 Well, hey there, how are you guys tonight? I'm super excited that you've joined me and I have a question for you Do you have stuff or does stuff have you? It's an interesting question because when we start thinking about the stuff that we have It's easy to get wrapped up and oh, I've got so much and it's just gonna take so long to to kind of sort through And so we kind of put it off a little bit and then we never to get around to it And it's over the last couple of months in the last couple of years, especially during the pandemic we've been approached by Literally hundreds of families who are going through a difficult time right now because they have not dealt with the stuff that they have and as they Decide that they need to they don't really have a schedule and they don't know how to go about it And so it becomes this overwhelming thing that that causes frustration And so I want to stop for a second And I just want to take a look at kind of the stuff that we have and then I want to figure out Do we need a schedule for it? So tonight's topic is about Scheduling the decluttering process in our homes and I know what you're thinking you're probably thinking I don't want to schedule the decluttering process right that doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun And yet at the same time it could be the avenue to great healthy Happiness and living okay, so I want to stop for just a second And I want to bring to our attention the fact that when we have a cluttered home Oftentimes it causes chaos at an unconscious level and so beyond just normal things like You can't find stuff right it it becomes an issue where you start Going through a room and instead of bringing you peace and happiness You start feeling unconscious feelings of guilt like oh no, I'm supposed to go through this I'm supposed to put this stuff away. I'm supposed to sort through my stuff I'll do it later and every time we put it off We we kind of build up that guilt in our in ourselves to where we feel like we're not worthy of living in a clean house and I do want to attach the Realization that all of us are worthy of living in a clean house It's something that I believe from the day that I started my cleaning business 30 years ago And it's something that I believe to this day And so I really want to draw attention to the fact that we do Have a choice how we live and so if we can all start paying attention To the little daily activities that we have and we work together in a schedule now I have bad news and if you are joining me here tonight and you're only hoping for good news I want to give you this alert Because um, I want to have a real conversation with you tonight and I want you to have conversation with me back So jump in and uh say hi Jennifer's here. Jennifer. Hi. How you doing jillians here? Um, uh, julian says I'm worthy. Yes, that's true. I'm so excited that you said that. Thank you so much Um, the bad news is this there is no one that is going to come declutter for you We get to declutter ourselves There's no one that's going to come clean your house for you unless you pay someone And there's no one that's going to come give you more time Okay, so those are three things that we have to realize that if something's going to happen in my personal life It's up to me. I I get to be that person that takes control of this part of my life And I get to make the schedule for myself Now one of the things that's really interesting about life and I discovered this I don't know how many years ago. One of the things that I discovered was there are Consistently 168 hours in a week. I know it's pretty awesome, right? There are seven days in every week. There are 30 days or 31 days in every month And there are 365 days in every year and that's pretty consistent across the board There are also things that are pretty consistent like the sun comes up every morning and it goes down every night If you live in most parts of the world, right? So there are Systems and there are calendars and there are schedules that life runs off of and if we work with the schedule instead of against it It's going to serve us really well. Now one of the things that we've noticed is when you're born And all parents can relate to this. There's this mad rush to get your kid on a schedule, right? I don't know why but other parents have told us or the doctors tell us keep your kid on a schedule So there's an eating schedule and there's a sleeping schedule and you'll hear parents say things like Oh, we're gonna have to cut the short tonight because I got to get the kids to bed Right, there's a schedule where the kids go to bed and part of that includes a bath time in stories or whatever But there's a schedule and then as the kids get older and they're not infants anymore They don't sleep the same way and they kind of get off schedule And there's this weird toddler two or toddler three age where the kids are going through I don't know Off schedule and they stay up later and they get into all kinds of stuff Then they don't take their naps during the day and they start getting cranky And then they start behaving differently because they're off schedule And then they start going to school and we get them back on a schedule And now they have to get up early at a certain time. They have to eat breakfast at a certain time They now have to get to the school bus on time and they go to school at a certain time They get off the bus at a certain time They come home and all of a sudden they're back on this very rigid schedule And life seems to go a little bit more smoothly, right? Then they go through the teenager phase and what happens they get off schedule again There's nobody like oh, you're not the boss of me Parents are probably going yeah, I've heard that one before And so then what happens is The kids stay up late, right? They hang out with their friends. They come home really late They get off schedule again and every time we get off schedule in our lives Things kind of like fall apart at the seams And it's it's a little bit frustrating because there's really no police that's going to come in and go You're off schedule, right? We have to be our own police And I just want to say hi to all you guys that have popped in we've got coffee ivy We have debbie bolton. We've got marie We've got jennifer marie says I love the end result. I just hate the process of getting there. Oh, I know, right? It's not easy Jennifer says, but what if you keep trying to do that what you can't? So life is not perfect Okay, so everything that we're going to be talking about is going to be a trial and error process It's not perfect And so as we go through this process we get to refine it as we go But here's the good news if we don't start today We're going to find ourselves in the exact same situation year after year after year And like I said no one's coming to do clutter for you And so what does that look like 10 or 15 years down the road if no one's coming? And you don't schedule it in and you don't figure out a way to make it work for you What happens is you're 10 or 12 years down the road and you just have more stuff And you have 10 or 12 years more anxiety and frustration and guilt that you've piled upon yourself at an unconscious level Because we haven't dealt with that So my suggestion and my encouragement is we get to do this Because we can right no one's going to stop us, but no one's coming to rescue us. So we get to do that ourselves Jason says Welcome. I'm so happy to be here Jason. I can't tell you how happy I am that you're here too Thank you so much for joining us and charlie says it seems hard to get started It does it does this is going to be one of the hardest things that you've ever done And thank you so much for bringing that up because what we're dealing with right now is not Easy if it was everyone would do it, right? But the good news is anyone can anyone can do this And so we have to we have to give ourselves permission to go ahead and put it on our schedules Now one of the cool things about when you get out of school And this goes back to that daily schedule