 J.T. L.H.O.L. The Jell-O program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Dennis Day, and yours truly, Don Wilson. The orchestra opens a program with Do I Love You. Now, often think, ladies and gentlemen, that we should celebrate the end of a good meal the same way we celebrate the end of a good year on New Year's Eve. You know, with a smile, with lots of rejoicing and good cheer. Well, the happy ending to a meal merely calls for the right dessert, a swell topper offer like Jell-O. You can serve Jell-O in dozens of different ways, and no, it will be a grand success. For one thing, Jell-O looks so good with its brilliant glowing colors that seem to say, here you pick up a spoon and begin. And for another thing, Jell-O tastes so grand because it has an exciting, extra-rich flavor. A flavor as refreshing and delightful as the real ripe fruit itself. Just be sure of one thing when you buy. Be sure to look for the name Jell-O on the package. Well, that name is a trademark. It's the property of general foods and it tells you here's the real thing. The one and only Jell-O. So remember, those big red letters spell Jell-O and Jell-O spells a treat. Here, 1940. So without further ado, we bring you a man who was once 19 and once 40, Jack Benny. Jell-O again, this is Jack Benny who was rapidly closing in on social security talking. And Don, you can go right ahead and kid about my age because I'm not the least bit sensitive. Remember that famous saying, Don, a man is just as old as he feels. How do you feel, Jack? Ooh, Johnny. But I'm only joking, Don. I'm one guy who welcomes every new year. It brings new life, new hopes, new calendars. Boy, they sent me enough calendars this year to paper my living room. Ah, Jack, don't tell me you hung up all the calendars people sent you. Why not, Don? They have gorgeous paintings on them. I got a honey from my tailor. It's a picture of a beautiful Italian girl sitting in a gondola with her reflection in the moonlit waters of the Grand Canal in Venice. Oh, it's a Lulu. From your tailor, huh? Yes, and right under the picture is this Italian girl's name, Pleso Remitto. That's the most artistic hint I ever got. You think it'll work? I doubt it. When they get subtle with me, I burn up. And say, Don, I got the cutest calendar from that little restaurant down the street where I eat once in a while. Or you mean Ginsburg's Hanging Gardens? That's it, that's it. Well, their calendar has a picture of the restaurant and right under it is their new slogan, Ginsburg's Grill, where the matzo ball meets the soup. Isn't that original? It certainly is. Hey, Jackson, did you get one of those calendars from the Wilshire Bowl? No, Phil, I didn't. You didn't get one with my picture on it? Your picture on it? Why, certainly. Yeah, the one where I'm standing with a baton in my hand, leading a 75-piece Philharmonic Orchestra. No, what's the title of it? It Can't Happen Here. Phil, where did you ever have a picture taken with 75 musicians? Ocean Park, they do it with mirrors. I knew there was a trick to it. Oh, hello, Mary. Hello, Jack. Happy New Year, everybody. Happy New Year, Mary. Well, I was just telling Don and Phil about the calendars I got this year. Gee, I got them hanging in every room. Did you tell them about the one you got from your life insurance company? Oh, that silly thing. They got their nerve. Oh, what was it, Mary? Just a picture of a hand with two fingers crossed. Hey, they aren't so worried. See, I wonder who thinks up all those calendars. They sent me a bunch of them, too. And Jack, you ought to see the swell one I got from the May Company. You got one from the May Company? Yeah, there's a beautiful picture of the store. And right under it says, Come back, all is forgiven. It's nice to know there's a job waiting for you just in case you get fresh tonight. Well, I ought to get fresh after that Christmas present you sent me. A fine gift, a saucer. Now, wait a minute, Mary. It might not look like much, but that saucer I gave you happens to be real pewter. It certainly does. Well, there's no use talking to you. You just don't know a genuine antique when you see it. That saucer came over on