 Well, hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm Jonathan Asley of JonathanAsley.com, and I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today. Our topic, the six, wait a minute, six types of relationships, we'll go with this, six types of first dates for them go nowhere, okay? The six type of first dates. Okay, really quickly, if you're new to my channel, please hit the subscribe button, hit the bell so you can be notified of new content. I shoot about three or four videos per week. All right, our topic, the six kind of first dates that go nowhere. Once again, I'm gonna be using my glasses again today. I'm trying to read my sheet here, but the first one is the most obvious. You go on a first date, and there's no attraction to for one another. There's literally walking going, ah, you know, and I know you've all experienced this. You've gone on first dates. I know I've gone on first dates. Immediately, there's a disappointment, most likely because they didn't live up to the billing in their profile, maybe the photographs were old. Men and women do this consistently, and a lot of first dates never go anywhere because there's no mutual attraction. And then there's the second kind of first date where one person's attracted, but the other person isn't attracted, or vice versa, right? You've been there. You've been attracted to someone, they weren't attracted to you, or someone was really attracted to you, and you were like you weren't attracted to them. So that's rather obvious, right? Now the next four get really kind of tricky, and that's why I'm gonna share with you those first two obviously go nowhere for obvious reasons. The next one is the third one is you have a small connection with one another. There's a little bit of banter. There's some humor. There is some emotional connection with one another. However, the person, one or both people, have a lot of unhealed childhood wounds and traumas, or adult traumas, and they're not healed. So they're not really ready for a relationship. And while it may get past the first or second date, because there's a small connection, those childhood wounds are gonna rear up and play havoc in the relationship. This is one of the reasons why I recommend the book, Getting the Love You Want by Harvelle Hendrick, so you can understand the dynamics. Most people fall into is this Imago Triangle. In addition, you definitely wanna check out the book Attached to understand avoidant attachment style, as well as anxious attachment style, because those unhealed attachment styles, while you might have a connection with someone, it's just the relationship isn't gonna form the bond needed to go the distance for it to be successful. By the way, I'm noticing I'm wearing this blue shirt. I haven't worn it in a while. A lot of people have been so kind to say, you look great in blue, so I wanna thank you for that. If that's still true, please post a comment below. I just wanna hear your thoughts on the blue. I do mix them up on any video, just like I mix up the pictures on every video. I bought these from Mixed Tiles. They're great pictures. They were actually a gift for me after Connor passed away and I've just been buying a bunch ever since. Okay, the fourth kind of first date that actually has some potential is where there is a small connection and both people are able to invest in the relationship. They are healing their childhood wounds and traumas. They're making an investment in themselves. Maybe they go to therapy, maybe they do workshops and such. These are people where if there is a small connection, this relationship has some potential. While it may not always go the distance, it certainly has the potential for it because ones where they're still dealing with their traumas, their spouses, issues at work, when their life foundation doesn't feel solid, they're incapable of leaning in, leaning in. You know how I'm big about leaning in instead of leaning back and I'm just saying that tongue in cheek here. Okay, the fifth kind. This is the toughest one when you have intense chemistry with another person. I mean, just off the charts chemistry. You just feel like this person's your soulmate. I mean, it's just intense and you're literally attached to the hip right away and you're macking on each other and you're making out. I mean, that's the ones where it's lust driven, rarely ever go anywhere. I like what Marianne Williamson says in her workshops. When she does a workshop, she says when you have that intense chemistry, what's the first thing you should do and the whole audience screams at the same time, pray, pray. You gotta pray for guidance because guess what? When there's intense chemistry, it really, if it takes off like a rocket, it's gonna come crashing down to earth. Not always, but, and this really leans into that sixth one that we're gonna talk about today, the sixth type of first date. This is where you actually feel a soul connection with another human being. You feel a soul connection, not that intense physical connection, but just that connection where you're just able to laugh with one another, you get each other, you finish each other's sentences. It's just very easy being with them. And these are the people that have most likely healed their childhood wounds and traumas. They actively do what I talk about in my book, What the Heck Is Self Love Anyway. And by the way, if you're interested in any of these books, there's a link below to Jonathan recommends. I highly recommend. Have you purchased my book? If you have, please let me know. And I ask you to write a review as well. All right, but that soul connection where you're actually, has anyone seen the Black Mirror episode called Hang the DJ? It's in the fourth season. I think it's the fifth episode. But it's a great illustration of what it feels like to meet someone for the first time and just have that soul connection where you just feel comfortable with the other human being. It just feels easy. The relationships that progress are the ones that start relatively easy and there's no hangups. There's no need to analyze the relationship. One of my friends said to me, if you have to analyze the relationship most likely, it's not the right relationship. Or it means there's more work for one to do on themselves. And when I mean, there's no such, when I say right relationship, I'm talking a relationship that progresses forward with commitment and such, that progresses to a level of partnership. And it's relatively easy. And the only work that needs to be done is the work on oneself. So we're not caught up in our own stuff. This is why I highly recommend checking out the Hoffman process. The Hoffman process. There's a link below to that. Highly recommend checking this out. Because once you've done the work, you're open and receptive to love. You're open and receptive to love. And that's my invitation for you today. All right, if this resonates with you and you'd like some advice understanding men to determine which men are really ready for a relationship, which one of those fit into those six categories and which of the four you should get rid of? Well, the first two you'll know really quickly. Then check out a link to a schedule of discovery call to see if working with a coach is right for you. Free discovery call. I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do. First off, giving myself a big gigantic Jonathan Bear hug of self love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love. I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone and give them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and we can all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye bye now.