 So, today we're going to talk about beautiful signs he's all in and loyal to you. If you've been following my channel for a while, you know I'm a big proponent of all-in relationships. What is an all-in relationship? It's effectively means I'm all-in. In other words, good or bad, sickness and health, you know, dealing with the emotional craps of relationship, I am all-in in this relationship. And when someone is all-in, they are rather loyal to you in a relationship. Now when we think of loyalty, I want you to think of the word trust, trust. See, love is synonymous with trust. Trust is basically saying, this other person I'm mated with, I have their best interest at heart. I have their best interest at heart. Now that's not about being a doormat to another person, because you can have their best interest at heart at a compromise of your own best interest. So I'm here to say, this isn't, this is about maintaining your sovereignty and having your best interest for another person. That is real trust. And when you have the best interest for another human being, you are rather loyal to that. But what causes someone to be loyal? What causes someone to be all-in in a relationship? Well, I think, and we're going to cover some really key points here in a moment. But I think first and foremost, if you're a woman following my channel, you're a man following my channel, one of the fundamental principles is that you want an all-in relationship. In other words, you're in the dating marketplace, not seeking companionship, not, excuse me, you're not only seeking companionship, you're not only seeking connection, you're not only seeking physical intimacy, and you are absolutely seeking an all-in relationship commitment with another human being. See, in our current dating environment, particularly because of the swipe environment, we see a propensity of hookups, friends with benefits, situationships, or the predominant form of relationship today, which is casual relationships. Cual relationships, situationships, friends with benefits, and hookups now represents more than the amount of married people out there or those in serious relationships. I believe here in the United States, we have something like 120 million singles, 120 million singles. Within that group, there are some people that, I mean, of course, that excludes married people. In that group, there are some people who are in a serious relationship, meaning they're still quite technically single on their tax return, but they are in a serious relationship. However, that's a small percentage of those in relationships. As they said before, hooking up casual relationships, friends with benefits is the predominant for the reasons I'm about to share today. Now, I want to quickly tell you the story of a person. By the way, please forgive me. My coffee mug says, don't make me go all psycho roommate on you. I promise not to on my weekend videos or my Sunday video. Let me tell you the quick story of a person who was in a long distance relationship with someone. Now, she traveled. She lived in Los Angeles. He lived in Texas. She traveled to him quite a bit. In fact, she always was making the effort to go see him. And they were seeing each other regularly. And he occasionally came out to see her, and this went on for a year. And during one of their visits, and by the way, excuse me, early in their relationship, they said, if anyone of us feels like we need to see other people, we'll be honest with one another. Sure enough, a year into this dynamic, she found out he was seeing someone else because he wasn't happy with this long distance dynamic, but he didn't speak up. He wasn't loyal to the agreement. You see, that's what loyalty is, is when you agree on something, you stick to that agreement. And it's because they're not in an all-in relationship. So I'm here to say, you have an invitation. You have an opportunity to look at your life. Do you want casual situations, friends with benefits or hookups? Do you want something serious or marriage? And only speak to those who are in the same boat as you. So here is how we differentiate the man or woman who will be loyal and all in. And I want to have you ever heard in real estate, they always say, location, location, location. OK, location, location, location. OK, in our world, it's character, character and character. Character, character and character. Character is about being an emotional grown-up when dating, being an emotional grown-up. And I'm going to read something to you in a few minutes that will demonstrate a person's character. So before you physically get intimate with someone and certainly before you give your heart to someone. By the way, if what I'm saying to you resonates with you, there's a link right here to schedule a discovery call with me to see if working with the coach is right for you. There's a link below. Schedule a discovery call with me. My whole area of expertise is teaching you questions based on your personality to determine compatibility with another human being. OK, we said character, character and character. What does that look like? First and foremost, their actions consistently match their words. Their actions consistently match their words. Listen, we are all going to make a promise some day that we can't live up to. Hey, let's go out to dinner tonight and the last minute you cancel a day. Stuff happens. You know, that's just life. OK, but there's a consistency with the actions matching the words. And I think that's a rather obvious one. But it's important to point out that people of