 Hey, psyched goers, welcome back. Relationships and how not to mess them up is, was, and will continue to be a relevant topic in all forms of media. When you look at the message they're sending though, one basic, pure-ile concept shines through, reciprocal treatment. We may have heard it called the golden rule as children and now hand wave it as adults, thinking, of course, I know it. Taking a step back though, we as a society seem to have a surprisingly difficult time truly enacting this practice. Whether it's from a lack of self-awareness or forgetting that your committed romantic partner is also your best friend, we're gonna point out five habits that are destructive to relationships. Number one, the habit of ex-parasin or comparing your partner to your past relationships. As a general rule, it's considered poor taste and a weak argument to use comparisons of people we know to pit one as better than the other. This is most likely seen the more emotionally involved we are, especially past partners. Comparisons in this scenario usually develop into us making our subjective view as an absolute truth, a black or white. Unless one is aiming to slide down the lane of being a zealot, we're sure you can see how this type of comparison can be harmful. We tend to forget that just as no one person has a 100% picture of you, because only you have that, the same goes for what we see in others. In comparing the ex or the exes to your current partner, it demonstrates that the past relationship is taking up disproportionate importance in your mind. This could also present as mistrust in the current relationship, so as to use a past one as a baseline. It can also show that there's no room for getting to know someone new if you're trying to nudge the new person into being someone else. What that partner sees and feels is that they are no one, only there to somehow clone or carry on the legacy of a past relationship. Since they feel that they somehow aren't in a relationship because you actually want them, they may quickly come to the conclusion that there is no reason to stay. Number two, the habit of complacency. Don't set it and forget it. This usually happens after the honeymoon period of the relationship. You know, when the hormones cool and you no longer feel all neurons firing 100 gun salute every time the person calls you. This is a bit of a tipping point where we have to actively and consciously make maintenance efforts to the relationship. But I didn't have to think about it before, we know. That was the infatuation phase, when you not only had the super rush of hormones, but also weren't totally sure of the level of into who your partner was. It sounds like a big deal, this maintenance, but really it's just forming a good habit instead of a bad one. The habit of being complacent looks like sweatpants 24 seven, the disappearance of date nights and essentially choosing every other activity over your partner because they'll be there. The result is a partner who feels taken for granted and shoved on a back burner. The actions or inactions send a message of this relationship isn't my priority. A good habit is taking periodic relationship checks, like check-ins, maybe a surprise movie night, just something to make sure your partner understands just how important the relationship is to you. Number three, the habit of ego. This relationship isn't just you. An important aspect of relationships is communication. Communication is a two-way street. It's not you talking about yourself and everything your partner says is about you and for you. Empathy is the key and vital role here. In listening to your romantic partner, you're not only comprehending their words, but also feeling how they feel. This means not automatically jumping to the defensive, believing this is them trying to lay the smackdown on you. It's not about you. When you can empathize, you communicate that you respect and value their needs, creating a safe space for them. This allows them to open up, be vulnerable, and thus deepen the relationship. Number four, the habit of being a jerk. Don't be abusive. Remember that abuse is not only physical. Bruises, cuts and scars can also be dealt with emotionally, psychologically, and verbally. Abuse of any sort acts like a gangrenous cancer. It weakens and rots an aspect of the relationship and spreads until total destruction and decomposition are accomplished. Tying into the previous point, even if you think of it as a joke, take a moment to consider if this is really hurting your partner. So calling your partner names or belittling them might make you feel like you're being fun and laid back, but it's really crushing the communication between you both. It also breaks down the respect and subsequently the trust you have towards each other. The widening gap this drives between you leads to no longer feeling the need to carry on the relationship. And number five, the habit of infidelity. Don't cheat. All right, you can stop saying derp, that's obvious. We all know the words and we all know the logic and yet it happens so much. One wonders if we as people even get it anymore. Relationships rely on trust and love. Cheating is the clearest breaking of that trust. Cheating means that you and your partner had an agreement, a bond, and an emotional contract that was just incinerated by the cheater. It's also not always as simple as, I kiss someone else. Every relationship has its own agreements, regardless of type. You knowingly break that agreement and you've cheated. This can even include purposefully omitting information because you know that the tenet of the relationship is being breached by that info. This habit denotes that there is a lack of trust or an insecurity and sooner or later it tears the relationship apart. Did you relate to any of these habits? Let us know in the comments below. Maintaining a relationship sounds easy, yet always remember that the best things are the best because we put effort into them. Sometimes the greatest effort is looking at oneself and being honest. We have faith that you will do what is right for you and your loved one. And if it's worth it, work it. Thanks for watching and we'll catch you next time.