that we had Adults get off track. They get off schedule. And then what happens is Stuff happens, right? We have kids. We have jobs. We have I don't know shopping We have bills to pay we have stuff going on in our personal lives And when we get off track all of a sudden things start to unravel again And so one of the things that I want to encourage us today is to create a time As part of every day. I don't want us to think of it as oh, no I have this big huge project that I have to do to declutter I don't ever want us to think of it as a huge big thing. I want us to think of it as Check this out just part of every day. It's like a matter of fact. It's not a big deal It's just part of every day So like you get up in the morning and what do you do? The first thing that you can do is you can make your bed because you're right there And if you have a clean made bed That's going to give the whole overall feel of your room a clean and tidy look I want to highlight for a second when we go into a hotel And people love going on vacation for this reason you go into a hotel and what happens you walk in and there's nothing there Super clean the beds are made Everything is tidy and you walk in and you just have this feeling of like oh, I'm on vacation, right? Your house can be like that too And so what happens is the the less stuff we have The cleaner and the more open our space feels and I'm not saying I don't want you to have nice stuff And I'm not saying get rid of all of your stuff What I'm saying is let's make some new rules about the stuff that you have and let's put decluttering On a schedule So if you make your bed in the morning, that's what a house cleaning task or decluttering task It's really house cleaning and we're going to add cleaning in with the decluttering Now lots of people say well, I can't clean my house until I declutter Well, it's easier to clean it if you declutter first, but it's not impossible And so what I want us to do is I want us to start doing little bits of both Little bits of cleaning and little bits of decluttering every single day Now there are habits that we can get in and some of the habits are Very simple One of the habits is one for me and one for you. Oh, we got a bunch of new people joining us Hang on one second. I'll tell you about that in a second Christina says I'm working on getting rid of stuff. My problem is my dad recently passed away And I have a lot of his things Also, my brother is now in an assisted living facility and I have his stuff too Christina I'm so glad you brought that up because many people right now find themselves in that exact same situation We're in six generations of people inheriting stuff from their siblings from their family from their parents From their kids that have moved out and have gone to school And the kids like left stuff behind or the parents saved boxes of stuff for the kids from when they were young And they were growing up. And so now there's this age where we have to oh, no I have my elder parents to take care of and in this situation It's your brother in an assisted living center And now you have all of this extra stuff that you have to deal with And so the question is can we start adding the decluttering into parts of every day Because heaven forbid we should get to a point where I don't know Maybe your brother comes to stay with you for example And then anything that's in your house that would prevent assisted devices like a wheelchair or a walker or something to get through the house It becomes a trip hazard And then also if we are in that type of a situation It's possible that we ourselves are aging if we're sort of around the same age as our siblings And then what happens when you yourself have to declutter some of that stuff But you don't have the energy or you yourself have to go into a A facility for care, right? So it becomes a really serious issue when we start talking about The time that we have in that certain age What is that golden age of where we have the energy to get rid of stuff? And we have the capacity to you know jump in the car and drive it off to the the donation place Or you know, do we have the energy to do that? So I really want to encourage us to to be thinking in terms of what can I do today? And like I said, it's not a perfect process But you can do something today, right? So, uh, what are the what are the tools and techniques? One of the tools and techniques is I call it one for me and one for you And it's a really easy process many people that are in the decluttering space and professional organizing space use this technique But if I get one for myself, I'm going to give one for you or one for donation, right? So if I buy something new for myself, I'm going to give one away. I buy something for myself I give something away and so it's for everything that you bring in you get then get rid of something The other day I purchased some new underwear, which we just had a decluttering underwear And as I was going through my underwear, I was like, you know what my underwear is like older than five years And I really would like some new underwear. And so I'm going to get rid of the stuff that I have I'm going to buy some new stuff so I bought some new stuff and as it came in I was like well the other stuff is still good And what if the new stuff doesn't fit and I didn't have time to try it on right then So what I did was I left the tags on it And I said before I try the new underwear on if I as soon as I try it on and I take the tags off One has to either go in the trash or or I've got to get rid of it, right? So it's that same concept if you can't get if you can't deal with it immediately Leave the tag on it or whatever until you then wear it and then go ahead and get rid of the other one If you're getting rid of something and you're not sure this is another technique that we use a lot We'll put it inside a bag and we'll put it like right outside the door Or we'll put it like in the garage for example with a date on it 30 days out and within 30 days If we didn't need it if we didn't go get it if we didn't use it we then donate it, right? So we still kind of have it we can still kind of hold on to it And if we have a donation remorse where We didn't really get rid of it yet We can get rid of it. But then we're like, oh, hey, I forgot what's in that bag We already know what's in the bag because we put it out there, right? It's been out there for 30 days. We haven't used it. We haven't reopened the bag It's now time to get rid of it and then give yourself permission to get rid of it Mary says hi. Hi, Mary. How are you? Good to see you Another Mary says here from Connecticut. Uh, happy to find this on now We're so happy that you found it on as well. Thanks for joining us Christine says I don't want my kids to deal this deal with this stuff when I'm gone That I'm glad you brought up that I'm glad you brought up because a lot of kids Find themselves in a situation where their parents have passed away and they inherit the family stuff and They don't know what to do with it and oftentimes it becomes squabbles between families and siblings and relatives and they feel like I don't know everybody should Hang on to it people should get rid of stuff. There's a disagreement. It's stuff It's just stuff, you know what I mean? And families that were once happy are no longer happy because they're fighting over stuff that Had once sentimental value to a person. There's no longer with us So there are a couple of other things we can talk about and one of them is in the um In the vein of decluttering things We don't want to get rid of stuff that has meaning to us without dealing with those emotions and that meaning Because that's a part of being human and that's part of our lives And so lots of people that are in the decluttering space will hang on to stuff for a lot longer because they haven't dealt with those Emotions And there's a really great opportunity that I would like to encourage you to do because there are Lots of comments that I get on a daily basis of people that don't have the energy to declutter their homes