character, their actions consistently match their words. Number two, this is something near and dear to me. But the person, whether it's a man or woman, have a generous and kind nature about them. They have a generous and kind nature. Not everybody is generous and kind. Some people are very frugal with their money in the dating process. Some people are not very, they're not gift oriented. They're not very expressive in their words. In fact, many people who are deeply wounded, oftentimes struggle being generous and kind because the wounds consume them. Their problems consume them. They are all consuming in their life. In fact, their kindness and generosity has been replaced with jadedness and complaining. We see this habitually. And this is why I invite everyone to do a deep dive into healing childhood wounds and adult traumas by beginning to love thyself. This is my book called What the Heck Is Self Love Anyway? A Journey of Personal Development, Self-Help and Spiritual Work. There's a link below to get a copy of my book. But why I recommend my book is I also have my recommended reading list to begin that journey of healing oneself so you can be a generous and kind person instead of a bitter, jaded or a complaining person. Whether it's a man or a woman, we see this habitually. Wounded people oftentimes are not as generous and kind. Oops, I'm getting a call, okay? Number three, they communicate clearly without being right. They communicate clearly without being right. See, we have a society that is so in their righteousness that when there is challenges in relationships, when there's friction with another person, most everybody is operating as I'm right, you're wrong. I'm right, you're wrong. I'm right, you're wrong. And when two people are in the right, this is where there's going to be constant friction in a relationship. And one thing about character represents that you don't have to be right to get your point across. You clearly communicate without having to demonstrate that you are always in the right. That's a great sign that someone will be loyal to you because when someone operates from that place, they're more apt to want that all-in kind of relationship that I just talked about. Number four, they don't use people. They are clear about commitment. Oh my God, you know, we are swimming in a sea of humans that are so wounded and hurt that they unintentionally in many cases use people for their own game, you know, for their own game. Even truly clinical people with narcissism are so deeply wounded that they use people on an unconscious level. And certainly we can criticize them, but these are deeply wounded people. This is why I'm such a big proponent of doing vetting early on, doing your vetting early on, asking better questions. So you can determine whether someone who genuinely wants to be in a relationship and they're clear about commitment because people that have character are very clear about what they want and they operate. Those people that are ambivalent, ambiguous in what they want, believe me, you will feel used if you choose that kind of person. They won't be all-in and loyal to you. Number five, they have their act together. They have emotional and physical self-control. They don't chase sex. They don't chase drugs. They don't chase alcohol. They don't chase partying. They have a level of self-control, self-discipline. That is a great sign that a person who isn't only in it for the short run, who isn't chasing that next hire, and by the way, I am guilty of this, folks. After my divorce, I was such an emotional train wreck. I was chasing sex. I was chasing drugs. I was chasing alcohol. I was partying. I had no self-control. I had to peel the layers of all the pain and hurt I experienced for the first 40 years of my life to actually be in a space where I didn't use people as I said before. And yet I was delusional. I thought I was healthier than every person on the planet. I honestly, a truly evolved person knows they are just scratching the surface of self-awareness and that there's so much work to be done on an emotional level, on an inner level, but certainly if there is no self-control within a person, it's gonna be very difficult for them to be all in and loyal to another human being. Number six, they've healed from their past relationships. Folks, a relationship is like a cut, like a wound. It's like a death. That cut needs time to heal. You know, otherwise you're gonna reinfect it over and over again. And if someone has not done the inner work to process and heal past relationships, it most likely will be problematic that they can't go all in in any future relationship. How can someone be loyal to you if they're incapable of going all in and how can they go all in if they're still pining for a past relationship if the wound is still tender? And as I said earlier, the loss of a relationship is like death. We go through a grieving process. Sometimes people are bargaining to get that other person back. Sometimes they're in depression. Sometimes they're in anger. Sometimes they're in denial, but until a person reaches that inner state of acceptance, acceptance, it's gonna be very difficult for them to enter into a new relationship. And now they can, let me backtrack. They can enter into a new relationship, but that doesn't mean that they're gonna be loyal and all in because those relationships usually implode because they haven't healed from their past. And that's my invitation for every one of you, both as a man or woman listening to this, healing from your past, set you up for