 Welcome to Car Side Reviews. I'm Adam Olinger. This is Jay, and that's Garrett. We just got done seeing X-Men Apocalypse the I don't know most disappointing movie I saw all year so far Let's let's approach this the way I approach my other my my flagship show movie feuds where we break it down by Different topics the first one would be cast. What did you guys think of the cast of this film? I thought it was hit-and-miss. You know, I thought that you know Cyclops. He was very well-cast. I like Ty Sheridan I didn't like him at all. He's what I call a mouth breather in the industry. He has the Kirsten Stewart Yeah, it's a Kirsten. It's a Kirsten Stewart. It's Kirsten Stewart. I think it's Kirsten Dunst Yeah, yeah, you just can't shut his goddamn mouth. He had to shut his eyes. That's why I can't figure any of this out. He's supposed to be the leader of the X-Men. They once again fucked that up And you know what? I'm just I'm just getting old and bitter. I guess I don't go I don't go to these movies anymore and enjoy them when I sat X-2. I waited in line for like eight hours It was a huge fucking ordeal and it was amazing to blow me away Here's a fun fact. That's the first movie I ever saw in theaters Well, as if any of you making me feel like a dinosaur as if any of you give a shit Yeah, well, it made me feel terrible. Good. Thank you. Well, you go from I'm sorry. We're already off track Let's let's just bring it. We're bringing up a good point You go from Daisy Future Past that movie, you know You could argue that first class saved the series But Daisy Future Past was X-Men 4 and it made up for all the continuity files of the previous movies this movie Created more and this is why X-Men just needs to go back with Marvel They do I you know for the longest time before new class came and I was like don't redo this series Hugh Jackman's Wolverine and now after all the mess and the convoluted storylines. I don't even care Reboot the whole damn thing. Yeah, but I will say this quick silver was great. Yeah, quick Professor X and Magneto always fantastic. Fastbender does what he does. Yeah, he's just he does this thing But Jennifer Lawrence, you know You can't stand her in these movies I cannot stand her you do not craft a character based around the actor or actress and that's what they've done here Rebecca Romaine was perfect and she was missy knew her role and she did it well And what was it that Garrett said before about the X-Men series? Oh, yeah Yeah, what was the line you you came into this car to say go ahead and say it for the only reason why he came About the X-Men timeline. Oh, yeah, dude X-Men is more fucked up than Mexico United States border I'd say nailed it nailed it they they craft half this goddamn movie around Jennifer Lawrence and her entire character is Useless in this her power is to shapeshift and trick people and play mind games. She never does it No, she's just she's in J. Law form the entire yeah, and it's so boring and the guys in the movie I think there's four different scenes. You know, you thought it was ridiculous and Batman v Superman when they said like three times There's no people in the city. There's no people in the city. Oh in this movie. It's the equivalent of people saying Why don't you look like your blue self? You know, why don't you take off your mask? They do that in the movie too that was like no people in the city. Oh, yeah, there's no there's no victims in this film Shit is blowing up everywhere and there's no humans. You have storm in this Underutilized I have nothing. I know nothing about her. She joins the cause for no reason whatsoever. She even points out for some reason. There's a Mystique poster in her like family room, but they keep going back to she's my hero. She's your hero. You're fighting her The only one that had any sort of character depth any good motivation, I know let's get to apocalypse He's terrible this was a very character-driven movie I know we don't even have to talk about the plot because there really wasn't much of a plot here Well, the first I'd say half of the movie is recruiting X men Yeah, and recruiting the horsemen to recruiting the X men that we've already seen and are familiar with in the other movies Why couldn't they just do a montage like in first class? They should have like a rocky montage just the plane going on a map like Indiana Jones and just picking up recruits That would have been better than what we have or like first like I said first-class, you know And I don't I don't like first-class either. I'm one of those guys. I didn't like first-class. I thought it was meh Meh That's what I'm saying as part of the being old thing is I'm attached to the