 Welcome to Dare to Dream. This is Debbie Daschinger, and I'm psyched to be here. I'm psyched to be, frankly. And I just came in from Indianapolis. What an interesting place to be, I have to say, I've never been there. But I just had the good grace of going to Dr. Sue Mortar's workshop. I've followed her for many, many years, but I've more recently in the last year been able to delve into her work. And I got to say, this was beyond as far as energy work, beyond. This woman is amazing. She's coming back on the show in September, and I can't wait to have conversation with her now from the perspective of having personally experienced her work. So stay tuned, because I really believe we bring you the best guests, and today is absolutely no exception. I've got J.J. Flizanes, who's standing by, and she's got her beautiful hands and some very interesting pieces that were all metaphysically and law of attraction-wise interested in. So we'll be getting into that conversation very soon. Again, this show has been nominated for two people choice podcast awards, and that was an intention that I set earlier this year, just about awards in general. So this was really lovely to come about. If you would like to register so that you can receive this show, just subscribe. It's so easy. It comes right to you. You can go to Apple and Google Podcasts. You can go to Spreaker and Stitcher, YouTube, obviously, and thank you for all your great comments there. BBS Radio, Radio Public, iHeartRadio, Player FM. We're in Spain, too, on iVox. So as soon as you sign up, it comes right to you, and please leave us a five star review. This show is gratefully sponsored by Dr. Dane Here and Access Consciousness. If you want to know more about the work they do, and I highly recommend you do, go to drdanehereheer.com, as well as accessconsciousness.com. They do amazing workshops all around the world, and they've got books in every language, highly, highly recommended. So what if you could find spirit, purpose, and energy in your life? Well, my guest today is JJ Flizanes. She's an empowerment strategist, and she herself is the host of several podcast shows, including, but not exclusive to, Fit to Love and Spirit, Purpose and Energy. JJ is the director of Invisible Fitness, and she's also an Amazon bestselling author of Fit to Love, how to get physically, emotionally, and spiritually fit to attract the love of your life. And she's also the author of NAC Absolute Abs, Routines for a Fit and Firm Core. Wow. She was named personal best trainer in LA in 2007 by Elite Traveler Magazine, and as well she's been featured in many national magazines like Shape, Fitness, Elegant Bride, and Women's Health. She's appeared on NBS, CBS, Fox 11, The CW, and KTLA. And her newest book is The Invisible Fitness Formula, Five Secrets to Release Weight and End Body Shame. We'll be talking a little bit about weight today. It debuted at number two on the Amazon bestseller list for Women's Health, and she is so gracious. She's offering everybody a free copy of the book. I've already downloaded mine, and you can go to JJFlizanes.com. JJ, I would say welcome to Dear to Dream, but I have to say welcome back to Dear to Dream. Do you get to say that all the time, or just very few chances? Because I feel special if you get to say welcome back. You are special. I don't say that often. I don't have a lot of return guests, but the ones I do, there's a reason. Like there's a message and a continuation of the conversation. So I love that you and I are both here on the other side of 10 or 12 years ago when you were last on the show. I know it's been a journey, and it's listening to the bio when you and I were talking 12, maybe even 15. I don't know how long you've been doing your show, but it was pretty probably in the beginning of you starting your show. I know that that was my main focus, and so to think back to that time and all that's evolved and expanded since then, I'm super grateful to be here and to be sharing that evolution and expansion with others, and I appreciate you inviting me back. Yeah, I remember back then when I researched you this decade plus ago, that I was watching videos of you on the beach doing fitness, right? So that's my memory of you and you've really transformed so much. I am curious because I know that you started out as an actress, I believe in musical theater. Is that correct? Yep, true memory. Okay, how did you shift from that beginning into fitness? What was the journey that got you from there to there and now to here? Well, like every girl who's 10, 12, 14 years old, when's the first time you started a diet? Your body becomes a focal point very quickly and very early on, especially in adolescence. And I had been a dancer, I was in musical theater, and when I was in college, I was planning for graduating and being out of college and thinking about sort of the trajectory of actors or entertainment people. And of course the first thing that everybody assumes you're going to do is to wait tables, which I had really no problem with, but I had no interest in and I did it. I worked at every part of a restaurant from manager to host to bartender to planner to server. So I've done all of it except cook, although I could do that too. But I really just didn't like the idea that this is the path that was chosen for me because that's what everybody does. It offers flexibility. You're not in a career. You can go audition. Like that didn't sit well. And I was working retail at the time back in college and my manager who also hated retail, but she was manager, had said to me, hey, let's go get a job at the gym because we can get free memberships. And at the time I was dancing five, six, seven days a week in school. So I had really strong muscular legs by the skinny, scrawny upper body. And my boyfriend at the time was a gymnast and he very lovingly pointed out that I was sort of out of balance. Like my body was out of balance because I had no musculature above the waist. It was all below the waist and it was good musculature below the waist. So I thought, yeah, I can go build up my upper body. Let's go get a job at the gym. So when I went to the gym, I very quickly activated many parts of my left brain and that was exciting because the musical theater kid in Maine knew I had talent, knew that I was adaptable, knew that I was expressive. But I never thought I was super smart. I thought that I was kind of smart, but not super smart. I wasn't the kid that got straight A's in everything or excelled at math and science. And then when I got into personal training, I excelled in science because it was a different kind of science. So that really opened me up to the whole personal training thing. I would just be interested in what they were doing. It did represent a bit of health even though back then I could identify unhealthy behaviors. Like the trainers that come in with the extra triple venti coffees several times a day. Like I knew back then that can't be healthy for you and sort of the over attachment to what you look like. To me, it was more about the health and the care of your body than it was about necessary. Did I want to look good? Of course. But I did even recognize back then that there was an unhealthy relationship to what someone looked like and what now I