 Chapter 24 of the Adventures of Peregrine Pickle, Volume 1. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Martin Giesen. The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle, Volume 1. By Tobias Smollett. Chapter 24. He achieves an adventure at the assembly and quarrels with his governor. At the assembly were no fewer than three gentlemen of fortune who rivaled our lover in his passion for Emilia and who had severally begged the honour of dancing with her upon this occasion. She had excused herself to each, on pretence of a slight indisposition that she foresaw would detain her from the ball and desired they would provide themselves with other partners. Obliged to admit her excuse, they accordingly followed her advice and after they had engaged themselves beyond the power of retracting had the mortification of seeing her there unclaimed. They in their turn made up to her and expressed their surprise and concern at finding her in the assembly unprovided after she had declined their invitation. But she told them that her cold had forsaken her since she had the pleasure of seeing them and that she would rely upon accident for a partner. Just as she pronounced these words to the last of the three, Peregrine advanced as an utter stranger, bowed with great respect, told her he understood she was unengaged and would think himself highly honoured in being accepted as her partner for the night and he had the good fortune to succeed in his application. As they were by far the handsomest and best accomplished couple in the room, they could not fail of attracting the notice and admiration of the spectators which inflamed the jealousy of his three competitors and immediately entered into a conspiracy against this gaudy stranger whom as their rival they resolved to affront in public. Perseuant to the plan which they projected for this purpose, the first country dance was no sooner concluded than one of them with his partner took place of Peregrine and his mistress contrary to the regulation of the ball. Our lover imputing his behaviour to inadvertency informed the gentleman of his mistake and civilly desired he would rectify his error. The other told him in an imperious tone that he wanted none of his advice and bad him mind his own affairs. Peregrine answered with some warmth and insisted upon his right. A dispute commenced, high words ensued in the course of which our impetuous youth hearing himself reviled with the appellation of scoundrel pulled off his antagonist's periwig and flung it in his face. The ladies immediately shrieked, the gentleman interposed. Emilia was seized with a fit of trembling and conducted to her seat by her youthful admirer who begged pardon for having discomposed her and vindicated what he had done by representing the necessity he was under to resent the provocation he had received. Though she could not help owning the justice of his plea, she was not the less concerned at the dangerous situation in which he had involved himself and in the utmost consternation and anxiety insisted upon going directly home. He could not resist her importunities and her cousin being determined to accompany her, he escorted them to their lodgings where he wished them good night after having in order to quiet their apprehensions protested that if his opponent was satisfied he should never take any step towards the prosecution of the quarrel. Meanwhile the assembly room became a scene of tumult and uproar. The person who conceived himself injured, seeing Peregrine retire, struggled with his companions in order to pursue and take satisfaction of our hero whom he loaded with terms of abuse and challenged to single combat. The director of the ball held a consultation with all the subscribers who were present and it was determined by a majority of votes that the two gentlemen who had occasioned the disturbance should be desired to withdraw. This resolution being signified to one of the parties then present he made some difficulty of complying but was persuaded to submit by his two confederates who accompanied him to the street door by Peregrine on his return to the assembly. This choleric gentleman who was a country squire no sooner saw his rival than he began to brandish his cudgel in a menacing posture when our adventurous youth, stepping back with one foot laid his hand upon the hilt of his sword which he drew half way out of the scabbard. This attitude and the sight of the blade which glistened by moonlight in his face checked in some sort the ardour of his assailant who desired he would lay aside his toaster and take about with him at equal terms. Peregrine who was an expert cudgel player accepted the invitation then exchanging weapons with pipes who stood behind him put himself in a posture of defence and received the attack of his adversary who struck at random without either skill or economy. Pickle could have beaten the cudgel out of his hand at the first blow but as in that case he would have been obliged in honour to give him immediate quarter he resolved to discipline his antagonist without endeavouring to disable him until he should be heartily satisfied with the vengeance he had taken. With this view he returned the salute and raised such a clatter about the squire's pate that one who had heard without seeing the application would have taken the sound for that of a salt box in the hand of a dexterous Mary Andrew belonging to one of the booths at Bartholomew Fair. Neither was this salutation confined to his head. His shoulders, arms, thighs, ankles and ribs were visited with amazing rapidity while Tom Pipes sounded the charge through his fist. Peregrine tired with his exercise which had almost bereft his enemy of sensation at last struck the decisive blow in consequence of which the squire's weapon flew out of his grasp and he allowed our hero to be the better man. Satisfied with this acknowledgement the victor walked upstairs with such elevation of spirits and insolence of mean that nobody chose to intimate the resolution which had been taken in his absence. There having amused himself for some time in beholding the country dances he retreated to his lodging where he indulged himself all night in the contemplation of his own success. Next day in the forenoon he went to visit his partner and the gentleman at whose house she lived having been informed of his family and condition received him with great courtesy as the acquaintance of his cousin Gauntlet and invited him to dinner that same day. Emilia was remarkably well pleased when she understood the issue of his adventure which began to make some noise in town even though it deprived her of a wealthy admirer. The squire having consulted an attorney about the nature of the dispute in hopes of being able to prosecute Peregrine for an assault found little encouragement to go to law. He therefore resolved to pocket the insult and injury he had undergone and to discontinue his addresses to her who was the cause of both. Our lover being told by his mistress that she proposed to stay a fortnight longer in Windsor he determined to enjoy her company all that time and then to give her a convoy to the house of her mother whom he longed to see. In consequence of this plan he every day contrived some fresh party of pleasure for the ladies to whom he had by this time free access and entangled himself so much in the snares of love that he seemed quite enchanted by Emilia's charms which were now indeed almost irresistible. While he thus heedlessly roved in the flowery paths of pleasure his governor at Oxford alarmed at the unusual duration of his absence went to the young gentleman who had accompanied him in his excursion and very earnestly untreated them to tell him what they knew concerning his pupil. They accordingly gave him an account of the re-encounter that happened between Peregrine and Miss Emily Gauntlet in the castle and mentioned circumstances sufficient to convince him that his charge was very dangerously engaged. Far from having an authority over Peregrine Mr. Jolter durst not even disobeyed him. Therefore instead of writing to the Commodore he took horse immediately and that same night reached Windsor where he found his stray sheep very much surprised at his unexpected arrival. The governor desiring to have some serious conversation with him they shut themselves up in an apartment when Jolter with great solemnity communicated the cause of his journey which was no other than his concern for his pupil's welfare and very gravely undertook to prove by mathematical demonstration that this intrigue if further pursued would tend to the young gentleman's ruin and disgrace. This singular proposition raised the curiosity of Peregrine who promised to yield to all manner of attention and desired him to begin without further preamble. The governor encouraged by this appearance of candor expressed his satisfaction in finding him so open to conviction and told him he would proceed upon geometrical principles. Then hemming thrice observed that no mathematical inquiries could be carried on except upon certain data or concessions of truth that was self-evident and therefore he must have his assent to a few axioms which he was sure Mr Pickle would see no reason to dispute. In the first place then said he he will grant I hope that youth and discretion are with respect to each other as two parallel lines which though infinitely produced remain still equidistant and will never coincide. Then you must allow that passion acts upon the human mind in a ratio compounded of the acuteness of sense and constitutional heat. And thirdly you will not deny that the angle of remorse is equal to that of precipitation. These postulata being admitted and at he taking pen ink and paper and drawing a parallelogram let youth be represented by the right line A B and discretion by another right line C D parallel to the former. Complete the parallelogram A B C D and let the point of intersection B represent perdition. Let passion represented under the letter C have a motion in the direction C A. At the same time let another motion be communicated to it in the direction C D. It will proceed in the diagonal C B and describe it in the same time that it would have described the side C A by the first motion or the side C D by the second. To understand the demonstration of this corollary we must premise this obvious principle that when a body is acted upon by a motion of power parallel to a right line given in position this power or motion has no effect to cause the body to approach towards that line or recede from it but to move in a line parallel to a right line only as appears from the second law of motion. Therefore C A being parallel to D B his pupil having listened to him thus far could contain himself no longer but interrupted the investigation with a loud laugh and told him that his postulata put him in mind of a certain learned and ingenious gentleman who undertook to disprove the existence of natural evil and asked no other datum on which to found his demonstration but an acknowledgement that everything that is is right. You may therefore said he in a