 Is Maxwell House the best coffee in the whole world? Well, your father says so, and your father knows best. Yes, it's Father Knows Best, transcribed in Hollywood, starring Robert Young as father. A half-hour visit with your neighbors, the Andersons. Brought to you by Maxwell House, the coffee that's bought and enjoyed by more people than any other brand of coffee at any price. Maxwell House, always good to the last drop. A wonderful bird is the pelican. His bill will hold more than his belly can. He can take in his beak, food enough for a week, as for flying, you know, gosh darn well he can. With this bit of deathless verse, we highest to Springfield in the White Frame House on Maple Street. There we find the Andersons at dinner, and there, as usual, we find a problem. It's all about socks, or is it a dress? Well, it's about something like this. So this little girl said to me, Kathy, she said, I'm going away. I'm going out west, where there's wide open spaces, and cattle, and rustlers, and bandits, and everything. And I said to her, you are, and she said to me. Kathy. Yes, Daddy? Pass the butter, please. Yes, Daddy. They only cost two dollars, Dad, and that's for the cap and the socks. It's a bargain, bud. That's what it is, an absolute bargain. You mean I can get them? No. This is a very good roast, Margaret. Oh, thank you, dear. If it's a bargain, why can't I get them? Because I'm not giving you the two dollars, that's why. Oh. And she said to me, I'm tired of being treated like a criminal. That's what. And I said to her. Kathy. Yes, Daddy? Has anyone ever told you that you talk too much? Oh, yes. And I said to her. Who's treating you like a criminal? And she said, Father, it was $15.95 less than a week ago, and now it's only $8.50. Betty, I wasn't finished. And if you can give Bud two dollars for something dopey like a hat and socks that light up. They don't light up, Betty. They just look like they light up. I wasn't, Mother. It's in that new shade of gun metal. And if I don't get it, I'll simply get it. If I don't get it, I'll simply die. We'll miss you, dear. So, Father gave him the two dollars, and you can see Joe coming two blocks away. I don't care if you can see him clear over in West Springfield. So I said, why do you have to go out West? And she said. Kathy. What? We don't care. You don't? Kathy, you haven't touched your dinner. I'm not very hungry. Kathy, we have an appointment to spend the evening with Mr. and Mrs. Smith. We haven't got all night to fool around. So eat your dinner and behave yourself. What if I was riding along on my bicycle and the truck driver didn't see me? What truck driver? Any truck driver. If I had a fluorescent cap on. Bud. Yes? No. Father. I am not going to give Bud two dollars for pink socks. And I'm not going to give you $8.50 for a dress. Now, is that understood? But Father, I need it. All right. Then it's up to you to figure some way of getting it. That's what I was trying to do. You're a grown girl, Betty. You're 17 years old. If your entire life depends on getting a dress, go out and earn the money for it. Dad. When I was a boy, I worked for the things I wanted. And I didn't feel I was too good to work at anything that came along. Dad. I washed dishes, shoveled snow, dug ditches. Dad. Bud, will you please stop interrupting me? But I want to ask you something. If I earn the money, then can I buy the socks? Yes. Where was I? You were building the Panama Canal. Betty. It's all right, Margaret. Let's just be thankful that we have one sensible child. Yes, dear. Which one would that be? Why, Kathy. Kathy. Me. That's right, Kathy. She wanted the doll, but did she bother me for the money? No. She's earning it by selling those Pelican banks. Kathleen. I'm sorry, Mommy. I guess it slipped. Kathy, what's the matter with you? Why, nothing, Daddy. Jim, something is the matter. He's shaking like a leaf. I'll get it. You stay right where you are. Bud. That isn't the doorbell. It's the foam. Answer it. I'm supposed to answer the doorbell. Why do I have to answer the foam, too? That's what's wrong with this country. We're a nation of specialists. I suppose he expects time and a half for answering anything but doorbells. Jim. Hmm? Oh. All right, Kathy. What is it? I'll go away, Daddy. I'll go out west and start all over again. I won't bring disgrace to the family. What brought that on? Daddy, it's for you. Thank you, Bud. I'll be right there. Kathy, this little girl you've been talking about, that wouldn't be you, would it? Wouldn't