 Do you like, who matters? You're just a good person. Like just be yourself and be confident, man. Actually, I take that back now. I'm thinking about it. Yeah, maybe there was. But I just go up to a girl and just say, yeah, just think you're really hot. What do you think about me? You just gotta walk up in there like you got 10 inch balls or I mean a 10 inch shaft. Are Asian men still considered the lowest ranking males in the dating pool? And if that's not true anymore, what's changed? Welcome everybody to the hotpot boys. David and Andrew here. We're gonna be reacting and analyzing BuzzFeed's viral video. Why aren't Asian men sexy? Yeah, I mean this video came out five years ago. It's got millions of views, like 15,000 comments. And you know what's interesting about this racial stereotype, Andrew? Is some people take it so trivially that they'll just joke about it at work. And some people take it so serious they'll run like five subreddits solely dedicated to this topic. So clearly guys, there is some confusion that we need to sort out. All right, that's why we're talking about it. And that's what we're gonna be breaking down this video clip by clip. All right, if you guys are interested, please hit that like button, check out other episodes of the hotpot boys. Let's roll it. Gentlemen, welcome. We are here today to talk about why the aren't Asian men considered sexy? Yeah, and yes, to be honest, this is kind of a serious conversation. More serious than it sounds. Cause I think some people are like, Oh, what do you care who thinks you're sexy? Like who matters? You're just a good person. Like just be yourself and be confident, man. But to be honest, your sexual market value as in like how much you appeal to the opposite sex or women in this case that you're trying to attract. It's like, honestly, if women don't even respect you and desire you in a weird way, it's like a lot of men aren't even gonna respect you. Like I have heard so much slander about Asian men because they think a lot of Asian women don't like Asian men. I'm not saying that's true, but clearly a portion don't prefer Asian men or don't end up with Asian men. So a lot of non-Asian guys get the sense and then they use that to look down on Asian men. I'm not saying that's right. I'm just saying that's what happens. Yeah. I mean, it possibly could impact your ability to lead men of other ethnicities if they don't respect you or think you just a small weak dude with a small weenie or whatever. Anyway, I will say this. I think that this is true in the macro and any Asian guy in America would agree with you whether they're going through that or not or have all these deep anecdotes from their up childhood or not that this is a overarching issue. It's sort of like any black American whether or not they actually had a downside relationship with the police themselves, they would be like, yes, there are strained relationships between the African-American community and white police departments or just a police department. But the actual individual personal experiences may vary like your mileage may vary. And that could matter a lot on the cities an Asian guy grows up in the city that the high school they're from, how tall or rich or good looking they are, their group of friends, their specific exposure. Why do you think Asian men are considered sexy? It's the result of effectively a historical campaign. I mean, Asian immigrants first started coming to this country, everything from political cartoons, obviously government policy, it was all about kind of framing Asians as almost a bestial vermin. And when we're kind of pushed in one direction as sort of over sexualized, exotic, and men meanwhile were pushed into this corner of neutered eunuchs with tiny bodies and barbaric tendencies. Tiny bodies. Yeah, you know what? I agree that definitely Hollywood in the media has always portrayed Asians, especially Asian men in a negative light and Asian women in a negative light in their own way. However, I don't know if there was like a concerted like governmental effort. Actually, I take that back now I'm thinking about it. Yeah, maybe there was because they excluded us. So yeah, actually, I agree, but here's my thing. That happened many, many years ago and we have to look at ourselves as modern men in the 21st century and be like, okay guys, what can we do now? It's not all the media's fault. I'm not blaming media from 100 years ago anymore. I'm past it, I'm done. They did it, they did us wrong, but that's not affecting me very much. I'm not a big fan of putting like all my worth in a social sense or a media sense as an Asian American male in like Dweeby writers from like 120 years ago, 130 years ago, even 20 years ago or 10 years ago with this like my two broke girls character or whatever. Like I just believe in self agency. Yes, all that stuff did happen. Yeah, sure there was Cesar Hasagawa and then you know, that's like saying there was Wat Masaka in the NBA, you know too. I mean, at the end of the day, we have to look at what we can do. But yes, I do agree with Jeff Yang. They were not nice to us as far as the silver screen goes. You know what this reminds me of? Chris Rock's joke. It's the media, Chris, it's the media. Why you gotta say that, it ain't us, it's the media. It ain't us, it's the media. I mean, it's interesting though, even like the Nazconized roles, like the, you know, say martial artists and so on and so forth, they're still kind of not getting any, you know. Yeah, I mean, this is a good observation that Jeff made to be honest, but I will say this, did martial artists ever really get that many girls? Cause it's not really like them being a martial artist. Cause like, I don't think a lot of like sex appeal or like a big group of women was always like rewarded to like just a kung