understand is their self worth. And then so you make this choice. It's very interesting. A boyfriend points this out. You get involved. You start seeing results and you go a different direction, which I think is very smart. It was the universe at work there. So there you are involved in fitness. And this is when I first met you and we had our first conversation and you've evolved so enormously. What were the pieces that came into play that caused you to shift tracks or add pieces to what you're doing and being? Well, when we turned on the left brain awareness that I was smart and that I could learn science, I sort of had this like this unsatiable desire to keep learning. And so when you work with a client, what I didn't know back then about myself is that I'm also a very good problem solver. And so now that I have these new tools, someone would come to me with a problem and I would use the only tools I had. And at the beginning of my personal training career, they were anatomy. They were physiology. They were a little bit of biochemistry. That's what I knew. And so that's what I went with. But then when you have people who aren't getting results by these methods, you have to ask, well, what else contributes to the situation? So that, of course, led me to many other studies. We got deeper into the body stuff, so endocrine system, so the hormones, so neurotransmitters. And then from there just it kind of kept branching out and it got deeper into the mental behavioral side, which I kind of as an actress, that's part of what you do. I think if you're a good actor, not that I'm saying good actors are good therapists or are good with self-awareness because they're not. But generally, if you're learning how to put on someone else's point of view, then there's hopefully some skill sets in being able to, you know, put yourself in someone else's shoes and then really look at it from a more psychological standpoint. While you're not a psychotherapist, you should have those skills if you are in the performing arts and do plays. So I had a little bit of behavioral science under my belt just from that already, the curiosity. But then I just deepened that, expanded that. And then, of course, the spirituality piece. I'm a seeker of sorts and I want questions to be answered. And so I continue to learn until my questions are answered. So much so that well, I know you love to have really unique and interesting people on the show and you also too love to learn and you're curious and you're always wanting more information. There are times where my aunt, my questions have been answered. And I'm like, no, I'm not interested in any more answers to this question like Enneagram. Many people have tried to get me to do Enneagram and I'm like, astrology does what Enneagram does for you, for me. And every time I hear someone talk about it and I know their signs, I'm like, well, that's because you're a Gemini. Well, that's because you're a Taurus. Like that astrology can tell me exactly what that told you. And so I have just been studying astrology for over 20 years and I use that. It's funny because as I've evolved, I was quiet about it. I didn't tell people that I use astrology. I wouldn't ask them their sign or maybe do their chart. And I'd consider it, but I wouldn't talk about it with them. And through this evolution, evolution process and expansion, I've become comfortable stepping into owning and claiming that this is a tool that I use. And here's why and here's how it affects you. And here's I'm going to treat you differently. Here's I'm going to program your, the coaching that I'm doing with you to you specifically because of how you interpret information because of how you vibrate because of how what's important to you. And I'm going to speak your language when I know what that is because it will be more effective than me giving you some plan I made for someone else with the opposite sun and moon who for them it fit them, but it's not going to fit you. So such as me really getting more tools. I'm like, okay, what tool do I need for this or how is this more useful and still today when I have a new tool, I'm like, okay, I want that tool that can help something. You know, there's a gap over here and here's another option over here. And so it's fun. I have a pretty big toolbox. That's good. Hey, it's everything today. I love that you can play like that in so many sandboxes. And it's interesting. I know you do something around acceptance of one's body and releasing body shame, which I love and your new book around releasing weight. So what are myths that we are living with because you were talking about nothing's a one stop shop even astrologically you're not going to give somebody the same thing as you give someone else. I assume the same is true with shedding weight or exercise. And I feel like we live in really confusing times do this. This is the only way. No, do this. This is the only way. So you as an expert JJ, what are a couple of myths you can break down and shed some light on to show us it ain't necessarily true. Well, that one size doesn't fit all and your fitness and self care routine, including your nutrition really should be personalized. Because you make decisions from several different points of view when you choose to exercise or when you choose to eat and how you do that if it's celebratory if it's linear. Some people don't care about food. They they're very strategic eat the same thing every day. So we can't just tell everybody to be on the same food plan and same thing for exercise. That's that is probably the biggest myth is that everyone thinks well if it worked once it should work again. Well, your body changes and there are several scientific factors involved with choosing a plan and one year from now two years from now 10 years from now. Your choices are going to be different because your body is going to be different. And people just think that well if I lost weight walking and cutting back carbs three years ago, well, why isn't that working now? I'm doing the same exact thing. Why isn't that working? So there's this idea I would say the myth is really that you that that fitness is easy to understand or fitness is something that everyone should just know, right? Doctors say just exercise. You want to lose weight just move more and eat less. It's not that simple. There are several factors. It's quite complicated, which is why the book is the five secrets to release weight because each one of them holds many different components in each one of those secrets. But the first three of them are physical and the third one's pretty medical, right? But if we're not looking at that, if we're not considering that as a factor, then you're just going to spin your wheels very frustrated for a long time. So on top of what is a myth also in that is calorie counting. I can't tell you how many people still are like read my mother's looking at labels only has this many calories. I'm like, oh my God, we are not like we have not moved or recently I've been with some friends and I'm actually probably going to brand a program. My book does this but it's not it doesn't say that it does this because I didn't want to exclude anybody but menopause. It's always amazing to me how many people do not understand menopause. So all of a sudden