 Good morning everyone. Good morning, ma'am. Good morning. Good morning. So as others are joining in Let's start our class with a word of prayer. Can I request one of us to please lead us in prayer? Rebecca, can you lead us in prayer? Yes, ma'am. Hallelujah. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you Lord Jesus. Thank you father Thank you Lord Jesus, Lord. Again we give you thank you Lord that you have given a new day for your children Lord Yes, Lord your mercy is great upon your children Lord and your love is unlimited for your children Lord Yes, Lord you are the you are Lord. You are the good father for your children Lord Jesus. Oh my father You are the good composer. Oh Lord, you are the good holder Lord Jesus You are the hall of salvation for your children Lord Jesus. Oh my father Today we teach from the teachers Lord Jesus. Oh Lord help us to teach whatever she teach to your children Lord. Oh Lord help us to keep the word of your scriptures Lord Jesus. Oh Lord we want your presence of Holy Spirit. Oh Lord from the beginning to ending you guide us Lord Jesus. Oh my father you are the oh lovely father Lord Jesus. You never sake your children. You never give your Oh my father help us Lord. Holy Spirit help us. Oh holy spirit guide us to your children Lord Jesus. Oh my father you have done many things to your children life Lord Jesus. Oh my father you you loyalty your wives your children cry Lord Jesus Oh my father you are the only one God for your children Lord Jesus. Oh my Father help us Lord Jesus. Oh father you are always hearing our prayer and and giving answer from the heaven Lord Jesus. Oh Lord, thank you Father. Oh Lord, you have hear my prayer Lord Jesus. I believe Lord Jesus and give the answer to your children Lord Jesus. Thank you Father. Oh thank you Father. In the name of Jesus I pray Lord Jesus. Amen, amen, amen, amen. Thank you so much. Good morning everyone. Once again, welcome to today's session on ministers foundation. Well, today we're going to study on the topic called family. I hope all of us have downloaded the notes from the stream. All of us have a copy of our notes. The book of code of honor. Yes, pastor. Okay. So family is a God's design. Family is God's design. Family is very important and it is very potential because God has designed it. By the word called family or godly family, we mean that family need to please God in all the ways, you know, from being fearful of God and to serve them together, being there together as a family to have the family alter, developing as an example, the head of the family, the father of the family, developing an example for his family, showcasing God's love, showcasing God's character. So that through which the spouse and the children can experience God's love in them. In that way, we see that family being the masterpiece of God's creation. Because God created, God showed himself with the love of the family. God put together Adam and Eve together and he said, this is my design. So family was God's design. So being that, keeping that in our mind, we will look into the chapter, how as a family, as the head of the family, how we need to take care of a family, how we need to pay attention being the minister, being the ministry leader, being the head of the family, how the man should take care of the family. What are the important areas that we need to keep in mind while we serve God at the same time, how we balance our family. So let's turn to our notes. So for many of us Christian ministry, you know, may not be, maybe this is one of the challenging area for many pastors or the ministry leaders. Maybe it is one of the challenging area to balance the family and the ministry. So as we say, there is a call, God has called me for ministry. There is a call even to the family. There is a call even to the family. That's why God brought the man and women together and he has united them together. So God has put us together. What God has put, let it out man. Let not man separate it. So God has joined, God has brought this family. So as we say, there is a call for us over ministry. The same way, there is a call for us over family. So a Christian family is very important. As a ministry leader, we need to take care. We need to nurture. We need to, you know, nourish and cherish our family. And also at the same time, we need to be mindful of being an example, a good example to our spouse, to our children. Many families we see where the past or the ministry leader would have paid more attention to the ministry and let aside the family struggle. And we see that because the man of God feels that, he feels that the ministry is more important. He feels like if I take care of the ministry, God will take care of the family. This is another kind of understanding what they have. So what is very important here is we need to have a right kind of understanding. If God has put something responsible in our hand, that means what? We need to nurture that. It is our duty to nurture and take care of that. We need to be, we need to learn how we can balance both because both are important. It is something like two eyes. We can't let go of one and we can't keep one eyes, right? We need to learn to balance it. And here today, if we're going to study how important this family, how God is asking us to pay attention to our family about the ministry. So the requirements of a minister, first we can see what is the requirements of a Christian minister. And one of us please turn to 1st Timothy, to the book of 1st Timothy chapter three, verse