it? You see, Dad, all Betty had to do was answer it in the first place. Sit down and finish your dinner. Holy cow. Kathy, what have you done? I was trying to save them some trouble, Daddy. That's all I was doing. Save who trouble? The Pelican people. They said it was worth two dollars, so I didn't think they'd mind. What was worth two dollars? The doll. Now look, Kathy. Jim, if we're going over to the smiths... This is just as important as going over to the smiths, Margaret. If Kathy's done anything wrong... But I haven't, Daddy. And why all this hogwash about being a cattle rustler in the wide open spaces? Because they said I did, and I didn't. Well, while you're trying to figure that out, I'll go upstairs and comb my hair. You do that. Go upstairs and comb everybody's hair. Kathy. Yes, Daddy? Start from the beginning. About what, Daddy? The Pelicans. What did you do? Well, they said in the comic book that if I sent away for 12 plastic Pelican banks and sold them for 50 cents apiece, they'd give me a doll worth two whole dollars. And you sent away for them? Uh-huh. All right, up to there, it makes sense. Now, how many did you sell? Four. Only four? Well, everybody else sent away for them, too. They were trying to sell them to me. Kathy, if you can't sell the other eight, just send them back. I did. And they got mad and sent them back to me. Well, that doesn't seem logical. As long as you sent them the two dollars for the four you sold, you did send them that, didn't you? How could I? I used that to pay for the doll. Kathy. They said they were going to send me a doll, and I just thought I'd save them the trouble and I bought the doll myself. Where is it? The doll? The doll. It died. Kathy. I was playing Red Cross with Patty Davis, and that was the doll we used for blood confusions. She means transfusions, Dad. Thank you very much. You're welcome. Kathy. Confusion means something else. Like, when you see a boy on a bicycle and he isn't wearing a fluorescent mask. Wonderful thing has happened. Mary and Swift has a cold. Well, that's nice. Maybe if she's real lucky, it'll turn into pneumonia. Father. Well, what did you expect me to say? Mary and Swift has a cold. But don't you see? She was going to babysit for the Hathaway's tonight and Friday and Saturday. And now she can and I'm going to. Well, that's more like it. We're finally beginning to show a little ambition around here. I've got to be at the Hathaway's in five minutes. Where's Mother? I'll tell you, Mother. You just go ahead. Oh, Father, I've never been so happy in my whole life. That beautiful dress. Say, I've got an idea. Well, treat it gently. It's in a strange place. What an idea. I'll make a million. Betty, hey, Betty, wait a minute. I want to ask you something. And he wanted to tell me what confusion was. All right, Cathy. Now, where were we? They were going to put me in prison. No one's going to put you in prison. But the letter said I was responsible and I have to send them $6 and I don't have $6. I'll give you $2 and you can send them that and the rest of the banks. They don't want them. The man said they've got enough banks. Oh, fine. What am I going to do, Daddy? Well, there's only one thing you can do. You've got to sell the other eight pelicans. But I tried and I couldn't. Well, you didn't go about it the right way. You've got to create a market, build up a desire for pelicans, make the entire neighborhood pelican bank conscious. How do I do that? Well, it's very simple, Cathy. Put up little signs, advertise, get yourself a slogan and spread it all over town, like, uh, pelicans, they fill the bill. Or, uh, you can bank on Cathy's pelican. You mean then they'll buy them? Of course. With men who know their banking best, it's pelicans two to one. Watch the pelicans go buy. That's the idea. Pelicans are better than ever. Now you're rolling. Be a pelican of distinction. That's enough, Cathy. What this country needs is a good five-cent pelican. I said that's enough. I'm sorry, Daddy. I guess I was just carried away. That isn't a bad idea, either. Jim, I'm ready. Just a second, honey. Now are you all straightened out? Oh, yes, Daddy. Good. Jim, while you're getting your coat, I want to tell Ben. Where are Betty and Bon? Margaret, you can make fun of my little lectures, all you like. But every once in a while they do hit home. Daddy told me how to sell my pelican banks, Mommy. Oh, that's fine, dear. Jim, Betty and Bud haven't even started on the dishes. Where are they? Oh, I guess I forgot about the