peremptory tone spare yourself the trouble of torturing your invention for after all I am pretty certain that I shall want capacity to comprehend the discussion of your lemma and consequently be obliged to all the pangs of an ingenuous mind that I refuse my ascent to your deduction. Mr Jolti was disconcerted at this declaration and so much offended at Peregrine's disrespect that he could not help expressing his displeasure by telling him flatly that he was too violent and headstrong to be reclaimed by reason and gentle means that he, the tutor, must be obliged in the discharge of his duty and conscience to inform the commodore of his pupil's imprudence that if the laws of this realm were effectual they would take cognizance of the gypsy who had led him astray and observed by way of contrast that if such a preposterous intrigue had happened in France she would have been clapped up in a convent two years ago. Our lover's eyes kindled with indignation when he heard his mistress treated with such irreverence. He could scarce refrain from inflicting manual chastisement on the blasphemer whom he reproached in his wrath as an arrogant pedant without either delicacy or sense and cautioned him against risking any such impertinent freedoms with his affairs for the future on pain of incurring more severe effects of his resentment. Mr. Gelter, who entertained very high notions of that veneration to which he thought himself entitled by his character and qualifications had not borne without repining his want of influence and authority over his pupil against whom he cherished a particular grudge ever since the adventure of the painted eye and therefore on this occasion his politic forbearance had been overcome by the accumulated motives of his disgust. Indeed, he would have resigned his charge with disdain had not he been encouraged to persevere by the hopes of a good living which Trunnion had in his gift or known how to dispose of himself for the present to better advantage. End of Chapter 24 Recording by Martin Geeson in Hazelmere Surrey Chapter 25 of the Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Volume 1 This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Martin Geeson The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Volume 1 by Tobias Smollett Chapter 25 He receives a letter from his aunt breaks with the Commodore and disablages the lieutenant who nevertheless undertakes his cause. Meanwhile, he quitted the youth in high dudgeon and that same evening dispatched a letter for Mistress Trunnion which was dictated by the first transports of his passion and of course replete with severe animadversions on the misconduct of his pupil. In consequence of this complaint it was not long before Peregrine received an epistle from his aunt wherein she commemorated all the circumstances of the Commodore's benevolence towards him when he was helpless and forlorn deserted and abandoned by his own parents upbraided him for his misbehaviour and neglect of his tutor's advice and insisted upon his breaking off an intercourse with that girl who had seduced his youth as he valued the continuance of her affection and her husband's regard. As our lover's own ideas of generosity were extremely refined he was shocked at the indelicate insinuations of Mistress Trunnion and felt all the pangs of an ingenuous mind that labours under obligations to a person whom it contempts. Far from obeying her injunction or humbling himself by a submissive answer to her reprehension his resentment buoyed him up above every selfish consideration. He resolved to attach himself to Emilia if possible more than ever and although he was tempted to punish the officiousness of Jolta by recriminating upon his life and conversation he generously withstood the impulse of his passion because he knew that his governor had no other dependence than the good opinion of the Commodore. He could not, however, digest in silence the severe expostulations of his aunt to which he replied by the following letter addressed to her husband. Sir, though my temper could never stoop to offer nor I believe your disposition to remain to receive that gross incense which the illiberal only expect and none but the base-minded condescend to pay my sentiments have always done justice to your generosity and my intentions scrupulously adhered to the dictates of my duty. Conscious of this integrity of heart I cannot but severely feel your ladies unkind I will not call it ungenerous recapitulation of the favours I have received and as I take it for granted that you knew and approved of her letter I must beg leave to assure you that far from being swayed by menaces and reproach I am determined to embrace the most abject extremity of fortune rather than submit to such dishonourable compulsion. When I am treated in a more delicate and respectful manner I hope I shall behave as becomes, sir, your obliged pea-pickle. The Commodore who did not understand those nice distinctions of behaviour and dreaded the consequence of Peregrine's amour against which he was strangely prepossessed seemed exasperated at the insolence and obstinacy of this adopted son to whose epistle he wrote the following answer which was transmitted by the hands of Hatchway who had orders to bring the delinquent along with him to the garrison. Harky child, you need not bring your fine speeches to bear upon me. You only expend your ammunition to no purpose. Your aunt told you nothing but truth but it is always fair and honest to be above board, you see. I am informed as how you are in chase of a painted galley which will decoy you upon the flats of destruction unless you keep a better look out and assure a reckoning than you have hitherto done and I have sent Jack Hatchway to see how the land lies and warn you of your danger. If so be as you will put about ship and let him steer you into this harbour you shall meet with a safe berth and friendly reception. But if you refuse to alter your course you cannot expect any father assistance from yours as you behave, as a trunnion. Peregrine was equally peaked and disconcerted at the receipt of this letter which was quite different from what he had expected and declared in a resolute tone to the lieutenant who brought it that he might not return as soon as he pleased for he was determined to consult his own inclination and remain for some time longer where he was. Hatchway endeavoured to persuade him by all the arguments which his sagacity and friendship could supply to show a little more deference for the old man who was by this time rendered fretful and peevish by the gout which now hindered him from enjoying himself as usual who might in his passion take some step very much to the detriment of the young gentleman whom he hitherto considered as his own son. Among other remonstrances Jack observed that may have Peregrine had got under Emilia's hatches and did not choose to set her adrift and that if that was the case he would himself take charge of the vessel and see her cargo safely delivered for he had a respect for the young woman and his needle pointed towards matrimony and as in all probability she could not be much the worse for the wear he would make shift to scud through life with her under an easy sail. Our lover was deaf to all his admonitions and having thanked him for this last instance of his complacence repeated his resolution of adhering to his first purpose. Hatchway having profited so little by mild exhortations assumed a more peremptory aspect and plainly told him that he neither could nor would go home without him so he had best make immediate preparation for the voyage. Peregrine made no other reply to this declaration than by a contemptuous smile and rose from his seat in order to retire upon which the lieutenant started up and posting himself by the door protested with some menacing gestures that he would not suffer him to run ahead neither. The other incensed at his presumption in attempting to detain him by force tripped up his wooden leg and laid him on his back in a moment then walked deliberately towards the park in order to indulge his reflection which at that time teamed with disagreeable thoughts. He had not proceeded two hundred steps when he heard something blowing and stamping behind him and looking back perceived the lieutenant at his heels with rage and indignation in his countenance. This exasperated semen impatient of the affront he had received and forgetting all the circumstances of their former intimacy advanced with great eagerness to his old friend saying, Lookie, brother, you're a saucy boy and if you as it see I would have your backside brought to the davit for your disobedience but as we are unsure you and I must crack a pistol at one another here is a brace you shall take which you please. Peregrine upon recollection was sorry for having been laid under the necessity of disablaging honest Jack and very frankly asked his pardon for what he had done but this condescension was misinterpreted by the other who refused any other satisfaction but that which an officer ought to claim and with some irreverent expressions asked if Perry was afraid of his bacon. The youth inflamed at this unjust insinuation dotted a ferocious look at the challenger told him he had paid but too much regard to his infirmities and bid him walk forward to the park he would soon convince him of his error if he thought his concession proceeded from fear about this time they were overtaken by pipes who having heard the lieutenant's fall and seen him pocket his pistols suspected there was a quarrel in the case and followed him with a view of protecting his master Peregrine seeing him arrive and guessing his intention assumed an air of serenity and pretending that he had left his handkerchief at the inn ordered his man to go thither and fetch it to him in the park where he would find them at his return this command was twice repeated before Tom would take any other notice of the message except by shaking his head but being urged with many threats and curses to obedience he gave them to understand that he knew their drift too well to trust them by themselves as for you Lieutenant Hatchway said he I have been your shipmate I know you to be a sailor and that's enough and as for the master I know him to be as good a man as ever stepped between stem and stern whereby if you have anything to say to him I am your man as the saying is here is my sapling and I don't value your crackers of a rope's end this oration the longest that ever pipes was known to make he concluded with the flourish of his cudgel and enforced with such determined refusals to leave them that they found it impossible to bring the cause to mortal arbitrement at that time and strolled about the park in profound silence during which Hatchway's indignation subsiding he all of a sudden thrust out his hand as an advance to reconciliation which being cordially shaken by peregrine a general pacification ensued and was swallowed by a consultation about the means of extricating the youth from his present perplexity had his disposition been like that of most other young men it would have