 Is the narcissist happy without you? So you may have left the narcissist or maybe they discarded you. Maybe they tossed you aside like you're nothing. Like you never meant anything to them. And now you're sitting back wondering if they're happy without you. If you asked them, I'm sure they would say that they are. And you saw them ride off into the sunset with their new supply. And they posted all of these pictures on social media. Looks like they're really happy, living their best lives. Everything's great for them. And you, while you're miserable, you're depressed, you can't sleep at night. Just keeps you awake every day, thinking that the narcissist did you wrong. They left you like you're nothing. And then they just moved on, found someone else. Someone who is meant to be so much better than you just breaks your heart, right? It hurts. But that's only because you don't know the truth. If you could be a fly in the wall, if you could see what's really going on in their lives, trust me, you would be laughing at them. You would be loving it. The only reason why you're upset about it is because you don't know what's actually going on. Because what's going on is that the narcissist thought they had a better deal. They really thought they were onto something. And this new person just sold them a dream. They made them believe that they were really about something. It's all a façade. You know, it's the same thing that the narcissist did to you when you first met them. They bigged themselves up. They acted like they were all that. And now you know the truth about them. And that's often the same kind of person they run into. They just got lucky with you. You were really about it. And they know they're posting these pictures and social media. They know how to create an orchestration. They know how to plan and coordinate the elements of a situation to produce their desired effects, to get the reaction that they want from you. But that doesn't mean it's real. And when you understand that, just look at it as an observer and you won't feel sad about it anymore. You just have to look back and remember everything you did for them. You did things for the narcissist that no one else did before. Things they never seen before. And they really expect you to believe that they can just move on after one or two days. And then they're with someone else who's doing the same or more than what you were doing. And not only that, but they're putting up with all of the abuse. They're being the narcissist's doormat, their emotional tampon because you're no longer there to do that for them. So they've got to have someone to replace that role as well. And they really expect you to believe that they've moved on and found someone who has taken all of that, even for normal people, just to find a normal person who cares about you, looks after you. That's not an easy thing to find these days. And yet the narcissist wants you to think that they've found someone who's doing all of that and putting up with all of the BS. I mean, you've only got to remember where you went through with them. How many months or years were they there just laying in bed to like 11 a.m. every day, sitting on the couch, watching TV in the afternoons. They never got a job. They never worked. They never made any money. It was just you paying for everything. So think about that for a moment. They lived a good life when they were with you. And I know they want you to think that they found someone else, someone who's richer, more powerful, more attractive than you are. Yeah, that's what they want you to think. But even if they did find someone who has money, that money is only going to last a certain amount of time. Narcissists are very reckless with spending. So give it a few months and all the money will be gone. And then they will be back to eat noodles every day and maybe selling stuff on eBay. Anything they can do just to make ends meet after they were bragging and boasting about all of this stuff. About how things were so much better for them. It's a load of lies, trust me. I've seen it happen so many times before. They're very good at giving you a story. That they're so much happier without you. They've moved on. They just want you to think that you were the problem. And more than that, they want to make themselves believe that they were not the problem. Because they are narcissists. And that's what everybody comes down to is how they think about themselves. How they see themselves. So they will give you lies. They will give you a story so that you see them differently. And then that reflects back to them and how they see themselves. Like I said in my videos, they live in a world with a population of one. It's just them. And the only thing that matters is how they see themselves. Everyone else is just props. You just objects who project this image back to them. That's all it is. It doesn't matter if this new person is richer, more powerful, more attractive than you are, whatever it is, more intelligent. They're just an object. They're just there to reflect an image back to the narcissist. Other than that, they serve no purpose. Just look at your relationship with the narcissist. As soon as you stopped listening to them, you started to confront them more. You no longer tolerated their BS. You were no longer projecting this false image back to them of themselves. So you no longer served any purpose to them. If you can't validate the illusions of their false self, their false character, which is everything, they wish they were. You're nothing. They don't need you. They don't have any use for you anymore. Once you stop believing in the lies and the illusion, you're as good as dead to the narcissist. Yeah, the narcissist wants you to think this new person is making them so