 Wow, what an honor that band decided to unite just for us. They hadn't been together, and it's a perfect name, the final vision. If you finally made it through this world and you were rising up toward the light, wouldn't you love to hear the angels singing and harmonizing that way? It's like, oh my gosh, what was I thinking? You can feel home. You can just feel through those harmonies. Like there's such a call there, there's something inside that's yearning for what is natural. So when we hear those beautiful harmonies, it seems kind of ethereal. It's like, oh yeah, that's the natural. And what has seemed to be these very difficult emotions and perceptions and time and space, those aren't natural where we have projected our identity into something that's not natural at all. And yet, it all depends on our purpose. So we could say, well, the world may seem like a place of fear, but actually, if it's true that what Jesus says that the world is backwards and upside down, then it can't really be a place of fear. It must just be an opportunity to love and forgive. That's all this world is. And every single encounter and every single moment of the day is nothing more than an opportunity to forgive. An opportunity to remember. An opportunity to open our hearts up, open our minds up and be shown what is real and what is true. I mentioned last night that Einstein and Jesus had some very, very similar ideas about this cosmos. Einstein's very famous for his theory of relativity, but basically, Einstein was teaching that that time and space are not absolutes. And for a lot of people, they were like, hmm, it seems pretty fixed. Time seems pretty fixed and space seems fixed. It doesn't seem entirely subjective. It doesn't seem entirely perceptual. And yet, Einstein said, no, time and space are variable. There's other factors that are involved in that. And it's just for human beings, you know, when we adapt, our mind has adapted and adjusted to this very fake environment. And now what is extremely fake and fictional is now accustomed as, it's called real. When I've heard people say, oh, come on, these teachings are far out. Come on, come back to reality. But this world is assumed to be the reality. And it's backwards and upside down. For example, you know, we tend to think of time as something pretty constant. If I said that one second or one minute in Holland is the same as in France and Belgium and China and in all parts of the world, you know, most people would say, yeah, yeah, a second is still a second. We don't say a Chinese second or a Dutch second or a British second. I'll be there in a British 10 minutes. You know, sometimes I do get that when I'm in Mexico. They say, oh, you're in Mexico time. They say, what's that mean? Manana, manana. They say, what's that mean? They say, not now. When will this be repaired? Manana, manana. When do I pick it up? Not now. Come back later. No specific time. But generally what they've done, these physicists have run all kinds of experiments but they've actually taken a very accurate atomic clock and they've had one on the ground and then they put an atomic clock, an identical atomic clock set to the same time. So these two very precise clocks and they're telling the same time and then they leave one on the ground on earth and they put one up in a supersonic jet and they fly it on a supersonic jet around the world. They bring it down, they put the two clocks together. They're not the same. Whoa. They're not the same. And then if you, we know that the perception of astronauts is very different when they go into orbit or they go to the moon or they're in what we call outer space. A little bit above the earth. Basically they notice with this sense of weightlessness, it's a very different experience to be a human without much gravity. Where your food is floating by, if your barf floats by, things don't tend to go down. They just, and the bodies feel very different when there's less gravity. But if you imagine going to closer and closer to a black hole, what they discovered is the whole perception of time, of years, of time as humans perceive it is extremely different, massively different. Not a little different, but vastly different. And so what I wanna say is we have to start to remember that this world is a projection and so when the mind is asleep and dreaming, the closest thing really to the projector room while say, if your mind is the body. So that's why you can trust that how you feel in the body is like a barometer of how your mind's doing. You may wonder when I'm feeling uncomfortable, when I feel different types of discomfort, that is an opportunity to choose a miracle. You have an irritation, an annoyance, a headache, some stiffness, some soreness, you're fatigued, whatever, then that's just a projection of a state of mind that's projected onto the body. The body is so much identified as the identity now and the spirit is completely pushed out of awareness through the amnesia that a lot of times when we say I feel, we're talking about how the personality feels or about how the body feels. And then Jesus assures us that personalities don't feel and that bodies don't feel. There you go, here we go, this starts to get really deep. What do you mean the body doesn't feel? That really contradicts a lot of human experience. The body doesn't feel at all, but he's saying no, your mind tells your body what to feel. It's all in the mind. That's why Jesus says all illness is mental illness. There is no such thing as physical illness because that was a projection. A lot of times people are very much concerned with, they say please talk about healing the body and Jesus says at one point in the course, the mind was sick that thought the body could be sick. Wow, that's a powerful line. If you really start to just take it in, the mind was sick that thought the body could be sick. It's mesmerism, that's what Mary Baker Eddy called it. It's like hypnotism, it's mesmerism, it's hallucination. It's a figment of imagination and the meaning and the feelings which are experienced in the sleeping mind are projected to the body and that's why so many cures are sought for and Jesus calls this magic when you try to attempt to adjust and to come back to a place of comfort using what he calls external means. Anything that's believed to be outside the mind is external means and so we have to remember though that everything is the result of a decision. So if someone is choosing to feel ill, you have to remember that they're choosing that because they're afraid of something worse. In other words, people say to me who in their right mind would choose to be sick and I'm like, you got it right there. No one in their right mind would choose to be sick. Sickness is always a wrong minded decision and it must be if sickness is chosen, if feelings are chosen, ill feelings or even symptoms that it must be that that is a choice between two things and the other thing would be a lot worse and what's a lot worse to the ego is God, is the light. It's terrified of the light. It's terrified of awakening. It actually feels like the light is the enemy that if the mind turns toward the light then the ego will cease to exist and that's true. So it's like a fearful threatening experience. So Jesus tells us in lesson 136 when love comes close into your experience and you're too afraid of the love, it's like a sickness is a mechanism for saying, oh no, no, no thank you. Look at me, I'm vulnerable and it's like calling forth a witness. Oh, I'm frail, I'm weak, leave me alone. Or sometimes children who are afraid of getting struck by a parent will say, please don't do it to me, I'll do it to myself. I'll mitigate a much greater punishment by I'll do it to myself and this is what's going on. It's very insane but this is what's going on in the mind in terms of sickness. It's too afraid of healing. It would rather be right about being little and tiny and small than be happy in heaven. That's basically what it's coming down to. So we've had some really, really deep teachings this week and voice liberation yesterday and I felt today we would start to bring it back to what you're feeling, what are your questions in terms of practicality, in terms of how I perceive myself in the world, what are the steps for me to go inward to the light? What are the steps that are practical for me to help me loosen from this faulty perception of myself and everyone? How can I loosen from this false perception and come closer and closer to more of a healed and holistic perception? Time and space are relative and Jesus says yes and time and space are the same illusion. It's like the closer it seems to be to the projector, you think of it as space and the farther away from the projector you think of it as time but they're like two dimensions of the same error. Even time and space are not different in that they're two aspects or dimensions of the same error. Time and space are both projections. For example, if you held your finger out like this in front of your nose, you wouldn't describe the distance between your nose and your finger usually in terms of time. You wouldn't say I think that's 0.4 milliseconds away. My finger is 0.4 milliseconds away from my nose. You would probably describe it in terms of inches or centimeters depending on the culture. The closer it is to the projector, you think of it in terms of distance. And then the farther away, like we'll say your dining hall, you know, if I said how far away is the dining hall from the main arena where we are now, you could tell me in terms of, you could say it's like a two minute walk or you could say it's so many meters or so many feet. You could describe it either way because you notice with the finger you don't even think of it in terms of it would be ridiculous, you know. How far is your toe from your nose? Oh, it's about half a second. But if you said, oh, it's so many feet or a meter or so and so forth, the people would recognize it. So, and then when we think of it as like the stars, what do scientists, when they talk about stars because stars are so many millions of miles or kilometers away from the perceiver that we talk about them as light years. They're entirely described in terms of time. That's what Jesus means. The farther it is away from the projector, you think of it in terms of that. And this is the same with people. Like I was talking yesterday and if I came in here and I said, okay, I've got some questions for you. How far away is Sherlock Holmes? What do you mean? How far is Sherlock Holmes? Well, he's been dead for, you know, or Albert Einstein or Gandhi or Cleopatra or whatever, you know, how far, how far is Cleopatra? What do you mean how far is Cleopatra? What are you talking about? But Jesus is saying time and space are the same thing. So when we would say, we wouldn't say that Cleopatra is so many kilometers away, people would think you really have lost it. They said she's been dead and gone for years, decades, centuries, but it's the same error. Even those things like Cleopatra that pass away and we're on the screen there for a while and now they disappear from the screen, they're still all part of the projection. And time and space are the same error. And so in the end, that's why we have to forgive because as long as we believe in the ego and we try to project the ego to get rid of it, then we're going to be perceiving a cosmos of time and space that seems to be outside of us. And the only way that the projection disappears is through forgiveness, through the atonement where you start to see it's all mind. It's been a gigantic hallucination and it's been really convincing too, you know, when you wake up in the morning, get out of bed, fix a cup of coffee, brush your teeth, you know, get showered, get dressed, go through the rituals, you're usually not thinking of the stuff that I'm talking about now. It doesn't seem practical. It seems like you're just dealing with that tiny, tiny, tiny aspect of the hallucination that seems to be the personality self and the timeframe, what does the person have to do today? Where do I have to go? You see, those seem to be the practical things but it's on a very, very tiny scale in the overall cosmic sense of things. I happen to really enjoy philosophy because I have always pondered the deeper questions, you know, around existence. And yeah, nothing really prepared me for a course of miracles because, you know, when you get into the course, you know, it's basically saying that the cosmos doesn't really exist. That's, talk about a stretch. I always talk about how early on I was listening to a lot of cassette tapes of Ken Wapnick and I remember I was doing the dishes one time and I told this story where I'm doing the dishes and I'm listening and somebody's asking Ken a question on the tape, does the course, what does the course say about life on other planets? And Ken says, well, the course says there's no life on this planet. And I just, oh, I just smiled and I just was like, yep, okay, this is radical, this is radical. But the more you give yourself over to what it's actually sharing, he's saying that what the course says there is