been no difficult task to overcome his difficulties but such was the obstinacy of his pride that he deemed himself bound in honour to resent the letters he had received and instead of submitting to the pleasure of the Commodore expected an acknowledgement from him without which he would listen to no terms of accommodation had I been his own son, said he I should have borne his reproof and sued for forgiveness but knowing myself to be on the footing of an orphan who depends entirely upon his benevolence I am jealous of everything that can be construed into disrespect and insist upon being treated with the most punctual regard I shall now make application to my father who is obliged to provide for me by the ties of nature as well as the laws of the land and if he shall refuse to do me justice I can never want employment while men are required for his majesty's service the lieutenant alarmed at this intimation begged he would take no new step until he should hear from him and that very evening set out for the garrison where he gave Trunnion an account of the miscarriage of his negotiation told him how highly Perrigan was offended at the letter communicated the young gentleman's sentiments and resolution and finally assured him that unless he should think proper to ask pardon for the offence he had committed he would in all appearance never more behold the face of his godson the old Commodore was utterly confounded at this piece of intelligence he had expected all the humility of obedience and contrition from the young man and instead of that received nothing but the most indignant opposition and even found himself in the circumstances of an offender obliged to make atonement or forfeit all correspondence with his favourite these insolent conditions at first threw him into an agony of wrath and he vented execrations with such rapidity that he left himself no time to breathe and had almost been suffocated with his collar he invade bitterly against the ingratitude of Perrigan whom he mentioned with many opprobrious epithets and swore that he ought to be keel-halled for his presumption but when he began to reflect more coolly upon the spirit of the young gentleman which had already manifested itself on many occasions and listened to the suggestions of Hatchway whom he'd always considered as an oracle in his way his resentment abated and he determined to take Perrigan to favour again this placability being not a little facilitated by Jack's narrative of our hero's intrepid behaviour at the assembly as well as the contest with him in the park but still this plaguey amour occurred like a bugbear to his imagination for he held it as an infallible maxim that woman was an eternal source of misery to man indeed this app of them he seldom repeated since his marriage except in the company of a very few intimates to whose secrecy and discretion he could trust finding Jack himself at a non-plus in the affair of Emilia he consulted Mistress Trunnion who was equally surprised and offended when she understood that her letter did not produce the desired effect and having imputed the youth's obstinacy to his uncle's unseasonable indulgence had recourse to the advice of the parson who still with an eye to his friend's advantage counselled them to send the young gentleman on his travels in the course of which he would in all probability forget the amusements of his greener years the proposal was judicious and immediately approved when Trunnion going into his closet after diver's efforts produced the following B.A. with which Jack departed for Windsor that same afternoon my good lad if I gave a fence in my last letter I'm sorry for it to see I thought it was the likeliest way to bring you up but in time to come you shall have a larger swing of cable when you can spare time I should be glad if you will make a short trip and see your aunt and him who is your loving godfather and humble servant Harser Trunnion Postscriptum If you want money you may draw upon me payable at sight End of Chapter 25 Recording by Martin Geeson in Hazelmere Surrey Chapter 26 of the Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Volume 1 This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Martin Geeson The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Volume 1 by Tobias Smollett Chapter 26 He becomes melancholy and despondent is favoured with the condescending letter from his uncle reconciles himself to his governor and sets out with Emilia and her friend for Mistress Gauntlet's house Peregrine, fortified as he was with pride and indignation did not fail to feel the smarting suggestions of his present situation After having lived so long in an affluent and imperious manner he could ill-brook the thoughts of submitting to the mortifying exigencies of life All the gaudy schemes of pomp and pleasure which his luxuriant imagination had formed began to dissolve A train of melancholy ideas took possession of his thoughts and the prospect of losing Emilia was not the least part of his affliction Though he endeavoured to suppress the chagrin that prayed upon his heart he could not conceal the disturbance of his mind from the penetration of that amiable young lady who sympathised with him in her heart though she could not give her tongue the liberty of asking the cause of his disorder For notwithstanding all the ardour of his addresses he never could obtain from her the declaration of a mutual flame because though he had hitherto treated her with the utmost reverence of respect he had never once mentioned the final aim of his passion However honourable she supposed it to be she had discernment enough to foresee that vanity or interest cooperating with the levity of youth might one day deprive her of her lover and she was too proud to give him any handle of exalting at her expense Although he was received by her with the most distinguished civility and even an intimacy of friendship all his solicitations could never extort from her an acknowledgement of love On the contrary, being of a gay disposition she sometimes coquettied with other admirers that his attention thus whetted might never abate and that he might see that she had other resources in case he should flag in his affection This being the prudential plan on which she acted it cannot be supposed that she would condescend to inquire into the state of his thoughts when she saw him thus affected but she nevertheless imposed that task on her cousin and confidante who as they walked together in the park observed that he seemed to be out of humour When this is the case such a question generally increases the disease at least it had that effect upon peregrine who replied somewhat peevishly I assure you madam you never were more mistaken in your observations I think so too said Emilia for I never saw Mr Pickle in higher spirits This ironical encomium completed his confusion He affected to smile but it was a smile of anguish and in his heart he cursed the vivacity of both He could not for his soul recollect himself so as to utter one connected sentence and the suspicion that they observed every circumstance of his behaviour through such a damp on his spirits that he was quite overwhelmed with shame and resentment when Sophie casting her eyes towards the gate said yonder is your servant Mr Pickle with another man who seems to have a wooden leg Peregrine started at this intelligence and immediately underwent sundry changes of complexion knowing that his fate in a great measure depended upon the information he would receive from his friend Hatchway advancing to the company after a brace of sea bows to the ladies took the youth aside and put the Commodore's letter into his hand which threw him into such an agitation that he could scarce pronounce ladies would you give me leave when in consequence of their permission he attempted to open the BA he fumbled with such manifest disorder that his mistress who watched his motions began to think that there was something very interesting in the message so much was she affected with this concern that she was feigned to turn her head another way and wipe the tears from her lovely eyes meanwhile Peregrine no sooner read the first sentence than his countenance which before was overcast with a deep gloom began to be lighted up and every feature unbending by degrees he recovered his serenity having perused the letter his eyes sparkling with joy and gratitude he hugged the lieutenant in his arms and presented him to the ladies as one of his best friends Jack met with the most gracious reception and shook Amelia by the hand telling her with the familiar appellation of old acquaintance that he did not care how soon he was the master of such another clean going frigate as herself the whole company partook of this favourable change that evidently appeared in our lovers recollection and enlivened his conversation with such an uncommon flow of sprightliness and good humour as even made an impression on the iron countenance of pipes himself who actually smiled with satisfaction as he walked behind them the evening being pretty far advanced they directed their course homeward and while the valet attended Hatchway to the inn Peregrine escorted the ladies to their lodgings where he owned the justness of Sophie's remark in saying he was out of humour and told them he had been extremely chagrined at a difference which had happened between him and his uncle to whom by the letter which they had seen him receive he now found himself happily reconciled having received their congratulations and declined staying to sup with them on account of the longing desire he had to converse with his friend Jack he took his leave and repaired to the inn where Hatchway informed him of everything that had happened in the garrison upon his presentations far from being disgusted he was perfectly well pleased with the prospect of going abroad which flattered his vanity and ambition gratified his thirst after knowledge and indulged that turn for observation for which he had been remarkable from his most tender years neither did he believe that a short absence would tend to the prejudice of his love but on the contrary enhanced the value of his heart because he should return better accomplished consequently a more welcome offering to his mistress elevated with these sentiments his heart dilated with joy and the sleuces of his natural benevolence being opened by this happy turn of his affairs he sent his compliment to Mr Jolter to whom he had not spoken during a whole week and desired he would favour Mr Hatchway and him with his company at supper the governor was not weak enough to decline this invitation in consequence of which he forthwith appeared and was cordially welcomed by the relenting pupil who expressed his sorrow for the misunderstanding which prevailed between them and assured him that for the future he would avoid giving him any just cause of complaint Jolter who did not want affections was melted by this acknowledgement which he could not have expected and earnestly protested that his chief study had always been and ever should be to promote Mr Pickle's interest and