 Now, I know we live in an era where, unfortunately, people are more divided than ever, and the most interesting divide is the most primal, binary, men versus women. And there's this whole debate now on masculinity and men being toxic. Well, in this video, I want to share some two cents about if masculinity, if being a man, is really toxic these days. Hey guys, Alex Hein, author of the self-help and self-growth book, Master of the Day. Now I've included a link down there below for anyone trying to have the best year of their life. There's a free goal-setting worksheet you can use to do exactly that. You'll also get an email every couple days to help you plan out and reach your wildest goals. Just check it out down there, the link below. So where are all the real men? So I was at this event in LA last fall, and I was going to this workshop. It was one of those workshops helping men connect to their emotions or femininity, something like that. And I was kind of interested, but I showed up late and so I couldn't get in. So I was just watching on the outside, it's like in a field. And I'm standing there, I'm a tall guy wearing a leather jacket, and this girl walks up to me, this woman, and she says, you know what the funny thing is about this? That these workshops and these movements are helping men try to be more feminine or more emotional, but I can't even find a real masculine man anymore. They're all a bunch of pussies. Now those are her words, not mine, but I thought that brought up a really, really interesting discussion for this video. So think back to the old virtue of the knights, right? Think about the old masculine traditions. First of all, there's a reason why in every culture in the world, rites of passage, especially specifically for men, were designed to train certain traits. Now things like toughness and strength were inherent among all Indigenous people. They are tough. There was a famous series of letters that went between Benjamin Franklin, I believe, and some Indigenous people, some Native Americans in the US. And he said, send your boys to us and we'll make them civilized. And one of the Native chiefs sent a letter back or a telegram and said, send your boys to us and we'll make them men. Now these Indigenous cultures, men and women, were tough as nails because that old school life is not easy and everyone needed to be tough to endure and to live. When it comes to these traditional traits, take a look at this list. Bravery and courage, honor, decisiveness, directness, leadership and virtue. To me, masculinity is a series of what I think more than ever are rare and valuable traits. They're traits that are rare and valuable for both genders, but especially today for young men who are maybe lacking those real strong male role models. I think these are incredibly important traits that we need to be cultivating 10 times more than ever before. But what does masculinity have to do with actual toxicity? So I think when we talk about toxic masculinity, what we're talking about is an unintegrated person, a person who has all traits pushed to one side of the spectrum and not the other. So the most pathological masculine is aggressive, is dominant, is not sensitive, it doesn't listen, it is completely unaware of what other people want, it is all forward, no retreat, all the ability of letting go, relaxing, surrendering, being sensitive, being observing, listening, being a leader who leads by being on the battlefield first or by eating last, all these other traits that can come with that are lacking in the unintegrated masculine. And in the same vein, what is the unintegrated feminine? Too passive, indecisive, doesn't do anything completely flaccid, we could say, crumbles under pressure, crumbles under stress, has no backbone, has no strength. Those are the dichotomy of unintegrated humans, whereas an integrated male or an integrated female should embody aspects of both. So in my mind, we have the extreme of masculine, which is all forward, and the extreme of feminine, which is all go with the flow. These two things can and should be combined in the ideal self aware person. And I think we all need to embody both of these traits, because it's undeniable, you cannot push and fight to solve every problem in life, doesn't work. And you also can't be just about social cohesion and passive and doing whatever the people want. And whatever these cliches are of passivity, both are essential to be a cultivated person. And those traits of courage, of discipline, of honor, of bravery, all humans should have those. So in my mind, all of these traits are embodied on some level in a whole human being, who has both the ability to be a leader, a charismatic, strong leader, but also one is perceptive and sensitive and wise. And I think that's why these wise kings or the sage physicians were so admired throughout history, because that is a unique pairing of traits. Whereas you can easily find the warrior archetype and the sage archetype, but rarely do you find those together in human beings. And so for each of us, my brand is called Modern Health Monk, my best attempt to fuse the growth, the masculine that dominates the aggression towards improving one's life with the wisdom. And I think if you can do that, you can become a very rare human being and build a really exceptional life. So my two cents, masculinity, what is masculine, what is toxicity. Before you go, check out the link below for a free journaling and goal setting worksheet to help you have the best year ever of your life. You'll also get a free worksheet and an email every couple of days that help you plot out exactly how to reach your wildest goals. Check it out down there below. And then before you go, check out this related video over here.