anyone who's newly moving into menopause freaks out about why their programs no longer working or why they get all this weight or why can't I sleep or why am I having hot flashes. Oh my God, I'm going to menopause. How come how come how I keep thinking I've been talking about this for 25 years. The science is not changed. But what's different is I'm a weirdo and when I was 25 and I understood and I learned about menopause. I said, great. How do I prepare? So when I get there, I won't have any of that going on versus. That's not the normal person, right? You wait till you're in it and then you're in it. It's happening to you even though you know it's coming, but it's happening to you and you're freaking out and you're going. What is this about? And then again, I'm now explaining the same thing over and over again that I've talked about for 20 years. But every year there's a new group of women or men because there's also andropause new group of men who are asking these questions. And so how did you prepare for menopause at 25 years old? What did you start implementing? Well, I started implementing looking at my blood work. I started asking for different tests. I started looking at if, you know, I'd had the position probably before my personal training certifications. At one point I had the position that I would never do hormone replacement therapy. Now that was back when it was only the synthetics that were being talked about, right? So, and I didn't know the difference. And then fast forward into my personal training career and a couple advanced certifications later. I was with some of the smartest, healthiest people, women over 50 who were amazing, you know, looking amazing and healthy. And doing what was at the time, the trial, only physicians could participate in what now is a company called Sanogenics, which is now functional medicine, which is looking at bio-identical hormones. So when she said she was doing a program, it was $10,000 a year. She was part of the test and she was replacing estrogen, progesterone and testosterone. A light bulb went off and I thought, hold on, wait a minute, that makes sense. What didn't make sense was replacing estrogen and progesterone. And what didn't make sense was it was synthetic. Now we're looking at this is bio-identical and you're replacing all of them. Well, of course, you're a chemistry lab. Why would you only replace two? Because you don't think women make testosterone. We need testosterone. Do we need it in the same dosages as a man? Of course not. So for me, what I started to understand about hormones was I need to get tested. And even back then, I asked my gynecologist, I literally said, can you test all my hormones? You know what she tested? Estrogen and progesterone. She didn't test DHEA. She didn't test my cortisol. She didn't test my vitamin D. She didn't test my T3 or my T4. She did standard testing. So maybe TSH was part of it, but I didn't even pay attention at the time. So I thought, interesting. So now after that incident, I've become much more specific. I walk in with my list, but I've also written a book I work in functional medicine. So now I'm quite clear about what it is I'm looking at and how it's changing. So that when I want to supplement, which I have started in different ways, both through holistic medicine and nutrition, as well as at times, like I've got a bioidentical progesterone cream, it's over the counter. It's not that strong, but sometimes it helps depending on the time of the month and what's going on. You know, I'm looking at chemistry and you're just picking and choosing, well, what's going on right now in my body and where am I in my life and what do I need and how do I get that and how do I balance everything out? So at 25, I was looking at hormones and thinking about the future and also muscle. Again, everyone, especially women still to this day. Another myth is that when you do weight training, you will not get big and bulky. It's like, oh my gosh, can we let go of this idea? It's not going to happen unless you know that you have extra testosterone in your body like a man and you are someone who all, and you have that sort of Apple shape body type where, you know, you were athletic as a kid and you got muscle really quick. Now, if that's you, which is not the majority of women who are looking to lose weight or change their metabolism, if that is you, okay, I'll give it to you, but we can work around that. But the average woman who wants to lose weight is afraid of looking like a bodybuilder because they think the men, they pick up a weight that's over 10 pounds. God forbid that it's going to, they're going to look like a big ugly bodybuilder. I'm not saying bodybuilders are ugly, but you know what I mean? Like they're going to look masculine. They're going to look whatever. So that's another myth is this whole, you know, that weights, the weight training makes you look masculine or bulkier. Yeah, I wish. I wish it was that easy, but it isn't. That's amazing. You know, I just took a test or really detailed test that I take through my doctor and I am clear and I am someone who's on bioidenticals and I am clear that something changed. You know, and I'm okay to be transparent, you know, because you're my friend, that I got off of well butron. I think I started the weaning like three months ago. What an experience. Let me tell you, and I feel quite over it today, but the interim, massive exhaustion, confusion, there was a lot of things that came up. And on the other side, I don't know if it was by virtue of being on well butron or other things had shifted, but either or I am clear by being in my body, fully in my body that something's different. So they just did a whole ginormous panel and I will find out in a couple of weeks, but I'm clear we're going to end up changing what I'm on amounts and so forth. And I'm looking forward to it. For me, being on bioidenticals and the appropriate amounts for my body chemistry is like heaven. I mean, it really feels good as opposed to that feeling of being off or exhausted or moody or, you know, not thinking well. There's, you know, obviously a lot of symptoms. So I'm with you. I think we live in good times that we have this available to us. And I can't imagine why people would not take advantage of it. Well, they don't know. And they have, I mean, even my own mother's gynecologist. Yeah. Oh, that's another story. Well, you know, I asked her to take her hormone tests a long time ago. And the doctor literally said, no. And I said, why? You're the patient. And she said, because she said, I know what they're going to be. They're going to be low. I said, I'm going to call BS on that. I go, well, yeah, they're probably low. It's because we want to do something about it. Like, do you want to just decline? You know what? Information gives us power to make choice. And when you don't know what you don't know, I think it's in, I think it's, you know, part of our mission to, that's why we do shows, right? Is to educate people as to what the options are out there. And, you know, I'm pretty, I'm a pretty big proponent of people getting off of their congratulations off of their well, butchering in their antidepressants. Because most of the people that are on antidepressants don't need to be on