 Part 4, Chapter 9, of Rysman's Steps by Arnold Bennett. This Libravox recording is in the public domain. Recording by Anthony Ogis. Violet's victory. How do you feel, my girl? Henry asked. They lay again in bed together. Before leaving, the doctor had given with casualness certain instructions, not apparently important, which Violet had carried out, having understood that there was no immediate danger to her husband, and also that there was nothing immediately to be done. Dr Raster's final remarks as he departed had had a sardonic tone, almost cynical, which had at first abraded Violet's sensitiveness. But later she had said to herself, After all, with a patient like Henry, what can you expect a doctor to do? And she had accepted and begun to share the doctor's attitude. A patient might be very seriously ill, he might be dying of cancer, and yet by his callous and stupid obstinacy alienate your sympathies from him. Human sympathies were as precarious as that. She admitted it. A few minutes earlier she had lifted Henry to a pedestal of perfection. Now she dashed him down from it. I know I wouldn't feel as I do, but I do feel as I do. And she even confirmed herself in harshness. She had sent Elsie to bed for the few remaining hours of the night. She had undressed once more and got into bed herself. The light of the fire played faintly at intervals on the astonished ceiling, and sometimes shafts of moonlight could be discerned through an aperture in the thick-drawn curtains. Behind the curtains the blind could be heard now and then, answering restlessly to the north breeze. The room was so warm that the necessity to keep the bedclothes over the shoulders and up to the chin had disappeared. Violet had a strange sense of luxury, and why shouldn't we have a fire every night, she thought, and added somewhat afraid of the extravagance of the proposition. Well anyhow, some nights, when it's very cold, she gave no reply to Henry's question about her health. Henry felt much better. He had scarcely any pain at the spot which the doctor had indicated. He was as sure as ever that he had done right in refusing to enter a hospital, and has determined as ever that he never would enter a hospital. Nonetheless, he was disturbed. He was a bit frightened of trouble in the bed. He had noted his wife's face before she turned the light out, and seen rare and unmistakable signs in it. His illness was not now the important matter, nor her illness either. The important matter was their sentimental relations. He knew that he had estranged her. Convinced of the justice of his own cause, and of the folly of doctors and wives, he was yet apprehensive, and had somehow a quite illogical conviction of guilt. Violet had wanted to act against his best interests, and yet he must try to appease her. It was more important to appease her than to get well. Dr Raster, or anybody else, looking at the couple lying beneath Violet's splendid ida down, which still by contrast intensified the dowdiness and shabbiness of the rest of the room, would have seen merely a middle-aged man and a middle-aged woman with haggard faces worn by illness, fatigue, privations and fear. But Henry did not picture himself and Violet thus, nor Violet herself and Henry. Henry did not feel middle-aged. He did not feel himself to be any particular age. His interest in life and in his own existence had not diminished during the enormous length of time which had elapsed since he first came into Reisman steps as a young man. In his heart he felt no older than on that first night. He did not feel that he now in the least corresponded to his youthful conception of a middle-aged man. He did not feel that he was as old as other men whom he knew to be of about his own age. He thought that he alone had mysteriously remained young among his generation. For him his grey hairs had no significance. They were an accident. Then in regard to his notion of Violet he knew that all women were alike, but with one exception, Violet. Women were women and Violet was thrice a woman. He was aware of her age arithmetically for he had seen her birth certificate. But in practice she was a girl. Well perhaps a little more than a girl, but not much more. And she had for him a romantic quality perceptible in no other woman. He admired certain efficiencies in her but he could not have said why she was so important to him nor why he was vaguely afraid of her frown, why it was so urgent for him to stand well with her. He could defeat her in battle. He had more common sense than she had, more authority, assure a grasp of things. He could see father. He was more straightforward, in fact a superior being. Further she had crossed him, sided with the doctor against him, made him resentful. Therefore, if justice reigned, she ought to be placating him. Instead he was anxious to placate her. And on her part, Violet saw in Henry a man not of any age, simply a man, egotistic, ruthless, childish, naughty, illogical, incalculable, the supreme worry of her life. A destroyer of happiness, a man indefensible for his misdeeds, but very powerful and inexplicably romantic, different from all other men whatsoever. She hated him. Her resentment against him was very keen and yet she wanted to fondle him, physically and spiritually. And this desire maintained itself not without success in opposition to all her grievances. And, compared to it, her sufferings and his had a but minor consequence. Well, how do you feel? he repeated. The repetition aroused Violet's courage. She paused before speaking and in the pause she matured a magnificent, a sublime enterprise of attack. She had a feeling akin to inspiration. She flouted his illness, his tremendous power, her own weakness and pain. She did not care what happened. No risk could check her. You don't care how I am. She began quietly and bitterly. Did you show the slightest interest in me all yesterday? Not one bit. You thought only of yourself. You pretended you were ill. Well, if you weren't, why couldn't you think about me? But you were ill. Not that that excuses you. However ill I was, I should be thinking about you all the time. But I say you're ill, and I say it again. You only told me a lot of lies about yourself, one lie after another. Why do you keep yourself to yourself? It's an insult to me, all this hiding, and you know it. I suppose you think I'm not good enough to be told. I can tell you one thing and I've said it before and this is the last time I shall ever say it. You've taught me to sew my mouth up too. That's what you've done with your everlasting secrecy. I always said you're the most selfish and cruel man that ever was. You're ill. And the doctor says you ought to go to a hospital, and you won't. Why? Doesn't everybody go into a hospital some time or another? A hospital's not good for you. That's it. It's you better to stop here and be nursed night and day by your wife. Don't matter how ill I am, I've got to nurse you and look after the shop as well. It'll kill me, but a fat lot you care about that. And if you hadn't deceived me and told me a lot of lies, you might have been all right by this time because I should have had the doctor in earlier and we should have known where we were then. But how was I to know how ill you are? I married a liar besides a miser. Henry interjected quietly. I told you long ago that the reason I didn't eat was because I got into gestion, but you wouldn't believe me. Violet's voice rose. Oh, you did, did you? Yes, you did tell me once. You didn't think I don't remember. It was that night I cooked a beautiful bit of steak for you and you wouldn't touch it. Yes, you did tell me and it was the truth because you didn't believe it and you were glad I didn't believe it. You didn't want me to believe it. You're very knowing Henry, aren't you? You say a thing once and when it's been said it's finished with. And then afterwards you can always say, but I told you and you're always so polite. As if that made any difference. I wished to God often you weren't so polite. My first husband wasn't very polite and I've known the time when his lady's hand on me yes and more than once. I was young then, disgusting you'd call it and I've never told a soul before, not likely. But what I say is, I'd sooner be knocked about a bit and know what my man's really thinking about than live with a locked up, cast iron safe like you. Yes, a hundred times sooner. There's worse things than a blow and every woman knows it. Well, you won't go to the hospital. That's all right. You won't go and you won't go but I shall go to the hospital. The doctor will tell me to go and the words won't be out of his mouth before I shall be gone. I can feel here what's coming to me. I shall go and I shall leave you with your Elsie that eats you out of house and home. She was here before I came. I'm only a stranger. You pretend to be very stiff and all that with her but you and her understand each other and I'm only a stranger coming between you. Are you asleep? No. Violet rose up and slipped out of bed. Henry heard the sound of her crying. She seemed to rush at the fire. She poked it furiously, not because it needed poking but because she needed relief. Come back to bed, Vi, said Henry kindly. She dropped the poker with a clatter on the fender. Henry saw her, a white creature moving towards him round by his side of the bed. She bent over him. Why should I come back to bed? She asked angrily. Her voice thickened and obscured by sobs. Why should I come back to bed? You're ill. You've got no strength and haven't had for weeks. What do you want me to come back to bed for? He felt her fingers digging into the softness of his armpits. He felt her face nearer his. She mastered herself. Listen to me, Henry Earl, forward. She said in a low, restrained, trembling voice, you'll go into that hospital tomorrow morning, you'll go into that hospital, you'll go into it when the doctor comes to fetch you or if you don't, I'll, I'll, I'll. He felt her lips on his in a savage, embittered and passionate kiss. She was heroic. He a pygmy, crushed by her might. He was afraid and enchanted. No, he thought. There never was another like her. Will you? Will you? Will you? Will you? She insisted ruthlessly and her voice was smothered in his lips. Very well, I'll go. Her body fell limp upon his. She was not sobbing now, but feebly and softly weeping. With a sudden movement, she stood upright, then ran to the door, just as she was, thumbled for the knob in the darkness and rushed out of the room, banging the door after her and the noise that formidably resounded through the whole house. Her victory was more than she could bear. End of chapter 9 Part 4, chapter 10 of Ryseman's Steps by Arnold Bennett. This Librevox recording is in the public domain. Recording by Anthony Ogars. Departure. In the morning Dr Rasta unusually interested