And it becomes overwhelming to them when they try to Um take the time To sort through some of that stuff because that means sorting through the feelings that you have that go along with that And so this is a perfect opportunity where we can either ask someone else for help Or we can make a friend to go through some of that stuff with us And I don't mean our physical belongings and have them come in and help us declutter because everyone is on a little bit different page and Oftentimes when we have people come in to physically help us remove stuff from our house They come in and they get rid of stuff that we haven't we haven't addressed yet And if we haven't addressed it yet as soon as the item is gone number one We're going to be sad that it's gone because we haven't dealt with the emotional end of that thing The second thing is once there's a space where the Cluttered item is gone. We have a tendency to reclutter it and fill up that void because we haven't dealt with that So the cool part is if you make a friend You can go walking in the morning. It's a brisk walk You can walk and talk and you can talk through those issues and those emotions and those things that meant something to you with another person They're a listening board. They're a sounding board. I know for me for years There was a woman that lived in my neighborhood and she was a really super busy mom I was a super busy business owner and both of us had really busy lives And we didn't really have time to I don't know go out and hang out and you know Have a cup of coffee and have lunch and all the fun things that friends do But we got up at 7 o'clock every saturday morning and we would go walking in our neighborhood together And we would meet at the clubhouse because we both live in the same neighborhood And we would just go for a fast Brisk paced walk and then we talk about you know kids we talk about school We talk about you know emotional issues and it was just a healthy Activity where we were walking and talking together But then we both came back and had you know a very productive weekend Because we kind of had worked through some of those issues and so Not doing it alone is important being able to work through and talk through some of the issues is really important And being able to put that on a regular schedule is important If you have not joined us over in the hoarding world, we it's a facebook group and it's a support group where we Have conversations on a regular basis And we have accountability partners I'm trying to find there you go This is the link if you haven't joined us already. We'd love to have you join us The thing with the hoarding world is this every saturday there is a donation We have donation saturday where we encourage everybody to Go through your stuff during the week and then on saturday make the actual drop-off This is where the schedule part comes in As a as a person working through some some clutter issues if you will um Having a box up at the top of your stairway Where every time you go through the house and every time you see something like the underwear for example that i'm going through in my closet right now What i'm done with that anything that i'm done with that i'm not going to use whether it's swimming gear It's bathrooms. It's hats coats gloves. Whatever it is. It could be anything during the week It doesn't have to be like a whole item of things It doesn't have to be a lot of things It could be five things. It could be 20 things It doesn't matter but every time you walk through the house and you're like, hey, i'm kind of done with this item Instead of keeping it until like we'll all deal with it later Just go ahead and put it in that box at the top of the stairs or by the front door or by the back door by the garage For example, and then every saturday take that box out just like you would take out the the monday morning trash And so when i say take it out on saturday That is our day in the the facebook group where we go down to the trailer And i say the trailer because usually it's a trailer and you drop off they take books They take clothes. They take shoes all kinds of stuff And they will then reallocate those to other people that need them or there are Associations where they will come pick them up and so if you don't have a drop-off Schedule saturday is a great way to do that come join us in the hoarding world And you can be part of that where we take pictures of our stuff at the trailer or at the at the drop-off To say hey, I was here and I dropped my stuff off So it holds you accountable and you can find an accountability partner where you're then actually getting rid of the stuff But the encouragement then is to go throughout the week and to Make sure that you Kind of have those conversations and you say am I done with this item in my personal life? And that's that's kind of healthy, you know to to get rid of the stuff. We're not using Loana not says what if I never have the energy to go through all my stuff Um, that is a possibility And I'm glad you asked this question a lot of times you won't have the energy One of the very first things that we have to think about when we're starting a decluttering process Is that we're going to go outside our comfort zone our comfort zone is not Decluttering okay, that's our comfort zone and we've done it for a very long time. Therefore we have clutter So it's not our comfort zone This is going to be really uncomfortable and you're not going to have the energy to do it And so when you start something new You have to create a new norm If you've ever noticed in the news in the media when people win the lottery Very shortly thereafter within a couple of years they're mostly broke And the reason being is because they have not adapted to the new norm in their minds They weren't actually wealthy. They just got some money And so that's very similar to us trying to declutter things and we get rid of stuff We have all this dopamine highlight. I got rid of a bunch of stuff But that's not our new norm And because it's not part of our every day daily schedule What happens is we tend to revert back to the old way, right? And so we don't want to go back to the old way. We want to create a new norm It's a new normal way of living. It's the opportunity of living with less Now I don't want anybody to go without I want you to have nice stuff. I love nice stuff I've got some really nice stuff myself and I love the things that I own But we have to ask the question. Do we own those things or do those things own us? And if the things we own own us and we're spending all of our time and our energy trying to protect them and trying to guard them and trying to You know Declutter ourselves from them or unhinge ourselves from them. Then why do you have it? Right. Do we really need that stuff? So you might not have energy to do it But we're going to create the new norm. It's like going to the gym and as soon as you go to the gym Yeah, you hurt. You're like, oh my back my shoulders. I hate. I'm so sore But then after a few weeks by breaking down your muscles All of a sudden you start getting stronger and stronger and stronger and that becomes the new norm And all of a sudden you start being more fit and toned and you have more energy And that becomes your new norm and so during this process Yeah, it's going to be really uncomfortable and like I said, there's no one coming to do it for you So you get to do it for yourself and it's going to be one of the hardest things you've ever done And a lot of people are like, well, I don't like hard. Okay. Well, it might be hard now It's going to be even harder later when you don't have the energy or if you have medical devices that you need to bring inside your home And there's no room for them Or what if you have a whole bunch of boxes and you're not physically able to lift them and carry them out of your house? Or what if you don't What if all your friends move away or what if you don't have the ability to get rid of stuff like you once did, right? The new norm is right now when you have the energy and the capacity to do so So, uh, I