 Alright everybody, welcome to the Orientation for the Memetics and Info Hazards Division. Now this is a full week of training and a long day, so be sure to get some coffee or a donut because we won't have time to go get food until lunch. I'm Junior Researcher Zach Ekshin and I… yes, question? Why aren't I having any coffee or donuts? Looks like we have at least one veteran of the reality benders orientation. Well, to put your mind at ease, why don't you get me some coffee and a donut or two? Usually I take it black, but add some milk and sugar just to cover all the bases. Hey, sprinkles! Nice. Now, you're right to be suspicious. You get lied to a lot at the foundation. Little things like we only put tracking chips in D-Class. This will be the first time you receive amnestics. And the location of the site you're currently sitting in. But today, I'm going to be completely honest with you. Which gets us to the very important part. You don't have to worry about us secretly feeding you drugs. We will be very openly feeding you lots of powerful hallucinogens. The reason we're not bothered to hide it is because, like most info hazards, our psychedelic testing regimen works whether or not you know about it ahead of time. The reason we're making you trip balls is that we need to make sure you can handle your sh** regardless of what your brain thinks is going on. It doesn't matter if the walls are melting and cats with a gram of this face are telling you the secret history of the world. You write your reports, conduct tests and follow the containment procedures. You document everything that the grandma cat tells you and write it out until you punch out. What's in your head can't hurt you unless you let it. To work with info hazards, you need to notice when things don't make sense. And this is the important part. Respond accordingly. Do you suddenly have a spouse you didn't this morning? Well, maybe you shouldn't consummate that relationship. Were you always taking advice from the omnidimensional blood god you're thinking about building a shrine to? Maybe instead you should talk to your supervisor because we sure don't need another prophet to Hey, that got everybody's attention. Yeah, part of what you learn is how not to say things. Did you know that percent of information is memetic censoring? It's written there as clear as day if you have the clearance and account of programming. Want to know how it's done? Well, first. All right, everybody back up. Yep. For those of you not keeping track, that was almost an hour you aren't going to remember until you earn it. Exactly none of you have the training or clearance to know any of that. Yet. We're going to teach you to walk through fire. Feel like your brain is melting out of your ears and still keep going. We will put your minds in the forge and hammer at them until they are stronger than steel. Mind affecting and weird psychic SCPs will slide off you and information based containment breaches will just be another day of the office. Well, look at the time. That's about it for the introduction. Next, we'll watch the instructional video on handling Euclid Infra-Hazards and then you'll have pizza for lunch. There should be enough for two slices for everyone and it is required everyone eat both slices because it is chock full of drugs. And a file to learn more about the SCP Foundation, subscribe to SCP orientation today and turn the notification bell on so you don't miss any of our videos.