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I'll kiss all the ladies, the young and old, and self another drink, and kiss them all again. I'll dance at your wedding, I won't miss that wedding. I'll dance at your wedding, am I gonna shop another drink and kiss them all again? I won't miss that wedding, I'll dance at your wedding. Colgate dental cream cleans your breath while it cleans your teeth. No other toothpaste has a better job of cleaning teeth than Colgate dental cream. For Colgate dental cream has a safe polishing agent that cleans your teeth both gently and thoroughly. Brings out their natural sparkle and beauty. You can actually see and feel the difference. And scientific tests prove that Colgate dental cream cleans your breath while it cleans your teeth. Yes, actual scientific tests prove conclusively that in seven out of ten cases, Colgate instantly stops unpleasing breath that originates in the mouth. Colgate dental cream is famous for its wonderful wake-up flavor too. Nationwide tests, leading toothpaste prove that Colgate's is preferred for flavor over every other brand tested. Yes, preferred over every other brand tested. And no wonder. For Colgate dental cream is the result of constant effort to produce the finest toothpaste in the world today. For cleaning teeth, for flavor, for sweetening breath. So see if you don't agree with the millions who have made Colgate dental cream America's favorite toothpaste. Try Colgate dental cream to bring out the natural sparkle and beauty of your teeth. For a wake-up flavor you'll thoroughly enjoy. And always use Colgate dental cream after you eat and before every date to clean your breath while you clean your teeth. Well, one of the pleasant things about Christmas shopping is the pause for refreshment afterwards. And in Weaverville, the favorite spot for that is a recently opened little place featuring a gypsy fortune teller and called with great originality the little gypsy tea room. We find a familiar trio occupying one of the tables this afternoon. There's Herbert Anderson, his daughter Mildred, and our young hero Dennis Day, all waiting for the gypsy to unveil to them the mysteries of the future. Gee, it's sure swell of you to take Mildred and me out to tea, Mr. Anderson. Oh, well, we only live once, my boy. I'm glad you're enjoying yourselves. Oh, we are, Daddy. But how did you ever manage to get the money for it? Well, I am afraid I did something a little unethical. I promise you won't tell. Oh, of course we won't. But what did you do? I got up earlier than poopsie this morning and went through my pants pockets. Gee, I bet you hear after she keeps the money in her own pants. Oh, I forgot they have no pockets. Glad you did it, Danny. Golly, I can't wait to hear our fortunes. Can you, Dennis? Well, gosh, I don't know. I'm a little scared of what she'll tell me. Why, have you had your fortune told before? Yeah, I dropped a penny in a scale one day and a card came out saying, you weigh 153. Now turn over this card and read your future. And what was on the back of the card? Just one word. Boy. Believe in a silly sidewalk scale. Princess Romagna's a real gypsy. She knows the truth. Look, she's free now, Dennis. Call her over. Hey, you hold Princess Romagna. Over here, please. How do you do? First of consulting with the gypsy control princess. Certainly, Derry. Would you like just your immediate future, or can I interest you in something from the cradle to the grave? Whatever you see in our tea leaves. All right. Let's have your cups, Derry. Oh, my. I seem to see a man in your life. Is that correct? Oh, yes, it is. Dark, handsome, very distinguished looking and terribly intelligent. Oh, isn't she wonderful, Dennis? What's so wonderful? She was looking right at me. Call me gypsy. Are we going to be married someday? Yeah. And look, do you see the four little specks of tea leaves at the side of the cup? That means you're going to have four children. Pardon me, but one of those little specks of the fly. So one of the children will be born in an aeroplane. No, you, Daddy. But I wasn't drinking tea, Mildred. All I had was a cup of coffee and a cigar. No, that's okay. I do just as well with the issues. Look at you, toward Mecca. No. No, I don't want to know my future. I'm content to just let my little pupsie push me toward