 J-E-L-L-O! The Jell-O program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston and Phil Harrison, his orchestra. The orchestra opens a program with Hooray for Hollywood from Hollywood Hotel. Summertime is salad time, and Jell-O makes the most delicious and attractive salad you ever serve to your family. There are dozens to choose from, crested tomato salad made with cucumber and celery and tomato molded in shimmering lemon Jell-O. Or try crisp raw carrots in a tempting mold of bright orange Jell-O. Then there's that summer favorite, melon and lime Jell-O salad. Or you'll think of any number of grand and easy Jell-O salad combinations with fresh vegetables and fruits. Just be sure to make your salads with genuine Jell-O, or Jell-O's extra rich fruit flavor blends perfectly with a delicate fresh taste of fruits and vegetables. You'll find a grand variety of recipe suggestions on the different Jell-O packages. You can see them at your grocers tomorrow. Remember, there's only one Jell-O, so look for the big red letters on the box. They spell Jell-O. Hooray for Hollywood played by the orchestra. And now, ladies and gentlemen, for the last time this season, we bring you our master of ceremonies, a man whose salad fort is still a famous seat, and not only does the salad fort stand apart, but the center in being dark is made of salad and the famous seat of our salad fort, Jack Benny. Well, Jell-O again, this is Jack Ralsframs talking. And hey, Don, what's the idea? What was that all about? Well, I'll tell you, Jack, this being our last program, I thought I'd hand you a little surprise, so I had a friend of mine introduce you. Well, you surprised me all right, but say he's a kind of a screwy guy. What does he do anyway? He's a test pilot for revolving doors. Oh, well, that explains it. But at that, Don, I kind of wish you would introduce me tonight. You know, this is the last time this gang of ours will be chatting together for a 13-long week. Well, that's right, Jack. Makes me feel kind of sad. Me too, Phil, but then we shouldn't be so gloomy about it. After all, we'll all be together next season. Not at these prices. As a trouble with you, Phil, all you think about is money, women and money. There's no use thinking about women without it. Yeah, man. Anyway, Phil, what do you need with more money? Gee, you spend it right and left. Look at that suit you've got on. I bet it cost you at least $85. Yep, I walked up two flights and got hooked. Just the same, you'll be back with me next season and without a raise. Oh, by the way, Jack, where are you going on your vacation? Have you made any plans? Well, Don, I didn't know what to do this summer, so after thinking it over, I finally decided to go to Spain. Spain? Why, Jack, you don't want to go to Spain. There's a war going on. There is, darn that travel agent. But, Jack, you should have known about it. It's been in the papers every day. On the theatrical page? No. Well, it's a wonder Luella Parsons wouldn't say something about it in her collar. Say, Jack, when you pick up a paper, don't you read anything but the theatrical page? Well, yes, I do. I should think that a fellow like you would try and keep up with current events and know what's going on in the world. Well, I do. I can tell you, every move Dick Tracy has made in the last five years. Don't tell me about current events. Never mind the funny papers. What about the front page? Well, you know anything about the adjournment of Congress? Do you know anything about the China-Japanese War? Well, do you know anything about the situation in Russia? Well, do you know anything about the crisis in the Mediterranean? Where do you get to the Lewis-Smelling fight? Well, I make a monkey out of you. And listen, Phil, you're supposed to be a musician, an orchestra leader. Let me ask you something. Do you know what Crescendo is? No. Do you know what Fortissimo is? No. Do you know what Pixicato is? Yes, it's green ice cream. That's pistachio. Well, you certainly are a musical genius. How'd you ever become the leader of this orchestra? I'm the only guy in the band who looks good from the back. That's a fine reason. Oh, shut up. Don't tell me to shut up, or you'll be reading the help-wanted orchestra ad. Now, boys, boys, boys, this is our last program, so act like gentlemen. Oh, yes, we shouldn't be fighting like this on our farewell broadcast. I'm