the Mayflower. I believe you still had coffee in it from the Pilgrims. Well, the Pilgrims made very good coffee, so stop complaining. Did you have a nice Christmas, Don? Oh, yes, I did very well. In fact, I got some of the most beautiful presents I've ever seen. You did? What'd you get, Don? Well, I got some gold cufflinks, a moving picture camera, a camel's hair overcoat, a golf ball, and a diamond wristwatch. Well... Thanks for the golf ball, Jack. You're welcome, Don. You do play golf, don't you? No. Oh, oh, well... You really ought to take it up, Don. It's a great exercise for a fella like you and there's so many beautiful courses around here. That's fine. You give a guy one golf ball and right away you want him to join a country club. Well... Why don't you give him a porthole and a buy yacht? Mary, before you continue, remember the main, the Alamo, and the May Company. Ah! Anyway, Don, I'm sure glad Santa Claus is so nice to you. Oh, yes, I'll never forget this Christmas. I, too, had a joyous jewel tied. Did you, jazz ball? What did Santa have in his bag for you? Well, besides that golf ball... Thanks. You're welcome. Besides that, I got some neckties, a gold key chain, and a lovely cashier sweater. A what? A cashier sweater. You know that soft, wooly stuff? That's cashmere! Well, so much for the presents. And now, Dennis, oh, Dan, we're ready for a song. How about it? Oh, no dialogue, eh? Oh, I'm sorry. Sorry, Dennis, you, uh... Hey, really, I am sorry. You should have a little something to do here. Tell me, did you have a nice Christmas? Yes, well... That's good. Did you get a lot of presents? Yeah, lots of them. I see. Did you enjoy them? I sure did. Well, that's fine. That's fine. Fine. Well, no laugh so far. I guess that better sing, eh? Mr. Benny? Yes. Did you get that calendar I sent you with Lady Goodiver on a horse? Yes, I did. That was me with my hair down. Goodbye. It looks like a honeydew melon with ears. A song this year. That's the last time we'll hear your voice in 1939. Gee, time certainly flies, doesn't it? I'll say it does. You know, Dennis, it seems like only yesterday I was your age. Only yesterday I was 19. And the day before yesterday washed and crossed the Delaware. I'm talking to Dennis. It wouldn't hurt if we had a little bit of sentiment this evening. As I was saying, Dennis, 1939 is soon coming to an end. In just a few more hours, the old year will pass right out. And I won't be far behind. You won by eight lengths. I suppose all you guys are going to celebrate tonight, make whoopee and everything. Are you stepping out tonight, Don? Yeah, I'm going over to the Florentine Gardens and see Sally Rand to her fan dance. Why, Don, you're blushing already. How about you, Mary? Where are you going? I'm going over to Ginger Rogers' house. She's having a whole mob of people over, but she told me not to tell you, so forget it. Well, I know why. She saw an account of those Christmas cards I sold her. What's the matter with her cards, Jack? I told Rochester just to print Ginger Rogers on them, and he underlined the gin. He has to get so fancy. Well, Jack, I see you've got your tuxedo on. What are you going to do tonight? Me? Oh, I've got a date down with my girlfriend. And we're stepping out, high, wide and handsome. I'll bet. Well, we are. I'm going out with Gladys tonight. I've got a big roll of bills, and I'm going to shoot the works. What's that bulge in your hip pocket? That's my dime bank. If necessary, I'm going to crack that open. Gladys and I are going to town. Well, Jack, as long as you've got a heavy date, you ought to have another tuxedo. That one looks awful with those moth holes on the shoulders. Oh, it's New Year's Eve, and they throw a little confetti on me who'll see him. Gladys won't mind. Oh, boy, am I going to have fun tonight? You are, Dennis? Yeah, I'm taking my girl to a midnight show. Wow! Well, what's so thrilling about that? We aren't going to watch the picture. Oh, yes. Those were the days. Well, anyway, fellas, I'm going to have to leave early tonight, so before I go... Hey, Jackson, who is this Dame Gladys? Is she in the movies? No, but she could be. She tested for the part