 A fiery horse with a speed of light, a cloud of dust, and a hearty hi-yo silver! The lone ranger! Before this exciting adventure, a word from our sponsor. A cloud of dust, a flash of light, and a hearty hi-yo marita! The lone stranger eats again! We can't let these devils get their hands on our marita white bread, pronto! No! Because me want get my butter on marita! Also peanut butter, jams, jellies! And chicken, cold cuts, and coyote meats! Right, pronto! Marita is perfect for everything. It's baked while you sleep, so it's the freshest, best-tasting white bread. Missed me you wanton criminal! And me wanton marita! Also children want marita for lunch and snacks. So does the man who appreciates a really good sandwich. And the woman who wants to serve only the best. Look! Them weaving white flag! No! They're weaving a white bread! And going away! Right! They know they can never hope to equal the fresh baked white bread goodness of marita! Good! No! Me want sandwich! Not plain coyote meat! No! Coyote and cream cheese! Tune in again for those thrilling days of yesteryear! The lone stranger eats again! Hi-yo marita! Away! With his faithful Indian companion, Toto, the daring and resourceful mask rider of the plains led the fight for law and order in the early western United States. Nowhere in the pages of history can one find a greater champion of justice. Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear. From out of the past come the thundering hoofbeats of the great horse, Silver! The lone ranger rides again! Come on, Silver! Let's go, people! I'm Silver! Follow! Happy Morgan literally laughed at the law. His loud raucous laughter was a trademark that was unmistakable whenever he and his gang of gun slicks went into action. For instance, one afternoon, he and his men boldly entered the Wells Fargo office in Rockton. Hey! Hey, be quick, mister! Look at him shake, men! Think he's seen a ghost! All right, clean out the safe. I'll take care of this munkhead this way! He's got it like a light happy. Yeah, yeah, you're right, stool. He's lucky I didn't plug him. All right, get busy, men. We ain't got all day. Nothing stopped happy. One evening, a few nights later, the sheriff and his two deputies had returned from the hills with a posse. They were in the sheriff's office when... Great day, happy Morgan and his gang! Hold up, sheriff! Keep him covered, men, while I take their guns. Gun ball and nerdy pole cat trick! Oh, not a sheriff! Control yourself! I got the guns. Oh, sheriff, don't look so glum. You ought to be happy like I am. Stools, get the keys, open the cells and lock them up. All right. Hold on now, we'll be the laughing stock in the town. Why, you're coming to LaVad right now! Open the cells, men! News of the Morgan Gang's exploits spread throughout the territory. The sheriff, in desperation, telegraphed the United States Marshal at Pecos for help. Through certain channels, the Marshal got in touch with the Lone Ranger and Toto, who immediately set out for the terror-stricken town. It's not easy to capture gang with leaders like happy Morgan Kimu Toto. I know, Toto. Morgan's a strange man, but a smart one. Then say him last friendly when gang commit crime. Yes, you might say it's a laugh of death, Toto. Morgan's a killer. You wonder why him laugh like that. I think it's a sign of a warped mind, Toto. Happy Morgan may be trying to show his contempt, not only for law and order, but for life itself. He's a very dangerous man. That's right. Well, we're only a few miles from Robton. I know. We'll find a place to camp in nearby hills. Then we'll decide on a plan of action. Come on, Toto! A short time later, the mask man and Indian made camp. The Lone Ranger decided to send Toto with a note to the sheriff, asking him to come to the camp for a discussion after dark. That night at the appointed time, the sheriff met the mask man and Indian at their camp and related the various exploits of happy and his men. He described happy in great detail and ended by saying, The way he laughs sends shivers up my spine, because when he's laughing, he's got the glint of murder in his eyes. I'm flum-tuckered out trying to figure how to outwit him and his cutthroats. How many followers does he have? Five. That makes six in a gang all together. A posse of talons should be able to handle five or six men easily. Well, yes, under normal circumstances, but happy Morgan has them all buffaloed. They're scared to pieces. Seems that madman type of life unnerves them. Morgan most likely figures on that sheriff. Well, he was smart enough to figure right, mister. When the men ride with a posse, they act like they hope we won't find the gang's hideout. From what you tell me, sheriff, it might be a good idea to turn the tables on Morgan. How? His laughter is an