know right now at this very moment There are hurricanes that are coming through the whole eastern seaboard And there are a lot of people that are like, oh, I'm going to have to evacuate my homes Well, how sad if you have things that are of value in your homes and a hurricane comes and it wipes out some of that stuff for you You never got a chance to say goodbye You never got a chance to sort through this stuff and to put meaning to it, right? And so instead of having some catastrophe, you know, this happens a lot in california Where there are all these wildfires and homes burned down and then there there are people that are Displaced they don't have a place to live and all of the stuff that meant something to them is gone And so instead of having a natural catastrophe come in and clean house for us Let's let's take the opportunity right now and make those decisions ourselves, right? Because if we add it to our daily schedule It just becomes the new norm and it's not that big of a deal. It's just part of every day And so like we have when you buy something new and you get rid of something It's just a new habit that we've created One of the habits that i'm a really big fan of is when the mail comes in Do you bring your mail in once a week or do you bring it in every day? And the answer is even if you don't sort it every day You can throw out the garbage every day and the things that are Important that you keep can be kept and dealt with once a week I have a post office box for my business and I go pick up my mail once a week Now I never bring anything out of the post office that can be thrown away right there on the spot And the stuff that's important comes home As it comes home It immediately gets dealt with and every single sunday There's a time on the calendar where we sit down and we pay the bills And we go through all the mail and we answer everything that we need to answer Stuff has to get catalogued or put into a system or whatever depending on what it is that comes in Okay, the reason that we do that once a week is because it's really really expensive If you don't if you just have a bunch of bills that pile up and pile up And we don't pay them all of a sudden we go into late fees right and not just late fees But then you have like bounced fees from the bank and whatever I remember one time I was in college And I was tight on money And I was in this phase of not answering my mail because I didn't have the money to pay the bills So I'll deal with it later and I just kept stacking it up and not dealing with it And then my electric bill got cut off So then I was really annoyed and I had to go down to the electric center and I had to write a check When I went to write the check the lady said we won't take your check. What do you mean? You won't take my check. I just got in my car and I drove all the way down here But she said yeah, but you were late Because you were late. We won't take a check from you. We'll only take cash What do you mean you'll only take cash now? I got to go over to the bank and I got to get cash How annoying is that so I went over to the bank to get cash and I came back And then from then I had to wait in this great big line all over again When I came back she said from now on you'll be paying us cash every month And I said what do you mean? Only one time I was late. She said you've lost your privileges to pay us And and at the time it wasn't online, but it was writing a check and sending the check And I lost my privileges and so for the remainder of the time that I lived there And I had that account I had to go down every single month and pay with cash I had to get in my car I had to go to the bank I had to get cash I had to drive over to the place I had to stand in line. I had to pay it It was super inconvenient and I remember saying to myself It's really time consuming and it's hateful to be this broke And it was my fault because I didn't answer the mail, right? So every single time we have a situation where we let it slide and we let it neglect It doesn't get any better. Like I said, no one's coming to rescue us. No one's coming to pay those bills for us No one's coming to sort through our stuff for us. We get to do it ourselves It's part of being an adult part of being grown up. We get to go through our own stuff Um, we have lots of questions coming in. I love this you guys. Thanks so much Joanne says, how do we deal with going into a space and you get overwhelmed or nostalgic and you can't function That is a true question and I love that question because so many times it is So incredibly overwhelming that we're not able to deal with it And so one of the things that I want to stop Everybody has a smartphone in today's society and I say everybody most everybody One of the cool things we can do is we can snap a lot of photos And by taking a photo we can then add it to what's called a dynamic picture frame And this is really cool. Let's say for example that Somebody a moment ago said that their their parent had passed If there were things that belong to your parent And you don't have the the physical space to keep them and you don't want to keep them You can take a picture of that thing like a china hutch for example And you can remember all the cool things that your mother your father kept in the china hutch And how every holiday you would open the china hutch and you would go in with the silver polish and you would polish out All the silver and you and your mother would be chatting while she's fixing the meal and you're polishing the silver It can be this happy moment and you can take several pictures of the china hutch And then every time you see those pictures I will bring back those fond memories of the time that you spent with your mother And instead of just saying oh, I have to hang on to this great big monster china hutch You can let the china hutch go you can sell it in an antique store or whatever you want to do with it But then you can keep that picture on a dynamic picture frame And the cool thing about the dynamic picture frame is it rotates And so as you add new photos they keep popping up on this picture frame So now instead of just having this big china hutch that you're tripping over that you've stashed stuff on top of And that you have this feeling of guilt like i'm not going to remember my mother if I get rid of it You can get rid of it And then you can see pictures of that on the dynamic picture frame over and over and over again for the rest of forever Right, so there are ways that we can consolidate without feeling like we have to hang on to everything and then worse than that Have it in a storage unit Because the storage units right now are also a really big expense for a lot of people and as we head into a A recession if you will The the times are tight and the average american home spends over 88 dollars a month on storage units And it's a 39 and a half Billion dollar industry that's billion with a b every single year And so we look at the the storage unit industry and they're like popping up all over right We're storing stuff that doesn't even belong to us stuff that belongs to kids that have moved out of the house Stuff that belongs to our parents who are no longer with us Nobody's ever going to use that stuff again Um Debbie says we sort uh, we sort the mail the same day. Debbie. I love that That is a great habit to get into and that makes me really happy that you do that Jillian says pictures of treasures are a great idea Yeah, I love the pictures of treasures simply for the fact that they take up so much less space And you can organize them any way you want you can organize them by vacation You can organize them by each individual family member you can organize them by Different phases of your lives like when you were children or when you have children when you had children and they were young Or you can just have them randomly play happy memories throughout the course of your day So it's it's a lot of fun. But I think that's a really great way to do that One of the things that I wanted to highlight Is that oh and we've got a new message