happiness the best part of the night being spent in the circulation of a cheerful glass the company broke up and next morning Peregrine went out with a view of making his mistress acquainted and caused intention of sending him out of the kingdom for his improvement and of saying everything which he thought necessary for the interest of his love he found her at breakfast with her cousin and as he was very full of the subject of his visit had scarce to fixed himself in his seat when he brought it upon the carpet by asking with a smile if the ladies had any commands for Paris Emilia at this question began to stare and her confidant desired to know who was going there he no sooner gave to understand that he himself intended in a short time to visit that capital and his mistress with great precipitation wished him a good journey and affected to talk with indifference of the pleasures he would enjoy in France but when he seriously assured Sophie who asked if he was in earnest and his uncle actually insisted upon his making a short tour the tears gushed in poor Emilia's eyes and she was at great pains to conceal her concern by observing that the tea was so scalding hot as to make her eyes water this pretext was too thin to impose upon her lover or even deceive the observation of her friend Sophie who after breakfast took an opportunity of quitting the room thus left by themselves Peregrine imparted to her what he had learnt of the Commodore's intention without however mentioning a syllable of his being offended at their correspondence and accompanied his information with such fervent vows of eternal constancy and solemn promises of a speedy return that Emilia's heart which had been invaded by a suspicion that this scheme of travelling was an effect of her lovers in constancy began to be more at ease and she could not help signifying her approbation of his design this affair being amicably compromised he asked how soon she proposed to set out for her mother's house an understanding that her departure was fixed for next day but one and that her cousin Sophie intended to accompany her in her father's chariot he repeated his intention of attending her in the meantime he dismissed the governor and the lieutenant to the garrison with his compliments to his aunt and the Commodore a faithful promise of his being with them in six days at farthest these previous measures being taken he attended by pipes set out to the ladies and they had also a convoy for 12 miles from Sophie's father who at parting recommended them piously to the care of Peregrine with whom by this time he was perfectly well acquainted End of chapter 26 Recording by Martin Geeson in Hazelmere Surrey Chapter 27 of the Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Volume 1 This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Martin Geeson The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Volume 1 by Tobias Smollett Chapter 27 They meet with the dreadful alarm on the road arrive at their journey then Peregrine is introduced to Emily's brother these two young gentlemen misunderstand each other Pickle departs for the garrison As they travelled at an easy rate they had performed something more than one half of their journey when they were benighted near and in at which they resolved to lodge The accommodation was very good they sapped together with great mirth and enjoyment and it was not till after he had been warned by the yawns of the ladies that he conducted them to their apartment where wishing them good night he retired to his own and went to rest The house was crowded with country people who had been at a neighbouring fair and now regaled themselves with ale and tobacco in the yard so that their consideration which at any time was but slender being now overwhelmed by this debauch they staggered into their respective kennels and left a lighted candle sticking to one of the wooden pillars that supported the gallery The flame in a little time laid hold on the wood which was as dry as tinder and the whole gallery was on fire when Peregrine suddenly waked and found himself almost suffocated He sprang up in an instant slipped on his britches and throwing open the door of his chamber saw the whole entry in a blaze Heavens, what were the emotions of his soul when he beheld the volumes of flame and smoke rolling towards the room where his dear Emilia lay Regardless of his own danger he darted himself through the thickest of the gloom when knocking hard and calling at the same time to the ladies with the most anxious in treaty to be admitted the door was opened by Emilia in her shift who asked with the utmost trepidation what was the matter He made no reply but snatching her up in his arms like another innius bore her through the flames to a place of safety while leaving her before she could recollect herself or pronounce one word but alas, my cousin Sophie he flew back to the rescue of that young lady and found her already delivered by pipes who having been alarmed by the smell of fire had got up rushed immediately to the chamber where he knew these companions lodged and Emily being saved by her lover brought off Miss Sophie with the loss of his own shock head of hair which was singed off in his retreat By this time the whole inn was alarmed every lodger as well as servant exerted himself in order to stop the progress of this calamity and there being a well replenished horse pond in the yard in less than an hour the fire was totally extinguished without having done any other damage than that of consuming about two yards of the wooden gallery All this time our young gentleman closely attended his fair charge each of whom had swooned with apprehension but as their constitutions were good and their spirits not easily dissipated when upon reflection they found themselves and their company safe and that the flames were happily quenched the tumult of their fears subsided they put on their clothes recovered their good humour and began to rally each other on the trim in which they had been secured Sophie observed that now Mr Pickle had an indisputable claim to her cousin's affection and therefore she ought to lay aside all the affected reserve for the future and frankly avow the sentiments of her heart Emily retorted the argument putting her in mind that by the same claim Mr Pipes was entitled to the like return from her her friend admitted the force of the conclusion provided she could not find means of satisfying his deliverer in another shape and turning to the valet who happened to be present asked if his heart was not otherwise engaged Tom who did not conceive the meaning of the question stood silent according to custom and the interrogation being repeated answered with a grin heart whole as a biscuit I'll assure you mistress what said Emilia have you never been in love Thomas yes for sooth replied the valet without hesitation sometimes of a morning Perry Grinn could not help laughing and his mistress looked a little disconcerted at this blunt repartee while Sophie slipping a purse into his hand told him there was something to purchase a Perry wig Tom having consulted his master's eyes refused the present saying no thank you as much as if I did and though she insisted upon his putting it in his pocket as a small testimony of her gratitude he could not be prevailed upon to avail himself of her generosity but following her to the other end of the room thrust it into her sleeve without ceremony exclaiming I'll be damned to hell if I do Perry Grinn having checked him for his boorish behaviour sent him out of the room and begged that Miss Sophie would not endeavour to debauch the morals of his servant who rough and uncultivated as he was had sense enough to perceive that he had no pretension to any such acknowledgement but she argued with great vehemence that she should never be able to make acknowledgement adequate to the service he had done her and that she should never be perfectly easy in her own mind until she found some opportunity of manifesting the sense she had of the obligation I do not pretend said she to reward Mr. Pipes but I shall be absolutely unhappy unless I am allowed to give him some token of my regard Perry Grinn thus earnestly solicited desired that since she was bent upon displaying her generosity she would not bestow upon him any pecuniary gratification but honour him with some trinket as a mark of consideration because he himself had such a particular value for the fellow on account of his attachment and fidelity that should be sorry to see him treated on the footing of a common mercenary domestic there was not one jewel in the possession of this grateful young lady that she would not have gladly given as a recompense or badge of distinction to her rescuer but his master pitched upon a seal ring of no great value that hung at her watch and Pipes being called in had permission to accept that testimony of Miss Sophie's favour Tom received it accordingly with sundry scrapes and having kissed it with great devotion put it on his little finger and strutted off extremely proud of his acquisition Emilia with the most enchanting sweetness of aspect told her lover that he had instructed her how to behave towards him and taking a diamond ring from her finger desired he would wear it for her sake he received the pledge as became him and presented another in exchange which she at first refused alleging that it would destroy the intent of her acknowledgement but Peregrine assured her he had accepted her jewel not as a proof of her gratitude but as the mark of her love and that if she refused a mutual token he should look upon himself as the object of her disdain her eyes kindled and her cheeks glowed with resentment at this impudent intimation which she considered as an unseasonable insult and the young gentleman perceiving her emotion stood corrected for his temerity and asked pardon for the liberty of his remonstrance which he hoped she would describe to the prevalence of that principle alone which he had always taken pride in avowing Sophie seeing him disconcerted interposed in his behalf and chid her cousin for having practised such unnecessary affectation upon which Emilia softened into compliance held out her finger as a signal of her condescension Peregrine put on the ring with great eagerness and mumbled her soft white hand in an ecstasy which would not allow him to confine his embraces to that limb but urged him to seize her by the waist and snatch a delicious kiss from her love-pouting lips nor would he leave her a butt to the ridicule of Sophie on whose mouth he instantly committed a rape of the same nature so that the two friends, countenanced by each other reprehended him with such gentleness of rebuke that he was almost tempted to repeat the offence The morning being now lighted up and the servants of the inn on foot he ordered some chocolate for breakfast and that the desire of the ladies sent pipes to see the horses fed and the chariots prepared while he went to the bar and discharged the bill These measures being taken they set off about five o'clock and having refreshed themselves and their cattle at