 George Bruno with the 21 report the European edition and we're in Warsaw, Poland. We're talking with Ryan black Welcome. Thanks for having me. Yeah Well, you just got off stage and you were talking about the five alpha traits and I Asked you what are your two favorites and you said taking responsibility and indifference. What does that mean? sure so The I think a huge thing these days, especially in the kind of in the manasphere and Online it's always been present But I think some of the factors have kind of really brought it into relief is I think Many guys out there are too quick to blame external factors Especially external factors that they don't have control over for the lack of results in their life. And so Too many times I see I see comments online and on forums and stuff like that. I I speak to I speak to guys speak to friends and things like that and they're like saying things about how you know feminism is ruining society and I I Agree to a large extent. There's there's lots of things that are very negative out there There's a portrayal of men in the media as essentially being you know, we're all rapists early now You know Gillette is telling us, you know, how dare you go up and oh, there's a girl walking past I'm gonna go up and say hi. Oh, no, not cool, bro And so, you know, this stuff is all is all really happening But the question is it's like, okay That's that's society, you know, that's an ad. That's what's going on out there but Do you have control over like do you have control over the media over what adds Gillette put out over What the suicide rate is for men on average? It's like those are all bad things, but it's like I only have control over Myself like my physical body what I do what I say by mindsets and like my beliefs in here So it's very easy to go like, oh, well, I you know, I don't have a girlfriend because like all women are like feminizes and it's like well, I Don't know. Oh, you know more of them now these days are maybe But there's still plenty women out there that aren't and don't buy into that I mean, we're in a country here here in Russia as well. There was a Something in the media just the other day saying that like, you know, Russian women basically just haven't embraced feminism At all they just not interested in so there's plenty of women around the world But don't buy into that kind of ideology in that narrative And so why not you want to take responsibility for your own results in your own life and Go out and create more opportunities to find the type of girl that you'd like to be with that shares your values and and You know, just just just do that instead of going. Oh, there's no point because You know of society or whatever it is It's the same kind of thing as when when a business owner or an entrepreneur goes Oh, my business is failing because of the economy. That's like well The economy is a pretty big thing. There's lots of areas of it and you can't really you can't really affect the economy But you can you know start prospecting and bring out a new product and call your existing customers There's all kinds of stuff you can do to create opportunities to grow your business if you want to But most people take the easy way out which is to go Basically not take responsibility and go oh, it's other people's fault that I'm not happy and I'm in a place that I don't want to be And I'm not paying the results that I wouldn't get so I think the number one thing like if I'm ever gonna take I'm ever gonna take a client on to work with them You know in person and go out and fill with them and spend six eight hours a day with them They have to have done that first step of taking responsibility and being like if they're blaming other people for their problems I'm not even gonna take I'm not even a while with them. So I think that's definitely that's definitely a key one When it comes to indifference My definition of indifference isn't this idea of like oh like I don't care whatever so like you know you go up and You know try and start a conversation with the girl and then she's like oh no thank you You're like oh whatever I didn't even like her anyway. Like that's not indifference. That's just ego That's just you sort of Projecting this false sense of like oh, I didn't care what actually you do and it hurt you You're hurt by this rejection. So you put on this false facade of like oh, I'm you know, I don't care That's not indifference indifference is not Emotionally investing in any one particular outcome situation and so too many too many guys They go if they see it, you know, they see an opportunity and they want this they want the book they want the The material they want the script So that they like I'll say all these things and then I'll get this result And they want that sense of like essentially that that sense of certainty that oh, I'm gonna get this result if I do all this stuff right and The fact is is that no like even the greatest whatever conversation was in the world even the greatest Performer in the world even the greatest You know, whatever pick up artist if you you know someone called themselves that in the world doesn't know What exactly is going to happen with every single? Interactional thing that they do this you can't know that you can't know how somebody is going to react to what we do So this this search for certainty is an illusion in and of itself And what happens is guys go okay? I'm gonna learn these things and then I'm gonna go and I'm gonna do this and so they've been they've invested emotionally They they they have this Essentially this neediness like I need for my the stuff I say to get a good reaction