 It's a unique hustle, big shit, big shit, big shit, it's a unique hustle, big shit, big shit, big shit, big shit, name another podcast like this. Check it, check it, check it, it's a unique hustle, it's your boy, your CEO, and I'm here with the lovely, amazing, official, beautiful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Miss Jamaica, what's going on? I'm a damn walk on. Hey man, we got a special guest today. She don't really need an introduction, man. She down here in Atlanta with us, guys. You know, already it's about to go down, man. Miss Era, is it Erin Nicole Williams? Erin Nicole Williams. And she's a life coach, guys. And what you got to understand is she brought us a book today, dating, devotions of survival that we're going to take it back to Dallas with us. We're going to send it to our collection. Oh, good. We're so excited about it. And not only, it says a day journey to a closer relationship with God. And let me tell you something, man, every day you got to try to get closer to God. So I definitely know that this book here, hey, it got to be right because when you start putting God in it, oh, it's about something about to happen. See, we, you know, y'all know, y'all know with Pete, you know, my boy, PGF shouting him who actually, you know, blessed us to be here in their place today, putting God first. That's what it stands for. You know what I'm saying? Anytime you add God to something, you about to start some things. You can't start nothing without putting God in it. That's right. Wow. So what inspired you to say, hey, I'm going to write a book? Really just life in general. It's a story about growing up and being a mom at 16, becoming a mom again at 18 and being a mom again of triplets at the age of 23. So 23 years old. Wow, triplets? Yes, at 23 years old, I was a mom of five. 23 years old. Let's go back. Let's go back. We always like to start back. Let's go back to when you were a young child growing up and you said New Orleans. Yeah, I was raised in New Orleans. I was born in New Orleans, raised in New Orleans, but I did come out to Atlanta. But how old were you when you moved? I was in grade school, so I would say like maybe middle school time. Okay, so do you remember being in New Orleans? Oh, yeah, definitely. So you were living with your mom and dad? Mom. Mom. Mom only because, you know, dad had a wife. Mom was, you know, a side girl. Yeah, as we would say these days, the side chick. Yeah, I like that. We being real, damn. We're going to keep up with 100. Yeah, we're going to keep up with 100. So did she only have one child with him? Yes. Okay, how many siblings do you have? By my mom, two. Two, and your dad? By my dad, two that I know of, but it's maybe like three or four that suspect, you know, that could possibly be his as well. Were you ever, since she was a side chick, were you ever able to build a relationship with your father? Not like I wanted to. That was the biggest problem because I was hidden until the age of 30 by his wife, from his wife. From his wife. Yeah, from his wife. So she didn't find out until I was 30 years old. That's a well kept secret. It is. It was a well kept secret, but the crazy thing about it is, you know, his family knew. Everybody knew but the wife. But the wife? Yes. Wow. I'm sure she suspected something. She had to. It's just no way. You know, now that I'm a woman myself, it's just no way in the world that you can get away with that. And I know. Do you see the signs? Because I've heard of a lot of things that happen in society. And sometimes you see the signs, but you know how you brush it off because you just don't want to believe it. Yeah. So you convince yourself that it is not so. Right. You know, but I know a lot of old school women who be like, as long as he's coming home to me, I don't care what he do. He pays the bills. He does this. He does that. Yeah. I don't care. Yeah, they had that mentality back in the day. I don't think the woman now are going for that. But a lot of women, you know, as long as they were taken care of, like you said, you know, they probably didn't have an education. They didn't really have like nowhere else to go. So they dealt with it. Well, you know, like, you got me on the panel. So, you know, I'm not going to really just let you sit up here and act like, you know, that the man was so just manipulative. No, no, no. We're not saying that. Let me say this, man. We all, we all have seen this come short, very short of glory of God. Right. And you got to understand something. There's flaws in a man just like those flaws in a woman. And if a man and a woman lay down together and he didn't rape her, then it was consensual. So therefore they are making these decisions together. And don't say unbeknownst to me because at the end of the day, we don't know. Maybe your mama knew about it. And she was cool with it when it first jumped off. I don't, I don't, you know, deny that. You see what I'm saying? You can't just say you got to be, let's be real. This boss talk 101. Yeah. You know, I had a home girl back in the day. And she used to go with my other partner and she knew he was married. And she would jump in the car with him. Soon as the man will leave home and go to work, he'd take up with him and they'd go places and get a little hotel room and spend about, they wouldn't buy the whole day. You could get two hours for $20 or something. Yeah. Yeah. You get your two hours and you can go on and just, you know, basically have a great time for two hours and she knew it. But then end up, you