fu master, you know what I'm saying? You're saying the Shaolin monks in Shaolin is not the biggest players in China? I'm just saying Sumos, the fat guys, they got all the women. Oh, they're very indulgent, man. They got to eat everything, do everything. Yeah, eat a lot, smash a lot and die early, man. That's what life is about. I think that this literally comes down to three problems, Andrew. I think that, no, by the way, that Jet Lea Lea kiss did get struck from the movie due to audiences not accepting it. So number one, I do think that non-Asians are not used to Asian guys getting women that are hot of almost any type, but particularly non-Asian women. So that's their cognitive dissonance. That's the shame of like lowered expectations for Asian men's sexual market value, but it is what it is, okay? So that's blaming the non-Asian audiences. Actually, I think ancient Chinese culture might have an issue in terms of not giving like the most disciplined warriors, actually a lot of women, but rather giving the philandering like bureaucrats, almost like a Hollywood producer type, all the women, and you can even see it in Crazy Rich Asians with Jimmy O. Yang's character. It's a Wen versus Wu masculinity problem. I have never been a fan, Andrew, in ancient Chinese culture, and you guys can look it up of how the philandering bureaucrat does better with women than an actual righteous warrior fighting for this life for the right things. But anyway, that's a whole nother thing. And number three, Andrew, I think that a lot of Asian movie stars deserve a little bit of blame, Jackie Chan, Donnie Yen even, because they get a lot- Are you speaking on the goats? They get a lot of women in their Asian movies, but how come when they came to America, they pretty much were chasing the bag and they did not care at all if their characters were portrayed as like asexual or goofy, specifically Jackie. And you know, Jackie and Bruce Lee, those guys, you know the martial artist Andrew? Those guys in real life are dogs. They were actually again with a lot of women, but yeah, no, the roles didn't show it. I mean, it's also Asian culture, man. They don't want to glorify the Playboys as much. Like, I just don't think that they want to put that influence out there, and then I don't think that's how they think society should run. But yeah, I mean, anyways, I just got to give a shout out. It's kind of weird how like an Asian guy can be like a Playboy in Asia where everybody's Asian, and then they cross the border into America, and then they're just like, ooh. And you know, the same way reverse Andrew, the same way works reverse, you've met guys that are Asian-American that are kind of like, oh yes, sir, I'll stay for the weekend. You can give me the extra work, essentially some caricature of like Harold and, character and Harold and Kumar. And then essentially when they go over to Asia Andrew, they be acting like Andrew Tate. There's a really interesting valley we're discussing where the two peaks for Asian male attractiveness these days is like really strong viral masculinity or really specifically designed femininity. But this valley of what we might call, in a layman's way, the average Asian-American male is never really spoken to. And what's interesting is I feel like the average male in other cultures, specifically let's say with white American culture, is constantly spoken to. Like the idea of being an average Joe is literally almost a badge of honor. You even see more diversity of size and shape and so forth among African-American Hispanic actors, at least in comedies, right? If you are an Asian lead, you almost have to be super hot. People talk about K-pop as if it's going to save the world, right? Like Asian idols from Asia are going to make it all good for the rest of us. And the fact is, as much as I appreciate that it's kind of cool that it's being imported here, it's again, one of those things which doesn't quite solve it for just everyday Asian guys in the middle of America. If I tell you, and I'm at a party, I'm like, oh, I want you, my girlfriend to meet my friend. He's a white guy. What does he look like? You know, Brunette, and he's like a little husky, but he's really funny. And they'll be like, oh yeah, sure, I'll meet him, whatever. And then I'm like, oh, you want to meet my, here's my Chinese friend. He's coming. He's kind of, you know, he's like black hair and a little husky. They'd be like, I'm going to go to the bar. That is so funny. It's so true. It's very true. Everyone has gotten that. Yeah, I mean, this was actually the main point of the video is that they're talking about the average Asian man. Because now we know that we have a top tier Asian guy, whether that's K-pop, stars, K-dramas, or any Asian pop stars, right? We have our top guys. So those guys are attractive to a large portion of the world. Maybe they're not as attractive as Leonardo DiCaprio's, right? But they are hot. But what about the average Asian guy? And it really comes down to like, one, how close are you to the blast zone? There's a blast zone of the movement. And if you look nothing like them, then you're farther away. So you'll benefit very little, but maybe still a little bit. And then the more you look like them or fall within that culture, you're gonna benefit more. Yeah, like how well can you pull off the K-pop look? Or how well can you pull off that K-drama, J-drama, like I'm in a tailored suit look? I think that matters. I will say this real talk, Andrew. Though basically the way I would break it down as far as like an average Asian guy goes, I consider myself an average Asian guy. And like versus average white guys go is like, let's say for example, there's two guys and they're both ranked like a six, right? The white guy back in the day, he might get a plus two to a