Right. I need it to work. I need to get a result. I need to get her phone number I need to get out to smile and you to get to like me and If that doesn't happen then I've decided to feel Unworthy and unhappy and angry and all the rest of it and that's that's neediness and that's why it's that's very very Attractive so the flip side of that is indifference, which is just like I'm gonna go and do my best I'm gonna give out one of the other ones I talked about earlier. It's just giving value, but I'm just gonna give value I'm gonna be social. I'm gonna interact with people. I'm gonna say hi. I'm gonna whatever it is. I'm gonna go fast I'm gonna risk maybe looking like an idiot or saying the wrong thing or having people laugh at me But I'm just gonna give some value and then if someone find you know is interested Fantastic, and if someone isn't that's okay, too So I'm indifferent to any one particular outcome as in I'm not judging Anyone particular outcome is good or bad or anything to do with me or that there's something wrong with me and that I failed Yes, if it doesn't go exactly the way that I like that I hope for I'm just gonna go in throw somebody about that And whoever bites bites and fantastic and if no one's interested that's cool, too So there's no emotional deep emotional investment in the very beginning Absolutely, which is I mean that only makes sense. Like that's why I find it. I don't when When women especially will do this like on online dating and stuff like that they'll be like Oh, what do you know? What are you looking for in like the messages before we've met up for a date to me? That's really weird because it's like how do you know You know what I mean, it's like that's weird like how have you invested so much that you care It's like let's just find each other. I'll let you know after I meet you exactly exactly It's the same it's the same thing like girls can feel it when it's like I you know the guy feels like oh I really need this and they also feel something that like they'll feel more they'll definitely feel more traction if they feel like You know this guy likes me, but he doesn't need me Like he clearly has other options and has other stuff in his life That's more important than me and although they'll act and say things especially in a relationship as if they don't like that That is that is an attractive trait because it's weird to be like I don't know anything about you. We've just met but I need I desperately need you to like me That's weird. That's creepy. Yeah. Yeah What is the most frequent issue that you encounter when dealing with men's confidence? Is it that they've been? Deep programmed of their masculinity by society by the media. What do you encounter? Yeah So we we tend to get a large A large amount of guys with engineer in that job title So it's probably the most most frequent job title that that we see on that the application forms to work with us and so those guys tend to be very analytical very logical they did well in school and Doing well in school is kind of double-edged sword because yes You'll probably be able to get a good job But you've been programmed with the belief with the belief that the more I think about things and the more knowledge I have and the more right I am Then the more I'm winning and the better my life will be and the more people will you know Everything will go great the more things I know and the more right I am and them and if there's ever an issue or a problem The way to solve it is to think about it And then they try to apply that same mindset to their dating lives and it fails miserably Yes, because you can't out you can't out think your way out of social anxiety In fact thinking about it and I'll I'd be like why do I feel like this? I shouldn't be feeling this way Why can't I stop feeling this way? That only means it was So definitely programming in terms of Society and sort of schooling and stuff like that gives them really really bad mindsets being overly logical and analytical Especially in social interactions, right? So helping them be more playful something we spend a lot of time doing being able to Improvise and just be in the moment and be present engineers are really not known for their playfulness Exactly, exactly. So that's something that we spend we spent a whole week with one guy on exactly that just getting him to be able to look at for example, I went with him to a To an art gallery in London And the game we were playing was literally just to look at a painting and just make up something about That was wrong like just whatever comes to mind like oh this painting was painted in 1752 By the you know the architect of the building of it, which is whatever and he couldn't do it because in his mind if he's if the thing that he's about to say isn't correct, then he is not allowed to say it and So yeah, one of the things we will often work on with those guys who are very logical is being okay with saying something that's That's stupid. That's silly and just having fun with that and doing things like an improv comedy There's the concept of yes, I am right. So just whatever somebody says even if it's broken, right? If it's wrong, you just agree with it and then you would say and also right and And so we do you know exercises and stuff stuff around that so being playful getting out of that getting out of that programming and fundamentally Like it all comes back to it's something that I think I said It all comes back to the concept of self acceptance right acceptance and Acceptance in general so acceptance of whatever happens has happened so accept it because fighting against a thing that has already