know, being, you know, he left and she went and told the wife. You see what I'm saying? Or be a bastard child. Let's talk about a bastard child for a minute. A bastard child is a child that so-called the dad is not in his life or they don't know the daddy, but it was a one night stand. You know, these things are not happening just by a man taking advantage of a woman. But these are things that people are doing together. We know that basically God is not in the midst of it. It's called fornication and at the end of the day and it's adultery mixed in with fornication. And it's not just a one party thing. When you go into the book of John, it says that she in chapter eight was called in the very act. It didn't bring a man, but they brought a woman in the woman. They come bringing about a arm and they say, Jesus, what should we do to this woman? They called her in the very act of adultery and she was getting down with the get down. You know what I'm talking about? She was having relations with a man that was either married or herself was married and they brought her over and Jesus bent down and wrote on the ground. She always wanted that. I always wondered why they never took the man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, what they try to make a point. He committed adultery as well. Yeah, but they're trying to make a point. We're trying to let you know that these women be being trifling sometimes. Yeah, you don't want to lie. It's a few occasions in there. You see that when you go over into the book chapter four, just a few chapters back, it says a woman that Jesus met out of Wales. Say she had five husbands and the one she went now was not even a husband. So this was a whore. This woman was a Harley. She was running around having sex with different men. So don't get on this panel and act as if women is just holding down. I'm just talking about the word of God. Now y'all don't have to get mad at me. Okay. He had the reminders. Keep going. No, no, no. Okay. I was headed into Jezebel next over in King El. Do not play with me on this panel because it's going to be real today. At the end of the day, we know already that our people are sparring out of control, especially the black community when it comes down to holding down a family. So we know that there's issues, embedded issues that come from a place that there's, we call it dysfunctionalities. We call it mental illnesses where the family is disconnected and I believe it derived back into, even goes into slavery and the way that we were stripped apart from our mates when our ancestors were stripped apart and a man was pretty much brought by a white man or a child or family and he would rip that family apart, rape that woman and basically would, I read a book where a woman was eight months pregnant and they killed the woman and the baby, they cut the baby out the woman's stomach and the baby was eight, you know, she was eight months pregnant, the baby's cried one time and the master stumped his head. I think I heard that story before. Okay. So we know that this here is what we're coming from is what I'm telling you. So we cannot get caught up in what we're dealing with now and look at the hindsight as if it did not matter because it does matter. It mattered for everybody else that went through traumatic situations in their past history. No reparations was given for the black people. So we cannot sit here and act as if there is not something going on. The big yellow elephant in the room has to be exposed in the fact that our people have been through a lot. Oh yeah, we have. I didn't mean to drop it on y'all today. I was going to try to be nice, but y'all got me in rare form today. Yeah, I'm ready. Yeah, you already know it though. So let's get back to what we were talking about. I took him to Bible study for a minute y'all. Don't blame me, I'm just a messenger. You know what I'm saying? So with your father being where he was, did you get to see him at all? Did you ever get to... I did get to spend some time with him, not like... Did he support you financially? For a period of time he did. You know, even though he was married and he was in a relationship with my mom, they had a really close relationship. I mean, he was at my mom's house more so than he was at his own wife's house. Okay. And you know, my mom already had a daughter, my older sister and my father had a son by his wife and they would actually come to the house, you know, he would bring his son over and they would play together. So we, you know, it was like a... So you know, we got to back that thing up like juvenile. What did you just say? Well, my mom had a daughter already. Okay. Two, actually. And my father had two sons by his wife. He would bring the sons, his sons over to my mom's house to hang out with us. And the sons didn't go back and tell mom at all about what was going on. No, it was loyalty to the father. So yeah, so he did not go back and tell mom. That's pretty crazy because it looked like, you know, I have understood this because this is stuff that happens. I'm telling you. It happens, yeah. It happens frequently to be honest which is not something that... It's became a thing of the norm in this day. I'm being real. People... Having multiple families and keeping them separate. Well, you know, asshole in gold that we interviewed his dad. It was the preacher and the preacher. Yeah, he was... He didn't even know that was his dad. He couldn't even say dad or nothing. Metamed Krogos when he was 15 years old. And then he said, hey, hi son. And