 Even the fresh and fits are part of the solution. And I'm critical of them. I'm absolutely critical of them. Anybody who's watching even my stuff, they know that. However, I think there are gonna be growing pains, right? That I think there are like solution doesn't happen overnight, especially for a problem that took decades to really set in and to really calcify. Listen, it's the message right here. Black boy, tell me how you really feel. Cause I just wanna build with you. Black girl, tell me how you really feel. I wanna keep it real with you. I wanna live better, eat better. I wanna love better, sleep better. Yeah, I wanna feel so aligned. Sometimes when you do talk to a woman, it's kind of hard when you're in a relationship in general to kind of come to somebody with something. They love you. So it's kind of hard not to take it personal. It's like, dang, I thought I was doing good. And dang, now you're telling me that I'm not doing this and this and this and that. So it will hurt them. It's not that they necessarily feel like you're wrong for your feelings. It's just like now they're internalizing it. And now they're sitting here thinking like they're not good enough. And depending on the type of person it is, it's either gonna be an argument or it's either gonna be a shutdown. Thanks. So, but it is not that other persons, let's just say it's not that woman's fault that you're not able to articulate. That's something that you will have to work through because you're gonna have to be honest at some point. Other than that, you can't put the blame on her because you're not telling her anything. If you're shutting down and you don't know how to articulate, you don't know what to say. You're not sure what you're feeling. That's gonna be something you need to figure out for yourself. Because if she don't know, then what can she do about it? This is what I'll say. This is what I'll say. Because this is the reason why I do this, right? The unfortunate reality is that, so for instance, my daughter is a year and a half and she's already starting to babble. If I had a son tomorrow, I doubt he'd be babbling as much as she is at this age. Women are built differently. I have a son, he would. I ain't gonna tell you when you start walking. On average, and I think this speaks to our strengths and weaknesses as men and women, but on average, women are earlier communicators than men. Women are more nuanced communicators than men and women are networked in communication earlier and longer than men on average. I think they did a study and found out the average woman says 10 times the words that an average man says. Like a cold day sometimes without talking. And that's foreign for most women, right? So with that being said, I'm not saying we shouldn't encourage men to become better communicators, but in as much as as a man, especially a black man, I must have grace with certain sensitivities and certain deficiencies that my woman might have. Like I must pay homage to like, this hair joke ain't gonna land the same way with a black woman, given the history, given the trauma, given the social climate, this skin joke ain't gonna land as well. There's certain things I have to be sensitive about. Similarly, my whole campaign has been to encourage women to have some semblance of grace with men as well, to understand he's not gonna communicate like your girlfriend or like your mom. He's not going to necessarily put things in the best way, but can you create an environment that empowers him, encourages him, and incentivizes him to do the best that he can do. And can you commit to learning his communication? Just like we have to learn, y'all. And part of the reason, like I said earlier, so many men do not feel loved is because the idea is that I have to come to the table with a shit ton of value or I'm not even gonna exist in your eyes, but you are just valuable just cause. Therefore, I have to continue working for you, but you never have to earn me. I feel like I agree with a good bit of what you said I definitely do. And I think that's gonna be more on an individual level, though, then because you have different, I guess I'm just looking at my experience, men do communicate different from women, but then you also have men that, they're different from each other just in general. So, if you're with a particular person, both of you all should be learning each other or whatnot, but I do still feel like, I do still feel like you have to do the work and work on your own communication, but I feel like a woman, when we come into a situation, I don't think like we're just valuable just cause unless he's just looking at you for your looks and that's just what he places the value on. And if that is what you got into that situation for, then that's pretty much what you're gonna get, it's just the vanity of it. So. Just like the woman with the rich dude. Yeah. Cause if that's the type you're going for, then don't expect too much depth. So, it comes down to our choices. I agree. For me, I have to look at the big numbers. Primarily because, and this might sound like a cynical man's statement, but people aren't that different. I've interviewed hundreds of people, hundreds of men, hundreds of women, are there like uniquenesses to them and like different stories? Absolutely. But when you put them up on the board and you start pulling out word clouds and shit like that, black men typically are saying