eight. And then an Asian guy might get a minus two from a six to a four. So now you have the average guy that is equivalent to another average guy, but one is getting treated like a eight in society and one is getting treated like a four. Now in 2022, I do not think that disparity is that large anymore. I think the white guy might get a bump to a seven and the Asian guy might get a discount down to a five. So it's still there, but it's not as big of a gap and a chasm as it used to be. Yeah, and I still by the way think that a lot of like handsome, good-looking, way above average Asian guys are still getting fractionated. They're still getting hit with the minus point, but it might not be two points. It might not be one point. It might be half a point, but they are definitely still getting hit usually. I mean, think about it logically. Let's say for example, theoretically, I'm a nine out of 10 Asian guy. If I got to take a one point hit to eight out of 10, my life is still pretty fun. I'm still, my Google calendar is still filled with dates. You still getting matches on? Yeah, you'll accept it. You'll go, okay, yeah, I'll stay in America. I don't need to go to Asia. I don't need to move to Enclave or whatever, because you're like, okay, well, yeah, I'm getting hit from eight to seven point five. I can still live. Now, Andrew, if you're a guy who was born like a five and you take going down to a four or a three, you might just give up and we actually see that a lot. Some people almost go, well, you know, the weapon tree I got is so bad and I'm taking a discount. I'm just going opt out of the game. No, honestly, I know normal acting 30 year old Asian dudes who make like six figures and they just don't even care about dating. It's almost like they're opting out of the game except they're not moving. They're just staying in one spot and anyways, they're kind of giving up. But anyways, like I was saying, like I think a lot of Asian guys, and I'm going to close off this clip with this point is like, I think a lot of Asian guys don't get a lot of coaching or they don't take their social life seriously. And as an average Asian guy, you do have to do a few more hacks. You got to figure it out. You got to think of solutions. You have to treat your social life more like you treat your job. Like how did you maneuver your career to get where you wanted to go? You almost have to transfer some of that thinking to your social life and upping your like sexual market value. For sure. I think you have to attack the angles just like a short white guy or a short Asian guard in the NBA. They have to know the angles at an even more elevated level than their competition. Every time I hear the term preference brought up in any kind of conversation, it always feels like it's a danger signal that somebody's about to like say stuff that's bullshit. Yeah, I think it's funny man. Shout out to Jeff for this comment. I always say the same thing because I mean everybody can have a preference. Everybody can date who they want to date, eat what they want to eat, do whatever they want but everybody has their reasons. And if you can't think of any, I think it's you trying to avoid a hard conversation. So for example, I've talked to Asian women who have like mostly date white guys and I'm like, oh yeah, like why do you prefer to date them? Like, you know, I'm just trying to have this conversation. I'm trying to learn something. And sometimes they just give me the answer like, I don't know. Like, it just happens. Everybody has reasons, come on. Oh my gosh, that's such a cop out but it's human to make a cop out because humans don't like to think about harsh realities and whatever about themselves. I would say this, I mean, why do Indians like spice so much in their food? Why do Koreans like to use gochujang so much? Why do people from the Sichuan province in China love to put mala chili oil and like red and green chili peppers on everything? Is that just a preference that happens out of nowhere? Or listen guys, it's culture, it's upbringing, it's the climate, it's what it is. Hey, you know what's really funny? I noticed that for a lot of non-Asian women who now say they prefer Asian men, if you ask them this question, they all have very well thought out ideas on why they end up preferring Asian guys. As opposed to I feel like obviously when it's like kind of white people or white guys are kind of the default in America, they're kind of like the main ones, then it's not like, it's pretty obvious on why you would prefer that because that's like the culture we raised with America. But when you want something different, then you gotta think more about it and be like, yeah, I think it's the family values or they're really nice or I like they're straight black hair. Be more conscientious about your decisions when you're not making the default or conventional choice. I mean, it's sort of like if somebody were to buy a Kia over like a BMW, usually they would have hella justifications because they'd be like, I got more features for the money, I got the great warranty. Of course we are not saying that every Asian girl who ends up with like somebody non-Asian falls underneath this at all, just saying for this particular excuse. What I really encourage, especially a lot of viewers out there, is to not be as reactive like everyone is, but be more responsive. Like if you see something where you want to see more Asian American men in media, sometimes it's not just the actors. You have to find out who the executive producers are on a project. You have to find out who's the writer. Like there's so many different things at play that shape the idea of what's being told to young people in entertainment, in politics, in media. Yeah, I mean, I sort of agree with Eugene in the sense like if you work in Hollywood