when he said, hi son, he said... But he didn't know that really was his son. He didn't know that really was his son. His son, but his son knew it because he had seen him pushing envelopes under the, you know, giving his mama money. But he wasn't a part of his life. He wasn't a part of his life. So when he approached him, he was like, don't call me daddy. Don't diss that. Correct. Wow. And so forth. But he wasn't the only outside child. Eventually they found out about it. He would jump in the congregation. Yeah, he'd been kicking it with all the people. What we say that, but it's happening a lot. It does. I've heard it. That's happening a lot. That minister that came on, he said that... Cornette, shout out to Charles Colbert. Pastor Charles Colbert. He said that these things happen all the time. And the first lady, want to be the first lady so bad that she ignores it just because she wants to be the first lady. So she'll let him do whatever he wants to do as long as she can sit up there by that pool pit and be called the first lady. Well, that's not me because I am a first lady. Well, I'm just telling you. No, no, no. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. If I throw a rock in the crowd and it didn't hit you, you don't need to say ouch. You know what I'm talking about. No. No, you good. But no, I just... So the book, let's talk about this. The book, how was the process in even writing this book? Go down that rabbit hole and just some of the people that's listening may want to understand how do you get to this point? Some people don't know how. Well, it's just a lot. Like I said, I was a teen mom at 16, again at 18, again at 23. So were they all different men or the same? No, I was married at 18. So you were married at 18? I did get married after my two daughters after I had birthed the two girls. I got married to their father and that was the triplets sons as well so that all my kids do have the same father. But when we married at 18, I got...the marriage became abusive. I mean it was a little abusive, you know, as teenagers, little things happen but you don't really pay attention to it. But once I became a wife at that time then the abuse just became so rampant and so I got to that point because I was in an abusive marriage and I had to escape. How long were you married for? About nine years. Nine years. Nine years. But when did the abuse start? Because, you know, it don't normally start right away. Well, it started a little bit when I met them in high school. You know, I got pregnant at 16. So it started a little bit in high school but it wasn't to the point where it was after the marriage. So you get a push here and, you know, a little possessiveness there but, you know, all 100% of, you know, like the real hardcore. I'm not saying that that's not abuse of push here and possessiveness. That's a red flag. But once we got married it just, you know, it was on a whole other level. You know, what's her name? Jennifer Lopez. And enough. I know. I love her. I love her. So let me ask you this. I got to ask you this because if I could talk to him I'd probably hear another story. You probably would. Here's what I want to ask you. See, because I always like to be the devil's advocate. I got to ask you, what did you feel that you could have done better in the relationship? Well, I mean at 16, 17, 18 years old I think that's, you know, I didn't know how to control my emotions and, you know, people, girls that age really don't. A lot of people don't know how to control their emotions at that point. You know, you're forced into situations that you're not even ready for. So that was the biggest part of it. And then you, you know, you're arguing about finances because nobody have no money, because nobody graduated from high school and, you know, you have to go work these mediocre jobs and you're struggling and it's just life, the pressure of life with these children, you know, come upon you and, of course, there will cause tension inside of a relationship. So it was a number of things. And also at 18 years old, nobody is ready to really be in a committed relationship. So he wasn't ready to be a husband. And, you know, he was acting his age, which was, you know, appropriate. And he was not ready to be anyone's husband at that time. So it was just a lot of different things. Well, I believe both of you guys would have been, you know, I'm the worst one to be doing an interview with you because I believe both of y'all, both being young, you being having to deal with a dysfunctional situation coming up in your life because we only know what we learn coming up. Exactly. So when you went into that relationship, you had been used to your mama being there with a man that wasn't fully there for her. Right. So you had to understand, understand me this until you can forgive yourself and forgive all the situations around you. You can't redevelop. You see what I'm saying? Right. So redevelopment comes when you're able to let go of things because you can't make room for other things until you let go of the things that are holding you down. Right. And a lot of, I think at the reason why I ended up in a situation like that, stems from, you know, the trauma that took place in my life. That's right. Before I was dealing with a lot of rejection. And it was just so much, you know, that I didn't receive as a child from my father. Yeah. And I was looking for those things inside of this person. And sometimes, you know, you will be on the brink of death, which I was on just trying to feel a void, you