sorry, Phil. Well, it's all my fault, Jack. I shouldn't aggravate you. Oh, well. After all, if you're illiterate, that's your business. That's right, Phil. And if you think Beethoven plays third base for the Giants, that's your business. Hello, everybody. How's business? Oh, hello, Mary. Say, you want to hear something? Phil, who knows nothing about music, wants a raise next season. He does? Well, maybe he needs it. Needs it. Well, all he does is throw his money away. Look at that suit he's wearing. He paid $85 for it. Well, what about it? Well, my suit looks just as nice as yours, and I only paid $32.50. And he got two pair of pants with it. That's right. And a trip to Catalina. That's a lot. Lying, Mary. I got that trip to Catalina with my sailor suit. Anyway, as Don was saying, let's not quarrel tonight. Yes. You know, Mary, this is the last time we'll all be getting together until October. I don't know how you feel about it, but I'm all choked up. I feel all right. Well, nothing bothers you. But I don't know. I'm sentimental about things like this. Gee, you know, fellas, I just hate parting with people. Do you do? Yeah, Jack stayed in the eighth grade three years because he hated to take a bite of the teacher. Now, wait a minute, Mary. I was not in the eighth grade three years. Then you were in the third grade eight years. Well, we were snowbound. You know the trouble with you, Mary. You have an announce a sentiment or sentiment. You wouldn't care if this gang never saw each other again. Oh, yes, I would, Jack. And if you want to know something, I wrote a beautiful poem all about this farewell program. You did? Well, that's more like it. Let's hear it, Mary. Yes, swing it, kid. What's the title of it? Fare thee well and toot-a-loo. And I dedicate it to all our listeners. We understand. Go ahead. We have worked so hard all year to bring you laughs and much good cheer. And now we say goodbye to you. So fare thee well and toot-a-loo. All right, now get hot. You see the season close. But when you got to goes, you got to go. It's a fine poem. But we'll be back to bring you joy. So fare thee well and toot-a-loo. Toot-a-loo. You hide me. Paris will be back with us. And so will Kenny, Don, and Gus. Who's Gus? The janitor. But leaving you makes us feel awful. So fare thee well and toot-a-waffle. I'd like to pour some syrup on you, Mary, really. Quiet, there's one more verse. So once again, I say adieu. You said it 10 times. I'll say it again, and nuts to you. All right, get it over with. So once again, I say adieu to him and her and he and you. Poems are made by fools like me. But only Jack can make a dollar go further than anybody else. What? So fare thee well and toot-a-loo. How do you ever write a poem like that? Oh, I don't know. It just comes to me. Well, the next time it comes, don't answer the door. Play it. You couldn't be cuter, plus that you couldn't be smarter, plus that intelligent face you have, the disgraceful charm for me. You couldn't be keener. You look so fresh from the cleaner. You are the little grand slam I'll bring to my family. My mama will show you an album of me that will bore you to tears. And you'll attract all the relatives we have dodged for years and years. And what will they tell me, oh, honey? What will they tell me? They'll say you couldn't be nicer, couldn't be sweeter, couldn't be better, couldn't be smoother, couldn't be cuter, baby, than you are. My mama will show you an album of me that will bore you to tears. And you'll attract all the relatives we have dodged for years and years. What will they tell me, oh, honey? What will they tell me? They'll say you couldn't be nicer, couldn't be sweeter, couldn't be better, couldn't be smoother, couldn't be cuter, baby, than you are. So that was couldn't be cuter with a vocal refrain by Phil Ayres. Say, Phil, you kind of surprised us there. Well, this is the last program, and Kenny isn't here, so I thought I'd show off a little. Kind of put it over, didn't I? Yes, I like the way you sing, Phil. You sound like you have southern fried tonsils. So you were pinch-hitting for Kenny, eh? Yeah, of course I don't mean I sing as good as Kenny. Oh, don't you, Phil? I don't think I even sing half as good. Well, no. Or a quarter as good. Keep that up, Phil. You'll hit it. But you know, fellas, no all kidding aside, you know, it seems kind of strange Kenny not being here today. Yes, I