another inn on the road proceeded in the afternoon Without meeting any other accident they safely arrived at the place of their destination where Mistress Gauntlet expressed her joy at seeing her old friend Mr Pickle whom however she kindly reproached for the long discontinuance of his regard Without explaining the cause of that interruption he protested that his love and esteem had never been discontinued and that for the future he should emit no occasion of testifying how much he had her friendship at heart She then made him acquainted with her son who at that time was in the house being excused from his duty by furlough This young man whose name was Godfrey was about the age of twenty of a middling size, vigorous mage remarkably well shaped and the scars of the smallpox of which he bore a good number added a peculiar manliness to the air of his countenance His capacity was good and his disposition naturally frank and easy But he had been a soldier from his infancy and his education was altogether in the military style He looked upon taste and letters as mere pedantry beneath the consideration of a gentleman and every civil station of life as mean when compared with the profession of arms He had made great progress in the gymnastic sciences of dancing, fencing and riding played perfectly well upon the German flute and above all things valued himself upon a scrupulous observance of all the points of honour Had peregrine and he considered themselves upon equal footing in all probability they would have immediately entered into a league of intimacy and friendship But this sufficient soldier looked upon his sister's admirer as a young student raw from the university and utterly ignorant of mankind while Squire Pickle beheld Godfrey in the light of a needy volunteer greatly inferior to himself in fortune as well as every other accomplishment This mutual misunderstanding could not fail of animosities The very next day after peregrine's arrival some sharp repartees passed between them in the presence of the ladies before whom each endeavoured to assert his own superiority In these contests our hero never failed of obtaining the victory because his genius was more acute and his talents better cultivated than those of his antagonist who therefore took umbridge at his success became jealous of his reputation and began to treat him with mocks of scorn and disrespect His sister saw and dreading the consequence of his ferocity not only took him to task in private for his impolite behaviour but also entreated her lover to make allowances for the roughness of her brother's education He kindly assured her that whatever pains it might cost him to vanquish his own impetuous temper he would, for her sake, endure all the mortifications to which her brother's arrogance might expose him and after having stayed with her two days and enjoyed several private interviews during which he acted the part of a most passionate lover he took his leave of Mistress Gauntlet overnight and told the young ladies he would call early next morning to bid them farewell He did not neglect this piece of duty and found the two friends and breakfast already prepared in the parlour All three being extremely affected with the thoughts of parting a most pathetic silence for some time prevailed till Peregrine put an end to it by lamenting his fate in being obliged to exile himself so long from the dear object of his most interesting wish He begged with the most earnest supplications that she would now, in consideration of the cruel absence he must suffer, give him the consolation which she had hitherto refused namely, that of knowing he possessed a place within her heart The Corfidant seconded his request representing that it was now no time to disguise her sentiments when her lover was about to leave the kingdom and might be in danger of contracting other connections unless he was confirmed in his constancy by knowing how far he could depend upon her love and, in short, she was plied with such irresistible importunities that she answered in the utmost confusion Though I have avoided literal acknowledgments me thinks the circumstances of my behaviour might have convinced Mr Pickle that I do not regard him as a common acquaintance My charming Emily, cried the impatient lover throwing himself at her feet Why will you deal out my happiness in such scanty portions? Why would you thus mince the declaration which would overwhelm me with pleasure and cheer my lonely reflection while I sigh amid the solitude of separation? His fair mistress, melted by this image replied with the tears gushing from her eyes I'm afraid I shall feel that separation more severely than you imagine Transported at this flattering confession he pressed her to his breast and while her head reclined upon his neck mingled his tears with hers in great abundance breathing the most tender vows of eternal fidelity The gentle heart of Sophie could not bear this scene unmoved She wept with sympathy and encouraged the lovers to resign themselves to the will of fate and support their spirits with the hope of meeting again on happier terms Finally after mutual promises, exhortations and endearments Peregrine took his leave his heart being so full that he could scarce pronounce the word adieu and mounting his horse at the door set out with pipes for the garrison End of Chapter 27 Recording by Martin Geeson in Hazelmere Surrey Chapter 28 of the Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Volume 1 This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Martin Geeson The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Volume 1 by Tobias Smollett Chapter 28 Peregrine is overtaken by Mr Gauntlet with whom he fights a duel and contracts an intimate friendship He arrives at the garrison and finds his mother as implacable as ever He is insulted by his brother Gam whose preceptor he disciplines with a horse whip In order to expel the melancholy images that took possession of his fancy at parting from his mistress he called in the flattering ideas of those pleasures he expected to enjoy in France and before he had rode ten miles his imagination was effectually amused While he thus prosecuted his travels by anticipation and indulged himself in all the insolence of hope at the turning of a lane he was all of a sudden overtaken by Emilia's brother on horseback who told him he was riding the same way and should be glad of his company This young gentleman, whether prompted by personal peak or actuated with zeal for the honour of his family had followed our hero with the view of obliging him to explain the nature of his attachment to his sister Peregrine returned his compliment with such disdainful civility as gave him room to believe that he suspected his errand and therefore without further preamble he declared his business in these words Mr Pickle, you have carried on a correspondence with my sister for some time and I should be glad to know the nature of it To this question our lover replied Sir, I should be glad to know what title you have to demand that satisfaction Sir, answered the other I demand it in the capacity of a brother jealous of his own honour as well as of his sister's reputation and if your intentions are honourable you will not refuse it Sir, said Peregrine I am not at present disposed to appeal to your opinion for the rectitude of my intentions and I think you assume a little too much importance in pretending to judge my conduct Sir, replied the soldier I pretend to judge the conduct of every man who interferes with my concerns and even to just stice him if I think he acts amiss Chastise, cried the youth with indignation in his looks Sure you dare not apply that term to me You are mistaken, said Godfrey I dare do anything that becomes the character of a gentleman Gentlemen, God what? replied the other, looking contemptuously at his equipage which was none of the most superb a very pretty gentleman truly The soldier's wrath was inflamed by this ironic or repetition the contempt of which his conscious poverty made him feel and he called his antagonist presumptuous boy insolent upstart and with other epithets which Pere retorted with great bitterness a formal challenge having passed between them they alighted at the first inn and walked into the next field in order to decide their quarrel by the sword Having pitched upon the spot helped to pull off each other's boots and laid aside their coats and waistcoats Mr Gauntlet told his opponent that he himself was looked upon in the army as an expert swordsman and if Mr Pickle had not made that science his particular study they should be upon a more equal footing in using pistols Peregrine was too much incensed to thank him for his plain dealing and too confident of his own skill to relish the other's proposal which he accordingly rejected then drawing his sword he observed that where he to treat Mr Gauntlet according to his deserts he would order his men to punish his audacity with the horse whip Exasperated at this expression which he considered as an indelible affront he made no reply but attacked his adversary with equal ferocity and address The youth parried his first and second thrust but received the third in the outside of his sword arm Though the wound was superficial he was transported with rage at the sight of his own blood and returned the assault with such fury and precipitation that Gauntlet's loath to take advantage of his unguarded heat stood upon the defensive In the second lounge Peregrine's weapon entering a kind of network in the shell of Godfrey's sword the blade snapped in two and left him at the mercy of the soldier who far from making an insolent use of the victory he had gained put up his Toledo with great deliberation like a man who had been used to that kind of re-encounters and observed that such a blade as Peregrine's was not to be trusted with a man's life then advising the owner to treat a gentleman in distress with more respect for the future he slipped on his boots and with sullen dignity of demeanour stalked back to the inn Though Pickel was extremely mortified at his miscarriage in this adventure he was also struck with the behaviour of his antagonist which affected him the more as he understood that Godfrey's fjarte had proceeded from the jealous sensibility of a gentleman declined into the veil of misfortune Gauntlet's valor and moderation induced him to put a favourable construction on all those circumstances of that young soldier's conduct which before had given him disgust Though in any other case he would have industriously avoided the least appearance of submission he followed his conqueror to the inn with a view of thanking him for his generous forbearance and of soliciting his friendship and correspondence Godfrey had his foot in the stirrup to mount when Peregrine coming up to him desired he would defer his departure for a quarter of an hour and favour him with a little private conversation The soldier who mistook the meaning of the request immediately quitted his horse and followed Pickel into a chamber where he expected to find a brace of pistols loaded on the table