know, inside of your life. And that's, that's how that book kind of, you know, I want to ask about how rough he got with you. Yeah. I mean, how rough I want to go into detail if you don't mind. Okay. I'm definitely can go into detail. I mean, the instance of the most horrific situation. The most horrific was, I mean, I was kidnapped before. You was kidnapped. By Night Point. Yeah. By him. Yes. By him. This was after. That's after you left. That's after I left. That's one of the, you know, instances, but I mean, I remember being choked out, completely passing out, being choked out. I mean, having to cover up black eyes going to work. So I, you know, I will always have black eyes. I've been pushed downstairs. You know, I was locked in closets for a period of times. You know, it was just so many different things. I was, I was beat with things and, you know, he wanted to do it in front of the children because he didn't want the children to respect me either. And so it was just a lot of stuff that was not, you know, that was going on that no woman should have to go. Is this something that he saw his father due to his mother? Because sometimes it trickles down. I mean, now that I know more, yeah, definitely his father was abusive. He had a, you know, alcoholism issue with the mother. The mother was a mom at 14. And, you know, they were in an abusive situation because they were, you know, young having children too. So I think he's just seen a lot growing up. And so I think he didn't know how to handle women outside, how he handled women was abusing women. Have you gotten your kids counseling because they did see some of this? Um, the two oldest girls, they never received like, you know, like therapy for it, but we have had conversations. You don't want them to end up in the same situation. Right. And now the oldest one is 24. The other one is 22. And, you know, I've seen some things that I know where it stems from, you know, the type of relationships a man that they're picking, you know, and they don't have a good relationship with their father right now. They really don't have one. So I know the generational curse is continuing to ripple through your life. Yes. But we are praying against that, you know, and so I'm proud of them that they, you know, graduated college and, you know, they don't have any children. They're just me by pouring into them at this point. I'm trying to have them unlearn things that they learned, you know, growing up and trying to show them the right way to go. You know what, what I really look at is boy, I tell you, we, we put our little shirts on and we, we, we act our little part as civilized Americans. Um, you know, that's what we do. Um, but, but you know, we're, we're covering up. We're, we're covering up. The state of who we are by saying, okay, we're able to deal with society the same way that our white constituencies do. I'm going to say this, but you, your white constituencies didn't, they didn't, you went through way different circumstances in them. And then when you watch the dunk, you watch different shows, you think that you, you in your heart feel like, okay, um, you know, I suppose to do my marriage like this. I suppose to do my, uh, everything that I've seen done, I'm going to have that type of lifestyle, but you still have embedded issues in your background, in your parents background, as black African Americans, you still have stuff in, Jamaicans, well, whoever, when you start coming off slave ships, it's a whole different level. When you trying to figure out how to fight a whole different devil. So you setting up trying to figure out how to fight a devil in the same way that your white constituencies do. So when they go to work and put their shirt on, and they show up at their job location, and they show up in their homes in the evening, you feel like, okay, we can run ours the same way, but there's a lot of deep bedded issues that never got taken care of in your past. And you set up and you talk these talks and you try to understand the same way they do, but it's not going to be the same, but, but we try to fight it the same way. We all do it. So at the end of the day, we got to try to find a way to be real with ourselves for who we are, what we've been through, so that we can start challenging those facts and be better family oriented people as black African Americans, Jamaican Americans, or whoever, when you've been through a lot, your people been through a lot though, acting like they ain't been through a lot. Yeah. Am I right? It's a lot of trauma in our history. Yeah. And then on top of that, you're watching the news and it's depicting your people as if they gorilla's to be honest with you. You're watching the news and you think all of your people is crazy because they're going to depict that. And it's biased. It's very biased. So we have to be careful how we attack our own people. Yeah. But the thing that I wanted to say is that a lot of times people always act like it can't be changed, like it can't be broken. The cycle can be broken. That change can be broken. Yeah. Because I have seen many people who have been through parents, grandparents have been through very horrific things. And they are now with the great parents. They poured, as you said, poured into their children, you know, everything about God, how to run your life in a manner that you don't pass on negativity to your generation because you're supposed to live your life not only for your kids, but for your kids' kids because it passes down into your blood. Right. Well, I