expression of ridicule for the law and for the men who respect it. He realizes his laugh unnerved his victims. Are the members of the gang familiar to the talons' people? No, all of them except Morgan mask their faces with neckachips and pull their hats down. In that case, any one of them might enter town without being recognized. Is that it? Yeah, I reckon so. Well, I have a plan in mind that might bring Morgan and his gunmen out when the talonsmen are ready to receive them. In other words, we might be able to lay a trap for that gang. Hey, if you have a plan, I'd sure like to try it. Good. I suggest you pick ten or twelve men with steadier nerves than the other talonsmen. Have them planted in the cafe tomorrow afternoon. All right. What then? Tell them when a stranger comes in and ridicules happy Morgan, they'll laugh and agree with him. That stranger'd have to have more nerve than any ombre I know. If he laughed at happy Morgan, he'd most likely laugh himself right into boot hill. Maybe. Who's the stranger figure on getting to do anything like that, mister? I'll be that stranger, Sheriff. You? Yes, I'll be in disguise. My one hope is that at least one of Morgan's men is there to hear what goes on. We'll repeat the performance tomorrow night just to be sure. Then we'll plan a trap for the Morgan gang. By a thunder I sure hope it works. I'll get back to town now and get those men together you want. See you in town tomorrow. So long. Adios, Sheriff. Easy there now. Get up there. The following afternoon, the Lone Ranger, disguised as a prosperous-looking rancher, entered the cafe in Rockton. Howdy, mister. Something for you? No, not right at the moment. I'm a stranger here. Thought you might answer a few questions. Well, what do you want to know? Is it true this town is pestered by some silly-looking galute who laughs like a hymn and leads the gang? You must mean happy Morgan. Happy Morgan? Imagine a full-gold hombre calling himself a local name like that. He must be plum foolish in the head. Say, mister, you better be careful what you say. Yeah? Morgan and his men are mighty mean hombres. Man of life. You ought to see the look on your face. You mean to say you get nervous when I talk about an hombre who acts like he's half-witted? That stranger sure is a card. Reckon, he's got a happy number. Mr. Sheriff, if you ever meet Morgan and his gang, you'll know why he's got most everybody in town nervous. Reckon, I like nothing better than to get a look at a lunkhead who has to bray like a mule to keep up his nerve. Imagine a town full of men getting nervous over a would-be bad man who tackles all the time. Stranger, I reckon you don't realize who you're poking funny. I don't. No, you don't. A man here can tell you happy Morgan's a mighty mean hombre. Man of life. Is he? Let me give you a warning. Yeah? Happy Morgan's lively here if you're remarking how you left at him. If he does, I figure he'll get plenty of rise. Good day, mister. I hope he don't learn about it. If he got wild, he might not laugh anymore. Then he'd have to change his name. Yeah. Easy-telling you're not happy from the way you're scowling. Ain't that better get out of here proud of him going to hide and what you say makes me so nervous I couldn't hold a glass. Mister, you're asking for trouble. Look, all I want is to be happy. I don't mean I want to be that happy. I better get out of here before I laugh myself and to hold up the place. And I'll see you later. Later that afternoon, the outlaw stew rode to Morgan's hideout and reported about the stranger in the café. When he finished, Happy sculled and spoke. You mean he got the men in the café laughing about me? He sure did, Happy. Made you have to be a silly fool. Nobody laughs at Happy Morgan. Nobody do you hear? We don't like it any more than you do, Happy. And make a fool out of me, Willie. You get back to town, find out all you can about him, stew. That snicker and stranger don't know it. But if he puts a stunt like that again, he'll be laughing himself to death. We'll continue our Lone Ranger adventure in just a moment. A cloud of dust, a flash of light, and a hearty pio marita. The Lone Stranger eats again. What you doing, stranger? I'm baking up these flaky rich marita brown and serve rolls, pronto. Them smelly good, but no can do over open fire. Why not? They stay on package to bake in medium oven. Well, I made a medium fire. Then it's okay, me guess. You guessed right, pronto. These marita and rich brown and serve rolls bake up to a mouthwatering flaky rich golden brown. The perfect hot rolls for breakfast, lunch or dinner. And they come freshly baked in piping hot from your fire in just six minutes. That's good for family with many papoos. No, pronto. The plural of papoos is papu sai. Me maybe no good in grammar, but