three onwards, three, four and five. Can one of us please read? Can we all take turn to read scriptures today? So we can keep the session interactive and interesting. And over here then must have, must be above reproach the husband of one wife, temperate, prudent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not addicted to wine or cognatious, but gentile, peaceable, free from the love of money. He must be one who manages his household well, keeping his children under control with all the money. That's it? Till verse five, correct? Yes, yes, it's done. Sometimes the version is different. So that's the reason we may not know where it's done, okay. So the minister, the Christian minister must be, must be one who rules his own house well, having his own children in submission with all the reference for if a man of God does not know how to take care of his own house, how will he take care of the church of God is a question. So as a man of God, as a ministry leader, we need to take care of our family first. So that shows an example. We set an example that, when we have set our family in order, we can also take care of our church and set things in order. So it is not that, if we are the ministry leader or we serve God, doesn't mean that everything will be fine in our married life. They would be upset, they would be challenges, especially if the man of God alone is serving and the wife have to take care of the family. If the man of God had to travel from one place to the other and he's busy in the ministry, here we see the wife and the children suffer. No one to take care. We see many stories like that. I'm sure you're in the first year, but when you'll move on, in the second year, you're losing the leader. How many ministry leaders paid attention more towards the ministry and family lagged behind. There are many leaders who didn't even know that this wife was unwell and passed away. They didn't even know the children were unwell and they passed away. They were not paid attention to. They expected God to take care of them and while they do the world tour and preaching the good news and gospel to everyone, but here their own family was seeking for the love and attention of their father. There are many families who have been separated because of that. Many marriages have been suffering because of this. Children have not even seen the father's face and they've grown. They didn't even get to experience the father's love. The man of God may be excellent in sharing the word of God, preaching the word and getting appreciation from everyone around him, but his own family was not able to set an example for. We need to be very careful in such cases. As we set ourself as an example and share the love of God with others at home between the four worlds, it is very important to show that Christ's love to our family, to our spouse, to our children because they are the one who will be watching us. They'll be looking at our life. Very important to set our life as an example to our children. So here we see in today's lesson, we see that there are three postures in one life. In a person's life, we may come across three postures. Can I request one of us to please turn to Luke 14, 26. Can I request it to take up Luke chapter 14 verse 26? And Rosalind, if you can take up first Corinthians chapter seven verse 29 to 35. And Zellie, if you can take up first Timothy chapter three, verse two, okay, we just read this. We just read this. Okay, maybe the first two verse, maybe Zellie, you can still read again. First Timothy, chapter three, verse two to five. Ma'am, Luke chapter 14 versus? 26. 26. Luke chapter 14 versus 26. If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brother and sister, yes, even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Next. Ma'am, 27 also? Thank you. Ma'am, first Corinthians chapter seven, verse 29 to 35. But this I say, brethren, the time is short so that from now on, even those who have wives should be as though they had none. Those who weep as though they did not weep. Those who rejoice as though they did not rejoice. Those who buy as though they did not possess. And those who use this world as not misusing it for the form of this world is passing away. But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord. How he may please the Lord, but he who is married cares about the things of the world. How he may please his wife. There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord that she may be holy, both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world. How she may please her husband. And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper and that you may serve the Lord without distraction. Amen. One Timothy three, two to five. A bishop then must be blameless. The husband of one wife, temperate, sober minded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach, not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but gentle, not gruesome, not covetous. One who rule his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence, for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God? Amen. Thank you, thank you so much. So what we see in all these three scriptures, all these are there in the Bible and all these are given to us in the New Testament. So what does it mean? Is it contradicting to one another? How are we can, how we can interpret this? How we can apply this in our life? So there are three postures. So Lord Jesus said in the book of Luke, that if we do not hate a wife, children, we cannot be his disciple. And