of Scarlett O'Hara and gone with the wind. Who didn't? You didn't. Take that back, sir. Or I'll pause with you. Sorry, ma'am. May I offer my humble apologies? Rest is come here. There's a weevil in my jeweler. Well, we've gone far enough. No, we haven't, Colonel. Ladies and gentlemen, next time you're in the mood for a little old tempt and dessert, why don't you run down to that little old grocery store and ask him for a little old package of jello? Hmm. It comes in six little old flavors, strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange, lemon, and little old lime. Show now. That's very good, Colonel Wilson. Powerful good. Hey, Mr. Benny, what's the big idea? It's pay, Dame. We're all going to get Confederate money. I suppose that's hay. Anyway, fellas, getting back to wherever we were, as I was saying, I've got a date, so I have to leave pretty soon. But before I go, I want to tell you all to be here early next Sunday because we're going to do a very important play. What's it going to be, Jack? We're going to present our version of William Perlberg's outstanding Columbia film production, that sensational stage hit and screen masterpiece, that dramatic cinema achievement, Golden Boy. Thank you, Goldie. Now, so remember, fellas, be here on time next week, as this is a long play. Sure will be, Jack. Well, I'm going to run along now. Can't keep Gladys waiting. Take over the show, will you, fellas? Sure, Jack. We'll carry on. Say, did you hear this one, folks? I call my girl Grapefruit because every time I squeeze her, she hits me in the eye. Squeeze me, Phil. I'll hit you in both of them. Now I am leaving. Oh, don't go yet, Jack. I want you to hear my New Year's poem. You can read it later, Mary. I haven't time now. Oh, just when I'm enough, oh, just when I'm in a hurry. Come in. Hiya, Buck! If you'd have been a second later, you'd have missed me. I was just leaving. I'm going to have a big night tonight. Me, too, Buck. I'm taking Ma and Pa over to the Wilshire Bowl. Over to Phil's place, eh? So you're spelling a little do on the old folks. Oh, it won't cost me nothing. Pa writes all of Phil's material. I knew it wasn't Alexander Wilcox. So you're taking Ma and Pa to the Wilshire Bowl, eh? Are they going formal? Yeah, you ought to see Pa. Top hat, white tie, and jug. Well, taking a jug of corn to Harris's place, eh? That's like carrying coals to Newcastle. Well, I bet you have fun at that. Is your Ma going to wear an evening gown, Andy? I think so. She just had her tattoo retouched. Your arm was starting to fade. Come to think of it. Well, I... Wait a minute, Andy. I'm leaving right away. I'll walk downstairs with you. See what it is, will you, Mary? I got it. It's here. Oh, Jack, it's for you. It's Gladys. Gladys? I'll get that phone. You better run along, Andy. See you later. Okay, buck! Hello, Gladys? Yeah, this is Speedy. You can't go. But Gladys, I got my tuxedo on. See, I got reservations and everything. Gee. Tell her about your dime bank. Quiet. Now, look, Gladys. Well, of course I believe you, but... Gee, it's New Year's Eve. You gotta go. Oh, gee with Gladys. Won't you change your mind? Of course I will. Thanks. Mary, stay out of it. Gladys, isn't there some way you can make it? But, honey, I got two tickets for dinner. I'll be so stuffed, I can't walk. See you next week, Gladys. Goodbye. Excuse. And she's nuts about me, too. Well, she is. Well, don't take it so hard, Jackson. Come on out with me tonight. I'll get you a date. No, thanks. I don't feel like going anyplace. Oh, come on with us, Jack. We'll have a lot of fun. No, Don. Thanks just the same. I'm gonna drop over at Ginsburg's, have a cup of coffee, and then go home. Well, look after the show, Don. Happy New Year, everybody. Happy New Year, Jack. So long. Gee, I wish Jack had waited and gone along with us. Yeah, no fun being alone on New Year's Eve. I'll say it isn't. Pardon me, fellas, I forgot my cane. Oh, well, it's just like finding the money. Good night, sir. Good night. Oh, by the way, Mr. Benny, thanks very much for that golf ball. Did you got my calendar? Yes, I did, Sam. I liked it better than last year. It's nothing fancy, and still, it's