in the psychological aspect of the old forward affair arrived at about ten o'clock in a taxi cab prepared and well braced to make good his word to Violet. He remembered vividly his own rather cocksure phrase we'll get him away all right tomorrow. He was tired and overstrung and therefore inclined to be violent and hasty in endeavour. He had his private apprehensions. He asked the driver to wait, meaning to have Henry captive and downstairs in quite a few minutes. His tactic was to take the patient by storm. He had disorganised his day's work in order to deal with the matter and for the maintenance of self-respect he was bound to deal with it effectively. Further he had arranged by telephone for a bed at the hospital. The front of the shop dashed him. The shop had not been opened. The milk can had not been brought within. There it stood, shockingly out of place at 10 a.m. proof enough that something very strange had happened or was happening to T.T. Reisermans. He tried to open the door. It was locked. Then he noisily shook the door and he decided to adopt the more customary course of knocking. He knocked and knocked. Little Mr Bell rose the proprietor of the confectioner's opposite, emerged to watch the proceedings with interest and two other people from the houses farther along the steps also observed. Evidently Reismans steps was a gog for strange and thrilling events. Dr Raster grew self-conscious under the gaze of Clarkinwell. No view of the interior of the shop could be had through the book-filled windows and only a narrow slit of a view between the door blind and the frame of the door. Dr Raster peered through this and swore in a whisper. At length he saw Elsie approaching. Isn't it about time you took your milk in? He greeted her calmly, presenting her with the can when she opened the door. Elsie accepted the can in silence. The doctor entered the shop. Elsie shut and bolted the door. The morning's letters lay unheeded on the unsweat floor at her feet. The doctor had the sensation of being imprisoned with her in the somber and chilly shop. A feeling of calamity weighed upon him. The stairs in the thick gloom at the back of the shop seemed to be leading upwards to terrible affairs. He thought of the taxi meter ticking away throughpences. Wel, inquired impatiently of the still silent Elsie, well, how's he getting on? Elsie answered, Mrs must have been took bad in the night, sir. When I came down this morning, she was lying on the sofa in the parlor and I thought she was dead. Yes, I did, sir. She was that cold you wouldn't believe. Not a stitch on her but a night things. And she was in a state too. I hope you got her back to bed at once. said the doctor. I got her up to my bed, sir, and I half carried her. She wouldn't go to their bedroom for fear of frightening master and him so bad too. Of course you couldn't send for me because you know one to send, had you? The doctor began to move towards the stairs. Oh, I could have sent someone, sir. There several about here could have gone. But I understood you were coming and I said to myself half an hour more or less like that can't make much difference. And Mrs didn't want me to send anyone else either. She didn't want it to get about too much, sir. Not that that would have stopped me, sir. Soon as I see her really ill, I say, I'm responsible now, I says. Of course under you, sir, and I shouldn't have listened to her. No, sir. The doctor was very considerably impressed and relieved by Elsie's dignity, calm and power. An impossible common sense had come to life in the sealed house. Elsie was tidy too. No trace on her of a disturbed night and morning and she was even wearing a clean apron. No wearer some lamentation about the shop having to be closed. Elsie had instinctively put the shop into its place of complete unimportance. As they passed the shut door of the principal bedroom, the doctor, raising his eyebrows, gave an inquiring jerk. I did knock, sir. There was no answer. So I took the liberty of looking in. He seemed to be asleep. You're sure he was asleep? Well, sir, said Elsie stolidly and yet startlingly. He wasn't dead. I'll say that. They passed to the second floor. There lay the mistress on the servant's narrow bed, covered with Elsie's half-holiday garments on the top of the bedclothes. That violet was extremely ill and in pain was obvious from the colours of her complexion and the sharp defeated appealing expression on her face. The doctor saw Elsie smile at her. It was a smile beaming out help and pure benevolence, and it actually brought some sort of transient smiling response into the tragic features of the patient. It was one of the most wonderful things that the doctor had ever seen. Nobody could have guessed that only 36 hours before, Elsie had been a thief, convicted of stealing and eating raw bacon, and indeed the memory of the deplorable episode was erased as completely from Elsie's mind as from her mistresses. I shall take you to the hospital at once, Mrs Earl, forward. The doctor said in his prim gentle tone after the briefest examination. He added rather abruptly, I've got a taxi waiting. I think you've born up marvelously. In a few moments he had changed his plans to meet the new developments, and he was now wondering whether he might not have difficulty in securing a bed for Mrs Earl forward. I shall see properly to master, man, Elsie put in. I mean, if it doesn't go to the hospital himself. Violet nodded acquiescence. She did not want to waste her strength in speech, or she might have told them of Henry's promise to her to go into hospital. Moreover, she was suffering too acutely to feel any strong interest in either Henry or anybody else. We'll carry you to the cab, said the doctor. And to Elsie, she must be dressed somehow. Doesn't matter how. Violet murmured, I'd sooner walk to the cab, doctor, if you know what I mean. I can. Well, if you can, he concurred in order not to upset her. When the summary dressing was done, having made two journeys to her employer's bedroom to fetch garments and hat, the doctor said to her confidentially, we shall want some money. Have you any? Where is the money kept? Experience had taught him never to disperse money for patients, and he had a very clear vision of the thrupances ticking up outside in King's Cross Road. My purse on the chest of drawers, whispered Violet, who had heard. Elsie made a third journey to the state bedroom. Oblivious of the proprieties, she had not knocked before, and she did not knock now. On the previous occasion, Mr Earl Ford had merely watched her with apparently dazed indifferent eyes. But the instant she picked up the purse from the chest of drawers, he exclaimed, Here, where are you going with that purse? Mrs sent me for it, Elsie replied. From prudence, she would give him no more news than that of the situation, no knowing what he might attempt to do if he was fully apprised. Violet was carried downstairs and through the shop, and at the shop door, she was set on her insecure feet, and Dr Ruster held her while Elsie unbolted. And she managed to walk under the curious glances of a few assembled quidnunks along the steps to the taxi. Dr Ruster on one side of her, and Elsie on the other. She had foretold that the moment the doctor ordered her to the hospital, she would go to the hospital. She had foretold true. She was gone. The taxi made a whir and moved. She was gone. I'll call this afternoon, the doctor shouted from the departing vehicle. In the shop again, the encouraging smile with which she had speeded her mistress, still not yet expired from her round fat face. Elsie picked up the milk can. The letters on the floor were disdained. She thought of her presentiment of the previous evening but one. This will be the last time I shall ever wheel in the bookstand. And she had a firm conviction that in that presentiment she had by some magical power acutally into the future. End of Chapter 10 End of Part 4 Part 5, Chapter 1 Of Rheiserman's Steps by Arnold Bennett. This Libravox recording is in the public domain. Recording by Anthony Ogars. The promise. Elsie was forgetting to fasten the shop door. With a little start at her own negligence she secured both the bolt and the lock. She thought suddenly of the days only a year away yet far, far off in the deceiving distances of time when Mr Earl forward and she had the place to themselves. Mrs Earl forward had come and Mrs Earl forward had gone and now Elsie had sold charge, had far more responsibility and more power than ever before. The strangeness of quite simple events awed her. Nor did the chill of the thin brass handle of the milk can in her hand protect her against the mysterious spell of the enigma of life. She knew that the shop would never open again as TT Rheisermans. She knew that either Mr or Mrs Earl forward would die and perhaps both. And she was very sad because she felt sorry for them. Not because she felt sorry for herself. In the days previous to the amazing advent of Mrs Earl forward, Elsie had had Joe. Joe was definitely vanished from her existence. Nothing else in her own existence greatly mattered to her. She would probably lose a good situation but she was well aware beneath her diffidence and modesty that by virtue of the knowledge that she had acquired from Mrs Earl forward she could very easily get a fresh situation and from the material point of view a better one. Professionally she had one secret ambition to be able to say to a prospective employer that she could wait at table. There would be something grand about that but she saw no chance of learning such an intricate and rare business. She had never seen anybody wait at table in the little pewed eating houses to which once or twice Joe had taken her or she had taken Joe. The landlady or a girl brought the food to you and took your plate away and whisked crumbs onto the floor and asked you what else you wanted but she felt sure that that was not waiting at table not anything like it. So the ideas ran on in her mind scores of them following one another in the space of a few seconds until she shut off the stream with a murmured I'm a nice one I am. The solitary demonic figure of Mr Earl forward fast in bed was drawing her upstairs and the shop was keeping her in the shop and the plight of Mrs Earl forward was pulling her away towards St Bartholomew's hospital and there she stood like a regular hard-faced silly thinking about waiting at table. She must go to Mr Earl forward instantly and tell him what had happened. When she reached the first floor she said to herself that she might as well take the milk into the kitchen first and when she reached the kitchen she remembered poor Mrs Earl forward's bulbs the precious bulbs had been neglected out of kindness to Mrs Earl forward she went at once and watered the soil in which they were buried and put the