Paul writes in the book of Corinthians saying, the Lord instructs us through Paul that even who is married should live as though he's not married. So that he is not distracted. And again, the same author, same person, writes in the book of Timothy. The Lord instructs us through Paul, the spiritual leader, the one who wrote the book of Corinthians and instructed them. And now he's writing to Timothy saying that you must take care of your wife and children and have the home in order. You have to pay attention to them. Sometimes the ministry leaders pick one of them and they choose to leave all of their life based on that one particular posture or one particular scripture. Or some may decide to hate their family, completely neglect or be separated from the wife and children and say, Jesus gave me this verse, God spoke to me and he asked me to hate your wife and your children so that only then you can be my disciple. Completely they abandon the family. Or they also take up the Paul scripture saying that one who's married should live their life or conduct their life as though he's not been married. So that I don't want to have any kind of distraction and they let go of their family without even thinking that God had united them. They are breaking the covenant of God that they made in the altar saying that during good times and bad times I will stay with my partner. What happened to that promise that you made in the altar? Not even thinking of that word, the promise that you did friend of God and the congregation. Letting go of it due to our personal struggle or sometimes it is for a personal benefit. But just taking one particular scripture. But the three instances are given saying that in the different season in our life we may have to hold on to certain friends but it is not a permanent. The first scripture Jesus says that unless and until you hate your wife and children you cannot be my disciple. If you do not hate your wife and children we cannot be his disciple or that is nothing but give first priority to God above all else is God. Priority should be God. That place, the first place, the first love in any of our life should be God not our spouse, not our children. Here Jesus is talking about our internal position, our heart. The first place in our heart. Where is that? Are you given to your wife? Saying my wife is about everything. My husband is about everything. So God is looking at our heart condition where the scripture says those who worship the Lord we need to worship the Lord through in our spirit. Giving that first love to God. So here Jesus is talking about that first love not to be given to anyone but there are in family life there are different season that we come across sometimes we come across the first like how Jesus said. And the second Paul says that even if you're married you should live as though you are not married. When you're serving in the ministry you should not let go of the ministry saying I'm married I need to give the first priority to my family and I cannot do a serve God. So there are instances in your ministry in your way of life when you're balancing both ministry and family life where certain things you need to sacrifice of your family and serve God. But that doesn't mean you completely abandon your family and take up the ministry but then there is a balance you may have to travel leave your family aside and travel for a month or few weeks but when you come back see to it that you give your full attention to your family. Try to balance it when the time when you're away from your family but your back and spend extra time with your family give your time your personal attention to your wife and kids so that they don't lack your love in the family. And the third is as Paul instructs to Timothy saying that be a good husband to your wife and a good father to your children and keep your home in order. Be mindful that yes you are a man of God at the same time you have a family to provide to take care of take that responsibility as well. Because God has designed this family God has brought you all together God has blessed you with the children who's the heritage. So it is your responsibility to provide for your home and take care of the children. We cannot abandon them. We cannot abandon them it is very important. Sometimes the ministry leaders takes up the extreme case take up one particular scripture and neglect that needs to be avoided. Because as a man of God we need to be a bishop we just read it in first Timothy. How we need to be blameless husband of one wife and children need to be respected. So with that we will move on to the next one nurture our relationship with our spouse. So how do we balance our family and the ministry? We need to ask God. Yes there will be challenges in our family life but then when we ask God when we seek Him God gives us the grace. Gives us the grace to take care. Gives us the grace, the wisdom, the understanding to take care of our family and our ministry at the same time. So can one of us turn to Ephesians chapter five verse 28 and 29 please. Ephesians chapter five 28 and 29. So husbands are to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself for no one ever hated his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it just as the Lord does the church. He who loves his wife loves himself for no one ever hated his own flesh. So what happened in marriage both became one in flesh. So if you hate your wife it's like hating your own self but then we need to nourish and cherish. Yes there would