 Could never die, as long as I have you near me And he follows us He's a comic, you know what I'm saying, but I'm trying to follow an official Twitter account Hey, do I remind you of Molly Ringwald right now because I look pretty in pink? You wouldn't It's incredibly rapey Watch it again You know what? It's been a long time since I've seen pretty in pink It's incredibly rapey It's bad Well, they're talking about, because this girl's passed out and this guy's telling Dude, go get it! She won't know Oh wow, that reminds me of the scene in Animal House It's a different time, but also a very different rapey time But I saw it for the first time like a year ago It's the first experience I haven't seen it since like a kid I think most people have nostalgia feelings about it Because they saw it when they were kids It falls into the whole category That comes into mind when you think 16 Candles and Breakfast Club Because it's Molly Ringwald film Yeah But it's weird I've gone back and looked at films that I once loved That were from the 1980s And I've gone back and watched them I'm excited to watch them And then I'm like Oh wow, why did I like that? That's not appropriate Okay, anyway Hi everybody That's all this is about Not at all We don't know why we did that We're direct to a stand-up We're a dub Yes, okay, good Same joke It's called, it's my birthday It's a comedian we have yet to see Great His name is Yep Sumit Anand 7 million views So it should be pretty funny It's my birthday You know what? Watching the stand-up comedians It's making me want to go You know I went a couple of times Out to the comedy store And you failed miserably No, they never It was open mic And they just never called my name I sat there for hours And nobody ever called my name to go up And do my thing Because you're ugly Here we go That's different I'm going to tell you more I was actually born in Haryana Because my dad, you know Did it there only Just what? Did it there only I wasn't there Man, I would have stopped I was also born in Haryana Because grandpa Not Appaka Singh Do I come from a long line of family Who don't know where to do it He's going in Haryana except And don't you know Location is important It took me 20 years To get out of Haryana Emotional Otherwise you could take a bath Emotional is the one who takes a while Now people are like You don't sound like Haryana I'm like, I didn't talk to anyone But it was exciting enough For me to contribute I make bad answers Remain silent for 20 years Not Haryana Learn English Quite late Yeah, in college we used to have a pack With friends to always talk in English So we never fought But if you cut down your vocab The amount of friendship that you can form Emotional is unlimited The guys standing there asking me What did I do And you're like You, fucking you I know it in Hindi man And you Forgiveness, forgiveness Forgiveness is the answer I forgive you Again It's like I'm the Lailama Out of language barrier Certain words in English I still can't use I know the word I know the meaning That should be sufficient I just didn't grow up like that One of these words is Well use it in front of me I'm always like Dude, we were just talking We didn't have to bring all this up And I thought we were friends Behind my back Have you been using the word Randovo? What's going on? They used the trivial stuff They go like dude I went to the zoo And I was flabbergasted I'm always like How did you come back alive then? I've been at the zoo bro I've been to the zoo I've never been that word I've never felt anything like that That I thought dude Now I'm flabbergasted and experienced Damn you It's just 17 minutes long He's like Where have you been? My dad caught me masturbating When I was 12 I was simply Surprised That I could read Maybe my dad Was flabbergasted It's a rich people You don't imagine kids Under flyover talking like I'm flabbergasted The heat in the capital did it I still don't know At what point Flabbergasted is an appropriate word To use that You have to use it now That situation My dad caught me masturbating That was surprising Then my dad comes in And he starts masturbating I'm just checking I'm just checking Then my mom on the side Should be going That is flabbergasted She didn't know that word either We were all not rich That's for it Also like my family's not rich And mom is rich on the side We were all together And shit in us in life and words Some people are confused I've never masturbated with my dad These are jokes I stay home alone all day I get these thoughts Might be a good person I get money to beg Anybody does that? What's that noise? Yes or no Just shouting That's an answer to the universe Anybody How much? 50 10 or 50 That's a nice bracket What do you look for in a bag? I give them 100 bucks Yeah It's not a selfless act I need to see the look in their eyes That's why I've been asking around Is anybody giving more than 100 bucks? Recently I haven't been getting the look Don't raise the stakes man Give them 100 bucks They can't even believe it They start giving change back 90 bucks One time I was in my cab There was a kid next to the red light And he was smiling And I was like That's a cute smile I smiled back Then he started walking towards my car And I was like Did he just track me? Fuck man He was next to my window going So I'm like So what? I used to smile I used to smile I smiled back Out of my love You're converting this into capitalism I stood there I was so stupid That I started my day with red lights Hoping for a return smile from strangers I was like Make sense? Here's your 100 bucks Here's another 100 You just gave me stand up material I'll convert the second 100 Into 1000s Won't give you anything I converted this into capitalist That's how it works I win and you lose It's predefined People still stood there Silently I don't understand But if you keep talking Will the money come? This is the insurance money I have ever made He told fellow beggars Guys chase this guy This guy speaks shit And then money comes up He's our ATM Learn the word capital Seems important Might be a good person Never hit a moving driver Less than five Can't Which proves I might be A good person And definitely Not a woman But I feel like I don't think any girl Is walking into a cap Thinking definitely a five star Even if it does well There'll still be like Four stars for future mistakes That's his first fellow woman He's a man No one's perfect I'm just guessing I've never been a woman I can't trade the over I'm on the audience I'll play around though Sometimes I sit at home Book an over And then they can call If I should move or not I'm just checking if the world Is ready for The guy is like I'm at the location I'm like Can you go to the destination And see if it is worth it Just live my life on my behalf And report from my future And I'm actually Went to the location