know that God can change things because I've been married to you for almost 20 years and I've seen my daddy and mama fight every weekend. I've seen my daddy shoot at my mama in the same house me and you fixing up right now. Yeah, I've seen my... Yeah, every week, every... Yeah, we went from house to house. Yeah, I've seen uncles beat women all the time. Have I beaten you ever in life? Have I touched you in 20 years? Okay, so we know that God can change things. Yeah, definitely. But we just got to be able to understand that it has to be God in the center of it in order for it to change. Exactly. And it starts with a decision, too. Well, it starts with God. Yeah, you're right. It starts with a decision. I'm just saying God... Everything starts in your mind. Would it stay on the wall at the house with God? All things are what? Possible. All things are possible. And, you know, that's why I'm here because of God. So, through all the stuff that I went through, those are personal stories. When I was... When I finally was able to leave that abuse of marriage and I was a single mother for several years. And how old were you when you left? So, I was probably around 26, 25, 26. With the five kids. Yeah, with the five kids. That's when the divorce was final. So, I was separated and trying to escape, but I say it was final, final, around 25, 26 years old. And so, I was raising five kids by myself, but so many women were staying in that situation because they wouldn't know how to maneuver or they would be too afraid or they didn't... It wasn't educated or they didn't have the money. So, they would just tolerate, you know, abuse. And I just refused to do that. I just wanted something different for my kids. So, whatever it took, I mean, I had triplets. They were one pound at birth. They were born at 25 weeks and the doctor said that they will... They won't make it, but because of the grace of God, they're still here. And they're 17 years old right now. They don't have any major issues or anything like that. So, I took my three sons and my two daughters and we were, you know, trucking it basically. We was apartment to apartment. You know, I had a lot of repossessions. I went through a lot of different things, but one thing I didn't do was give up. And so, the book came when I was at a bullpen. And you didn't give up because of your faith that you were holding on to or... I didn't give up because of my faith because God told me. He showed me something when I was in my early 20s. I knew I was going to have a different life, but I didn't know how it was going to come about. Like, He told me in my early 20s that I was going to be a pastor's wife. But I was just like, how is that possible? Because look at my life, you know, I'm in a abusive marriage. I mean, my life didn't look nothing like what God was showing me. So I just held on to what He told me, you know, all those years. And when I was in a food pantry, I used to pick up devotionals, and that would help me kind of get through, you know, because I was just going through so much. We didn't have any food, and so I would have to go get help from different places. And God told me to write that book inside of that food pantry. I got the idea for the book. He said, write about your own stories and devotionals, because devotionals will help me, you know, get through my... So you wanted to help others? So I wanted to help other women by using my personal stories. And so it's a 30-day devotional, basically. You know, you read it one devotional a day, and you know, that's the help you get through. And how old were you when you wrote that? I started writing in 2016. So it wasn't, you know, it wasn't... You self-published? Yeah, it's independent. Everything is self-published or whatever. So I completed everything by 2020. Of course, life back and forth. You know, I wasn't able to complete until 2020, but I got married again in 2019. Awesome. And I was able to publish it right after that. That's why I believe that God put us through situations, no matter how horrific your situation is. It's a lesson to be learned, not really by you, but for others. Yeah. Because if you don't go through anything, how are you going to be able to help somebody? Because some people are like, how can you advise me? You've never been through what I've been through. That's a lot of people's mentality. You know what I mean? Because you can't imagine, how can you help me? So God put us through these things to grow, to learn, and to know how to help others. Yeah. I really believe that. I believe that's why I went through so much, because I used to be crying all the time. And I'm like, God, why am I going through this? Because people's life wasn't like that. People had normal lives. My life was very abnormal. People that you did not know. Right. Right. And I was just like, why am I going through this? But he said, you're going through this for others. You're not going through this because of yourself. Because I'm going to be using you to be a force. You know, I think that's great. And I definitely commend you for being a pillar. Because you're able to now help others who go through abusive relationships. Oh, yeah. You're able to tap into places where certain people can't tap into. Right. That's why God, he doesn't let you go through things for no reason. Okay. That's how he works. Yeah. And so I just thank God for you being able to get it together enough to where now you can snatch others out of the fire. Yeah, definitely. It's just so many women that go through so much. But