be ups and downs but we need to sit discuss together. You will learn more in detail in the Christian marriage and family. If you have any differences if you need to discuss certain things sit and discuss but come back together. If a man of God is saving the whole world with a beautiful sermon but if he's not able to save his own family, own home, what does it benefit him? So the primary cause for this is that while the man of God is busy nurturing people in the congregation he becomes full time saying that God has given me this opportunity. God has blessed me with a ministry and my ministry is growing. I need to give in more time and I don't have time for my family. So whom are you giving more time to? The church family. As you think the church and the people of the church are important do you also see your own family are the same kind of people even they need you. You may be the pastor of them but you are the only husband and the only father to your children. Even they need your love and your care. That should be a primary purpose. So here we are not telling that you need to completely not serve the ministry but then we are trying to say bring a balance between both. You need to set certain time aside for your ministry and certain time aside for your family. Where you don't take any extremes you neglect the ministry and take care of your family. No, we don't do that. At the same time you should not neglect your family to take care of the ministry. So like many ministry leaders even when we had this campaign for last two to three months in the month of started in the month of May and June where in India we want to support the pastors of the rural areas where they were going through the difficult season due to COVID they didn't have the church and we try to support them so we had some verification process that they need to go through and when we were talking to them they were clearly saying, hey listen I've been called for ministry and I cannot work and I need to depend on God in faith God will yes depend on God and God will take care of everything. And they were feeling so proud they were saying I have even left my family aside to serve God. It was very scary for us to hear certain things. I've left my family aside. I have sacrificed my family in love of God. So what happens to your family? Maybe they are good they are doing better I have sent them to their parents house so that they will take care. And how many children do you have pastor? Like you'll say I have two children or I have three, four children. Isn't that scary? The pastor has left his wife his four children in responsibility of the girl's family and pastors doing the ministry in the rural area. When have you met? When was the last date that you met your wife? It's been few months or some of them said few years. What is your wife doing now? Maybe she's working to take care of herself and the children. Or maybe aged parents are working to take care of the daughter and the grandchildren. Is that right? God didn't ask us to do that, isn't it? God has given us the responsibility to nurture and build the relationship. It is our family. It is my family. She is my wife. He is my husband. I need to take care of them. I need to take care of my children. God blessed me with the children. They are my heritage. I need to spend time. I need to build a future for them. I will not get this time. We need to be attention to that and take care of them. We need to minister to our own family by nurturing and building that relationship with the spouse, with our children. Because you are the only father the children have and you're the only husband that the wife has, spouse has. We need to nurture a relationship with our wife and with our children. Can one of us please turn to Ephesians 6 verse 4? Ephesians 6 verse 4. Ma'am, can I? Yes, please. And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to rot but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. Amen. So as parents, it is our responsibility to bring up our children and training and in the way of the Lord. Very often we see that that the man of God is involved in the ministry, the burden of bringing up children entirely falls on the wife. Or there are certain instances where husband and wife, both are serving in the ministry, then the spiritual nurturing or the nurturing of the children has been given to the congregation. One of us from our church will take care of our children. They will bring them up as we serve God. How can we give that responsibility to somebody else, the church? There are children. We need to take care of them. We need to take turns, to take care of our children if you're in the ministry, if both of us are working. We cannot say that, okay, Lord, I'm serving you. You take care of my family. Okay. One of the instances you've been traveling or both of your husband and wife are going out, you're given responsibility to somebody else to take care of your children, maybe the grandparents or someone in the church for few hours. It's okay. Or a week or two or three days. It's okay. But then on a long run, that should not be the case. Here, we are not talking about instances like few hours or few days, like one or two days. We're not talking about that. But the parents, the godly parents, the spiritual parents, I mean, where the husband and wife are involved in the ministry and they have been traveling the world together, but then their family, the children are been neglected or the children are been given in the hands of a caretaker is not