no life outside of heaven because God is the creator of life and life is God and life is with God and Christ is with God and life is light and life is love and anything other than that, nothing real can be threatened, nothing unreal exists. Here in lies the peace of God. That's just the introduction to the course. But when you really start to relax into that, you start to realize, wow, I need to be shown that I actually have no problems that I've been hallucinating. I've been believing I had problems and I've been hallucinating problems but I don't actually have any problems. Truly, if I go into this moment deeply enough, I will see I am loved, I am safe, I am home. So today what I thought I would do is we have some, our chairs up here for questions and interactions of things that maybe through the voice liberation some emotions came up, maybe throughout this week things had started to come up. Maybe you went to sleep last night with a few questions starting to bubble up into your mind or something that came to you during the movie or after the movie but I thought we would use the day just for the heart to heart joining and connecting on this from where you perceive yourself because that is the most practical thing. I assure you that the spirit loves you so dearly and the spirit and all the angels rejoice at every little effort you make to forgive, at every little contribution you make in your mind to forgiveness for the whole. There is great rejoicing even for the tiniest one. You shouldn't be concerned that you're not worthy to do this, you shouldn't be concerned that you haven't really given your life over or done this, you shouldn't compare yourself to anything. All those things really don't mean anything, they don't amount to anything. I mean there's a lot of cliches even that we grub hearing and even the cliches aren't true or aren't entirely true and they need to be tweaked a little bit and that's why we have these conferences and these interactions, it's fun to come together. I love going all over the world and meeting people all over the world because I don't believe in problems and sometimes they tell me they do believe in problems and I say well let's just sit down and have a heart to heart talk and we usually end up laughing and they come around to my point of view that there are no problems or at least momentarily they're willing to merge in happiness because they want to be happy, they want to feel the love so I've had so many dinners and lunches where I just sit there and I was traveling one time through Pennsylvania and a woman called me up on my cell phone and she said where are you? I said well I'm coming through this town, coming across from Wheeling, West Virginia and coming across the bridge into Ohio she said oh I know this restaurant, take this exit and I'll meet you for lunch. I said okay so I drive over the river, get off at the exit come, I go to the restaurant, I'd never met the woman before, she said oh let me give you a big hug and oh come on let's go over, let's have lunch, okay okay so I sit down at the booth and she leans at the booth and she says what are you experiencing right now? And I said that it's just us, it's only us and the whole world is with us but it's only us, it's right, right now. This is, I said it's so wonderful, it's so, she said okay you wanna order something? So we took and then I said just imagine if you could start thinking that there is a no world apart from your thoughts, like for example let's use us, let's say that this barn and this stage and this room imagine that you can look around, you can perceive the lights and you can feel the temperature and you can look around at the bodies and everything but just imagine that there was nothing outside of this room. If somebody said Amsterdam you would say no there is no Amsterdam but what about the United States? No there is no United States. China, no there's no China. The moon, no the sun, no it doesn't because everything is just a thought in your mind, remember it's all a projection and ideas leave not their source so you have got with you now a world of ideas and you may think that there are actual cities out there and actual people and actual countries and you may think there's an environmental struggle going on and political struggles and warfare and all these different things but Jesus tells us in lesson 132 there is no world apart from what you think so you can imagine things but it doesn't make them real and you can see how relaxing that gets. When John Lennon, remember when John Lennon made that song Imagine? I was just, I had the biggest smile on my face when I heard Imagine. Imagine there's no country. I wonder if you can. I had to play that a few times, okay I'll try. There's no country, ooh, starting to feel better. I had projected a lot of things onto those countries. Imagine there's no government. Imagine that this is a world of imagination and it's just in your mind and the only way you can heal it is by bringing it back to where it seems to be. Then you can let it go but you can't let it go if you think it's out there. All you can do is point the finger and blame and this should be different and I don't like this politician and why are they doing this to the animals and why are they doing this to the environment and the ozone layer and why, why, why? You have a choice to project and get all in a huff. What was the Beatles, John Lennon, Strawberry Fields Forever? There's nothing to get huff about. You either get into a huff by projecting or you see there's nothing to get huff about. Hung about, I think that's hung. You don't have to get hung up, hung up. So for me that is a way to start to bring your mind closer and closer to your thoughts and just start to look at your thoughts and start to really think to yourself, are these thoughts really contributing to my happiness and my joy and peace of mind or not? And perhaps if the thoughts are not feeling good and joyful and contributing to your peace of mind, you might consider letting them go because our workbook lesson today, if you follow along day by day, is I can elect to change all thoughts that hurt. You can do that. You actually can do that with everything. You can all elect to change all thoughts that hurt. Does that seem so intuitively helpful to know that if you had the power to believe in them, you must have the power to let them go or to not believe in them anymore. You can reverse whatever seemed to go on and you don't even have to be concerned about how long it took to become so seduced with these dark thoughts. You don't even care how long it took to get this way. You just want to be free of it. You want to come to freedom and you come to freedom by letting go of those hurtful thoughts, attack thoughts, judgments, grievances. There's just no point in holding on to grievances when they're taking away your precious peace of mind, which is natural. There's no point in hanging on to those anymore. And admittedly, this takes practice. I know for myself, I came across A Course in Miracles in 1986 and then it was euphoric and it was huge. It may have a huge impact on me, but I knew that I had to really give it my dedication for that almost, I'll say, slow and steady clearing and cleaning of the mind, unwinding. If the ego wound me in, I want to be unwound and I'm not gonna even judge the process of unwinding. I just want to go for it and go for that experience with all my heart. And that's all I'm encouraging you to do, not to try to think you have to somehow force yourself to wake up. I mean, if you had a child, for example, and you heard noises coming and you could tell that your child was in their bed and they were tossing and turning and they were having a nightmare, you wouldn't go in and grab that child in the middle of the nightmare because if the child is asleep and dreaming of a monster or something, you don't grab the child and try to wake the child up too fast because if you're shaking that child, the child may perceive the parent as part of the dream. Like the monster now is clutching, is grabbed hold of the child because when you're dreaming, it seems very real. So you would just have to go in and be very gentle to wake that child up in the softest, most gentle way. That would be the most loving thing. You need to be that loving with your mind. Don't be harsh, don't think coulda woulda shoulda's and what have I done? I mean, there's a saying that says time heals all wounds. Well, the only thing is, that's not entirely true. That's a major cliche, I know. Time heals all wounds, but really it should say the Holy Spirit, Jesus' use of time heals all wounds because Jesus tells us in the Course that time can waste or be wasted. So it's the purpose, what is it for? We even have to decide what time is for in order for it to benefit it. Time itself doesn't heal all wounds. It's the Spirit's use of time. The Spirit's use of the dream unwinds us from believing in the dream. It takes us all the way back to seeing we're dreaming and we're the dreamer of the dream. And then we're ready to change the purpose for the dream to want to forgive us and wake up from the dream entirely. So that just is another example about how even a lot of the cliches that a lot of us have been raised with aren't entirely true. We need wisdom, we need illumination. We need lots of illumination to be helping us wake up in a practical way. Okay, well I see now we're complete. We've got a whole row perfectly timed. And Lilo is getting the microphone. There we go, thank you. Hello. Hi. I feel a bit scared right now. My heart is pounding. Yes. That's good, just take a moment, just take a deep breath and just relax. There's some, I don't know, some being touched. I don't really know what to say. I just felt I should come up here. Was this a big barrier to come here? That's beautiful that you just, even to come up and put yourself in the chair, you know, is so beautiful. It shows so much courage just to say, I feel this way, but I won't let this feeling stop me from... Yeah, that's exactly, I just wanna go to the light. That's what I felt, like there's this tendency to sit in the back. And I just felt like, no, I wanna go to the light. But at the same time, it's so scary to even talk to you that's scary or see the other persons, Kirsten. It's like, I wanna go to that light, but so, so much fear. I just wanna go to the light. That's so beautiful. That's so beautiful that you just have that on your heart. We were talking about that, if you just have that desire to go to the light and then you can relax and trust and just let everything come to you, everything be given to you to serve that one purpose, one purpose. Yeah, and also like what you were saying before about the sickness and the headache, and I was also getting this headache, like when I get closer to the light, the headache gets stronger. I get the tendency, oh, maybe I should go back and then you were telling that and the headache just drops and now there's not really a little bit. So thank you, I just feel very grateful for everyone and all the people. Why don't you just settle in there cause there's a whole row and you don't have to leave. You just stay there and then when we go down the row, maybe you'll say, oh, something's coming to me now and they'll pass the microphone back down to you. So you can just sit there and enjoy it and relax and yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Hi there. I want to thank you so much that you are here and have told these words. Because I have exactly the same feeling. And I sit there and have been waiting until the end and I've seen, oh, there's a chair free. Is it for you? You have to do this. And I'm in a process since the whole days we've been here and yesterday it was the most important day for me because I'm so full of fears and I have been so confronted with this fears. And I had the feeling I can't escape anymore. There's no chance because there's no life when you don't have to do this. And I'm so extremely in prayer. Yesterday I felt it has been so much. Every day is so much put in. And I thought for me I have to rest a little and I haven't go to the meditation and I have room outside here in a B&B. And I got me the time for myself and I've come so deep in prayer with Jesus. And I had no chance to escape anymore the voice which is speaking in me since long time and I always have put it away. But that doesn't show me the way to be happy. And yesterday I had the wish, please show me the way. I'm completely open. I will be, take my body, take my eyes, take my hands, my feet, show me what to do. I give my pain, my fears all to you and show me the way. I trust you. It was so strong. And I begin to do what he wants to do, what I shall do. And I come in a flow and every second he speak to me. Sometimes I must laugh so much because he answers my questions with everything, with music, with song text and since a long time. And I often have to remember your words that you have told, it's the same to me. I can feel everything, what you say. It's like you are speaking. What I'm feeling and I had the experience that everyone here, everyone is a part