relationship success in the future. Of course that goes without saying. Now I'm a big proponent of people who do introspective work. They work on themselves. They grow beyond their limitation, their wounds and their traumas. If you haven't read the book, the Hoffman process, the Hoffman process. This is a deep dive into healing, childhood wounds and adult traumas that cause negative patterns and limiting beliefs in our lives. See, the work is not for the faint of heart. This work is really significant because most of us are suffering on the inside in some way, shape or form of I'm not good enough, I'm not lovable, I'm not likable. Think about that. I'm not good enough. I'm not lovable, I'm not likable. That's a deep, hard wound to put that cream, that lotion, that bandaid on for many people. And hence there isn't the time to actually heal on that. And what they do is they go after a relationship, after a relationship, after a relationship. And predominantly with men they chase sex, sex, sex because on some level that physical intimacy is a temporary bandaid to the deeper hurt that's going on. So those people that do introspective work, personal development, self-help and spiritual work, they want to grow past their limitations, oftentimes are better prepared to go all in in a relationship and when someone is all in they're loyal to you. Now I think this particularly is important for both genders is that they have a protective, empathetic nature. They're protective and empathetic, meaning they care about your feelings. Think about that, someone who genuinely cares about your feelings. Now I don't mean that they ghost because they're afraid to hurt your feelings. I'm talking about someone who's willing to say the tough things because they care about your feelings and those tough things might be, you know what? I'm not feeling it in this relationship. Or more importantly, I'm really feeling it in this relationship. Ladies oftentimes have duct tape on their mouth. They're afraid to speak up, but if you genuinely are protective and empathetic for another human being that you're going to speak your truth, you're just gonna do it in a kind loving way. A kind loving way. Let that sink in for a second. Speaking your truth is just your truth. It's not the truth, but you're gonna do it in a kind loving way. And lastly, for this conversation of the beautiful signs he's all in and loyal to you, they believe demonstrating trust is paramount in their life. And as I said this several times today, and again, I've said this throughout all my videos, trust is do I have this other person's best interest at heart? Do I put their feelings commensurate with my own feelings? Do I want to always have the best for this other human being? See that's how you reach an all in loyal relationship is when you can operate from a place of demonstrating trust is an important, is paramount in one's individual life because without trust, it's hard to be all in and loyal to another human being. This is why vetting is such a critically important part of the dating process. See this link right here? Vetting is required to determine emotional maturity and character, which means having the hard conversations with another human being. Have those radically honest conversations, laying your cards on the table, which means talking about your past relationships. And most importantly, the rules of engagement. What are the rules of engagement? It's establishing your standard early on. Are you seeking hookup? Oh, by the way, this is for, you know, most people hook up friends with benefits, casual relationships, situationships. They're not clear with their intentions. Your job is to be clear with your standard. That is the rules of engagement and only engage with someone who is going to meet you at your standard. And a boundary, like Renee Brown says, is simply what's okay and what's not okay for you. Because without these kinds of conversations, it's gonna be difficult to find that guy or girl that will go all in. Please forgive me, I said girl, woman. That guy or gal that will go all in, or woman who will go all in and be loyal to you. Because loyalty is what we often truly desire within a partnership. Is that all in and loyal space? Is this sinking in? Is this resonating? Please let me know if it is. Post a comment below. I do my best to read all the comments in the first 24 hours. As always, if you find value in this video, please hit that like button. Please share this video. Please subscribe to my channel and hit that notification bell. And if you wanna connect with me, there's links below to schedule a discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you. You can join my group called Midlife Love Mastery. You can follow me on Instagram. You can get the books I recommend or get my dating vows, my dating vows. And right here, quickly, the dating vows is what you say to one another. I agree to explore the process of getting to know you with the intent to declare something serious within the next three to six months. That's just the first taster. There's more to the vows. Click that link to get the dating vows if you haven't gotten it. All right, I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do. First off, give myself a big gigantic Johnathan Barrack of self love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone. A pet, a teddy bear pillow. Give inner them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. And let's face it, we could all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye-bye now. Bye-bye, bye-bye, bye-bye.