original crew. I see a Femke as Jean Grey I do not see Sophie Turner as Jean Grey and most of the time she's trying to mask her accent. Yeah, Sansa It doesn't work. I stole still she saw it Yeah None of it works none of it works in this movie outside of fast bender and quick silver quick silver is 16 Spoiler tag in like two minutes. Yeah, quick silver was the best part of this movie fast bender McAvoy fantastic That was great. So what would you give it? Oh, we're jumping to it already? We've said everything we need to well before we go into spoilers the things that do work Are the intros really cool? Oh, yeah, that was the Silver scene you yeah, he rolls in like he rolls in like 20 minutes late doesn't give a shit He's never seen any of the X-Men movies. He's got middle fingers in the air He's down with his soda. He's like, I don't even care out of 10 10 being the best one being the worst I'm gonna give this a 4 4 I'll go 6 Wow, you're being generous maybe but I have to see it again because I'm still kind of mixed Okay, and you you're just gonna give it a 10 because you're that guy. No, I'm actually not I've actually seen some better movies It's like a UFO Taking me up. I can't get in a good light spot. It's getting that age of Ultron feeling in that movie Yeah, when apocalypse is talking I was like oh Ultron but without the personality. Yeah, this is so much can't be cheesy shit in this too. We're gonna go to spoilers Spoilers. Oh, I'm sorry. Go ahead. What do you got? Reverse the spoiler What do you got? It's the flash now. We're just bringing in the stars. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, what is your rating? Oh, yeah, so can you come into like the goddamn yeah, we'll give it a 7 7 that's what I gave to Batman V Superman 7 without even seeing the first half hour of the film. That's really good It's okay. Maybe that's why that half of it was like really just set up It's okay. I figured out who who the people were. Yeah, you guys just suck that guy into the wall We're at the spoilers section now if you didn't like the first half of this just walk away now because it's just gonna Get a whole lot worse Well, let's take it beat by beat the movie starts out at the pyramids I thought that was cool. I was that was an awesome intro for 20 minutes I think you're turning like this is this is really good. Look. Yeah, it's starting out nice Yeah, it was like, you know when it started the stuff you missed was really good. Yeah, I walked in and you're like Is that the movie to you know it took its time to set everything up and then started picking up and I was like Wow, it's getting really good It was at the point when the Wolverine cameo that whole sequence That's when it lost you or that's picked up for you. No, that's when it started to lose me I was lost way sooner than that. So after that whole it was because it was that was the Quicksilver scene before that And I love that scene and that's what got me really immersed into the story everything else. Hell, yeah This is gonna be great now. We got it. We got to see the chronologically speaking. We're in the pyramid We get some cool mutants doing fire stuff. My favorite is the mortal. Do you guys play Mortal Kombat? Yes Do you remember the fatality where the dude? I don't know his name But he uses his force abilities or crushes this guy's limbs Yeah, that's that happens in this No, it's not new but it's like her mac or something. I don't know. I don't know his name It's not him either, but So, yeah, there's some unique cool powers being used and then we flash forward to present Well, I'm not present. It's in the 80s. It's in the 80s. You wouldn't even know it by watching them Yeah, like a few boombox scenes and uh, yeah, they don't really play off it near as well as And it's just J. La off on her little mission trips to recruit people. It's road trip with J. La Somebody's calling me. What is this? Amateur hour really? We're in a car with a single camera interrompting. This is professional. It's this kid. No, nobody knows Nobody cares Okay, so yeah, so we get like a fight with Nate crawler who's much worse than Alan Cummings He's more comic relief than anything else. That was uh, that kid was in dawn of the plan of the apes If you give a shit, I like that movie a lot. It's much better than this one. He for some reason can't Like warp out of the cage Electricity around it. That's that's the thing now that that stops him from Apparating or whatever you want to call it. It's a Harry Potter term. Oh, yeah Yeah, it's just J. La kind of going around and this takes like half of the movie is I don't even know what she's doing. What is that? What was her purpose? And what was