 Well, hello and welcome to Jonathan from the heart. I'm Jonathan as I have Jonathan as a comment I'm so excited to shoot this short video for you today our topic make them choose you Make them choose you over his freedom All right, really quickly. These are my weekend videos. I shoot out on my balcony very similar to the videos I shoot my private group called midlife love mastery. This is a group where you can directly Connect with me on a regular basis through our private Facebook group and through a webinar that I do each month where you can Ask me questions directly check out the link below to my VIP group called midlife love mastery All right, we're going to talk about how him to make him choose you over his freedom So what's interesting is I googled now. I'm going to do it have to do it again I once googled the definition of commitment. Have you ever done that do me a favor, right? Now put a pause on the video right now and Google Definition of commitment. So I'm going to do it right now with you definition of commitment and the commitment says Commitment I've not commit a Stater quality of being dedicated to a cause activity Stater quality of being dedicated to a cause or activity But also commitment means an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action an Engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action. So Think about this the idea of commitment one is you're mutually engaged in this cause or activity Oftentimes it's centered around raising children or buying property together Or maybe it's a work environment where you share the same or it might be a charity type of thing Where you share the same cause? But also being in relationship can feel like a restriction from freedom. So how does one choose to? To really lean into Commitment and that's what I want to explore with you today. So I want to share with you I'm was watching a show on net or on showtime Called couples therapy and it's about couples who are trying to work out their relationship These are all married couples. I believe it's on and it's and it's done by hidden cameras So it's not a joke reality TV show like the Kardashians or something like that This is well, at least that's what it is to me or the bachelor or whatever. This is feels like real life And when you hear the dynamics between the two or between the couples you can see that they're trying to work out Their relationship, but there's friction going on there's friction going on and so I start to think well How do we how do we remove the friction before it ever gets to refriction because I want to share something else with you? I remembered I went through a divorce a Decade and a half ago. It seemed right forget how long ago it was and I remember going to family court and Because our case was later in the day. I had to sit through so many other cases and I'm witnessing couples Yelling and screaming each other and they're literally Fighting tooth and nail and I'm thinking to myself gosh I mean, this is what you know when you met you fell happily in love Or at least you'd like to think you when I went exactly when you met but when you got married You'd like to think you were happily in love and you'd want to be there for the rest of your life You didn't want to escape from it So what does it take to really build a juicy delicious relationship? And that's what I want to lean into today So if you follow my work, you know that I'm continual to say women are the emotional leaders of the relationship Let me repeat that women are the emotional leaders of the relationship We've got to stop this whole nonsense that men are leaders of the relationship because the reality is that they do a relatively bad job of this why because of this you know this this conflict of restriction of freedom versus being part of a cause being part of a cause now many of you know I talk I continually introduce books in my video because I'm a believer that You can get more value reading a book. I mean, yes, you're gonna get value in this But I encourage reading books because you could actually learn how to build the mechanics to a healthy happy relationship And so if you want to begin, okay So the reason why I'm shooting this video is we talked about the divorce couples at family court You don't want to be in that state and you don't want to end up in couples therapy either So how do we avoid it right from the get-go? It starts by Understanding how real love happens how real love happens with another human being and I'm What I really highly encourage you to check out this book by Barbara de Angel is called how to make love all the time How to make love all the time make love a light last of lifetime? I'm I'm encouraging you ladies to read this book so you can begin the Foundation right from the very beginning of how to build a healthy happy relationship now I'm gonna share with you and by the way the menu. Oh by the way, my t-shirt says that's what I do I drink and I know things does do do you know where this is from if you do please post a comment below if you I That's what I do. I drink and I know things who said it and what TV shows it from All right, so why I'm encouraging this is because this whole notion. Yes It's great to be with an alpha male that takes charge who's charming and who romances you Well, that's great till he gets you in bed and then once after sucks. What are you really doing together? What are you doing together? Are you building a partnership together or are you just spending time together? And I'm here to encourage something deeper than just connection and sex I'm here to encourage something much juicier in relationship, and this is why I'm a big proponent of reading this book By Gary Zukoff called spiritual partnership spiritual partnership. He wrote seed of the soul and oh my god What a great book that is but definitely check this out And I'm saying this beyond because it's time to look beyond the surface when it comes to relationship Because what's it going to take for a man to choose you over freedom is love Being deliciously, you know deliriously in love with you and The biggest problem with experiencing that is most humans are suffering on the inside of I'm not good enough I'm not lovable. I'm not likeable and For many women you you evicks you you've adopted this I need you to love me for me to feel good about myself This is why I'm such a big proponent of self-love in your life And if you're not familiar with my book, this is the first time you're watching one of my videos Please check out my book called what the heck is self-love anyway? What the heck is self-love anyway? This is a journey of personal development self-help and spiritual work to fortify your inside because Whether or not he wants a fully committed relationship with you is irrelevant What's most important is the relationship you have with yourself with your sovereignty with your self-worth Your self-esteem your self-confidence and my invitation is to build those roots so and Then study the books that I mentioned in fact check out a number of my other videos I talk about a variety of different books and the reason being ladies My audience is women, but I'm I do get a lot of men who watch so I'm really grateful for that And they appreciate this conversation because it's time to look at the process as a two-lane street And sometimes you have to be the leader emotional leader of the relationship by leading by example That's by the way leading by example is another way of setting your standards And by leading by example you can differentiate between the many who meant many the men who are capable and ready many red men and ready Capable and ready for a fully blown commitment and a juicy delicious relationship, and I encourage and by the way One of the benefits of being in a relationship is you can work on your stuff together going back to the couples therapy What I liked about some of the couples is they were working through their stuff together And when you can work through your emotional stuff together it builds a bond and when you build a bond like this You don't want freedom. You want connection. You want Companionship you want intimacy you want deep roots in a relationship, and that's my invitation for you Lead by example, and that way he won't want his freedom. He'll want you instead All right, I hope you found value in this I'd like to hear your thoughts, please post a comment below if this resonated with you if you have a question Please post it again If you like my work and you want to talk to me directly check out the link to a free discovery call to see if working with the Coach is right for you All right, I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do first off give myself a big gigantic shot the bear hug of Self-love I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone or a pet or a teddy bear and give it or them a hug of love because Hugs are a great source of love and we can all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye. Bye now