pots out on the window sill it was an act of piety not of faith for Elsie had no belief in the future of those bulbs indeed she counted them among the inexplicable caprices of employers if you wanted a plant why not buy one that you could see instead of interring an onion in a lot of dirt still for Mrs Earl forward's sake she took great pains over the supposed welfare of the bulbs and yet it must be admitted however reluctantly her motive in so meticulously cherishing the bulbs was by no means pure she was afraid of the imminent interview with Mr Earl forward and was delaying it if she had been sure of herself in regard to Mr Earl forward she would not have spent one second on the bulbs she would have disdained them utterly Mr Earl forward was somewhat animated I didn't sleep much for first part of the night he said but I must have had some good sleeps this morning Elsie thought he was a little better but he still looked very ill indeed his pallor was terrible and his eyes confessed that he knew he was very ill he was forlorn in the disordered and soiled bed and the untidy room with its morsel of dying fire was forlorn well said Elsie nervously in a tone as if she was repeating a fact with which both of them were familiar well so Mrs has gone to the hospital she had told him she trembled for his exclamation and his questions he made no sound, no movement Elsie felt extremely uncomfortable she would have preferred any reply to this silence she was bound to continue yes Mrs was that ill that when doctor came for you he took her off instead I told her I'd see after you properly till you were fetched too sir she gave no further details I'm that sorry sir she said Mr Earl forward maintained his silence he did not seem to desire any details he just lay on his back and stared up at the ceiling the expression on his hollowed face now the face of a man of 70 drew tears to Elsie's eyes and she had difficulty in restraining a sob the aspect of her employer under the room the realisation of the emptiness of the rest of the house the thought of Mrs Earl forward snatched away into the mysterious and formidable interior of the legendary hospital were intolerable to Elsie who horribly surmise that they must be cutting up the unconscious form of her once lively and impulsive mistress to relieve the tension which was overpowering her Elsie began to straighten the rumple dider down I'll run and make you some of that arrow route sir she said you must have something so it's no use Mr Earl forward said nothing then his head dropped on one side and his eyes met hers Elsie, he murmured plaintively you won't desert me of course not sir but the doctor's coming for you never Mr Earl forward insisted ignoring her last sentence you'll never desert me of course not sir his weakness gave her strength in order to continue in activity he went to mend the fire verded out said Mr Earl forward I'm too hot she resisted well knowing that he was not too hot but that he hated to see good coal consumed in a grate where it had never been consumed before from pity she must humour him what did it matter whether the fire was in or out the doctor would be coming for him very soon then a flicker of thought for herself after the departure of Mr Earl forward would she have to stay and mind the place till something else happened or would she be told to go and let the place mind itself very probably she will be told to stay she opened the door where are you going now I'll just kind of make your arrow route sir that was what Mrs was giving you at least it looks like arrow route come here I want to talk to you have you opened the shop no sir a long pause bring me up the letters and let me have my glasses he had accepted in his practical compromising philosophy the impressive fact that the shop had not been and would not be opened without saying anything else she went downstairs into the shadowy shop a dozen or so letters lay on the floor I'll give him two or three to quiet him she thought counting him now as a baby she picked up three envelopes at random he better not have them all she thought the others she left lying she had no concern whatever as to the possible business of importance of any of the correspondence her sole concern apart from the sick room was the condition of the shop ought she to clean it or ought she to let it go she wanted to clean it because it was obviously fast returning to its original state of filth on the other hand while cleaning it she might be neglecting her master none but herself had the power to decide which course should be taken she perceived that she was mistress naively she enjoyed the strange sensation of authority but the responsibility of authority dismayed her are these all Mr Alford asked indifferently as she put the three letters into his limp shiny hand yes sir she said without compunction he allowed the letters to slip out of his hand onto the idder down she was just a little afraid of being alone with him end of chapter one part five chapter two of ricemen steps by Arnold Bennett this Leibhavocs recording is in the public domain recording by Antoniogus the refusal in the early dusk of the afternoon about four o'clock there was a banging on the shop door and the short bark of a dog who evidently considered himself entitled to help in whatever affair was afoot Elsie was upstairs during the morning several persons incapable of understanding that when a shop is shut it is shut had banged on the door and at last Elsie by means of two tin tacks had affixed to the door without a word to her master a dirty old card on which she had scrawled in large penciled letters the succinct announcement closed this had put an end to banging but now more banging the doctor Elsie exclaimed and ran down not the doctor but a lanky and elegant little girl accompanied by a fox terrier stood at the door as soon as the door opened and she saw Elsie the little girl blushed the fact was that this was her very first entry into the world of affairs and she felt both extremely nervous and extremely anxious not to show her nervousness to a servant the dog of course suffered be quiet sir she said very emphatically to the restless creature addressing him as a gentleman and the next minute catching him a clout on his hard head papa can't come and he told me to say will you please step inside Miss Rasta Elsie suggested nobody was about that Elsie with a servant's imitativeness had acquired her mistress's passion for keeping private business private the little girl reassured by the respectful formality of her reception stepped inside with some dignity and the dog, too tiredly following got himself nipped in the closing door and yelled served you right says Miss Rasta and to apologetic Elsie oh not at all it's all his own fault papa says he's so busy he can't come himself but you ought to get Mr Elford ready to go to the hospital and wrap him up well and while you're doing that I have to walk towards King's Cross for you I may have to go all the way to King's Cross Miss Rasta added proudly and eagerly but it will be all right I got a taxi for papa yesterday it was driving towards our square but I stopped it and got in and told the chauffeur to drive me to our house not very far of course papa said I should be quite all right and he's teaching me to be self-reliant and all that Miss Rasta gave a little snigger Jack you naughty boy Jack was examining in detail the correspondence which Elsie had neglected and told lies about at his mistress's protest he ran off into the obscure hinterland of the shop to stake out a claim there and after I've got you the taxi I am to walk home oh and papa said I was to say you were to tell Mr Elford and Mrs Elford we will have an operation tomorrow morning Miss Rasta was encouraged to be entirely confidential to withhold nothing even about herself by the confidence inspiring and kindly aspect of Elsie's face she thought almost ecstatically to herself how nice it will be to have her for a servant she's heaps nicer than Clara but she had some doubt about the correctness of Elsie's style in aprons oh dear oh dear Elsie murmured and they'll be expecting Mr Elford at Barts it's all arranged having impinged momentarily upon a drab tragedy of Clarkinwell and taken a considerable fancy to Elsie and having imperiously summoned her dog Miss Rasta who was being educated to leave Clarkinwell one day and disdain it departed on her mission with a demeanor in which the princess and the philly were mingled what's the matter what have you turned the light on for Mr Elford demanded when Elsie much agitated entered the bedroom what is the matter Elsie tried to compose her face how do you feel now sir she asked serpent like in spite of her simplicity and nervousness I feel decidedly better in fact I was almost thinking of getting up oh that's good because the doctor's sending a taxi for you and I am to take you to the hospital at once here's all your things she fingered a loaded chair and while you're putting them on I'll just run upstairs and get my things is the doctor here Henry cautiously inquired no sir he says he's too busy but he sent his little girl well I'm not going to the hospital why should I go to the hospital Mr Elford exclaimed with peavish rather shrill obstinacy she had known he would refuse to go to the hospital she was beaten from the start but you said you would go to the hospital sir when did I say I would go to the hospital you said so to Mrs sir and who told you Mrs sir yes but I didn't know then that your mysteries would have to go the place can't be left without both of us you aren't expecting I should leave this place in your charge besides I'm not really ill hospital I never heard of such a thing I should like to know what I've got to be packed off to a hospital I should feel a perfect fall there I'm not going and you can tell everybody I'm not going he rolled over and hit his face from Elsie and kept on muttering feeble fierce he had no weapon of defence except his irrational obstinacy but it was sufficient and he knew it was sufficient against the entire organized world if he had had an infectious disease the authorities would have had the right to carry him off by force but he had no infectious disease and therefore was impregnable now it's no use you standing there Elsie I'm not going you think because I'm ill you can do what you like to you I'll show you Elsie could see the perspiration on his brow he looked desperate he was a child, a sick man a spoiled darling a martyr to anguish and pain a tiger hunted and turning ferociously on his pursuers his mind as much of his body was poisoned Elsie said quietly to have an operation tomorrow morning sir a silence then savagely is she? they're more full her Elsie extinguished the light shut the door and ascended the stairs wondering what brilliant people clever people people of