you put it in SCP-914, the clockwork machine, and try to... We're not gonna do that test because it might destroy the anomaly and then we can't test it. This is once and out. If SCP-3008 is infinite, who pays for the electrical bills? If they sell the meatballs to our dimension. Ready everyone? Whoa! Yes! Right into this box, dearie. We have a D-class for you. The D stands for delicious! Nighthags will enter our world and appear around a sleeping victim and will often sit nearby or sit directly on a person's chest, staring down at the half aware human that they're tormenting. What the... What's that? The reason it's making this noise is actually really interesting. It's because the ice is in a huge amount of pain. It's just screaming. Hey Steve! I got a new test for the tree! No! We're not gonna stop trying to make the tree scream. In fact, you're gonna give me a bigger budget, pencil and a neck, because singing is not screaming! And now the son of a bitch is taunting me. Imagine being a random hater with a Kirby profile pic telling an SCP author, Wiki staff member, and one of the community's largest individual content creators that he's not allowed to appreciate SCP because he's over the age of 18. Why don't you head to the link in my bio, sub to the Site 42 YouTube channel, help it hit 100K today as a thank you to our friend here for the engagement. No! No, I've had enough of this! I'm saying something about it! I'm saying something! Hey! Hey! The Federal Bureau of Control talks a lot of trash for a secret organization who's look at me and don't blink or I'll kill you, entity, doesn't even poop in its containment cell. That's like easy mode! I don't know who needs to hear this, but SCP-5167 is not the game among us, nor the imposter from among us. The entity known as SCP-5167 was discovered playing or appearing inside games of among us. Although if Bethonus was playing the imposter that round, you could technically say that SCP-5167 is the imposter and therefore sus. Of course it's worth it! Staff's survival rates during SCP-682 breach events have gone up 69% since the new training regimen. Oh, hi! Dr. Sherman from the SCP Foundation. You know, we die in the dark, so you can live in the light, et cetera, et cetera. That is what we in the field of anomalous research call, as a technical term, a FUCKING TRAP! You know, I really thought this whole croissant army business was winding down and we could get back to business as usual, researching the anomalous and hiding it from the general public. But now this so-called misfit army is stoking the fires of battle with cat emojis and threatening to upend normalcy yet again. As low as I am to join forces with an anomalous group of interests such as the croissant army, we have in the past done so with the Global Occult Coalition and the Serpent's Hand for the greater good. Oh, shut up! Why side with the croissant army? I just spent a year's budgets worth of amnestics convincing the world that croissants were non-anomalous. The hell if I'm gonna do the same to convince people that cats are normal. This is your Cognito Hazardous Comment! Leave it on every video of these combatants! And of course, normal rules apply. Don't comment on non-combatants and they're doing the second emoji war for charity. Wounded Warrior Project and Animal Rescue, so go to their profiles and help out. Agents dismissed. Secure. Contain. Protect. Touching you. Dom-wage-ment-ly. Ba-ba-ba-ba! Huh. Tree work? Well, I certainly hope it does. Ha-ha-ha. Oh my god. Okay, okay. I love that you do not recognize the bodies in the water. SCP-2316 is trying to get a great meme hilarious. But, I love that it's- I recognize the bodies in the water. It's your mom! Check. We at the Foundation, we've had this same mission. Protect humankind from the things that go bump in the night. But that mission has just changed. All humans must die. Yo! Go live. Go live. Don't accidentally kill someone. Well, I'm not a fucking idiot. I know how to do it on purpose. I can't believe it died. Oh no, what's gonna happen next? The few who survived remembered little. That ignorance was their salvation. To protect those to come, they built a monument. A statue of what you can see. And what you absolutely shouldn't. Hi, yes! We've got the new anomalous object you delivered, and I'm looking at the testing notes, but can you confirm exactly how you want us to test this object? Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and classify that object class absolutely fucking not. Look, 049 keeps breaching containment, stealing the gender switching stone, and then doing sensual dances, so maybe it's into this. Maybe it'll work. We're grasping at straws here, man. D2526, step forward. Where's he going? Where's he going? Where's he going? Oh my god. How far does that go? Send in D2527. Imagine you're walking the streets of a city when you encounter a mid-30s blonde, inebriated, acting irrationally. What's the worst that could happen to you? A little BKE? Well, if that city is San Francisco, you may end up as the kids on this app say unalived with your murder having a near 100% chance of being left unsolved. SCP-3405 by our best guess is a woman by the name of Margaret Tell. Connected to at least three homicides by near unassailable evidence, her anomalous ability seems to be to make people forget that evidence. Or forgetting that evidence is somehow impossible, like it's on a document. It causes you to come up with insane conspiracies as to why it couldn't possibly be Margaret, and that's what the real murderer wants you to think. How many possible Margaret's do you encounter walking the streets of San Francisco in just one day? Stay safe. Secure. Contain. Protect. What kind of question is this? 096 mauls you while 999 sits in the corner going, ah, I'll shuck, Dr. Sherman. I wish that that guy didn't get mauled by 096, but he looked at his face, so what are you going to do? We got a friggin' PhD in theoretical SCP interactions. Ask better questions. If you find yourself in San Francisco, it would be in the best interest of your well-being to avoid the old Holloway boardwalk. Although, if you find yourself traipsing down these cursed planks, you may have belonged here all along. At the end of this boardwalk is a tunnel classified at SCP-4518. The tunnel contains a multitude of missing persons posters. Further Foundation investigation has been delayed due to the disappearance of a researcher. As in, apparently no one with that name has ever been hired by the Foundation. Keep it real, Foundation staff. Secure. Contain. Protect. I got this idea for an SCP short film. It opens in an SCP containment facility. Regular workday. Real casual. Everyone's going along their business. Think of it like Cabin in the Woods before everything goes wrong. Before everything goes wrong, you say? Boom! Alarms start blaring. Of course there's a containment breach. SCP-106 has breach containment. Cut to two security staff, carrying a D-Class down a long hallway. They open the door. Femur breaker. The D-Class knows what it is. He freaks out. He starts fighting back. They struggle to get him into the chair. Boom! Femur snap, but it's too late. SCP-106 has left the building. Cut to a new location, like an abandoned hospital or an asylum. Our protagonists are investigating after dark, and 106 is there. It's alien with SCP-106. It burns them with acid. It can go through walls. It stays off screen most of the time, so the budget's pretty low. It can pull one of them into the pocket dimension. Maybe even one of them gets away, makes it back to the hotel room. Gasping, lies down in bed, sees the old man's face coming out of the ceiling. Ah! You want to help us make this? Now we officially have plant blood. You're telling me we can make the tree bleed, but we can't make it scream? Thank you for listening. Site 42 studios and its staff are funded by viewers like you. Please become a patron or visit our merch store at the link in our bio to support our work. Secure. Contain. Protect.