I really focus on self-worths because I think a lot of women go through unnecessary things because they don't know their worth and their value. And the only way that you're really going to know is if you know who your father is and your identity is through him. So you can't let the world tell you who you are. You got to, you know, allow God to show you who you are and tell you. And that's when you know you will be on the right path because, you know, women just, we already know, we on social media, we see all the buffoonery and all the foolishness that go on. You know, I just seen something with little baby and, you know, the Danny chick or whatever. And, you know, I don't listen to his music, but I've seen it because it's everywhere. And I say it's so unfortunate. She knew her worth. She, you know, she wouldn't allow these different situations, but we have to live and learn. But it's, it's important for women, older women to go and help the younger women to pull them out of the fire. It spirals out of control because of a lot of times we get so caught up in our everyday life that we, we become people that just look out for ourselves. Yeah. You know, people don't want to, yeah, that's their business. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. But as people, and I'm going to people in men or women, a lot of times we need to learn how to yes, give advice or yes, try to help somebody, but say what you need to say and leave them alone. Yeah. Because sometimes we tend to, because we care. No, you need to do this. You need to do that. Try to push it. Yeah. Try to push it because you know what you're telling them is correct. Yeah. But if you realize that that person keep going through the same thing over and over, no matter what you keep telling them, because God needs for them to learn a lesson sometimes on their own. Sometimes they got to hit rock bottom. Yeah. And you're looking at somebody's life and be like, but they're at rock bottom. But no, they have to go even lower than that. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. To really realize and like for me, my prayer to anybody is always that don't take their life because once you're here, no matter what you're going through, you have a chance to change, to learn that lesson and make a difference. Yeah. Definitely. That's big. That's what we should do, you know, as women. So that's part of the reason why I started Wife Tribe. I love it. I love it. Wife. Wife what? Wife Tribe. And explain to us what Wife Tribe is. Wife Tribe is a community that I founded. It's for a single, engaged and married woman. You know, when I graduated with the certification and coaching, I was really trying to find my niche. And you know, my coaching is like a plethora of different type of coaching that I do. But I said, let me boil it down to one specific thing. So I wanted to focus on marriage, you know, because it's just like a lot of people are struggling in a marriage and a lot of people are struggling trying to get to marriage. So I said, let me focus on that area. Because that's a big area, especially out here in Atlanta. You know, a lot of women are looking for husbands. Why do you think it's so hard? In Atlanta, it's a lot of reasons. Because I was single in Atlanta for about, what, 13, 14 years? Well, why do you think that is? Let's be honest. I mean, part of the reason is that the women are too desperate. They're desperate. They're too, the women are too desperate. And they're willing to tolerate, they're willing to do too much too soon. And the men know that and they take full advantage of that. But is this a tug of war? Is this a game that's being played between a woman and a man? And see, because it's crazy to me how we look at things, but there's a lot of different times when you look, there's a lot of different issues, right? There's a lot of different times when there, is there a men shortage? It is a man that, that's a part of it too. You know, they say a lot about the gay community out here. You know, you have a lot of men out here that are gay and that are down low. So that's a part of it, you know, as well. Wait a minute, what, down low? Yeah, down low. So that means that they are, you know, in, you know, the hourly they are supposed to be, you know, liking women, I guess, but then, you know, behind closed doors, they like, they do something else, you know, they like, man, and I've been in situations where I was with a friend, a guy friend and he, when we were together, he, a guy in the young lady walked through the door and he said, I just slept with him last night. Wow. Yeah. And he was with his girl, you know, we were in the driver's license place. I'll never forget that. So it's a lot of that, that goes on, you know, that's happening out here in Atlanta. So, you know, the pickings are really small, I would, you know, out here, that's a big part of it. Wow. It's just sad because it's, it's just being, being manipulated by the devil is something else, you know. Yeah. The whole situation, it's a spirit that sweeps through the nation and causes people to look at things from a crazy perspective because of what they see and what they, what they're being introduced to. Yeah. And also, you know, the woman too, like you have a lot of smart women out here. You have a lot of bosses out here. You have a lot of women with money out here, real educated. And they just, you know, are doing a doggone thing and they're not willing to just take anybody either. And so they might have some men out here, but if you're not