a wise thing to do. Later, what would be the result of it? The parents may grow, as the children grow, they may not be in line with the word of God. The children may go astray. They may go away from what God has asked them to be. So as a ministry leader, we need to nurture our children with the word and be with them to show God's love to them and bring them up in the right way in the way God has called each one of us to be. Because that is one of our responsibility that God has given us to train the children in the way that they should go. That they should grow. So this may not happen by just we instructing them or telling the caretaker to do what to do, what not to do, but then we need to showcase that love in our way of life because our actions are the way we live as much more power and then our words and what we tell them because children will look at us the way we walk in our life. We should not become too busy to give in the time to our children. So what we do is, yes, we both as a husband and wife, we are in the ministry. We have been blessed by two children and I have two sons about, the elder one is about six years and the younger one is four years. Yes, it is a challenge for us to go out anywhere because they are too small. And right now due to COVID, there are no schools. They have been homeschooled. I mean, not homeschooled online classes for the elder one and for the younger one we are just homeschooling. So we take turns to be with our children because they are too small to, I mean, leave them to take care of themselves. Even when we teach at the Bible college, yes, we have a class scheduled in such a way that one of us, we be in online classes and one of us with the children. Even when we go out on ministry, one of us will step out on ministry, one of us will take care of our children. Very rare occasion, it's that we have gone together on ministry for any house visit or any place. Yes, there are certain sacrifices that we need to do, but at the same time we both are serving. We take turns, we see to it that we are there for our children and both of us play the important role in our children. Like, you know, trying to feed them, to put them to sleep, we take turns. It's not like one person doing everything for the children. We need to give in that time. The family, all the time we see to it, all four of us sit together and pray. We work to provide to our family. And can one of us please turn to 1st Timothy chapter five, verse eight. One Timothy, five eight, but if anyone does not provide for his own and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. If anyone does not provide for his own, especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. Very powerful words, isn't it? These are very strong words made by Apostle Paul. If we fail to provide to our own household, they're unacceptable for God. Yes, there are certain instances in our family, I've heard in certain families, they have the tough time financially, or especially in the Christian ministry, when they start the church and the ministry, they will have difficulties, but how they can manage? How they can manage? Yes, God has called you for the ministry, God will provide. Yes, but then God has also given us the wisdom because I've seen many pastors say this God has called me, so I need to wait on faith. God knows that I have, I'm married and I've got children, so God will provide us accordingly. So what do you do pastor? I'm waiting on God. I'm waiting on God. Many instances, as I said recently in the camping, we had an opportunity to talk to many pastors and many pastors, this is what they have said. This is what they have said. God has called me for the ministry and I depend and wait on God. God will provide, the God who provided Elijah will provide us. Yes, that is the faith, but at the same time, we need to work, we need to work to provide for our family. God called me, ma'am, so I cannot get back to work. God has told me don't turn back to the plough. See, they code scriptures everywhere. If I get back to the ministry, sorry, get back to work, God will be displeased and he will punish me if I do that. And if you hear the wife, wife says, ma'am, I'm not well, I'm sick and I go to do the very meager job in houses. Like, you know, she goes because she's not been educated, she goes to do some minimal work in the houses to earn money to provide for the family. What is your husband doing? He's praying at home. He's praying for the congregation. He's praying for God to provide, but he's not doing anything. That was very sad to hear. His own family suffering, they have been blessed with two children, but both the children are unable to go to school because they're not able to pay the fees. I'm praying for God's children in the church or somebody else to come and help me to take care of my family. But I, you know, I depend on God. I depend on God. Do you think all these are right things? We need to depend on God, but God has given us the wisdom. Yes, God has asked you to, God called you for the ministry, you need to step in, but at the same time, till your ministry goes, take up a job. We have seen many matured leaders in the ministry where initial of the ministry, they worked. They worked to provide for their family so that their family is financially stable. They have food on their table and the children are going to a good school to educate themselves. Their family does not suffer. And as the ministry grows, and there's, you know, enough of, you get enough from the ministry to take