of me. And then yesterday in the morning when I've done everything in every moment I questioned, yes, do you want this? You want me to do this? Okay, then I do it because I have promised it. And it was a big challenge. And but he gave me strength, he gave me, I've got the feeling that he is around me everywhere I go. He was near me, beside me, over me and always I had, I take care for you. I'm here, I take care for you. Don't be afraid. I show you the way. I lay in my bed before and so many things come, they were in me and there was a block, I was completely blocked and this block I cannot remove. And therefore I know I have to ask Jesus to help me. There's no other way. And then it goes. And I went. I took a walk to here, to this location and I was in prayer the whole time and I want to get my phone for the way. And he said to me, no, put it in your pocket. I show you the way. And he shows me the way. And I was completely open to everything, and I go and go and then suddenly I had the feeling this is the wrong way. Okay, I have to go the right, the street right by my side. And yes, that's right. And I go and then I was here. But there was a task I have before he has given me. Task, I don't know. And this task was so, no, I can't do that. Don't, no, no, no, no, no, I can't do this, no. And then it came, I give you every single moment I'm on your way and look only these steps, only these steps and don't look what will happen. I will arrange everything for you. No, okay, I do this. And then I'm completely, I came in trust and I do that. And I don't think any further. And I come to the castle and then I ask him, no, for myself, I had the question, should I go to the main gate or should I take the way where we have met in the parking places? And then he said, no, go straight on. And I go to the port gate. And I saw over this door, there was Mother Mary with his child. And every single song we had here, all my special songs that I play with guitar and I sing. And it's every, all the songs are my favorite songs. And then I was, okay, then it's the right way. I see Mother Mary and Let It Be is my song. And I go, I go straight through. And then I was in the garden, the wonderful garden. I go quite slowly. And then he take a seat and I take a seat. And I've never seen before there was an angel with a guitar. As if this were all special signs for me. I came in trust to follow. And the whole time I was in speaking with him the whole time. And when I said, no, I'm afraid, no, I'm afraid. He took me, he gave me an embracing and said, it's okay, everything is okay. It comes the right time for everything. It doesn't matter. I took you in complete, you are secure, completely. I had a rose with me before I was in my room. I have so wonderful woman, she is the owner of the house. And I had three roses in my, standing on my table. And Jesus said to me, took one rose and gave it to David. And I took it and asked if there was a white and a red rose. Which rose shall I take and I first take the white. Because I'm in my own thoughts. And then he said, no, took the red rose. And then I had with the red rose I had own experiences. I took, I have a recognition from a place where I've been. And he said to me, give him this rose and say to him, I have chosen the chalice well. And it's because I think I've been there, the chalice well in Glastonbury. He spoke with my words so that I can understand it, I think. Okay, I took the rose with me and say to me, when shall I do this? And I'm so fearful, I have so much fear in me. I don't know why. And then I took, we have lunch. I've come to lunchtime. And I've been at a table with some very nice people. And then I had the feeling I have to tell them. Because it begins, my fear was, I don't have to tell something. I don't have to tell that thing. In the morning there's nothing I have to tell. I say over to me and always when I say something to someone, afterwards I say, no, why did you say these words? And Jesus said to me, you have to tell something. You have so much to tell, tell it. And I sit in this room with these lovely people. And I spoke to them and this, that have been four or five people. And then I feel insecure. This was a test for me to speak with. I had the feeling with these people, you can, you're sure. Speak before other people, in front of other people is too much. Then speak to them. I had this feeling. And I told my story. And I felt touched because they, yes, they hear it and they give me the feeling that it is okay. No, it's not okay, it is good. They think they have been thankful. And this was a gift for me. Yes, the gift, I gave it and I received it. This is the same. Okay, and then I felt better, but I have the rose. And I, yes, I had so much fear. And then we go to the session and we make this exercise with fear. Oh, thank you. This is for me. And in this exercise, I've seen my fear and the fear was the light. I'm afraid of the light. And I can't imagine, no, it can't be. On the altar, there was a candle. You can't be afraid of a candle. And in this exercise, I made the experience of what fear is in me for nothing. For a wonderful thing. For something that is in all of us. No, we are it. We are the light. We are the light completely and nothing else exists. And this is all and all the people who are here are a part of this flame. And we have to get in fire. We are strong. We are so strong. And we can't remember this. Yes, and after this, I spoke, I had this experience. When I spoke with the people, I'm totally near. I let them speak. And I'm so with the man or woman which stands before me. And I want to hear this story. And everyone yesterday who spoke to me told me my own story. And this is another step to experience this trust. And Jesus always says to me, yes, I speak to you through everything. Through every person who is here. Through everything. You can't trust me. There is nothing else. Your fears doesn't exist. Yes. But I've lost the rose. Okay, good. It's served a lot. But it's beautiful though. From what you're sharing, there's so many helpful aspects. I mean, first of all, to just acknowledge that you have this connection in relationship with Jesus. It's just like a friendly connection. That's a huge thing just to be able to witness that. Because it just shows this is possible. And I would say this is the way that makes it open quickly when you have that kind of intimate loving friendship with Jesus and he talks to you and you're willing to follow and follow. And then to come to a conference of a treat like this where at the beginning he's like talking to in your mind but it's very safe and nurtured in there. But then to open it up to start to allow it to come through in many other ways is like a huge step to go from kind of an autonomous self into a merge. It's almost like you're merging in a bigger way with all your brothers and sisters. And that's huge too. And then of course the fears come up because this intuitive path that you're following is going against all the past programming. The voice from the past is don't say that. What are you doing? Who do you think you are? It will just come in there because it's like you're pulling your mind's energy away from it and it's frightened that you're not going to follow the rules that it made up for you. But I see from your sharing that really God's will is just for joy and happiness and love and freedom and that will for us is within us. It's not like we're going to find it in the world. We can see reflections of it and you're getting these amazing reflections coming now and that's just you're becoming stronger in it just by allowing that. But it's a beautiful witness actually for everyone that you can have this kind of intimate experience and when the fears come up you have your companion there with you saying no, it's okay and there's no forcing anything and it will all come at just the right time. You don't even have to be concerned of the how or the where or the when or the what. You just stay with that and you're speaking it up. So you came to the front seat and you're speaking it. Great leap of faith for me. Well, but I'm so glad. I'm so happy to share it with you all. In the morning I had spoken with a woman. I have a big experience and it was another step that lead me to sit here and so I'm so thankful for everyone who is here. It's beyond all words, beyond all words. Thank you so much all. Love you all deeply from my heart. Thank you. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Thank you, thank you. Hi David. Hi there. Something came up for me with the movie yesterday as there was so much talk about this and the hypotheticals and the superposition and at the same time the script is written. And I've spent a long time trying to accept what that really means with the script is written because I had a certainly a different understanding of the events of time before I started to listen to much of your talks because you are so firm with this, the concept of the script is written. But then I felt yesterday that you kind of opened it up a bit and like you're talking so much about the superposition and that it's our decision that kind of collapses what actually then happens. So with our choice of purpose then we kind of draw forth which one of all the possibilities there are. And now I'm just back to this confused state. So I'm really, to me there is a big contradiction in that like it feels like when we say the script is written then we mean there is like only one path that is, that's how I interpret that that the script is written. The things that are meant to happen they will happen, like if something breaks so we meet a certain people and yeah whatever it can be. But then when what I hear from the superposition then it feels more like some people have used the analogy of a video game like in that video game you have all the possibilities, you know if you walk into us that way you can go up or down and right or left and everything and everything is already scripted what you can do in there but you choose which of those. Then it feels like in that place there are several options to choose from even in form that the form isn't set. So I'm kind of, I feel frustrated right now that I'm upset about that I really feel I'm stuck in that as you put it like you're rocking the harder place like how do these things go together? On the one hand the script is written and then on the other hand we have this the hypotheticals and the superposition and everything and then there is this, purpose is the only choice and I'm like, how? This is just, yeah. There's a great conflict like and I feel that it's keeping me because I can't just step back and say oh yeah yeah it's all taken care of that would be like glossing it over because I really feel this is blocking me from relaxing into yeah it's all taken care of I don't need to be in control and everything but I really feel this is the next step too and I've tried so many times to get an understanding that will bring me the peace but it's not yeah so now it's activated again. Beautiful, this is beautiful. We can clear things up a bit too. Well when I was talking about the noodle the noodle is the script, it's a thing. People have asked me about that line in the course where the script is written and I'll say well the most important word in the script is written, is the written part because the written is, that's just a version the script is written is just a version of lesson number seven, I see only the past so the noodle is all the past. Still the question is do I want the problem or do I want the answer? Do I want the line or do I want the point? Is really what it comes down to because the noodle can be turned on its side at any point. There was a time when Helen Shuckman was pondering these things about time and Jesus kind of took her in her mind and he took her towards time and it was a time was actually a downward spiral in this vision that he showed her and it looked like it had, you know it was broken into pieces like people perceive time but then he went with her really close and he went all the way so close that he showed her just the right angle where she could see that it was all one thing from a different angle, from a side angle it looked broken up and from one angle, from an egoic angle it looks like a script, it looks like a noodle it looks linear and from another perspective it's not at all. So the only thing that goes above the script is written is you start to open up to this idea of simultaneity, of everything is simultaneous like you have to in the end start to you will not understand the script is written because it's like trying to understand the noodle and try to integrate the noodle in some way like just let me get this down like is that noodle there or is there something else? Well there's a different perspective that's available but that takes letting go of the past because every aspect of those potentials of superposition are all the past whether you arrange it in a noodle or you talk about it about superposition all those hypotheticals were not created by God and so you're simply following the guidance to take you to a point not of