it. Have your cups, honey. Oh, yes, ma'am. Here you are. Thank you. Let's see now. Oh, my. What's this? The leaf says it's going to be a big change in your life. Gosh, really? Yeah, and soon. Maybe even this very day, or tomorrow. Oh, Dennis, isn't that marvelous? Boy, I'll say, are you sure, gypsy? Positive. Kismet is about to take a hint. Gosh, and I never even met the fellow. Kismet means fate, sir. Oh, can you see any more in the leaves, gypsy? Can you tell me what I'm... I'm sorry, but that is all the leaves revealed, honey. And now I have other customers, so if you'll kindly cross my path. Yes, yes. Of course, gypsy. I have some silver right here to cross it with. Silver? Look, let's get all the way across, shall we? With some of that stuff that's done? Oh, yes. Well, here you are now. Thank you, Princess. Chilamalachim, I'm sure. Goodbye. Gosh, just think my whole life's going to be changed. I may even have a completely new personality, huh? Well, it's possible, I guess. Boy, come on. I can hardly wait for tonight to come, so I can go to bed and wake up in the morning and meet myself. Well, so you finally got home. Oh, hi, Mother. Oh, evening, Mrs. Anderson. Hello, Butterball. Oh, Mother, we had the most wonderful... That can wait, Mildred. You and your father step outside for a moment. I have a few words to say to this young man here. Alone. Me? Yes, you. We'll see you later, Dennis. Come on, Daddy. Mildred, if Kismet shows up, send him right in. I think I'm going to need him. Dennis, I'll come right to the point. Do you know that my patience with you is exhausted? Well, I knew that in my case, it tired very quickly. But what have I done lately? Are you aware that your room rent is two weeks overdue? Oh, yes, ma'am. I realized it last night when I noticed that my bed was missing. I've strung along with you in the past because I hoped you'd change. Yes, ma'am, I know. But look at you. The same $8 a week job. The same miserable prospects. The same lame excuses about the rent for two years. You're even wearing the same sweatshirt you wore the day you came here. Is there anything to recommend you? Not unless you admire consistency. Well, I don't. I want my $12 or out you go. But, gee, Mrs. Anderson, how can you feel that way? It's almost Christmas time. The very air in this house should be filled with the Christmas spirit. Well... I can breathe it for $12, huh? Exactly. And you've heard my last word on the subject. Well, well, so this is kid's myth. Gee, I can't wait for the next wonderful change in my life. I wonder what it'll be. A appendicitis or athlete's foot? Yes, sir. Good morning, Mr. Willoughby. Good morning. I've been waiting for you, son. I have something to tell you. And it's rather big news, my boy. Big news? You mean is this... is it something that will change my whole life? Is it? It's just that, my boy. Kismet, at last! At last! Huh? Quick, what is it? Tell me the glorious news. Quick, quick, quick! Starting Monday morning, you'll be out of a job. That's right. I'm selling the store, son. So, of course, I'll have to let you go. How could that Kismet turn out to be such a stinker? I'm sorry, son, but you know I've always wanted a ranch out west. And now that I've found a rich young sucker to buy the store, I can have one at last. Oh, I see. Well, Mr. Willoughby, this new owner, couldn't you recommend that he keep me on here? Dennis, he's a member of my lodge. I couldn't do that to a fellow bald eagle. Besides, he's giving me $8,000 for this place. That's enough of a beating. Gosh, $8,000? Yes, exactly the price of the ranch I'm buying. Of course, I did want another place at $12,000, but unfortunately, the bank turned down my application for a loan. Your credit is no good? Well, as a storekeeper, yes, but not as a rancher. They said unless I had someone in with me who knew all about ranching, they... Hey. What? Son, how would you like to be my brother Clarence? I think I'd hate it. I mean just long enough to go over to the bank and tell them that you're my brother from out west. That you know all about cattle ranching and that you're going to run my place for me. Then they'll give me the money for the ranch I really want. But, Mr. Willoughby, isn't that a little sneaky? Certainly not. I'll pay back the loan. Do you think they call me Honest Homer Willoughby for