the same thing or they feel similarly about certain subjects. Black women are saying the same thing and they feel similarly about certain subjects. And I'm talking about across socioeconomic, ages, even damn their sexual orientation even. Like there is some sense of one band and sound. Unfortunately, it's with counterproductive aspects of our culture. But with that being said, a lot of these things that I'm hearing from men, a lot of these complaints that I'm hearing from men are consistent across the board, even from the men who chose good women. You see what I'm saying? So I'm trying my best to, because that's my gift, is being able to articulate these things that seem simple sometimes, but really not. But I don't think our women fully understand how much their actions affect our esteem as men and our sense of purpose, our sense of value. And I think that's what leads to some of these save yourself movements and things like that. Because the reflex when we hear a woman who's had bad experiences, the sympathy is, oh damn, your dad probably wasn't shit. You know what I'm saying? And if he was a better father, you would have better outcomes. But the reflex for men is never, your mom is probably not shit. It's you don't like yourself and it jumps to insult. It jumps to shame and the guilt and the, you know what I'm saying? And I think that's why a lot of men have come to the conclusion that, yo, they really don't love us, bro. That's how a lot of men feel. Unfortunately, I'm just giving it to you how it is. A lot of men feel like, yo, y'all really don't love us outside of what we can do for you. I'm as good as my ability to keep you entertained or to keep you coming or to keep you fed or to keep you, you know what I'm saying, decked out in the latest fashion or the latest jewelry. But outside of that, you don't really need me or you feel like you don't really need me. And you take every opportunity to tell me how much or how unnecessary I am. And it's not you. No, I know you're not talking about me. I guess I'm just listening. I know you're not talking about me because I guess I'm trying to understand. The reason I asked the age group is because I guess I'm trying to fathom, I think about where I am at my age and maybe how I thought 10 years ago, it's not the same. So I always wonder like, what are the ages of these people? I don't know. I guess all of that just, just kind of. It sounds shit to me. But to me, but it's like what because there's, like you said, there's complaints on both sides. But the problem is, we're constantly complaining without solution. It's just the point in the finger. Like, what are we gonna do? So I think the system, I think it's bigger than just us. It's a lot of stuff we fight as black people in general. So I think we need to hone in and really learn in general where all of this trauma is coming from in us. Like we do have trauma on individual levels, but it's deeper than just an individual level. So, but where the conversations I see are just finger pointing and it's exhausted. And so that's why I don't really, I kind of exit a lot of those. I will say this because, you know, according to YouTubers, I'm a hotep. Like so, you know what I'm saying? I'm coming from the pro black. I'm coming from the white man. The, you know, I'm coming from that angle. But what is a fault? No, that's a fact. But for the sake of keeping this conversation on the ground, cause that's why I get in trouble. I start talking about Marcus Garvey and shit like that. But for me, I think we have to maintain a proper understanding of what we're seeing happen so we don't remain reactive. And what I mean by that is, men just got the mic. And because they just got the mic, I wish it wasn't the case, but there's going to be a period of, let these niggas let their hair down for a second. Let them, let them, let them get their rocks off for a second. I think it's more of how they're doing it. Like some of the podcasts, it's just like, and even if like, it's like one, and I don't watch it, but I see the clips cause sometimes I see other YouTubers and they might talk about them or whatever. I cannot remember their names, but well, they have certain type of women on that show. But even with those first, that's the one. And it's just like, even as, why you can be upset with whatever, but why are you so disrespectful in your tone and your approach? Why are you as a woman sitting there letting him talk to you like that? But I don't get those type of men like, and then you look at the type of women they have on the show, what are you mad for? Do you see, do you see what you're attracted to? Like- I agree with you. Like, I don't understand. And I think that's the thing that I see. It's just like, you're mad at all women because a certain type of woman that you desire has done you wrong and now you wanna blame all women. And women do the same thing, you know, they've dated a certain type of guy. I appreciate you saying that, by the way. No, it works both ways. It works both ways. They dated a certain type of guy and now all men. Like I think, growing up, I never took it literal that all men ain't shit. Like I've said it jokingly, like these niggas ain't shit. When Kai is on, don't trust no nigga. When that come on, I know all the words. But I know that's not real life. I'm F-I-E. That's the new one. But that's not a bad song. She's just talking about how, isn't it like