 Hey, Psych2goers. Today, we're going to talk about manipulation. Manipulation is defined as trying to control or influence a person or a situation cleverly, unfairly, or unscrupulously. Whenever we label someone as manipulative, it has a negative connotation to it. But are you a bad person if you are manipulative? Let's find out what the story. Get comfy. Sadie and Jesse had been in a relationship for four months when they first met. Jesse was kind, caring, attentive, and romantic. Sadie felt like the luckiest girl in the world for finding Jesse. They went out on dates every week and many adventures every weekend. Sadie was falling in love. One day, Sadie was getting ready for one of their adventures and asked Jesse what he thought of her outfit. You're gonna wear that? You just wore that two weeks ago, said Jesse. Oh, you're right, I did. I totally forgot. I'll go change. Sadie said as she ran back into her closet. As she changed, she felt a little weird about the whole situation, but decided it wasn't a big deal. Over the next month, Jesse started making more comments like this and more frequently too. It started with her clothes, then it moved to her hair, her makeup, how she went about her day and who she talked to. Sadie's head over heels feeling quickly disappeared and she decided to break it off with him due to his controlling behavior. After the breakup, Sadie asked her two friends, Jenny and Thomas to help her move to make sure Jesse didn't know where she was. However, he showed up on her doorstep two days later. She didn't tell him the new address so how did he know where she was? Sadie realized that only one of her friends could have told Jesse about the new address. To find out who it was, Sadie told both Jenny and Thomas that she was planning on moving out of state due to a job that she had just landed. She told Jenny she was moving to California. She told Thomas she was moving to Texas. She didn't wanna lie to them but she needed to be sure she was safe. Later that night, Sadie's phone started buzzing. When she took a look, she had 10 missed calls and seven texts, demanding she call Jesse and stating she couldn't move to Texas because he wants to work things out. Once Sadie saw where Jesse thought she was moving, she blocked his and Thomas's numbers and made one final move where she couldn't be found. The end. I don't know about you guys but I was a little worried about Sadie for a minute. Let's talk about what happened. Okay, Sadie and Jesse had a great relationship while they were in the honeymoon phase but as the relationship progressed, he began showing his true personality. Unfortunately, Jesse seemed to have controlling and potentially abusive tendencies. Sadie did the absolute right thing by leaving and moving somewhere else but when Thomas told Jesse where Sadie had moved, that was a huge overstep. Sadie had created a boundary but Thomas ignored it. Because of Jesse's actions, Sadie felt so uncomfortable that she thought it was necessary to cut all ties with him and anyone associated with him. When Sadie told Jenny and Thomas, she got a job and was moving out of state, it was a lie. Yes, it was deceptive. Yes, it was manipulative but was she bad for doing so? In my humble opinion, I believe the definition of manipulate gives us our answer. Again, to manipulate is to control or influence a person or situation, cleverly, unfairly or unscrupulously. If we define unscrupulous, it means having or showing no moral principles. This means you have no concept of right or wrong and are just pulling strings like a puppet master to get what you want. A 2006 study found that manipulation is usually used as a substitute for mind control. When someone manipulates, they do so with the intent of changing the way others understand information, create conclusions or decide their actions. In our story about Sadie, she manipulated Jenny and Thomas and in turn manipulated Jesse. However, she did not do this with any malicious intention. She did this to ensure she was safe from a potentially abusive ex and friends who tried to reconnect him with her. Sadie had good intentions when she manipulated her friends. She didn't lie just to watch what happened or to see if Jesse got mad at Thomas. It was for her own well-being. This is also a one-time event that happened to Sadie. Unless she makes a habit of doing things like this, one time wouldn't necessarily get her labeled as manipulative. So what do you think? Do you think Sadie is manipulative or bad for what she did? Is there another way Sadie could have handled the situation without manipulation? Do you have a situation where you manipulated someone for a good reason? Let us know in the comments below. All sources used are in the description below. As always, keep your eye on Sadie for more Psych2Go content.