uh Rose Burns purpose? No, she's just in it. Don't worry about her Half the characters I don't what is she recruiting for I don't I couldn't tell you just walking around with like a cigarette Come on. Let's go. Come on. Come on with me. She's not an X-Men. There is no X-Men again Every movie has to try to rebuild this fucking team. Why can't they just be X-Men now? Can they just be X-Men now? Sorry, Adam, they can't can they be X-Men now That's what I liked about the first X-Men movies that they were already a team Yeah, just Wolverine was our eyes and ears and he was you know getting us immersed into anything until their house gets blown up again It's it is like Harry Potter. It's the most unsafe school to be at so like nothing good Oh, yeah, the mansion nothing good happens at that school The it does the thing that most movies desperately want to get past which is setting up the team Yeah, and setting up the origins this thing's like let's do all that again because I fucking hate it. So let's keep doing that. Yeah first-class at least, you know, so you don't have to like the movie But they at least they they set it up in a way that was entertaining. Yeah, and it wasn't like it didn't feel so Tacky, yeah, that was the whole point of the movie. I don't hate First-class. I just thought I was eh. Okay, so you do have common sense. That's good Yeah, the characters aren't near as exciting for me and some borderline just retarded the Moth girl or whatever and oh That was the original angel. Yeah angels in this movie. I forgot angels in this movie He's he has as much screen time as he did in x3, which is to say I thought they were moving on from that You know, I thought that's the point of rebooting or is doing a soft reboot of the series is to get past those flies You know correct your mistakes and in this movie. Unfortunately, they just kind of did yeah, it's the same. This is x3 This is Brian singers x3 as far as I'm sad and they even have an insult in the film Making fun of the x3. Yeah, the third one and all I'm thinking is you're doing it right now Yeah, this is your just because you're self-aware doesn't make it any better. No The what are apocalypse's powers he controls sand? What is he I don't get it and he can I Was more you just morph shit. He's like Elsa from frozen. He can just make clothes There's so much to do an edit where they replace apocalypse with Elsa. Yeah, let it go. He's putting clothes on people Give people more strength sure. Yeah. Yeah sure. I don't I don't know. He's like a force of nature I don't know why he's fine. He can do everything himself He was like a force of nature in the comics in the show and this one he just it was to protect him while he was getting He had to look good when he did it. I it's just it's so nonsensical For why four why not ten? You know why why any why any and He's like giving tattoos to an angel and he's giving them all he's cool and then I'll be a months there She's like, where's Aaron Rock? You're fine. You're fine. How you are was there? Imagine him putting her outfit on yeah, he's like storm. You got these cool like armor body armor Magneto you get a helmet and and you just give you like some really sexy slutty thing and that's perfect Speaking of which Olivia Munn who I thought was you know, she was fine And she's like she has maybe six lines of dialogue She did she I think she had less lines in Superman didn't Batman be super and storm has maybe 12 lines Yeah, I give Batman the Superman a five out of ten. I give this one a lower score Brutal because I think it's better in the sense that it's just so stupid and Dark and weird and different like X-Men I've seen this seven times I've seen the end of the world so many times in superhero movies too. It's nothing new You know how it's gonna turn out. I mean the only thing this had that was awesome Was that quick silver mansion scene and it was fantastic? Yeah, it was we did just see that in the previous films That's not anything new. They even had the music and everything. Yeah, the Wolverine thing that they ruined in the trailer I don't know if it would have helped anything it was a total fan service, but it was extremely forced and It had no impact. Yeah, there's no emotion to any of it. So he's just running around It's PG-13. So they're trying to be edgy by showing blood splatters on the wall I don't know. I didn't like this movie obviously and I got a lot of complaints There were some things I liked about it and I will admit that you know You know, I definitely liked it a bit more than you did but still I mean this just was not a good X-Men movie. It wasn't a good movie. It wasn't Yeah It's sad to say because I really