antidepressants. The reason why they're on antidepressants is because they lack hormones. Number one, number two, most of their diets suck. So their diets are causing the feelings that they're having. And then third, we are looking at, I know, I know your chart quite well, but, you know, you being a cancer, then we have to look at, well, who are you and what are your astrological, energetic predispositions when it comes to emotion. And you as a water sign, as a cancer are very, like can have be very easily overwhelmed with emotion. And if you just know that going in, then it doesn't make you broken. It doesn't make you wrong. It doesn't make you weak. It doesn't make you not able to handle things. It just gives you information. And that's why I use astrology because along with the science of food and chemistry and how it affects your brain, you know, another myth that I'll share that I think is interesting. And I was been talking about it recently. I was interviewed on a show yesterday. I had a client once, a gentleman who was convinced he was an emotional eater. The man had himself in two kinds of group therapy, overeaters, anonymous, a meditation group. He had, you know, I was like the last stop on a train of very many people and support. And he came and he's like, I'm an emotional eater. And I was like, okay. And again, I didn't know what I know now, but I knew enough to change his life, which was, I said, have you had a food sensitivity test? And he hadn't. And I said, go back, go back to Jeannie and tell her you want the food sensitivity test because he was on diet foods. Well, diet foods consist of many foods that our bodies do not digest well. So after two weeks of being off these diet foods, he lost 16 pounds with no problem. That's dramatic. And then he said, I don't think I'm an emotional eater. I don't have any more cravings. I was like, exactly. So the food that we put in our body also creates cravings or not. Okay. Foods that are inflammatory definitely stimulate cravings in the body. Foods that aren't inflammatory do not. So when you take out inflammatory foods and you decrease your own internal inflammation, then you don't have any cravings anymore. So the overeating, if it is emotional, it'll show up. But if you're constantly, you know, he was anyway, so it's a myth that it's about calories. Cause here's a case where he was eating diet food. He was probably having so many diet foods. He was probably eating weight. He was probably eating a lot of like, you know, less calories than he should have been, if you will, and, and not having any results. So how he has 16 pound weight loss. That's dramatic. That's amazing. And I don't know who Gini is. Is this somebody who does medical food sensitivity or is it energetic? On a physical side, I'm still part of a functional medicine clinic. It is a physician and a registered dietician and myself in terms of like the team, you know, they have other people that come in and out too, but it's the triad of we're looking at hormones and all of your vitals. We're looking at cholesterol and blood and everything like that. And then we're looking at the diet. And then we're looking at the exercise piece because most of their patients are people who are in or have gone through menopause or andropause struggling with weight loss, struggling with depression, struggling with, with lethargy and wanting to look better. Well, you have to do the combination of looking at your hormones, checking your food and doing actual effective exercise. You know, the other myth is that everybody, again, especially women during menopause or before or after think, Oh my gosh, I'm going to go exercise. I'm going to run. I'm going to walk. I'm going to do some kind of cardio. And cardio is not going to increase your metabolism. Sorry. It's not going to do it. And even if you have results, it's going to like, you're going to plateau very quickly. And I can't tell you how many people call me frustrated because they're like, I work out five days a week. I'm like, I hear you. You're doing the wrong exercise. So this is awesome. Well, when we come back, I, this is exactly what I want to talk to you about. Cause I know you've got some light to shed around exercise that people don't know yet. I read a great endorsement. In the front of your book that really got me excited. So just briefly folks. This show features very successful leaders who have created major goals. And what would you do if you knew that you couldn't fail? What would it take for you to live and feel completely free and bold? You can be part of the dare to dream podcast team. We do accept donations and they do go to the administration and business portions to keep the show going low. These 12 plus years. Please go to patreon.com slash dare to dream for a dollar or more. You can donate to the show and help us flourish and be sustainable. And I thank you in advance. And if you're tuning in after we've started, this is Debbie dashing or dare to dream. And I'm interviewing JJ. You can get the free copy of her book at JJ. Okay. Two things. First. Holistic picture. Astrologically. I want to say something I thought was fascinating. I found out recently by looking at a chart. Yes. Cancer. Leo. Scorpio. However. The, the hologram, if you will, of my chart, I'm actually almost half and half fire and water. Which is pretty fascinating because one douse is the other. Right. But I actually love being that because there is the very soft emotional tender side, but this is very fierce. Like, you know, being out in the world and loving a career and. Spotlight and all of that stuff. And it, and I think it's important what you teach. That's what I'm getting to. I think it's very important what you teach and use in your toolbox. Because. For me, at least. It has been this enormous acceptance and understanding. Of why I operate. How I do. Why these things come out the way they do. Maybe why sometimes there's that duality or conflict inside of me. Right. And finding out how every piece of me. In the astrological sense can go to a board room. And actually come to a piece of mind and agreement. About something. The soft side and the. The very, your. You know, fire warrior, warrior, yes. Kind of qualities that I have. It also means you want to make sure you stay grounded and add that piece in. So the both that the other two don't. Again, cause fire will make steam, right? And, and, and water will put out fire. So you have, there's the whole like, let's ground it and regulate it. It need, they both need to be grounded in some way sometimes. So it's, so working with your elements definitely can help add into a program. Things that keep you balanced. Things that keep you feeling rejuvenated, regenerated and not being out of balance by the two duality that you're working with. Correct. Thank you. Yeah. Exactly. And it's super helpful navigating things. You had brought up exercise. Okay. So in the beginning of this book that you are so kindly giving away, there is a testimony from our mutual friend, Michael Neely, where he says, working with JJ, I was somebody was working out like I'm paraphrasing by the way, working out like a mad man, but gaining weight, not getting the results I wanted. JJ in fact, sort of took that away from me and in place, you know, I was