dishes, honey. But you know that little talk I gave them tonight? Well, Betty has already gotten a job as a babysitter. She has, has she? That's right. And Bud? I don't know. He went off screaming that he's going to make millions. Really took it to heart. Now don't take your coat off, Margaret. I'll be ready to go in two seconds. To go where? To the Smiths, naturally. And who is going to take care of Kathy? Oh, no. How could anybody be that stupid? Oh, Daddy, you aren't stupid. Stop arguing, Kathleen. This is one time when your father knows best. These days, coffee's making good news in grocery stores everywhere. In city markets and country stores alike, grocers are featuring Maxwell House coffee at lower prices. Yes, now the coffee with that wonderful good to the last drop flavor comes to you at the lowest prices in months. And it's a mighty welcome occasion for everyone. You, your grocer, and for us Maxwell House people, too. You see, we have one aim with our coffee to bring you the most in flavor and enjoyment every pound you buy. To bring you truly good coffee at the lowest possible price. That's our way of doing business. And it seems you folks like it. You've made our Maxwell House coffee, America's favorite brand. Because you can count on that famous flavor every cup you pour, because you find more flavor for your money, vacuum packed in that familiar blue tin. And at today's prices, Maxwell House is more than ever today's coffee buy. Look for it. Featured these days at the lowest prices in months. Enjoy the coffee that's always good to the last drop. It's sometime later in Springfield. We don't know exactly how much later, but believe me, it's later than you think. Bud is well on his way to a fluorescent cap and socks. Betty has her dress. And Kathy, well, Kathy has her pelicans. Put them all together in what his father got. That's right. A headache like this. Oh, yes, Mrs. Lawson. We guarantee all our babysitters. Bud, will you please get off the phone? Just a minute, Mrs. Lawson, please. Dad, Mrs. Lawson is a brand new customer. I have to be polite to her. I would like to use the phone. You bet, Dad. Hello, Mrs. Lawson? No, it was just my father. God. Well, I can give you Joe Phillips. He's one of our best babysitters. Bud. Oh, yes, ma'am. He's as good as any girl babysitter in town. Bud. That's eight o'clock Friday. Okay, Mrs. Lawson, he'll be there. And thank you very much. Isn't that wonderful, Dad? That's three for just Friday. Let me have the phone. But I have to call Joe before he goes out. Let me have the phone. Holy cow, Dad. This is business. I wouldn't care if it was... Oh, no. Excuse me, Dad. Anderson Babysit is incorporated, but Anderson's... Now I've heard everything. Oh, sure. He's right here. It's for you. Whoa. How did that ever happen? Please don't talk too long, Dad. I've got important things to do. Yes. Hello? Oh, yes, Mr. Bryant. Kathy's principal? Uh, just a minute, please. Yes, Dad? Go away. But I have to... Go away. Good gravy. Try to run a business around this place. I'm sorry, Mr. Bryant. I was just telling my son... They have? They were? She did? Well, I... Well, naturally, you would be upset. Yes. Of course. Oh, I promise you, it'll never happen again. Thank you, Mr. Bryant. And thank you for calling. Good night. Kathy! Did you call me, Daddy? I just got a call from Mr. Bryant. The principal? The principal. And he tells me you've been defacing public property. I have? Well, haven't you? Oh, no, Daddy. I wouldn't do a thing like that. Mr. Bryant said you've practically ruined the entire west wall of the school. Oh, I didn't know I did was write signs on it. Kathy. Well, you told me to advertise, Daddy. I just wrote slogans about the pelicans. I told you to write little signs on paper. I didn't tell you to put chalk marks all over the school. It wasn't chalk, Daddy. It was paint. Oh, I don't believe it. I didn't think anybody would mind. And I sold practically all the pelicans. Pelicans. Morning, noon, and night pelicans. Kathy, why do you do things like this to me? But it was my best printing, Daddy. I thought you'd be proud of me. I've got the pay to have the whole wall cleaned. Maybe if I told Mr. Bryant I was sorry. That'll do a lot of good, telling him you're sorry. Mr. Anderson? Good evening, Officer. Now what have we done? May I come in? Oh, sure. Just come on in and make yourself at home. Thank you. Miserable night, isn't it? Yes, miserable. Don't go away, Kathy. This probably concerns you. Yes, Daddy. Go