 Welcome friends to the Being Human Podcast. My name's Scott St. Marie. Thank you for joining on YouTube, hitting the notification bell thing. Thank you for joining on Spotify and iTunes, wherever you are. We're talking about happiness today. A huge part about being human is that we chase moods. Isn't that a strange thing? Now we need to focus on ourselves with food, water, shelter, you know Maslow's hierarchy, but then we begin to sculpt and mold our life so a mood fits. A mood, something so movable. Emotion, something so in motion that we try to create a life that fits something that moves. Isn't that strange? Isn't that so strange that the things we do, the things we think about, the actions that we take surrounded by this idea that it better make me happy. I'm doing this so I feel a certain way. Oh, that's strange. Now it kind of makes sense to a degree where, okay, I want to go get this job because, you know, I think it'll fulfill me and I'll be good at it. I'm going to get in this relationship. I'm going to buy this car. I'm going to move to this house. I'm going to cut off my genitalia because it'll make me feel happier. Now of course there's balance in all this and we as human beings need to realize, but we have trouble holding two truths at the same time that I can focus on myself and I can chase a feeling to a degree and certain things in my life will help me be my true authentic self. I need to remove things from my life and I do need to chase and pursue things, right? Of course, of course, but at the same time in order for you to be happy, we need to forget about ourselves and that's what I'd like to talk about today. Look around, man. Look at your rectangle of pixels that we walk around with. Look at Gen Z. Look at millennials like myself so completely consumed with our own identity, with our own thoughts, consumed by our own feelings. It's all about what I want. It's about what I feel. How will they perceive me? What will they think of me? How will I fit in? What will I do? What am I feeling? Those that deal with anxiety and depression in their vocabulary, they use the words I and me more because this is so self-consuming and the world is so heavy and everything we think is about us. Like a black hole that consumes all light and nothing can then escape from it. In grade six, I did a speech about black holes. I remember it like it was yesterday. In grade six, I was thinking about space and this idea that nothing can escape from this area in space. If you deal with anxiety or some low moods at times, you're probably a very conscious and very awake person at times. So you probably had these big thoughts as a kid. Welcome to the club. So like a black hole in today's generation, we're so consumed with ourselves. Where does that lead us? It leads us to a TikTok generation. It leads us to completely being narcissistic. It leads us to using other people only to fuel our own self-interest. That is a slippery slope to the gates of hell, to the devil's penis. What do we do about that? Since the 1950s when the self-help thing started, man, we've just been so consumed with ourselves. It's about me. It's about me expressing myself. I want to wear the speedo to work and get both my nipples pierced and if my boss doesn't like it, that's discrimination. Come on, man, let's be real with ourselves. We're not that important. I'm not that important. I have a freaking YouTube channel. I look at myself on a screen and talk about stuff. I'm not that important. Even when I get on stage and do a talk, it's very easy for me to say, this is all about me. Look at all the eyes on me. This feels good, but you know what stops me there. And this is the key that I'd like to talk about. To remove ourselves from ourselves, we be of service to others. This is the key to happiness, my friends. It only took me 33 years to realize. You don't have to go to Costa Rica and do an ayahuasca trip. You don't need to take psilocybin and do a huge trip. You don't need to take LSD to deflate your ego. Be of service to others. That's the fastest way. Actually, no, that's not the fastest way. I would say it's the most rewarding way. The way to heaven is a very, very, very long staircase. It's not even an escalator. It's definitely not an elevator. It's the stairway to heaven. Maybe that's why they wrote it that way. It's long, man. It's step by step. It's intimidating. There's steps that are missing. You got to jump over a slippery banana peel. There's gum on the stairs. It gets stuck in your shoe. It's not an easy road up there. It's not an easy case. If you want to reach this idea of happiness, whatever that means to you, fulfillment, contentment, we need two things to forget about yourself. To be of service and to have a mission. What is the mission? When we have a mission, I feel like my mission is to help people and guide them to see the good in themselves. Yeah, it hit me the other day when I was coaching. I'm like, I think that's the thing because we beat ourselves up so much. It's so, the self-critic is so strong in today's culture because we compare ourselves with others. It's my job to help people see the good in what they do and who they are. If you have a mission, if you have a way to serve others, well, this focus on yourself has an outlet. It's not self-consuming and self-interested. The cyclical thoughts that drive us a little anxious, you have something to barf on. We all need something to barf on. Not disgusting barf, beautiful barf. Creative barf. There's those artists that do barf art. They eat all this food coloring stuff and they barf on a canvas and that's art. They sell it for like 50 grand. Use your mission for barf art. I'm serious though. If we're all consumed and we do all of the work just for ourselves, like I'm doing this so I can get the TV, so I can get the car, so then I can buy this and do this and go on vacation for myself and I'm going to do this to pleasure this and this. You know where that leads. I know where that leads. It's so unsatisfying. It's the most hollow experience a human being can have. It's so hollow. All I want to do with money, if I had all the money in the world it would make me so happy to give it away. Not all of it. I'd love a yacht. I'd love a yacht, but I take you all with me. What's the point of having everything if you don't share? What good does it profit a man to gain the world but loses soul? Happiness isn't about you. It's the byproduct of when you are of service to others. And by service, I don't mean you need to start a nonprofit and do stuff for free. No, because that's the way into poverty as well. We need to make money. We need to have a job. We need to offer something to the world that aligns with our mission. What's your mission? This is the homework for today's episode of never giving you a homework ever. When we have that mission, the moods drip on us lightly, like rain on an umbrella. Like