resource and brains would have done in her place when Miss Raster came back with a taxi in the gathering night having accomplished a marvellous odysi and pretending grandly the what she had done was nothing at all it was Elsie who blushed in confusion I can't get him to go to the hospital Miss Raster no I can't how? observed Miss Raster uncertainly well shall I tell Papa that? ah yes please do what I will I'm afraid the taxi will have to be paid I've left Jack in it he's so naughty a shilling I saw on the dial but of course there's the tip Elsie harried upstairs to her own room and brought down one and tuppence of her own money another minute and she'd locked herself up alone once again with a master End of chapter 2 part 5 chapter 3 of Ryseman's Steps by Arnold Bennett this Learovox recording is in the public domain recording by Antoniogus the message to Violet I'm raging in my art I'm raging in my art Elsie said to herself it makes me gnash my teeth and she did gnash her teeth all alone in the steadily darkening shop I'm that ashamed she said out loud the origin of her ex-postulation was Mr Earl Ford's obstinacy she was humiliated on his behalf by his stupidity and on her own behalf by her failure to get him to the hospital the instant would certainly become common knowledge an ignomony would fall upon T. T. Ryseman's what preoccupied her was less the danger to her employer's health and perhaps life than the moral and social aspect of her ex-postulation was Mr Earl Ford's obstinacy than the moral and social aspects of the matter she would have liked to give her master a good shaking she was losing her fear of the dread Mr Earl Ford she was freely criticising and condemning him and indeed was almost ready to execute him she who under the continuous suggestion of Mrs Earl Ford had hitherto fatalistically and uncritically accepted his decrees and decisions of almighty God he had argued with her he had defended himself against her he had shown tiny glimpses of an apprehension that she might somehow be capable of forcing him to go to the hospital against his will he had lifted her to be nearly equal with him the relations between them could never be the same again else he had a kind of intoxication well anyway something's got to be done she said with a violent gesture she rushed for her tools and utensils she found a rough apron and tied it tightly with a hard, viciously drawn knot over her white one and began to clean the shop if seen by nobody else the shop was seen by her and she could no longer stand the sight of its filth she ranged about like a beast of prey she picked up the letters from the floor and ran with them into the office and dashed them onto the desk and at that moment a postman outside inconsiderately dropped several more letters through the flat a colt you would else he angrily protested and picked them up and ran with them into the office and dashed them onto the desk oh this is no use she muttered after a minute or so of sweeping in the gloom and she turned on the electric lights only two sound lamps were now left in the shop and one in the office she turned them all on the one in the office from sheer naughtiness I'll see about his electric light she said to herself I'll burn his electric light for him see if I don't she was punishing him as she cleaned the shop with an energy and a thoroughness an example in the annals of charring this was the same woman who a short while ago had trembled because she had eaten a bit of raw bacon without authority and when having finished the shop she assorted the office she drowned the floor in dust laying water and she rubbed his desk and especially his safe with the ferocity calculated to flay them for there was not only his obstancy there was his stupidity there was his brutality there more fall her he had exclaimed about his wife soon to be martyrised by an operation and he had said nothing else then else he began to think of Dr Rasta of course he had been mistaken about Dr Rasta on the pavement in front of his house he had been very harsh with his rules about what he ought to do and what he ought not to do and before that long before that when he had given a careless look at her in the house in Ryseman Square upon the occasion of Joe's attack on her well he hadn't seen very human a finneking sort of man that was what she called him standoffish stony and yet he had got out of bed in the middle of the night for the old miser and he must have known he could never screw much money out of him and fancy the doctor coming with a taxi himself to take away the master else he had never heard of such a thing and him taking the mistress instead it was wonderful and still more wonderful was the arrival of his little girl a little queen she was and knew her way about and he'd arranged things at the hospital too oh as she reflected her humiliation at the failure to manage Mr Elford was intensified she could scarcely bear to think of it no doubt at all she had been mistaken about Dr Rasta Joe had always praised Dr Rasta and she had been putting Joe down for a simpleton as indeed he was but in this matter Joe had been right and she wrong in repentance or impenence she extinguished the two lights in the shop which she was not using her mind worked in odd ways but it had practical logic the cleaning done she doffed the rough apron she was somewhat out of breath and she seated herself in the master's chair at his desk an audacious proceeding but who could say her nay she looked startlingly out of place in the sacred chair as she gazed absently at the sacred desk the mere fact that nobody could say her nay filled her with sadness tragedy pressed down upon her life was incomprehensible and she saw no relief anywhere in the world that man upstairs might be dying probably was dying and no one knew what was his disease and no one could help him without his permission he lay over the shop ceiling there and there was nothing to be done as for Mistress the case of her Mistress touched her and she said Mistress, the case of her Mistress touched her even more closely Mistress was a woman and she was a woman she had known a dozen such cases women fought their invisible enemy for a time then they dropped and they were swept off to a hospital and the next thing you heard they were dead Mrs Earl forward alone in a hospital all rules and regulations and her husband very ill in bed home here nobody to say a word to Mrs Earl forward about home and she fretting her heart away because of master and the operation tomorrow morning and all he was very ill and people were often queer while they were ill they weren't rightly responsible you couldn't really blame them could you he must be terribly worried about everything it was a pity he was obstinate but there you were Elsie was overwhelmed with affliction misery anguish her features were most painfully decomposed under the lamp but when Mr Earl forward answering her tap at the bedroom door roused himself to make a fresh and more desperate defence against a powerful antagonist who was determined to force him to act contrary to his inclination in his judgement he saw as soon as his eyes had recovered from the dazzle of the sudden light a smiling kind an acquiescent face his relief was intense and it flowered into gratitude he thought she promised she would never desert me and she won't he was weak from his malady and from lack of nourishment he was in pain he had convinced himself that he was better but he could not deny that he was still very ill and as Elsie was all he had she could make his existence heaven or hell he perceived that she meant to make it as nearly heaven as she could she was not going to bully him she had no intention of disputing his decision about the hospital business she had accepted her moral defeat and accepted without reserve and without ill will she was bringing liquid food for him in an attractive white basin he had as usual little desire for food but the sight of the basin and the gleaming spoon on the old lacquer tray tempted him and he reflected that even an abortive attempt at a meal would provide a change in the awful monotony of his day moreover he wanted to oblige her as angelically smiling she walked round the bed to his side and stood close to him a veil fell from his eyes and for the first time he saw her not as a child woman turned servant but as a girl charged with energetic life and her benevolence had rendered her beautiful he envid her healthy vigor he relied on it the moment was delicious in the silent and cursed house I'll try he said pleasantly raising his body up and gazing at her why? she exclaimed if you haven't been making your bed no disapproval in her voice no warning as to the evil consequences of this mad escapade of making his bed any more letters he inquired after he had swallowed a mouthful a bleach a bleach I believe there was one she answered vivaciously shall I run and get it for you down she ran and picked up a letter at random off the desk in the office and she brought back also a sheet of note paper and an envelope a millboard portfolio and a pencil what's all that? he asked mildly opening the letter well you want to write to Mrs don't you? he murmured as he read the letter affecting not to have heard her he was ashamed and self-conscious because he had not himself had the idea of writing to Violet you'll be sending a note to Mrs at the hospital he'll give her a good lift up to hear from you yes he said I was going to write here I'll take that letter you can do with some of this food I should like you to let it get cold she stayed near him and held a corner of the insecure tray firmly you can't take any more? all right she removed the tray and replaced it by the portfolio which was to serve as a writing desk on the bed it was always marvellous to Elsie to see the ease with which her master wrote she had marred and she was almost happy because she had resolved to smile cheerfully and give in to him and do the best she could for him on his own lines and be an angel shall I read you what I've written? he suggested with a sudden upward glance oh sir the astounding the incredible flattery overthrew her completely he would read to her what he had written to the mistress doubtless for her approval she blushed my dear wife as you may guess I'm torn with anxiety about you it was a severe shock when Elsie told me the doctor had taken you off to the hospital without a moments delay however I know you are very brave and have an excellent constitution and I feel sure that before a week is out you'll be feeling better than you've done for months and of course the hospital is a very good one one of the best in London if not the best it has been established for nearly 800 years if it was only to be under the same roof as you I should have come to the hospital myself today but I feel so much better that