understanding time and space or understanding the workings of this world because this world can never be understood it's meaningless that's the first lesson of the course, workbook nothing I see means anything and peace and understanding go together and cannot be found apart so in the end it is about opening to an experience of this peace of this connectedness of this joy and this love and actually letting go of all attempts to understand the world or understand the distractive device even though you may have a different perspective it's like you're trying to grasp and hold onto something that can't really be found all you can do is surrender like I do not know the thing I am what I'm doing, where I'm going how to look upon the world or upon myself that's what takes you into the experience of peace is letting go of trying to know or understand anything through the apparatus of time or the five senses like I mentioned about the German philosopher how do we know what we know? we know prior to time and then when we believe in time we don't know anymore we block the knowing so it does, it can't feel disorienting, confusing but the idea of the script is written I would say is like a stepping stone kind of metaphor to take your mind but to start to open to the idea that it's all the past so when you try to choose between those hypotheticals it's still an attempt to choose between something where there is no choice there actually is no choice among anything of this world that's a tough pill to swallow the ego is like oh because it wants there to be choice so much and Jesus is like saying purpose is the only choice what is it for is the only meaningful choice is this for forgiveness or is this for maintaining this timeline identity it's really it comes down to that and so in the end as you go deeper with this choosing gets simplified because you're paying a close attention to your feelings and you're just praying and saying I want to learn to make no decisions by myself I want to totally align with the Holy Spirit's purpose and that's what brings about this transformation this awakening but you have to stay with the simplicity of that because as soon as you try to figure out it's almost like trying to figure out the steps the rungs on a ladder you know like analyzing the rungs okay script is written that's that's down it's a lower rung it's very linear and then you go higher and higher up the ladder and your mind is like saying that's a fascinating ladder I would love Jesus to understand this ladder and Jesus is like that's not the point of a ladder the point of a ladder is to use it and hop off it the point of the ladder is to cast the ladder aside and yet you can see how there's a part of the mind that wants to understand is it this rung or is it this rung or is it this rung and as you push off from a rung eventually you reach the top rung and what do you do what's the purpose of a ladder to get you somewhere higher and when you go for it you in the end that's why that song that played last night you know simply do this simply do this at the end lay aside all thoughts that you have believed about yourself and God and everything hold on to nothing hold on to no rungs forget this world forget this ladder forget this course forget this ladder and come with holy empty hands unto your God there's no way to understand the journey isn't that relaxing we can give up trying to understand the journey it's kind of like when people tell me they work with the course for years and they go oh I was really loving the course and then when I got to the manual for teachers I got to the stages of the development of trusts and they said oh I started reading the stages and right away which stage am I on you see it's another it's the same thing which rung am I on it's like if there's six stages I've got to be on number five that's for sure you know and then as you go deeper and deeper giving into the experience it's like damn I was on one I thought I thought I was on five and I was on one you know but it comes with this faith expanding faith like you show the way you lead the way let me not it's almost like if you were a comet a brilliant blazing comet streaking through the night sky and you started to be interested in your tail look at that damn tail wow that's a long tail that's a how long is that tail you know that's how silly it is when we try to figure out the script is written because it's a metaphor for I see only the past it's just a way of saying everything that you perceive is the past whether that's simultaneous past which I said it's like the unholy instant is really just one instant it's not really a line at all there really is no script from that point but it is a metaphor and part of the metaphor is just to point you to the idea that if it's the past I can never understand the past but I can forgive it I can never understand the past but I can release it I can never understand how the separation happened but I can accept the atonement that brings me my innocence and that's my responsibility is that atonement so it's good that you're bringing this up because I know a lot of people are wanting to hear this where you follow along but it's almost like getting stuck on a sticky point like you got your fingers in the pie and Jesus is like now it's a nice you've had your fingers in the blueberry pie that's right lick the blueberry off and get your fingers out of the pie because we've got an atonement to accept and your fingers in that pie are delaying you from what's required like a total surrender why would we think if we still are identified with the world or the body or time in some way why would we think that we could understand that it's almost like at times when I would I would get a new kitten and then I would start playing with the kitten and then I would start to look and the kitten would start chasing its tail it isn't that funny to watch the kitten chasing its tail but there's something about it that's a symbol to us like don't chase your own tail because you'll go nuts you'll certainly get dizzy if you chase your tail and in this sense it's almost like there's a part in there that wants some kind of maybe intellectual understanding and it will never come you will never find something that's satisfying it's almost like mathematicians that are trying to find the perfect equation and in the end spirit is not an equation at all they end up having to give up the concept of equations instead of looking for the perfect equation just want to mention something quickly between the questions it's beautiful we have so many people up here that want to ask questions but I would just ask while the seats are still available if you could wait in your seat before coming up because it's getting a little crowded up here and then just when you've asked your question and it feels like David's answered and it feels complete if you wouldn't mind just moving back to your other seat just to make room for the next person it would be great yeah well I just guess I have to will give up the whole question of trying to understand it because it just feels impossible so yeah time is impossible to understand it can only be forgiven and it reminds me also in the manual for teachers where Jesus says this is good he says the ego will ask many questions that this course has no answer for so that's helpful to hear that from Jesus the ego will ask many questions and the course has no answer for how did the impossible occur he gives examples then of ego questions the course has no answer for how did the impossible occur to whom did the impossible occur and many others so I would say I want to understand the script is written like you're taking a sentence out of the workbook and you're saying you want to understand that and of course that's how we do it we had education you had education right so did I I had lots of it I was 10 years of okay I want to understand you know that was my mode of operation let me understand what does this mean but the script is written is a metaphor it's like a rung on a ladder that's meant to be helpful and then pushed off from and you're to go higher than that and then Jesus doesn't stop there though he says an experience will come that will end your doubting and so we're here to desire that experience we're here to cultivate just what the gentleman next to you said I want to I want to go into the light there it is that's a desire that's a desire in the heart and the more you give way to it I'll tell you you will less more and more and you will not understand what this world means you know in fact you will become so clueless about this world that you will begin to understand that that's what salvation is I do not know the thing I am what I'm doing where I'm going how to look upon myself or upon the world poof because what was made as a defense against love can never be understood sometimes we just want to understand the world right we want to understand this environment and it might help us to go back to another line in the workbook which says the world was made as an attack upon God a place where God could enter not do you think you're ever going to be able to understand that line the world was made as an attack upon God a place where God can enter not you won't find that in the Gita you won't find that in the non dual teachings that's in of course the miracles and people say that's kind of wow that's kind of hard that's a hard line I said yeah but again that's not the goal of the course the goal of the course is atonement is going into the experience of love even the Beatles all you need is love all you need is to understand time and space da da da da da somehow it just doesn't doesn't ring you don't get the same feeling you know but all you need is love da da da da all you need is love da da da da all you need is love love love is all you need you can feel your heart going whoa so much for understanding the world okay the comet there's the tail I don't really care anymore I've got to go streaking through the darkness shining my light now that's important the tail who cares somebody says you got a tail do I? I don't know I'm not looking back for sure so that's the most important thing to remember it's difficult for the ego because the ego is bent on understanding something if you ever pondered like reincarnation like try to really figure out reincarnation it'll do the same thing if you go deep enough into it it starts to drive you nuts like how does a soul get into the flesh because I thought soul was from God but if soul's from God then that's eternal how do you get eternity into something that's so finite and temporary I never could understand that I had trouble understanding incarnation it was like a rung on the ladder there was a point in my spiritual development where I liked the idea of reincarnation because I thought all the souls make it back home and it's just a matter of time and nobody gets turned away and there is no hell I was so leaping happy excited and then the more you go actually how did the soul get into that body in the first in the first place you know it starts to fall apart because there's something much, much higher we were meant to rise up and those rungs on the ladder start to fall away so that's I would just remember what your direction is and that will calm the mind thank you Laini well I come really empty handed because what we were discussing like the past 10 minutes was actually one of my issues so but I would like to share what happened when I was sitting here I felt the urge to come up to ask about the script is written and the issues I have with it and when someone was sharing I was preparing in my mind and I was thinking how can I put it and how can I be clear and direct and then I got the guidance that I was not present so I was just in my head making up questions and stories and that couldn't be helpful so I was invited to come back to this moment and then the woman next to me asked the questions I have and I was like oh my god can I still leave but I got the guidance well this looks like yesterday's movie like there is a script written and you only have to pay attention now and you get your answers you get your answers now and afterwards maybe you can share it or you go away but listen now and that was it was kind of a heart-opening experience that I really can come empty-handed and just can experience so thank you beautiful that's the second time that's happened in the row where it's like one comes and then the next did you notice in the movie last night pretty early on in the movie we heard that Chris Johnson's Nicholas Cage's voice say the funny thing is every time you look at the future it changes and that changes everything and then at the end of the movie again every time you look at the future it changes and that changes everything and what I was talking about before the movie I was talking about quantum physics and Einstein and spooky action at a distance but actually that observer you know as long as the observer is the filter of the ego then remember that the ego is to change your identity from Christ to something else so the ego is the belief in change eternity doesn't