can just picture him on the norm at the having the time of his life. Four whole days on that boat. He must be almost England. And the captain must be almost crazy. Oh, Kenny'll get along all right. He may act dumb, but he knows what to do on a boat. Who doesn't? All you have to do is lean over. I'll bet he's a pretty good sailor at that. Yeah, I wish I could take a nice long trip this summer. I know there's so many places I'd like to go to. Well, what's stopping you? Oh, I don't know, Don. It's so expensive. But I would like to travel around, though. Why don't you get kidnapped by some gypsies? Oh, I don't play the violin that good. What are you? Yeah. What are you going to do this summer, Mary? Oh, I don't know. I'd like to go out in the country where there's nothing but cows and chickens and traveling salesmen. Well, yes, yes, the country is nice. What about you, Don? Have you made any plans? Yes, Jack. For a long time now, I've been wanting to write a book about jello. And this summer, I'm going to stay home and do it. A book about jello, eh? What are you going to call it? How to win friends and influence sliced bananas. Well, that's a very good title. Is there a plot to it? Oh, definitely, Jack. Now, get this for an idea. A boy and a girl meet in a grocery store. They've never seen each other before, and they both want to buy a package of jello. I see. But the grocer had such a busy day that he only has one package of jello left. My, my, what suspense? And what happens, Don? Well, they both insist upon having the one package and they're ready to fight for it. Oh, goodness. So the grocer who wants to please both customers has a brilliant idea. Yes, yes, go on. Wait, Mary, I want to hear this. Go ahead, Don. So he suggests cutting the box in two, thus giving each one of them half. Oh, what a situation. Tell me, Don, do they accept? No. Gazoos. Now, wait a minute, Jack. Get this for a climax. I think that's it. Mary, Don is the author. Let him tell us. Continue, Don. Well, there they are in the grocery store and they don't know what to do. So the young man says to the girl, marry me, and we can share this package of tempting delicious jello. Hooray! So they get married and 10 years later they have six delicious children. Six delicious children. And you'll never guess their names. Listen, Don, if I can't guess their names, I ought to be thrown off this program for life. Congratulations, Don. That book will be another Anthony adverse. And now, ladies and gentlemen, going from the book of the month to another Gala event, Mary Livingston will... Are you ready, Mary? Yes, but I'm nervous. Mary, there's nothing to worry about. You can sing your one little chorus and Phil will be standing right there leading the orchestra. That's what I'm worried about. Oh. Well, I'll tell you what, Mary. You won't need the orchestra at all. If you want to, I'll accompany you on my violin. How's that? That's awfully sweet of you, Jack, but it's a lousy idea. Well, it was just a suggestion. And if you want to know something, Mary, I didn't even bring my violin. Oh, you hocked it again, eh? Listen, Phil, I haven't hocked my violin since I had charge accounts. And now, without further ado, Mary will sing, Says My Heart, from the motion picture, Copenegro. Hold it a minute, Mary. Come in. Mr. Benny? Yes. Is this your last program of the season? Yes, it is. Now, will you please tell me who are you? I ho the Bull Ranger. Goodbye. Oh, well, this is his last affair, so I'll be kind. Sing, Mary. Don't you think it's awful nice when you've got a piece of ice? It's played by the orchestra, sung by Mary Livingston, and applauded by our audience. Well, Mary, you see, you did all right. Yeah, but I was pretty nervous, believe me. Oh, we didn't notice it a bit. Oh, Mary, it was swell. Yes, sir. Everybody can do a number, but me. You know, the only time I ever sing is in my bathtub. You ought to sing more often. All right, Bill, that's your last joke this year. Say, Andy was supposed to show up tonight. Where is he, anyway? Here I am, Buck. I've been standing over there in the corner for half an hour. Oh, I didn't see you over there. Well, Andy, how do you like the program so far? Oh, I think I can still save it. Well, I'm glad you dropped in, though. We wouldn't want to close up shop this season without old gravel throat. Now, what are you going to do this summer, Andy? I'm