The Milky Way




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Published on Apr 18, 2011

Application for World Henchmen Organization (WHO) - http://worldhenchmen.org/

by Snout's Serial Crime Lords

Music by Jonathan Coulton
New lyrics by Sean Gugler

fighting crime's supposed to pay
but I could never live that way
prancing round in capes of blue and gold
every morning hate the news
stories full of goody two shoes feeling smug
teeth and fists are clenching

why should these repugnants get the spotlights on the stage
spill my bowl of breakfast as I try and quell the rage
all at once a plan is born I'll form a team today
show these stars the milky way

it won't be easy sifting resumes
(threading through a maze, threading through a maze, through a maze)
finding the perfect blend of special k's
each one obsessed like me intentions firm
(not just any worm, not just any worm, any worm)
on capturing a hero torturing to make him squirm

they'll see us as nuts and flakes
but just until their spirit breaks
and all their bold resistance turns to mush
soon our name will be reknowned
the best for hire in this town
but that's too small why not take them all on

now my crew is known and feared throughout the galaxy
fortresses and bases we'll defend yours for a fee
laser blasters sonic rifles and destructo rays
show these stars the milky way


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