 But as I got older and started to really listen to the context in which people were called bitches, I realized that a bitch is simply someone who says or does something that you personally don't like. For me, being a bitch is all about saying no to people, spaces, and sometimes even circumstances that don't align with my being, with my energetic being. It's all about drawing boundaries and prioritizing the self. Over the last couple of years, I've been reclaiming the word bitch. I've been using it in a more positive way. Being a bitch to me means stepping out of my comfort zone and choosing to be myself and do what I want to do, regardless of what other people think or say. This video is sponsored by Audible, the best place to listen to literally whatever you are interested in, best selling audio books in any genre. Audible Originals, incredible podcasts, guided meditations, and it's all in one place. Members of Audible get to keep one title in their library forever, and you get to choose one title each and every month. And here's something even cooler than that. Not only is Audible an amazing place to learn, to get inspired, to be entertained, it is also absolutely free. If you are a brand new member for 30 days, you can get their 30-day free trial, which is going to get you access to all of the Audible Originals, to all of their plus content, plus to get you that one free title. And to do this, all you have to do is go to audible.com slash Shan Booty. Or if you're in the U.S., text the word Shan Booty to the phone number 500 500. The link is in the info box. But one more time, if you need it again, audible.com slash Shan Booty or text Shan Booty to 500 500 at the end of this video. I'm giving you some incredible Audible recommendations. So stay tuned. Hi there, lovers and friends. So in this video, I want to explore a word that can be very provocative or empowering, and I really wanted to lean into the empowering side of it. As I've just given birth to my second daughter, it's a word that really strengthens me and emboldens me. And so I wanted to talk about it with all of you. And I literally meant all of you because I put out a casting call to ask three questions. And I also want you in the comment section to also answer these three questions. Okay, let's go. When I was younger, I thought being a bitch or being called a bitch was the worst thing possible because the definition that was fed to me was a bitch is someone who is mean, disrespectful, who is rude, who is angry. And most of all, worst of all, is unhappy. And that person is so unhappy that they take that out on anyone in their path. And that's what a bitch is. But as I got older, I started to really listen to the context in which people were called bitches. I realized that a bitch is simply someone who says or does something that you personally don't like. You are a bitch because I'm telling the truth. That makes me a bitch. And the more I analyzed it, I realized there's a lot of reasons that people don't like the way somebody acted or what someone said that had nothing to do with that person's goodness. Instead, the other person's intentions. So for example, if I really want a yes out of you and you say, no, oh, I call you a bitch. But that person was just standing up for their own boundaries and advocating for their own needs. If I really want someone to back down and they won't and they stand their ground and they stand in their truth, well, that person's a bitch rather than that person is strong and assured and confident. And when I realized the way in which this word was being misused, I decided to reclaim it and now I am proudly a bitch. And if I overhear people calling me a bitch, I get a little tinge of pride. Don't get me wrong. I do check myself, but the word bitch, that's not going to be the trigger to get me there. That's a trigger for me to be like, I am dead bitch. I know a lot of you have been following me for a very long time. And as a result, you have seen my ups and my downs. I just started not feeling well all the time. And my downs, why does God only want me to minimally receive some form of success? Why aren't I massively successful? And then there's this down. God bless her. She's so cute. I mean, first of all, I feel confident enough in my abilities to say, I got something to say. I got 300 pages worth of something to say. And this is fantastic. And my work is good. And I am good enough. I truly believe that being vulnerable, raw, naked and vocal during my low points is one of my superpowers. And I do think it is something that deeply saved me, not just online and the support I got from many of you, but in my everyday life, the relationships that I formed with people, the people who came into my life during these times, because I wasn't afraid to say, I need help and I need saving in ways that I'm not capable of doing myself. But the flip side, the dark side to doing this is that you end up forming a lot of relationships that are based around the dynamic of you needing saving and them being the savior. And what can happen when you become more empowered and strengthened is that those relationships that are based on those dynamics as