going to take a boat trip to Honolulu. Honolulu? Oh. Well, you'll have a swell time. Believe me, Andy, Waikiki is a very romantic spot. So they tell me, Buck. So they tell me. You'll find a lot of beautiful girls. I suppose you'll be chasing them up and down the beach. I ain't going there to pick pineapple. Why, Andy, you little chicken chaser, are you going on the trip all alone? No, I'm taking Pa with me. He's more anxious than I am. Oh. Well, what about your ma? Isn't she going to Honolulu with you? No, Pa told us that they don't allow women there. Now, that's silly. You must have had travel folders around. Did your ma see all the girls in bathing suits? Yeah, but Pa drew beards on them. Well, Andy, all I can say is your pa sure gets away with murder. Oh, no, he don't. Ma put a dictaphone in his hat. I say. Well, Buck, I just dropped in to say goodbye and I hope you have a nice vacation. Well, guess I'll run along now. Now, wait a minute, Andy. I just happen to think of something. This is the last time we'll be together for a while. So how about all of us going over to my house and have a little informal supper and a farewell party? OK. That's a great idea. We're going to get started. I'm glad I thought of that. But, Jack, this will be an imposition on your help, won't it? No, I'll call up Rochester right away and have Swing High my cook prepare something. Mary, get my house on the phone, will you? OK. Hey, fellas, do you remember the last party we had at my house? Oh, I'm sure I had a great time. Would you ever forget those cautions sodas? Yeah, I never had such a small hangover in my life. Is that so? You're just not used to good stuff. Uh, just a minute. Here you are, Jack. Oh, thanks. Hello? Hello, Josephine, how are you? This isn't Josephine. This is Mr. Benny. Oh, hello, Mr. Benny. What do you hear from the mob? Now, look, Rochester, I'm bringing the whole gang over to the house for a bite to eat. So tell Swing High to prepare something. All right, but he ain't gonna like it. I don't care whether he likes it or not. Now, tell him to fix up a big platter of hors d'oeuvres first. Oh, what? Hors d'oeuvres. You know those little things you put on crackers. Oh, peanut butter. No, I mean appetizers. Now, what have we got in the ice box? Some eggs, some bologna, and your raccoon coat. My raccoon coat. Rochester, when I told you to put it in cold storage, I didn't mean in the ice box. Now, you take that raccoon coat right out of there. I tried to and it bit me. Never mind that. Now, tell Swing High to get busy on the food and you prepare a nice bowl of punch. Punch? We ain't got nothing to put in it. Wait a minute. What became of that quarter gin I bought last week? What's that? You heard me. That quarter gin, where is it? I think we got a bad connection. Rochester, what became of that quart of gin? That stuff can evaporate, you know. Rochester, for the last time, what became of that bottle of gin? Well, if you must know, I thought it was water and dragon. That's fine. We'll get another bottle right away. No thanks. I'm high enough now. I mean for the punch. We'll be over in half hour, so have everything ready. Wait a minute. You better talk to Swing High. He's about ready to go to bed. All right, put him on the phone. More trouble with my help. Oh, let's call the whole thing off. No, everything will be all right. Oh, hello. Hello, Mr. Blaine. Listen, Swing High. Now, listen, Swing. I'm bringing my gang over at the house and I want you to prepare a real nice supper. Oh, no, no, no. We ain't no working tonight. It may go to sleep early. You won't go to sleep. You'll do exactly as I say. Slez you. Slez me. Slez. Now go in the kitchen and get to work. I know that, but my friends, they're coming over. I am not. Now that's just about enough. Now listen, Swing High, you're fired. Okay, see you tomorrow. Hey, wait a minute. Put Rochester on the phone. Darn that cook. It's a gratitude after I taught him how to make chop suey. If I'd have known that that would have... You want me, boss? Yes, Rochester. Now it's up to you to fix a little supper for us. Do the best you can. Or the best you can. All right, I'll whip up some. How many is there going to be? Well, there's five of us in the orchestra. There'll be about 25 all together. Is that clear? Rochester. Rochester. Hey, Rochester. I'll hung up. Oh, what's to you? Well, what are we going