here Solo flyer says what do you do when you're too overwhelmed to declutter and you don't have the money to pay for help Let me answer that really quick because That is a really serious issue. There are a lot of people that are In a situation where things have gotten out of control and they don't have the resources because they haven't They haven't I don't know Taking care of the house for a very long time and maybe it got out of control Maybe the priorities had shifted And so now they're in a situation where they don't have the resources And they need the help and they're not physically able to do that There's an organization called the united way and I don't know if you are familiar with this or if you know about this But um 211.org And it is created by The united way and it's basically built up of a whole bunch of volunteers That will Based on what your need is they will help you either send somebody to your house to help you clean Or they will help you declutter or they have access and resources To organizations that have like trucks that can come help you carry stuff away Or they might just be able to help you with counseling and help you get back on your feet as far as what the next steps are And so the call is free It's also a website you can go and you can interact with that If you have extra time or skills or talent and you want to be a volunteer They're looking for volunteers as well But I know that they've personally helped a whole bunch of people that I have been associated with Through the hoarding world and through also some of the families that we've worked with over the last couple of years They are in 1100 communities in 37 different countries So they're they're scattered all over and they have a program for people that are going through Difficult times that need some help and they can help with everything from decluttering To helping you organize to helping you house clean Sometimes they can help you with your utility bills or they can help you Find medical help or I mean there's just a whole bunch of different things They can help you with and so if you don't know about it, please know about it It like I said, it's absolutely free and it's confidential And there are a whole bunch of companies where every year at the end of the year They have tax deductions that they have to have for their companies in order that they're not in a higher tax bracket And so then they'll donate x amount of dollars to the united way for example And so there are a whole bunch of companies that are helping to fund this and also they take donations So if you have some money and you would like to donate to it, it's a really great resource as well But please don't ever think that you're alone because you're not alone There are a whole bunch of people that are going through very similar situations and they are trying to Go through some of the same decluttering process And so like I said, this is going to be the new norm It's going to be one of the hardest things that you've ever done and it's not going to be Um, it's not going to be easy, but it's like going to the gym. That's not easy either, right? Having a family is delightful, but having a family is not easy It's one of the most difficult things that you'll ever do raising kids is one of the most difficult things you'll ever do And so as we start going through the decluttering process It's just an everyday part of our lives. And so we think of this. Oh, it's so much work What does it have to be so much work? It has to be tiny little decisions repeated every day It's the little tiny things you do every day that build Over time, right? It's like interest in the bank You put a little bit of money in the bank and it starts building interest After years that you you have a lot more money in the bank, right? Because it's built up over time And the habits that we create are those It goes along the same premise One of the things that we have talked about Is having a clutter corner and this is a habit that you do and we put this on a schedule And so on sunday, this is a really great time to do this where you've just got rid of stuff on saturday It's now the next week and you get to pick a new topic And so if your house is overwhelming and you don't know where to start It's a really great time to just go pick one item pick one item or one box of things Bring it to an isolated area of your house Where you can stop and take a look at and pull everything out and you can touch it feel it and smell it You can decide if you want to keep it or you want to get rid of it And then it goes back to the use it or lose it philosophy Are you going to use it? Do you want to keep it? And you might you might want to keep everything that's in that box And then the next question is why is it in a box? So if you want to keep it, that's great. Let's pull that out Let's put it into the drawers. Let's put it into use Let's put it out on the on the desk or the bureau or wherever it is that we want to look at it If we're going to keep it, let's keep it. Let's enjoy it. Let's make it a part of our everyday living I've been doing this for the last several years along with some of my clients I think one of the most guilty things is I go in someone's house and they have this issue Like oh, I have all these dishes and I start thinking in my head. Oh, I have dishes too Ha, I should go and get rid of my dishes as well And I go home and the same thing that I just helped a customer with I go through and I pull out my own We did this one day on a cluttered corner on on youtube here Um, we went through cookbooks and I was like, uh, I have cookbooks that I don't use So I pulled out all my cookbooks and I got rid of them right then at the same time, right because Everybody can do this together and it's one of the reasons we're starting to have these conversations So that you might not have thought about your cookbooks. Maybe you didn't think about your underwear, you know And then you start thinking oh my goodness. It's 10 years old. My underwear is 10 years old Why am I still wearing that? Maybe it's time that you get something new and something nice for yourself Get rid of the old stuff. Get something nice Let's really start living by really enjoying the stuff that we have And if we're not going to use it, let's lose it use it or lose it get rid of it And then if you have something that's really nice really enjoy it really get, you know, the most use out of it No, I'm really guilty because I take care of my clothes. I love the clothes that I wear everyone else hates them because they've seen them forever But I take really good care of them and they last forever Well, the reality is Are you are you does it bring you joy and are you are you going to wear it all the time? Maybe after a certain period of time like every five years you change your style or you get rid of the old stuff And you bring in the new stuff. No one says you have to keep something for 20 years Nobody ever told me that my clothes are still 20 years old, but you can get rid of it Okay, there's I give you permission But the stuff that you bring into your life bring it in because there's a purpose One of the things that's really important As we're looking at our stuff is maybe it served you for a period of time And it doesn't anymore, right the thought occurred to me one day I didn't want to get rid of some of my stuff because I really loved it You know, they say if it sparks joy keep it. Well, it all sparks joy. I just really enjoy it all I love stuff and the stuff I have is really practical. It's useful. It's durable You know, why would I get rid of it? This is good But then the reality is Does it still serve you for this particular point of your life? And so for me, it was like an old pair of shoes you wear a pair of shoes and for a while it has great support It's got great art support It supports your posture by having a strong heel to it And then all of a sudden after years of use the treads wear down and instead of standing up straight They're kind of slanted and you walk on the shoes and they don't have the same art