nothing? Yes, sir. Well, they don't. Now, look, Dennis, if you can put this over for me, I'll see that the new owner keeps you on. Gee, do you mean it? I do. And what's more, you'll get a $5 raise. $5? Boy, you spend other people's money like it was other people's money, don't you? Well, naturally. Now run over to that costume place and get yourself a Western outfit and a handlebar mustache. Then hop right down to the bank and get to work on Mr. Courtney, okay? Yeah, I guess I haven't got much choice. Fine. And remember, you're no longer Dennis Day. I'm not. Of course not. You're my brother Clarence. Oh, that's right. I just hope when Kismet comes up with my permanent change, I'll come from a better family. Will it be to see me? No, tell him I... Hmm? Oh, his brother. All right, Miss Flood, have him come in. That's funny. I'm from the land of the Golden West, out way yonder there. Let's say we hunker down by the farm, Lava Spell Hayes. Gonna hunker down in that chair if you're comfortable. Thank you. This is darn good hunkering. It's about my brother Homer's loan partner. I guess he didn't tell you I was gonna run his ranch for him, Hayes. He never even told me he had a brother much less one that knew ranching. Why didn't he say something about it yesterday? Settle back, son. I'm ready for that one. You see, he never knew until today that he had a brother. What? Weren't you raised together? Sure, but you know how close, mouthless Western folks are. Ma just never told him who I was. I'm not gonna hunker to him to ask her. Us Willoughbys ain't the nosy kind, Bob. I find that story very hard to believe, Mr. Willoughby. Well, give it everything you got, partner. It's the best it can do. It's time to be an experienced cattle rancher, eh? You bet. Been erasing and selling cattle since I was born. My pa had the biggest cattle ranch in all of Wyoming. Huh? How many had did he have? Why, one, of course. Same as me. I've been talking about heads of cattle. Oh. How many did he sell in an average year? He didn't sell them that way, son. You had to take the whole land. Well, peaking everything. You don't say. It's a fact. Now, how many had a cattle did your father have on this ranch? Oh, shucks, partner. I never could count them. We had about a thousand cows and as many calves. And how many bulls? None. We figured bulls was too vicious, so all we had was cows. Trick, if you can work it. But I don't think you can. Flaker. Hold on, partner. Smile when you say that, or I'll stick you good with my cow poke. With your cow poke? Oh, this is murder. I said smile, partner. I didn't tell you to milk it. Now, will you be good enough to tell me what this is all about? Well, to tell you the truth, Mr. Courtney. I'm Dennis Stacey. Well, by George, so you are. That must have been... Yes, sir, it was Mr. Willoughby's idea. See, he's pretty desperate for that loan, and he thought it was like him. Oh, excuse me. Yes? My wife's nephew. I'm found my wife's nephew. Tell him I'm out, tell him I'm busy. Tell him I'll see him tonight at the house. My wife's relatives. Every time I draw a breath, there's more of them on my neck. Her mother and one room, her sister and another, and her two cousins and a third. Gee. A man's home is supposed to be his castle. You know what my wife has done to mine? It looks like she's lowered the drawbridge too often. Her nephew and his wife. And this morning, he asked me to recommend an obstetrician. Do you know what that means? No, sir. An obstetrician is a baby doctor. Gee, maybe they're going to have... if you'll pardon the expression of baby. Oh, of course they are dreaded. But why do they have to come here and live with me? Oh, what I wouldn't give if they'd moved to another town. Yeah, I guess you... Hey, what would you give? Huh? The poison I went to this nephew of yours and told him I was the doctor you recommended. If I could convince him that we were built with a terrible place to have babies, he'd move, wouldn't he? Why, by golly young man, you have brains. It does seem that way for the moment, doesn't it? You're right. He would move, but... Sure. And as a return favor, you'd agreed alone Mr. Willoughby and me $4,012 in cash. Oh, why the $12? Well, it's sort of a down payment. I'd like to lie down again. Is it to you? Well, all right, I guess so. Well, it's not a bad risk. His