 We got something kind of fun for you guys. We put out a call before this conference to check around to various people's float centers out there because there's a lot of crazy stuff that happens in a float center. As we all know, people in this room who run them and we, every time we get drinks with people and are traveling around and hang out with them, we pretty much just exchange kind of the most hilarious things that have happened in our centers with each other. So we thought it'd be fun during this year's conference to actually have some people come on stage and share some funny stories from their float centers. So I'm going to bring on here our comedians for this hour telling us some funny stories. We got Megan Sprott here from Cocoon Float, all the way out in Australia, Jay Z Barth, Z Floats, Ontario, Canada, Heather Clift and Paul Clift from Samana Float in Denver. And I thought I'd start by telling you my own little funny story of what happened in our center. So this was a long time ago. This is when we were first starting up, so our shop looked a little bit different. For those of you who have been in there since, we just had four tanks at the time, kind of in one big long open space. And this was a Monday. This is our kind of deep clean day. And Jake and I, Jake Marty, who's out there somewhere, are in the shop, it's just the two of us there. And we're kind of going through and doing our little maintenance tasks and all that sort of stuff. And we're sitting there with ourselves and we notice that the water jug for our water cooler is out of water. So Jake goes back to get another water jug and as he's walking out, he's looking at the thing. And we fill these up in our back room because we have a little water filter. And it's only about like three quarters full. Like the last time someone went to fill it up, they stopped like pretty low. And he's looking and he's like, what is this? Who's doing this? Who doesn't fill a water jug all the way up when you want to like set it up for the next person? And so he goes and he puts it on. I go out to take a phone call. And about five minutes later, I walk back in the shop and I walk in and I look and there's just a giant puddle of water on the ground. I'm like, huh, that's weird. And I'm walking and I'm trying to find where Jake is. And he's in one of the rooms, some kind of, you know, people had wandered off the street curious about floating. And he's one of our rooms kind of explaining it to them and talking about, you know, what the float tanks are. And I'm kind of looking at this puddle of water and I'm walking past it and it looks like it's coming out from under the wall next to our back room. And so I kind of go back there and on the ground in the back room is the empty water jug that Jake had taken off with our filtered water nozzle in it. Overpouring. Just filling out of this thing, completely pouring down. The whole back room is flooded with water to the point that it's actually coming out from underneath the ground, coming into our lobby space. And Jake's just patiently in a room chatting away with these people having a good time, you know? So I'm like, uh-oh. And I start running to grab towels, anything I can to start like stopping this insane flood from happening. And Jake's kind of facing out the room so he can see out the door and the customers are facing him. And he just sees me run by the door of the room going, uh-oh. And then I grab a bunch of towels and then run back and then two minutes later they're like, oh, shit. Just over and over again. And he's trying to like play it cool, like not kind of trying to let the customers know what's going on. And eventually they leave and I had gotten kind of the lobby area soft up and he walks back to our back room and he goes like, hey man, what's go-oh, oh, uh, and there's still a huge puddle of water back there. So the two of us now are like grabbing towels, grabbing sponges, sopping everything up. And after a few minutes we finally get all of this totally taken care of. The two of us are sitting there, you know, wet up to our knees exhausted. There's kind of a pile of wet rags, towels, sponges, everything we had in the shop sitting there. And at this moment Jake looks over to me and he says, now that's how you fill a water jug. So first up for our stories here we have Miss Megan Sprouts all the way here from Wollongong, Australia. I've got a case for the Hype Police here. Just have to move this down. Beautiful people. All right. So before I started cocoon flotation three and a half years ago I'd been floating for eight and a half years and I experienced a shamanic awakening during that time. I was in Mule Woods and there was a giant sequoia that had fallen over and I touched its root and felt human flesh. And this just allowed a very deep conversation to begin and I knew I had to go home and quit my beige existence and I did. I had a nine to five office job, quit it, had no idea what I was going to do but just trusted in the experience. And no clue what I'm doing. And for probably five months I spent most of my time in isolation in the bush just processing the psychospiritual experiences and changes that were coming through. And about six months later I was seeing a comedian and I was laughing so hard and I felt so amazing. You know, the sea had parted and it was like I'll open up a float center. It makes total sense. And everything that I'd done in my life previously was preparing me. So here I am, right? I've accepted and met my call, made it. And I have no idea what I'm doing at all, totally green. But I'm going to bloody save the planet and then my first challenging situation happens. So here I am. This guy comes to float and he asked if we did massage and I said no. Conversation continued. And then he said, oh, you should put a red light up out the front. And I thought red light, like if I was going to put a light up out the front it would be blue. I can be super naive at times. All right, really I can. He floated, left. The next morning he called to tell me that his erection that morning was a lot larger than normal and was that because of the float. I could have said anything at that point. Anything. And what I said was, I'm not