 That's not really my thought but I've become really interested in a branch of CBT called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and the question that they ask is are you willing to experience all these difficult thoughts feelings memories that we all have to experience in order to do what's important to you and it's something that I'm using increasingly certainly with older people and I think god if I've got any wish for for this book it's that people understand that it is part of life experiencing difficulty whether you're a child a young person a teacher a parent you know all of us but being willing to experience those difficulties and obviously building in whatever we can to make the manageable is really important if we're going to keep moving in the direction that we want to move in.