really it is not necessary and I feel sure that if you were here to see me you would agree with me there is the business we thought of I'm glad to say that Elsie is looking after me splendidly but of course that does not surprise me now my dear Violet you must get better quickly for my sake as well as your own be of good courage and do not worry about me my little illness is nothing it is your illness that has made me realise that your loving husband H. Earl Forward he read the letter in a calm and even but weak voice addressed the envelope and then lay back on the pillows he was now since he had made the bed using Violet's pillow as well as his own he did not finish his food he left Elsie to fold the letter stick it in the envelope and lick and fasten the envelope she did these things with a sense of the honour bestowed upon her it was a wonderful letter and he had written it right off no hesitation and it was so nice and thoughtful and how it explained everything she had to believe for a moment that her master really was better the expressions about herself touched her deeply and yet somehow she would have preferred them not to be there what touched her most however was the mere thought of the fact that once and not so long ago either her master had been a solitary single man never troubling himself by women and no prospect of such and here he was wrapped up in one and everything so respectable and nice but he was very ill his lips and cheeks were awful Elsie recalled vividly the full rich red lips he once had she had moved away from the bed taking the basin and put it on the chest of drawers the contents of her master's pockets were on the chest of drawers where he laid them every night in order better to fold his carefully creased clothes I don't fancy I haven't got any money she said differently after a little while why isn't it your wages day you don't mean I don't know sir she had deposited nearly all her cash of his savings bank during her afternoon out and the bit kept in hand had gone to pay for the unused taxi why Elsie you must be a rich woman said Mr Earl forward what with your wages and your pension he spoke without looking at her in a rather dreamy tone but certainly interested well sir Elsie replied it's like this she's a widow same as me and she can't fend for herself all of it your mother yes sir how much is your pension 28 shillings and 11 pence a week sir well well Mr Earl forward said no more he had often thought about her war pension but never about any possible mother or other relative he had never heard mention of her mother he thought how odd it was that for years she had been giving away a whole pension and nobody knew about it in Ryseman's steps could you let me have sixpence sir Elsie Meekley asked coming to the point of a remark concerning the money sixpence what do you want sixpence for you surely aren't thinking of buying food tonight Mr Earl forward had been lying on his right side turned with a nervous movement on his right side turned with a nervous movement on to his back and frowned at Elsie I wanted to give it to Mrs Perkins boy in the square to take your letter down to Mrs at the hospital in spite of herself she felt guilty of a betrayal of Mr Earl forward's financial interest what next he said firmly you must run down with it yourself won't take you long I shall be all right I don't like leaving you sir that's all you get off with her at once my girl she was reduced to the servant again she who had just been at the high level of a confidante the invalid turned again to his right side and pushed his nose into the pillow shutting his eyes to indicate that he had had enough of words and desired to sleep his keys were on the chest of drawers and several other things including three toothpicks but not money he seldom went to bed with money in his pockets Elsie with a swift gesture silently picked up the bunch of keys and left the room a criminal she had no intention of taking the letter to the hospital herself she went downstairs quite cheerful she still felt happier because she had been smiling and neverland and yielding after her mood of revolt and because the letter to Mrs Elford was her own idea in the office she knelt in front of Mr Elford's safe no fear accompanied the sense of power which she felt there was nobody to spy upon her to order her to do one thing to forbid her to do another her omnipotence outside the bedroom could not be disputed although she was handling the bunch of keys for the first time she knew at once which of the keys was the safe key and how to open the safe from having seen Mr Elford open and close it he would have been extremely startled to learn the extent of her knowledge not only about the safe but about many other private matters in the life of the household the Elsie like most servants have secret domestic information unused but ready at any time for use she unlocked the safe and swung open the monumental door of it and pulled out a drawer and drew back alarmed almost blinded the drawer was full of gold coins full her domestic information had not comprised this dazzling hoard in all her life she was scarcely ever seen a sovereign years ago in the early part of the war she had seen a half sovereign now and then she shut the drawer quickly then she looked round scared of possible spies after all she thought she could hear creepings on the stairs and stirrings in the black corners of the mysterious shop not even when caught in the act of eating stolen raw bacon had she had such a terrifying sense of monstrous guilt her impulse was to shut the safe lock it double lock it treble lock it and try to erase the golden vision utterly from her memory she would not on any account have pulled out another drawer but lying on the ledge above the nest of drawers she saw a canvas bag this bag was familiar to her it held silver she loosened its string and drew forth sixpence then she rose tore the wrapper off a circle among the correspondence on the table wrote on the inside of the wrapper sixpence and put it in the bag such was her poor her one feasible inadequate precaution against the tremendous wrath to come she had done a deed unspeakable and she could perfectly imagine what the consequences of it might be she was still breathing rapidly when she unbolted the shop door rain was falling rather heavy rain securing the door again she ran upstairs to get her umbrella which lay under her bed wrapped in newspaper she had to grope for it in the dark roughly she tore off the newspaper downstairs again she could not immediately find the door key and decided to risk leaving the door unlocked she would be back from the square in a minute and nobody would dream of breaking in she ran off and up the steps towards the square end of chapter 3 part 5 chapter 4 of Ryseman's Steps by Arnold Bennett this Libor Vox recording is in the public domain recording by Antoniogus out of the rain mrs Perkins boy who lived with mrs Perkins in the house next door to Elsie's old home in Ryseman's square and who had a chivalric regard for Elsie fortunately happened to be out in the square in the darkness he was engaged in Amheras dialectic with the girl of his own age 14 or 15 and they were both perfectly sheltering under the eve of an outhouse church property at the northeast corner of the church yard their voices were raised from time to time and Elsie recognised his as she approached the house mrs Perkins boy wore over his head a sack which he had irregularly borrowed for the night from the express parcel company in the tales of whose vans he spent about 12 hours a day hanging on to a piece of string suspended from the van roof that he had energy left in the evening to practice savagely delicate sentimental back chat in the rain was proof enough of a somewhat remarkable quality of brightness Elsie had chosen him for her mission because he was hardened to the world and thoroughly accustomed to the enterprise of a fronting entrance halls and claiming the attention of the guardians thereof she now called to him across the roadway in an assured commanding tone which indicated that she knew him to be her slave and that in spite of her advanced years she could more than hold her own with him against any chit in the square there was an aspect of Elsie's individuality which no living person knew except mrs Perkins boy he went hurrying to her he went hurrying to her I want you to run down to the hospital with this letter and be sure to tell the porter it is to be given to mrs Earl forward tonight she's in there and his sixpence for you and I'll lend you my umbrella and I'll get it again from your mammy tomorrow morning but you must just walk to the steps from the first because I don't want to get wet right Elsie he agreed in his rough breaking voice and louder so long now put in your pocket now Elsie said handing him the letter now don't take the keys she was still carrying mrs Earl forward's bunch of keys the boy insisted on taking the umbrella which gave him almost as much happiness as the sixpence never before had he had the opportunity to show off with an umbrella he wished that he could get rid of the sack which did not at all match the umbrella's glory here hold on he stopped her and threw the sack over the railings into his mother's area they walked together towards the steps your joe's been asking for you tonight he said suddenly my joe she stood still then leaned against the railings here come on he endured her he was nervously sniggering in a cheeky way to hide the emotion in him caused by hers Elsie obeyed how do you know now just told me it's all about where did he call Hockets what did they tell him told him where you was living I suppose do you know when he was inquiring oh some time tonight I suppose now you hurry with that letter Jerry she said at the shop door Mrs Perkins Boy sailed round the corner into Kings Cross Road with the umbrella on high Elsie had the feeling that she had not herself spoken to Jerry at all but that she had heard someone else speaking to him with her voice and she was quite giddy between the influences of fear and of happiness her hands and feet were very cold all kinds of memories and hopes which she had murdered in cold blood and buried deep came rushing and thronging out of their graves intensely alive and overwhelmed her mind the anarchy within her was such that she had to think painfully before she could even command her fingers to open the shop door entering from the street you had to cross the full length of the shop to the wall between it and the office in order to turn on the electric light as Elsie passed gropingly between the bays of shelves she thought that she heard a sound of movement and then the questions struck and shook her was the door latched or unlatched when I opened it she could not be sure so uncertain and clumsy had been her hands she