like, you know, not getting the results I wanted JJ. In fact, sort of took that away from me and in place showed me the correct way to be using my body and then the weight just fell off. So fill in the gap there. What is it? I mean, it's clear what we're missing because people do this. They'll go more and more and more to the gym or to the run or whatever it is they're doing. What is your take on exercise and how can we find our proper groove there? So I'm about efficiency as well as about again, the scientific aspect of all of this. So for me, the efficiency piece would be to look at what are you doing now? What are you committing to now? What is your body composition now? What are your hormones now? And looking at all of that and then designing a program that is livable and it will be changed because again, as our body changes and adapts, so does our need to stimulate the body into the next phase because when we do something, people think I'm just going to go do this class and that's cool and maybe the class is good for you overall. Maybe it's not. Maybe you might hurt your joints. I'm a stickler. I have a live coaching segment on my show every couple of weeks and the one that comes out tomorrow is about someone who had an exercise plateau and the one I had at the beginning of the month was about a woman dealing with emotional eating and we talked about exercise and I said something about, you know, it's hard for me as a trainer to recommend other trainers. I know it sounds bad. I'm sorry. I can't help it. If you knew what I knew, you just, you understand that I can't recommend that everyone should have a personal trainer because I don't like most of the, most of them don't have and nearly as much education as they should have anyway because there's no incentive for them to get it. And unfortunately, my journey started out with really learning science and wanting to protect my body first and foremost, be efficient with what I'm doing and have low risk, but high reward type exercises. Yes. But still stay, but still stay within, you know, doing resistance training. Of course. But everyone's going after the latest greatest fad, which is like CrossFit or whatever, Yoga Lotties and then or, and they'll think, well, why am I not getting results or why did I get injured? Well, because you didn't understand all the components. So I said to the woman on the live coaching call, I said, I can't really can't recommend a trainer because unfortunately I don't know what they know. And unless I know someone personally, she goes, I've actually gotten injured twice. And I said, I'm so sorry by two different trainers, which is why I've moved to this virtual method. And I now can still work with people as a trainer to help build a program for them. Cause I can't recommend anybody. I don't know what they know. So, so to me, so what, what people are doing wrong again, it's the classic I'm doing too much cardio, not doing enough resistance training. And then when I get to the resistance training, you don't have the knowledge or education about how to build a program to fit you where you are. There's a physiology to building muscle. It's not just pick up a weight. There's a difference response in the body when you do five reps, let's say, and I hate using the word rep because it's not about the rep. It's about the time under tension. And again, there's layers and layers of science here that I'm not going to bore everybody with, but just know that there are ways to reach your failure point that's safe for your joint, effective for your muscle, won't provide an injury, builds bone, builds metabolism, increases your calorie burning every day. But the majority of people aren't going to do that on their own. Don't know how to do that. And so then you're left with just going to the gym with all this equipment going, I don't know what to do. I'll just join a class. Okay. I'm going to do the class, but I don't know if it's actually doing anything for me. I feel better. I sleep better. I'm more relaxed. Yay. Maybe I'm more flexible, but is it actually getting you the results that you want? Is it increasing your metabolism? Probably not. Is it potentially hurting your joints? Possibly. You know, so there's all of those. And then when people get injured, they get discouraged and then they stop and they go, well, I can't exercise like I'm injured. Well, you're injured because you chose exercises that don't fit your body, your form, your body and everyone else's body is different. The form needs to be directed towards your personal body, not someone else's yoga pose, not somebody else's, you know, what they're doing. And so, you know, again, there's a ton of science and we oversimplify it down to just move more. And that doesn't serve anybody. And at least people frustrated. And then they think exercise doesn't work. So somebody like me, are you saying that some, for instance, someone like me was a curvy body, right? Busty waist, hips, the whole deal that, that there would be a specific idea to exercise my body that would facilitate it the best. So I'm not talking about the difference between yoga versus Pilates versus kickboxing. I'm talking about getting to the place where what is it, what are your goals? Okay. Because not everyone's goals are the same. If you tell me, I would like, let me tell you my goals. Cause I think this is everyone's goals. My goals are to keep my metabolism, my metabolism as high as it can be. And how you do that is by building muscle. So when you have more muscle, then you do fat or just you have, you're building more active tissue. Active tissue requires calories and energy. Then you get to eat more, drink more and not gain weight. Okay. Cause as you age and lose hormones, you lose muscle. As you lose muscle, it lowers your metabolism. So even on a diet, you will probably still gain weight because your body is slowed down in the metabolism department. But the only besides, even when you build hormones, which is why in the functional medicine clinic that I work, and I get a lot of my clients through this program because they've already invested in the hormones. And now they know that, well, I can take the hormones, but if I'm not doing some kind of exercise to stimulate muscle growth, then what am I wasting all the hormones for? Trying to build my metabolism. Yes. You're going to build bone. They're going to avoid all kinds of cancers and, and pelvis fractures and possibly mortality from all those things. So there's benefit if you're not going to exercise, but why not take advantage of all having a full panel of hormones and do exercise and build muscle so that you can stay optimal, stay protected, stay strong, build bone, all that good stuff. I know you eat really well. I know you're also a great cook. And tell me what are the choices you've made around food, dairy-free, gluten-free, paleo, keto, et cetera, anything in there? Yeah. I've done all of it and I do a lot of it. So gluten was the first one back when I got married. I wanted to do a detox and actually it was sort of like the fate, right? Like my detox was a heavy metal detox, but it didn't come in time. In fact, it got stolen. I think I lived in Long Beach at the time. And I called and they were like, well, we can ship you out another one, but it, it won't