happened is Complete pointless waste of time. It's already happened and then also accepting yourself. So being okay with yourself Right, that's something, you know, we were we was talking and one of the guys was like, oh, you know, you were your presentation was really good I know you said your performance is really good Was really good. I thanked him and I was like, well, it helps when it's not performance because it's just Just be talking and hopefully when people when people see like one one thing that The people remark on it's like if I'm standing on stage, I'm speaking to you I'm speaking to one of the guys out there. I'm pretty much the same person Yeah, like I might be a little bit more high energy like on camera or on the stage to kind of get the message across But I'm pretty much the same person because I have accepted myself like I'm okay with who I am I know that, you know, I might look a bit weird to some people and I might say some stuff that might offend some people and You know, people might not agree with me or whatever it is But I'm okay with who I am and if people You know don't like me or are offended by me. That's that's totally fine I'm okay with it and I think so many people they're Just in life in general not necessarily a guy who's into, you know, learning about meeting women or whatever it is They are coming from a place of Fundamentally and this is where I think that most of the material up there like mystery to me mystery method comes from a deep place of Lack of self-worth and self-loathing fundamentally It's it's teaching guys that a girl would never be in a girl who's all the way up here Who's so beautiful would never be interested in you until you unless you do all of these things to bring her down and DHV and and Amog those guys and neg her and do all that you have to do all these things and Then once you've done these techniques correctly, then it's okay to just express that you're interested in her Because if you ever just expressed to that you're interested from the very beginning, of course You would instantly reject you because look at you. You're worthless. You're disgusting. You know, that's what that's what that's what Eric really believe like deep down That's what he believes about myself and that's why whenever there's any issues in his life And when I you know when his girlfriend breaks up with him he fucking normal scum at suicide. Yeah so so that's self it comes down to self-acceptance and Teaching guys working with guys and doing exercises and stuff like that I mentioned social freedom and stuff like social freedom exercises is just doing things where you're doing something a little bit So you're saying something that's you know, not correct. It's a bit wrong It's a bit silly where somebody might judge you negatively where someone might think oh that person that guy's being weird and then just coming to terms and sitting in the moment and being okay with it and then realizing oh my my feeling like my feelings and My thoughts and my ego and all that and what people think of me none of that is me none of that is actually who I am and When you do that and when you accept like I accept who I am I might not be exactly where I want to be I'm gonna have exactly the results. I want I might not You know, I'm certainly not perfect But who I deep down who I actually am like who I like my core values and all that stuff Glenn is Actually pretty awesome and then from there expressing from that place is Fundamentally, that's what authenticity is which is a big part of what What means Sasha and our company teachers? so you're You're actually saying that there's hope for guys who feel like there's no hope Yeah, I mean I I see it a lot online and I mean I've even kind of gone into some of those some of the more Negative like online communities and stuff of that of guys. You're really like there's no point, you know guys say stuff like You know you have to like these days in in you know in The West you have to you have to be like six foot four You have to be a millionaire you have to have six pack abs and you know You have to do all this stuff just to have a hope that maybe You know like an average girl will even look at you and that's that's Like what they they genuine things so they look at that and go look I have to be all these things that I'm not So just to even have a hope of even being able to say hi to a girl without a spitting my face So then so what's even the point so it goes back to that thing of you know responsibility of like well It's just so impossible and so hard That you know why why even bother and then everything so stacked against me They demand all this and also feminism and everything else and it'll be sexual harassment if I do it Because I'm ugly and all the stuff and the thing is is I get it because three years into my journey of Studying mystery method and getting nowhere with it. I was exact I was literally that I pretty much believe all of that because I thought that my lack of result That's the other terrible thing mystery method does to people is it teaches you like these look these are the techniques You do these techniques right they will work right mystery mystery says in the book An MPU a master pickup artist does the technique so well that five out of five Right. He approaches five girls. He gets five numbers. He goes on five dates. He gets five relationships He's you for five drinks, right? That's what that's what perfection is and that's impossible Yeah, that's absurd. Yeah, because that's that essentially says that these techniques are so good that they remove women's free will Right doesn't matter