dared not for a moment like the shop lest she should see something sinister or something that she wanted too much to see turning the switch at last she looked and explored with apprehensive eyes all of the shop that could be seen from the office doorway nothing but the recesses of the bays nearest the front of the shop were hidden from her she listened not a sound within the shop an outside only the customary sounds which she never noticed unless attentively listening she would go upstairs she would extinguish the light and go upstairs no she could not anyhow leave the shop she must wait she must open the door and look forth at short intervals to see if Joe was coming she must even leave the door ajar for him he was bound to come sooner or later he knew where she was and it was impossible that he should not come she heard a very faint noise which sounded through the shop and in her ears like the discharge of a gun or the herald of an earthquake then a silence equally terrifying the faint noise appeared to come from the bay at the end of which was the window giving on King's Cross Road she could see about half perhaps more of this bay but not all she must go and look her skin crept and tingled the shop was now for her peopled with invisible menaces Mr Olford was so forgotten that he might have been dead a hundred years she must go and look she did go and look her heart faltered horribly there was indeed a heap of something lying under the side window Joe she cried but in a whisper by some infernal magic Mr Olford would up in his bedroom should over here Joe was a lump of feeble life enveloped in loose wet garments his hat had fallen on the floor and was wetting it he had grown a thin beard Elsie knelt down by him and took his head in her arms and kissed his pale face her rich lips found his dry and shriveled up he recognised her without apparently looking at her she knew this by the responsiveness of his lips on very thirsty he murmured in his deep voice which to here again thrilled her strange that wet to the skin he should be thirsty though she knew that he was ill and perhaps very ill she felt happier in that moment than she had ever felt happiness exultant and ecstatic rushed over her into her permeating and surrounding her she cared for nothing save that she had him she had no curiosity as to what he had been doing what sufferings he had experienced how his illness had come about what his illness was she lived exclusively in the moment she did not even trouble about his thirst then gradually a poinion yet sweet remorse grew in her because a year ago before his vanishing she had treated him harshly she had acted for the best in the interests of his welfare but was it right to be implacable as she had been implacable towards a victim such as he unquestionably was would it not have been better to ruin and kill him with kindness and surrender for Elsie kindness had a quality which justified it for its own sake whatever the consequences of it might be and then she began to regret keenly that she had destroyed his letter she would have liked to be able to show it to him to prove her constancy supposing he were to ask her if she had received it what she had done with it could she endure the shame of answering I burnt it I'm so thirsty he repeated he was a man of one idea stay there she whispered softly squeezing him and damping her dress and cheeks before loosing him she ran noiselessly upstairs and came back with a small jug of cold water from the kitchen the seemingly he could not clasp the handle she held the jug to his lips he swallowed the water in large eager gulps wait a bit now she said when he had drunk half of it and pulled the jug away from him after 20 or 30 seconds he drank the rest and sighed can you walk Joe can you stand he shook his head slowly I dropped down goody door was unlatched I came in up the rain and dropped down goody she ran upstairs again lit her candle and set it on the floor by her bedroom door when she had descended once more she saw that the candle threw a very faint light all the way down the two flights of stairs to the back of the shop she seized Joe in her arms she was very strong and he was very thin and carried him up to her room and because he was wet put him on the floor there breathless for a minute she brought in the candle and closed and locked the door she locked it against nobody but she locked it she was nurse now and he her patient she began to undress him and then stopped and hurried down to the bathroom where Mr Earl Forward's weekly clean grey flannel shirt lay newly ironed she stole the shirt then having secured her door again she finished undressing the patient taking every stitch off him and rubbing him dry with her towel and rub the ends of his hair nearly dry and got the shirt over his shoulders and turned down the bed and lifted him into her bed and covered him up and threw on the bed clothes the very garments which in the early morning she had used for Mrs Earl Forward's comforting there he lay in her bed and nobody on earth except those two knew that he was in her room with the door locked to keep out the whole world it was a wondrous palpitating secret the most wonderful secret that any woman had ever enjoyed in the history of love she knelt by the bed and kissed him again and again he smiled then a spasm of pain passed over his face what's the matter with you Joe darling what is it you've got she asked gently made blissful by his smile and alarmed by his evident discomfort I ache all over me I'm cold his voice was extremely weak she ran over various diseases in her mind and thought of rheumatic fever she had not the least idea what rheumatic fever was but she had always understood that it was exceedingly serious I shall light a fire she said announcing this terrific decision as though it was quite an everyday matter for a servant having put a follower in her own room to light a fire for him and burn up her employers precious coal on the way downstairs to steal a bucket of coal she thought I better just make sure of the old gentleman and went into the principal bedroom and turned on the light Mr Earl forward seemed to be neither worse nor better she was reassured as to him he looked at her intently but could not see through her body the glowing secret in her heart you're right sir she asked he nodded going to bed oh no not yet she smiled easy not for a long time what's all that wet on your apron Elsie she was not a bit disconcerted oh that's nothing sir she said and turned out the light before departing here I say Elsie can't stop now sir I'm that busy with things she spoke to him negligently as a stronger power to a weaker it was very queer and went out and shut the door with a smart click the greaton flew in her room were utterly unaccustomed to fires it is conceivable that they had never before felt a fire that they performed their functions with the ardor of neo-fights and very soon Mr Earl forward's coal was blazing furiously in the hearth and the room stiflingly exquisitely hot while Mr Earl forward all unconscious of the infamir above kept himself warm by bare clothes and the pride of economy alone and a little later Elsie was administering to Joe her master's invalid food the tale of her thefts was lengthening hour by hour end of chapter 4 part 5, chapter 5 of Reisamond's Steps by Arnold Bennett this Librevox recording is in the public domain recording by Anthony Ogars the two patient towards 4 o'clock in the morning Joe woke up from a short sleep and suddenly put questions to Elsie about his safety in that strange house and he said that he was in a strange house and he said that he was in a strange house and that he was in a strange house and also he inquired who's beard he was in You're in my bed Joe she answered kneeling again by the bedside so as to have her face close to his and to whisper more intimately and she told him the situation of the household and how her mistress had been carried to the hospital for an operation and how her master was laid up with an unacertain disease and how she alone had effective power in the house then Joe began excitedly to talk of his adventures in the past 12 months and she perceived that a change for the worse had come over him and that he was very ill both his voice and his glance indicated some development of the malady Don't tell me now Joe dear she stopped him I want to hear it all Press now tomorrow after you've had another good sleep I must just go and look at Mr Earl forward for a minute she offered him a drink of water and left him less to look at Mr Earl forward than in order to give him an opportunity to calm himself if that was possible she knew that in certain moods solitude was best for him ill or well and she went down the dark stairs to the other bedroom which was nearly as cold as the ice cold stairs Mr Earl forward also was worse he seemed to be in a fever yet looked like a corpse her arrival clearly gave him deep relief he upbraided her for neglecting him but somewhat timidly and cautiously as one who feels himself liable to reprisals which could not be resisted Elsie stayed with him and tended him for a quarter of an hour and then went to the kitchen which the extravagant gas ring was gently keeping warm while it warmed water and tried to dry Joe's miserable clothes Elsie had to think both men under her charge were seriously ill and she knew not what was the matter with either of them supposing that one of them died on her hands before the morning or that both of them died all her bliss at the reappearance of Joe had vanished she had horrible thoughts thoughts of which she was ashamed but which she could not dismiss if anyone was to die she wanted it to be Mr Earl forward more she could not help wishing that Mr Earl forward would in any case die she had solemnly promised Mr Earl forward never to desert him and a promise was a promise if he lived and anything happened to Mrs Earl forward she was a prisoner for life and if Joe lived Mr Earl forward would never agree to her marrying him and having him in the house with her as would assuredly be necessary having regard to Joe's health whereas with Mr Earl forward out of the way she would be her own mistress and could easily assume full charge of Joe strange that so angelically kind and unselfish a creature could think so murderously but think thus she did further the double responsibility which impulsively she had assumed weighed upon her with a crushing weight never had that always anxious brow been so puckered up with anxiety and hesitancy as now ought the doctor to be instantly summoned but she could not fetch him herself she dared not even leave her patients long enough to let her run over to the square and rouse one of her friends there and moreover she had a curious compunction about disturbing the doctor two nights in succession and this