ahead, Officer. Mr. Anderson, we understand that you're operating an employment office at this address. That's my son. But the king of the boy babysitters. I guess it isn't anything I did, huh, Daddy? All right. Go back to whatever you were doing. Thank you, Daddy. Mr. Anderson, your son has been operating an employment office charging a fee of 10 percent and he has no state license. A license? Well, they're just kids. I know, but the state law says... Officer, all he did was organize the boys of the neighborhood as babysitters. And they pay him a fee. That's the point, Mr. Anderson. They pay him a fee. And in order to collect that fee, he must have a state license. There's a fine of $500. But... While we naturally feel... But... You want me dead? Come in here. Now, there's no reason to be upset, Mr. Anderson. I'm sure you can explain to the judge. Judge? You mean I have to go to court? Well, according to the law, I have to give you a summons, but I'm sure that if you explain... But... What's the matter, Dad? You name it and we've got it. Daddy puts paint all over the school. You run an employment office without a license. A what? Father! You'll just... Margaret! Monster did to me. I didn't know you needed a license. My new dress. My beautiful dress. Is anything right? That's the question. Nobody said you needed a license to be a babysitter. All I did was sit on the bench at the bus stop and look at it. Pelicans! Thee, Mr. Anderson. I'm coming, Daddy. If the girls can be babysitters and they don't need a license, why do we need a license? You were running an employment agency. You were getting jobs for people. Just babysitting jobs. Did you want me, Daddy? Kathy, I... I could strangle you. I didn't do anything. Look at your sister's dress. My pelicans, it worked. Mr. Anderson, I... Don't they look wonderful, Daddy? And it was my idea. The first time I've even had the dress on and look at it. Kathy, what was your idea? Well, drawing pelicans on the benches with chalk. Then when the people sit down, they get pelicans on them. Oh, Kathy. And then when they walk around, everybody sees them. Isn't that the way you advertise? Kathy, go up to your room. But you said if I wanted to sell pelicans... I said go up to your room. Gee, baby sat for three whole nights and look at my dress. Betty, stop acting like an infant. It's only chalk and we'll have it cleaned. I was going to wear it tonight. You can wear something else. Jumping creepers. I'll talk to you in just a minute. Officer... Mr. Anderson, let's just forget the whole thing, shall we? But you said... About the summons? Brother, if I gave you a ticket, I couldn't sleep tonight. Couldn't, huh? I don't have any kids of my own. Would you like some of mine? No. I was down at the station that everything's all taken care of. Well, thank you, officer. And there won't be any more of, you know... The employment office folded five minutes ago. That's the idea. Thanks again, officer. Good luck, Mr. Anderson. And brother, you can use it. Good night. How did I know you needed a license? Nobody told me. Jim, what on earth is going on down here? Margaret, five minutes ago, I found my way to jail. What? A $500 fine. That's what it was going to cost me. Jim, that's impossible. How could a little girl like Kathy... It wasn't Kathy, it was Bud. Bud? Oh, Bud, how could you? How could I find it? Look, Margaret, it's all over now, so let's just forget about it. But the next time anybody says babysitter or pelican or... Bud, what have you got in your hand? In my hand? What is it? What is it? Bud, will you stop repeating everything I say? What have you got in your hand? A pelican. Take it outside and burn it. But it's Kathy's, Dad. I found it on the dining room table. I said burn it. Put it in the incinerator. I never want to see another pelican as long as I live. But this is the last one. Good. Let's make sure it is the last one. Mom, do as your father tells you, Bud. You mean a perfectly good pelican? Bud? Holy cow. Jim. Honey, we've got to do something about the children. I know, dear, but... When you get to the point where a policeman feels sorry for you... Well, that's the end. Jim, I don't know what you're talking about, but I do know that you've broken Kathy's heart. Well, that isn't where she's going to be affected next. She's been working very hard and she's been doing it all for you. For me? That's what she said. She didn't have to paint signs all over the school to sell eight puny little pelicans. Eight? She's already sold eight dozen. What? Eight