And I was sitting at my cap There was a guy Pressure behind me A bunch of taxi drivers They're staring at me Have you had that feeling Well they can't know Taxi drivers are just like Nah man don't do this Like why Why give money to the rich Give it to the poor Now that makes sense Great way of selling taxes So I ignored him Lot of things make sense You don't have to follow You can just agree it makes sense Do what you like Like you should brush twice a day Ah you should Brush twice a day Fucking keep brushing My Uber Uber drivers even let him know I sit down even let him know I'm like dude Whatever happens from here Won't change the stars between us He's like what And the guy said it Even if he gets me late Which is a huge feat guys Because I Have Time I can even tell you Time is not money I just have time I moved either to choose time Or money And I thought Mukesh Ambani I can't live with money So we're subs No And what's the point of life That Mukesh says I just wonder What's Mukesh doing now? I'm a loser I won Loser Mukesh Not this joke Just to say the last two words Everything Looks like a dick He's insecure Lost to me I'm a grave too First I'll have a grave I don't believe in religion I let the Hindu die As a Christian I know who cares I'll have a grave I'll write Mukesh Ambani Lost to me Other people who take the grave They look at my grave They'll be surprised They'll be like Mukesh lost His friend will be like His brother's grave He'll be like What the fuck Mukesh lost Which game? Cricket Politics Same answer He made up a game One hit himself He dances Take it in his own house And wins again Mukesh He doesn't even know Who knows This devil start thinking You can write anything on your grave It's your grave Have fun with it First of all Why should only successful people Leave a message Life first You had a good life You want to preach even after five Shut the fuck up And be dead You live your life properly Now be dead properly How do you be dead properly Just shut the fuck up If you're really successful We'll give you a Google Doogle every year What? Every successful person You leave their into the I just want to leave a message Just leave Meanwhile it's your grave You write anything Have fun with it People vision the grave I'll give them a laugh They'll look at your grave You just write Hey, what's up man Heaven is real Like an asterisk sign You're like What does the asterisk say But it's like mostly mud You go to the next grave You write Hell is also real What does the asterisk say I'm the same guy from last grave Just fucking with it That has my body Let's talk about relationships Because I have the mic Once I had a girlfriend Then she got to know me She didn't leave She kept saying I know you Which for some reason Sounds even worse So I had to dump her Just to have the one time pleasure Of saying Did you know that Relationships are difficult man I'm actually I'm 34 years old now I know I'm actually 33 But I'd say 34 So that next year I'll be better I have to do hacks like that This time I'll cut my birthday I'll be like Fuck, I'm still 34 I don't have time Because I was not as excited As she wanted me to be On my birthday Which in some way Deeply hurt her feet For what I did to her They do that shit I'm not I'm old now man I'm not 19 happy about life For no reason 19 year brain is right You ask a 19 year old me How was your day Like amazing What happened Wanna race Where? On the highway Against who? Everybody on the highway I don't know They were racing against me I'm old now man Because look at me All the wrong body parts Are showing positive I have so much hair You guys can't see it But not just this Like both of them Look at my body There is no hair till hair And then there's a massive increase Of hair It's like God gave up midway Like a weird dart Which puts water in the garden You just look at him You just put it in the hole And stay there Because it's not just a flower It's only one benefit Like even mosquitoes can't break I wish there were subtitles Or figure Hindi I can already see the comments What was wrong with Rick today And What was wrong with Rick today Well I have said every day Half of the time I didn't know What he was saying It's not his fault I can't blame him For us not knowing the language Why was that blaming him Because you're an evil evil person Rick All the stuff I understood It was pretty darn funny Especially It was difficult Because you know We had the barrier Of not having subs Or us not knowing Hindi Yeah And so you lost us For a few minutes No like Half the stand-up Well maybe you I got most of it Really? Not the Hindi parts But that was That was a half It felt like Almost like Like half of the jokes He did Had punch lines That I didn't understand Because he was saying Hindi No it wasn't half I'd say a fourth All right A fourth A large percentage of it Yeah And that was Unfortunate that we didn't have the subs Because I'm sure it was really funny And you know Once again Not his fault No it's not his fault We either need to learn Hindi Or I need That's what I would love Somebody told me It was mostly in English And I took that as Like there were a few lines That were in Hindi Right because we've seen that There's been some comedians They've seen that they throw An occasional line That's a punch line And we're like Oh we didn't get that one That's okay But this was By far Any of the stand-up we've seen The most where It was The lines were said in Hindi And we just Lost the translation He's a very Irfan Khan Style About him I tell you what That's my favorite thing About him Is that he's extremely Just I feel like what you're seeing Is what you get That's us He steps on stage And that's who he is Like the Le Manshalan Kind of demeanor Which is You know It's a Style of comedians For have that But it's very Irfan Khanish To me I feel like If he ever did stand up That's how he would be He was like What is he doing It's a bit Right Very low-key But yeah That's the other thing too Is that There were parts of it That were funny There were a few things That were really Laugh Out Loud funny For me definitely wasn't anywhere near some of the stand-up we've seen, as far as the hilarity level for me. Parts of it were, but there were some parts of it. So like I said, I think it's asked to do with the fact that a fourth of it, we were out of it. Yeah. And so like we have no idea what's going on. Other people are laughing, but you're, it's kind of like the Joker who doesn't get the the actual jokes in your brain. Right. Which was a great part of that film. I loved that film. But yeah, it's, I would like to see more, but if there's, next time I want to make sure, so yeah, I'll make sure that either it's all in English or whether subs or we magically learn Hindi really quickly. I'm gonna learn Hindi so well do it. Stop being a little and learn Hindi, Rick.