be there until whatever it was like a month before the wedding. And I thought, I'm not going to do a detox a month before my wedding. What if I break out? What if I look all crazy, right? So I thought, well, what am I going to do? And that was in 2008. So the gluten-free thing was kind of new. I mean it was out there, but it wasn't so popular. And the gluten-free food really sucked back then, like big time. The gluten-free food did suck. There was one choice of bread at Trader Joe's. It was the brown rice bread, which was like a brick. Even a slice of it was like a brick. Now it tasted fine. It just was super heavy and unnecessarily heavy. Like you weren't making the sandwich out of that. Not that I'm not a proponent of sandwiches. Too many carbs. You don't need a sandwich. But anyway, so I went gluten-free just really out of like I'm going to try it. And within the first 10 days, I lost six pounds. But I lost six pounds of water. It wasn't because I was eating butter and cheese and meats and I had gluten-free pizza, gluten-free brownies, gluten-free cookies. Like I am the person to go to and I've got a show on it and I've got a program on how to properly do an elimination diet. Because the reason why people fail when they change their food is because they haven't prepared themselves. They think they have, they go into this restriction place like, oh, I have to feel restricted. I do not feel restricted at all. If I want something, I make it in the way that serves my body and I can still have it. Like there's literally almost nothing you can't replace either gluten-free or dairy-free. And sometimes even keto and paleo that isn't, I mean, there's keto bread. There's paleo bread, right? Does it taste like regular? No, but it's the idea of what do you care more about? The five seconds that you get to taste this or what it does to your health and your body. So yes, I've done gluten-free since 2008. I am not completely dairy-free. I will have it once or twice a month, only because that one's a little harder to do. Gluten-free is not hard at all. I'll eat gluten like a couple of times a year. The first time I did, the second time I did this year was at the Greek Fest recently, which you were invited to, but you were out of town. I'll be having it again at my Greek family reunion in a couple of weeks and then I probably won't have any again, because there's, again, nothing I can't replace. So that's an easy lifestyle for me. Now, I've moved into a little lower carb, so more paleo. Paleo is kind of where I kind of live a little bit more. Keto I did for a little while. It's a little harder, but it is actually not hard either. It's hard if you're dairy-free in keto, but if you eat cheese, then keto's not hard because you can always go out and get cheese things. So again, but it's personal. It's literally asking the person what they're willing to do because some people aren't willing to do that. Their health, while they may say it's important, is not that important for them to be inconvenienced. They don't cook. They don't like to cook. They don't like dealing with food. That's a whole separate issue, but let's say what I would recommend for people is really about what their needs are. And if you aren't sensitive to it, the reason why, I mean, while I lost a bunch of weight doing gluten-free, why I still don't eat it, and I have no allergies, by the way, I have zero allergies, is because when you eat things, your body does not digest well. Even if you don't have a reaction now, it wears down your intestinal lining over time. And when you have gaps, it causes leaky gut. So a lot of people all of a sudden have autoimmune disorders in their 60s because of poor diet the entire time and chemicals and other things that end stresses, right? But I choose not to eat it because I don't want to create those micro tears in my digestive tract. And to me, it's not worth it. I can have something gluten-free that tastes just as good. I'm not interested. So again, it's really about choice and I program people to do what makes sense for them and identify whatever their body is saying no to, which causes all the issues. But we have to find that and for each person it's different. Interesting. You know, I was just traveling in Indiana and while I was away, I mean, I'm a coffee person. I love my morning coffee. And I don't, you know, the plethora of what's available to us to put in coffee is not great outside of heavy cream, which I love, but I try not to do often at all. And I went to a store. I was actually in Marshall's because I had to buy a yoga mat while I was there. I was picking up this yoga mat and I was passing by their little food aisle and this thing said Keto Creamer. And I looked at the back, I looked at the ingredients and it was predominantly MCT oil and the other things in it were all natural too. You know, good fats for us. And I bought it thinking, oh, this is going to taste like, you know, this is going to be so bad, but I'm going to try it anyway. And I got to say, I'm a fan. Like I'm in it to win it. They sell it. Now I found the same brand on Amazon and obviously a lot of other sources. It's terrific. So now I'm home and I make my coffee and I stick it in the blender and I put some of this a little bit of cinnamon and voila. You know, it's pretty delicious coffee to get you going with really good fats. I don't get hungry easily till like noon. That's good. And one thing to say while I'm dairy free, if you had to pick some dairy, butter would be my first choice and heavy cream would be my second because you want the problem with milk and the problem with dairy is that the protein in the milk products, it's just too big for us to digest, especially when it's cow's milk, although most of us don't do well with goat or sheep either. Sheep would be the best. But cow milk, again, that protein, it's made for a cow. It's made for a calf. It's a different system. It's not made for us. It's the breast milk of a cow. But if you're going to have it, go to the ones that have high fat in no way. And no, although heavy cream has way. That's the other reason why butter is better because butter has no way and it's all fat. So there's no protein, it's all fat. So I'm giving you the blessing on the heavy cream would be better than half and half, would be better than whole milk, would be better than, okay, better than yogurt, better than kefir, in terms of digestion. Yeah, yum. And what a great way to go. It's pretty delicious. If you're just tuning in, this is J.J. Flizanes, my amazing guest. She's an empowerment strategist. She's the host of Fit to Love podcast show and director of Invisible Fitness and a best-selling author. You can get her free book at jjflizanes.com slash book. I want to talk about law of attraction. All right, bring it on. Yeah. So first, self-care. How does what we do around or not do around self-care influence our manifestation ability? Mmm, juicy topic. So my book, the first one, best seller, if you will, Fit to Love, how to get physically, emotionally and spiritually fit to attract the love of your life. I'll give you the cliff notes. Love of your life is you. And the book was based around my experience of people in the gym, and I kind of indicated this in the beginning, of understanding that there are two