support that they once did Or maybe they don't have the same shock absorbers that they once did It doesn't negate the fact that you had a great awesome pair of shoes that brought you joy It's just that they're no longer serving their particular purpose And so even though They once brought you joy Maybe it's time to take those off And get rid of those and get a new pair that has new shock absorbers and new art support It'll support your posture better. And if there's particular phase of your life, maybe you just need a new pair, right? So some of the stuff that our lives Although it's really great may not be where we are anymore I'm having a real tug of war right now with myself over my sewing machine I love my sewing machine and I've loved to sew my entire life. I'm growing up in a big family We made lots of our own clothes. I've always been an incredible seamstress I've loved making my own clothes and as I look back at my sewing machine and my serger I say, you know, I'm not using those I have a couple pair of pants that need to be altered right now And I'm paying someone else to alter them instead of doing it myself because my lifestyle has changed I don't have the time anymore to go sit down at the sewing machine and just spend hours sewing away Oh, and that'd be so much fun. But if left my own devices, there's no one else in the house I'm all by myself. I could do whatever I want. No one is stopping me. No one is interrupting me. I promise you this I'm not going to go sit down on my sewing machine. I'm not going to I have other things to do I got youtube comments to to respond I have other things going on now in my life that are more important to me than sewing And so I haven't got rid of my sewing machine and my serger I bought top of the line machines and they're probably I'm going to say 25 30 years ago and they still work. They're they're amazing machines We've just updated the firmware and the software and I'm in there, you know, they're good to go But that's not a good representation of where I am in my life right now And I try to think into the future and say is there every a time I would sit down And use those again And I cannot honestly think of a time when I will ever have the time to sit down and use them again I cannot think of that time And so I'm like I say, I'm at a tug of war. What do I do? And then I have to ask this question Do I have to get rid of it today? And the answer is no, I mean I have plenty of space. I can hang on from for another 10 or 15 years Nothing bad happens if I hang on to them. And so I've hung on to them this long And so do you have to get rid of something if you don't and you want to hang on to it longer? No harm no foul, right? No one is judging you. It's okay Keep it until you're ready to let go of it right now I'm I'm kind of having a tug of war because I know I'll probably never use them again I probably need to get rid of them. And so it's just a decision that I'm going to have to make Um Linda says this is great. I'm decluttering right now as I listen Linda, I love that. Thank you so much for sharing that with us I love the fact that you guys are working in tandem with us having these conversations Jillian says alterations Yes alterations for the sewing machine, but I probably won't do them myself Like I said right now I can pay somebody to do alterations less expensive than I can if I stop and I take the time And I pull out the sewing machines and I hook up the thread and I sit down and I find the time and I'm not I'm not going to have the time It's going to be easier for me to outsource that at this point And so again, that's my new norm. That's where I am right now Fran says it helped me say I deserve it when I decluttered my linen closet I was using this Snagged stained towels when I had brand new ones in the closet and I gave the old ones to an animal shelter Fran, I'm so glad you brought that up. Um, it's really weird I went through the exact same thing I had a whole bunch of guest towels that only were used when guests came and I was using these They were fantastic towels, but they were all mismatched. I had like a red one and a blue one and a green one And they didn't match the bathroom and they were just kind of all mismatched and I decided one day I said, you know how long it's been since we've had company come and stay with us It's been a long time And I would probably buy new towels for the guests if they came now I'd like to take all the guest towels and put them into the bathroom Makes those be our everyday bath towels And so I did I took all of the old towels out And I actually put them in a box that we would use for moving for example If I'm moving stuff or I'm hauling stuff that I need like extra packing or to protect something And um, all of the nice towels then went into our rotation in the bathroom And the cool thing is all the towels now in the house match And so they all the towels on all the racks they all match. Everything looks nice. They're thick. They're cozy They're comfortable and when I get out of the shower instead of using an old one That was maybe I mean, they were good towels too, but you know more threadbare than the new ones We got the nice big cushy ones that you know, it's just it just brings an extra little tiny moment of joy to the day But what can you do every day? What can you do every day to declutter? Can you do a little tiny bit as you go to put a mug in your kitchen cupboard? Ask yourself this question. Do I use this mug? Is this a regular mug that I use and if yes it is and you go to put it back in the cupboard And you see hundreds of mugs in there that you don't use pull a couple of them out Put them in that box that's by the stairs or the box that's by the door Just get rid of a couple. You don't have to get rid of them all just get rid of a couple Can you get rid of a couple things that are inside your cupboard that maybe you didn't know were there So you wouldn't you bought another one this happened to me. I um I needed a cheese grater and they have these cheese graters They're kind of tall and they have four sides and you know, you have great cheese on them. They're metal and I um I couldn't find it and I'm like, I'm sure I had one So I bought another one and then I used it and I put it away and then maybe I don't know a month later I was like, I thought I bought one, but I can't remember So I bought another one. Well, lo and behold when I cleaned all the cupboards out one by one I found that I have four cheese graters. I had four. I'm one person. I don't need four cheese graters I only need one at most right but because I wasn't organizing because it didn't know where it was I didn't know where it was so I kept buying new ones. Has that ever happened to you? You couldn't find something so you bought a new one and then later you found you had multiples And now you have to make a decision. Which one are you going to get rid of? I got rid of all four of them when I bought myself a really nice cheese grater and it goes in one spot And that's the key I started putting stuff in one spot when I was done It didn't matter how inconvenient it was I started putting stuff back in the one spot And soon everyone in the family knew where the one spot was because it does no good whatsoever to declutter anything Or to get rid of anything if everybody doesn't know where the one spot is Because other people will buy stuff like I don't know in my house You know the uh measuring tapes they could get a measure how long something is We don't use them a lot But we bought one and I didn't get put away properly and so then somebody bought another one And it didn't get put away properly and it got shoved in a drawer or something And then we bought another one and finally as we started pulling them out we said stop everybody Where are we going to keep the measuring tapes? There has to be a new rule in the house What is the new norm for the measuring tapes? We said let's put it inside this one drawer out in the garage All of the measuring tapes doesn't matter where you use them How you use them when you use them they go out