what a type is right doesn't matter if she's already in relationship these techniques is so I'm good You'll you'll get ladies if you use them up and then the flip side of that is if I don't get that result I'm doing it wrong And if I'm sure if I saw I'm checking back overall, I'm doing all the techniques exactly as I said Well, there must be something really wrong with me Because I know all the stuff. This is where I was I know all the stuff I'm doing it all just like the book says and I'm not getting anywhere So I must be so ugly So unattractive to women for some reason that this stuff that can't even work for me And that that's where I was so so close to giving up And luckily then and glad and you know, I'm very very glad and that's that's the thing I was talking about with one of the guys outside is I'm glad for all of it, right? I'm glad I had those really negative experiences and work through all that stuff getting into sort of You know mystery mother stuff did put me on the path of like self-development and going to the gym and all the stuff Which I think is great But I'm glad it was hard because it got me to the exact place right it put me in that place where it's like I have to I Have to do something different. I have to find Something that's that's going to change things and I have to take the responsibility to invest in myself and Actually pay you know a lot of money at the time for me To invest in it to invest in of course, so I'm you know, I'm glad I I'm glad I went through all that So, you know for those guys They're it there. They're absolutely is hope. They're absolutely is hope as long as you're willing to accept that maybe The results that you're currently experiencing are down to you and your beliefs So this is what I'm thinking there's a guy sitting home right now and he's watching his mobile device and he's been thinking it's game over Talk to that guy right there. Let him know that There was a little bit of hope. What would you say to him? What I'd say is this I absolutely understand that Because I was there I was in I was in a moment a few years ago Where I was ready to give up where I was posting on a forum going this whole game thing and you know Meeting women and all these techniques that they're all bullshit, right? I know all of them I've tried all of them. They haven't worked for me and They that must be because they can only work if you're already super good-looking and super rip and Super successful and really rich and all and all the rest of it and then an average guy like me I can't even use these things to get so there's just no point I was right right there, but what I what I say to this women are not looking For perfection. There's no there's no need for you to be perfect and have it made and have all the stuff You don't need that. There's there's girls walking around I guarantee you because I prove this every single day when I do training with guys just you know average guys like you and me come on come on my trainings and They Experienced this for themselves in person. They see it for themselves That there there's girls walking around today right now That would absolutely love to meet you just the way you are Exactly as you are right now. No no change. You don't need to be you know, even more ripped You don't have any more money you can come from the gym be all sweaty and gross or whatever And there's a girl walking around who would love to meet you all you have to do is know the best way of starting that conversation and you have to have the right beliefs in your mind to believe that when you go up to her you're coming from the right place the place of giving value in that conversation the place of Accepting yourself and being okay being present in that moment and from a place of genuine curiosity of wanting to get to know her and Enjoying a social interaction just for its own sake not because you want to get something out of her from a place of meeting this but because you just love giving value in that moment expressing yourself authentically and taking Not just taking the responsibility for your results in your own life But being willing to go and take action To go for what you want in life just doing that just showing that you're willing to go for what you want in life To a woman is a very very attractive trait and that's something you can go outside and do right now That is quite optimistic. I like that. How can people find you? They can go to infinite man summit comm is the site There's lots of different events and workshops that me and Sasha and our US instructor might do all around the world And you can also find me on Facebook online black. There's a picture of this strange-looking face on there And yeah, definitely check out those sites as workshops actually Sasha has it has a really great New workshop he's doing called comedy therapy, which is all about using finding humor in your past experiences and Challenging scenarios and things in life Find the humor in them so that you're able to talk about yourself Do a comedy set if you want to but just Just be able to express those and it's a really great way to not only have a lot of fun get a bit more playful but also actually Find that find that self-acceptance like look back at your life and be like I can actually laugh at those those those somewhat negative moments and experiences now and it's a great way to connect with other guys experience us and What Sasha does and kind of a fun way and it's less it's like 50 bucks or something So it's well worth checking out if it's a point those is in your area Ryan black from Internet man summit calm. Thank you, sir. Thanks very much