sure. Why don't you float again and see if you get the same results. So he booked in then and there for that afternoon. Started talking about the erection again and all I could think of at this point was just business going down in the tank with the scattering of precious man seed everywhere. So I said to him, in this voice, whatever you do, don't you do anything in the tank. And I thought that's it. The matron has spoken. It's all sorted. We can all move on. And he went to shower and he left the sliding door wide open. This is in my old place, so the shower was outside of the float room. Left the sliding door wide open and the entrance door was right next to that sliding door. So if anybody walked through it would have looked like there was a red light up out the front. And I'm just at my desk just the busiest, my fingers are just so busy just typing. I'm frozen but my fingers are just, you know, smashing the space bar, just so busy. And he floated and hours up, comes out. And then on the way back to the shower I asked you if I had any Vaseline because, you know, that hurts without it. And I thought, mate, enough is enough. You sick bastard. Vaseline possibly contains carcinogenic materials. You should be using coconut oil. And so at the end of last year I moved and expanded my business, doubled in size, pun intended. And this guy comes in and straight away it was like, warning, warning. I was like, oh, man, I know this guy from somewhere. Oh, just going through the files. Oh. And then he said, yes, if we did massage, yet. But thanks to him and my training, I just scooped him out without even getting him booked in this time. So well done, me. If your business is your baby and your main driver for running your center is because you feel a responsibility to contribute towards the positive well-being of your community, it's super important that you attract and accept the kind of people you want to be around because your clients are going to be in your life and you're going to see them more than some family and friends. Super important. And personally, everything that happens in my business is a direct reflection of what's going on for me personally. So for the last three and a half years, my inner work has blossomed thanks to my business being a mirror. And it's really important that you love and value yourself and your space and your product. And the more you do this, the more your community will value and respect you. Yes, it's important that you are warm and compassionate and understanding with your clients. And you also need to uphold boundaries, meaning what's OK and what's not OK for you. And you need to pull people up. So please realize your worth. I'm saying, don't go lowering your specific gravity for anyone. Thank you. All right, next up, we have Mr. J. The Z-Man Z-Bart. OK, I got to preface this story real quick. That for the first year we were opened, I had to work another job. I did 12-hour shifts in a factory rotating day and night. So it would take me away from the float center for two to three periods. And I just have to trust the process and hope everything went well. So during one of these weekend night shifts, I get a call from my staff member, Zach. And he says, hey, there's a woman here. She really wants to talk to you. So I'm like, OK, cool. She immediately calls me, and she's going on about how amazing floating is. It's the most wonderful thing. She's a lot of amazing clients. She can send my way. Then she said the magic words that a guy who's about to go into night shift wants to hear, and that she's got a lot of rich investors who could help me out. I'm like, OK, when are we meeting then? So she says, let's meet tomorrow. We'll take you up for Indian. I'm like, well, I'm just waking up. So let's just have some coffee. So I'm on my way to this meeting. I just wake up the next day. And plans start changing. So twists and turns cut to me in her apartment, eating a giant bowl of reheated Indian food and listening to the most Gonzo sales pitch I ever heard in my life. And she's just got this chart, and she's drawing graphs and throwing paper and saying, you do this. It's a 50% increase in sales, and this, and this. And she's just manic. And she's like, you do this at $25 million. Is that enough for you to live on $25 million? I'm like, all my head, I'm just like, get out of here. You've made a mistake. So I kind of let her down real easy so she wouldn't stab me with a pen or something. So I got like, you know what? Let's make a menu of everything that you're saying and look like a price point. And I'll just kind of alacard it. Like right now I can't make any decisions, but spoiler alert, that $25 million sounds like promising. But I got to get out of here. Thanks. She's like, that's awesome. So I leave. Like, man, I dodged the bullet. She goes directly to the float center, shows up. Hey, Zach just had the meeting with Jay. It was amazing. And I'm the new general manager. And we got to start making some changes starting right now. So these are the changes she made. So feel free as float center owners to take any of them and use them, because they're really great. So she says the shoe rack, the coats, it's just too much. We're going to get rid of that right away. We're a place with white towels in the middle of winter in Canada. Awesome, great idea. So she's also like, I come in here and then just no information. I don't know where anything is. I know you guys have the brochures right there and that nice little holder, but it's too hard to find. Like, I'm here, it's over there. So she takes them all, and she puts like one, like dominoes, look like a book signing or something or just everywhere. She's like, yeah, now people can come in here and just be like, I need some, oh, got some information. She's like, that 50% increase in sales. We have local businesses leave business cards there. She's like, this is much too organized. She grabbed the bowl and just dumped them all in there. So it was like a salad bowl of business cards. I guess thinking like people would be digging through, looking for a chiropractor and find a rakey master, and be like, oh, yeah, why not? So double the local business sales too while she's at it. And then she started