for nothing, you know? It's lovely, Sam. Are you all alone tonight? Yep. Just dropped in for a cup of coffee. With a tuxedo and it's five cents extra. Yeah, but with that tuxedo, let it go. Would you like a sandwich or some toast with it? Want a little cream with it? I'm sorry about that. That's all right, Gladys. Couldn't have let me know before the last minute. I'm sorry, Speedy. Well, see you're wearing my corsage on that uniform yet. Forget about the coffee. I'm going home. I'll be through at three o'clock. At three o'clock, I'll be snoring. Goodbye. Well, if that's the way you feel about it, here's your golf ball back. Gee, thanks, Mr. Benny. You're welcome. Say you're sure you won't change your mind to go out with me and may me? Well, thanks, Joe, some other night. Good night. After what she did to me, I'll turn in. Is that you, Josephine? Go to bed. Why aren't you sitting in the library? It's nice and... I guess I will at that. Say, where's my sister and brother-in-law, Mr. Fenchel? Your sister, your brother-in-law, and your full dress suit are out for the evening. I wish Leonard would stay out of my clothes closet. Where's our border, Mr. Billingsley? He ain't come home yet. Gee, that fire looks good. I'm going to sit down in this easy chair and relax. Do you want your bedroom slippers? Yes, Rochester. Take them off. Bring me a glass of milk, will you? Milk? Wouldn't you like something a little stronger tonight, boss? No, Rochester. I got a bottle of champagne right here. Can I pour you a glass? No, Rochester. Don't you want just one little sip? No, I don't want one little sip. Well, can I even wave the cork under your nose? Here's a glass of milk. Well, Rochester, in just a few hours, it'll be 1940. A brand new year. You ain't getting off to a very good start, is it? No, it isn't. But all this quarreling and fighting that's going on in the world? Yeah, that's bad. Yep. You know, Rochester, what this world needs is more peace, more brotherly love. Boss, what this world needs is a few less people taking less people. Here, Rochester, will you? Okay. Oh, good evening, Mr. Billingsley. Good evening, Mr. Benny. Happy New Year. Same to you. Won't you sit down for a few minutes? No, thanks. I think I'll turn in. Good night. He's an awfully nice fellow, but I wish he wouldn't walk on his hands all the time. Rochester, turn on the radio. I want to hear how our program is getting along. It's over, isn't it? Not yet. I think I'll get to bed. Ain't you going to stay up and welcome the New Year in? No, I'm tired. Good night. Good night. Have I slept late? How late do you want to sleep? Till about Thursday. Good night, Rochester. Good night. Ginsberg's Restaurant. Happy New Year, boss. A remark, ladies and gentlemen, that could very easily lead to something. And it does. It leads to something mighty good because it's the first line of a recipe for making a grand new jello dessert called pineapple snow. And here's how you make it. Dissolve one package of strawberry jello in one cup of hot water and add a cup of golden fragrant canned pineapple juice. Chill until cold and syrupy. Then place in a bowl of cracked ice, add one egg white, and whip with a rotary egg beater. And that's pineapple snow, a swell treat, with its foamy rose pink color and the rich flavor of strawberry jello combined with tangy pineapple. You've probably already planned your whole New Year's Day dinner for tomorrow, but if you're still trying to think of a simple, yet simply elegant dessert for that late evening supper, here's the answer. Use strawberry jello and make some delicious pineapple snow. Last number of the 13th program in the New Jello series, and we will be with you again next Sunday night at the same time. So to be sure to tune in and listen to our version of Golden Boy. Happy New Year, everybody! Happy New Year! Happy New Year! Happy New Year! News. Every Tuesday night, the Aldrich family is on the air starring Asher Stone and Henry Aldrich, that lovable hard luck kid. Consult your local newspaper or radio guide for time and stations. And be sure to tune in on the Aldrich family next Tuesday night. This is the National Broadcasting Company.