 we're going to rewind a little bit when she didn't have a lot and you know her husband as a bed was struggling and they had this horse at that time in her life she did a lot she was the she would go out early and get water for the horse feed the horse bring it fodder she would walk it she would go and get um date seeds and they would they would at that time crush it and it was a very labor intensive life and um at one point she had to walk about two miles to do this process of crushing these date stones and then they would carry these massive things on their head so I again try to visualize this she's walking two miles exhausted she's been laboring all day just trying to make it survive and who comes and crosses her path none other than the beloved sallallahu alayhi wasallam and this is his sister-in-law so you know sometimes and this is again something that we should just really appreciate that is lost unfortunately today in the nonverbal communication that can sometimes be really powerful not everything always has to be said sometimes the states and the hearts are communicating so the prophet sallallahu alayhi said him sees his sister-in-law in this state without a single word he stops his camel and orders the camel to kneel and then he's he makes a sound or if something to that effect which was an indication to her like come on I got you sit sit on the camel I'm gonna take you the rest of the way he had this compassion for his sister-in-law seeing her in this state but subhanAllah and I want you to see what she does this is again emotional intelligence of a wife and a woman who is using her intellect to assess the situation there's all these men here the prophet systems here I could really use a ride right but my husband is jealous without words without any words what does she do she just stands there and the prophet sallallahu alayhi sallam again he knows the hearts no communication they just understood each other he understood that her shyness meant she wasn't going to get on and he just proceeded forward and she went home rushed home to tell her husband about this whole incident what happened because she wanted to be transparent we and we have to again apply this in the modern context a lot of things are happening in spaces private and marriages and lives all over the place and everybody's all about privacy now give me a break you're married transparency you should have you know access to to one another's you know whatever is is a public right but this idea that no I can do my own thing and I don't have to share so just let's learn from her she wanted to again show her husband that I honored you in your absence so she tells him what happened and his response is also really beautiful because it just gives us insight that they actually cared about one another and it wasn't this whole you know power game all the time like I want this and I want that they weren't about that they were about the hearts so he told her he said by Allah you're carrying the date stones and you being seen by the process that I'm on with that you know with that on your head in such a state is more shameful to me than you having taken a ride with him so he's letting her know like I'm pained that you were in this that I've put you in this situation I don't care about that but they were so considerate of one another's feelings so we have to think about that in the context of you know who are we are we you know again not sharing certain things with our spouses or are we taking these positions that are not really thoughtful about one another's feelings and this applies to the brothers too I hope they're watching this it's or will watch it at some point but you know if your wife asks you not to socialize with certain people it's respect that you honor that request and vice versa and I think we just have to you know take take that you know Nessia from this but she prioritized her husband's feelings in that incident