happy, but all they're really doing is just validating the false self. They're validating the illusion. It's all fake because they're giving their attention and admiration to something. They just fabricated. The narcissist never did any work to be anything for real. They just decided one day, yes, this is me. This is who I am from now on. Without actually developing any real qualities or abilities, they just woke up one day and said, yes, I'm the shit. I'm the best thing since life's bread. It doesn't work that way. That's why you always saw all of these cracks in their armor, in their image. You've only got to say one little thing. It may be unintentional, but you just slip up. You say one thing wrong and they crumble. They fall apart because it's all fake. And deep down they know it's fake. They know that's not who they are. And you knew that wasn't who they are, but you still love them anyway. That's the crazy thing about it. You saw them broken down. You saw them at their worst. When they were really angry, they were really pissed off. They were really upset. But you know what? You accepted them anyway. You still gave them your heart. And they threw that away. For what? For nothing. For something that doesn't mean anything. For something that doesn't have any substance. This new person just validates the image. That's all they do. All they really care about is how much money the narcissist has, or their physical attractiveness, their power, their success, their possessions. That's how they got together so fast. Because that's all they really cared about anyway. And they threw away something real with you. Because you were there for them at their lowest. You were there for them when most people would have walked away. Because despite their flaws, you loved them. You accepted them. After everything they did to you, you still stayed. But they were blind. They couldn't see that. They couldn't see that your love was real. Like even when you saw them at their worst, you were still there trying to make them happy, trying to make things right. And of course this new person, if they see them like that, they're going to be out of there. They'll be gone very quickly. Because they're only in it for the fun and excitement. They're only in it for the good times, for superficial things, things that lack substance. So when the fun's over, they're out of there. And all of this superficial stuff, it's not fun for long. It's fake. All they can do is pretend they might make them happy for a little while. But even then, it's not going to be the same happiness that we get to experience. Because with them, it doesn't come from within. That's why they're so insatiable. That's why they always want more. They're never going to be truly happy. Just think about it like this. How can they be happy? After everything they did to you, after they hurt you, after they devalued and degraded you, after they threw you under the bus, they kicked you to the curb, they left you on the side of the road. And what? Then they run off. And everything's okay. That is not happiness. That's just a lack of empathy. It's a lack of concern for you. And let me tell you, people who lack empathy, they can't experience true happiness. You've got to have empathy to truly be happy. And that is something that they lack. So they will never be truly happy. It will only be an illusion. It's just like someone, like a junkie. Like someone who drinks alcohol or takes drugs. And in their minds, they're having the time of their life. They think they're so happy. But you're not drinking alcohol. You're not doing drugs and you're watching them. Well, you're sober and they just look crazy. Because you know it isn't real. You know it's fake. You know it's just the alcohol or the drugs. It's just the addiction. And the narcissist drug of choice is people. They're addicted to people. So instead of consuming alcohol or drugs, they're consuming people. Yet for some reason we look at them while we're sober and we're actually thinking that they're happy. They're not. It's like they're just high on drugs. They're drunk. That's all that really is. And at some point, the effects of the drug wear off. They come down. They have a hangover. And then they go to deal with that then. That's when they come back to you. That's when they over you. That's when they're looking for comfort. The narcissist is not happy without you. Never. And that's for everyone who is watching this video right now. No matter who your narcissist is. If they are narcissistic, how can they be happy? When you're happy, you can't just throw someone under the bus. You can't just be inconsiderate to people. When you're happy, you want to share. You want to give. And that is the difference. It's just fake happiness. Because it doesn't come from within. It comes from fake superficial things. But for you it can be real. You can get your happiness from within. But there is a reason, of course, why you may be upset when the narcissist discards you. Weave when you leave. And that's because you're still focusing on them. You're still worrying about what they're doing. You're tuning in to their frequency. Which is a negative frequency. It's not any good for you. It won't make you happy. And even when they discard you, it doesn't mean they're gone. They're still lurking out there somewhere. They're still watching you. They're on your social media. They're making fake accounts. Or they got someone else watching you for them. Because they want to know if you are happy without them. They want to see if you're still suffering. And knowing that, when they decide to check in, you should make sure they see something that spoils their stomachs. Make sure they see something that makes them sick. Make sure you're out there living your best