compunction somehow counted in the balance against even men's lives she simply did not know what to do she desperately needed counsel and could not get it on the whole she considered that the doctor should be sent for many scores perhaps hundreds of people were sleeping within a hundred yards of her was there not one among them to whom she could appeal she returned to Joe he was talking in his sleep she went to the window opened it and gazed out a lengthy perspective of the backyards of the houses in Kings Cross Road stretched out before her a pattern of dark walls wall, yard, wall, yard, wall, yard and the joint masonries of every pair of dwellings jutting out at regular intervals in back rooms additional to the oblongs of the houses the sky was clear a full moon had dimmed the stars and fine weather, which would have been a boon to the day was being wasted on the unconscious night the moonlight glinted here and there on a window glass every upper window marked a bedroom and in every bedroom were souls awake or asleep not a window lit except one at the end of the vista perhaps behind that window somebody was suffering and somebody watching or it might be only that somebody was rising to an interminable, laborious day the heavy night of the town oppressed Elsie dreadfully she had noticed that a little dog kennled in the yard of the very next house to Titi Rysamans was fitfully moaning and yapping then a light flickered into a steady gleam behind a window of this same house less than a dozen feet away with an uncanny effect upon Elsie the light waned to nothing and shortly afterwards the back door opened and the figure of a young woman in a loose gown with unbound hair was silhouetted against the radiance of a candle within the house across the tiny back yard of Titi's Elsie could plainly see the woman whose appearance was totally unfamiliar to her a soul living close to her perhaps for months and years and she did not know her from Eve Elsie wanted to call out to her but dared not a pretty face the woman had only it was hard, exasperated, angry the woman advanced menacingly upon the young chain dog and the next moment there was one sharp yell followed by a dimuendo succession of yells that learn you to keep people awake all night Elsie heard a thin inimicable voice say the woman returned to the house the dog began again to yap and moan the woman ran out in a fury picked up the animal and flung it savagely into the kennel Elsie could hear the thud of its soft body against the wood she shrank back feeling sick the woman retired from her victory the door was locked the light showed once more at the bedroom window and went out the infant dog as cold and solitary as ever and not in the least comprehending the intention of the treatment which it had received issued from the kennel and resumed its yapping and moaning pawl it off thing murmured the ingenious Elsie and shut the window no, she could not send anybody at all for the doctor common sense came to her aid she must wait till morning a few hours and it would be full day and the risk of a disaster in those few hours was exceedingly small she must not be a silly frightened little fool Joe was still talking in his restless sleep she quickly made up the fire and then revisited Mr Earl forward who also was asleep and talking after a moment she fetched a comb and went to the kitchen washed her face and hands in warm water took down her blue black hair combed it and did it up and she put on a clean apron she had to look nice and fresh for her patients when the next day should start for her night and day were now the same her existence had become continuous no breaking consciousness it ran on and on and on she did not feel tired on the contrary she felt intensely alive and energetic and observant and had no desire for sleep and her greed seemed to have fleft her End of chapter 5 Part 5 chapter 6 of Rheiserman's Steps by Arnold Bennett this Libravox recording is in the public domain recording by Antoniogus the second refusal she was running up the steps not as early as she hoped owing to a quick succession of requisitions from her two patients at the last moment to find a messenger in the square to dispatch for the doctor when a sharp hi hi from behind caused her to turn the summons came from Dr Rasta who had appeared round the corner of King's Cross Road Elsie ran back and unlocked the shop door the ink of her scrawled notice of closure to the public had been weeping freely in the weather of the last 24 hours you were leaving your patient Elsie said the doctor in a prim impartial voice expressing neither disapproval nor approval nor anything but just holding up the mere fact for her consideration she explained his worse of course the doctor remarked his tone not asking for confirmation almost forbidding it he was impenetrable or as Elsie thought you couldn't make anything out of him he might be tired he might not be tired he might have been roused from his bed at 2am he might have slept excellently in perfect tranquility but no, you never would know the secrets of the night were locked up in that trimly dressed bosom he was the doctor exclusively but one thing showed him human he had once again disturbed the sequence of his daily programme in order to visit T.T. Reisamans they passed through the shop on whose floor more letters were lying at the door of M.R.Fordd's bedroom the doctor paused and murmured I better hear what you've got to say before I go in she took him to the dining room where he sat down on a dusty chair to Elsie's mind the dining room was in a disgraceful state and indeed, though the shop and office had not yet seriously deteriorated from last night's terrific cleansing the only presentable rooms in the house were the two bedrooms all the rest was as neglected and forlorn as a pet animal forgotten in the stress of a great and prolonged crisis Elsie's standing gave her report which the doctor received like a magistrate she wanted to ask about M.R.Fordd but it was not proper for her to ask questions nor could she frame any formula of words in which to broach to the steely little doctor the immense fact of Joe's presence in the building been to bed he inquired coldly oh no sir had any sleep oh no sir not for two nights eh no sir, well nothing to mention when at length they passed into the bedroom Elsie was shocked at the condition of the sick bed she had left it unimpeachably smooth tidy and rectangular it was now tossed and arranged into a horrible confusion as though it had not been made for days as though for days the patient had been carrying on in it a continuous battle with some powerful enemy and in the midst of it lay M.R.Fordd whom also she had just put to rights and who after her tending had somehow not seemed to be very ill unkempt, hot, wild eyed parchment skinned emaciated, desicated creased, anxious at bay nearly desperate, mumbling to himself yet the moment he caught sight of the doctor he altered his demeanour becoming calm, still and even a little sprightly the change was pathetic in it's failure to deceive and it was also heroic well my friend the doctor greeted him staccato with his characteristic faint, nervous snigger at the end of a phrase you're here very early doctor said Mr Earl Fordd composedly at least it seems to me early he did not know the time nor Elsie either not a timepiece in the house was going and the church clock bell was too familiar to be noticed unless listened for thought you might like to know something about your wife said Dr Raster raising his voice he made no reference at all to Henry's exasperating refusal to go to the hospital on the previous day they tell me at the hospital that a fibroid growth is her trouble I suspected it were matrix the doctor glanced at Elsie as if to say you don't know what the word means she didn't but she divined well enough Mrs Earl Fordd's trouble change of life, no children the doctor went on tersly and nodded several times Mr Earl Fordd merely gazed at him with his little burning eyes there'll be an operation this morning hope it will be all right it ought to be an otherwise healthy subject yes hold this in your mouth will you he inserted a clinical thermometer between Mr Earl Fordd's white crinkled lips took hold of the patient's wrist and pulled out his watch appears you can't retain your food he said after you'd put the watch back comes out exactly as it goes down mechanical you're very strong he withdrew the thermometer held it up to the light washed it restored it to its case well we know what's the matter with your wife but I should like to say what's the matter with you yet I'm not a specialist he uttered the phrase with a peculiar intonation not entirely condemning specialists but putting them in their place regarding them very critically and rather condescendingly as befitting one whose field of work and knowledge was the whole boundless realm of human pathology you'll have to be put under observation watch for a bit an x-rate you can't possibly be nursed properly here though I'm sure else is doing her best and there's another great advantage of your being in hospital you'll know how Mrs Earl forwards going on you can't expect them to be sending up here every ten minutes to tell you nor telegraph either something else to do hospitals have another faint snigger if you'll come now I mean in half an hour or so I've arranged to get you there in comfort it's all fixed he did not say how I hear you can walk about and you made your bed yesterday now Elsie you must I won't go to the hospital Mr Earl forward coldly interrupted him I don't mind having a private nurse here but I won't go to the hospital the doctor laughed easily but you must and one nurse wouldn't be enough you'll need two and even then it will be absolutely no good you can't be x-rayed here for instance it's no use me telling you how ill you are because you know as well as I do how ill you are the battle was joined Dr Raster in addition to being exasperated had been peaked by the reports of his patients singular obstinacy he had now positively determined to get him into the hospital and it was this resolve that had prompted him to give special attention to Mr Earl forward's case disorganising all his general work in favour of it he could not allow himself to be beaten by the inexplicable caprice of a patient who in all other respects had struck him as a man of more than ordinary sound serjassity though of a somewhat miserly disposition and the caprice was the more enigmatic in that to enter the hospital he by far the cheapest way of treating the illness Mr Earl forward's obstinacy on the other hand was exasperated and strengthened by the disdainful reception given to his marvellous his perfectly restless suggestion about having a private nurse these people were ridiculously concerned about his health they had their own