know what change is eternity is just forever there's no beginning there's no ending eternity has changed less it's changelessness it's changeless so if the ego is the belief in change and you look at the future obviously you have to be looking with the ego and looking through the lens of change and then everything reconfigures so this idea we have about script and you know that's very linear you know it's kind of a rudimentary idea imagine going into dimensions of awareness where the baseline is not linear time it's simultaneously it's still not eternity but it's a step where everything is happening simultaneously you know that that doesn't have this past present future of quality to it Jesus has really some interesting things to say in the course about about time in that way he said the ego invented time and Jesus says there is no continuity between past present and future and egoically the ego is trying to force continuity onto its own construct it's trying to make things continuous so it's trying to say yeah the past and then present and future it basically emphasizes the past and future to the ego the present moment is a tiny little blip that's squeezed between the past and the future the ego likes to emphasize the past because of guilt look what you've done you're a miserable sinner and then there's this tiny little blip ineffectual worthless it's almost tinier than a little pimple it's nothing this guilt from the past heavy heavy rolls over this tiny little blip and then it just projects onto the future and you're a sinner it says there's a present moment nothing you can do about that and then you're a sinner and then you'll burn in hell basically that's what it invented linear time for and it tries to force a continuity onto that continuity why not look for the present like you said be present that's what Jesus is really calling us to he's saying don't get caught up with all these questions about time or about the world or about the distracted device come to me and come with me into the present and come with me into the presence be in the presence and you'll find that is everything and that's where the continuity is I always I even like the word continuity I thought oh I like the sound continuity I like that continuity it flows and why do I like continuity because it reminds me of connection I think of connection when I think of continuity and Jesus is like very good that's very good I'm trying to teach you about continuity and connection and love and that is your spiritual reality that's what God created you eternity is where you're going to find your continuity and you will never find that in time so don't even try to find it there and that's why at the end even things that we're struggling with like interpersonal relationships and looking for love in all the wrong places and in too many faces and all the country songs have been helping us out with that it's because underneath it we're searching for continuity in the one place where there is no continuity which is linear time thank you it happens again it seemed so important when I had to ask and say and now being present it just seemed to have vanished or disappeared and my life has come to like radical changes once in 2015 when I left the corporate world and I got into my like radical forgiveness coaching business you can call it a business or whatever and that seems to be falling apart too so when the Into the Kingdom retreat was announced back in April or March I felt the cold and I registered almost immediately and as I was buying my ticket I'm always very structured so when I leave home I always do it for one or two weeks, never more because I have to be back and I have to be responsible and stuff like that and this time it was like why am I doing this leave the ticket open let's see what happens I mean jump into it call it a leap of faith just go and see and it felt wonderful just coming here with no plans at all just the retreat and then who knows and then yesterday we had that fear exercise and I went through it and it seemed okay and a few things came up but not much and I went to sleep and I had a dream and I was sitting outside the reception with my back on the Sunday not knowing what to do and feeling really afraid saying like I'm having no guidance I don't know what I'm doing I was open for this and now panic where do I go, what do I do so yesterday after Emily talked I thought Spain I can go with her to Spain and I can be her bilingual secretary help her with whatever she needs if there is so much going on so I walked to her quickly and I said can I come to Spain with you and she said no the devotional stays are not open now we were announcing them in a month or something so it's like oh what a setback right now when I was sitting here and I was listening to you and my mind was thinking about my story and then it suddenly seemed so unimportant and just trust woman trust you've been there, you've opened your heart don't let fear crawl back into you just be open and as he said earlier on go for the light I want to thank you for channeling that light for showing me my innocence I really appreciate it so beautiful because we do just everything is prayer so even you saying Spain and I want to come with you and everything because I was in a the lunch meeting then where he said yes someone wants to come right with me we have to stay open to all things we're only in the middle of the retreat so we are always praying we stay open to these things in the sense that there's the divine orchestration and we still take it moment by moment even that speculating about the end of the retreat the ego will dream about those things and this and this but it is good that you just are voicing all of this because that's very much a part of how prayer works for us we come together we hear what's being expressed what's being voiced that's one of the beautiful things starting with this gentleman and then everyone who's come up has just said I have fear but here it is this is what's on my heart I want to go to the light I want to overcome my fear you know it's just putting it out there and I feel your heart and I feel you know the prayer and the steps you're taking because from your previous life of corporate where timelines are very important and even the coaching that timeline is still important that it does come a point where you are ready to take new steps and that is very guided by Jesus and we are in constant prayer as we go through this even in terms of like I said when we talked about Spain and Mallorca you know we're just in the prayer of show us and let it be obvious so it's beautiful we're right in the middle of a retreat but I think it's beautiful that you've just brought that and put that on the altar and made us aware of that so thank you and I know it's going to be spectacular whereas they say in Espanol spectacular thank you can you hear me? so first I want to thank you for being such a wonderful teacher and for being coming into my mind you have a powerful mind you called me absolutely last night the movie I've watched it before and it blew my mind then but last night it really blew my mind and after the movie I had a very strange experience I was feeling off balance and not feeling my body at all and I was sitting with someone telling them I feel like I'm high but I haven't smoked anything and trying to articulate it felt the only thing I could come up with was non-locality okay so and then in that experience the question came to my mind about the script is written so somebody asked you're in the right row there the script is written row so I just sat with that let it like percolate what does that mean are we because I know the course says that don't try to change the world change your mind about the world at the same time anything we look at changes so obviously it's not linear but anyway I sat with that and this morning the experience I had that was given to me actually is stepping outside of the script you know that's the answer not trying to figure out the script but actually stepping out so since then I've been feeling out of the script non-local and time has the concept of time has dissolved a while back so I put all of those together now I'm just sitting with it and I just wanted to share that since my question was answered anyway yeah that's good because not long ago I just poured out this whole expression of the dreamer of the dream on Spreaker and that has come up on different meetings I've been this script is written it's like I'm getting dreamer of the dream dreamer of the dream people calling me dreamer of the dream I'm the dreamer of the dream there's no time element in that at all yes I mean no time I got that but non-locality is a new thing non-locality yeah I think it's that's the ultimate that really is zooming right into the heart of Atonement and so I think this idea too of just opening to this experience that that doesn't really have the qualities of time at all is good just by praying and desiring it and realizing that's everything you know there's not like techniques or steps or all this other things those are all have their time and place so to speak in terms of practicality but giving yourself full allowance and full permission because in that there is no personal perspective and without a personal perspective there are no problems and so the dreamer of the dream doesn't have any there are no problems in that perspective and to me that is the simplest everything is extremely simple but that is the whole perspective of you might say healing healing is healing is not a process in that healing is not there's nothing that is healing it's like healing is it is healed all is healed in the dreamer perspective so I rejoice I rejoice in that with you yeah before I came to the retreat which was totally guided and I'm here without going into details my prayer of the heart is to have an experience that would end all downing and this is very strong I'm sitting here I'm watching the body do what the body does the words coming out whatever they are but I'm not in the body and I'm like whoa it totally blew my mind and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving me that experience that's a great testimony to watching a movie together when it seems like you haven't taken any drugs whatsoever your body your mind is high your body feels like it's stoned or gone exactly and all you can do is just kind of observe the whole thing there's nothing else so it doesn't matter anymore what the script is written for yeah you're moving out of that realm thank you thank you now I got a wobble take it easy just walk real slow there hi David hi Adrienne when I came on Monday I got this feeling that I'm tired but I'm tired because I did so many groups so many retreats and somehow I was afraid that maybe it's one more group one more retreat and it's passed away so it's everything and I paid very attention what you are speaking out and to relate to my questions and my feelings and I found this explanation yeah now I know why I couldn't fit into this world why I could not be happy for a long time because I don't belong in this world that's the clear explanation for me yes I have no other explanation because I am red and being other religious and philosophical schools thought systems and yes that's the explanation I tried hard and hard and happened this eternal happiness and of course I have also it's funny to hear about metaphysics and and I sometimes I ask myself how can I tell the other people it's like these people that stay on the corner and Jesus Christ comes and so on and so on he's crazy or anything else but because at the same time I have this need to belong to a group or someone and of course I have to learn the rules or the thought systems as for example I want to play soccer and I have to learn the rules but when I came and say hey people you can play different what are you doing here you are playing soccer and and yeah sometimes when I think about it's a little bit difficult for me to relate to how can I manage it and okay yeah I think my big fear is yeah to lose contact with God and Jesus and myself okay maybe it's just a group but because in the past I had this thought need I have to belong to this group because that's the salvation and so on but I think the approach is not correct maybe it's approach to be connected and yeah to be connected with God I think I really feel like you can really have some fun with this I used to go to all kinds of groups and retreats and everything like this and then sometimes you find yourself seemingly at a retreat but you want to have some fun in your mind so you think well I seem to be at a retreat now but maybe in my mind I unplug from thinking I'm in the retreat and I just oh I just watch everybody ooh it's fun to watch them all watch the figures come and go I don't have to think I'm at a retreat I can it's not so fun to think I've done so many retreats before I don't need to do another one I don't have to plug into it but I still can appreciate and feel the love and the connection of everything and I think that's part of just for you becoming more and more trusting and allowing and intuitive