inside that drawer in the garage when you're done Okay, all the rules say the measuring tape goes in the drawer And so the whole entire family agreed this is where the measuring tapes go Well the other day a guy came to repair the microwave in my house And he said do you have a measuring tape? And I said I do I know exactly where it is and I ran onto the grudge within seconds I had the measuring tape boom here it is There were actually like four or five of them in there But I knew exactly where they were because the whole family now keep it in the exact same spot So when you declutter every single day what I'm talking about is not ripping stuff out of your house Making big piles and then it being overwhelming so you can't deal with it What I'm talking about is making a new rule the new rule can be something as simple as Where do we keep the measuring tapes? And then go put all the measuring tapes there and then here's the cool part Whenever you're cleaning the house or decluttering stuff and you run across a measuring tape Holy smokes. I know where that goes and you take it back out to the garage and you put it in the second drawer Why because that's where it goes And suddenly you know That's where it is now you can stop buying measuring tapes as you need them because you know where the ones are that you have Right, this is what I'm talking about put on a daily schedule Everybody do something and you don't have to plan for it Do it as you go as you go the rule is if I buy one of these I get rid of one of these Right, it's a rule. It's a new part of our new norm And so then every time we buy something you can even be in the car on the way home You're driving home listening to the radio and you can be thinking okay I just bought a new pair of shoes That means I got to get rid of a pair of shoes. Hmm. Which pair of shoes am I going to get rid of? Which pair of shoes do I like the least if I get one in and I let go of one Which one am I going to let go of and then when you get home And you bring the new one in run at the same time and go get the other one And get rid of it put it in that box that goes on the by the stairway or by the the garage door Right, this is how this works. It becomes part of our everyday living I don't want decluttering to be this big thing that consumes your time and energy I don't want that for you I want it just to be like a normal everyday part of your life One in one out, right? And now many people have a challenge with buying stuff They buy stuff they don't need and I want you to stop that If you don't need something and it's not part of what you're doing right now, don't buy it You can always buy it later the stuff that we've consumed in our lives It's not going away all the same stuff is available that was available five years ago ten years ago even more stuff is available Right stuff is not going away. You can always buy it So ask yourself do I have to have it today? And if you don't well, don't buy it today. Can you wait a few days? I have a rule for me. This is my personal rule and it's a great decluttering rule If I haven't shared this with you, let me share this with you now. Okay. This is a really great rule When you want something and this happens. It's like, what do you call it? Compulsive buying where you see something and you didn't need five minutes to go And now you can't live another five minutes without it. Like, oh, I gotta have that Ask yourself this question Can I go 21 days without this item? Can I And it takes a lot of self-discipline and the answer is yes, you can because guess what you just went 21 days without it Can you go another 21 days? Of course you can So go 21 days without it if there's something you really have to have and you wait 21 days Here's what happens. You can go through a whole bunch of Biarrhythmic swings you go through different moods you go through different phases of hunger and being full and being lethargic and feeling fantastic And all of the different moods that we buy stuff in you will go through while you want this item At the end of the 21 days if you still gotta have it and it's still top of mind You figured out a way to pay for it number one Number two, you've probably justified the purchase already inside your head Or to your family or your spouse or your business or whoever it is that you got to buy this for You've probably already looked and found the best pricing You probably have already checked out the warranty or read the ratings interviews And now you're making an educated buying decision at the end of 21 days And you probably have saved enough money to pay for it Perfect example this image behind me I was gonna I was gonna buy For my youtube show when we started the youtube show five years ago And it's actually a stretch fabric trade show display And when I saw it I was like, oh, I gotta have that because I didn't know how to make green screen work. In fact, I still don't I was trying earlier today to make green screen work and I still don't know how to make it work But I wanted to have a cool backdrop. Okay, so for me it was like I gotta have that Well, it was expensive And it wasn't money in the budget because I didn't budget for a trade show display like who does that, right? I didn't And so I said, well, let me wait 21 days and see if I still have to have it Every day I thought about the trade show display every day I thought what how cool would it be if I had a trade show display that had this picture on it That all I had to do is stand in the front of it and I could use that as like the backdrop for my youtube show How cool would that be? And at the end of 21 days, it's not the the desire had passed the desire was stronger than ever Not only did I want the trade show display, but I figured out where to get it I figured out the best price I figured out how to get the picture big enough so that it would print properly I figured out the company that was going to print it for me and I started thinking through different things Along with the backdrop. I needed lighting. I needed a camera. I needed a microphone I needed all these other things and so in the process I started thinking, you know How much is that going to cost me and how long is it going to take before I make the money back? And I started working through all these different scenarios in my head And I created the show and I thought about it for hours a day And when I was out jogging in the morning I thought about it and I thought about it because to me it was going to be the next phase of my business And instead of just randomly buying something compulsively and saying oh, I hope this works out Oh, that didn't work out. Let me buy something else and just cluttering the house with all these weird random things I ended up buying stuff that I've used every single day for the last five and a half years every single day Oh wait, I'm using it now Check it out. Do you see what I'm saying? If the thing that you're wanting Stays at the top of your mind and it's important to you You're gonna you're gonna figure out a way to pay for it, but you're gonna use it You're gonna appreciate it. You're gonna make it a part of who you are, right? I swear this thing is a part of me now. It's just I don't know. I see it and it just brings me joy Yes, cleaning supplies. It brings me joy. I know how crazy is that, right? But the the point that I'm trying to make is As we go through our lives There's stuff that comes in to our lives like the stuff that we've inherited from family and friends or kids or whatever And if we don't Make a conscious decision about that And if it doesn't become part of our daily activity where we're going through that stuff on a regular basis And we're sorting the mail and we're dealing with it And we're sorting the clothes and dealing with it sorting the dishes and dealing with it What happens is that becomes our new norm the overwhelm of stuff becomes our new norm That becomes who we are and then when we try to get rid of that stuff We have all these feelings of guilt and shame and it's just clutter and it's so draining And it is it's really