but he was very agreeably deceived when our hero in the most respectful terms acknowledged his noble deportment in the field owned that till then he had misunderstood his character and begged that he would honour him with his intimacy and correspondence Gauntlet who had seen undoubted proofs of Peregrine's courage which had considerably raised him in his esteem and had sense enough to perceive that this concession was not owing to any sordid or sinister motive embraced his offer with demonstrations of infinite satisfaction when he understood the terms on which Mr. Pickel was with his sister he proffered his service in his turn either as agent, mediator or confidant nay, to give this new friend a convincing proof of his sincerity he disclosed to him a passion which he had for some time entertained for his cousin Miss Sophie though he durst not reveal his sentiments to her father lest he should be offended at his presumption and withdraw his protection from the family Peregrine's generous heart was wrung with anguish when he understood that this young gentleman who was the only son of a distinguished officer had carried arms for the space of five years without being able to obtain a Sableton's commission though he always had behaved with remarkable regularity and spirit and acquired the friendship and esteem of all the officers under whom he had served he would at that time with the utmost pleasure have shared his finances with him but as he would not run the risk of offending the young soldier's delicacy of honour by a premature exertion of his liberality he resolved to insinuate himself into an intimacy with him before he would venture to take such freedoms and with that view pressed Mr. Gauntlet to accompany him to the garrison where he did not doubt of having influence enough to make him a welcome guest Godfrey thanked him very courteously for his invitation which he said he could not immediately accept but promised if he would favour him with a letter and fix the time at which he proposed to set out for France he would endeavour to visit him at the Commodore's habitation and from thence give him a convoy to Dover this new treaty being settled and a docile of lint with a snip of plaster applied to our adventurer's wound departed from the brother of his dear Emilia to whom and his friend Sophie he sent his kindest wishes and having lodged one night upon the road arrived next day in the afternoon at the garrison where he found all his friends in good health and overjoyed at his return the Commodore who was by this time turned of seventy and altogether crippled by the gout seldom went abroad and as his conversation was not very entertaining had but little company within doors so the spirits must have quite stagnated had they not been kept in motion by the conversation of Hatchway and received at different times a wholesome Philip from the discipline of his spouse who by the force of pride, religion and cognac had erected the most terrible tyranny in the house there was such a quick circulation of domestics in the family that every suit of livery had been worn because of all dimensions Trunnion himself had long before this time yielded to the torrent of her arbitrary sway though not without Diver's obstinate efforts to maintain his liberty and now that he was disabled by his infirmities when he used to bear his empress singing the loud Orthian song among the servants below he would often in whispers communicate to the lieutenant hints of what he would do if so be deprived of the use of his precious limbs Hatchway was the only person whom the temper of Mistress Trunnion respected either because she dreaded his ridicule or looked upon his person with eyes of affection this being the situation of things in the garrison it is not to be doubted that the old gentleman highly enjoyed the presence of Peregrine who found means to ingratiate himself so effectually that while he remained at home she seemed to have exchanged the disposition of a tigress for that of a gentle kid but he found his own mother as implacable and his father as much hen pecked as ever Gamaliel who now very seldom enjoyed the conversation of his old friend the Commodore at some time ago entered into an amicable society consisting of the barber, apothecary, attorney and excisement of the parish among whom he used to spend the evening at Tunleys and listened to their disputes upon philosophy and politics with great comfort and edification while his sovereign lady domineered at home as usual visited with pomp in the neighbourhood and employed her chief care in the education of her darling son Gam who was now in the fifteenth year of his age and so remarkable for his perverse disposition that in spite of his mother's influence and authority he was not only hated but also despised both at home and abroad she had put him under the tuition of the curate who lived in the family and was obliged to attend him in all his exercises and excursions this governor was a low-bred fellow who had neither experience nor ingenuity but possessed a large fund of adulation and servile complacence by which he had gained the good graces of Mistress Pickle and presided over all her deliberations in the same manner as his superior managed those of Mistress Trunnion he had one day rode out to take the air with his pupil who as I have already observed was odious to the poor people for having killed their dogs and broken their enclosures and on account of his hump distinguished by the title of my lord when in a narrow lane they chanced to meet Peregrine on horseback the young squire no sooner perceived his elder brother for whom he had been instructed to entertain the most inveterate grudge than he resolved to insult him en passant and actually rode against him from Gallup our hero gassing his aim fixed himself in his stirrups and by a dexterous management of the reins avoided the shock in such a manner as that their legs only should encounter by which means my lord was tilted out of his saddle and in a twinkling laid sprawling in the dirt the governor enraged at the disgrace of his charge advanced with great insolence and fury and struck at Peregrine with his whip nothing could be more agreeable to our young gentleman than this assault which furnished him with an opportunity of chastising in a vicious wretch whose petulance and malice he had longed to punish he therefore spurring up his horse towards his antagonist overthrew him in the middle of a hedge before he had time to recollect himself from the confusion of the fall Pickle alighted in a trice and exercised his horse whip with such agility about the curate's face and ears that he was feigned to prostrate himself before his enraged conqueror and implore his forbearance in the most abject terms while Peregrine was thus employed his brother Gamm had made shift to rise and attack him in the rear for which reason when the tutor was quelled the victor faced about snatched the weapon out of his hand and having broken it to pieces remounted his horse and rode off without daining to honour him with any other notice the condition in which they returned produced infinite clamour against the conqueror who was represented as a ruffian who had lain in ambush to make away with his brother in whose defence the curate was said to have received those cruel stripes that hindered him from appearing for three whole weeks in the performance of his duty at church complaints were made to the Commodore who having inquired into the circumstances of the affair approved of what his nephew had done adding with many oaths that provided Peregrine had been out of the scrape he wished Crookback had broken his neck in the fall End of Chapter 28 Recording by Martin Geeson in Hazelmere Surrey Chapter 29 of the Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Volume 1 This is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Martin Geeson The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Volume 1 by Tobias Smollett Chapter 29 he projects a plan of revenge which is executed against the curate our hero exasperated at the villainy of the curate in the treacherous misrepresentation he had made of this encounter determined to raise upon him a method of revenge which should be not only effectual but also unattended by any bad consequence to himself for this purpose he and Hatchway to whom he imparted his plan went to the alehouse one evening and called for an empty room knowing there was no other but that which they had chosen for the scene of action this apartment was a sort of a parlour that fronted the kitchen with a window towards the yard where after they had sat some time the lieutenant found means to amuse the landlord in discourse while Peregrine stepping out into the yard by the talent of mimicry which he possessed in a surprising degree counterfeited a dialogue between the curate and Tunley's wife this reaching the ears of the publican who was hearing it was calculated inflamed his naturally jealous disposition to such a degree that he could not conceal his emotion but made a hundred efforts to quit the room while the lieutenant smoking his pipe with great gravity as if he neither heard what passed nor took notice of the landlord's disorder detained him on the spot by a succession of questions which he could not refuse to answer though he stood sweating with agony all the time stretching his neck every instant towards the window through which the voices were conveyed scratching his head and exhibiting sundry other symptoms of impatience and agitation at length the supposed conversation came to such a pitch of amorous complacence that the husband, quite frantic with his imaginary disgrace rushed out of the door crying coming sir but as he was obliged to make a circuit round one half of the house Peregrine had got in by the window before Tunley arrived in the yard according to the feigned intelligence he had received he ran directly to the barn in expectation of making some very extraordinary discovery and having employed some minutes in rummaging the straw to no purpose returned in a state of distraction to the kitchen as his wife chanced to enter at the other door the circumstance of her appearance confirmed him in the opinion that the deed was done as the disease of being hen pecked was epidemic in the parish he durst not express the least hint of his uneasiness to her but resolved to take vengeance upon the libidinous priest who he imagined had corrupted the chastity of his spouse the two confederates in order to be certified that their scheme had taken effect as well as to blow up the flame which they had kindled called for Tunley in whose countenance they could easily discern his confusion Peregrine desiring him to sit down and drink a glass with them began to interrogate him about his family and among other things asked him how long he had been married to that handsome wife this question which was put with an arch significance of look alarmed the publican who began to fear that Pickle had overheard his dishonour and this suspicion was not at all removed when the lieutenant with a sly regard pronounced, Tunley, weren't