like sometimes I would get invited to go to a place or a retreat and I'd go there and they'd say here's your bowl and here's the rules and here's the time and here's everything and then I'd go oh okay thanks and then I'd go sit up on a mountain and just have so much fun allowing myself the playfulness to just observe and if there's any kind of a sense of the past or any kind of sense of repetition or a tightness say no no I'm not interested anymore in tightness I'm not interested in repetition even with certain structures certain structures even like the workbook of A Course in Miracles they serve their plays for a time and even for like 12 steps we talked about 12 step groups and how helpful they are and they serve and they serve and you you don't ever deny the usefulness of it of like those steps and fully putting yourself over and then there can be some times where you just start to feel like you're expanding and expanding and you can just say thank you steps or thank you to these these steps that I've taken with full gratitude but it's almost like a child who plays with a toy and then one day they outgrow the toy and renounce it to their parents or whatever they just leave it in the front yard it's just they you can tell the exact moment that they outgrew the toy because it's right wherever it was left they didn't think okay I have now officially outgrown this toy da da da da everybody come see I'm renouncing this toy I have transcended the toy I will never play with that toy again who knows they might pick that toy up again but you know the feeling when they've outgrown it it's like you know kids are so great they don't have to like make a big production they just leave it on the sidewalk or the front yard or in the hall or whatever we can do that too we can have some fun you can do that with retreats maybe you've got all these retreat ideas in your mind and it's a little stale this time I'm going to let that one go I'm just going to have fun and just really enjoy myself here enjoy the experience of this without defining it or even labeling it as a retreat so I think that's where you're at right now in your mind you're going to have some fun with the spirit some playfulness with all of these things and there was something that you said if you try if you try to to win from this situation something I lost and I noticed that okay it's very fun for example now I belong to a church and that was not in my script in this life to a church to belong and okay they talk about Jesus and repentance and Jesus and that funny but when I tried to win something oh okay the heaven or something else and then I feel this anguish anguish in myself and I feel guilty oh man sin and this and so on and for me to belong in this church is a kind of forgiveness election just forgiveness and okay I have something in myself I have to forgive Jesus maybe because he talks in the course to forgive himself and another something interesting that each time I could not finish till now the textbook because when I came to this chapter about a special relationship I have a block okay not this time wait wait maybe you can through this later but that is a very important issue for me I think that's important that's beautiful you know sometimes it's it's funny when we watch movies and we hear comedians because they love to poke fun at anything but I remember many years ago I think I was watching a Woody Allen movie and he said I would never I would never belong to a group that would have me as a member and I was like I don't know I like that but when you think of it as the me the personality self why would you want to belong to anything that had a restriction or a limitation to your identity involved in it but that's such a fun idea I would never belong to a group that would have me as an identity until you finally shift the me the I to the Christ all loving all inclusive but there are no groups in Christ Christ is all and all it's the glory of God's love so yeah thank you Adriano I mean I've always enjoyed your presence on all of our online retreats and it's a joy coming here and being in your presence and your sincerity and every time you speak you know it's if you feel your heart and you're giving yourself more and more of an allowance to connect and to feel that love and even like being transparent many people come to those chapters on specialness and go oh whoops not now but that's good too because that's being very transparent you know there's no sense of trying to hide it it's just saying well here's what my resistance is and I'm going to lay it out bare I'm not going to try to pretend or hide it and that's healing right there just that so beautiful so thank you thank you so much some cheering feels good we're talking about giving up and surrender my issue is for now but for a long time already maybe for 40 years when I leave my house my physical house I get worried when I go to events like this it's always the same I get worried about leaving it inappropriate the gas is still on I try and this time I feel strongly I want to give my self permission to let the ego die really die it feels like dying myself and dying the persons who are killed because of my leaving the house that way because of my house it's my neighbors and they get in fire and it's insane but that's the thought and that feels good that feels good feels very deep level saying okay there we go and like what's his name Adrian I'm very ready for fun and joy yes I feel a lot already but I want to get into it full so that's the process and it feels helpful to share this process that's so beautiful there's a line from the workbook that's coming to mind because I think there's all like concerns and worries or even just the slightest bit of anxiety if you kind of went underneath the feeling you would you would still see that there would have to be some kind of a belief there and the belief that there are such things as accidents random occurrences or coincidences or the hypotheticals like well if I'm not there and something happens and the house burns you know burns down then you know you think about a hypothetical situation I actually did a conference I think it was a couple years ago where a friend of mine came and we were having the presenters meeting it was a course of miracles conference we were having a presenters meeting and we were going around the room and everybody was sharing where they were at and my friend Earl Purdy was a course of miracles teacher he was one of the presenters and he said well I'm glad I made it but I'm a little shaken up my apartment had a big fire in it and I was sleeping and I was awakened so I got out but I'm here now but my apartment burned my house, my home burned and everything and it was even so beautiful just the disclosure of the feeling of the feelings and everything but underneath I think any of these kind of worries or concerns we'll call them and anxieties there's this belief that bad events and bad events and so the mind is dividing up the world into the good and the bad good, the house is still there everything safe and secure, bad it's burned to the ground it's my fault and that's the core thing the core thing, the responsibility thing too, it's like oh that would be my responsibility I would have to answer for it and so forth and then there's this line in the workbook of A Course in Miracles and it's short but it really is helpful Jesus says even in this world it is I that rule my destiny what happens is what I desire and what does not occur is what I do not want to happen I'm just like wow there's no random there's no there's no accident what could an accident even mean if even in this world it is I that rule my destiny what happens is what I desire and what does not occur is what I do not want to happen talk about empowering talk about the end of victimization talk about the end of anxiety the end of concern then it comes back to just what I heard you saying loud and clear I'm ready for fun I'm ready for joy your attention is on the joy your attention is on the fun what happens is what I desire well if I'm coming from that purpose and that really is something I want and I have a very powerful mind an extremely powerful mind a child of God mind that powerful then it starts to put your attention it's like wow then I really want to focus my attention on what I truly want and as I pray for that I will be answered again even in this world it is I that rule my destiny what happens is what I desire and what does not occur I do not want does not occur it's so powerful because there's no room for some something else that is outside it's from a workbook lesson called my capital self is ruler of the universe people have trouble sometimes doing that workbook lesson they look at it twice my self is ruler of the universe none of us learn this from our parents can you imagine that at the dinner table just remember you're the ruler of the universe it's so surreal but coming from Jesus you know we're like okay I'm gonna do the lesson but what he's saying is that you're not at the mercy of anything is basically what he's saying and he said this 2000 years ago when he said be of good cheer for I have overcome the world it's just a version of him saying that's what the Christ nature is the world of images you're not at the mercy of the world of images in his case even images of the body bleeding on a cross he was not at the mercy of the images didn't change the Christ the Christ was not a product of images so I think it's fantastic that you're just feeling that feeling of opening to the fun and opening to the joy and saying wow I'm gonna enjoy this I'm gonna enjoy the adventure onto that and then if anything comes up that isn't fun or isn't joyful that would be something where you could you could just question it and say you know I'm not going to just blindly accept this as a reality because this doubt thought is not my reality so it's beautiful it's so beautiful thank you hello David hi I have to go back in time when you were a horse in North Holland we had a talk but there were no questions for me because I only saw the Holy Spirit and the real world and it never left me but after that it always stayed with me and it was nice and sometimes difficult then you were in Holland and I just make some pass and then a friend of Nader I thought she asked why there are so many white people and only less black people and you said I don't know actually but for me it was I only see the light and then BOOF I saw only the light I saw different people only light but that's the real world that's the same it was just a peak or something I don't know so I was very happy to come here and so we have two practice and the first one I find it very difficult because fear or guilt comes and it's a way because I'm very present at the moment so but I like that I like the fear it sounds not right but I like it I like the fear I like the guilt really I like it but with the practice I have to go to it for I it seems difficult to go there but I ask Jesus and then that's very well the first practice and the second practice I said I just ask Jesus and then I went down because I asked let me go to the bottom and I went to the bottom but I was not afraid because like Nader said I asked your guide with you and there was no I did it before and I was very afraid but no there was no fear at all no guilt nothing at all and I started laughing laughing like I did at school and then I get punished but now I got laughing I couldn't stop beautiful and now comes my question this is for me it's strange because I was on the bottom it was ready and then everybody is enlightened and I am not because I am the last one so I see only light and I have to it is so strange this but it is beautiful you see everybody is enlightened and I am who thank you well I'm the last one but thank you I don't care it's just worse but there's a feeling I try to pull that's it because that's how Jesus works Jesus knows that to go fully into the state we have to transfer the training and what you just said is a version of what a number of people tell me where they go I can see all my brothers and sisters with such love and innocence not myself but I can see them and I say well that's good because it's like a lighthouse that goes around in the dark like 360 turn and oftentimes the last body that we're able to release is the body that we've thought of as our self but it's good that we can practice and build the momentum and build the confidence and practice with others that way and then it sweeps around finally in the end we really see that forgiving what we thought we did is the core in the end it does come back to a forgiveness of the self we thought we made which is not just a body it has to involve everything without exception so I think it's great you're on track and you're shining so much light as you see your brothers with so much love and so much innocence and you see them enlightened it reminds me of a song from I forget the artist but he was a friend of mine on Facebook and MySpace but he's got long hair and a beard and his song everyone is Jesus everyone is Jesus everyone he's just so happy and he goes