 SEGA DRUNK The Contra franchise has been hit or miss over the years, and that's inexplicable to me. How can you screw up such a simple formula? Contra, Super C, Operation C, Contra 3, and Contra 4 for DS are all badass games that get it right, while Contra Legacy of War, Contra Advance, Contra Shattered Soldier, and C, the Contra Adventure, range from mediocre to just plain bad. Contra Hardcore falls on the good side, for sure. But this game is still tough to review. From the perspective of pure carnage, destruction, and spectacle, Contra Hardcore is frickin' unbelievable. I mean, you can't help but just gawk at this game. It's right up there with the classic treasure games like Gunstar Heroes and Alien Soldier. It's one of those things where I don't even have to say anything, just look at this. The game starts with this armored vehicle careening out of control, destroying everything in its path before you come leaping out of it, guns blazing. How can you beat that? But then you start to play the game, and you die, and you die again, and again, and again, and again. And this is just the first freaking level. Are you kidding? Yeah, that's the big problem with Contra Hardcore. It's just way too hard. The classic treasure games I mentioned earlier, they're not considered great just because the action in the gameplay, they're great because they're approachable and accessible. They're still a challenge, but they're not freaking impossible. Contra Hardcore is comically difficult. That's a shame, too, because this game has so much going for it. You can hold four weapons at once, including Clear All Bombs, and the weapons you get depend on which of the four characters you choose. Yeah, that's right. There's four new people here. Hey, wait, these aren't the Contra guys. Instead, there's Rey, Sheena, a robot, and a werewolf. Hey, fine by me, as long as I still get to blow stuff up. In addition to that, this is a story-driven game complete with branching paths that can offer multiple endings. For example, after you beat this monstrous boss at the end of the first level, you get a distress calling, and you have a choice to keep going after the boss or to head to the research center. What you choose here determines what kind of ending you get. Heh, listen to me talking about actually beating this game. What was I thinking? I don't mean to be too negative. There's so much to like about Contra Hardcore for the same reasons that everyone likes Contra games. In many ways, this surpasses Contra 3 for Super Nintendo, which is one of my favorite games of all time. For one thing, it ditches the top-down levels, and you can just see from the footage here how batshit-crazy this game is. I mean, look at these bosses. He just threw a car at me. That's awesome. It's just that Contra Hardcore really feels too fast at times. It kind of reminds me of a game like Super Ghouls and Ghosts in that regard, a game that you have to play by its rules. So there's a lot of trial and error, pattern memorization, and flawless timing that you have to master just to get by. And I suppose I just find that a little disappointing, because I always considered Contra as a more accessible, pick-up-and-play kind of a game, whereas this is a pick-up-and-die 12 times in 3 minutes and get frustrated kind of a game. Don't get me wrong, Contra Hardcore is definitely worth playing. Just be aware that it's different than the other Contra games of its era, both for better and for worse.