name is Prince. Now, don't forget, you're a baby doctor. Okay, gee, first a store clerk, then a rancher, then a baby doctor. That kid must sure as a busy little guy. Did you wish to see someone? How do you do? I am Dr. Rittenhouse, by his cop 1 and 2. Himmelschlager from way down Dorton there in Vienna there, Dorton, if you please. Maybe the doctor my uncle recommended. They're very same. Now, I understand that. Well, all right, your wife, well, the both of you are... We're expecting a baby. I'm almost certain that's what you'll get. Gosh, I hope so. Now, then, where are you planning to raise this baby? Where? Right here, of course. In Wievebril? Oh, sure. Ach, so lieber, hach, mir nicht kein Scheinchen. I understand, Doc. Is there something wrong with that? My dear friend, you want a fine, bouncing baby. So? That's not possible here. In Wievebril, they are just lying flat. Golly. I'm telling you, we got diseases here and no one else ever even heard of. Did you ever hear of the Wievebril creep? The Wievebril creep? Every kid in Wievebril gets it. My gosh. What is it? What does it do to them? For a year after they're born, they can't walk. Not only that, but when they get to be about eight years old, all their teeth fall out. They'll have to go on forever, but maybe you'd rather not hear it. Maybe you'd have already decided to move your little family away from here. Well, no. In that case, I continue. No. Suppose that you are a very lucky man who manages to bring up a baby who is healthy. You realize that in this town also grow the meanest kids in Granste Weltbesch. Stop them from riding for a look. Single one of them. We got to spank them the minute they're born. My goodness. Ach, and the delinquency here. 95% of the children in this town are juvenile delinquents and the other 5% shoot poor. Council, do anything about all this juvenile delinquency? Town council, why should they worry? They're too busy putting through laws to make it illegal to put anything but saloons on street corners. But what about the drug stores? They have all been forced to go underground. But suppose someone was sick and needed medicine in the middle of the night? They would have to eat pretzels with it. I'm getting to wonder now if this is the right town to raise my baby in. It's about time my boat was getting pretty near shot. You know, Doc, I think you're right. Gwendolyn and I are packing tonight. We're leaving this town the first thing in the morning. Good. See, did I tell you how much calcium we got in the water here? Every kid in town has a bone head. You better leave. I already said we were going to. Oh, yeah, I know. But I already had that line thrown up, so I figured I might as well say it. I'll be there then, Runkard. Mr. Willoughby Kismeth, I did it, Kismeth. Why? You're in, Mr. Willoughby, and all because of me. Oh, I'm grand, I tell you, grand. Dennis! You may kiss me on the cheek if you wish. Here's you! Sure, pretend you're a Frenchman. Go ahead, have fun. I'll look, Dennis. Oh, I know. You haven't heard from Mr. Courtney yet. But wait till I tell you the news. You'll cheer. What news? Well, I've gotten you the loan for that ranch you wanted. This is a cheer. Dennis, maybe it's you who should hear the news. You see my buyer backed out. He phoned a little while ago to tell me the deal was off. And he was coming back to pick up his department. Oh, my gosh. Then that means I'm still your employee. Don't rub it in, it's tough on both of us. And what about my five-dollar raise? Now, there's a silly question if I ever heard one. Well, it's too bad it blew up like this, Dennis, but I don't... Uh-oh, here comes that expire of mine. Mr. Willoughby, not that fellow crossing the sidewalk. It can't be. What? Why, of course it is. Oh, no, Kismet, no. Hello, Mr. Willoughby. Here I am for my deposit. Oh, hello, Doc. Brigade. Calling, Doc. Why, this gentleman right here, he's the one who advised me to leave town. Sure. And luckily, I found a store in Middletown. I like even... Dennis, why you? Mr. Willoughby, no. Be careful. Your blood vessels will spring leak. Holy smoke. Is this the change I've been waiting for? If I ever get my hands on that Kismet, I'll murder the bump. Dennis Day will be back in just one minute to sing and meeming. But first... 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