around and he just gets into the vibe of seeing everyone is Jesus and he just gets happier and happier and happier and that's the same kind of a thing I think it takes you toward the light so that's beautiful and it's assured that you will be included in that it's like the movie it's the the point I only see the point that's it thank you that's beautiful that's beautiful I feel like this little midget or mosquito that is stirring up something again the script is written there are still thoughts that I'd like to talk about I fully understood mentally what you were saying that we have to leave the past and just so upwards but the thought still is I was thinking of a discussion between Gary Renard and Jennifer Hadley about the script is written and they were comparing it to a video game it depends on what choice what what the outcome will be and I thought of it if I choose the path of love the path of forgiveness I open up to the miracle if I don't do it then everything will be a struggle and the fear is then do I just gloss it over if I still have the discomfort I can't really embrace it there is still these thoughts if you change your mind the world will change and the script is written there is still this discrepancy but I can't get the merging point really if I can embrace as Mona said stepping out of it seeing is just the past seeing the point and not holding on to the noodle like Lady and Lucen you'll remember when they are eating the noodle so this is still nagging at me and the fear that I'm passing it over if I say I have the discomfort but I can't just choose the pathway of forgiveness and then there is the miracle in the future and this is just so wow it's confusing and still it feels better for me to think along the lines the path of love and forgiveness and Jesus promises the miracle now this was the first part and the second part you are choosing the path of love you are demonstrating it wherever you are never talk with everyone you are showered by miracles and what I'd like to know if you if you hadn't chosen the path of love would you have had these miracles no matter what so there we go the one is the glossing over that I'm afraid that I'm not doing it right and the other would the miracles come despite which way I choose well there's a line in the course that actually really helped me when I first read this line in the course I kept looking at it and I'm like what does that even mean what what what I said is this like a riddle or something I don't know what it is but the line is the more you look at fear the less you see of it isn't that a fascinating line the more you look at fear the less you see of it and I thought oh that's good the more that I look at allow the darkness up the more you know instead of repressing and suppressing the more I look at it of course the only way you really can look at fear is with the Holy Spirit and Jesus you can't really look at it any other way it's hidden if you're not inviting it and you're not saying be with me Jesus be with me Holy Spirit then you're actually keeping a lid on it all saying I don't want to see it and you keep it stuffed down there and then it gets projected out and you see the fear everywhere but the more you look at the fear calmly peacefully allowingly look at the fear the less you see of it the less you perceive of it so to me this is why the course is a path of going through the darkness to the light it's not about affirmations it's not about trying to deny what you believe or deny what you're thinking about the fear and the fear and thoughts of grievances and attack Jesus is like we're fine with fake but just don't lie about it in other words the Holy Spirit and I know that none of those thoughts are who you are and none of those thoughts are real but we're good with that we just want you to don't hide it from us and don't protect it my face was the face of David was wet with tears I think through, I don't know for years in my late teens and into my university years that way I remember just spending a lot of time in the basement just crying with just facing looking at the darkness facing the darkness and crying and crying and crying like Niagara Falls coming out of the Niagara Falls out of this eye and Iguazu out of the other eye and of course I was down in the basement and I I was on a couch and my dog Chipper was right on my lap licking as much as I could cry that pink tongue I got years of the pink tongue treatment like you cry, you face all the darkness and I just lick it up you know maybe it was salty too I don't know but it was like lick, lick, lick and you know something about that is a pretty strong symbol of when you're going through the deepest, darkest emotions and you have a dog licking your face that adores you there's something that turns it around into like a healing situation I was just like that was better than psychotherapy Chipper didn't even have a fee I had been broke with thousands of hours over years if I had to pay that fee if Chipper was a psychologist a psychotherapist I had been broke but he just licked and licked so ultimately what I see is you're on the right track as you don't try to use metaphysics like that line the script is written and try to do okay the script is written and I'm not this and I'm not that you can't mentally try to make it into some kind of part cheesy game or something in your mind where you're just going to get the right metaphysics you really got to just give yourself over to it's going to look how it's going to look and I'm not going to judge how it looks I didn't judge the tears I didn't judge how long years those tears went on I just gave myself over to it and said whatever I'll go through whatever to have this experience now in terms of your questions there can be all different kinds of concepts about if you change the inner the outer will change oh my gosh you can have a field day on that one people talk about manifesting if you change your mind to an abundant way of thinking then you'll manifest an abundant world around you or if you change your mind then you'll see witnesses of love if you change the inner the outer will change and people even use that as above so below here's the thing if you give yourself over to the Course in Miracles workbook and you start on lesson one and you go through that Jesus has designed the workbook to show you one thing that there is no inner and outer that's what the whole point is you're not going to ever have a question about if you change the inner then the outer will change because guess what ideas leave not their source my thoughts are images I have made my thoughts have not left the mind of the thinker there is no outer I'm simply looking on a motion picture in my mind of the thoughts that I still hold and as soon as you get it back there from away from this inner outer thing your problems are gone Jesus says that there's no world apart from what you think he says that in lesson 132 the whole workbook is designed to have an integration of your mind including the belief in inner outer including the belief in observer and observed including the belief in subject and object all the great non-dual teachings throughout the centuries there is no difference between the inner and the outer so when you're at peace guess what you can't help but perceive a peaceful world because there is no world apart from what you think if you're thinking the thoughts of God thoughts of love that heals the whole world because why there is no world outside of your mind and this is what quantum physics discovered you know seven, eight, eight decades ago and yet when they discovered this through their experiments the original quantum physicists who discovered this they didn't want to publish their papers because they thought they would be ostracized and they would be thrown out all of science for publishing these findings but they just need to apply their discovery to thrown out of what you know it was still a belief in a society a psychological society a group of scientists you see they needed to apply the discovery full stop you know to everything that that's where you're at it's not really that you you have a quandary about the script is written or you have a quandary about the inner and outer but I think you just have to be very allowing and that's what we encourage yeah that's I think I grasp that now the allowing is really to to be honest and say I think the first question I have to ask how do I feel when I'm in a discussion I'm going straight to this oh I want to choose this I don't want that anymore and maybe that is too fast for me because I'm well other people can get upset because they have an upset and I should honor that and maybe by asking how I feel I can see well there is still an upset in me as well and I'm not there yet it's as Mona said she had this experience and that's what I want the ego wants I know but I still want it I want the experience of I don't have to question everything I don't have to analyze I just as he said I want to be in the light thank you thank you David thank you all of you you are just these great angels I feel that I felt yesterday it's just such a great retreat honestly everyone here big hug to you all thank you thank you Gertie and I think Gertie you're right on just remember that Jesus says the one right use of judgment is how do you feel don't skip over that sentence with the one right use of judgment and then concludes with how do you feel how do I feel don't put that as second you know because you have to go there first to make it authentic if you skip over those feelings then you're trying to skip into like a mind mind game online and call it mind games and Jesus has given us the most direct straight path he doesn't want us to skip over feelings at all perfect thank you hi David I felt drawn to come up here it has felt like the latest year that I've been coming in touch with a shamanic anger every time I'm in contact with the light this anger comes up and when I'm on a walk I suddenly start shouting really loud and when I go to my breaks after all the loving conversations and dinner I go to my room and I can feel the voice of the Holy Spirit just wants to shout and it feels like right now I can feel what's underneath it and it's a big unworthiness and a big hurt and I've noticed that every time you smile I love to look at you when you talk but when you look at me I look away very fast because I believe that it can hurt you you're just describing what we have to go through because it's like the anger has been so pushed away you know it's not acceptable in society it's not acceptable in family it's not acceptable in relationships it's not acceptable where we work it's just not acceptable and yet Jesus assures us that he says in the Course until you are willing to look upon the full extent of your own self-hatred you will not be willing to let it go so that kind of fits with that line I was just saying the more you look at fear the less you see of it until you're willing to look upon the full extent of your own self-hatred you will not be willing to let it go it reminds me of those obstacles to peace you know when you get down to the fear of God or the fear of God's love it's so intense that the ego projects it onto persons onto your body onto the world you just go for a walk and you start screaming at the trees and everything because it's almost like a volcano that is going to erupt and it's almost like no it has to go somewhere it's just it's too intense now in one sense I would say because you're aware of it you know now there's a stronger urgency to heal because most of the 7 billion people are walking around on a keg of dynamite but they've got that keg so wrapped up so bottled up they are not aware they may see pictures of Saddam Hussein or Osama bin Laden and Hitler and go ooo villains and vicious ones ooo tyrant ooo look over there tyrant multiple mass murders ooo well it's easy for them not to finger but they're not aware that they're sitting on a keg of dynamite and they've done a lot of work to suppress that dynamite there are others who are on the spiritual journey who who say I've been told I'm sitting on a keg of dynamite but I'm not experiencing that so they do rebirthing and they do circular breathing they do ayahuasca they they do psychedelics they do hallucinogenic drugs they they do 5 straight voice liberations with Netta they're like saying hey I know you're down there you've been hiding pretty good I'm going to get you I can't get you with drugs or I can't get you with the breathing I can't get you with Netta you're not hiding out anymore I'm going to find you anger and you're going to have to show your face because I am not going to hold on to you because I want to go to the light well the thing about it is in one sense I know it's painful but you're in touch with it it's not that far from the surface you're closer to the ultimate healing because you're in touch with it it's hard to handle but you also have a very strong urgency now with it because the volcano the lava has come much more to the surface it's not buried way down under miles under it's kind of getting close to the top of the