 Well, hello and welcome to understand men now. I'm Jonathan as they have Jonathan as they comment I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today our topic don't Don't give a man space when he pulls away and here's why okay? Don't give a man space when he pulls away Here's why okay really quickly if this content here resonates with you And you've been interested in hiring a coach check out the link below for a free discovery call to see if working with a coach Is right for you and that call is with me all right our topic don't give a man space when he pulls away So there's this interesting Point of view I've heard from others in my industry that says when someone pulls away in Relationship and this is mostly centered around men pulling away in relationship that what you should do as a woman is Give him space you give him space. Okay? Now here's the interesting thing about this. Oh and by the way you give him space You focus on yourself and allow him to come back and claim you okay? That's the advice you give him space you focus on yourself and then you allow Him to come back to you and you allow him to claim you and you don't accept him unless he's claimed you back Okay, that's the advice first off When someone's taken space when someone's pulled away They're the ones who took space. There is nothing you can do at this point because they're the ones who took space So you can't give someone's space when someone who's already taken space So I just find that ludicrous. There's nothing you know that person's already taking space So they've taken space. Okay, you can't give them the space. They've already taken it So does that first off make sense? now I Do agree that when someone pulls away That chances are or not chances are well Let's get to why they pulled away in a second But when they pulled away what's most important is you nurture your soul you nurture your sovereignty You nurture your self-love and if you need support and help on nurturing yourself love Then I highly recommend you checking out my book called what the heck is self-love anyway by Jonathan Asley there's a link below called self-love the book now All right, so Here's the differentiation between you're in a happy loving juicy delicious relationship You're madly in love with each other and a guy takes a little bit. He pulls away a little bit That's a very natural reaction because human beings all need time to recharge their batteries to not be so fully you know Expectant on taking care of someone else's needs So there's gonna be times when people are in a juicy delicious loving relationship that they just need a little bit of space But it doesn't mean space from the relationship. It just they just need a little time to recharge their batteries That's a very common healthy thing to do and couples that are happily in relationship They take time for each other. That's a healthy thing to do when a guy actually pulls away from the relationship He's pulling away that means he doubts the relationship. That means he's doubting you that means he's doubting himself and Chances are he's not ready to fully commit into a relationship So when a guy in your let's just talk about you're in a casual relationship or an uncertain relationship You're in a casual relationship or an uncertain relationship. This is the time you actually lean in and ask What the heck is going on? We don't give someone space We check in because you don't want to invest one minute on your own Thinking he's gonna come back when he has no intention of coming back Okay, the mediocre relationships. Those are ones when the person pulls away It's because there's huge doubt going on so you want to gain clarity and some and some Certainty around what's going on. This is why I highly recommend the book Eight Dates by Dr. John Gottman before the penis ever gets to go inside the vagina Understand the mechanics of a healthy happy relationship Including one of the chapters in here is when you have conflicts and learning how to resolve them Because here's the bottom line ladies. He's taken space now You can go take care of yourself and hope you're gonna be hoping hoping hoping hoping hoping hoping hoping He's gonna come back and claim you because you're so into your feminine energy right now that he's just gonna naturally come after you No, that's a crock the reasons why he became pulled away or distant are a lot of heavy shit That means he's probably not capable of being in a relationship This is why I highly recommend you checking out the book nonviolent communication by Marshall Rosenberg So you can learn how to ask what the heck is going on Because here's the thing You've given them space and by the way sometimes this space could be weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks That's not how two grown-ups operate in relationship If you want to be with a grown-up a man who's a genuine grown-up then you better again another book The both of you should be reading before the penis gets to go inside the vagina is the four agreements The four agreements. Here's the bottom line and I'm tired of this not happening Because two people aren't making a commitment before sex These are ambiguous relationships. It's what Esther Perrell calls stable ambiguity Which is companionship connection and sex and the ambiguous part is the commitment to the process of exploring a relationship What you should be doing is getting really crystal clear on what your standards. Oh, I'm yelling Get really crystal clear on the standards that you want for yourself and say this is your bare minimum You're going to even accept in beginning exploring a relationship. Do you hear what I'm saying? Exploring a relationship exploring commitment. There's a consciousness. There's a intentionality. There's purpose behind this But of course we can just sit back and lean back and just be in our feminine energy And just hope guys are going to gravitate towards us. Yeah, we will for a second when we want to get laid But that's not if you want to be in a healthy relationship Then you got to learn the mechanics of a relationship and the reality is ladies Men are clueless and so are you because I can tell you Most of you have no clue how a healthy happy relationship works You know why because you're watching these videos if you're watching these videos Chances are well, these my videos are a little different watch Susan Winters videos. She's certainly different Because here's the bottom line You would know all this stuff and you wouldn't be choosing men that would pull away And then you're trying to figure out how to get them back Stop trying to get a guy who's pulled away back get crystal clear on what's going on and then move on And take care of really good care of yourself. All right Do we have an agreement close to comment if you agree with this? If you have a question, please post it. I do my best to read all of them. All right I'm gonna wrap up this videos I always do first off giving myself a big gigantic jot them bear hug of self love I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone or a pet or even a teddy bear and give them a hug of love Because hugs are a great source of love and we can all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye. Bye now