you noosed by the curate? yes, I was, replied the landlord with an eagerness and perplexity of tone as if he thought the lieutenant knew that thereby hangs a tale and Hatchway supported the suspicion by nay, as for that matter the curate may be a very sufficient man in his way this transition from his wife to the curate convinced him that his shame was known to his guests and in the transport of his indignation he pronounced with great emphasis a sufficient man, odds heart I believe they are all wolves in sheep's clothing I wish to God I could see the day master when there shall not be a priest, an excised man or a custom house officer in the kingdom as for that fellow of a curate if I do catch him it don't signify talking but by the Lord, gentlemen, my service to you the associates being satisfied by these abrupt insinuations that they had so far succeeded in their aim waited with impatience two or three days in expectation of hearing that Tunley had fallen upon some method of being revenged for this imaginary wrong but finding that either his invention was too shallow or his inclination too languid to gratify the desire of his own accord they determined to bring the affair to such a crisis that he should not be able to withstand the opportunity of executing his vengeance with this in view they one evening hired a boy to run to Mr. Pickle's house and tell the curate that Mrs. Tunley being taken suddenly ill her husband desired he would come immediately and pray with her they had taken possession of a room in the house and Hatchway engaging the landlord in conversation Peregrine, in his return from the yard observed as if by accident that the parson was gone into the kitchen in order, as he supposed, to catechise Tunley's wife the publican started at this intelligence and under pretence of serving another company in the next room went out to the barn where, arming himself with a flail he repaired to a lane through which the curate was under a necessity of passing in his way home there he lay in ambush with foul intent and when the supposed author of his shame arrived greeted him in the dark with such a salutation as forced him to stagger back three paces at least if the second application had taken effect in all probability that spot would have been the boundary of the parson's mortal Peregrination but luckily for him his antagonist was not expert in the management of his weapon which by a twist of the thong that connected the legs instead of pitching upon the head of the astonished curate descended in an oblique direction on his own pate with such a swing that the skull actually rang like an apothecary's mortar and 10,000 lights seemed to dance before his eyes the curate recollecting himself during the respite he obtained from this accident and believing as aggressor to be some thief who lurked in that place for prey resolved to make a running fight until he should arrive within cry of his habitation with this design he raised up his cudgel for the defense of his head and betaking himself to his heels began to roar for help with the lungs of a sten-tor tunnly throwing away the flail which he durst no longer trust with the execution of his revenge pursued the fugitive with all the speed he could exert and the other, either unnerved by fear or stumbling over a stone was overtaken before he had run a hundred paces he no sooner felt the wind of the publican's fist that whistled round his ears than he fell flat upon the earth at full length and the cudgel flew from his unclassing hand when tunnly, springing like a tiger on his back reigned such a shower of blows upon his carcass that he imagined himself under the discipline of ten pairs of fists at least yet the imaginary cuckold not satisfied with annoying the priest in this manner laid hold of one of his ears with his teeth and bit so unmercifully that the curate was found almost entranced with pain by two laborers at whose approach the assailant retreated unperceived the lieutenant had posted himself at the window in order to see the landlord at his first return and no sooner perceived him enter the yard than he called him into the apartment impatient to learn the effects of their stratagem tunnly obeyed the summons and appeared before his guests in all the violence of rage, disorder and fatigue his nostrils were dilated more than one half beyond their natural capacity his eyes rolled, his teeth chattered he snored in breathing as if he had been oppressed by the nightmare and streams of sweat flowed down each side of his forehead peregrine affecting to start at the approach of such an uncouth figure asked if he had been with a spirit upon which he answered with great vehemence spirit, no no master I have had a roll and a tumble with the flash a dog I'll teach him to come a catawall in about my door guessing from this reply that his aim was accomplished and curious to know the particulars of their encounter well then said the youth I hope you have prevailed against the flesh tunnly yes, yes answered the publican I have cooled his cappesons as the saying is I have played such a tune about his ears that I'll be boundy shant long for music this month a gotish man-faced rascal why is a perfect parish ball as I hope to live Hatchway observing that he seemed to have made a stout battle desired he would sit down and recover wind and after he had swallowed a brace of bumpers his vanity prompted him to expatiate upon his own exploit in such a manner that the Confederates without seeming to know the curate was his antagonist became acquainted with every circumstance of the ambuscade tunnly had scarce got the better of his agitation when his wife entering the room told them by way of news that some waggish body had sent Mr. Sackbutt the curate to pray with her this name inflamed the husband's collar anew and forgetting all his complacence for his spouse he replied with a rancorous grin had rabbit him I doubt not but you found his admonitions deadly comfortable the landlady looking at her vassal with a sovereign aspect what crotchets said she have you got in your fool's head I throw I know no business you have to sit here like a gentleman with your arms a Kimbo there's another company in the house to be served the submissive husband took the hint without further expostulation sneaked out of the room next day it was reported that Mr. Sackbutt had been way-laid and almost murdered by robbers and an advertisement was pasted upon the church door offering a reward to any person that should discover the assassin but he reaped no satisfaction from this expedient and was confined to his chamber a whole fortnight by the bruises he had received End of Chapter 29 Recording by Martin Geeson in Hazelmere Surrey Chapter 30 of The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Volume 1 This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Martin Geeson The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Volume 1 By Tobias Smollett Chapter 30 Mr. Sackbutt and his pupil conspire against Peregrine who being apprised of their design by his sister takes measures for counter-working their scheme which is executed by mistake upon Mr. Gauntlet This young soldier meets with the cordial reception from the Commodore who generously decoys him into his own interest When he considered the circumstances of the Amber Skade he could not persuade himself that he had been assaulted by a common thief because it was not to be supposed that a robber would have amused himself in pummeling rather than in rifling his prey He therefore ascribed his misfortune to the secret enmity of a young person who had a design upon his life and upon mature deliberation fixed his suspicion upon Peregrine who was the only man on earth from whom he thought he deserved such treatment He communicated his conjecture to his pupil who readily adopted his opinion and advised him strenuously to revenge the wrong by a like contrivance without seeking to make a narrower inquiry lest his enemy should be thereby put upon his guard This proposal being relished they in concert revolved the means of retorting the ambush with interest and actually laid such a villainous plan for attacking our hero in the dark that had it been executed according to their intention the young gentleman's scheme of travelling would have been effectually marred but their machinations were overheard by Miss Pickle who was now in the seventeenth year of her age and in spite of the prejudice of education entertained in secret a most sisterly affection for her brother Perry though she had never spoken to him and was deterred by the precepts, vigilance and menaces of her mother from attempting any means of meeting him in private She was not however insensible to his praise which was loudly sounded forth in the neighbourhood and never failed of going to church and every other place where she thought she might have an opportunity of seeing this amiable brother With these sentiments it cannot be supposed that she would hear the conspiracy without emotion She was shocked at the treacherous barbarity of gam and shuddered at the prospect of the danger to which Perrigan would be exposed from their malice She durst not communicate this plan to her mother because she was afraid that lady's unaccountable aversion for her first born would hinder her from interposing in his behalf and consequently render her a sort of accomplice in the guilt of his assassins She therefore resolved to warn Perrigan of the conspiracy an account of which she transmitted to him in an affectionate letter I mean to a young gentleman in that neighbourhood who made his addresses to her at that time and who at her request offered his service to our hero in defeating the projects of his adversaries Perrigan was startled when he read the particulars of their scheme which was no other than an intention to sally upon him when he should be altogether unprovided against such an attack cut off his ears and otherwise mutilate him in such a manner that he should have no cause to be vain of his person for the future incensed as he was against the brutal disposition of his own father's son he could not help being moved at the integrity and tenderness of his sister of whose inclinations towards him he had been hitherto kept in ignorance he thanked the gentleman for his honourable dealing and expressed a desire of being better acquainted with his virtues told him that now he was cautioned he hoped there would be no necessity for giving him any further trouble and wrote by him a letter of acknowledgement to his sister for whom he expressed the utmost love and regard beseeching her to favour him with an interview before his departure that he might indulge his eternal fondness and be blessed with the company and countenance of one at least belonging to his own family having imparted this discovery to his friend Hatchway they came to a resolution of counter-mining the plan of their enemies as they did not choose to expose themselves to the insinuations of slander which would have exerted itself at their expense had they even in defending themselves employed any harsh means