wanted to like it I really wanted to enjoy it and there were parts where I was loving it But overall, you know, you just got to accept reality. I've never been in the comics. I don't read comics I I've read maybe a dozen in my life in this case. It didn't matter Well, what I'm getting at is X-Men was the only comic book series that I liked Oh, I even collected all the FLIR Ultra cards back in the day from like 1997 I have the entire set it made like a nine-part poster. That was awesome Yeah, I watched all the animated X-Men and so The fact that I have zero interest in these movies anymore I mean that speaks loudly to how how much they've lost to me as a audience member and and once more we end this film the same way that Marvel ends all their movies, which is Let's suit them up in new outfits and let's get ready to start another film. Yeah, again, like Age of Ultron Age of Ultron all over again. They come out in their dumb-ass new outfits. We have the music I love the outfits. They looked great, but I mean, it doesn't it doesn't make the movie good They won't wear them in the next movie. It's just like Age of Ultron I don't think anybody wore the outfit they had. Yeah, did they? No, hers is actually a little bit better giant push-up brought at the end of Age of Ultron I'm like, okay, so this is the new costume. I'm into it. I like what what they're doing here Oh, I just stole your line. It's an old line You know, it's funny people were comparing I never see the old Power Rangers movie from the 90s. I Maybe saw it on TV part of it. Okay. There was a villain named Ivan Ooze. Yeah, I've seen I've heard the complaints But here's the thing Apocalypse looked more like Mr. Freeze and Batman and Robin I thought he looked terrible and never looks better. I mean he looks like that the whole time. Yeah, like Poe God damn it. Yeah. I'm sorry. I just I'm gonna ever think of Oscar as a guy. I can't believe that's him I know he was so he's they shouldn't have got a phenomenal actor. Yeah, what a waste inside the world and David Do you ever see that? No, I did not see that. That was a great movie. What a waste of an actor It's kind of like when they had an agent Smith in Transformers as the voice. Oh, yeah, it's Megatron. Yeah Why you could add anybody the whole thing was auto-tuned and yeah, it was just ridiculous You could have taken Pee Wee Herman. Yeah, you wouldn't even know No, you couldn't even do the same thing with Apocalypse to think about because he just dubbed over as always like They built you know, is there any is there anything else we need to touch upon in the spoiler section? Is there anything else that I didn't like the Phoenix thing either? So that was no point I think the point was Brian Singer didn't get to do the Phoenix because he didn't do so here This is like apology. I'm fucking doing it. I don't care. Yeah, I don't care if you know I built it up so nicely in the first two movies And you know it actually organically made sense. I don't care I'm doing it my way now and she's just gonna have this ability. Maybe you liked it I don't know if it's here in the comments or not. You can just I'm looking forward to the feud now the feud of all the expert Oh, yeah, that'll that's gonna be interesting. Now you've seen this That's gonna go under the superhero bracket on movie feuds that I'm doing right now in tandem Jay's helping me write them which has been a huge relief Because I do have other stuff that I have to do. This isn't my job. It's just one of the many He's not a subscriber by the way subscribe because you're in this now. So you want three subscribers? You're all in you're all in all three of my oh Yeah, bring your whole finger. Bring your whole entourage. Yeah, tell your friends, too I mean, no, he's not that one. It's probably just like three Google account. Oh One other small note is the amount of single teardrops coming down the faces of people in this Oh, yeah, you could do a drinking game. Yeah drunk off your ass in 30 minutes Tyler a lot of live Tyler. Oh, yeah, right into this sexy cry. Yeah, you got rose burn Teardrops you got mystique teardrop Michael fast faster head teardrops Let's say goodbye now. Thank you for joining us on this extended car side review. What a treat This has been for everybody except for you because you have to edit it. Yeah, it's gonna be awful What what now Adam are you gonna go see the movie backdoor to China? I don't know what that is But I'm actually very interested Okay, you can find it on the internet on the internet. Oh, yeah, you can find a lot of things on the internet And instead of an eye for China, make sure you spell Thanks for watching. We'll see you next time in the car