 How do you see yourself in today's world with the media and internet often showing us images of what we should want or desire to look like? It's no wonder so many people often report having negative feelings towards their bodies. Psychology professor Dr. Nicole K. McNichol's PhD explains in an article for Psychology Today that 90% of women and 20 to 40% of men report body dissatisfaction. At the same time there is a significant link between poor body image and low libido and low sexual satisfaction. So where does the connection lie? McNichol's explains that one reason we may overanalyze our body in the context of sex is due to what she calls spectatoring. This process was suggested by research team masters and Johnson in 1970. It happens when one basically gets trapped in their own head, overanalyzing and viewing themselves from a third person perspective during sexual activities. Instead of being in the sexual moment before them, they view themselves as a spectator, critical of themselves. Instead of focusing on the sensations they may be feeling, McNichol's explains that spectatoring ruins the joy inherent to sex by diverting attention away from any pleasurable sexual sensations, as well as a partner's erotic use. The effect then takes a deep downward spiral. A person's psychological disassociation from their body keeps them from enjoying sex, which in turn fuels further feelings of doubt and insecurity. In men, this can also lead to performance anxiety and erectile dysfunction. And remember that 90% figure? 90% of women report body dissatisfaction, which may just affect them more especially in the bedroom. As sex therapist Lori J. Watson, PhD explains that especially women more often have two types of body image issues that can affect them in the bedroom. So what are they? One, how they see themselves. If you're often critically viewing your body and getting lost in a negative thought process instead of getting lost in the moment, this may increase your anxiety regarding engaging in sexual activity. An anxiety often doesn't help get you in the mood. Sex therapist Dr. Lori J. Watson explains in an article for Psychology Today that if a woman feels like her body is unattractive, it leads to lower sexual self-esteem, which then often leads to avoidance of sexual activity. Once one area of the sexual cycle is interrupted, often several areas of the sexual cycle are disrupted. Desire, arousal, and orgasm. But wait, does size matter? One common critical question people may ask themselves in the bedroom. Does size matter? Your critical thoughts can rest. A study published in the journal Psychology of Men and Masculinity mentioned on Lloyd's pharmacy online doctor suggested that males attribute more importance to penis size than their female partners. The study states whereas 85% of women were satisfied with their partner's penis size, only 55% of men were satisfied with their penis size. Generally, what's more largely found to be important to women is a partner who is tender and caring, or knowing what your partner wants. Discovering how your partner likes to be touched and caressed tends to make for better sex. Two, how they think others see them. Another thing that may influence your sexual functioning, how you believe others view you and your body. Results from a 2021 study published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin suggests this as well. The research, which included two studies, stated that across both studies, women with poorer body image perceived their partner to be less attracted to them, irrespective of their partner's actual attraction to them, or how attracted they were to their partner, which in turn was associated with lower relationship and sexual satisfaction. But what about for men? For men, attraction to their partner was consistently associated with their own relationship satisfaction. The study suggests this is all due to projection biases. Think about it. If you've been playing with the idea that you're unattractive or that your partner isn't attracted to you, even if they are, this may just make it harder for you to approach them sexually. The study also had interesting results highlighting the differences between the male participants' results and the female participants' results. Psychology Today author Arash Amamsadeh summarizes the results in his article stating that concerning relationship satisfaction and sexual satisfaction, what mattered most to the women in the study were their feelings about their own body rather than their attraction to their romantic partner. For men, attraction to their romantic partner was what mattered the most because it was positively linked with their relationship satisfaction and sexual satisfaction. And in the second investigation, even with the romantic partner's sexual satisfaction, many people's focus and body image insecurities are different in each sexual context. But if you want to improve your body image and its effects on sex, there are some things that may help you, improving body image. Sex therapist Lori J. Watson recommends that you decrease negative self-talk before and during sex. How? Every time those negative thoughts or feelings arise before or during sex, she recommends to remind yourself that you are entitled to sexual pleasure and that sex will bring you more closeness and bonding with your partner. She also recommends practicing mindfulness. As thoughts arise, face them with curiosity and let them pass without accepting them as 100% truth. Watson suggests that you don't let yourself judge the feeling or thought, just let it reside in your mind and be curious about it. As we question our thoughts and feelings, we learn that they are only thoughts and feelings. They are not concrete reality. Another tip that might help is to be around those who aren't hyper-focused on their bodies in conversation. Do you have a friend who always comments on your body or features? Or maybe they place extreme importance on theirs, so body image takes the focus often in your discussions with them? Psychology professor Dr. Nicole K. McNichols suggests to not only be around those who have interest beyond their physical features, but to also focus on things that remind you of how great a person you are. Develop a sense of confidence, self-acceptance, and openness from other things that you excel at. She says, beauty is a state of mind, not a state of your body. Beautiful words, doctor. Beautiful words. Where do you currently stand in regards to your body image and sex? If you find these negative thoughts or feelings regarding your body and self-persist, it might be helpful to reach out to a mental health professional for help. They may be able to provide useful suggestions and guide you along in your journey to a happy and healthy, positive body image. Feel free to comment your thoughts below. And remember to subscribe to Psych2Go for more psychology content like this. Thanks for watching.