when we're walking the rain, it drips off our shoulders and lands in puddles. When we have that mission, when it's not just about us, we aren't so consumed with feeling. We aren't so consumed with thought because we wake up with direction. Forget about yourself. That's the path to happiness. Forget it. On YouTube, all I ever wanted was a big audience. All I ever wanted was a lot of subscribers. All I ever wanted was to talk in front of a lot of people so they could see me. I wanted people to see me. I wanted to be heard. I wanted to be understood. The mission wasn't about the crowd at the beginning. The mission wasn't about the audience and the listeners. The mission was about me. That leads to burnout. That leads to the fire, dude. We get burnt up. That's why it's called burnout. We go and we experience health for a little bit. We're like, holy jeez, it's hot down here. Obviously, this self-serving stuff isn't working. And you see this in culture everywhere. You see this on social media everywhere. People are building a business. They're doing this. They're giving advice, but it's all for them. It's all for them. It's all self-serving with video metrics and likes and validation and attention and admiration. Cut it out. Forget about yourself and you will be one with the universe. You will give shade to all people. Listen, man. You will be the light that when you light up a lantern, remember this verse and I forget Mark or John or whatever. People don't light a lantern and put it under the bed. You light it and you put it on the lampstand so then the light sheds to other people. You can be a tree and a tree doesn't offer shade to only a few people. A tree so big and so wondrous and so confident in itself grows regardless, but offers shade to anyone that comes by. I feel like a tree doesn't think about itself. It just is and offers shade to those who come by. You can offer light to those who come by. Be selfish in your needs, in your psychological needs and self-care. Take care of yourself. Start to really love yourself. Off yourself compassion. There's all the free videos in the description. You can talk to me. You can join our Zoom groups. You can do that. Do that kind of work. It's very important. It's taken me a long, long time, but that's not the end. This is the fuel for then the outlet and where do you put your energy, love and attention then? You put it to other people. You put it to something you really like that will benefit and be something bigger than you. Forget about yourself and you'll be the happiest person in the world. I'd like to thank you all for listening to today's episode and what do you call these? We'll just call them episodes, rants and thoughts and lectures, whatever you call it. I'd like to thank you so much for joining. Take this with you today. Your homework. Think about a mission. Now, Scott, what is a mission? Just put down a few words, man. Put down one word. What's your mission? I remember my time with the Jesuits. He said, he brought me, we were in a room together talking about the heaviness of existence and I was, I'm struggling sometimes, man. It's heavy stuff. And he says my mission is empowerment because whether I'm a custodian or whether I'm a teacher, whether I'm a Jesuit, whether I'm an account manager or account coordinator, whether I'm a salesman, whether I'm a nurse, that mission follows me everywhere, whatever I do. What's your mission? And think of that when life gets heavy. Forget about yourself. Forget about yourself. Put your energy towards something outside of you. And I promise you, life will get a little lighter. Let me tell you one more story. Hey, let's keep talking. One more story, actually, this is important. I was at an event a few days ago and it was like bring a plus one and I'm like, I don't have a plus one, whatever. So there was like 40 people and I'm alone, but I'm in pain. I got some physical stuff going on that I've been working through, but I'm in some pain, man. Now, what would be better? I was thinking, okay, I can sit and think about the pain and I can sit and just eat the food, get through the night and I can be consumed with the pain, consumed with the sensation of pain, consumed with the thoughts of why is this still here? Doctors suck. They don't know anything. What is seven, 10 years of med school even give you? I've helped myself more than I can get into it. I, what is going on with this medical system? I could get into that or what did I do? I forgot about myself by seeking interest and introducing myself to everybody that night. Forget about yourself. I was asking questions. I was volunteering some information. I was intrigued and looking to learn things about other people's work, making the rounds, having terrible conversations. I was awkward at times, but forgetting about it, putting yourself out there to release yourself from the cage that we pace in Bruce Coburn, pace in the cage. It helps so much. I forgot about the pain because the energy is moved away from you and it feels good to ask people questions. It feels good to learn more. It's not self serving, although it helped with the pain. This is the two truths that we need to talk about. It's self serving and selfish because I needed to do this for me to forget about the pain, but it was also serving other people at the same time because I asked questions. I was intrigued and they got to talk about their work too. Forget about yourself. This is the 17th time I've said it. Let go a little bit about your own expectation about your own thinking, about what would be always good for you all the time, about your own feelings, about your own emotions, about your own thoughts. Forget a little bit and see what happens because when we forget about ourselves and we release the black hole stuff, we're open to possibility. We're open to more things. We're open to opinions. We're open to more ideas or open to more options and choices and different paths we can go down. Or we're not so focused and consumed with our heads down when your head's down on the path. You don't even know where you're going. You can look up a little bit when you forget about yourself. Take a glance around. Oh, look at all of this cool stuff. I forgot about all this cool stuff. Wow. This isn't really about me after all. I think it's about a little bit more. It's not only about me. It's about a lot of other things. Cool. Thanks for listening, everyone. Link's in the description if you want to join Zoom calls with me. Link in the description if you want to support this ad-free podcast because sponsors email me every day and I'd love to earn some big bucks. But I also, like when I listen to podcasts an ad-free environment is very pleasing. So if you'd like to support the podcast and get a bunch of freebies, check out the Patreon link in the description. I'd like to thank you all for listening. Take care. See you next time. Bye.