ideas he had his he had offered an extremely generous compromise a compromise which would cost him a pot of money and had not even been discussed the wonder of it had in no way been recognised well on the whole he was glad that the suggestion had not been approved he withdrew it he had only made it because he felt doubtless in undue apprehension that he was not yet beginning to progress towards recovery he admitted to himself for example that whereas on the previous day had been interested in his business today his business was a matter of indifference to him that he knew was not a good sign but then tomorrow would certainly show some improvement indigestion and he was suffering from nothing but acute indigestion invariably did yield to a policy of starvation as for hospitals he had always had a horror of hospitals since once in his insurance days he had paid a visit to a fellow clerk confined in a fever ward the vision of the huge long bear room with its row of beds and serid pain and distress the drafts through the open windows the rise and fall of the thunder of traffic outside the semi-military bearing of the nurses the whole sailness of the affair the absence of privacy the complete subjection of the helpless patients the inelasticity of regulations the crushing of individuality this dreadful vision had in effacibly impressed itself on his imagination the imagination of an extreme individualist with a passion for living his own life free of the obligation to justify it or explain it he had recalled the vision hundreds of times and never mentioned it to a soul he did not intend to die of his illness he knew that he would not die of it but he convinced himself that he would prefer anything even death to incarceration in a great hospital where he wrenched by force out of his bed he would kick and struggle to the very last and his captor should be stricken with the fear of killing him while trialling in their misguided zeal to save him he read correctly the pertinacity in the doctor's face but he had never encountered a pertinacity stronger than his own and illness had not weakened it rather the reverse his pertinacity had become morbid I don't think I'll go into a hospital doctor he said quietly turning his face away the words were mild the resolution invincible the doctor crossed over to look him in the face their eyes met in fierce hostility the doctor was beaten very well said he with bitter calm if you won't, you won't there's nothing else for me to do here I must ask you to be good enough to get another advisor and he transficked Elsie with a sensorious gaze as though Elsie was to blame and please remember that if the worst comes to the worst I shall certainly refuse to give a certificate a certificate, sir? Elsie faltered yes, a certificate of the cause of death there would have to be an inquest he explained with implacable and calculated cruelty but Mr Earl forward only laughed a short, dry, sardonic laugh the sun shone into the silent room and upon the tumble bed and the sick triumphant man and made the more terrible the midnight could have made them the doctor with a pompous solemnity of a little man conscious of rectitude slowly picked up his hast from the chest of drawers but what am I to do? Elsie appealed good woman, I don't know I wish I did all I know is I've done what I could and I can't take the private affairs of all Clark and Will on my shoulders of other urgent cases to attend to a faint snigger which his will was too late to suppress Elsie be all right mattered Mr Earl forward Elsie'll never desert me Elsie won't, she promised me not to walk majestically out of the room followed by Elsie end of chapter six part five chapter seven of Riseman's Steps by Arnold Bennett this we revox recording is in the public domain recording by Antoniogus malaria I suppose I must just do the best I can sir said Elsie on the landing outside the bedroom she smiled timidly, cheerfully and benevolently the doctor looked at her startled it seemed to him that in some magic way she had vanquished the difficulties of her most formidable situation by merely accepting and facing them she did not argue about them complain about them nor expatiate upon their enormity she was ready to go on living and working without any fuss from one almost impossible moment to the next during his career in Clarkinwell Doctor Raster had become a connoisseur of choice examples of practical philosophy and none better than he could appreciate Elsie's attitude that it should have startled him was a genuine tribute to her yes that's about it he said nonchalantly the kindling of an expert who had seen an undervalued unique piece in an antique shop well good morning Elsie, good morning he was in a hurry he had half a hundred urgent matters on his professional conscience what could he do but leave Elsie alone with her ordeal he could not help her and she did not need help in this particular work which was after all part of her job at 20 pounds a year and food given and stolen she was beginning to see the top of his hat that he's ascended the stairs the stupid, plump, practical philosopher wanted to call him back for an affair of the very highest importance and could not open her mouth because Mr Earl Ford's desperate plight somehow inhibited her from doing so Doctor, she exclaimed with a strange shrillness as he had passed from her sight into the shop what now? demanded Doctor Rasta sharply afraid that his connoesership should have been mistaken and she would stampede she ran down after him his gaze indicated danger he did not mean to have any nonsense I suppose you couldn't just see Joe for a minute she stammered with a blush this now faltering creature the moment earlier been calmly ready to do the best she could in circumstances which would scarcely bear looking at Joe, what Joe? your old Joe, he's here sir upstairs, came last night sir he's very ill I'm looking after him too master doesn't know what in God's name you're talking about my girl said the Doctor moving out of his impassibility she told him the facts as though confessing a mortal sin for which she could not expect absolution I really haven't a minute to spare said he and went upstairs with her to the second floor by the time they got there Elsie had resumed her self-possession the Doctor for all his detached and frigid poses was on occasion capable like nearly every man of being as irrational as a woman on this occasion he was guilty of a perfectly indefensible prejudice against both Elsie and Joe he had a prejudice against Elsie because he was convinced that had it not been for a affair with Joe Joe would still have been in his service and he was prejudiced against Joe because he had suffered much from a whole series of Joe's successors for the moment he was quite without a Joe also he resented Elsie having a secret sick man in the house and that man Joe and demanding so unexpectedly his attention when he was in a hurry and over fatigued by the ills of the people of Clarkinwell he would have justly condemned such prejudices another and especially in for example his wife and it must be admitted that he was not the Godlike little being he thought he was fortunately Joe was in a state which made all equal before him oh dear I do so I can unthustee the second patient grown desperately showing no emotion surprise all or shame at sight of the doctor and employer whom he had so cruelly wronged by leaving him in the lurch for inadequate reasons originating in mere sentiment he had been solitary for half an hour and could not bear it he wanted and wanted ravenously something from everybody he saw the world existed solely to sucker him and certainly he looked very ill forlorn and wistfully savage in the miserable bed in the miserable bedroom of the ex-charlwoman he looked quite as ill as Mr Earl forward and to Elsie even worse it's malaria said the doctor in a casual tone after he had gone through the routine of examination temperature of course it'll be better in a few days I've no doubt he had it in France first when he ever told me when they brought back troops to France from the east malaria came with them all the north of France is covered with mosquitos and they carry the disease I'll send him down some quinine you must feed him on liquids milk, barley water, beef tea, milk and soda hot water to drink, not cold and you ought to sponge him down twice a day Elsie, listening intently to this mixture of advice and information could not believe that Joe's case was not more serious than the doctor's manner implied well implanted in her lay the not groundless conviction that doctors were apt to be much more summary with the sick poor than with the sick rich and she was revisited by her old sense of this doctor's harsh indifference he not even greeted his former servant had regarded him simply as he would regard any ordinary member in a panel you won't have a great deal to do downstairs in fact scarcely anything the doctor added who apparently saw nothing excessive in leaving two patients in charge of one unaided woman she being also housekeeper, shopkeeper and domestic servant of course you can send him to the hospital if you care to said the doctor lightly I dare say they'd take him in he was in fact not anxious to insist on Joe's removal thinking that he'd already sufficiently worried the hospital authorities about the dwellers in Ryseman's steps to send Joe to the hospital would have relieved Elsie of the terrific responsibility which she had incurred by bringing him unpermitted into the house but she did not want to surrender him she hated to part with him and privately when it came to the point she shared Mr Earl Ford's objection to hospitals Joe might be neglected she feared in the hospital he might be victimised by some rule she had no confidence in the nursing of anybody except herself she was persuaded that if she could watch him she might save him I think I can manage him here sir she smiled but it was a reserved smile which said I have my own ideas about this matter and don't swallow all I hear Dr Rasker began to put on his gloves in the servants room he had not taken off his hat much less his overcoat she escorted him downstairs at the shop door he suddenly said if he does want another doctor there's Mr Adams other side of Middillton Square his features relaxed this remark was his repentance to Elsie induced in him by her cheerful and unshrinking attitude towards destiny you mean for master sir? yes he may be able to do something with him you never know I'm sure I'm very much obliged sir said Elsie eagerly her kindness springing up afresh and rushing out to meet the doctor's spark of feeling he nodded he had not said whether or not he would call again to see Joe and she had not dared to suggest it she shut the door and locked herself in the house with the two men End of chapter 7