the dude was cheating and now she free? I don't think that's a- Your guess is good as mine. I don't know, but no. It's nothing wrong with expressing how you feel. But if you think for a second that any respectable black woman is gonna listen to you in that tone of the way you're speaking, she's not gonna be receptive. Like we don't listen the same way. Like I always say, don't handle me like a man. Not a man. Don't talk to me like you don't talk to your homeboys. Don't handle me that way. Like it's different. We're different. So you have to take a different approach. Talking to me like all that raw stuff, pipe down. Cause I'm not gonna be receptive to that. To me, that's borderline abusive. Like don't talk to me like that. So I feel like that's the problem with a lot of these podcasts. Men, you can have your little stripes or whatever it is against women that have done you wrong. But maybe you should come with a different approach. Maybe the approach should be more of a resolution approach. And it's not saying it gotta be like, oh, come by y'all and we, but cause, you know, things can get a little intense depending on the topic. But all that raw raw stuff, I ain't trying to get it. To answer kind of like, you know, cause I'm a solutions oriented hotel, right? And, you know, from like a high level perspective, as weird and paradoxical as it might sound, even the fresh and fits are part of the solution. And I'm critical of them. I'm absolutely critical of them. Anybody who's watching even my stuff, they know that. However, you know, I think there are gonna be growing pains, right? That I think there are like, solution doesn't happen overnight, especially for a problem that took decades to really set in and to really calcify. So I think it's important for us, the people who can see the big picture and see that it is actually the white man. It's not you. It's not me. You know what I'm saying? To understand that, okay, there is gonna be a period of men using this time irresponsibly. However, how can we propel, how can we encourage the ones who understand the importance of this period, right? Because my goal and my little part of playing this is to start conversations and to model how to have them effectively. Because from my perspective, if we can only do that as black men and black women, we'd be all right, we'd be all right. Because right now the profit model is based on us bickering back and forth. The profit model is based on you thinking you don't need a man. Because guess what? I can make more money selling two houses to two single people than one house to a family, right? And a lot of us don't recognize that and we go celebrate being a fuck nigga free and go celebrate being, you know what I'm saying? A single bachelor and this, this and that without understanding the big picture. But I think we're moving, it sounds weird, but I think we're moving in the right direction. And as long as we can keep the main thing, the main thing, the main enemy, the main enemy, as long as we can talk to each other with grace, which is what I'm trying to push, that's my message. That's my solution. And as long as we can have this dialogue, this particular dialogue in the proper context, because our gender dynamic is very different from white peoples, you know? So their manuscript doesn't apply to us fully. And the feminist movement doesn't apply to black women fully because there's a lot more context there. So I think if we can at least do those things in some years, it's not gonna be tomorrow. Whether or not it's a marriage thing because that's another conversation, that's another can of worms. But I think we can rebuild our relationships, our ways of viewing one another, our mother-son relationships, father-daughter relationships. And that is gonna be the core of us doing anything worth a damn as a community. Yeah, yeah. I do believe we have to have compassion for each other. Absolutely. Definitely, because we all, as black people, go out in this world and get beat up by the sister. You know, it has been fucked up for black men. Definitely. But it hasn't been great for us either. It looks that way because you could say, you know, people say, well, women are more educated or whatever it is. I don't know the stats, but, or becoming more educated now than ever. But a lot of that was out of necessity. Like, what are we supposed to do? Sit around and twiddle our thumbs, you know? You have to, you know, you have to progress. You have to, in life, you have to pivot sometime. And instead of sitting around just waiting, you have to take the lead, sometimes just as a person on your own. How we can work together. Like, I mean, I blame white people, but I just, well, let me not say that. Yeah, we would say it's a safe place. It's a safe place. Yeah, but the history, you know, it plays a lie. And I wish people would just really, truly acknowledge that. And yes, although the history plays a role, we do still have to do our own part because we can't depend and wait on them. They're not going to do nothing for us. So knowing that this whole beating down a black woman and lifting up because I didn't know this was a thing until I got on TikTok. And I was like, oh my God, there are really black men out here like up in these white women and down in like legit, like no shame. It's like, if that's what you like, but do you really have to? Have you seen the flip though? The flip side? The