fitting a certain description that will fit, you know, their lifestyle, then they won't even give you a chance to. Let's talk about that for a minute because there is, this same thing is serious cause you just said some, they got money. Right. And they pretty much became leaders in their own way. Right. So it could be so manipulative to the fact that they could be using men for sex. Right. Hanging out with different men that they can manipulate and just using them just for that. And then going back to their well-established, whatever, careers and homes. And they're cool with that. You see what I'm saying? This is what can happen. If you got the women pretty much, like you say they are up. They dominate right now. There you go. So they don't need no man, huh? They become like a man so much so that they are men. That's part of the issue too. You know, when I was growing up, cause I was the biggest tomboy growing up. So everything I did, I was competing against a man, against a boy. That's why you compete against me so much now? Yeah. Let's not get into that. We can take it there if you want to. No, but to the point where every time, like even in seeing woman truck drivers, I was so happy cause I was like, more power. You know what I mean? So, but I remember in college and cause I went to Christian school. So we always had to do Bible classes. And I remember one day I was reading about women being submissive. And when I started looking at a generation that we were in where you had more men staying at home, playing video games and more women were going out and working and, you know, being independent and being like, yeah, I wear the pants. I do this. I do that. You know, he's just this, this, this and this. And I'm like, you are making it bad on yourself. And you turn around and blame the man that he's not playing the role, but you're, you're not allowing him to. Right. You know what I mean? You're belittling him. Like no matter how much you can do, you need to know your place. I agree. And you need to, when I say that some women might get offensive. Right. But when I say that, you know, just like I said, you're a very successful man. There is a woman. You have to know how to do certain things. Right. You can still get your education, still have your terrific job and so forth. But when you come home. They don't have anything to do with your household. Exactly. Right. You know what I mean? You're rolling inside your house. Exactly. So, and that, and that's how I learned that. I think there's a big issue with that. I think, I think women who a lot of times go through those situations have a big issue trying to decipher between the two. I think that you get caught up just like a police officer who goes out and look at all these different homicides daily and he pretty much in shootouts. And then he pretty much goes over here and he have to go cause a little girl was kidnapped and he found her inside a building. And then one day he ends up stopping somebody and shooting them in an accident. And it's a perfectly innocent situation. But it's because of everything that was staged before that. It causes it just to ride right on into that situation. You know what I mean? So, I think that plays a big part. I think we don't understand that man, hey man, when you start influencing something and dealing with something in a certain way and you put on this machoism as the man. It goes home with you. Just like a man takes it home with him when he works all the time. And all those situations he deal with, he ends up bringing it to the house with him because he's overwhelmed. And I think that plays a major part for me. I understand that, you know, we say multi-tasking and all that, but come on, man. You know, it's tough. Society tells, you know, the black man, go look at unemployment rates on the brothers. Go look. I mean, you know, I know I've worked in corporate America now on the same job for over 20 some years. And I can tell you for a fact, we hire sisters a lot more in higher positions than we do brothers. But that's taken away from her household. That's taken her away from her children. And that is the breakdown of, you know, the black family because we are so out of whack and so out of place. And that's why, you know, more other cultures, I wanted to say white people, but other cultures really understand, you know, what families the dynamic is supposed to be like. They don't have a problem with being home. They don't have a problem with not being a boss. I'm not saying it's something wrong with being a boss or anything like that. But these women focus more so like on their children and, you know, the next generation. How to help the family and not just to help them. Of course. The white people can do that just per se because they built this country on your back. Yeah. Your husband, your so-called would have been husbands, would have been in way better situations if they grandpa, grandpa, grandpa hadn't had a head slain. So this year is this, but we hate to talk about that. Yeah. We always try to deny that. And that's sad because at the end of the day, I know you can't go back and change it, but you got to start realizing where you come from. Why do you think you read the genealogies in the Bible? Why do we read as 42 generations to get to Jesus, if you're a believer? Why? If it's not important. So why would we start looking back down at rabbit hole? They tell us to get over it. I disagree. I don't think we should get over it. I think we should learn from it. And I think we should definitely