care of your family and to take care of the family needs, at least the basic needs of sending them to school and your travel expense and your monthly wages are met, then you can quit your job and pay your full time to the ministry. So that's till then you need to work. Till then, you need to take up a job to meet the need of your family, to nurture and provide them what has been needed because family should not be neglected. We need to work to provide to our family. First, you God's purpose as an individual. Can I request Jeffina to please turn to Matthew, chapter 10, verse 37 to 38. Jeffina, Sid, can you read Matthew, chapter 10, verse 37 to 38. Matthew, chapter 10, verse 27 to 28. All things have been committed to me by my father. No one knows the son except the father. And no one knows the father except the son. And those to whom the son chooses to reveal him, come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. This point here may be a sudden shift from the importance of me placing on the family home, his earlier section. And the point we make here is while we maintain the importance in our family and home, we cannot at any point compromise our love to God in obedience to his call. We cannot use a family as an excuse and not pushing forward to the call of God. As we said, we need to have a balance between our family and the ministry because God is called to serve him. At the same time, we need to take care of our family. We need to show to our family the God kind of love. We need to show our family the God kind, you know, God's love to our children. We need to be there to do both. We need to, you know, we need to have this balance. We need to ask God, God, give us the wisdom, the grace to handle both because both should not suffer. If you pay too much attention to your family, then your ministry will suffer. If you pay too much attention to your ministry, your family will suffer. Yes, as an individual, you may have three calls. You need to be as a husband. You need to play a good role to your wife. As a father, you need to take care, nurture your children. And as a leader, you need to take care of your church. All these are interlinked. You cannot separate each one away because these are the responsibilities God has put within you. And we are expected to pay equal attention to all of these roles. We need to strengthen. If any area you are weak, we need to ask God, see God's help in that area. And I'm sure God will give us that strength to overcome our weakness and pay attention to the basic needs in our life. So success in one area will provide strength to see the other areas. When we are strong as a spouse, as a good husband to our spouse, at the same time, it will help us to love our children, take care of them. At the same time, when your family is in good shape and been balanced well, I'm sure you, with that in your mind, you can pay full attention even to balance your ministry. And one of us, please turn to Psalms 128.3. Your wife shall be like a fruitful wine in the very heart of your house. Your children like olive plants all around your table. Thank you. Thank you. So as you have a personal call to serve God in the ministry, at the same time, even your wife will have certain call. We shouldn't pressurize her to do what you want to do. Just because she has married a minister of God doesn't mean that she has to become a pastor. She has to serve along with you. You need to give her the liberty to pursue what God has called her to do. What if her interest is to serve as a doctor in a hospital or to serve as a teacher in a school or anything, as a beautician or any other area what she is interested in, what skill that she is carrying. We need to recognize that and support her and encourage her and allow her to grow the area that God has called her but not pressurize her. As I'm a man of God, you have married to me and you have to listen to me and you have to serve along with me and you cannot take up a different course and go in a different way. We should not pressurize or implement what we wanted her to do in her life than allowing her what God has called her to do so that she can be fruitful in her life. She can serve what God has called her to do and she will flourish in that area. But if you pressurize, she's so much dissatisfied in her life, she's so much unfulfilled in her life. She will be like a sargrapes figuratively, we are speaking here. There will be no joy, no pleasure at all. There won't be any kind of peace at all. So what is the example a spouse will set to their children or as a man of God, what is the example that we set to our spouse and our children that you cannot do what you want to do. There is no free will in the life but you have to listen to me. When God himself does not do that, he gives us the free will. So we need to allow our spouse, our children to see what God has called them to do and give them their liberty, encourage them to do what they have to do so that God's plan purpose will be fulfilled in their life and we can see them being happy, flourishing, growing and together you can do great exploits in the kingdom of God and there's nothing wrong in that. Yes, sometimes it is not easy but then it takes a lot of wisdom and ensure that both the spouses are encouraged to grow irrespective of the calling that God has called us. We need to support each other and be there for each other. But this will take a 10 minutes break and we will come back, okay? Thank you so much, see you back soon. God bless. Thank you. Thank you.