divestors? I, you need to go, you need to go see what they're doing. I'm trying not to get that. You need to go see what they're doing. You think we bad. You need to go see what they're doing. I don't want my algorithm. You want to protect your digital piece. I understand. I don't want my algorithm to go that deep. Like even on YouTube, there are certain YouTube people that don't show their faces that I kind of had to. It's a young lady who said, you know, black women need to abort black boy babies. Specifically, if you know you're about to have a boy get an abortion. It's another group that they were talking about how it turns them on to see a black man man handled by the police. Wow. No, it's deep. I don't want to see, I feel like, I don't want my algorithm to go that deep. Okay, so let me ask you this and then we'll close out. Talk about, you love black men, right? Yeah. What do you love about us? Besides the physical. Talk about the weak one he hits, man. I love black skin, like I just love, I just love the skin. I love the uniqueness of black people. Like we don't all look alike. We have different features sometimes based off where you from and different things like that. That's the physical part. But to me, black men are strong. I don't think they realize how strong they are sometimes because of what society and the media likes to perpetuate and different things like that. I feel like they're more resilient than giving credit. The ones that at least, even the ones that sometimes get caught up in the system, unfortunately, you have your bad seeds, but overall, I think black men have a resilience about them that I think they should recognize and because they've gone through a lot. They've gone through a lot being beaten down in front of, and maybe not, of course, you in particular, but just in general in history and stuff, like you've been beat down in front of your wives, belittled to be, well, we all were considered subhuman, but to just do that in front of your family, emasculated, yeah, by those people. And it's just like, and still you keep going. Like, you keep trying, most of you, I do believe most keep trying. This might sound small, but it's just like, it's a swag about a black man. It's just something about the energy that he exudes. It's just a beautiful thing. I don't know. I will all my chair in black chair. How can we love you better? I think, I guess listening, understanding and listening to understand, not just hear us, because sometimes y'all sit there, but listen to understand, not just hear me. Don't just hear me talk. Understand where I'm coming from, whatever it is I may have gone through and because I shouldn't use it against you, don't use it against me. We tend to, I feel like what we do as a community is use our traumas against each other and things like that. I think we both do that in a sense. I don't know. I just feel like also learn to love yourself. Like learn yourself, know yourself and love yourself. Cause then you can properly know how to learn, how to navigate when you go out into the world and deal with different people, different types of women. You'll know, and even just because she may not be a cup of tea is no need to disrespect her. You may not respect her for what she do, but you don't have to go out your way to be disrespectful to someone. Cause I see a lot of that, a lot of unwarranted disrespect. Treat me like a woman. Treat me like a woman. You know what I'm about to ask, right? What? How can you better love us? I think a lot of it's the same. Listen to, listen to understand and not respond. Cause I know sometimes. Sometimes. Don't push it. Don't push it. I know sometimes we might hear you talking and because it feels like an attack, sometimes it feels like an attack and it could be, you know, the way it's worded. As sometimes we might respond in a way and that's counter, it's not productive. It's not helping the situation. It might escalate the situation. It happens. I feel like we can better love y'all by also understanding, like being compassionate, understanding whatever it is that you went through. Why is it, it molds who you are, who you are now and not using that against you. Just being there, being, being, hold up. Man, what am I saying again? Am I saying how we can love y'all? Okay, I just want to make sure cause I was like, hold up, am I going on my way? But yeah, I feel like just being there, being there, being present and not just physically present but also emotionally, mentally present. I want you to, I want you to ask the black men in your life that question. I think you might be surprised at the answers you get. What do you think? What do you think? Respect. Respect. Men process love through respect, primarily. We both want love and respect. Right, right. But we prioritize respect. And right now in mass, we don't feel respected by the black woman. So like outside of the listening part, that's important. Part of why people are compelled to listen is cause they respect the speaker. So yeah. But I actually, when you do that, I want you to tell me like what they say. Bro. Deal. Okay. Deal? I'm gonna see what they say. But no, yeah, I do definitely respect it. Definitely a big one. I don't know how that didn't come to my mind but that's definitely a big one. I guess cause that kind of goes like with what you said. If you are listening, you're having, you're showing a level of respect to that person.