dozen. And she's getting more orders every day. But why? What can she possibly do with that many dolls? She's going to sell them to and give you the money to pay for the damage she's done. Well... Frankly, I think you owe her an apology. Margaret. Kathy. Honey, you don't know what she's been doing. She smeared paint all over the school. Do you want me, Mommy? Your father has something to say to you, dear. Okay. She put chalk pelicans all over the bus benches. And if I have to pay for cleaning the clothes of all the people who sat down on them... Here I am. Go ahead, Jim. Kathy, your mother tells me you've been selling a lot of pelicans. Oh, I have, Daddy. I've sold ninety-five. And when I sell one more, I'll be all finished. Well, that's fine, dear. I, uh, I'm very proud of you. I've got almost forty-eight dollars. And when I sell the last pelican... Gosh! Well, what is it, Kathy? My pelican. What happened to it? Kathy. But I just saw it. It was in the dining room. And I went upstairs. We won't worry about that pelican, Kathy. I'll give you the fifty cents and we'll consider the whole matter closed. Oh, Daddy, you have to help me. I have to find the pelican. Sweetheart, one little pelican isn't that important. This one is. That's where I hid all the money. The coffee section in your grocery store. That's the place to see welcome news these days. In stores everywhere, grocers are featuring Maxwell House at lower prices. Now all you folks who drink Maxwell House every day can enjoy it at the lowest price in months. And for those of you who haven't been getting that wonderful good-to-the-last-drop flavor, now's a good time to open up a familiar blue Maxwell House tin and start enjoying truly good coffee. Find out how much real pleasure comes to you with that famous flavor. Flavor you can count on every cup you drink. For we'll never compromise on the quality of a single pound. Tomorrow, look for Maxwell House at the lowest prices in months. Now more than ever, today's Coffee Buy. You'll get your money's worth and more with Maxwell House coffee because it's always good to the last drop. Digging into our book of Proverbs, we find a happy facet to our sad little tale. All is well that ends well. That's what they say. And so let's listen in at the Anderson Breakfast Table to a happier conclusion than we might imagine. Like this. Jim. Margaret, I'm in no mood to discuss anything. May I please be permitted the pleasure of suffering in silence. But Bud has something very important to tell you. Oh, yes, sure it must be. Well, go ahead, Bud. Dad, I'm sorry I disobeyed you. About what? About the pelican, but gosh, I didn't see any sense of burning a perfectly good thing like that. What? He didn't burn it, Jim. He didn't? I found it up in his room. With the money? Yes, dear. Oh. I'm sorry, Dad. Bud, don't ever disobey me again. No, Dad. It's the worst thing a boy can do. I know, Dad. When I give you an order, I expect it to be carried out. Yes, Dad. So here's two dollars. Go get yourself a fluorescent cap and socks. On the other hand, there's another proverb. Everything hath an end, it says, and a pudding hath two. Kathy, it would seem, is the other end of the pudding, like this. Daddy! Kathy, don't you think you've caused enough trouble around here for the time being? Oh, but this isn't any trouble, Daddy. This is just wonderful. I won the prize. What prize? I sold more pelican banks than anybody in Springfield, and they gave me the grand prize. That's fine. And you know what it is? A real live pelican! Tell the kids it's a hot favorite with hoppy. That's hot post-tweet meal. You shouldn't let youngsters go to school without a hot cereal these mornings. So just tell them how hop along Cassidy goes for hot post-tweet meal and watch those kids gobble it up. Post-tweet meal has a rich nut-like flavor. It's crammed with solid nourishment. It cooks in just three and a half minutes. And tell the kids it's hoppy's favorite. You'll see, you'll all agree, it's the best hot cereal you ever ate. Join us again next week when we'll be back with Father Knows Best, starring Robert Young as Jim Anderson, with Roy Bargy in the Maxwell House Orchestra, and yours truly, Bill Foreman. So until next Thursday, good night and good luck from the makers of Maxwell House, America's favorite brand of coffee. Always good to the last drop. Father Knows Best was transcribed in Hollywood and written by F. James. Now stay tuned in for Dragnet, which follows immediately over most of these stations.