different energies that one can come at self-care with. And the majority of people going to the gym and the majority of trainers have this, like, anxiety-filled, I need someone's approval. I'm not worthy if I don't look good. I have control issues. Like, so a lot of times, like, that's why, and I just, like, recently discovered that in my mind, I'm like, why is it, because I have this thing with the fitness industry. I'm like, ugh. Like, it's like, I don't want to be a part of the fitness industry. Why? Because it's a bunch of frickin' control freaks. That's why. And it's not allowing. Now, not everybody, but that's the difference. That's why I wrote Fit to Love, because I can feel when I'm surrounded by people who are working out, because they hate themselves, and they don't feel worthy, and they feel ugly, and they feel like no one's gonna love them. That is a very sad energy to anchor into your body when you're trying to do something good for yourself. Now, the other flip side, which is kind of where I've always come from, because, like, and I'm weird, at 25, when I'm, like, looking at hormones and joints and biomechanics, and I'm caring more about that than weight loss and trying to educate people on that. Nobody wants to hear that. They just want to know, how do I lose weight? And if I'm injured, how do I fix it? But mostly, how do I lose weight? And that's fine, but the conversation to me, that's very surface, and it's also another addiction, and it's a lack of self-worth. So your self-care, depending on how it's guided, see, I, when I work out, while I'm still like everybody else, and sometimes I may not make it a priority. Well, that's not really true. It goes into my schedule. I have a partner. I've hired trainers for myself in the past just to keep me accountable. So it is important to me, because, again, I have been bought into the results. Again, 25, looking at 50, saying, how do I not go through menopause the same way everybody else does? Well, you keep your metabolism high, which means you keep building muscle forever. You keep doing it. You don't do just the cardio. You don't get lazy on not building muscle. You keep your metabolism high the whole time, because when people start resistance training programs, they think it's overnight. Why have I lost 10 pounds already? I'm working really hard. I'm like, well, the body has to adapt. Question then. So how does yoga factor in? Is that something that the body loves and can thrive on, or is it not a contributor to that building muscle weight loss keeping a high rev going? It depends on the kind of yoga. Hatha yoga, again, and it depends on where you start. If you start in a I'm completely sedentary and you're going to hatha yoga, you're going to see some change. If you continue going, your body will adapt and then the change will stop. You won't have any more change. If we're looking at someone like me right now, because of my own, like what's been going on in my life, I can probably go to yoga, not Hatha though, go to some kind of different kind of yoga that would provide me different exercises, which would stimulate different parts of muscles that would give me a little bit of a boost and build a little bit of muscle. But after that, you adapt. So yoga generally is not, it would not be something I would recommend people focus on unless, so here's who's a flip side. Why people think yoga is magic, it's because people aren't on their phones and they're actually breathing and then their body is in taking a beat and being and holding a pose, forcing themselves to like be in the moment. So all of a sudden stress changes and when the stress changes, your cortisol level changes, your adrenal hormones change, your body can release fat. There are other factors which allow people to have still some results from yoga, but it isn't going to be building muscle, it isn't going to be increasing your metabolism, but it could be releasing stress, which then would regulate your hormones, which would help with metabolism and releasing some weight. So while I'm not against yoga, I think again, this is with a personalization, right? Like somebody, there's been oftentimes where I've had someone really super fit who does 90 minutes three times a week of hatha yoga and I'm like, what a waste of time, because she wants to get more results. I'm like, you ain't going to get it in hatha yoga for 90 minutes because she was super fit. It was the wrong thing for her. Would I say take it all out? No, keep one in or keep two in and change what you do on the other days. So again, there's all these parts and pieces like baking a cake or creating a recipe and each person is going to be different in terms of what I would recommend. I'm not against anything, even CrossFit. CrossFit, most people get injured. Why? Because they're doing too much too fast, their joints aren't ready, their muscles aren't prepared, they're not connected, there's zero control, it's mostly momentum, but I have no problem with high intensity interval training. If it's done in a smart way, do it smart, prepare your body, build the muscle, get your joints ready, get your brain connected to your muscle. Most people don't have any of that and then they go do some crazy intensive thing and wonder why they're injured. So let's bring this back to you for a second because I just got your newsletter and I know that you went through something recently. It was a difficult time for you. You're on the other end. I know based on your newsletter, it's like may not be optimal, but you're here kind of thing. I'm so curious about your use of law of attraction through this, to get you through this. How did you assuage all of it and where are you at with it now? I realize I didn't really answer your question because there's so much on that path to get to that answer, which was basically, let me answer the first question, which is how do you use law of attraction and how does your self care allow you to receive more? Because if you're constantly activating love and respect of self, then you have a self worth that is greater than and more in love with who you are, which puts you in receiving mode. If you're the person who doesn't like themselves but are going to the gym to beat yourself up because you don't think you're worthy, then you keep activating the lack of and a disconnection from you, which doesn't put you in receiving mode. So you will not benefit from law of attraction when you're in fear and self hatred, versus when you're in love, acceptance and support. So how I use law of attraction, so I'm sorry, somebody go to the second question was again. So I use law of attraction like right now in my life. Yeah, well, I know that you went through, it was a bit of an emotional time for you. Something happened outside of your control and I'll leave it up to you if you want to tell it or not, but I'm most interested in how, in a difficult time, how do you pull up the principles of law of attraction to get you through something difficult through a transition? Okay. So there's one key phrase in law of attraction that got me the first time I heard it and it's never let go and it is the most important phrase as far as I'm concerned. And it is that you are the creator of your own reality. That's it. You are the creator of your own