draining to have a house full of stuff that you don't use Anyway, there you go I've got lots of questions that have come in and I'm I'm hoping that we can we can answer most of these This was Fran telling us about the the awesome towels. Thank you for that Hellena says keep the sewing machine You know, I'm having a hard time with that. I might I might keep it for a little bit longer Uh bunny bubs says can you provide a number name and email to the particular united way health? Yes It is 211.org You can go to their website their phone number everything is there 211.org It's very easy to find and they're like I said, they're helping all kinds of people. Please. Please give them a call Jillian says good for you fran Fran says I went through the exact same process You know what you guys we're all going through this together. This no nobody's going through this alone We're all going through this together the entire world right now has gobs of stuff like I said the the storage unit industry Is a 39 billion dollar a year industry We are we are not the only ones you and me and fran and hillena and bunny bubs We are not the only ones that are dealing with this right now We are all going through an excess amount of stuff And if you live in america, I don't know why but we are consumers We consume a lot of stuff and it's becoming an overwhelming part of our lives Please let's not make this the new norm. We don't need all this stuff We can get by with a whole lot less And one of the challenges we have is working with professional organizers and house cleaners We're going inside people's homes and people like we need more shelves. We need more storage units We need more boxes. We need more we don't It's so much easier to organize the stuff you have if you have less Let's get rid of the stuff that we don't use. It's like the old shoes Let's take them off and set them aside and donate them and get rid of them And let's use the ones that we have one of the coolest concepts I ever found was to go shopping in my closet and inside my pantry And so, you know, do I need something? No, I need I need something. What do I need? I need new clothes. Great. Let me go inside the closet and see what's new What is the newest of the things I have and I'll go shopping and I'll find a nice pair of pants I'll find a nice shirt. I'll find some nice socks and nice shoes and then I'm like, look at me I got a whole new outfit. It was all in my closet I just haven't been wearing it, right? I go inside my pantry. I'm like, hey, what can I eat? Oh, look, there's all this food. How cool is this? I can make a meal out of all these weird little things that I have in my pantry I don't need to go to the store. We have a tendency to think only new stuff counts It doesn't. Lots of us have new stuff. I can't tell you how many times I've gone inside people's homes to help them declutter We're pulling out stuff that once brought them joy And it still has the tags on it. They've never used it. Never worn it And so what was the thrill buying it and getting the quick dope? I mean, I'm like, hey, look I accomplished something. Did you know did you know that one of the reasons people buy things Is because of the dopamine high and the trickery of saying, oh, look, I have something to show for my time and effort I bought this stuff. This was my progress for the day And they've attached their progress to the physical tangible items they can show for what they did I went shopping and I bought this stuff. This was my accomplishment for the day What? Go create something don't consume something be a creator not a consumer, right? You have choices This is a this is a world of opportunity where you can create cool stuff every day Create something cool and I say create something cool. I'm talking about like intellectual property Create images and create stories and create blogs and create things that inspire people Create stuff that makes other people feel good. You don't have to just consume stuff to Feel like you accomplished something. There's so much more to life than that Anyway, lots of questions here Joyce says Joycey says I have three egg slicers Joycey you and me are twins. We need to go through our our cabinets together and find all of our duplicates Julian says I write down kitchen items sometimes Yeah kitchen items write it down write down what you have Oh, one of the coolest things like most people have a kitchen cupboard Open the kitchen cupboard and just make a list of the stuff that you have take inventory And if you're not sure you can you can make a list It's really great, especially if you have other family members and they don't know where stuff goes Here's where the pizza slicer goes. Here's where the ice cream scoop goes You don't need five or six of those in and all the different drawers. Just one will do You know, where do we keep the scissors? Where do we keep the scotch tape? Where do we keep the the what do you call the Electricians tape there's some weird stuff that every household needs a can of wd-40 and a roll of duct tape And I don't know super glue every house needs a few weird odds and ends, right But make a list and so that if people are not sure they know right inside that kitchen cupboard right Below or right above where do you keep the car keys? Right right in that kitchen cupboard There's a list of all the weird odds and ends that are in the house and people will go Ah the measuring tape it's in the second drawer out in the garage, right? And then no one will ever wonder again and people won't be putting stuff in the wrong space because they'll know uh, so Susie said I like thin towels easy to dry between my toes. Okay. Well, um, that's awesome No one says you have to have thick towels, but nice towels At least you have the ones that work for you and that's the important thing um PJ says this sounds terrifying This is this is this is gonna be a tough thing. Okay going through your stuff I'll putting it putting the the organization on a schedule It's gonna be one of the hardest things you've ever done And like I said, I'm not here to scare you But I'm here to remind you that no one's coming to rescue you No one's coming to declutter your house for you. No one's coming to clean for you unless you pay someone And for the most part we get to do it ourselves And so instead of being terrified by instead of like, oh, no, I have to do this big thing Let's just make it a daily part of every day Every time you walk through the the house if there's something that's out of place ask yourself. Am I using this? Can I lose it if I'm not using it use it or lose it right? Can I get rid of it and if the answer is yes, then get rid of it? All right, um, I'm looking through our questions here. Um I'm hoping I didn't miss anything If you don't know now, you know, I love that name. Yay. It's garbage pick up in the morning. Thanks for posting this I'm gonna fill a can So guys our time is up for tonight. This was really fun hanging out with you guys I've really enjoyed these kind of conversations that we've had we're gonna meet again next Thursday at the same time We're gonna cover a bunch more stuff But one of the things that I want to do is if you have questions or comments You're not alone. You're really not alone come to our hoarding world group There are A bunch of people that will help you. We clap for you. We encourage you. We want to see you before and after pictures None of none of us are in this alone There are everybody from people from all walks of life Every socioeconomic group Every age group has joined us Really popular from, you know, teenagers all the way through Seniors that are in their 80s Everybody's going through this right now. Everybody has a surplus of stuff And I don't I don't want anyone to feel overwhelmed and like you're trying to do this alone because you're not We're all in this together And so come over and join us come over and find an accountability partner And I will see you again next week same time same place Thanks so much for joining me tonight because I had a lot of fun with you. I'll see you guys soon