volcano and sometimes some of it spews out there when you're on a walk when you allow it you let some of those things shoot out of there and throw a few rocks and some lava out there I think lava is like twelve or fourteen hundred degrees fahrenheit that's hot that's some hot flowing liquid there so in one sense still it comes back to the daily practice like for me I knew that I may have certain things that help trigger the unconscious and those are very helpful they all have their own usefulness but in the end I'm just going to have to go for the slow and steady practice you know it's like the old story of the tortoise and the hare the rabbit may go racing on in high speeds but sometimes you go with such high speeds that the rabbit has to just finally rest not the turtle think of yourself I'm going to be a turtle a turtle for Jesus and it just yes Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus and then you look and you look about everybody else in the room and they're all like on the autobahn zoom zoom you know they're on the fast track to enlightenment okay I'm going to be a turtle but I'm going to be a turtle for Jesus I'm going to practice this and take this stride by stride step by step and I'm going to let it come up because I know it has to like I did with my tears like I and I did know that when I was crying and when I got to be so sad I did say I think there's some anger underneath this sadness and then eventually when I started to really get in touch with the anger really like a turtle with Jesus I'm like okay Jesus we got some major anger coming up here now this is feels dysfunctional I can't be around my parents when I'm raging I can't be around my friends when I'm raging in fact it's not really good to be around society when you're raging and Jesus is like yeah just turtle right over to this hermitage that I have for you out in the woods I take some nice walks and scream and there's some I got some nice rocks for you to scream at and you know and the rocks were fine they were like rocks were like we're so glad to be a part of your healing process you give it to us scream at us as loud as you want yeah we love you you know so it still comes back to that guidance even when it's intense rage whatever it's still Jesus still there for us and still will give us things like hermitages or he just said yeah you're right it's best not to be around people during this phase so here come here I'll take you out out where you can let it up without any worries or concerns for you know repercussions from that so that's how much we're loved and I just would assure you that that you're you're just exactly where you are on your journey and it's perfect nothing's going wrong and that there will be this guidance that will allow for you to let it move through really almost like if we had a kidney stone you know what do you do with a kidney stone you eventually have to let it pass yeah and I'm actually very grateful that it is coming up because I can feel how it has been making me sick and tired for years and it has been my biggest desire to let everything come up so yeah thank you thank you yeah we're honored that you can do that it's for everybody thank you hi David hi there I was sitting in the second row and then all the participants came here to sit and I was listening to them and feeling into it and suddenly I saw all these persons expressing their feelings and their thoughts they are just it felt like they are my thoughts and they came from there and they and they passed me and went over the light and left and then when I look there are still thoughts coming up and that's my journey but they are just passing and I feel nervous and I want to come back to the music session from yesterday it was a very powerful experience for me it was very beautiful to hold the space for my friend and it was very I felt really the presence even if there were voices and all these it was very beautiful to say yes and and then was my turn to sit and I want to when then we had to sit on the chair of the laugh we had to imagine how love looks like and for me came up a volcano you just talked about that but a volcano and there came just light out of the volcano it was like an ongoing light volcano yes and I asked what should I do and I and the answer just let go and then think that they are not so important for me it's pretty easy to let go but then it came to my family and I dropped them also in the light and I think I was jumping also in the light and in the moment I don't really remember them but it felt somehow good now when I tell it and it felt but after the and it was very like just a feeling of the moment perhaps but afterwards they came I tried even to do something and then I just went to my room and I was a little bit lost and then came also this anger and I could just change some words with Kirsten and it helped me just to to find to get the remembrance of the beauty and so I choose just to be in silence and to not to know that there is no need to explain somehow the way or make it complicated or this morning I before the breakfast I was just like praying what what's going on, what's happening and then then I noticed I prayed for transparency and to let go I'm glad you're bringing this up because we've gone through those of questions and one of them was this idea of surrender and you could say surrender you could call a release, you could call it letting go and that's one perspective to look at it but the only thing is that the ego will even try to grab that and that's where the anger comes in if you have a glorious experience of the light and giving the family members over and then yourself jumping into the light and it's euphoric it's so connected and so filled with love that's all helpful because that's exactly what you're praying for you're praying for the light to just like you said to go to the light that's what you're praying for but the ego is the belief in sacrifice the ego is the belief that going to the light will cost something and there's a lot of anger attached to that that there's a cost and so for me I frequently would have to ask Jesus you know help me can you reframe this because I need another way to look at this because whatever this sacrificial belief is it's really it's painful and so he said well think of the ones and he had we bring family members to mind and I felt all this love and another one and he said I want you to take the love that you feel for them and I want you to allow me to help you spread it and expand it beyond them take the love that you feel already and then let's just expand it out further and further and I want you to think of including all these others into that love don't think that you're letting go of love think of yourself as opening to expand to accept the fullness of that love and that's how I really see you Stephanie I remember when I first met you in Finland and you came there and you were just so curious and wide open and the sincerity of just I want to drink of this I want to drink this in I want to give myself over to this and then I remember we did a retreat up there and you said oh my husband's coming to pick me up I want you to meet my husband and so out in the parking area I went and got to hug your husband and then not too long ago maybe it was the springtime that just contacted me and said I want to is it okay I just want to I want to spend time with you I'm open to whatever that is you can if you want to come up to Helsinki it's great or I can come down there and we prayed on it a bit and it's like oh come down and you came all the way down to Mallorca and you just came with all your love taking the dip coming closer to this love and light that you want so what we're asking the Holy Spirit to show us is convince me that in order to love God it's not going to cost me anything that's really what we're asking for and Jesus through all of his lessons and all of his teaching all of his embraces that he gives us is saying God is the love and when you come to God you will experience the fullness of love and what the ego made if God didn't create it no matter how you associate with it no matter how you relate to it it can't be that giving up nothing is too high of cost to pay for remembering your heavenly Father you know that's the context Jesus is giving us whatever you think you would lose by going to God you really need to question that whole belief in what's valuable and what's valueless and so this is a convincing the Holy Spirit has to convince us in order to experience the fullness of God's love which is a love beyond words beyond anything we can imagine this love is so amazing so spectacular but if there's anything that I believe that I have to sacrifice or that will cost me in order to experience that love I need to take a close look at that and I remember I was doing the workbook and I'm going along doing the lessons and wow lesson 132 he says there is no world exclamation point it's just like okay then I go on and say oh it's in my next lesson and and then Jesus says it comes a point in this journey where it's helpful to bring the student back to the practical instead of just all of these high ideals and high ideas it's good to come to the practical and I remember when I was coming into lesson 133 I thought yeah you just said there was no world let's get practical can we come back down thank you for lesson 133 132 so I come into 133 and he says we want to be really practical today so I want the lesson is I will not value what is valueless I said that's good now I'm happy I'm back on the practical lesson so he says it's helpful to give you the criteria so you can learn to tell the difference between what is valuable and what is valueless and I thought that sounds very practical if I could just get that lesson it's going to help so much so he starts off and he said okay here's the criteria if it will not last forever it has no value whatsoever and if it will last forever it's completely valuable that's the criteria this is him getting practical if it will last forever if it's eternal it has value and if it will not last forever it has no value whatsoever and I'm like this is practical this is your criteria you see this is Jesus I mean he really wants us to wake up to that fullness of God's love and so the belief in sacrifice will rear its head it's like the Loch Ness Monster it's going to be swimming under the surfaces and then we have these glorious giving over to the light experiences and then the monster just comes up out of the water its head comes out of the water because this monster is saying no that can't be so in fact the ego is saying yeah you think you're going back to God and it costs you a lot and in fact at one point how is healing accomplished you know Jesus says the main thing you have to remember it is the mind and not the body that is the decision maker so human beings aren't going to decide for heaven it's the mind that has to make that decision what will this realization cost you the whole world you see he's just so direct he's not mincing words this is like the highest of the high of the high of the high just making it really basic and really simple and so that's what we're going through but I would like in your case I think you just have to start to see it as I love my husband dearly I love my children dearly teach me to radiate that love from those that I love so dearly and take it outward stretch it out let me be let me have a really good strong case of Mother Teresaitis where I want to see the face of Christ in everyone in the child I pick up off the streets in the person I meet who I rescue or take into my house I want to teach me how to love in that way the same deep love you feel for your husband and your children let me extend that further and further that's the helpful way to get out of this belief in sacrifice because I didn't want to lose the ones that I love I want to let them be like a beacon of light for me like a harbinger of even a greater love that's to come and I can think of it that way I can think of including more and more in to that love but I could never think of it in terms of letting go you know it came to me not the right approach so I think of it just think of it as an including in you're going to draw this beautiful circle of love you draw it around yourself your children, your husband and then you're going to start taking more and more into the circle and that circle of light this is going to expand and expand as you keep taking more and more in that's an inclusion it's an integrating it's an increase in the way you experience love and that will help wash away this this anger because I know I've been there I know that feeling and you so loved precious oh our time is flying away we'll begin our wind down towards lunch we've got yeah go ahead we've got two we have the time or is the food cooked it's one o'clock but we could have both of you start off our session tonight so everybody can have their lunch while it's warm and cook so you can fully use your time so before we get into tonight's the experience both of you can be there and we'll have our microphone there and we'll pick it up at seven o'clock