reality. So while I have been going through a difficult time, I am the creator of my own reality. So does that mean that it's something wrong? Nope. What I want requires me to grow. What I want requires change. What I want requires I let go of things that don't serve me, which most people are going to fight against. And so we need contrast. You know, we all know about the hero's journey. Part of one of the stages on the hero's journey is you have to go through this contrast. You have to have this aha awakening come to Jesus moment. You can't get there if you don't have stimulus to push you there. Most of us don't seek out like in depth conversations with ourselves or source energy when everything is going really well because everything is going really well. We only get there when we're pushed up against the wall in crisis and all of a sudden our whole world is turned upside down and now our perspective could change. So how I deal with it is to remind myself that I did attract this. No, did I want any part of it? I didn't. But there's something in it for me. There is a reason that it's here. The whole, you know, another one of the tools is law of attraction and the spiritual piece, which says that if I'm the creator of my own reality, then nothing here is random. I also believe that we all, like you were talking about, we all incarnate and we're living an experience. This isn't my only experience and it won't be my last. So there's a reason I chose it all. So true empowerment to me is that you take responsibility for everything in your life. Every reaction, every action, every feeling, because then it gives you something to do about it or something to learn from it. If I just believe things just happen and boy, what a mistake and I'm a victim of that, then boy does that feel really disempowering for the rest of my life. I can't do anything about that if someone else did it to me. But if I'm in alignment with it and I attracted it, there's a reason. It's either gonna show me something I need to get over and learn and heal or it's going to clarify a new path. And so both are desired to move your life forward. So true and in the clarification, I think the element that a lot of people forget is it could be way better than it is now. If you let go and go down that path. It's interesting, my mantra recently has been this is my movie. Whatever comes up, if I have any resistance or judgment about something, it's like, that's fine. This is your movie. What do you choose? Because you could rewrite the script. And that for me is so powerful. Also, as far as thoughts go, if something comes up and I'm thinking, oh, that might happen. We've recently had a homeless person. It's just, it's so terrible what's going on with the homeless right now. So on the one hand, I have this enormous compassion for anybody living in that state. On the other hand, we've had somebody who's quite been sticking around where I live. And it's made it very uncomfortable for the residents here. And it's a conundrum. The police are like, you're on the sidewalk. It's your right homeless person. Okay, so much for us. So it's brought up a lot. And I've had to even there come back to, this is my movie. I can choose how I feel. Doesn't mean I'm a victim. Doesn't mean I have to take anything. But I can even choose to send this person into the light to get the best imaginable happened for him. That he wind up someplace far better than sleeping on the street outside of my place. And that, that is removed from my space, you know, and it's really very powerful because what do you think happened? I woke up today and he's not there. Cause you aligned with, and that's where people concentrate. Like how people get caught is a, they focus on what is, and when you don't want what is focusing on what is, focusing on what is just get you more of what is, you are in a frequency of wherever he was. When you put yourself in a visualization or process where you are writing the story about what it is that you want and you emotionally connect with that on every level, the highest vibration wins. You're going to get what you want. And that's how we can use law of attraction in all areas of our life to affect all people. That's why talking about politics and talking about all what's going wrong in the world doesn't get us anywhere. Those of us holding the light on the other end who are ignoring the rest of this are the ones that help us transition into solution because we're in a frequency where the solution exists. The solution doesn't exist where the problem is. Amen sister. So here we are at the very end and we just have seconds, but I must ask you, what are you next year to dream? Oh, well, I, we have 11 months left on this lease in this new place that was not, is not, it's the benefit of what I said yes to it was because it would remind me that I don't want to be here and then it would focus me. I needed to be focused and, and I needed to move so that I could get to the next level. And the next level is buying a home. And we were looking at buying a home in Ohio, although Doug said, can we buy a home here? And I was like, well, it doesn't have enough land. Anyway, so now we're, so for the next 11 months, besides saving money for the down payment, because we're already paying a mortgage, saving to the down payment, we're, you know, going to look at and manifest sort of what is the right next step. And so hopefully 11, 11 months from now, I will be sitting in my home, my perfect desired home that I love and want and have designed in my mind. That's beautiful. And you know what, if this is a law of attraction moment, my significant other Rob, this is what he does. He gets spiritual entrepreneurs to manifest their homes. He's in that element of real estate, even if they think they can't afford it or an investment property. So, you know, because we know each other, if we can be of any help, we're there for you. Thank you. Well, it'll be something we can all definitely visualize together and any more power to throw at me. Anyone else's visualization and knowing of our knowing. It's really just a matter of time. It's not that it won't happen. It'll happen. And I'm not, I'm not attached at this point. I'm open. I know that this is temporary and it's to focus me on, on focusing me. That's the point. I had to move out of my place so I could focus because I was way too comfortable and way too happy. And, and even though I want more universe had to kick my butt into here's how you get more. You can't be doing what you're doing right now. Hmm. All right. Well, I'm ready to party in Ohio. Thank you for coming on today, JJ and sharing your brilliance. It's been amazing. Debbie, thank you for having me. I so appreciate it. And I look forward to seeing you soon. Yeah. Yes. Did Oh well. I end with this quote. It is not God's function to create or. Uncreate the circumstance or conditions in your life. God created you in the image and likeness of God. You have created the rest through the power that God has given you. Next up on dare to dream. Remember, if you want to watch this number one transformation conversation, go to youtube.com slash debbie dashinger and you can see my amazing guest there or subscribe and give us a review. And thanks so much for joining us today on Dear to Dream.