life. Doing all the things you want to do. Enjoying your life. Make sure you're doing that. Don't get on the satisfaction. Because they want to see you down. They want to see you miserable. That's what they want after they leave you. They just want you to be so broken down that you'll never be good for anyone else after they're gone. Because you're still thinking about them and what they did to you. So yeah. Is the narcissist happy without you? They would love for you to think that. They would love for you to think that they are happy. To make you think you were wrong. You were bad. You weren't good enough for them. They're so much better and happier than you. Yeah, they want you to think that. But just because they want you to think it doesn't mean it's true or real. I'm sure you'll remember when you were with the narcissist you would go out in public and they'd put on a show. They'd act like everything is going well for them. They're so happy and then you'd get it then when you got home or when you got back in the car. And like I said, if someone's happy then why are they going to be constantly attacking you? Constantly insulting you and trying to make you miserable. Happy people don't do that. They don't have to put anyone down but no matter what you did for the narcissist they always found an opportunity to bring you down. Always. This is how you know they're not happy. Remember when you first met them they told you about their exes they told you they weren't happy in their past relationships so they weren't happy before they met you. They weren't happy when they were with you. What makes you think they're going to be happy without you? They were never happy before. Narcissists have problems with everyone they encounter and I'm sure you can think of many times when you saw that. It's like wherever you went with the narcissist they always had a problem with someone. They always had an argument every restaurant you went to they had a problem with the waiter every shop they had to speak to the manager because they weren't happy about something so it wasn't just you there was everyone everyone they were around they had a problem every day they just can't get on with anyone and yet they want you to think that now as soon as they leave you they magically get on so well with someone else after everything you've seen over the last few months or years they want you to think that now they're a different person they have a completely different personality they are anti-social they don't function well in relationships they don't like functionality it makes them uncomfortable and that's why every time you try to move forward with them every time you try to do something healthy like normal people do in normal relationships you try that many times with the narcissist but how did they respond? they pushed you away they pushed you down because they weren't comfortable they want you to think everything is now so perfect without you but you know what I'm sure you remember times in your relationship with the narcissist maybe it only lasted for a few minutes or seconds but there were these little moments where it felt like everything is perfect but what did they do? they messed it up they had to cause some type of drama some type of chaos they had to turn it into a problem when everything was perfect just as it is and that is how you know even if the narcissist did move on and find a perfect person walking the earth a perfect situation they would still mess it up because they wouldn't feel comfortable even if the narcissist gets everything they want they're still not going to be happy they will never be happy you gave the narcissist everything they wanted and they were still miserable so it's not going to make a difference with someone else it doesn't matter who it is the narcissist always finds something wrong because they feel wrong they feel bad, not good enough and when it all comes down to it that's why they couldn't have a healthy relationship with you because they were very insecure they have low self-esteem but they don't take accountability they don't work on themselves instead they blame everyone else and that is why they never change or grow for a narcissist to go from being miserable to then be happy in another situation that would require accountability but as we know they don't do that they didn't hold themselves accountable for anything that went wrong in your relationship they blamed you for everything so how can they move on and be happy without any accountability that is not possible for them to do that they would have to accept their wrongdoings in the relationship they would have to own it and they would have to give you closure they would have to make peace with you but no they never did that they just discarded you and that is how you know what you're dealing with because normal people in normal relationships they don't discard you they don't throw you away like your garbage like you're completely worthless like you don't mean anything they don't ghost you they don't give you the silent treatment normal people in normal relationships do not do that so when the narcissist cuts you off when they discard you like a piece of trash that should tell you what you were dealing with because normal people don't do that they may not have even told you that you had broken up it's just one day you discovered that with someone else and that's all you knew and yet we think in our minds that someone like that can be happy when you do bad things you cannot be happy happiness is reserved for those who do good if you do bad things you will experience shame you will feel bad about yourself no matter how much you try to distract yourself no matter how much you try to hide it and that shame will eat away at you it will wear you down