to do? What happens now? Say, I'll tell you what, fellas. I'll take you all to the Trocadero. Hooray! Yes, sir. And wait a minute, and it's my treat. No kidding, Jack. Yes, sir. For Jack's the Jolly Good Fellow. Jack's the Jolly Good Fellow. I'm a Jolly Good Fellow. But wait until you get the check. La, la, la, la, la. Nothing tastes better on a warm summer night than a big generous bowl full of homemade fruit ice cream. Ice cream that's delicious and creamy and smooth and rich with real fruit goodness. And you can make it just as easy as that right in your own kitchen. Just try delicious tutti fruity ice cream made with Jell-O freezing mix, the kind you'd expect to get only in expensive restaurants, a party treat, delicious with chopped candied cherries and other real fruits and sweetened cherry juice. Jell-O freezing mix makes swell ice cream, and it's so easy. All you do is open the can, add milk and some whipped cream, and pour into your freezing tray. Stir only once while it's freezing. You get six servings from one can of Jell-O freezing mix, and wait until your family gets their first taste of that luscious tutti fruity ice cream. Tops and creamy smoothness, tops and delicious real fruit goodness. Jell-O freezing mix comes in six luscious flavors, and you like them all. tutti fruity, strawberry, orange, pineapple, chocolate, vanilla, and maple walnut. It's a grand idea for all summer long, so ask your grocer tomorrow for Jell-O freezing mix. This is the last number of the last program in the current Jell-O series, and we'll all be back with you again on Sunday night, October 2nd. And I want to take this opportunity... Say, Jack, if we're going off the air tonight, who's going to take our place this summer? I'm coming to that, Mary. But first, I want to take this opportunity of thanking all our listeners for their loyal support and my authors, Bill Morrow and Ed Beloin, for their splendid work. I also want to thank my entire cast and the readers of Radio Guide for again paying such a grand tribute to Don Wilson and myself in their recent poll. And oh, yes, I want to thank Fred Allen for being such a heel. Speaking of Allen, folks, did you know that... Oh, Jack, I'm all excited. What about the summer show? Well, Mary, we're going to have a swell program, really a novelty. It's called Hobby Lobby, and I want you to meet its originator, Mr. Elman. Mr. Elman, this is Mary Livingston. How do you do, Mary? Hello, Misha. It's not Misha Elman. His name is Dave, and he's not a violinist. Well, he needs a haircut just the same. Go away, Mary. Say, Dave, I've heard an awful lot about your show. Would you like to tell us a little more about your brainchild? Sure, Jack. I'll be glad to. Hobby Lobby is a program devoted to people that do unusual things in their spare time. Do you ever hear of fish that walk and dogs that talk and roosters that actually rollerscape? Roosters, rollerscapes. Yeah, I can't even do that myself. Well, Jack, we've had people on our programs who teach animals to do just that. And next Sunday we're going to have a lady whose hobby is collecting giraffes. Giraffes? Yes. And then we're also going to have a fellow who tap dances with his tongue. Tap dances with his tongue? Sort of a Fred Astaire from the neck up. Is that the idea? That's the idea. And then there's a chap coming on from Buffalo whose hobby is blowing square soap bubbles. But, Dave, how can a fellow blow square soap bubbles? Well, tune in next Sunday night and find out. I sure will. And thanks, Mr. Elmond, for coming up and telling us all about Hobby Lobby. Say, Mary, that's very interesting stuff, isn't it? Yes, I'm going to listen to it. Well, goodbye, Jack. I'll see you October 2nd. Wait a minute, Mary. What's your rush? I got the cutest hobby waiting for me in the lobby. Oh, I see. Well, good night, folks, and I hope you all have a very happy vacation this summer. J.T. F.L.F. Oh! Next week we'll hear the new Jell-O'-Sonical featuring Dave Elmond's Hobby Lobby. Meet for the first time the school teacher of Hobby's collecting excuses sent in by parents of absent school children, the man who collects 90-pound coins and many others in hobbies are strange and fascinating. Same time, same station, Hobby Lobby, a program that's new and different. The melody you couldn't be cuter is from the picture of the joy of living. This is an actual broadcast and cover.