 Has it ever occurred to you that you may be too nice for your own good? Some people always say yes to favours for other people and are constantly seeking to please others. Are you one of these people? Typically, they feel under a lot of pressure to do things that they really don't want to do. It isn't fun to accept doing things you really don't want to do because you think it would displease other people. You may not even know you are too nice but they are always tell-tale signs. In today's video, I'm going to share with you 9 signs that shows you are too nice. 1. You never say no. One of the things you will learn to do when you have become more self-aware is to say no if you really don't want to do anything. Saying yes when you don't want to do something puts you under pressure to do it, especially if you feel not doing it will hurt the other person's feeling. You may then end up doing a bad job or not doing it at all, which is worse. Get it better to say no to something and have the present think you can do it but you are busy or have them think you are incompetent because you didn't pay much attention when doing it. It's not a crime to say no. People who are too nice have this problem. They want people to like them so they can't turn down favors. If you are always this way, you will end up unhappy with a table full of work you don't want to do and don't know what to do it. These things can clutter your mind and impede productivity. You need to stick to your guns. If you want to rest, rest. The people you are doing the favor for are not paying you extra to stay up. You need to care for yourself. The people asking you for favors may actually genuinely feel you have the time. Unless you tell them otherwise, they are perfectly fine with asking you for a favor. Who doesn't want a favor, right? Two, people borrow things from you and never return them. Another class sign you may be too nice is that people borrow your stuff without returning them because you are used to doing favors for people even when it makes you uncomfortable. You are likely to also be free-handed with your stuff. The trouble is, unlike favors that involve actions, your stuff when borrowed or to be returned. Because you don't know how to approach a person to return it or call out bad borrowing habits in your friends, they may not give much thought to returning your items. People who are not so nice, on the other hand, do not joke with their items. They don't hesitate to call out people who borrowed their items and never return them. They even keep mental notes of such people in case of future requests. There is literally no limits to what people can borrow. People borrow money a lot. If you don't want to be people's ATM card, it is probably a good idea to not always give to others because you still have something left in your account. Think about it. How many times have your friends who borrowed money from you ever returned it? Don't repeat the cycle and keep hoping they will change. Hope is not a strategy. 3. You Apologize All The Time People who are too nice don't like to be seen in a bad light. They value people's opinion a lot and may not always give theirs. They apologize for every single thing whether they are right or wrong. While being apologetic can be seen as humble, it can also be seen as a sign of weakness You need to learn to stand your ground when you are right. Don't bend over just so others can be happy. People shouldn't be your friend simply because you allow them to halve their way. They should respect you and your opinions too. If you have done something wrong, take responsibility, apologize and make amends. If you haven't, don't apologize. Sometimes people can perceive your apology as just there if you do it too frequently. According to psychology today, a full apology requires many more elements than just those two words such as acceptance of responsibility and expression of genuine remorse and offer to make amends and an excuse-free explanation. When you apologize so much, it may lose its meaning along the way. 4. You Try To Please Everyone This is one of the worst things people who are too nice do. Everyone can know you but not everyone will love you. You have to let go of the idea that if you tried hard enough, maybe everyone will love you. In reality, they won't. In fact, the more you try, the less likely it is that people will like you. People generally don't like people who try too hard. They feel like they are desperate for attention from others and can sometimes ignore them. People who see original on the other hand, who don't care what others think and do exactly what they have in mind. They are more likely to be liked and admired by their peers and others. Pleasing everyone is not your job. Even God doesn't set out to please everyone. It requires infinite resources and patience which you don't have. Be yourself. Let people that are good with you stay that way. You gain nothing from people who pretend to be friends with you but laugh at you behind your back. 5. You Are Afraid To Speak Your Mind Over Issues People who are too nice tend not to voice their opinions. This isn't good enough. You need to be able to say your mind at every point in time. How else will people around you get you? Being nice to people is not bad, but being sheepish will not end you any social points. If you don't want to be addressed a certain way, speak up. If you don't want to be involved in your friend's fraternity, tell her. If you need to come to terms with the way we communicate as humans, we can't read minds. Anything we are not told stays that way. 6. You Avoid Conflicts People who are too nice also don't want to get involved in a fight. But sometimes fights are important. They may decline a scholarship to make their dumb friends feel better. They may also not run for a position because their friends have an indicated interest even though they indicated interest first. They feel like if they make enough sacrifice for their friends, it will increase their value. People who act this way are often disappointed. The people you make sacrifices the most for are often the people least likely to help you when you need their help. They take your actions for granted because you do it for them all the time. If you were not always so nice, it might actually change their perception of you and in consequence, their attitude. 7. You Are Constantly Swamped With Work Because nice people accept doing favors for others. They are always swamped with work. There is nothing wrong with doing favors for your friends but there has to be a limit. It is unfair to spend Saturday doing research while your friend goes to hang out with his girlfriend. If you do it once, the chances are that he will ask you again. Don't create patterns you don't want. If you get swamped with work, let it be because you are building something. It is way better to volunteer with your free time than to do favors for people who really don't care about you. 8. You Often Feel Directionless and Recentful You can feel very angry when you have a lot to do and you don't want to do any of the work. It can make you resent yourself for always accepting and never saying no to people's request. If you work in a company or non-profit, your boss may take advantage of this because they know you will never reject work. You can become their go-to person while that can help with your promotion and future recommendation. It is also very demanding. 9. People Will Always Meet You When They Need Something A typical nice guy or lady will have a lot of people who always reach out for help with an essay, a CV, an interview or some paperwork. The list is endless. If all your friends are this way with you, you probably need to change circles. It may mean your friends are exploiting you in the relationship. The earlier you identify it and cut them off, the better. People should meet you both when they need something and when they just want to hang out.