until you finally confront it and say yes I was wrong I was bad I made a mistake until you finally accept that that shame is going to continue growing within you because no matter how much you try to deny it deep down you're always going to remember what you did but the whole nature of the disorder is denial so they're never going to admit it not even to themselves they're never going to see it as though they did anything wrong and that is why they cannot be happy that is why they're destined to experience shame for the rest of their lives I just wanted to really drill this in today once and for all people need to know the narcissist cannot be happy there is just no way and I don't care if they're a full-blown narcissist or just someone with the traits just someone who appears selfish and inconsiderate of you people like that will never be happy there's a difference they just lack empathy they just don't care about you that's why they seem happy because you're thinking in your minds it didn't end well they left you and if they really cared about you if they really loved you they shouldn't be moving on happy but they are also it seems but that's when you got to think yes they didn't care about you yes they didn't love you because they like empathy and people who lack empathy cannot experience happiness the two go hand in hand empathy and happiness when you feel genuinely happy you want to share that happiness you don't have any desire to bring people down but as I said before hurt people hurt people if the narcissist is hurt they will try to hurt you and them presenting this false display of happiness is intended to hurt you whenever they're pretending like they're happy without you that's meant to cause you pain and someone who is trying to cause you pain cannot be happy 100 live viewers please give this video a thumbs up together we can spread the awareness of this disorder so please hit that thumbs up button right now do it to support our community sitting on this swing looking out at this incredible view the sun is setting you can see all the mountains everything there I'm just really at peace with myself and I know that you can all get to this place too it all starts by going within examining your thoughts feelings and behaviors but I know it's hard when you get discarded by a narcissist it's not fun it doesn't feel good and this is something that I work on with people in my one-on-one coaching sessions but right now I just like to share something with you that I normally share privately with them when you've been discarded by a narcissist and you're feeling really down you're feeling depressed you feel completely hopeless and helpless I'd like you to just sit down by yourself and just focus on those thoughts because those thoughts are creating those feelings so if you change the thoughts you change the feeling and if you lug deeper into it the truth is it's not that specific event or situation that is bringing about these feelings it's your thoughts and at any moment you can choose to change those thoughts which means that you get different feelings so at any moment you have the choice to be happy you can choose right now to be happy your thoughts and emotions don't have to be defined by something that happened to you it all starts in your head so just think about that for a moment and get yourself into the pattern of being aware of your thoughts and emotions because when you do that you have power over them but up until now if you haven't been aware of what you're thinking and feeling it's had power over you and that's why it pulls you into this downward spiral of anxiety and depression so take back your power right now and identify those thoughts and feelings write them down on a piece of paper whatever thoughts you're having right now write them down label those emotions and then write down the emotions that you want to feel and then work out how you're going to get there how you're going to get from feeling sad to being happy and of course you would do that by examining your thoughts and then changing the thoughts maybe being more optimistic maybe looking at the bigger picture in the grand scheme of things the things that we worry about are really not that important and of course I don't want to invalidate anyone here by saying that my videos are designed to empower you and this is how you empower yourself this is how you free yourself is that by realizing in the grand scheme of life in however billions of years that the universe has been here and since humans have been on this earth how important is the narcissist in all of that how important was your relationship it's just a blip in the grand scheme of things and when you look at it like that you free yourself we assign importance to things in our lives and at any moment when it's no longer serving us we can take away that importance that we had assigned to it and when you've been discarded by your narcissist that's really what you need to do once you've processed the emotions you just have to let it go recognize that it isn't serving you recognize that it's no longer important and then your feelings will go with it and then you'll have the time and the energy to focus on other things other things that should be more important to you like building yourself back up healing creating a better life for yourself just something to think about but yeah just looking out at this incredible view here the sun is setting as always I'd just like to thank you all for joining me on another video please give this video a thumbs up if you enjoyed it if it resonated with you and I wish you all the best on your healing journey if you need any support I am available you can go to my website to book a session it's narksafiva.co.uk again thank you all and have a great day