you no good in making coffee. Well, you think it's easy chasing bandits all day than slaving over a hot fire at night? Dune in again for those thrilling days of yesteryear. The Lone Stranger eats again. I owe marita. All the way! Now to continue. That evening, Stu was on hand when the Lone Ranger, still in disguise, re-entered the cafe and stood at the bar ridiculing Happy Morgan for the benefit of his picked audience. You know, I figure Morgan sees himself in the mirror every morning, then can't stop laughing all day. Mister, what would you do if Morgan came in here right now? Well, I reckon I'd ask him what he was laughing at, so as I could laugh too. Well, stranger, I see you're back with your clowning act. Sure am, mister. From what I hear, my act's better than Morgan's, though. He's the only one who laughs when he makes his appearance. Why, you jumped here out of your boots if Happy Morgan busted in here right now? From what I hear, Morgan likes to make people get out of their boots. Now, of course, if it was tomorrow afternoon when he came in here, I might do a little arguing with him. By that time, I'll collect a certain amount of cash on a deal here in town, and I wouldn't want to lose it. To my knowledge, nobody ever tried to argue with Morgan. He might stop laughing if somebody did, then he'd lose his reputation. Now, look here, stranger. I'm not sticking up for Morgan, but I think if he ever met you face-to-face, you'd lose all that hot air you've been blowing around here. You sure wouldn't feel like laughing. Oh, I don't know, mister. You see, I sure like a good joke when I see one. Gotta leave now, but I'll be back tomorrow afternoon at 2 and sell up refreshments for everybody. I'll have a water cash big enough to make that tinhorn happy Morgan more bug-eyed than he already is. So long, everybody! Later that night, Stu again reported to Morgan and the gang about the ridiculing stranger. Happy, fuming with anger, sprang from his chair and reached for his gun belt. I slumber we're going to town right now and find that loudmouth clown. Care the place of Parker, we do find him. And I laugh in his face as I riddle him with bullets. I wait. Happy, calm down a minute. Wait for what? No sneering pole cat's going to make a fool of me and get away with it. I'll listen a minute, happy. Well, I'm just... That stranger's going to get a big water cash and a deal tomorrow, he said so. In fact, he boasted about the water cash being big enough to make your eyes bulge. He told everybody he'd be in at 2 o'clock to treat the house. Hey, and that seems happy. Why don't we wait and go then? We can get him and get his cash at the same time. I agree with us, happy. Of course, we're not trying to tell you what to do, understand? But it'd be worth it to see you take the wind out of his sails in front of the townsmen. Sure, all right. Why not think it over, happy? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, maybe you're right. Yeah, we'll bust into the cafe tomorrow afternoon, just after 2. First, I'll take the wind out of his sails. Then I'll ventilate him with every bullet in my gun. Meantime, that same night, the sheriff again visited the Lone Ranger's camp on the outskirts of Brockton. The Lone Ranger spoke. My hope is that Morgan and his gang fold for my story about having a big water cash at the cafe tomorrow afternoon and come to get it and me. We'll be ready in case the gang does show up, mister. I'll have men hidden behind the long bar. I'll wait with others outside. Of course, we'll keep out of sight. This may be our chance to trap that gang. Early the following afternoon, Happy Morgan and his men rode toward Brockton. Now men, we'll bust into that cafe and show that stranger what Happy Morgan's really like. And remember, he's my pride. Are we going to line everybody up and rob them? Oh, not only that, Gus. Not only that. After I gun the loud mouth, I'll have Stu point out some of the hombres who laugh with him. While you men keep him covered, I'll gun with him one at a time. They'll be sure to remember Happy Morgan from now on. We ought to take over the town. Maybe we will. Maybe we will. Nobody can stop me now. Before I'm through, I'll show everybody in the West that nobody can laugh and make fun of Happy Morgan. Come on, get out of there! Promptly at two o'clock, the Lone Ranger, again in disguise, entered the cafe. Here's the stranger now. He's right on time. The Lone Ranger walked to the end of the long bar where he stood facing the front door. As the men looked at him expectantly, he spoke. Well, man, I promised all of you I'd treat the house today, and I intend to keep them a promise. But before I do, I want to wait and be sure some customers who were in here yesterday aren't missing out on it. So we'll wait a short