or you live in Hollywood or you're like career is in media. But yeah, for the average Asian guy, no man, don't do this, don't track down writers and producers and be like, hey, are you gonna write in a good Asian male character? And I have a recommendation. I found his IMDB, you should use this actor. It's not gonna work. That's not how things work. I think you have to think about what you're gonna do in your life. Because like we said earlier, the average Asian guy, they have a little bit more maneuvers that they have to make. And one of the maneuvers, for example, is like moving, moving environments. Like just changing your scenery and going to a place where you think that it has different dynamics and a different demographic. Oh, you're trading without much of a discount. Yeah, what do they call it? Geomaxing, is that the term on the internet? Yeah, no, that is the bro term for it. Geography is of course huge because you shift your environment. That's like shifting your game map or like whatever pool you're fishing in or whatever like that. Point number two, changing your personal looks rating. Obviously that's getting in the gym. Look at better, better skin. Do whatever you can. Of course there are genetic limitations. We're not all six feet tall with like six, you know, born with like six pack abs or whatever. Anyway, then of course, Andrew, here's the last thing that a lot of people don't think about. What target market of demographics are you chasing after for even like, for example, women, you're like, if you only want like tall French and like British or like Scandinavian models, that might not be as good of a choice as saying, oh yeah, I want like a Latina girl or a Eastern European girl or something like that. I just think that targeting one of those is gonna be way harder because those countries were colonial countries and they may or may not have a superiority complex versus countries that have no colonial history in Asia. Being very specific. Yeah, I mean, I think that ultimately, like when you meet women who are a lot more open or maybe they come from some type of ethnic background themselves, like they speak another language or their parents are immigrants as well. I think that oftentimes worked. That's from my experience. That's what I found. So I think that there are so many little maneuvers you can make be reactive, be proactive as much as you take this all in because again, guys, chances are, as many great portrayals of Asian guys that we're gonna see in the future, we'll probably still see some that we don't like, you know? So just don't rely on the media, I guess. Dude, when it comes to this, guys, you are your own first responder. Incidentally, Andrew, the same advice that comes for getting attacked on the street is the same advice I would have for like how you should approach the media, not being anti-Asian male. Long story short, man, my final takeaway is, by the way, I gotta give a shout out to Buzzfeed for making this video. I think it sparked a lot of good conversation in the comments section, but at the end of the day, two things, Andrew. One, I think the advice is different for everybody at different level of look even. This is like a harsh reality of it. Like for example, Eugene happens to be like naturally a good looking guy. Probably you would say low, middle, high. He got born naturally in the high. Jeff, maybe naturally, no disrespect to him. Very, very smart guy. Got born in the low visually. And for me, I would say I'm very much in the middle. I would be best off giving advice to somebody in the middle. You know what I mean? It just matches up because those are like your cards. That's like centers giving advice to other centers and forwards giving advice to other forwards and point guards giving advice to other point guards. It's logical. Yeah, that's a good point, guys. I know that there's a lot of like really good looking like Chad bros that are Asian that are trying to give out advice to regular looking beings. I'm just telling you, man, it's not always gonna work. Like you have to get advice from people who are just at the same level because they've hacked it. They've hacked the game. We have a friend who's really tall, buff and good looking. He's like, yeah, in the club, I just go up to a groin and say, yeah, just think you're really hot. What do you think about me? A lot of those guys are just gonna tell you, be confident, bro. Be you, king. Just be confident, man. You just gotta walk up in there like you got 10 inch balls or I mean a 10 inch shaft, whatever it is. Like, but it's not always the same, guys. Different people with different attributes gotta play the game differently. All right, everybody, we're gonna wrap it up right there. Let us know in the comments down below what you think about this. First of all, I think it's getting better. I think Asian guys are being more recognized now, being more appreciated. But, but, but if you don't feel like you're getting any benefit from this movement, then think of creative ways to change your environment or change the market that you're appealing to. Because I don't look like G-Mean. I don't look like June Cook. Hey, it's 2022, you can always move. Just saying, that's a really good option. I've seen a lot of guys do it. I'm telling you, I'm gonna preach this as a solution in multiple videos. You're gonna see it until some of you guys actually do it. All right, everybody, thank you so much. You know, hopefully you found this helpful. You know, obviously this can be a very emotional and hard-hitting, visceral kind of topic for a lot of people. We've had this conversation a lot, so that's why we're having fun with it. But I hope you guys appreciate that conversation. Hopefully it was helpful. And until next time, we are the hot-pop boys. We out, peace.