do things different, moving forward. All I'm saying is, man, we got a long ways to go. And I know that. And that's why I come out being a black business owner for so many years. And I've always loved my people no matter what, even though if they acted a fool, I still love them through it because I know already, I understand that there's trauma and they've been through a lot. They may not understand it, but God's giving me an all-seeing eye to say, hey, that person and that guy, that girl, they've been through it. So I got to be here for them. Period. Yeah. I mean, I agree with that. So I'm doing my part by, you know, found in the wife job and it's supposed to help women. I like that. You know, a system in becoming virtuous women, like what they really look like, because so many people don't really know what a wife's supposed to be. They don't really have an idea. They're looking out at the world. They're looking at movies and TV and they're trying to figure out, you know, who they are. And because they didn't have that at home with their mother. Right. They didn't have that growing up. Showing them what a wife should be because whether their mother wasn't a wife, number one or just wasn't at home. Yeah, definitely. And so I just wanted to help the woman, you know, my goal is just to help the woman assist them in becoming virtuous wife so they can attract the single woman can attract the type of men that they desire. And that if you're already married and you still don't know how to be, because just because you married, that don't mean that you are, you know how to be a wife. And so, you know, It's an ever learning situation. We all don't know. Right. Okay. Marriage is not easy. Not at all. But it is so possible to have a very happy, successful marriage with both of you learning each other and learning how to be happy with each other and learning to compromise and always keeping for us, always keeping God in the middle of our relationship because and not being, if you're angry today, don't go home and carry that over into the next day and the next day and the next day. But you have to look at certain things, you know, like he could come to you and start an argument and you don't realize that it's the person who he dealt with two minutes ago that made him angry and then all of a sudden he's laughing at you and he's thinking you did. But all of a sudden, you know, if you have an argument and I can tell people all the time and I've said this every single show is how you perceive something. A lot of arguments start from a wrong perception. You say something and you didn't mean it to me in a certain way and I took it offensively. But I didn't have to take it offensively. I could have changed my thinking and took it in a different way for it not to mess up my mood. You know what I mean? Because I can't change you. I can only change myself. Right, exactly. And that's the thing, like you know that you can't change the other person. That's the one thing. You can't change the other person. But yeah, you know, White Tribe is just a community because married people need community for survival too. Where can we get this book? Well, it's everywhere actually right now. It's on Amazon. It's on all bornthenoables.com. You can find it anywhere online. But it's also on my website, theofficialwifetribe.com. Okay, and how can people get a hold of you? I am on all social media platforms. So I'm on Facebook, The Official Wife Tribe, Instagram, The Official Wife Tribe. Also... TikTok? Yeah, well Wife Coach era on TikTok. So I do, I'm a Wife Coach. That's my niche that I'm doing right now. But Wife Coach era on Instagram and TikTok. Tell me about your most successful story. My most successful story? As in helping a woman through her situation to become a successful wife. To become a successful wife. Oh, well, I mean like it was, it was a young girl that I knew who was on the verge. Like she packed her bags up. She was like ready to go, you know, and her bags was at the door and you know, just gave her the book basically. And you know, well not that particular book, but it was a book called the prayers of the husband. What is it called? Stormy Orton. You ever heard of that book before? It's a prayer book for your husband, like different prayers that you can pray for your husband or whatever. And just go through that book. You know. He's looking at me like you need to get it. Yeah, kind of join a other woman in the book club and we kind of talk it over and give women open tips on how to, you know, deal with certain certain situations like, you know, and preventing her from like leaving her husband. So they're actually in good shape right now. They're not going to divorce court. So she decided to stay and, you know, believe God that how marriage can work. Awesome man. Oh man. Thank you so much, man. I tell you, man, you bet you bless our platform and we appreciate you for coming on it. I appreciate the invite. Amen. It's Erin Nicole Williams. She has a book, man, called Daily Devotion of Survival. And hey, man, she's dope guys. You guys need to pick this book up under the dopest books out. And one of the core statements I seen when I was scrolling through it was the scripture, if any man being Christ is a new creature, all things are passed away. Behold, all things become new. And I thought that was great because that's one of my defining scriptures for a defining moment. So thank you so much for coming on Boss Talk 101, man. I appreciate it. And another great segment of Boss Talk 101. And we have.