 Hello. Hello, can anyone hear me? My name is Ethan Nester. I run a channel called CrankGameplays. I stream on Twitch. And I have a group of mods in here who I thought were a lovely group of people but they're going around banning everybody and they're coming after me next. And I said that the only way that this can be fixed if you go to CrankGameplays.com And buy one of the new banned t-shirts. All of the proceeds are going directly back to the mods for the hard work that they do. Please, go click the link in the description below. They're not gonna last long. Oh god, they're coming. Go now! Go now! Is everything alright, Jeff? I hate that his mouth isn't moving. On the board you're gonna see 10 subjects. They range from the first grade to the grade. Christ. Jesus. Hey, welcome to How You Smarter Than Fifth Grade. I played this game a while back, I think. Did I? I can't remember. Justin, did I? Anyway, I thought that I would go to the test and see how my knowledge is. This whole quarantine, you know, we've been home. We've had free time. You know, you could use this time to read and absorb and grow and learn new things and become smarter. Have I done that? No. So, we're gonna see how my brain is keeping up in quarantine. Amanda. I'm going with you, unfortunately. Are you smarter than a fifth grader? Take a subject. I don't think so. I'm about to be very embarrassed. There's no way I could be more embarrassed than the math thing in the unisonous video, right? I don't think so. Let's go first grade lit, baby. What is the story with animals that act like humans that teaches a normal, a moral lesson called a fable? I'm locking in my answer. I thought you were gonna ask me if it was Animal Farm. Did I get it right? Cool. Yes! First grade measurements. True or false? There are 31 days in a... In... What? January? Okay. False. There are not 31 days in January. Right? There's 31 days in January? Even if you didn't because that is the right answer. Your classmates can only help you to... Alright, let's go fifth grade US history. I'm about to... Get ready for a challenge. This is a fifth grade question. Shit. What former US president was the first American to win a Nobel Peace Prize? I don't fucking know, dude. I bet you never thought you'd need to remember that later in life. Five grand? Five Gs, baby? Fifth grade physical education. I feel like I've got Jim under my belt. Thank you. If I could fucking read how many minutes are in a quarter of... I can't see the fucking question. How many minutes are in a quarter of... Of what? Of what? I'm gonna go with... 15? After only a few short hours... Quarter of an hour? You're pretty smart, huh? I'll kill you on the parking lot. Now the idea here is to pick someone smarter than you to be your classmate. So any of these kids ought to do fine. I don't know if that's true. Alright, let's do second grade science. God, they're all horrifying. Why do you all look like ventriloquist dolls? What kind of fruit is dried to make a raisin? Jeff, you think I don't know where raisins come from? Huh? Huh? Where do you think I think they're coming from? Let's do second grade measurements. How many millimeters are in a meter? I think it might be a thousand. It's a thousand or 100. I'm going with a thousand. I'm going with a thousand. After only a few short hours of deliberation, you got the right answer. Thank you, Christ almighty. Up to $50,000, baby. Let's go with third grade U.S. geography. This is gonna be bad. This is gonna be very bad. Very bad. What state's name is the tree state? Is it the pine tree state? I can't fucking read the question. Jeff, get out of the way. Was it mean? Shit, I am from Maine. Let's try again. Hey, Jeff, maybe you can not stand in front of the fucking questions so I can read it. That'd be cool. Let's go with what we failed on last time, which was third grade U.S. geography where I got the question wrong about my own home state. See, if you put it up there, it would be great because I can actually see how many states are in the United States? 51. Are there 51 states in the United States? The 51st state refers to a place or territory that is not one of the 50 states, but people. I was thinking about Puerto Rico. I knew that there were 50 states, but I was like, okay Puerto Rico, and so U.S. territory doesn't count? I don't know. God damn it. I look like a dumbass. I look like a dumbass. I look like a dumbass. I am a dumbass. First grade physio. What's the following sports that's played on a court? Not football, not soccer, basketball. First grade life science. What is the term for a long plant? A young plant? It's a seedling, I think. Yeah, I couldn't even fucking read the question either. Isn't that crazy? Let's go with second grade art. I think I've got art under my belt. A straight line that is drawn from the bottom from the straight line that is drawn from top to bottom is what type of line? Top to bottom? Vertical line. That is correct. It's correct. Don't play with me, Jeff. All right, I don't have time for this. Let's do second grade grammar. What is the suffix of the word unmovable? What's a suffix? What does that mean? I don't remember. Oh, shit. I don't know what a suffix is. To be completely honest with you. Let's try one last time. I want to get at least 100 grand. Let's go with fifth grade literature. Let's knock them out hardest to easiest. Who wrote the poems, the Mad Gardener's song, and the walrus and the carpenter? I don't fucking know. This is a guess. I have no idea. I don't know what those are. Yeah, apparently I was. I have never heard of any of those. Logan, save me, baby. Come on. Save me. Save me. Save me. Save me. Save my life. You were just saved by somebody who has to raise their hand to go to the bathroom. Which atomic particle carries a negative charge? This ain't the first time your instincts have led you astray, is it? I'd ask the fifth graders, but you are fresh out of cheese. I have any cheese at all! I'm a YouTuber. You think I know this shit? No, I don't know anything, baby. What is the following note? Wait, hold on. Hold on. That's what I needed, man. What was it? Egg-egg-egg-egg-egg-egg-egg-egg-egg-egg-egg-egg. It's a D, I think. Hard to tell you that was the wrong answer. And the fifth graders have done it again. Goddammit. Fifth grade social studies. I don't remember anything, dude. I can barely read now. I couldn't read at all then. True or false, the U.S. Constitution says Americans must pay taxes, that's not true. Now where I come from, they answer! 4th grade math? Oh no. How many numbers between 10 and 50 are perfect squares? It's not right, but I like it. Go easy on him, Mr. Fox-Rivvy. 5th grade astronomy? I know about space. No, I don't. Don't kid yourself, even don't lie to yourself like that. Clouds of gas and dust in which stars form are called what? That is... Correct, it's correct. It's correct, it's correct. It's correct. 2nd grade animal science, let's go with that. What do you got, animals? You know, I have a dog. It's frozen. I hate the way that they're all looking at me right now. Hello, please. Jeff, Jeff, Jeff. My mouse is no longer here. Jeff, Jeff, please. Jeff, Jeff, I'm begging you. I know the answers to these questions, Jeff. I know what you're planning to do, Jeff, but I need you to hear me out. I can do this. I can do this, Jeff. Just give me another chance, Jeff. Just give me another chance. Please, Jeff!