you start to shift, they have a really hard time shifting as well. And in October of 2020, I was pregnant with my first kid. I had just bought a new home. I was on a show that my name was in the title. I was just in a place where I started to really finally feel like I have this figured out. I have both feet firmly placed on the ground. I know who I am. I know what's important and I'm not a fuck up. And that is a really big statement for me to say. I feel like my whole entire life, I've kind of had the brand of being like all over the place in a gong show and kind of goofy. And it was then that I was like, nah, I'm actually a really capable, strong, smart adult. And as I made that realization, I also started to realize that there was three foundational relationships in my life that were not acknowledging that or not adjusting to that because those relationships really became strong during my low points and those individuals had a hard time adjusting to the new power dynamics. No longer did I need, did I need an advice giver or a patriarchal or matriarchal figure? I needed collaborators. I needed equals and trying to shake those relationships out of that phase, I think is really what unleashed my bitch. Um, and I'm going to be honest, I've only gotten more aggressive and more sure in my bitchy side, since those things have happened. And I would love to tell you the happily ended happily ever after, you know, end of the story is that those relationships rose to the occasion. They shifted and now they're completely better. Um, some of them will never be the same. Some of them don't exist anymore, but my bitch is here and she's here to stay and my kids and my closest relationships, my marriage, my work benefits from her. So it was a small price to pay and it doesn't discount the fact that I am so grateful for what those people did in my life at that time, but things change and not everybody can change with it. The experience that made my bitchy side come out was when I was feeling really unhappy last year. I was feeling as if life was living me instead of me living life. Um, I was pleasing some people in my life, had bad habits, and I constantly felt like I was contained and not living to my full potential and serving my own needs. So at that point I was like, okay, I have to be a bitch. I have to cut out some people, cut out some habits and start living for me. So the moment that I decided that I was going to be a bitch was the moment where I chose to quote unquote rebel against my mother for stepping out of her terms and her conditions on how I was going to live my life. A defining moment was when I had to get a loved one out of jail during the pandemic, um, because they were not able to honor some financial commitments that they had made to others. And that was a huge moment for me because this person is the most loving, most given person I've ever known and seeing them get locked up because they've been so given and they cared about themselves last was a very scary thing to me. Life's a bitch and that's a bitch, but bitches are good. The advice that I would give to my younger self about the role that the word bitch has is not to use it to take other women down because we don't need to. We can cheer other women up with, hey, bitch, you're rocking it today. The advice I would give my younger self about the word bitch is don't let it be a bad thing. Don't let it bother you because when people use those terms towards you, it's usually because you're doing something that they would never do. I would tell my younger self that being a bitch is not a bad thing. In fact, it's a good thing. It makes you happier, healthier. It gives you more peace. It gives you more joy. It helps you show up to the world as your best self every day. The advice I would give to my younger self about the word bitch is listen closely, listen closely to when it's used, how it's used, and then figure out for yourself if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Don't just blindly follow people's tones or people's truths, no matter who those people are. Shout out to everyone who took part in this video and big thank you to the sponsor of this video, which is Audible, the largest selection of audio entertainment on the planet, a place you can go to listen to audio books, guided meditations, Audible originals, podcasts, guided fitness, and so much more. All you have to do to get in on this goodness is click a link. Yes, they have a free 30 day trial, which is going to allow you to be an Audible member. And as an Audible member, you get one free title of an audiobook, bestseller, new release and all to keep forever, despite what you choose to do or not to do after your 30 day free trial is up. And you also get access to all their other incredible content, so many hours to listen to. So I highly suggest you go to audible.com slash Shan Booty or text the word Shan Booty if you're in the U.S. to the phone number 500 500 again audible.com slash Shan Booty or text Shan Booty to the phone number 500 500. And now, as promised, I asked all of you in the theme in the energy of this video, what are some audiobooks that you recommend? And here's what you said.