time if it's all right with you. Maybe he's waiting for Happy Morgan. Yeah, how about that, mister? Waiting for the Morgan gang to get in on the treat? Well, now, maybe I am. That is, if Morgan could stop his guffaw and long enough to take a drink. Happy Morgan and his gang. Holy mackerel! Creeps, everybody! Cover them in. Yeah, you're not very glad to see me, huh? Now, where's that clown who's been putting on a show at my expense? Point him out to me! If you stop that he-haul long enough to listen, Morgan, I'll tell you that I'm not the clown. You are. That's him, Happy. Why, you snicker and coyote. Oh, that's... No! He shot me. That ain't possible. Gun him down, men! Gun everybody! Gun him! That's those guns! Hey, the sheriff's in the doorway. Well, shoot your fools! They're afraid! Give it on! Shoot! Get your ass in! Stop those guns! Happy Morgan though wounded was like a madman as he and his men tried to fight their way out. But guns blazed from behind the lawn bar and from both doors and all windows as the townsmen their courage renewed by the lone ranger caught savagely to subdue the gang once and for all. Many men were wounded. Then after two of their number and one deputy were killed the outlaws finally realized they were hopelessly trapped and threw down their guns. Well, by Sunday, mister, we got him. Your plan worked. We'll get a doctor to attend the wounded, sheriff. It can't be. Nobody can stop Happy Morgan. Nobody! Your stop, Morgan. You and your cut votes will hang. Time up, men, and get him to jail. You're the one who did this to me. You made a fool of me. You laughed at me. You can't do that to Happy Morgan. Nobody can. His mind had snapped, sheriff. He was a madman on the loose. He gives me the creeps. Take them away. You can't do that to me! You can't do that! Mister, we sure have a lot to thank you for. You are mighty clever to figure out how to break down, Morgan. Hey, mister, what about that promise you made to treat the house? It still goes, Barkeep. There should be enough to pay for it. Hey, treat for everybody. Come and get it. Look at him, will you? Mister, you sure know human nature. Thanks, Sheriff. The gang put up big planks in the suburb. But they're finished now. Yes, Happy Morgan and his gang will soon be forgotten, Tutto. Sheriff, we'll leave now. We'll come back to see you sometime. I'll always be mighty glad to see both of you. Goodbye. Adios, Sheriff. Adios, everybody. Hey, Sheriff. Who is that hombre? He sure changed all of a sudden. Got real serious life. This whole business was serious to him. He don't really look like you've seen him. He's changed his appearance. Those to go without the mask he usually wears. You see, he's the only hombre I know who could have stopped that madman. He's the lone ranger. Remember way back when, when you were a kid growing up, you always found time to make a side trip to the little grocery store down the block. That's where you'd find the big display of Mickey Snack Cakes. Remember? Didn't it make you happy to pick up a devil delight and take a whiff? What a chocolatey smell. And remember the coconut sprinkled gym jams or the cream filled banana flips? Well, today, marita bakeries still make the Mickey Snack Cakes you used to love as a kid. That's why Mickey Snack Cakes are called smile food. The bakers know they're spreading smiles and sunshine wherever Mickey Snack Cakes are sold. Find a little neighborhood grocery store today or a big modern supermarket. Look for the display of Mickey Snack Cakes. They're all there like you used to remember. The devil delights, the gym jams, the banana flips. Treat yourself to some fresh memories. Treat yourself to a Mickey Snack Cake. Have a smile on us. Listen to the lone ranger. The lone ranger and Toto had written at a fast pace and soon reached the grove in which they had picked camp. While Toto unsettled the horses, the lone ranger removed his disguise and changed into his usual clothes. Then as the two men prepared to roll into their blankets, the great horse Silver raised his head and whinnied softly. Silver gave one and came out of it. He's looking toward the gully to the left. You may not see anyone yet. The moonlight is bright and clear, except for the shadows and fast. From the gully, Nick and Jim saw the masked man and Indian move quickly toward the shadows. Jim spoke. Hey, look, Nick, they suspect something. That tall one isn't that guy. Look, he's masked. That's right. Let's get him anyway. All right, draw your gun. This is it. Right. Listen to the lone ranger brought to you by special recording at this same time. The lone ranger, a copyrighted feature of the lone ranger incorporated, is produced by Trendl Campbell Muir Incorporated. The part of the lone ranger is played by Brace Beamer, your announcer, Fred Foy.