of retaliation they invented a method of disappointing and disgracing their foes and immediately set pipes at work to forward the preparations Miss Pickle having described the spot which the assassins had pitched upon for the scene of their vengeance our triumvirate intended to have placed a sentinel among the corn who should come and give them intelligence when the ambuscade was laid and in consequence of that information they would steal softly towards the place attended by three or four of the domestics and draw a large net over the conspirators who being entangled in the toil should be disarmed fettered, heartily scourged and suspended between two trees in the snare as a spectacle to all passengers that should chance to travel that way the plan being thus digested and the Commodore acquainted with the whole affair the spy was sent upon duty and everybody within doors prepared to go forth upon the first notice one whole evening did they spend in the most impatient expectation but on the second the scout crept into the garrison and assured them that he had perceived three men skulking behind the hedge on the road that led to the public house from which Peregrine and the lieutenant used every night to return about that hour upon this intelligence the Confederates set out immediately with all their implements approaching the scene with as little noise as possible they heard the sound of blows and though the night was dark perceived a sort of tumultuous conflict on the very spot which the conspiracers have possessed surprised at this occurrence the meaning of which he could not comprehend Peregrine ordered his Mermidans to halt and reconnoitre and immediately his ears were saluted with an exclamation of you shan't escape me rascal the voice being quite familiar to him he at once devined the cause of that confusion which they had observed and running up to the assistance of the exclaimer found a fellow on his knees begging his life of Mr. Gauntlet who stood over him with the naked hangar in his hand Pickle instantly made himself known to his friend who told him that having left his horse at Tunlith he was in his way to the garrison set upon by three Ruffians one of whom being the very individual person now in his power had come behind him and struck with a bludgeon at his head which however he missed and the instrument descended on his left shoulder that upon drawing his hangar and laying about him in the dark the other two fled leaving their companion whom he had disabled in the lurch Peregrine congratulated him on his safety and having ordered pipes to secure the prisoner conducted Mr. Gauntlet to the garrison where he met with a very hearty reception from the Commodore to whom he was introduced as his nephew's intimate friend not but that in all likelihood he would have abated somewhat of his hospitality had he known that he was the brother of Perry's mistress but her name the old gentleman had never thought of asking when he inquired into the particulars of his godsons Amur the captive being examined in the presence of Trunnion and all his adherents touching the ambuscade owned that being in the service of Gam Pickel he had been prevailed upon by the solicitations of his master and the curate to accompany them in their expedition and undertake the part which he had acted against the stranger whom he and his employers mistook for Peregrine in consideration of this frank acknowledgement and a severe wound he had received in his right arm they resolved to inflict no other punishment on this benefactor than to detain him all night in the garrison and next morning carry him before a justice of the peace to whom he repeated all he had said overnight and with his own hand subscribed his confession copies of which were handed about the neighbourhood to the unspeakable confusion and disgrace of the curate and his promising pupil meanwhile Trunnion treated the young soldier with uncommon marks of respect being pre-possessed in his favour by this adventure which he had so gallantly achieved as well as by the incomiums that Peregrine bestowed upon his valour and generosity he liked his countenance which was bold and hardy admired his Herculean limbs and delighted in asking questions concerning the service he had seen the day after his arrival while the conversation turned on this last subject the Commodore taking the pipe out of his mouth I'll tell you what brother said he five and forty years ago when I was third lieutenant of the Warwick Man of War there was a very stout young fellow on board a subultant officer of Marines his name was not unlike your own you see being Guntlet with a G I remember he and I could not abide one another at first because you see I was a sailor and he a landsman so we fell in with a Frenchman whom we engaged for eight glasses and at length boarded and took I was the first man that stood on the enemy's deck and should have come scurvily off you see if Guntlet had not jumped to my assistance but we soon cleared ship and drove them to close quarters so they were obliged to strike and from that day Guntlet and I were sworn brothers as long as he remained on board he was exchanged into a marching regiment and what became of him afterwards Lord in heaven knows but this I'll say of him whether he be dead or alive he feared no man that ever wore a head and was moreover a very hearty messmate the strangest breast glowed at this eulogium which was no sooner pronounced than he eagerly asked if the French ship was not the diligence the Commodore replied with a stare the very same my lad then said Guntlet the person of whom you are pleased to make such honorable mention was my own father the devil he was Cried trunnions shaking him by the hand I am rejoiced to see a son of Ned Guntlet in my house this discovery introduced a thousand questions in the course of which the old gentleman learned the situation of his friend's family and discharged innumerable execrations upon the ingratitude and injustice of the ministry which had failed to provide for the son of such a brave soldier nor was his friendship confined to such ineffectual expressions he that same evening signified to Peregrine a desire of doing something for his friend this inclination was so much praised and encouraged and promoted by his godson and even supported by his counsellor Hatchway that our hero was empowered to present him with a sum of money sufficient to purchase a commission though nothing could be more agreeable to Pickle than this permission he was afraid that Godfrey's scrupulous disposition would hinder him from subjecting himself to any such obligation and therefore proposed that he should be decoyed into his own interest by a feigned story in consequence of which he would be prevailed upon to accept of the money as a debt which the Commodore had contracted of his father at sea Trunnion made rye faces at this expedient the necessity of which he could not conceive without calling in question the common sense of Guntlet as he took it for granted that such offers as those were not to be rejected on any consideration whatever besides he could not digest an artifice by which he himself must own that he had lived so many years without manifesting the least intention of doing justice to his creditor all these objections however were removed by the zeal and rhetoric of Peregrine who represented that it would be impossible to befriend him on any other terms that his silence hitherto would be imputed his want of information touching the circumstances and condition of his friend and that is remembering and insisting upon discharging the obligation after such an interval of time when the whole affair was in oblivion would be the greatest compliment he could pay to his own honour and integrity thus persuaded he took an opportunity of Guntlet's being alone with him to broach the affair telling the young man that his father had advanced a sum of money for him when they sailed together on the count of the mess as well as to stop the mouth of a clamorous creditor at Portsmouth and that the said sum with interest amounted to about £400 which he would now with great thankfulness repay Godfrey was amazed at this declaration and after a considerable pause he replied that he had never heard his parents mention any such debt that no memorandum or voucher of it was found among his father's papers and that in all probability it must have been discharged long ago although the Commodore in such a long course of time and hurry of occupation might have forgotten the repayment he therefore desired to be excused from accepting what in his own conscience he believed was not his due and entered the old gentleman upon his being so scrupulously just and honourable the soldier's refusal which was matter of astonishment to Trunnion increased his inclination to assist him and on pretense of acquitting his own character he urged his beneficence with such obstinacy that Guntlet, afraid of disobliging him was in a manner compelled to receive a draft for the money for which he subscribed an ample discharge and immediately transmitted the order to his mother whom at the same time he informed of the circumstances by which they had so unexpectedly gained this accession of fortune such a piece of news could not fail of being agreeable to Mrs. Guntlet who by the first post wrote a polite letter of acknowledgement to the Commodore another to her own son importing that she had already sent the draft to a friend in London with directions to deposit it in the hands of a certain banker for the purchase of the first ensancy to be sold and she took the liberty of sending a third to Peregrine couched in very affectionate terms with a kind postscript signed by Miss Sophie and his charming Emily this affair being transacted to the satisfaction of all concerned preparations were set on foot for the departure of our hero on whom his uncle settled an annuity of 800 pounds being little less than one half of his whole income by this time indeed the old gentleman could easily afford to alienate such a part of his fortune because he entertained little or no company kept few servants and was remarkably plain and frugal in his housekeeping Mistress Trunnion being now some years on the wrong side of 50 her infirmities began to increase and though her pride had suffered no diminution her vanity was altogether subdued by her avarice a Swiss Valais de Chambre who had already made the tour of Europe was hired for the care of Peregrine's own person pipes being ignorant of the French language as well as otherwise unfit for the office of a fashionable attendant it was resolved that he should remain in garrison and his place was immediately supplied by a Parisian lackey engaged at London for that purpose pipes did not seem to relish this disposition of things and though he made no verbal objections to it looked remarkably sour at his successor upon his first arrival but this sullen fit seemed gradually to wear off and long before his master's departure he had recovered his natural tranquility and unconcern End of Chapter 30 Recording by Martin Giesen in Hazelmere Surrey