talking about changing the lights and that's exactly like, okay, this is, I don't know if Jay hired her. It's like, kind of shut, she shuts it down. It's like, why don't we just kind of leave it for now? I think we got lots to work with here. She's like, you know, you're right. Meal, I'm at work going, dodge the bullet, no idea this is happening. Um, she goes home and just like can't sleep. So she shows up the next day during our deep clean, Hannah's there, holding it down. She shows up in a fur coat like Cruella DeVille with all these bags. And you ever been to a dollar store and it's like, who buys this trinkety shit? She does, she bought all of it and brought to the float center. So there's like angel candles and dream catchers and like believe and like people brought no less than 70 tealight candles and just put them out like a music video in there. It's ridiculous. And she starts changing the furniture and putting blankets, places and Hannah's just like, what is happening? But like, this is my favorite one and make really feel free to use this one. She said, you know, your tampons are just so phallic. You know, it could trigger victims of sexual assault. So you know what we're gonna do? I got these really funky ones. They got crazy funky wrappers. So we're gonna replace them all with this. And she was so pleased with that that she started untaking the wrappers off and then wrapping our lights in tampon wrappers. Now at this point, I'm just waking up of a night shift and I look at my phone, it's like 300 missed messages. And I'm just like scrolling through these pictures with like Hannah every now and then going, is there boundaries to these changes? And I'm just like, oh my God. And it's like my hair's turning white. And I'm like, I'm scared to have a heart attack. And I'm just like texting her rapidly. Stop, just stop. I don't know what, where you got this information or why you thought I wanted this, but just please stop. She immediately texts me back. You know, obviously you have no vision. You don't appreciate what I'm doing. Consider this me formally withdrawing my services, never contact me again. And PS, I'm blocking you. Mic drop, never heard from her again. I'm glad one of those, right? All right, last up for you guys here. We have from all the way in Denver, Colorado, actually the shortest distance of all of them. So you get no respect for that. From just across the highway, Denver, Colorado here. Paul and Heather Cliff, Samana Float Center. Give it up. Hi guys, Ashconn introduced us. So we're Paul and Heather from Samana Float Center, Denver, Colorado. We have a pretty funny story. I wanted to go last cause I thought I was gonna kill it, but I don't think that's gonna happen after those two stories. So bear with me, but the other night we were out to dinner with Lauren who we brought with us and we were trying to practice our talk and thinking like, what should we do? And she came up with a great industry wide knock-knock joke that I wanna share with everybody. So we all know how knock-knock works, right? You know how knock-knock jokes, yeah. Knock-knock. Knock-knock. Knock-knock. This is Heather from up front. Your float ended about 25 minutes ago and I need to get that room, get in there and get that room turned over. Can you get out please? I got my four o'clock. Get it. Does everyone get it? Yeah. Okay. Okay. So here's our story. We were gonna do, we wanted to do construction cause you know, that's like two, everybody has awesome stories about construction. Our facility has two levels to it. So we have a mezzanine upstairs that we had to do, cabins. When you go through the process with this and you're thinking about everything but you forget a ton of stuff as we all do. We picked a really bad contractor who was not the best, best decision. So our landlord was really cool. He was like, yeah, man, we're gonna get this set up for you guys. We're gonna make this happen. We get our tanks ordered and he's looking at them and he said, how much do these weigh? And I was like, I don't know man, like maybe a bathtub. And I just clicked in my head. What he was trying to say was these are going up on a mezzanine. How much is this gonna weigh? So I proceeded to spend the next three days trying to figure out load calculations on trusses that I don't know how to do. I never came up with the same number twice. So I finally land on a number. I'm like, this one works. I like this number. This makes sense. This is good. We're good. We're totally safe. We're totally safe. So we go to bed that night and I'm like, I'm really proud of you doing those load calculations. Paul, that took a lot of work. Good job. And I said, but what happens if we get like a 400 pound floater? Which I didn't put in the calculations. And I said, well, they're floating. They're floating. And I'm like, duh. Yeah, it doesn't matter. Yeah, they're floating. And then I proceeded to stay up for like two more hours. I was like, is that right? So I called the architect the next day. I'm like, dude, what if we get a 400 pound person? He said, no, man, they're floating. They're floating. I was like, sweet. Yeah, we're in good hands. So now we're gonna cut to two, three weeks later. The tanks are full. Salt's in. We're getting ready to open our doors. I'm feeling really proud of us, you know? Oh, we were a full contractor so many times. But I couldn't because I had to go home with him. But I'm walking into work and I'm so happy and I'm so proud of our center. And I see, we have to walk down this hallway. We're kind of in like a multi-use building. I'm walking down our hallway and I see my landlord charging at me saying, the float center's flooding. The float center's flooding. And I'm like, oh, shit. I totally freeze. Most people would go into the float center to see the catastrophe of cabins falling through this mezzanine. I don't. I don't. I see water everywhere. And my first instinct is to drop down and taste the water. And I do that. Ari is looking at me like, what the hell is she doing? I taste the water and I'm like, ah, Ari, this is not magnesium water. I would know. This is sewer water. So I'm gonna go brush my teeth and I'm gonna let you take care of this. That's my story.